#proflowers au

[nayladoodles]

Nervous Rhythm

This idea popped into my head after reading @professorflowers reverse au. Poor Zira.

I just kept thinking about how Zira would react to my au Aziraphale. My bean is extremely anxious in new places and often has anxiety attacks that are so intense he can't speak at all. Annnnyways enjoy~

Warning: Mention of anxiety attacks, panic attacks and paranoia. Self hatred and distress.

The sound of tapping drew Zira's attention as he walks past a café. He is one his own as Crowly is busy with some heaven related task or another but promised he'd be back in a week. He also promised to call and text Zira whenever he could. This left the mute demon a bit bored and all around lonely aside from Eve who Crowly left behind to keep him company. The cardinal is asleep at Crowly's apartment in his indoor garden. Zira decided a walk might help his nerves and the feeling of being stir crazy without Crowly there until Sunday. Curious about the persistent tapping coming from a table Zira wanders into the outdoor dining area.

Az nervously taps his chopsticks on the table as he waits for his sushi to arrive in a desperate attempt to keep himself calm in this very unfamilar place. New places are normally fine for him so long as his husband or friends are with him to help him around. Being thrust into a new location out of the blue without warning scares him and triggers his paranoia that something will go wrong. He could barely get through ordering food without tears. He misses his husband and has no idea where the heaven he is aside from it being somewhere in England. He's very glad he learned morse code to help Crowly when he has a really bad panic attack. Right now he seems fidgety but is tapping out his calming mantra to ease his rising anxiety.

Zira watches the man curiously wondering if he's simply practicing using chopsticks or if he has a song stuck in his head which happens to him often enough with the music Crowly listens to. The last song he got stuck in his head was called Happier by Bastille which is catchy despite being about a break up. Some people wave to Zira smiling at him. He waves back with a shy smile as he aporoaches the man tapping his chopsticks against the tabletop in a rhythmic pattern. Definitely got a song stuck in his head. Zira decides listening to the unfamiliar rhythm of the bamboo against the metal tabletop. He goes closer to the man surprised when he looks up sharply even though Zira is avout five feet away from him. Zira finally gets a look at his face and finds the oversized vintage glasses on his face very fitting. His eyes are a washed out blue/gold gradient and freckles dust his cheeks and nose some dark brown and others golden. Zira waves to the man who is gripping his chopsticks tighter the tapping having stopped when the man looked up. The man does not respond to Zira's wave making the demon a bit sad and confused. Maybe the man is shy around strangers? The chopsticks are starting to crack in the man's tight grip.

Az is so close to dropping and he can't stand the feeling. His anxiety and paranoia are suffocating him despite the mantra he taps out. He hears someone aporoaching and stops tapping his chopsticks his paranoia immediately causing him to assume he has annoyed someone and that he is going to be scolded or told to leave. Tears well up in his eyes as he struggles to rein his emotions in before he causes a scene. He can't breathe as the bamboo snaps under the pressure of his fingers.

Zira watches the bamboo snap and realizes something is off about the man. He senses a wave of negative emotions coming off him and it clicks. Anxiety. Panic. Other people are staring at the man with concern. Zira goes over to him and signs asking the man to take a deep breath. The sign goes ignored like his wave had. Zira is a bit annoyed by his attempt to help going ignored but, tries again to get the man's attention. He gets no response once again and becomes frustrated. The man needs to calm down and quickly before he ends up fainting from hyperventilation. Remembering the tapping Zira picks up a broken chopstick tapping it against the table trying to recreate the rythm he heard earlier. The man gtips his wild pale gold curls trembling and taking short shallow breaths.

This is all my fault! If id just been quiet! Now they're all mad at me! Mocking me with their chopsticks! I'm so stupid! Az thinks to himself as he hears the tapping restart. The rythm is wrong making his panic even worse as the tapoing begins to echo loudly in his ears.

"One Sunrise Special for Az?"

The waiter talking pushes Az over the edge and his wings manifest abruptly sending the sushi and soy sauce tumbling onto Zira and the confused waiter. Az stumbles to his feet fleeing the cafe not turning back tears running down his cheeks.

Zira wipes sauce off his face tears in his own eyes as the man flees crying. Was his tapping that bad? He turns to the waiter and pulls him up giving him 10£ for the sushi. Sticky and dejected Zira turns to walk back to the angel's empty apartment. Snifflingbthe demon lets his head wings pop out hiding inside them. He gets back and takes a bath sitting in the water sadly his small wings dropping as he cries. Eve flies into the bathroom landing on his head sensing his distress. He titters softly making Zira sniff again. Eventually the demon dries off draining the tub and puts on pyjamas going into the living room and sitting at the table. Eve follows him landing on the wood and nudging his hand. Letting out a soft hic Zira pets the cardinal who nuzzles into the small wings on his head. He lets Eve play with his feathers not in the mood to move. He doesn't move all night still upset the man was so distressed because of him. Frustrated he picks up a pencil and starts tapping it against the wood like the man had been doing the day before only for the rythm to be wrong. Frustrated he tries again and fails to replicate the rythm he heard. Rubbing his tear filed eyes Zira tries again and again and again. Sniffling Zira hics as he cries frustrated about being unable to help the man. He's a demon with standards after all. Being evil just isn't his forte. Laying his head on his arms he begins to tap the pencil again with Eve nestled in his hair as he snoozed. He sniffs again tears dripping onto the polished wood. As he taps the rythm is still wrong and he throws the pencil down with a frustrated sob. He hides inside his wings crying softly Eve still nestled in his hair.

"Zira?" His head snaps up and he sees Crowly standing there with his faded messanger bag over his shoulder. Zira stands and runs over hugging his angel and crying softly into his neck. Crowly hugs him back nuzzling his swan. "Missed you too." He hums rubbing the demon's back gently. Crowly lets him go pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Once he made a cup of tea Crowly settles with Zira curled up against his side as the demon taps his arm gently and rythmicly. "When did you learn morse vode Zira?" The demon starts explaining in sign wgat happened yesterday.

"...he wasn't ignoring you." Crowly says quietly. Zira sniffs still upset by it. "I mean it Zira he wasn't ignoring your attempt to help him." Zira throws up his hands frustrated. "Zira...." The demon stops at Crowly's voice getting quiet like that. He looks at him. Crowly grips his mug a bit tighter his eyes full of sorrow. "Zira that man you met wasn't ignoring you..." Zira's eyes widen as he stares at the angel beside him. "I met him on my way home. He was so scared."

Zira that little angel you met yesterday. That little angel is

B L I N D.