#procedurally generated shitpost

[cyberspacebear]

graydon but he's dysphoria posting

noo buddy it's ok

[dougielombax]

Procedurally generated village.

[cinema-hallucinations]

Prompt: Create a movie concept about Egyptian gods in the modern age committing financial fraud. Of course they're doing this via Pyramid Schemes. Much of the comedy comes from constantly teasing viewers by making the characters use the words "pyramid" (mostly about literally building or buying them in this case) and "scheme" but never together until the groan-worthy pun at the climactic ending.

Gods of the Gilded Triangle

Logline: Bored with the slow pace of divine influence in the 21st century, a cabal of disgruntled Egyptian gods, led by the ambitious Set, concocts a series of elaborate "Pyramid" investment opportunities, leading to divine levels of financial fraud and a whole lot of earthly chaos.

Tagline: Of course it's a pyramid. What did you expect?

Characters:

Set: The ambitious and cunning god of chaos, now a slick, fast-talking businessman named "Mr. Seth." He's the mastermind behind the "Eternal Prosperity Initiative."

Bastet: The goddess of protection and cats, now a charismatic lifestyle guru named "Brenda." She heads the "Nine Lives Investment Circle," promising purr-fect returns.

Anubis: The jackal-headed god of the dead, now a surprisingly enthusiastic motivational speaker named "Jackal." His "Underworld Wealth System" guarantees eternal financial security (in the afterlife, maybe).

Thoth: The god of knowledge and wisdom, now a bewildered but easily swayed academic named "Professor Theo." He's responsible for the (highly dubious) mathematical models underpinning their ventures.

Detective Isabella "Izzy" Diaz: A sharp, no-nonsense financial crimes detective who starts noticing a bizarre pattern of unsustainable wealth generation linked to suspiciously Egyptian-sounding companies.

Plot Summary:

Tired of subtly influencing mortals, Set hatches a plan to amass real power in the modern world: cold, hard cash. He convinces Bastet, Anubis, and a somewhat reluctant Thoth that the most efficient way to achieve this is through the timeless business model of multi-level marketing – or as they prefer to call it, building "Pyramids" of wealth.

Their initial ventures involve selling "authentic" miniature pyramids (sourced from questionable eBay listings) as investment opportunities. Participants are promised exponential returns for recruiting others to buy their own "Pyramids." Bastet uses her feline charm to lure in cat enthusiasts, Anubis preys on anxieties about the afterlife, and Thoth provides convoluted, pseudo-scientific justifications for their unsustainable growth. Set, as "Mr. Seth," orchestrates the entire operation with ruthless efficiency.

Detective Izzy Diaz starts investigating a string of bizarre financial collapses, all linked by oddly specific Egyptian iconography and overly enthusiastic testimonials about "building your own Pyramid." She finds herself increasingly baffled by the sheer scale and absurdity of the operations, constantly hearing about people buying "Pyramids" and the incredible "schemes" they're involved in to recruit new members.

The comedy escalates as the gods struggle to adapt their ancient powers to the modern world. Bastet accidentally charms investors into buying literal pyramids of cat food, Anubis's attempts at intimidation result in existential crises for his downline, and Thoth keeps getting his ancient hieroglyphs confused with modern financial jargon.

As Izzy closes in, the gods plan a massive "Apex Summit" at a newly purchased (and suspiciously pyramid-shaped) convention center to celebrate their success and recruit the final layer of their structure. The climax sees Izzy confronting "Mr. Seth" just as he's about to unveil his ultimate "Pyramid" – a ludicrously large golden structure meant to symbolize their financial empire.

Just as Izzy is about to make the arrest, she lays out the evidence, the unsustainable growth, the countless victims, and finally, with a pointed look at the golden structure and the panicked gods, she declares, "This whole thing… it's nothing but a pyramid scheme!"

The gods, momentarily stunned by the mortal pun, try to magically escape, leading to a chaotic free-for-all involving bewildered investors, misplaced curses, and a lot of falling golden triangles.

Comedy Elements:

The Fish-Out-of-Water Gods: Watching ancient deities struggle with modern technology, business jargon, and the nuances of human greed.

The Literal vs. Figurative "Pyramid": The constant use of the word "pyramid" to refer to both physical structures and the MLM structure creates endless opportunities for comedic misunderstandings.

The Teased Pun: The deliberate avoidance of the phrase "pyramid scheme" until the very end will build anticipation and a satisfyingly groan-worthy payoff.

Divine Powers Gone Wrong: The gods' attempts to use their powers for financial gain often backfire in hilarious ways.

Themes:

Greed and Corruption: The film satirizes the allure of get-rich-quick schemes and the corrupting influence of money.

The Clash of Ancient and Modern: The humor comes from juxtaposing the gods' ancient worldview with the complexities of the modern world.

The Enduring Power of Mythology: Even in the 21st century, the gods find ways to exert their influence (albeit in a very different way).

Visual Style:

A vibrant and slightly cartoonish style, reflecting the comedic tone.

The gods will have modern attire with subtle nods to their ancient forms (e.g., Set with a slightly reddish tinge to his hair, Bastet with feline-like mannerisms).

The "Pyramids" themselves will range from cheap plastic trinkets to gaudy golden monstrosities.

"Gods of the Gilded Triangle" promises a unique and hilarious take on the spy comedy genre, blending ancient mythology with modern financial absurdity and delivering a pun so telegraphed it's practically hieroglyphic.

[pad-wubbo]

github.com/wubmush/randmon

Generates infinite hypothetical Pokémon as text descriptions, with types, abilities, unfitting "names", colours, stats and dex entries! Then you can perhaps try drawing the Pokémon you imagine from the text.

[less-dev]

We're making a Starbound/Terraria inspired space sandbox game!

We're making a 2D sandbox game similar to Starbound! Or uh, terraria in space.

#nodev contains shitposting

#planetarium contains dev progress

Specifics under the cut

Who are you?

Aspen - Project Lead, Programmer, Pixel artist, Sound Designer.

Hey! I'm Aspen, I've been programming and making games for many many years in basically every engine there is... But never felt the drive to finish one, until now! I consider myself very experienced in the engine we're using (Gamemaker Studio 2.5) and have confidence we'll be able to make this game a reality. I also run the Tumblr account, so assume it's me behind the wheel as a default. Thank you for checking the game out!

Alec - Concept artist, Character Designer

H a l l o I'm Alec, I like writing and drawing and painting and designing shiiiiiiiit. I adore world building and have frequent bursts of creative possession in which I conceive and birth the greatest ideas and concepts in a mere moment. Otherwise, I can be a total dumbass and completely useless. I'm good at colours 👌 I have been a 85% a home-brew DM for about 2 years now and that is the greatest proof of my ADHD-given God powers of creativity. Slay.

What a cool guy!

Design pillars

Immersion. Above all else, I would like roleplay (casual or serious) to be natural and well supported. I would like players to find engaging with the world, and it's characters to be very personal.

Innovation. Tropes such as "You spawn in a green forest and can walk left or right" will be actively avoided. Biomes will have generation that presents more unique movement opportunities. Such as geysers in rock pools launching players high up, or giant twisting vines that hold up chunks of land to hop between.

More quality less quantity. Planets will be significantly more content-dense than Starbound, and perhaps controversially travel between them will be more difficult/expensive as well. This would encourage players to take advantage of all the resources presented on each planet, instead of hopping from one to the next. This would also encourage us throughout development to give each planet as much love as possible. Each planet should feel like a 'miniature terraria world'. Though actually achieving that is easier said than done.

Meaningful content. Procedurally generating creatures from 100 different pre-set monster parts could technically produce limitless alien creatures for players to encounter. But in both No Man's Sky and Starbound. I find this novelty to wear off quick, these creatures are not manually, meaningfully crafted and beyond an unusual appearance and some shallow gameplay changes... They do not create much of a memorable experience for the player. In my opinion, anyway. I would rather hand-craft every creature and make them all significantly unique and interesting. That's not to say procedurally generated creatures won't ever have a place in the game, but they certainly wont be as prevalent as others games.

Okay well... What's finished?

Fundamental lighting shaders akin to Starbound.

Some world generation brushes and basic commands.

A text mark-up language (heavily optimised), and game chat.

Extensive custom debugging tools

Hard and soft-loading of chunks to save on as much memory and CPU usage as possible.

Complete unloading, and compression of chunks on top of the previously mentioned system. As well as a live-saving system.

Setting, Story baseline, and conceptualization of the first 3 playable species. Each species will have a different starting planet, and immediately different playthrough.

Designs and cultures of several additional unplayable races.

Character proportion tests, sprites and sketches.

First-pass on collision functions.

Weighted Tile variance and tile connections.

CONCERNS

Multiplayer. While I have made an online multiplayer game before and it's definitely doable for this game, it would require some practice in a one-off test game to be fully confident. It would also take a LOT of time.

Modding. As far as I know gamemaker games are notoriously difficult for players to modify. Something like Unity is far easier even without mod support. Gamemaker on the other hand is difficult even if I want to design systems in favor of modders. This is kind of a problem for later, I have faith there'll be something we can do to make it work... But a cursory look says it won't be easy. I would be extremely disappointed if there was nothing we could do.

[ivycrowned]

hello! i saw your post about terry pratchett being very comforting even while the world burns and it really spoke to me. (um i saw the post here--ivycrowned/737425041001709568/the-older-i-get-and-the-more-on-fire-the-world) i'm sorry to disturb you, and please feel free to ignore, i wouldn't want to impose, but i was wondering if you'd have any Discworld book recommendation for someone who has never read one. i'm always staring at them in the bookstore, but i always overthink which book to get (because it will be my first) and online articles rank Discworld books differently. i'd be so thankful if you do answer. thank you and have a great day :)

Oh I'm super happy to help with that! In a lot of ways, which Discworld book you read first depends on what you find most interesting! I'll fully admit though, the very first one I read was 'Hogfather' which is neither a stand alone, nor the 'first' in a series. So here are a few reccs for what I think would be good places to start!

Wyrd Sisters -- The start of the Witches series, which is one of my favorites! This is Hamlet in Discworld. There's a particular scene involving Death that actually made me cry with laughter. This book is ALSO the source of something you may have seen in tumblr shitposts -- '"Come hither, fool!' / The fool jangled miserably across the floor'.

Mort -- The first book in the 'Death' series, my beloved series. A young man becomes Death's apprentice. The 'Death' series in general tends to have the theme of a 'Death' who loves humans and wants to be more like them, but fundamentally does not really understand how.

Monstrous Regiment -- This one is a stand alone book! No series attached! A young woman pretends to be a man in order to join the army, so she can find her brother! Only to discover she's not the only one in her regiment pretending to be a man.

Guards! Guards! -- The first book in the 'Night Watch' series, and generally where most people suggest you start. It's about a dragon, and it's a bit of a police procedural! All the Night Watch books are more or less in the police procedural genre. I've only read the first two in this series.

I hope one of these works for you! And good luck on your journey! Discworld is a lot of fun, and has some pretty good audiobooks, and even a couple of film (live action, and animated) adaptations!

(You can find 'Hogfather' in its entirety for free on YouTube last time I checked!)

[firespirited]

2024 wrap up:

Music (tagged/music for more).

Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral. I've loved a couple of singles for decades but had never listened to the full work. I happened to do so about a week before my own mental break and parts if it carried me like a teeny tiny life ring.

Afterwards, I really enjoyed Iximusic's very thorough dissection of the motifs and samples.

Songs:

Roxy Music- Take a chance with me (for that bass)

Kelis - Forever Be (Hyper remix) (for that euphoric trance y2k style)

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

TV:

DEVS by Alex Garland. Prestige TV in every sense.

Star Trek Lower Decks: this got to the heart of what Star Trek is about while being silly with it.

Procedural TV that's not terrible: Brilliant Minds

Twin Peaks/The Return: just watch it. watch every excruciatingly silly or slow moment. it's a story worth absorbing until Laura is in your veins. Highly recommend Maggie May Fish's video essays about them.

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Film

Event Horizon: This hell cathedral is also a possessed space ship?! YES! This has some of the best character intros and practical effects I've ever seen (it's also very schlocky) - I loved it and watched it three times in a row.

Nope: A heist movie with psychodrama and aliens and siblings. 10/10

The Menu, Femme, A Different Man and The Substance were fantastic slaps in the face.

Wicked was the blockbuster technicolour fun we've all been craving. Dune was the blockbuster technicolour tragedy we've all been craving.

This was a year where I pushed myself to catch up on several classics that technically you already 'know' and are already spoiled for because they're part of the cultural zeitgeist but worth the watch anyway: Carrie, The Fly, Dead Ringers, Midsommar...

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Other:

Whistlindiesel destroying a cybertruck - schadenfreude at its best

shitposting about Dune and Interview with a vampire characters was top tier on tumblr this year.

watching Belphegor the kitten survive and grow up

Pale Fire by Nabokov, just the poem. on genius.com

Dolls: VIP pets hybrids, Rainbow High customs, everyone making Barbie into what Mattel won't actually make.

Doll of the year: Monique Verbena

Squicks/hateration: Taylor Swift: insulting. Voting discourse/posting as praxis/dunking on conservatives: cringe, eurovision: spineless, dollette: barely veiled thinspo, horror that doesn't deliver on gender bending beyond transphobic shock value: worthless.

@TheLeftistCooks, started out 2024 thinking they were insufferable and now love them both.

Red Letter Media: I hated their star wars reviews and general gimmicks but they clearly love cinema and stories.

People making power banks from thrown away vape batteries.

The Rise and fall and rise and fall of X

webcurios.co.uk & garbageday.email

new SSD instead of HDD was a stupendous time saver.

fibre internet meant I could reliably upload pictures and even video.

°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°*~*°

Wish list for 2025

watch The Shining, Oddity, Good One, Raw, Suspiria (both), Let the right one in.

learn to root microbraids without smashing the braid

read Judith Butler's work on war

rewatch Made For Love (tv)

no dolls in particular (unless MGA decide to do fantasy skin tones again)

a proper coat

finish the witches books from Pratchett's Discworld

adopt a dog

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

it’s because colorism/general racism/white supremacy shit says that brown eyes are dirty and unclean while blue eyes are pure and beautiful. we have brown eyes and we’ve always felt insecure about them because of this. on a simular note, people always say blue eyes are scary while brown eyes are sweet and doelike. no our eyes are scary too because we just stare directly at people -tf2heritageposts

oh no absolutely I get that there's a racist societal aspect to it, but for a procedure that is really dangerous and doesn't even seem to give reliably good results it just doesn't seem worth it. especially when all of the risks are like you will just straight up loose your vision

but it was ultimately a two second shitpost lol

[sburbian-sage]

I managed to make the Art Attack from Terraria's Calamity mod, and the way that weapon works in that game is that you draw a shape with your mouse cursor, and anything inside the shape gets hurt.

But in Sburb, you don't really have a mouse cursor. So instead, using it causes this disorienting as fuck out-of-body experience, where you view yourself from a huge distance, and the world as if it were a 2-d plane, with even distant enemies and players shoved forward to look like they're in the foreground, and it draws wherever you focus while that's happening.

Kinda neat. Can hit things that are really far away with it, and that weird visual viewpoint lets me see lit areas below and above me, which I was able to use in a dungeon once to find a secret room.

So, two questions for you:

1: Are there any other uses for it that I'm not thinking of?

2: What other examples have you heard of Sburb translating weird mechanics like that into reality?

Scouting seems to be the main thing I would use this for. Especially because this apparently lets you view things through walls? Good for sneaking as well, peering around corners. Be careful though, I can only imagine something sideways happens, your perspective clips through (or into) a wall, and you either see something you shouldn't have or just begin throwing up.

I honestly think dicekind is my go-to example of "weird translation of mechanics". First of all it isn't even "roll to perform action" or "roll to see damage number" like what most people think of when they think RPG dice-rolling, it's "roll on a table". And then it seems like the table is in some way procedurally generated, seeing as how it alters itself based on dice size, dice number, and it factors in alchemy. And the procedurally generated tables were alternately written by a Killer GM, a Monty Haul GM, and a shitposter. I don't fully understand it, I don't want to understand it, and everyone who's tried cracking the code ends up having their brain broken with alarming frequency. It's like an occupational hazard, like hatters also going insane, or mine field testers not having legs. I also don't like thinking about cardkind when it comes to competitive/collectible card games because it's exactly the same, except I don't even understand CCGs when they're not magical.

[cinema-hallucinations]

Prompt: create a movie about a detective with a strange ability. When wearing someone's belonging, they can gain relevant glimpses of knowledge about their past. Mix the drama of crime solving with the occasional comedic effects of having to wear wildly inappropriate or merely uncomfortable clothes (such as a leather bondage hood or high-heel shoes). Not to mention tensions with colleagues and DAs with reasonable concerns about evidence tampering or contamination.

Tagline: What do your clothes say about you?

Worn Memories

Logline: A detective with the uncanny ability to access memories by wearing objects discovers a string of seemingly unrelated murders connected by a single, elusive clue. As he delves deeper into the cases, he must navigate the challenges of his unique gift while uncovering a sinister conspiracy.

Characters:

Detective Randy Kirkendall (30s): A brilliant but unconventional detective with a mysterious ability. He can gain insights into a person's past by wearing their belongings.

Dr. Pam Ballard (50s): A renowned forensic psychologist who studies the human mind and its relationship with objects. She becomes Randy's mentor and helps him understand his unique gift.

Captain Jason Folkus (40s): Alex's skeptical and no-nonsense boss. He initially doubts Alex's methods but gradually comes to appreciate his unique abilities.

The Killer: A shadowy figure with a complex motive and a penchant for leaving behind cryptic clues.

Plot Summary:

Detective Randy Kirkendall is investigating a series of seemingly unrelated murders. The victims have no connection, and the crime scenes offer few clues. Desperate for answers, Randy begins to experiment with his unusual ability. He discovers that by wearing a victim's clothing, he can gain insights into their final moments. Shoes reveal their movements, hats and wigs provide clues about their whereabouts, and glasses offer a visual perspective.

As Randy delves deeper into the cases, he uncovers a disturbing pattern. The victims are all connected to a secretive organization involved in illegal activities. The killer is leaving behind cryptic clues, using the victims' belongings to taunt Randy and the police.

Randy must navigate the challenges of his unique gift, often finding himself in uncomfortable or even dangerous situations. He wears a leather bondage hood to gain insights into a victim's final moments, only to be mistaken for a fetish enthusiast. He stumbles through a crime scene wearing high heels, drawing curious glances from his colleagues.

Despite the challenges, Randy's unconventional methods prove invaluable. He uses his ability to piece together the killer's identity, unraveling a complex web of lies and deception. The climax involves a tense confrontation with the killer, where Alex must use his unique gift to outsmart the villain and bring them to justice.

Themes:

The power of objects: The film explores the idea that objects can hold memories and emotions, providing a unique perspective on the past.

The dangers of incomplete information: Randy's ability can sometimes provide misleading information, leading to hilarious misunderstandings and costly dead ends.

The dangers of obsession: The killer's obsession with leaving behind cryptic clues becomes a central theme, showing the destructive power of obsession.

Ending:

Randy successfully apprehends the killer, using his unique gift to uncover their identity and motives. The case becomes a landmark in forensic science, demonstrating the potential of unconventional methods. However, Randy's experience leaves him changed, forever aware of the hidden stories that can be found within everyday objects.

[yuzu-adagio]

Howdy folks!

I suspect I'm not coming back here, I'm not hearing good things about what management has been up to in my absence :\ Bluesky is the best place to keep up with me, other than my discord. Cohost is my secondary these days. Twitch remains my main streaming platform. Bums me the frick out, I loved this place and have a lot of history with it. To my friends I might not see elsewhere, it's been fun <3

I am Yuzu Adagio, an easygoing capybara vtuber. I tend to play retro and indy games. I like games that are complicated, cute, turn-based, weeby, procedurally generated, deckbuilder, roguelite, RPG, or queer. I shy away from horror and public lobby multiplayer. My vibes range from quiet and chill to moderate gremlin, depending mostly on what I'm up to. She🏳️‍⚧️they.

Under the cut: Links, sideblogs, personal tags, credits

Models: Honey Kudzu

Art, png: @rhodo

pfp: Linkitin

Emotes: AzureOwlStudio, @gasexplosionatthescalpelfactory , self

This account stays mostly on brand: Stuff about me, vtubers, capybaras, games I'm currently playing, friends' content @lemon-presto: Fandom stuff, shitposts, other assorted mostly-fun stuff @durian-agitato: Serious or darker or heavier or more controversial stuff (like politics and human rights)

Common tags include #adaginfo: Announcements #doodledagio: My MS Paint paint.net trackpad endeavors #yuzu moments: Clips #this should be tagged as something: seems kinda vaguely trigger-y but I can't figure out a good descriptor

[howtofightwrite]

Hi! My MCs are two teen siblings who live in a fictional town in New Jersey. I want them to be like amateur private investigators who get evidence and compile files and send them to the police or something? (Everything they do to get info about crimes would be legal even though they don't have a licence.)

That's not how this works. So, I'm going to point something out first, this is a fundamental defect for most of the Armchair Detective Mystery sub-genre. So, nearly every PI story, and the vast majority of mystery lit runs afoul of these issues. It also leads into the the humorous Murder She Wrote Serial Killer Theory, which, if you're unfamiliar, is a brilliant bit of shitposting.

Mucking around in a criminal investigation is (generally speaking) illegal. This may not, technically, be obstruction of justice, though, that's the most likely charge. In New Jersey, you're guilty of obstruction of justice if you “obstruct, impair, or pervert the administration of law... ...by means of any independently unlawful act.” In your specific example, that's the theft of evidence (probably, technically, “theft of movable property.”) It doesn't matter (as much) that they handed it over to the police after the fact, it's that they took it in the first place. Additionally, breaking and entering (formally identified as burglary under NJ law) is another, “unlawful act,” if your characters gain access to the crime scene via stealth. (Also, a conviction burglary is one of the crimes that will permanently bar someone from getting a PI license in New Jersey.)

The reason this matters is a little more complicated. It comes down to the chain of custody, so, I'm going to step back and explain the fundamental discrepancy between the mystery genre and reality.

In a mystery novel, the job of the investigator is to unravel the puzzle of events that lead to the original crime, and then use that information to identify the perpetrator.

In the real world, the job of a criminal investigator is to collect irrefutable proof of what happened (somewhat obviously this isn't always the case), and hand that over to the prosecutor. Fictional examples of this are the police procedural, which is a distinct genre from mysteries.

This is where that cliché tension you'll find a lot of police/detective thrillers kicks in. It really isn't enough to, “catch someone,” you need to have the evidence to prove the perpetrator was responsible, and that evidence needs to be admissible in court. (Meaning, it can be used.)

The chain of custody is a log of everyone who interacted with a piece of evidence from the time it was first discovered until the trial. This is very important for establishing that a piece of evidence was not tampered with. If the prosecutor is unable to prove that the evidence is in an unaltered state, then it's very possible the defense will be able to exclude it. At that point, if the evidence was critical to a thread of the investigation, that entire thread may be excluded. For instance, if a murder weapon is excluded, and that weapon lead to the search of the defendant's home, anything recovered in that search may be excluded as well.

Somewhat obviously, if a piece of evidence passes through the hands of an amateur teenage investigator, that's going to seriously undermine its credibility. “So you're telling me, that an entire investigation team couldn't find the murder weapon in the victim's apartment, but a couple highschoolers broke in and found it in five minutes?” This is also ignoring that it can be very easy for an amateur to accidentally destroy evidence. For example, when they found the murder weapon and picked it up, the exact position of the weapon was lost (which can be vitally important evidence), and it's very likely they will smudge or destroy prints on the weapon. Further, even if they hand it over to the police, any resulting search warrant, and evidence collected, would be vulnerable, because the piece of evidence that pointed the police in that direction would be in question. (Now, in reality, it wouldn't be quite this clear cut. And, there are concepts such as, “inevitable discovery,” that can potentially protect elements of the investigation.)

If you remember back to last week's post, I mentioned that the best way to frame yourself is to investigate the crime you're accused of, and ironically, this creates a similar situation. Your characters are breaking into crime scenes, and in the process leaving behind forensic evidence of their presences (something which is likely to be discovered.) In some cases, where they've been on the premises before, that may be excusable, but if it's someplace that they don't frequent, or if they accidentally alter the scene in a way that indicates they were there (such as getting blood spatter on their shoes), they can quickly become suspects. If they suddenly show up in the police station with the murder weapon, that would be pretty suspicious, and if they tried to be clever (such as by anonymously mailing the weapon to the police), that's going to cause the police to burn time and resources hunting them down. (Ironically, diverting police resources like this is a crime in its own right, though I'm not sure what the formal name is under New Jersey law.)

Ironically, simply the act of investigating a crime is a pretty good way to become a suspect, unless you have a good reason (such as being an insurance investigator, or a licensed PI hired by a lawyer after an indictment has been handed down), and even in those cases, they're going to be working with the police, and reviewing their work, rather than doing things like poking around crime scenes without supervision. (Worth knowing that a PI might actually poke around the crime scene in person, but, it wouldn't be via breaking in. Again, if convicted of burglary, it would permanently cost them their license.)

Also, worth noting that New Jersey uses the same license for both private detective agencies and security guard services, and the law is written from the perspective that a company may be doing both. Additionally, employees are licensed under their employer's license. In this specific case, if the investigator did something that would cost them their license, that would only apply to that employee, not their employer.

Another issue for the amateur investigator is, they (basically) never have access to a lot of the critical evidence. One of the most important pieces of evidence in a murder investigation is the corpse itself. Forensic evidence can establish critical information, such as time and method of death. However, your amateur investigator has neither the technical capability, nor the necessary access to the corpse to conduct an autopsy, and, as discussed above, wouldn't be able to provide credible evidence to the police (unless, of course, they were the coroner assigned to that dead body, in which case, they should have a pretty solid grasp of why you wouldn't want to get into an illegal investigation.)

So, is any of this a problem for a mystery novel? No, not really. Mysteries, as a genre, aren't particularly interested in the reality of criminal investigations. Crime thrillers tend to view these issues as minor annoyances. Well written procedurals tend to pay attention to these elements, and try to draw their drama from the intricacies of the system, while poorly researched procedurals tend to leak back over into using all the clichés from thrillers.

Mysteries are a formulaic genre. That's not a defect, but it is critically important to remember when you sit down to write one.

This leads back to that glorious shitpost. No, Murder She Wrote (1984-1996) was not about a serial killer who gaslights random people into in confessing that they murdered her victims. However, it is a hilariously credible explanation for how Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) proceeded to investigate over 250 murders in her spare time. However, this is a consistent issue with a lot of serial armchair detectives, where, over time, the intended premise becomes more absurd than the idea that they really are the common thread between the killings.

So, can your teenagers investigate crimes in New Jersey without breaking the law? No. But, if you're wanting to write mysteries investigated by a pair of New Jersey teens, that doesn't really matter. Reality is something that is only tangentially relevant to the genre.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get early access to new posts, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[hyperbolicreverie]

If you’re still doing the fanfiction writing asks, 22 and 25 please!

Absolutely! Ask away!

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Almost entirely after they've been written and even edited. They are usually the last thing I come up with, and I pull from all sorts of places. I've used song lyrics, such as in the case of "Hear My Words That I Might Teach You," "Blessed Be" came directly from religious traditions and was a good reference to the fic concept in general, "From Your Lips To the (False) God's Ears" was a twisting of a common idiom, "All Points East" a reference to a way of indicating travel direction, and so on.

I do name every fic right at the outset with a bit of a shitpost title just to illustrate the general vibe I'm going for, though. For example, in order, all the fics listed above were previously known as:

Doflamingo Experiences a Well-Deserved Haunting(?)

West Blue Marine has Unwanted Religious Experience Outside Auction House

Tiny Gremlin Child Grills Bird Dad About Accents and Has Thoughts About Speaking a Now-Dead Language

Contrary to Popular Belief, Eastern Sea not Weak

...and so on. I save them even after the fic is published, because they make me laugh. 25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Ahahaha well, not editing. Editing makes me paranoid. It's extremely important and I refuse to not do it but this is why I didn't get a job doing it.

I am also, to put it mildly, a shit outliner. Most of my fics are written out-of-order, as I throw down whichever scene into words that my brain feels like focusing on at the time in the interest of actually getting the words out of my head. I have a multi-chapter fic planned that is going to need an outline and I am A F R A I D.

But my favorite part? The brainstorming and the worldbuilding. I am a stare-off-into-the-middle-distance daydreamer and I love just letting my brain go. I write entire scenes, entire sections of dialogue, even decided on the particular emotional tone in my head before a word ever gets written of the fic in question. Finding the different ways worldbuilding and character interactions fit together is such a satisfying procedure to me, and probably also why I love narrative and character analysis as much as I do.

[iwonderwh0]

It'd imagine there to be more memes like loss, when one thing evolved into a pure idea of it, being recognisable in the most abstract interpretation of it.

Probably some procedurally generated memes of some actual footages, like the video of some CyberLife CEO or Warren saying something outrageous / doing something mildly ridiculous on camera reimagined with the same video footage being posted after being processed to replace acting characters with some pop-culture icons, or making them say things that are more alligned with how people view them (I mean things like that exist now and they've been existing for ages, but they'd just look more authentic. Even creepier deepfake basically, but for fun.)

In general I don't think the memes would me much different from what we have now, it's just that the average shitpost will appear to be higher quality with more nuanced secondary jokes and references in one piece.

I wonder what the memes in 2038 have evolved to become

[spaceheatertrash]

A Guide to My Tags

Original Posts

#Fetch Modus: Artist contains all of my own art. This tag is mostly defunct, as I now have a blog dedicated to my art.

#Spaceheater liveblogs contains the liveblogging I do during livestreams, YouTube premiers, and maybe movies and shows if I ever post about them while watching.

#Spaceheatertalks contains any posts where I'm just talking about Things In General. You can also go there to find some of my more situationally-reused tags (ones for Minecraft and DnD, for example).

#Make a statement and its relative #statement of [blog name] contains the asks I have answered.

#Spaceheater's trash contains shitposts, liveblogging, and any other short, original posts that don't fit under other categories

Vaults

#Strider Containment Procedures contains any reblogged art of the Striders which I particularly love.

*Coming soon to blogs near you!

[the-entire-internet-hate-mob]

@greshkaal