#probably very obvious that i enjoy tokyo crisis and mariya. BUT ANYWAY

[catchyhuh]

Thoughts on Pops' sidekicks? Yata, Mariya, Melon, that glorified babysitter from island of assassins, etc etc [places ask before the beasts' cave and slowly backs away]

[the beast sniffs the air, catching a faint whiff of tokyo crisis and bolts out of the cave like its prey drive has been activated] i may or may not have a particular favorite one off girl that i have been studying like bacteria in a petri dish for years, and this ask may or may not have looked like this to me

BUT YES!! I HAVE MUCH TO SAY

i think the secret to a good backup lupin character is to emphasize how mundane and comparatively normal they are IN A GOOD WAY OF COURSE! your supporting character needs to SUPPORT and the easiest, funniest way to do that, is to have them be just some guy. they can be weird, but they can’t be weirder than our main features. they can be cool, but they can’t be cooler than our main guys. you get it? 

and since it’s so fucking easy to make ANYBODY seem normal standing next to zenigata, you’d have to work pretty damn hard to beat the first point, so the most important thing HERE is to have them resigned to their fate. you will not stop him. it is impossible to stop him. he will not even acknowledge that you DID, in fact, try to stop him. really, the most you can do is catch the back of his coat before he accidentally steps into traffic when he's on autopilot

melon is probably the funniest in terms of this resignation because if anything he delights in having a front row seat. he’s not stopping shit! and you got like the old men that were just grinning and not even TRYING to keep him alive in episode 0 and twilight gemini, which i guess makes them beat out melon in terms of “it is what it is.” and then in the middle mariya is like, “ok, not letting him die but also he’s just not fucking listening to me and honestly when else am i gonna get a chance to partake in a car chase!! let’s go.” and then yata is slowly approaching the mariya level of stress because he’s clearly begun to realize if he has a panic attack every single time zenigata almost gets himself killed he’ll die of a heart attack before hes even 30. and. oh god i watched island of assassins and i remember proto-yata but i can’t even think of his name now. something very american. jimmy? BUT HE NEVER ACCEPTED THE FACT HE COULDN’T STOP ZENIGATA hence his Weakness in comparison. i also am vaguely aware that one special has this cop lady working with him but she ends up secretly being evil but i haven’t seen that one yet and also she’s. evil. so i imagine she wouldn’t count anyway so WHATEVER THERE’S OUR RANKING OF THE PEACE THEY’VE MADE WITH THE SITUATION

you can ALWAYS give pops a weird tagalong. it is ALWAYS correct! there’s four thieves and only one of him, which means you gotta give him SOMEBODY to work off of! i will always be pro-sidekick just because it makes him funnier or even adds a tiny bit of unexpected depth (him telling yata he understands if he quits the case, really everything he does in response to learning about mariya’s father/childhood, etc), and as a bonus, you might even get a really good character in their own right! all because they thought “damn. this is a little unfair isn’t it. have this guy follow him around for an hour” 

i have the science of this down pat. IN FACT THIS WHOLE THING IS PROBABLY WHY I’M SO #PROYATA I LOVE GOOD DYNAMICS! THE BEAST THANKS YOU FOR LISTENING