#procrastinator ik

[uselessbard1031]

UselessBard1031 101

A user on Ao3 just asked me what I'm like and I realized that after these few years a few of you might like to know as well. So, I replied there and I'll repost the response here.

If any of you ever have questions about me or my stories dm me, comment! :) I really love hearing from you <3

***

"Hello!

I will start off by saying I do recognize your user name. It's still so crazy to me that I have readers who have followed me that long.

As for your query, I'm not sure what you'd like to know, so I suppose I'll just offer up a UselessBard 101, lol.

I am in my 20s, I have blue eyes and blonde curly hair; I'm 5'5 and 125ish pounds with tattoos all down my arms and an extra special top secret tattoo only very special ladies and actors sharing a changing room with me get to see ;) (my Tumblr pfp is pretty much me lol). I was going to do a face reveal during livestreaming but, as I've mentioned in some author notes, I'm starting a Cruise Ship job this month so I won't be able to do so, unfortunately. (But never say never!)

As for hobbies, I write, act (currently I work as a scare actor at a haunted house), bake, crochet, sew, do martial arts (Marcaida Kali, Krav Maga, Haitian Grappling, Mhuy Tai, Boxing, Ju Jitsu, Judo, Taekwondo, Kendo, and bits of others), I do yoga everyday along with meditation, and I love love love to read (currently reading Later by Stephen King and the Pali Canon).

My favorite color is red, specifically Crayola Crayon red, like, the color that comes out of the crayon labeled simply red. My favorite food is a garbage plate (though I'm a vegetarian and Rochester Meat Hot Sauce is a must on any plate so I just cry instead of indulging lol). My favorite book is a tie between both books in the Parker and Pentecost series by Steven Spotswood (Stephen?) (Lillian Pentecost is another one of my fictional crushes because omgodddddd that woman <3) My favorite film is Bullet Train (yes that modern one; I just love it sm and relate to Ladybug on another level).

I've been writing since, well, forever. There was this thing at my elementary school called the 'friendship pole'. It was just an old tetherball pole they had taken the ball off of when parents decided tetherball was 'too dangerous' of a game for us kids. The concept being that if you were a friendless little child, you would go sit by the pole and someone would ask you to play. Well, I'd go there every recess and sit and wait and watch other kids get asked to play and never me. It was tricky then to get a swing or slide without being 'in' with whatever group had claimed them that day. So I started bringing a notebook. That's the first time I can really remember writing for fun. By the end of fifth grade I was finsihing my first 'novel' (I have no idea if it actually met the wordcount for a novel, it was just however long a composition notebook was).

The story was called 'BroadFire' and was about a girl from a horse farm who befriended a wild horse. she had named the thing BroadFire, hence the name. Anyway, I don't remember much other than that he father didn't approve for some reason -- I think he thought it was dangerous because it was wild -- so he sought to kill it. In the original ending he did kill Broadfire, but I know my mom yelled at me for that so I think I ended up changing it, though I can't recall what to. That proves then that my original ending was definitely the best, or at least the most memorable.

I guess that's me then. Um, other labels are Buddhist, Lesbian, German/Irish American. Not really sure what more to say, so I hope I've helped you know me a bit better. <3 :)"

[selfryed]

*gets football tackled and called a nerd and probably gets shoved into a locker*

oooo shinyyyyy

[daemon-in-my-head]

Good timezone fellow Durges, Durge Owners and Durgetash enjoyers. I hereby declare; yeah @aleksxo and I are actually gonna do that Bhaalspawn Championship bit, let's go

So, a bit of organisational stuff first:

THIS IS A 18+ EVENT. The game is officially 18+, and so is the community event for it. And well, considering we're throwing a bunch of cannibals into one tiny arena... Do be aware there's gonna be some 'spicy' topics (but no making out on the battlefield, that's what the lockers are for!)

Date: The event will start from August 5th onwards (so, a week after the Gortash week), the Discord Server and the Sign up however will open as soon as this post is published and will end on before then. That way we can set up matches and schedules in time.

Rules: The rulework used will be 5e and for the sake of fun and fair competition, some spells will be banned.

Place: The event will be hosted on a specifically created Discord Community Server and the matches themselves will take place in a VC, meaning; all Participants must be ready to use their voice aka talk while others may listen. Ofc, just spectators are welcome too. Otherwise what's the point of those pretty stages?

OCs: Custom Durges mandatory. No default Durges cuz it's hella immersion breaking. Please give him a moustache and a name if you want to play our fav white dragonboy.

Matchmaking: We aim to keep the Matchmaking as balanced and comfortable as possible, meaning participants of the same region and similar classes will be matched against each other where possible and all OCs will compete with lvl 20 stats, spells, spellslots, feats, yada yada. Depending on the amount of participants we may expand or decrease group sizes (we're literally gonna use Soccer championship rules for ranking).

Inexperienced TTRPG Players: will recieve support! We'll help ya figure stuff out and get ur character to work how u want.

Prizes: OC Art and an OC Oneshot provided to u by your hosts! (Unless...?)

Now for the work part of this thing: we're still headhunting! Specifically people that would like to assist us who are US based (Mods and DMs, cuz we're European and we like sleep actually). If there's any Europeans out here who wanna help tho... We're also looking for support there!

And last but not least, here's the Server link, the specific rules and announcements/orga updates will be posted there (here occasionally if its big stuff) and ofc the form to sign up is live there too!

As per usual, reblog, spread the word, the more the merrier and do feel free to drag ur friends along! If ya like, they'll even get to cheer you on as you fight for Daddy's attention!

Also here's the twitter version of the post if you'd like to spread the word... Cuz neither of the hosts has any presence there. A flaw in our brilliant plans I agree.

[softclay]

are ya winning son?

[steamworksid]

Vengeance route Flowey and Clover are so funny I love them

Based on this

[dryinkpens]

devil’s playhouse scene redraw timeeee

[achlyisdumb]

Was just messing around trying out new brushes lol

[starlos-hat]

more trans martlet. she has a question.

she's become a trans icon to me

[nxptoons]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS

[sorrcha]

made a quick visual of the BDFB life cycle for my experimental design class project. figured it looked nice enough to share here ^^

there's only four stages (egg -> larva -> pupa -> adult), but i decided to make the graphic with more detail bc it's relevant to my project :-)

[lasagnaprince]

what's Scary angriest about?

[chiyune]

my genshin persona !!!

[09lover]

“Gh?! What is this long.. list… Did they really think that leaving me milk and cookies would grant them whatever they wrote here—?

They’ve also left me a gift somewhere around the prison apparently.. okay.. still, just because I’m trying to be festive and I can grant requests does not mean that I— sigh..

This is unbelievable.. Jackalope, come look at this— Jackalope. … Jackalope? Where did he go..?”

: a very late christmas specials art.

[altruistic-meme]

i have decided to say fuck it, there is no "right" way to come out and if i keep waiting for the perfect moment it's never going to come. so. i'm sending my sister an email instead that she probably won't even see until tomorrow. i'm going to hit send right after hitting post. i am VERY anxious but that was always going to be the case. i know she'll be accepting, but i am fully coming out to her, name and pronouns and everything, and that's a whole other can of worms than her just sorta-kinda knowing i'm non-binary* :'))))))))

wish me luck anyway 👍

[eating-the-inedible]

ROUND ONE: Silicone wristbands vs. Human meat

Propaganda:

Silicone wristbands:

chewy. they are the best for oral stims and also have funky colors :3

they r so fun to chew. i had like a rainbow ish one i got from a pride event i love it sm

Human meat:

Go feral. Become a freak. Devolve. Return to your beastly nature. Kill. Maim.

I desperately want to consume it despite near certainly receiving some consequence for doing so

[ableedingpromise]

There r sooooo many games I wanna check out but I'd rather wait until I get a laptop instead of watching playthroughs!!