#procreate wouldn’t even let me add a layer to fix up some things

[nozomijoestar]

Transcribed and formatted for readability the master thesis between me and @wlwclem​ on the nuances to NaraTrish together and as individuals being why we love it and respect it not being CompHet- we spent way too much Big Brain Energy on it to not share 

tw: brief mention of F-Slur when giving an example on toxic masculinity being bullshit, sexuality is briefly discussed in a non sexualizing way and in no graphic detail

*insert IM TRISH KIN BUCCIARATI joke here*

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:45 PM

JDDBSJDBD YES bc ofc she gotta be Reassuring but at the same time his Himboism Knows No Bounds One of the lines in EoH u can give her is “Go get me an Italian Vogue magazine too while you’re at it” and I’m like. Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:46 PM

JDHDHDF BDE Narancia whipped Narancia stands no chance

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:46 PM

OH FOR REAL one of HIS victory lines is something about getting all the stuff for her lmao And this is like even if she isn’t in the battle, Always Thinking Of His Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:50 PM

Trish decides to test the limits of this and his ability to recognize them by asking for impossible or nonexistent items/feats and when he continues to try for her without question she realizes she has too much power and must restrain it fjdjjdjfjf Can't turn into Dad

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:51 PM

JDBDBSJS The color palette changes while she has an inner monologue while she watches him try to make her happy

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:53 PM

"Oh my god Bucciarati was right...he's too loyal for his own good I need to stop even if it's a little fun"   Meanwhile Narancia: growing more and more frustrated with himself for perceived failure to someone he loves

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:55 PM

She stops for the most part but does it every so often bc it’s cute

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:56 PM

Lucky to have a freak like dat I feel like the only thing that can counter this self defeatism Narancia can get (bc his younger childhood...ofc he's fucked up and anxious and paranoid abt not being enough or abandoned) is Trish having to open her own repressed self up and love the shit out of himLike those reassuring lines she has in EoH and her moments in the anime/manga Bruno fucking does it as his father figure and Narancia admits it gives him strength

December 19, 2019

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:04 AM

Yes, he feels like he has to prove his worth and like he’s worth having around otherwise he’s useless, i def feel like he would not like talking about the stuff that happened in the past with everyone bc he would feel ashamed and stupid or st, he needs to be told You Are Enough and her to open up too so they can lean on each other

nozomijoestarToday at 12:12 AM

Honestly no jokes for a second I feel like this is also abt breaking toxic masculinity bc it's fucking Italy in the early 00s just out of the 90s...it was RIFE rifer than even now with that shit like in much of the world then too, the idea that a boy becoming a man and men in general need to strictly follow dumbass self harming rules

 especially abt not opening up and only having real priorities for earning money, honoring family, and procreating as much as possible whether it's marriage making a family or "having sexual conquests" in promiscuity, anything outside of this bullshit image can't be tolerated and you might as well be a woman or "a fag" if you don't assert some fictional narrative of trying extremely hard to have power in everything bc that's all that matters is the ridiculous idea of Alpha Males applied to humans 

Narancia being a 80s- 90s kid with the childhood he had did not give him much fighting chance at all in this context and time period  esp just bc he happened to be born with a dick and thus saddled with these harmful expectations society made that could've only further repressed his recognition of not beating himself up and his own emotional needs on top of EVERYONE ever betraying him Where was he supposed to go? He can't go anywhere unless he meets Bruno

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:18 AM

yes i agree..... like, males being looked down upon for opening up, being societally forced to shoulder the burdens and “man up” and just deal with it and fix everything. And then already having a toxic support system with his “friend” betraying him and his dad Sucking Major Ass, all he’s been taught is deal with it but hasn’t been given the tools to know how, and if Bruno didn’t meet him he honestly would be so stuck, what person (esp in that time period) is going to go out of their way to help an uneducated young male?

nozomijoestarToday at 12:20 AM

Even if it tragically ends with his death in canon I feel like the time he spent with Bruno's bois, Giorno, and Trish was huge in making some of that crack little by littleBc he has moments where you see how sweet he actually is, his "real" personality if you will underneath all the unresolved anger when he's with ppl he sees love him and give him hope When Giorno said No One Is Going To Hurt You Anymore that just made me cry harder

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:23 AM

Yes! Like, ofc he gets angry, has unrepressed rage and reactions to things, he hasn’t had any type of emotional support in SO long and it’s not like it’s 100% fantastic in that regard with buccigang (which don’t get me wrong they are family but they are still in an aggressive gang and go off and give each other lots of shit)-YEAH AND THE FUCKIGN PLANT GROWING TOO IM

nozomijoestarToday at 12:25 AM

Trish is legit I think the one person aside from Giorno who would treat him without even the gang's aggressiveness Narancia is my fav in VA even if Bruno is the best written VA character bc he's me, this kind of shit in my life is why I developed PTSD undiagnosed since my childhood that only kept getting worse until only this year have I gotten any true help I know exactly how he feels 

Esp when you think your whole life exists to serve others never yourself NaraGio shippers I see y'all argument even if I don't follow it tbh, Gio was again the only one besides Trish to consistently care for Nara in day to day and when he was in danger and esp during the Clash and Talking Heads fight Gio was the one dude present like No Narancia It's Ok Please Tell Me What's Wrong You're Clearly Stressed

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:31 AM

yeah although i haven’t experienced it i can still empathize and try to understand, i think there’s so many layers of protection and walls that most people never truly look past it to see the root cause or true self YES that fight was so frustrating bc they were all like Narancia stop being an idiot when something was clearly wrong and he was obviously in distress!!

nozomijoestarToday at 12:32 AM

Also Gio was the only one who first asserted that No, Narancia did the right thing in fighting Formaggio

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:33 AM

Yes and with that whole interaction the gang often uses Narancia as the scapegoat essentially and just give him shit for every little thing without trying to understand his POV

nozomijoestarToday at 12:33 AM

The Clash fight tbh I feel was an ass pull set up to give Narancia his big bad ass loyalty proving moment even if it's a great fight that beginning part is...only the Trish and Gio interactions rly make sense fjdjdjI wish him and Giorno hung out more or I guess more like talked more bc you can't rly hang out when you're getting assassinated every day hfgdg

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:36 AM

Yeah hdkdb, even with Fugo, even tho he found him and brought him to Bruno, he still calls him a dumbass, stabs him with a fork and shit, and then with Mista even tho I feel like they are Like Bros, he destroys Narancia’s radio for no fucking reason and also has a pattern of taking shit Narancia paid for without paying him backI def agree with that, I feel like Giorno interactions were lacking in that there really weren’t many one on one meaningful things so it’s hard for me to grasp his personal headspace and relationships a lot of the time

nozomijoestarToday at 12:37 AM

However to be a little more fair to the Bucci gang the manga version has Narancia trying a lot lot more to get their attention in logical ways that unfortunately Talking Heads completely ruins, he tried writing to let them know what was happening and TH warped the text into him saying vulgar things bragging abt his dick being a powerful Stand

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:38 AM

Yeah I was gonna add I wasn’t sure if the manga had other stuff, tbf

nozomijoestarToday at 12:38 AM

I think this is also Shounen Tropes of the 90s at play too the "child" character was often written as the comic relief dumbass Narancia suffers it so it does add a layer of Not Good to his relationships The trope still exists tbh Anime cut out him writing I assume bc it's too sexual It's already pushing it having him whip it out and piss in front of everyone jfhdhd

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:41 AM

Yeah you right, it’s like the i want it to be that deep meme, like Araki obvi doesn’t have him only as comic relief but if he delved into his character more there would’ve been so much more that could’ve been done and shown YEAH DJDBDJDJF I WAS SURPRISED THT WAS ANIMATED

------------------------[ CUT INTERMISSION ]-----------------------------

nozomijoestarToday at 12:51 AM

Ok but to get back on track with where I was trying to go even opening this all up is how it's critical to NaraTrish in a mutually beneficial way

nozomijoestarToday at 1:01 AM

Nara is no incel he's a King obvs but he is also at heart a confused scared kid uncertain of anything in the world beyond what's closest in his grasp and without someone actively believing in and validating him he can't fully achieve awareness of healthy dynamics and even the problems within the ones he already has with his gang and Bruno- Trish doesn't have to babysit him and be the stereotypical The Woman Only Supports And Gives Up Her Body bc thats never her and couldn't be her and Narancia wouldn't make her that way bc even when he kinda touches on that (giving in a bit to the idea that men are the main protectors of women) when he gets too fixated on wanting what he thinks is for her wellbeing he does snap out and acknowledge he's wrong bc 

Trish by her independent nature and tremendous Will proves those stereotypes are bullshit, not even factoring in their first meeting as already making a huge impression on his beliefs of what girls can do- Trish knowing how to challenge him by staying true to herself yet having the compassion to help someone suffering and with fewer chances from birth than she had would not only win him over but give him something even Bruno can't, self sustaining confidence, bc Trish isn't part of a chain of command, she's just a girl in love with a boy who wants him to be happy and that concept while foreign to him for so long once it kicks in he could actually learn to build himself For himself and For someone who wouldn't use him for some greater schemes or dirty work, 

I love Bruno ok he's one of the best characters in anything ever but his flaw in his ability to help motivate ppl is tied to that fact that he's bringing them into a dangerous strict order of command to Serve not entirely in a place/way that lets them just be themselves and realize organic loving relationships with anyone and themselves SO

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:05 AM

they’re healing...... being shown love without a position of authority or any obligations is so powerful for his growth

nozomijoestarToday at 1:25 AM

That all being said, Everything Trish does he's paying attention to, she keeps him alive during the Grateful Dead fight not because she needs him to serve for a cause ( a cause might I add even Bruno the near saint he is was ready to let Nara go right then and there for bc death is in the job description) but because she doesn't know him well yet and shit he even swung a knife at her when they first met over who was in the bathroom, but he's a person suffering and in pain and to let him die even if it's Expected Of The Mission is garbage to her even if she respects Bruno down the line as a father compared to fucking evil Diavolo,

 Trish constantly goes out her way to do these things for Nara bc Trish instinctively knows he's the most vulnerable mentally and her sense of compassion and justice (likely something Donatella made sure to instill in her before her death by cherishing Trish and spoiling her even as a single mother) will not stand to not help someone when she could've- and he reciprocates it even if in disbelief bc he can tell This Person Is Safety, This Person Is Like Me Yet Not, A Better Me I Want To Be, by the time he's about to die someone with his fragile mind was actually gaining conviction about taking control for himself on his own terms and he would risk even those chances to defend the person who actually helped him arrive there (along with Gio) in the first place, 

I think by the end of his life he rly did love her or start to, it being romantic or not is up to individual interpretation to which you know I'm in the romance camp, point is he found someone who truly taught him strength without him fully realizing it and did so without belittling him, if anything instead treating him only with love and kindness and patience (not being a door mat for him, but like, not treating him like ass like everyone else has their moments of either), I think anything Trish asks of him, this is all why he's so willing to do it on top of feeling deep  empathy, I've written in my character notes as well that like this goes even further to sex being one of the most intimate things there is, like I kno we jest and jape abt Teens Doing Dumb Shit bc we're clowns 

but the sheer vulnerability you have to have esp in a first love situation to be willing to go through with that for the first time ever takes a lot of trust and courage, aspects I think Trish was able to give him and would solidify in asking something seen as so important for many people from him, the headstrong Trish wants to be vulnerable for him and the slowly confidence boosted Narancia wants to accept that faith and trust and love and exchange it with his own of the same for her, it's not horny teens 100% it's two hurt but hopeful kids on the verge of having to be adults wanting to find another piece of identity in how they are with someone else, obvs it will forever be offscreen bc pedos deserve to be skinned alive 

I just feel that the components that would fuel them to do something teens try to do to feel more adult and bc hormones are a lot more based in growing maturity than pure lust, I think this is what I fully mean by Writing About Teens Exploring Love And Sexuality; Not Fetishizing And Reveling In Showing The Act Itself Especially For Disgusting Titillation, I think this and not explicitly writing the sex are the difference between child porn and creating realistic characters

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:36 AM

Yeah, it is going to sound like a dumb take but the topic of sex and sexuality itself is not inherently sexual, by which I meant it isn’t the focus — there’s SO much more to it and in this case especially it can be like the ultimate sign of love, trust, intimacy, compassion, trying to make your way as a teen through a harsh world, like I can go on. Nasties Dont Interact but the shying away from the mere mention of it in a non-sexualized context is unrealistic. 

 Yes The Grateful Dead fight i 1000% agree is so important in both his personal growth and the development of their relationship, I think it’s an important parallel that he is dumbfounded about her going to such lengths to keep him alive without the sense of duty/obligation versus Trish’s feelings and outbursts of confusion on why Bucciarati and his gang even cared about her, protecting her to the point of death being on the line.(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:44 AM

all these elements of complication and similarities between their characters is why ive gotten so passionate about both them and their relationship (whether romantic or platonic it’s really fucking strong and good), the story of two kids making it through adversity, learning to unshoulder their burdens and lean on others, the Found Family™️, and learning and growing together is just so much more fucking deep and complex than the mainstream bs that exists. 

now im not any type of elitist hipster but esp in male and female relationships portrayed in what feels like basically fucking everything are just like CompHet Bullshit and they’re together bc They Are Just Supposed To Be (not to mention the toxic masculinity culture within that where the women barely have character arcs and are just seen as objects anyways) But what I’m trying to say is that in this the relationship is real and it feels earned in a way that just isn’t there in so much other media out there(edited)

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

Honestly if we tweak this just a lil more this is basically Guts and Casca One of the greatest and saddest romances ever written

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:48 AM

i still have berserk bookmarked just haven’t gotten around to reading yet

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

If VA was a Seinen it's p much Berserk In Italy Also big brain...galaxy brain...everything you said was a fact signed sealed and delivered(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:51 AM

Wow we’re actually in sync and using the brain cell to its fullest extent tonight

nozomijoestarToday at 1:51 AM

When I say she's his world and he's hers this is what I mean, not comphet hdhdhfhYEAH HFHDG

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:52 AM

(also my phone autocorrected “and” to “ANF” bc of twdg..... it also sometimes changes it to “AMD” bc I work in technology. My Phone Knows My Interests Are More Important To Me Than One Of The Main Parts Of Speech. Iconic)YESSSS they’re just SO GOOD there’s so much to articulate!

nozomijoestarToday at 1:55 AM

She was his Queen, and god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:55 AM

JDBDHE SHIT THE FUCK IP DKDBEBDJFBBD

nozomijoestarToday at 1:56 AM

Buy my silence $8000 a month

[vetyr]

do you have an idea of a checklist for learning how to create digital art? like i know practice is essential, but i don't really know where to start or where to go from there. thanks so much xox

I think I can toss some stuff out here that might be of use.  Assuming an artist learning digital art starts from the beginning–owning a tablet & drawing program but not knowing how to use them–here’s an inconveniently long list of stuff that could help them.

TL;DR: 1, mess around till you’re used to drawing digitally. 2, study and create ad infinitum. 3, a bunch of tips that are pretty hard to TLDR so you should probably just go over em.  Step 2 is basically what you asked me NOT to tell you (“practice”!), but unfortunately it’s all I know how to do :,(

1) If you own a tablet that you plug into your computer (i.e., you don’t draw directly on the screen), feel free to spend a few weeks or even a month+ just getting used to it.  When you first start out, it’s really freaky drawing in one place and seeing things appear somewhere else, but trust me in that you won’t even notice the disconnect after a few months of consistent digital drawing.  I’ve been painting digitally for about 2 years now, and it’s actually slightly easier for me to draw digitally than traditionally.  [If you have a cintiq, or you use an iPad with Procreate, or something similar, then you probably don’t have to spend as much time in step 1.]

Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how good you were with traditional drawing when you start digital; the mental disconnect you have will make it very difficult to think about proportions, values, edges, colors, etc.  You’ll probably notice yourself making mistakes that you wouldn’t normally make on paper.  Don’t worry about them, just keep drawing as you usually would.  Digital you will catch up to traditional you in time.  

For now, get used to blending colors, drawing somewhat steady lines that go in the correct direction, and fooling around with brushes and brush settings.  If you come across a brush that you like (easy to work with + pleasing results), it may help to stick with it as you continue to learn.  Digital doodles and sketches are good for this stage; though try to keep doing traditional work so your base art skills don’t atrophy.  

If you’re just starting out with Photoshop or Sai or Krita or whatever software you’re using, you’re gonna be intimidated by all the funky buttons and settings that you first see.  If it makes you feel any better, I use maybe 0.1% of the tools that Photoshop offers me.  When you start, all you need to worry about is the brush tool and control-z, maybe the eraser too.

2) Do studies as well as pieces from imagination.  You can move into step 2 as early as you please; you don’t have to wait until you think you’ve become “skillful” at digital drawing (in fact, this step is what will probably help you become the most comfortable with digital).  It’s alright if your colors are icky looking and your values are off (tip, occasionally turn the saturation of your drawing to 0 to check the values), because as long as you keep studying reality and appealing art & continually learn from your mistakes, you’ll get better. 

Always remember to study or at least appreciate the qualities of art you enjoy.  It’s the same thing that people always tell writers–you have to read a lot to write well.  You probably shouldn’t shield yourself from the influence of other artists; while you may think that this action would help you develop artistically in the manner most true to yourself, in reality the vast majority of the process of learning art will be honing in on what you find visually pleasant so that you may, in turn, express your artistic taste in your work.  If you look at other people’s art, you can pick out tiny aspects of it that you like and incorporate that into your style.  It’s a bit trickier to build a style without the “help” of other artists, though you can always turn to nature for help. On that note, I also recommend referencing nature as much as you can, because we as human beings are sort of wired to find natural designs, colors, and structures beautiful.  Look at nature for the universally beautiful, and look at art for the subjectively beautiful (i.e., enjoyed uniquely by you).

If you find yourself getting burnt out pretty quickly, then just paint/draw simple and small things for period of half an hour to 1 ½ hours a day (and switch back to traditional).  You can spend this time mapping out proportions, creating thumbnails of values/colors, drawing linework, or whatever.  Add complexity to your pieces as the months go by, and if you already have a decent foundation in drawing aim to create somewhat finished pieces after maybe four months to a year.  Please note that the second part of that sentence was something I completely made up out of my head, because I’m trying to quantify pretty unquantifiable concepts such as a “decent foundation in drawing” and a “somewhat finished” piece of art.  If you find it unrealistic, or just too easy of a goal, disregard it entirely.  It can take you half a decade to learn to make finished digital art, or you can get it down in a couple months.

3) Fun fact, there’s not really a step 3 as you stay in 2 forever, always studying and creating.  But there’s a few other things about digital art that you ought to know, so here they are:

• If your computer doesn’t make a fuss about it, I’d recommend working on a decently large canvas (at least 3000 by 3000; I personally prefer 6000 by 6000). You’ll get less defined edges and colors if you go below 1000 by 1000, from my experience.

• If you have a tablet with pressure sensitivity (you probably should otherwise digital painting is kinda hellish), go to your brush settings and set ‘transfer’ to ‘pen pressure.’  This is what makes it possible to blend.  

• If you’re having trouble matching colors while studying, you can always color pick the ref (in photoshop: bring the pic into PS and use the eye dropper tool) and compare its colors to your colors.  Some people add too much red to their skin tones, some people draw their highlights with overly desaturated colors, some people make trees and grass in their landscapes too green; whatever the case, take note of and correct errors that you consistently make.  

• Get used to using the transform/warp/liquify tools (liquify is technically a filter but you get what I mean).  They’re lifesavers for fixing proportion mistakes that you’ve only noticed 8 hours into a piece. 

• Give layers a shot.  I only work on one layer, but I’ve heard from people who divide their piece up into multiple layers that they’re damn useful (until you draw on the wrong one). 

• Flip your canvas horizontally every once in a while to make sure stuff hasn’t gone awry. 

• Screw around with color modes; they can do some really fancy things that are difficult to duplicate with normal digital painting, let alone traditional.  On the topic of colors, don’t be afraid to use somewhat desaturated colors (near the center of the color picker square in PS). There are some very aesthetically pleasing color combinations that you can make out of somewhat dulled colors.

• If you’re using PS, bind ‘step backward’ to control Z, not ‘undo.’  This is under keyboard shortcuts.  Set up a bunch of shortcuts that are the most convenient for you–personally, I only keep my left hand near the lower left region of my keyboard (my right hand is away from the keyboard and off to the right, drawing on the tablet), so I have all of my necessary shortcuts in that area.

This was a bit longer than I expected, but I figure that someone out there can get something out of it.  Cheers to you, if you do.

[yoolee]

(1/3) I don't ever interact much on Tumblr, but I wanted - no, NEEDED - to express how much I adore your Saizo fics, and by extension your other SLBP drabbles. The epilogue to 'Stay' took my breath away. I am in awe at how perfectly you write Saizo, how easily you capture his voice. I squealed throughout every story because his affection and adoration for MC is so apparent yet subtle beneath your prose. 'Little One' is a personal fav for its tenderness, 'Stay' is a tour de force and...

AKoaDK, while hot, just amazes me for how loving the whole scenario is. Every fic you’ve written is just so on point with character, voice and detail that I wish you wrote for the app itself. If you don’t mind a question– do ideas for stories/drabbles come easily to you? And is the actual writing mostly a breeze or a struggle Regardless, please know that you’ve got a very eager fan who thinks you’re awesome and will read anything you write (especially if it’s Saizo 😍). Keep on doing what you do, girl. PS: for real THANK YOU for an amazing epilogue to ‘Stay’. My heart could not handle being broken into so many pieces with the original ending. Still loved it but everywhere hurt afterwards… 😭💖

Oh my goodness ;.; I REALLY HOPE you don’t mind me posting this instead of responding privately! If you’d rather me take it down, I will repost as a text with it anonymous.

I have read this like five times because it genuinely mademe tear up ;.; god I don’t have words. Thank you. I have so many feelings aboutSaizo in particular and about HIS feelings and I am so damn glad they are getting across because I wouldn’t have themif the original authors of the app weren’t so good at what they do and so if Ihave come in any way close to evoking the same thing I am thrilled. I AM ESPECIALLY happy to see you say that about AKoaDK becausethat’s how I feel too - I know it’s smut and I know it’s exciting and all thatbut it’s an expression of love and that’s so important. That’s the MOSTimportant. I’m a romantic sap y'all.That’s why I love SLBP so much. There’s so much depth and passion to play with,and it isn’t just the love story,it’s these rich and wonderful characters with rich and complex lives and their love in turn is rich and complex and layered with so much energy and so many moments and I justlove it, those moments, and I want to share my love of them and have MORE of them so I try and make them and knowing that I am doing so justsatisfies this craving in my heart  and is the most satisfying and wonderful thing to hear ;.; SO YES. MY GOD, THANK YOU. All my love

And for your question! They do and they don’t! Once I havean idea, the actual writing of it flies by. As often as not, it’s actually really hard to capture my thoughtsquickly enough, so I write out of order, because if I think of something I feel‘fits’ I have to quick scramble to write it down, and then I come back laterand figure out how everything connects. I tend to write ‘out’ from the center–90%of the time I have NO idea where I’m going with something. I have one, keycentral point, and I start there and it comes as I go and I hop chaotically aroundto whichever point pops into my head next. It seems to work for me? I call ‘emmy snowball moments. Like, with Waffle Cottage, it started as three-sentencething, and I posted it, and @mai-dreaming built on it, and the 'snowballmoment’ was imagining Shingen charming one of the princesses out of her dress,because that freed up the dress to go on the MC, and it exploded from there.And even then, to give an example, the Kenshin bits of the Waffle CottageChronicles were some of the last bits written, and Stay was written completely out of order, with bits addedback in on my first re-read when I noticed certain characters hadn’t appearedwho needed to, and I used them to reinforce ideas that were going to come laterthat I’d already written. I DID write it all at one time, in one long computer session, but just not in order. 99% of what I write is done in one fell swoop, MAYBE two because sometimes I have to go to work snrk. BUT it is also why I lean so heavily on @juniperotomewho is amazing and gives me legit and thorough feedback, recommendations and ideas and helps make my ramblings alittle more clear for an audience/reader who doesn’t have the benefit of beinginside my brain to know what I meant. She is an amazing editor and catches somany things and gives me so many key phrases and moments and helps me tone downand clarify things.  NOT AN EASY TASK. 

But, I have no discipline. If the inspiration isn’t there, I got nothing. I have twooutstanding fic requests from my giveaway months ago and trust me I sit overhere in SHAME because I want to write them, and I just need to sit down and doit, but I haven’t found my 'snowball moments’ to write out from yet. I keepevery prompt sent to me, because I am always hoping the snowball moment willhit, but I make zero progress untilit does and sometimes it takes awhile and sometimes it may not come. Whichreally means I just need to make some up and try them - the act of writinginspires more writing, which is what happens with some of my headcanon posts.If I start with the 'easy’ ones, the ones that are harder for me to write comea little more easily once I’m in writing mode.  I have this ridiculous sense of obligation toinclude everyone once I’ve started XD but some are much easier than others; Istruggle with Yasu, in part because he IS one of my favorites, but you have topick like which one of him you’re writing, boy goes through a couple variations@.@ and I also struggle with Kojuro because he’s just too organized and calm,you can’t just randomly plonk into ridiculous shenanigans like you can withYukimura and, as established, I am impulsiveso characters that require planning don’t come as easily. I deal best inridiculousness.

I re-edit everything becauseI typically don’t re-read my shorter stuff until like a week after it’s posted,and then I edit like fifty things. I’ve already edited the Stay epilogue threetimes and I only posted it yesterday XD I wish I could just get it spot on thefirst time but I’m too impatient, but every time I re-read something I’m like'that phrase is ugly let’s fix it’ or 'I’m gonna add ALL the sentences here’ (Iam a comma and parenthesis abuser, I sprinkle them everywhere for decoration -I write like I talk) and that’s where my impatience in the typing babble stream comes back to haunt me. 

I LOVE slice of life. I love the romance and everything too,but I love the idea of this world and these characters so I really enjoywriting all of the ridiculous little moments I imagine happen in their day-to-daylives. I think it makes them more real! Which is why I love things like AU Sasukebeing the first one up clamoring for pancakes and Shigezane cracking dad jokes whilehe and the MC hide in a in the enemy’s linen closet ('Man I really feel likewe’ve been hung out to dry, huh MC?Huh, huh?’) and Ieyasu on babysitting duty once Nobu procreates having conversations with this putrid,squalling creature who has just eaten his strawberries. I’m big on happyendings, too. I am glad my one foray into angst has been well received and I amtruly proud of that, but I invariably have to find some way to sneak some hopeinto all things XD

That is a hella long answer.I like to talk about myself SORRY!

And thank you so much! I was sitting here thinking 'wow, mynext post will be my 200th on this blog what should it be’ and I was going togo with a like a very off-topic gif of a kid hugging a chicken and then I gotthis BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL ask and I sat here kind of weepy and sniffly for abit, so thank you thank you thank you.