#probably i should go back to therapy. but. also i don't want to do that actually
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junewild · 1 year ago
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some of you might already know that m & i want to start a family. and for more than six months now i have been desperately wishing that we could start today, or even yesterday. but there are so many, many steps between here and there.
we want to do right by them. we don't want them to grow up in poverty. i remember being a food bank kid. he remembers being homeless. so... before we even get a vasectomy reversed & an iud removed, we need to increase our income, pay off debts, figure out long-term stable housing (ideally be on the short path to buying a home), do some fertility testing, establish good healthcare relationships, and a dozen other smaller things.
and... even after all of that, there's the big unknown of. what if we can't? what if i can't get off my psych meds? what if it takes too long? what if my mom's fertility issues are hereditary? what if the vasectomy reversal fails? what if, what if, what if?
i'm trying so hard to live in the moment, to enjoy the here and now, not to take for granted these precious days of just the two of us and three cats in a 500'2 studio, of him working from home and me only out of the house three days a week, of sleeping over at my mom's every weekend, of building a relationship and a life together. days that i know i'll miss.
but i've never been very good at keeping my mind out of the future. my best friend keeps sending me baby videos because he wants kids too and every one of them squeezes my heart. we watched matilda this week and cried the whole time. burrow's end is destroying me from the inside out, but i can't look away.
i just. i want. up to this point i've gotten very good at stuffing my wants, even this particular one, under the bed and ignoring them, but... this one has gotten too big for that these days. it won't go quietly anymore.
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onyxhellebore · 1 year ago
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The fucking anger issues are back and I ran out of breaking pencils rip to me
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whispering-kavka · 4 months ago
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the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell
#not enough to go to therapy but at least now i know what i should work on#correct me if i'm wrong but most people probably don't start to feel suicidal if there's like. a problem at work#i've been asked to support the back office and help with managing cases which is okay i guess. but i'm not a support team person so#i don't know how to do a lot of things despite using the learning resources provided by the workplace#and this one case i'm handling was rather easy on the surface. no info in sys so parcel can't move forward. ask origin to release data. eas#but then origin says that they can't because they get an error message when putting in receiver's acc number. ruh roh#if origin can't release data no one can. i've asked them to handle it with IT but had no response. in the meantime the other involved CS#started getting involved and now a production in a factory is stopped. and i know it's not my fault but i could've done better#acted faster. thought smarter. and i hate this kind of responsibility. and that i care too much#i've cried so much today i'm so tired. from the stress of this task i've been given and because of the IT issues popping in all the time no#i logged into work 45 minutes late because the VPN i've been using shit itself and i had to get a backup one#i should've gotten it installed ages ago but nooo let's do that laterrrrr you definitely won't regret that#i hate having to put up with this bitch (me) .#another thing is. it's currently summer vacation season so i'll have to brace myself for more support work to come. it's probably gonna go#just as bad if not worse. i'm so not cut out for this. i'll have to ask my boss if he can move me to a different service#so i can have an excuse like sorry i can't help i'm no longer associated with tnt~#but that's gonna have to wait until he;s back from his vacation in august . oh well#also all this stress might result in me getting something akin to an ED#my stress response other than crying and shaking is not feeling hunger. i ate something substantial at 5pm and had breakfast at 6am#between that i had two small pieces of candy and water#i'm already bad at feeding myself or at the very least eating nutritious food . this could make me worse#“oh but kav everyone makes mistakes and it's important to learn from them! keep fighting!” bitch i don't want to i didn't sign up for this#if i wanted to work for Support Team i'd have applied there. i did not wish to get involved with them and their work#sorry i needed to get this out of my system. i'll probably complain to some irls too but i might be able to do that without crying now#laments#<- i think this is going to be my vent tag
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ms-demeanor · 2 months ago
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Hi. I've followed you for a while and your advice to others always seems pretty good. You seem very knowledge about therapy and driving. This may be a bit out of your depth, feel free to delete this ask if so, but if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate hearing it. I've got a problem: the field I'm studying for and love doing will require frequent trips to places I cannot walk/bike/bus/fly to, and I'm terrified of driving. My father decided the best way to start teaching me was to put me behind the wheel on a small road in a big city with pedestrians and bikes on the road, and tell me to drive. It's been 4 years and I can't even think about getting behind the driver's seat without bursting into tears. Riding in the front passenger seat is fine. I want to get over this fear and finally learn to drive, with paid therapy if necessary, but I don't know what terms to search for to find a therapist that can help me with this. Any ideas?
So I think pretty much any decent therapist will be able to help you with this fear, just like any decent therapist will be able to help you figure out how to approach any fear that you've got.
But I'm also not sure this is something you need a therapist for so much as some very good friends and a lot of time. If you don't have your learner's permit I'd recommend getting one, and from there I think I'd say to ask some good friends, who you know are good drivers, to help teach you the rudiments of driving.
I think that you should do this by starting on a closed private property where there aren't people or pedestrians or anything else, and just put the key in the car, put the car in drive, and drive up and down a driveway until you are capable of doing so without panicking. From there, have your safe trusted driver friend take you someplace with no traffic of any kind but that does have some kind of lane markings (school parking lots on weekends, shopping center parking lots late at night, etc) and begin practicing things like stopping, turning, and acceleration. Do that until you're comfortable driving around empty parking lots, at which point I'd say that you should look at enrolling in a driving school with a closed course.
You were put in a very stressful situation that frightened you a lot, but there are ways that you can build up that should help you to see that it doesn't have to be stressful like that. Sit in the driver's seat of a parked car. Turn the car on without putting it into gear. Drive it back and forth just to get used to the car being in motion at very slow speeds.
If you want to work on this with a therapist you're probably going to want to be looking for someone who specifically discusses dealing with phobias around driving or accident-related trauma and recovery; cars can be terrifying and there are a ton of people who have had bad times with cars so there are lots of professionals who have dealt with getting people comfortable around cars as a necessity of our car-centric culture. That's the kind of stuff I'd be looking for, is people who talk about vehicle-related or accident-related trauma.
But also I think that's just a good thing to say out front if you're shopping for a therapist. "I am scared of driving and want to learn to drive, that is my primary current interest in therapy and I'm looking for a professional to support me while I work through this." Say this out loud as you call offices, and DO make calls, don't just look for reviews. People may not advertise this kind of thing specifically because it may just be taken for granted that it's something that their office can help equip you for.
Though, again, I think that you can likely do a lot of that yourself with the help of a good friend or a patient family member who is willing to respect your boundaries and work within them, but you need to think about what your boundaries are and what your goals are before you get to work.
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uyuforu · 6 months ago
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Is lunar return as important as solar return? What's the difference? Are the interpretations the same?
Thanks 🤎
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Astro Observations: Lunar Return Chart I
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Hii! That's a very good question! So Lunar Return Chart is pretty similar to Solar Return Chart, except that it is focused on the moon. While the Sun takes a year to come back, the Moon takes a month, so your Lunar Return Chart change every month. It will tell you how your month will go, what will most likely happen. I have never been through a lot of Lunar RC but I will try yo make an observation post now! I hope you will like it :)
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How to make a LRC?
✮⋆˙ Go on Astro.com
✮⋆˙ Free Horoscopes > Horoscope Drawings & Data > Extended Chart Selection
✮⋆˙ Chart Type: Scroll to "Lunar Return Chart"
✮⋆˙ Start Date: I suggest to start with 1st of the month and you'll see the date written when your LRC starts on your chart.
╰┈➤ For ex: For April, mine starts on April 12th 2024 and the next date if May 5th 2024 for my May LRC. So be careful about the dates!
✮⋆˙ Don't forget to add additional objects if you want to, and you are done!
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All pictures are from Pinterest.
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ Solar Return Observations I
જ⁀➴ Solar Return Synastry I
જ⁀➴ Solar Return Synastry II
Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules ; instagram
Buy me a Kofi •ᴗ•
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ִ ࣪𖤐 Best tool to know about LRC.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun 1H will make you have focused on confidence this month. You could also be more bold and you could be more courageous. You could want to take actions on whenever house/ sign is complimentary to that placement. You could also move more and be more physical in general.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun 3H will make you have a month focused on expressing yourself. You could also commit to know more about yourself, discover yourself, and it could be a time of getting to know us better.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sagittarius Rising/ 21° will makes you appear as pretty open minded this month! You could appear as curious, smart, immature too, but you could also appear as someone who knows a lot of things and who want to learn more.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Gemini Rising/ 27° is quite similar as Sagittarius Rising/ 21° but you could appear as gossipy or veryyyy talkative lol. People could think you speak non stop.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Moon will always be at the same sign as your Natal Moon and same degree also, so you should look mostly on which house it falls every month.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Moon 5H will make you feel quite creative this month. If you want children, you could want to be pregnant. You could also find yourself spending more time with children this month! You could be very sensitive to art in general but also you could be good at acting/ pretending your emotions. You could want to spend more time with friends, loved ones. You could be more flirty this month too. More romantic.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mercury 3H means you will def speak this month about you, your thoughts, your feelings, you will share! It's a good time to go to therapy, to talk to a friend about you and what is deep inside of you. You will probably need to lash out. You could also spend a lot of time just talking, small talking, but actually speak with people will probably be a need this month. You could also be very into drama and gossips lol.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Venus 3H could mean you could do or have a love confession! You could speak a lot about your feelings this month, speak a lot about love and how you love people around you. But you could be overanalyzing or overthinking your feelings and your relationships with your loved ones this month too.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Chiron 3H could mean you will have hard time with communication this month, you could argue more with your friends, or people in general. This could be because of miscommunication or just misunderstanding people. You could also speak in a more mean way this month, and be more vulgar too.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mars 12H could mean you are quite sensible this month and you could not have much motivation. You could be very lazy and it could also be a sign of depression.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mars 2H could also be you being lazy but you could also be very money focused. You could not be quite that motivated.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Jupiter 5H means you will be lucky for sure this month and you'll probably be very creative too.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Jupiter conjunct Uranus 5H could mean a sudden idea on the creative side, or a sudden luck that you didn't expect.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mars conjunct Saturn means you'll struggle to be motivated this month.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Saturn 2H could be that you'll very focused on your money and income situation, this can be stressful because you'll feel like you need to take responsibility for that.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Uranus 5H could be a sign of sudden ideas, sudden popularity, sudden love and flirt, romance could happen unexpectedly, but also fun moments.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Pluto 1H could be there is a big change about your physically. Perhaps you'll decide to lose weight or do more sport this month.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun 10H means you can focus a lot on your career, your reputation, how people see you but also you progress in your life. You could become just very hard working and you could be more busy during this month.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Moon 11H could be that you'll probably spend a lot of time online, you could also find some comfort online, talking to some online friends perhaps or just texting/ calling friends. It could also watch a show you love, or playing video games. Technologies and internet can bring you comfort. But being with friends, talking to friends or spending time with people with whom you feel good.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mercury 9H could be that you can be focused about learning a new language, or learning things about a certain culture. You could also just be very focused on your studies, whatever you do. Even if you work, you could be very focused about learning new techniques or tools. You could also be more into spirituality than before.
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ִ ࣪𖤐 Leo/ 5°/ 17°/ 29° Rising will make you seen as very popular, someone people look at a lot, you could be seen as the main character. You could be very fashionable and you could dress up very well this month. Could be a sign to be a it-girl.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Libra/ 7°/ 19° Rising will make you be perceived as very beautiful, fashionable, good looking, you could be seen as someone who dress up well, do well your make up, take care of your appearance.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun conjunct Venus in 10H could mean you could become very popular and well liked by other people this month. You could have a lovely reputation. You could also get a good popularity at work.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Venus 10H will make you love your job! You could also love your reputation lol. This could be a sign of you feeling more well liked and you could really like the popularity you get.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Venus conjunct Uranus 10H means you can get an unexpected popularity at work, or recognition. You could not expect it, or this can be pretty sudden and unplanned. This could also happen online.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun conjunct Uranus 10H could represent sudden fame! It can also represent sudden rise up in your work, career, you could get a sudden recognition for something you do. A good popularity and rise up in your reputation.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mars 9H could mean you'll have more motivation in studying this month. You could want to learn more and you'll have a lot of drive to do so. You could also be very motivated to expand your knowledge in general.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Mercury conjunct Mars 9H means you'll study a lot during this month. You could want to achieve a certain goal. You could also be talking a lot about your spiritual goals if you have some.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Jupiter 10H means you can get lucky in your job and career. You'll also be very luck in general because of your good reputation! This also means you'll probably get good opportunities at work.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Venus conjunct Jupiter 10H represents big opportunities that you probably always wanted to happen in your work. Opportunities that will make you love your job more.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Sun conjunct Jupiter 10H means your month will be very focused on your work and the opportunities you'll have. You'll be very focused on your career this month because you'll feel more lucky about it.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Jupiter conjunct Uranus 10H means unexpected opportunities and good fortune in the work field! Happy!
ִ ࣪𖤐 Uranus 10H means expect the unexpected in your career field! You could have some things happening suddenly in your work.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Saturn 8H could be a sign of feeling very overwhelmed, and depressed this month. You could have the feeling to go insane sometimes. Be aware of this, this is a sign to be careful with your thoughts. Your mental health will not be that great, so don't be afraid to ask for help.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Neptune 9H means some life lessons will probably confuse you and you can get hard times to learn those. But this could also mean you will probably be more spiritual this month!
ִ ࣪𖤐 Vertex 5H means something important could happen in your love life, fun life or creative life.
ִ ࣪𖤐 When your LRC Rising is the same as your SRC then this month will be very important in your life!
ִ ࣪𖤐 Pluto 6H means there could be a change in your health and how you eat, how you live your life. You could also try to work on your health, and mental health too.
ִ ࣪𖤐 Part of Fortune 1H could be a sign of a glow up. It could also be a sign of you being naturally lucky this month.
ִ ࣪𖤐 North Node 9H could mean you will learn some important life lessons this month.
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Thank you for reading!
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mistakenot4892 · 19 days ago
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Disclaimer that this is a post mostly motivated by frustration at a cultural trend, not at any individual people/posters. Vagueing to avoid it seeming like a callout but I know how Tumblr is so we'll see I guess. Putting it after a read-more because I think it's going to spiral out of control.
Recent discourse around obnoxious Linux shills chiming in on posts about how difficult it can be to pick up computer literacy these days has made me feel old and tired. I get that people just want computers to Work and they don't want to have to put any extra effort into getting it to Do The Thing, that's not unreasonable, I want the same!
(I also want obnoxious Linux shills to not chip in on my posts (unless I am posting because my Linux has exploded and I need help) so I sympathise with that angle too, 'just use Linux' is not the catch-all solution you think it is my friend.)
But I keep seeing this broad sense of learned helplessness around having to learn about what the computer is actually doing without having your hand held by a massive faceless corporation, and I just feel like it isn't a healthy relationship to have with your tech.
The industry is getting worse and worse in their lack of respect to the consumer every quarter. Microsoft is comfortable pivoting their entire business to push AI on every part of their infrastructure and in every service, in part because their customers aren't going anywhere and won't push back in the numbers that might make a difference. Windows 11 has hidden even more functionality behind layers of streamlining and obfuscation and integrated even more spyware and telemetry that won't tell you shit about what it's doing and that you can't turn off without violating the EULA. They're going to keep pursuing this kind of shit in more and more obvious ways because that's all they can do in the quest for endless year on year growth.
Unfortunately, switching to Linux will force you to learn how to use it. That sucks when it's being pushed as an immediate solution to a specific problem you're having! Not going to deny that. FOSS folks need to realise that 'just pivot your entire day to day workflow to a new suite of tools designed by hobby engineers with really specific chips on their shoulders' does not work as a method of evangelism. But if you approach it more like learning to understand and control your tech, I think maybe it could be a bit more palatable? It's more like a set of techniques and strategies than learning a specific workflow. Once you pick up the basic patterns, you can apply them to the novel problems that inevitably crop up. It's still painful, particularly if you're messing around with audio or graphics drivers, but importantly, you are always the one in control. You might not know how to drive, and the engine might be on fire, but you're not locked in a burning Tesla.
Now that I write this it sounds more like a set of coping mechanisms, but to be honest I do not have a healthy relationship with xorg.conf and probably should seek therapy.
It's a bit of a stretch but I almost feel like a bit of friction with tech is necessary to develop a good relationship with it? Growing up on MS-DOS and earlier versions of Windows has given me a healthy suspicion of any time my computer does something without me telling it to, and if I can't then see what it did, something's very off. If I can't get at the setting and properties panel for something, my immediate inclination is to uninstall it and do without.
And like yeah as a final note, I too find it frustrating when Linux decides to shit itself and the latest relevant thread I can find on the matter is from 2006 and every participant has been Raptured since, but at least threads exist. At least they're not Microsoft Community hellscapes where every second response is a sales rep telling them to open a support ticket. At least there's some transparency and openness around how the operating system is made and how it works. At least you have alternatives if one doesn't do the job for you.
This is long and meandering and probably misses the point of the discourse I'm dragging but I felt obligated to make it. Ubuntu Noble Numbat is pretty good and I haven't had any issues with it out of the box (compared to EndeavourOS becoming a hellscape whenever I wanted my computer to make a sound or render a graphic) so I recommend it. Yay FOSS.
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cainsau · 5 months ago
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Pitch Black Therapy || The Boys Imagine
(Platonic) Hughie Campbell x Supe!GN!Reader
Summary: After escaping the asylum, the boys went on their respective missions, leaving you, Lamplighter, and Hughie in Mallory's safehouse. Hughie gets curious about you and your power.
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You were told to stay in Mallory's house with Lamplighter and Hughie while the others went on their errands. It was a strange situation, considering that you and Lamplighter used to be on opposite sides in the asylum. He never harmed you specifically, but you could hear all the screams and crackling of fire whenever he had to burn someone, which made your headaches worse back when you were stuck in the cell with those bright lights. You would often glare at him, but he couldn't tell, because you always had a pair of sunglasses on ever since the escape.
If glaring at him felt good, it felt even better to not see him at all, so you made yourself comfortable in the kitchen for a while, until Hughie came.
"Hi." He said with a smile. "Not sure if i've officially introduced myself before, but i'm Hughie."
"Oh, hey," You reached out a hand towards him, offering a handshake, "I'm [Y/N]."
At first, he was taken aback by your normality. Whenever he introduced himself, it usually brought out a hostile reaction for some reason. He was just trying to be nice, but people didn't seem to like it, and now finally someone appreciated it.
You both sat on the kitchen stools in silence while you drank a can of soda, only accompanied by muffled voices of the TV in the other room.
He glanced curiously at you a few times, and finally gave in. "Hey, uh, you always wear those sunglasses. Are they, like, your trademark style or is there something… else going on?"
You chuckled, almost choking on your drink, "Man, i wish it was a style choice. But no, it's a side effect, i suppose. Everything's too bright for me."
"Sounds terrible." He grimaced. "What kind of power do you have that does that? Is it, like, night vision or something?"
"I do have night vision, but my power is... well," You paused for a moment, trying your best to find the correct words, "I can blind people."
"Blind people? Turning people blind?"
"Pretty much." You finished your drink, and threw the can towards the trash bin, but missed. "I can generate darkness and submerge people in it, causing them to not be able to see anything." You walked over and picked up the can, dropping it into the bin. "It also works on cameras and stuff."
"Whoa. That's cool... but scary, but... cool."
You then turned around to face him. "Do you want to see?"
"I think the question should be: do i want to 'not' see?" He joked, which earned a small laugh from you. "That seems horrifying, to be honest."
"You know, actually, i heard that there's people who pay to experience having all sensory inputs removed. They say it's therapeutic." You said, pretending to try to convince him as you returned to your seat. "You don't wanna try some pitch black therapy? Free of charge."
He shook his head dramatically, "Nope, no way."
"Alright, alright." You put both hands up, a playful gesture of backing down. "But seriously though, i think you should try once, so that you're not too shocked if i have to use it in the field later."
He thought about it for a moment, it actually made sense. "You're probably right."
"Great! I'll go for five seconds, how does that sound?" You clasped your hands together, ready to start.
"Woah, hold on, you seem way too excited about this." He chuckled.
"What can i say? I'm new to this too."
"Right." He nodded. "Five seconds is enough, i think."
"Okay, on three. One. Two. Three." You released your hands, and a pitch black substance appeared from between them, expanding instantly until it engulfed the whole room.
One second in. Hughie jumped a bit in his seat, frantically looking around for any source of light. Two seconds. You could see him panicking a little. Three. He brought his hands right in front of his eyes and waved it, but he could see nothing. Four. He put his hands back on the kitchen counter, relieved that it was still there. Five. The room turned back normal.
He seemed a bit disoriented, suddenly being able to see again.
"You alright?" You asked, feeling a little bad.
"Yeah, no, it's just... i thought it would be a regular kind of darkness, where i could still see a little bit of movement or something, y'know? But i couldn't see anything at all. Like, if i had to experience that for the first time while we're out there? I'd probably get a heart attack or something."
"Yeah..." You smiled apologetically. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine, you were right, and that was pretty awesome. Not therapeutic at all though."
You gave a small laugh, which Hughie returned.
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fiddleyoumust · 4 months ago
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I have many The Boyfriend finale thoughts, but I haven't organized them yet (and may not). I do want to yak about a few things, though.
Ikuo, buddy. Relationships are not communal property, and you should have minded your own business, especially in light of the later reveal that you have feelings for Dai. It truly casts a shadow over your intentions. And before anyone comes at me about this, I think in the context of Ikuo's letter, his actions DO look a bit shady. All the "I wouldn't make you feel anxious or sad or treat you carelessly" with the unspoken "like Shun" hanging over all of that just makes everything he did with the DaiShun fight feel icky and manipulative.
The DaiShun fight was, once again, a masterclass in communication once they both got over throwing their solo tantrums. I really liked Dai telling the others that he's tired of always being the one to initiate the hard conversations (even though this isn't true because Shun initiated the convo after their fight in ep 7 and he also says "I love you" first), but I understand why Dai FEELS like that's true.
Shun is a lot of work. He's going to continue to be a lot of work. A lot of people watching the show are annoyed with him and think Dai deserves better. But here's the thing. Everyone deserves love. Everyone. Even deeply flawed broken people deserve love. And we all deserve the chance to pursue the love we want. Dai chose Shun. Over and over again. Despite Shun being a pain in the ass. Despite Shun pushing him away and testing him and making him feel anxious. Dai kept choosing Shun. I think Dai knows better than any of us what Shun is like, and yet! He still wants him. He's still willing to do the work, and it's a lot of work! Even the best relationships with the healthiest people are a lot of work. So, for me, it's not about who Dai "deserves". It's about who Dai wants, and Dai wants Shun. Dai thinks Shun is worth it, and that's what matters.
The convo Dai and Shun have about the t- shirt is really layered because you once again see Shun's past coming back to haunt him. And you see Shun acknowledge (him saying "if this happens again...") that some of his worst behaviors are going to repeat. Even if Shun gets or is getting therapy, there is a lot of work to be done to break him out of these behavioral cycles, so I think it's great that both he and Dai acknowledge that Shun is LIKE THIS. He is probably going to be LIKE THIS again. He is probably going to be LIKE THIS for a long time even if he's working hard to not be like this.
But now that Dai knows what's going on in Shun's head, he can help solve the problem when it comes up again. It's never going to work to tell Shun, "Don't doubt my feelings for you." Shun does doubt and will doubt again. The same fears are going to pop up over and over again for him. His trust issues are going to be a challenge for them. But Dai saying, "I won't let this happen again, " is so good. He's unlocked another Shun level, so when he finds himself back there again, he can sprint through it now because he knows how to solve it. And the best thing is, he WANTS to solve it. I don't know how to tell you how meaningful it is for difficult damaged people to have someone who thinks they're worth the work it takes to have a relationship with them.
I hope everyone out there who is hard to love finds their Dai. We all deserve a Pylades to our Orsetes!
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mirukosbitchywife · 2 years ago
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obanai, rengoku, gyomei, and all four uzuis x reader
part one here
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part two of hashira x a reader who nearly died fighting demons!! idk if you can tell but this was SO HARD FOR ME TO DO!!!!! this is my first time ever writing for or even about obanai and gyomei really so i struggled with it! please let me know if they're super ooc i tried my hardest but idk if i got the characterization correct!!
tengen uzui plus makio uzui, suma uzui, and hinatsuru uzui:
•you'd wake up after being taken to the butterfly mansion with suma On Top of you crying into your shirt. makio tried to let her go but hina told her to let her have this :( tengen is just sitting quietly next to your bedside, with hina and makio sitting opposite him, all three holding onto both your hands
•tengen told you your actions were very unflashy and that you worried them. they had heart attacks when the crow arrived to inform them of the situation
•suma cries at you to never be so reckless again, makio scolds you (it's how she expresses love), and hina says you should join lord tengen in retirement
•if you lose an eye or something tengen WILL insist you match his. gotta be flashy even when disabled. he's a disabled icon
•even with his long lasting injuries, tengen, suma, makio, and hina are still all shinobi so expect your physical therapy process to be intense
kyojuro rengoku:
•honestly. he's an absolute wreck. has not left your side since he was alerted of your condition, not to do anything besides use the restroom. shinobu has to wrestle him from your beside to make him eat and sleep (sleeping in a chair does not count unfortunately for him)
•is so relieved when you wake up he Literally can't stop smiling. also yelling. he's yelling a Lot. but not in a bad way of course, he's just speaking Very enthusiastically! he might even cry from happiness at seeing you alive and mostly well and moving around
•will literally do everything for you. will not let you move a muscle to do anything while you're recovering essentially. like oh you want some water? he's getting it. you need a book/pen/a blanket, literally anything that you reach for he's going no no you don't need to be moving around let me get it for you even if the item is in your reach
iguro obanai:
•is probably the only one who gives you peace. of course he's concerned, and he's been staying by your side waiting for when you wake up, but will give you space to breathe
•i'm going to assume if you like obanai you also like snakes, because when you wake up kaburamaru is wrapped around you too, he was also concerned okay :(
•would quietly tell you how much you worried him and how he had rushed there. and by that i mean he RAN nobody has ever seen him move that fast outside of battle. he was just really concerned:(
•will hiss at people who try to enter your room in the butterfly mansion. the butterfly girls and aoi are annoyed by him but just ignore it, and inosuke actually starts snorting back at his hissing and they almost actually fight.
•really reliable while you're recovering, a silent but steady presence at your side. is a little bit of a simp and will do whatever you ask bc your hurt :( of course he'll do anything for you :(
gyomei himejima:
•would be silently kneeling by your bedside in prayer with tears streaming down his face when you wake up. immediately notices when you're actually awake from the change in your breathing and immediately stands up and grabs your hands
•also another one who gives you breathing space, but is a little more clingy. might not voice it aloud but is terrified of losing you too and being alone again
•you relish in his strong but silent presence by your side, he doesn't have much to say beyond the fact he was worried about you, but he's more of an actions speak louder than words type person and is there when you need him
•an actual rock for you during your recovery. him being disabled doesn't mean he's not able to help you with your physical therapy and taking care of yourself!! very content to help you
•maybe okay. hear me out. maybe you could convince him to sneak you out and give you piggyback rides once you're well, but not completely healed enough to leave the butterfly mansion. he seems like a big softie who will give into anything that doesn't have any real consequences
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yamujiburo · 1 year ago
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I'm so thankful for you sharing the importance of protecting minors from sexual content. My parents and I didn't have much knowledge back then and I was exposed to this kind of stuff too early. I developed bad habits. I somehow deceived my family into trusting me way too much and, when I saw I had lost control and I asked for help, I saw my family was also hurt and they spent a lot on therapy and my anxiety medication. I have forgiven them for not knowing back them. But I still haven't forgiven myself for getting them through all that stuff. It's important to understand how much we need to protect minors from sexual content. Family members and artists, please pay attention to the content young audience is exposed to.
Of course! I can relate a lot to this. My parents were really good at monitoring what I was doing online for a while but they started trusting me more and I unfortunately started seeing a lot of stuff I shouldn't have but would keep it secret. Gonna talk about my experience a lil bit under the cut just bc I've been reflecting on it a lot recently (tw for grooming)
I gained a following of around 25K on deviantart by the time I was around 15/16. It was in the worst fandom too (mlp). I'd have a lot of much older men talking to me, drawing/writing nsfw of my characters who were underaged (they'd draw nsfw of myself and my sonas as well). It was so normalized for me and I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time.
I'd shipped Spike and Rarity at the time (very much do not anymore) and adult men would use that ship as a basis for trying to talk to me or get in a relationship. "We're just like Sparity! You're young but you're very mature for your age, so it's fine." I remember one guy trying REALLY hard to try and get me to move in with him. I was pretty creeped out then, but like holy shit that's SUPER creepy and I'm fortunate that he didn't keep trying after I gave him a hard "no".
It bled into my real life a bit when I met a 22 y/o man who asked me out when I was just 16 just turning 17. Luckily the relationship was NOT long lasting (I think he realized that I'm a very boring person LMAO) but I think about how I thought that that was a perfectly normal. I'd date go on to date people who were probably too old for me.
Also around when I was 16/17, people started shipping me with another artist in the fandom who was several years older than I was (side note: nothing wrong with an age gap! but it's very not okay when there's "waiting" for someone to be of legal age involved). I did end up dating said artist after I turned 18 and it was fine, I wasn't hurt or anything but I did find weird that we were shipped when I was still a teenager looking back (there was also nsfw drawn of us together before/when we were dating)
I just had such a warped sense of reality for a long because of this shit. I'm glad there's more conversations about this stuff and it's more known that adults should have little to no personal interaction with kids on the internet and vice versa. There's way too many stories of kids getting taken advantage of in fandom spaces. I think I got off fairly lucky all things considered. But bottom line YES kids need to be protected online and their exposure to sexual content/adult spaces should be limited or monitored. It's also really tough though because not all kids have adults in their real life that they can trust or go to to ask questions about sex so they seek solace in adults online and it's just a constant cycle.
I'm honestly unsure of what to do about that and I don't have all the answers but I ultimately just don't want kids online to end up in similar positions I was in when I was younger. I just do my best
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npdzane · 3 months ago
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I think the fandom of Ninjago should talk about Zane's fear of losing his humanity and his fear of any negative emotion in general. And how they contradict each other.
(warning, yap sesh ahead) TLDR: can nindroids get therapy? If so we need 5 therapists for Zane immediately
It's already established that Zane has a fear of being seen as just a machine, nothing but a freezer with fake coded emotions. But I haven't seen anyone talk in depth how he seems to turn off his emotions whenever he's faced with grief or stress, and how he only learnt to not do that far into his life.
He probably picked up that habit from when Dr. Julien turned off his memory switch before "dying" back in season 1. And he realized that if he went so long not feeling bad about the "death" of his creator by simply not remembering it or not having the actual emotion of grief, he wouldn't feel bad either when anything similar happened if he just turned off his emotions like Dr. Julien did to him.
The fact this lasted as long as it did meant nobody picked up on it* and tried to tell him he was wrong. Which only validated that idea because if there was a problem with it, someone would've told him..right?
But how can you say you don't want to lose your sense of humanity as a robot while simultaneously doing something humans can't whenever you're faced with stress? I'd say he'd overthink it, and feel guilty about not being honest with himself. He knows hes being irrational, but hes still terrified of the thought of no one seeing him as a person.
But at the same time, he's never been taught how to face stress by himself. Only for other people. It's not like he just doesn't know that ignoring your feelings is a way to avoid the problem and a bad coping mechanism, he obviously knows that. He probably just doesn't know any other solutions because his situation is so niche.
Because how could anyone not want what he has? In his position, he probably feels as if everyone would kill to be a nindroid. Since nobody tells him otherwise. We even see clips where the others use Zane's robot body as a joke or in one case, use him as a fucking cleaning robot. Can you imagine how dehumanizing it must feel for someone to be forced against their will like a puppet into doing a weeks worth of chores?
Zane probably feels as if his fears are irrational. Like he shouldn't have them because being a nindroid seems to be the only thing that others care about when they see him. He's a logical person for sure, but everyone has irrational thoughts and unless you face the reason you have those thoughts they aren't going to go away and they'll cloud your judgement. Zane, for sure, is not doing that. Because we can see he just simply forces himself to stop having emotions when they happen instead of facing them, which only fixes it temporarily.
So hes afraid of being seen as just a freezer with fake emotions (i have more to say about the "fake emotions" part), and because he doesn't face his feelings about why hes afraid of that he lets himself believe that is how people see him. Which causes him to think that fear is stupid and that he shouldn't have it, which makes him turn off his emotions for a while, and the cycle continues.
He also might believe his emotions arent needed. Like maybe at some point he convinces himself that if everyone else only sees him as a calculator with ice powers, maybe that's what he actually is. So on top of everything, he feels like since hes only a computer, all his emotions are fake. Therefore unnecessary.
Not to mention he most likely feels as if he's weak for letting Vex manipulate him. And emotions = weak, weak = manipulated again, manipulated again = letting everyone down. But thats just a little thought i had to let out.
If i could write I'd probably make a fic about him being confronted by this fear, but until then it'll stay in my brain.
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Poor boy. Just look at him. He doesn't deserve this bro AUUGIGUGJGJGGHHGHHHH IM AUTISTIC 🥹
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Edit: *i rewatched crystalized today and realized the other ninja ARE aware of Zanes habit. They just dont gaf 😭WHICH MAKES IT WORSE!!!
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gothamitelove · 18 days ago
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It's nice to see you back :]
Could you please do yandere headcanons for Arkham Shadow Scarecrow :) he's so....
YES ANON I LOVE THIS SO MUCH (and i got your other ask so dw)
yan!arkham shadow!jonathan crane w/patient s/o
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you don't intrigue him at first. he's just overseeing harley's group therapy sessions because he has to (and also because he loves to see what other people are doing wrong that he could do better, egotistical asshole that he is)
but then you open up. you say something profound, something more insightful than he thought hardened criminals (he works in blackgate, after all) capable of. and that's when he notices
he's a doctor. you're a patient and an inmate. of course he has your file. he goes over it painstakingly, fitting every event and piece of information it has about you into his mental image of you. all the better to find out what makes you tick
he snaps at you less than he does with the others, but he does get into more arguments with harley over you.
he tells her she should be letting you talk more, asking deeper questions. she of course shouts back that his "blunt force trauma" approach won't help you, but the whole time he's thinking "what the fuck does she know about this?" and doesn't take her seriously.
he wants to hear your thoughts on things. he wants to know everything about you, split open your skull (pardon the imagery) and peer into every corner of your brain
and this could go badly. you could end up as a test subject, if only because your reactions fascinate him. regardless if you do or not, you are the one patient jonathan crane takes an actual, personal interest in
he tries and probably succeeds in getting you switched out of harley's care and into his
all this to say he's creepy and deeply invasive and intensely jealous of everyone who knows more about you than he does! have fun this man is dangerous
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mulletmitsuya · 28 days ago
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Toman Groupchat (Final Timeline)
Warnings: suggestive, dark humour, mentions of abuse (kazutora's dad) in a serious and non serious way
Desc: so uh, it's not exactly like this (the request), but this is the basic format of events. the founders know kind of but Smiley and Angry don't. 🍎anon, forgive me if you hate it 😓🙏
Side Note: all the dark topics i'm making fun of (homophobia, abuse etc) are things i've personally gone through! i'm not just an asshole who jokes about bad things✋️😪!
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Angry: i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with our friend
Draken: be more specific
Baji: that's literally all of us
Baji: ESPECIALLY Mikey
Mikey: ?
Mikey: you can't prove that
Baji: there's a deep sadness in your eyes
Baji: *madness
Mitsuya: tbh, both work
Mitsuya: sorry
Mikey: what do you mean
Mikey: i'm perfectly fine
Mikey: everyone in my life is alive and no one is dead
Mikey: i haven't committed any unforgivable sins
Mikey: see? i'm fine
Mitsuya: what are you ever talking about dude
Baji: see? he's crazy
Baji: i'd say something's wrong with Takemitchy but he's just ugly. does that count
Takemitchy: my wife would think otherwise😒
Baji: idgaf
Mikey: i also think otherwise just btw
Draken: bro let it go
Mikey: let what go😁
Mikey: it should've been me walking down the isle fr but like, i don't mind
Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i can't tell if this is a joke 😂
Chifuyu: Mikey you're making him uncomfortable😒
Mikey: Chifuyu, did you know that in another universe, i shot you in the head?
Chifuyu: yeah i bet, fucking psycho
Takemitchy: Mikey-kun😐
Anrgy: i mean Kazutora
Angry: there's something wrong with Kazutora
Draken: can't argue with that
Mitsuya: yep
Mikey: oh yeah definitely, but we all knew this?
Chifuyu: he should be admitted to a psych ward, in my personal opinion
Smiley: he has a few screws loose, but that's what makes him funny
Smiley: he threatened to kill me the other day and i genuinely didn't know if he was joking or not. i love that guy😁
Takemitchy: i'm sure he was joking. we all joke like that🤣
Chifuyu: he probably wasn't and we all know it
Draken: why did he threaten to kill you
Draken: did you do that thing where you intentionaly trigger people to get a reaction out of them
Draken: cause then i can vouch for Kazutora and say that Smiley would deserve it
Smiley: i only do that with you, Draken. it's really easy
Smiley: you're hot when you're mad
Smiley: i love seeing that vein pop out of that big ass head of yours
Smiley: makes me wonder what else is veiny
Angry: ew😠👎
Mikey: do you mean his penis?
Mikey: cause yeah it has like one vein
Baji: how do you even know that
Mikey: Emma has pictures
Draken: i'm gonna hurt you, Smiley
Smiley: see?
Smiley: easy
Angry: can you please stay on topic😐
Smiley: fine
Smiley: he tried to kill me cause i beat him at UNO
Smiley: insisted i cheated🙄
Mikey: did you?
Smiley: yeah
Angry: you find new ways to disappoint me big bro😡
Smiley: it's just a game lil bro 😁
Draken: one day, i'll do something i can't take back
Smiley: what, you'll fuck me?
Draken: enough
Angry: before you hurt Smiley, can we please talk about Tora
Angry: since you guys are super close
Angry: i really am worried
Chifuyu: he's fine
Angry: how do you know
Chifuyu: i'm with him like 24/7?
Chifuyu: okay maybe he's not fine fine, but Baji-san and i are dealing with it
Baji: he's going to therapy, so it's not like he's not getting help
Takemitchy: but what's wrong with him?
Takemitchy: oh, nevermind, i remember
Baji: how would *you* know🧐?
Takemitchy: uh
Takemitchy: i don't
Takemitchy: i just didn't want to look stupid!! yeah, that's it haha😅
Mikey: dude, you're gonna blow our cover
Mikey: when you could be blowing me instead 🤣🤣😭💔😂🍆💦
Mikey: anyway
Takemitchy: i don't know what to say anymore 😄
Angry: GUYS
Angry: PLEASE
Draken: see, idk if we should be disclosing why Kazutora's the way he is
Draken: isn't it like, super personal?
Baji: his dad used to beat him, real bad
Baji: his mom too. they'd fight all the time and they'd make him pick sides and shit
Angry: his mom also used to beat him🙁?
Baji: no, his dad would beat Tora and his mom
Baji: i set his dad's car on fire once 🔥
Draken: ...😐
Baji: what? it's not like he keeps it private. if you ask him, he'll tell you
Draken: yeah, we should have asked *him*
Baji: you don't get him like i do fr
Chifuyu: wait 😌🤚
Chifuyu: they don't love you like i love you 🫵
Baji: ?
Baji: i love you too?
Chifuyu: it's... it's a trend
Chifuyu: yk, on tiktok
Chifuyu: nevermind
Mikey: you look so fucking stupid🫵😭
Draken: why do i ever bother
Draken: i'm gonna leave this group for good
Mikey: you've been saying that for the past 10 years 🥱
Angry: oh😕
Angry: is there any way we can help him?
Smiley: man i feel like we should have known this
Smiley: that's why he gets so mad at "yo mama" jokes
Smiley: i feel bad now 😬
Baji: just don't talk about dad's or mom's or families at all
Baji: he's not gonna do anything, but i'm sure it hurts him inside
Mikey: we should find his dad and kill him
Mikey: amiryt guys
Draken: why are you so casual about murder
Draken: but i agree, this once
Mitsuya: you literally always agree
Kazutora: who are we killing
Kazutora:
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Draken: why does it look like that
Kazutora: hang on, let me catch up
Draken: don't do that. we weren't talking about anything
Baji: we were talking about your abusive parents
Draken: 😐
Kazutora: ...
Kazutora: i thought i was hiding it well
Smiley: hiding what?
Kazutora: mental illness
Smiley: oh
Smiley: you weren't
Mikey: dude
Angry: there's something wrong with all of us! so it's okay
Smiley: yeah but it's more obvious with Kazutora
Draken: are you good tho?
Kazutora: yeah i'm fine. my dad came to the pet shop the other day and i guess i've been freaked out
Kazutora: but i killed him👍
Angry: 😧
Takemitchy: SHIT
Mikey: oh god, please tell me you're joking
Baji: dude😐
Kazutora: i'm joking lol
Kazutora: i just hit him several times in the head with a crowbar
Draken: ...
Draken: so you, killed him?
Kazutora: he's in the hospital. he's fine
Kazutora: well, he's in a coma, but he's alive
Smiley: dude, you're gonna go to jail?????
Kazutora: nahhh
Baji: fym "nahhh" ???
Kazutora: no evidence
Kazutora: i followed him home and he didn't see me
Takemitchy: what about camera's??
Kazutora: i have an alibi
Draken: holy shit you're gonna go to jail man
Draken: ok we need to have a meeting or something. plan of action
Mitsuya: Kazutora why would you do that man
Mikey: Kazutora
Mikey: do you know the amount of work you just undid😟
Mikey: why do you like bashing people's skulls so much holy shit 😓
Angry: what do we do
Kazutora: guys it'll be fine
Kazutora: my dad has so many ops. he's the worst guy ever. people hate him
Kazutora: and i stole some stuff so they'll just rule it as a mugging
Draken: ...or as an attempted murder😐
Kazutora: you guys are bumming me out😒
Draken: us????
Takemitchy: ok you know what
Takemitchy: let's all meet at my place
Takemitchy: we'll eat and drink and uh, discuss the situation at hand
Takemitchy: in a normal, non bumming out way
Mikey: we're cooked
Baji: i'll take the fall, if necessary
Mikey: holy shit i'm going to kill myself
Draken: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU
Mikey: YES IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Takemitchy: we're cooked
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talekinesis · 24 days ago
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Reasons I will not Accept Umbrella Academy Season 4 as Canon (major spoilers)
I wanna preface this with: This is just my personal opinion, I am not telling anyone how they should or shouldn't feel. If you liked season 4, that is wonderful for you, I wish I could say the same
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These two. I do not like their little romantic side plot at all for a multitude of reasons
I know Five's consciousness is like 68, I know he's technically an old man, but his body is around 19 years old, and Lila knew him while his body was still 13 so it just feels weird
I cannot imagine being in my 30s, married with children and being in love with someone who looks like they're 19, and yes, I know 7 years alone will do numbers on someone's mind, but still
throughout their whole little love montage, I was just begging, "Please let this just be a wholesome friend thing, please let this just be a cute, close sibling like dynamic- FUCK ME, THEYRE KISSING!?"
Also Five wasn't even good to her, he lied about the book at first and just made the decision for her that she'd stay with him in that timeline forever. And yes I know he eventually told her, but even after that he kept trying to convince her to just abandon her husband, children, and family because "You're happy here." Diego and Lila have their own issues, sure, but he's still the much better option and wouldn't have tried to trap her like that.
Season 4 Five just feels.. off, he feels wrong. Bring back his little shorts and old man vests when he was in 'retirement.' Bring back the Five that went on a road trip with Klaus because he wanted to see things like the world's biggest ball of yarn or whatever it was, I don't like this Five who tries to trap a married mother in an alternate dimension with him
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THE CLEANSE
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
YOU'RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME NONE OF THEM MAKE IT??
"Oh Talon, there can't always be happy endings, some endings are sad too," and I GET THAT!! But that doesn't mean I can't still pout about it >:(
I will sit here with a pouty lip and arms crossed for all eternity /ref
It just felt like a kick to the gut for the show to be like, "Oh and they ceased to exist, they were never born, none of this technically ever happened, and no one remembered or missed them. They saved the world, the timeline, and no one will ever remember them for it because it technically didn't actually happen to begin with," fuck you
These characters we got so attached to, these plots that we got so invested in, you can't just tell me, "Also they technically never happened because they were never born," what the hell??
So you know what?? No. I don't accept s4 as real. Just like the cleanse, it never happened. As far as I'm concerned, the story ended at s3, everyone is alive and well, they don't have their powers, and they all went their separate ways.
Viktor is still running a bar in Canada with his friends
Allison is still a happy mother to Claire
Luther is living in the mansion married to Sloane
Diego is still learning to be a parent with Lila
Five is in much needed therapy and in college reclaiming a young adulthood life he never had
Klaus is still sober and going strong, probably working at a café, he's someone's favorite barista and they have conversations
Ben is living in South Korea (where google said he was at the end of s3) and he still keeps in contact with Klaus and Viktor
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brucewaynehater101 · 4 months ago
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How dare you refuse to pay my therapy bills after the torment you’ve cause me 🥲 Anyway turnabouts fair play.
TW: dead body, resurrection (probs others it’s like 2 am so it’s time to get morbid in ur inbox :p)
I feel like if any of the bats tried to dip Tim in the Lazarus pits, something Tim has explicitly said multiple times that he doesn’t want to get dipped into then maybe young justice would have to intervene on Tim’s behalf.
Tim is obsessed with doing things perfectly and that includes things pertaining to himself. If he’s not coming back right then don’t you dare bring him back.
So i’m imaging Jason getting ready to dip Tim in the pits, after his obligatory mental breakdown about it, only for a blur to suddenly take Tim’s corpse away.
Then young justice has to deal with the fact that they have one of their best friend’s corpses with them that they’re just hiding from the bats. Probably having to use one of Tim’s contingencies to stay away from them while dealing with the emotion turmoil of everything that they’re doing.
Then there’s the question of just what exactly they’re going to do with Tim’s body. Do they keep playing keep away from the bats with Tim’s body until it fully decomposes. It would usually never work but maybe with Tim’s contingencies they could pull it off.
Or should they destroy the body so throughly that there’s nothing left to be dipped in the pit? Are they going to cremate their best friend knowing that they’re going to stop their friend from every coming back.
They would want Tim back and love him even if he ‘came back wrong’ but they have to respect Tim’s wishes. He would forgive them but they know that they would ruin Tim’s life if they ever put him through that.
Or maybe it’s a secret third option where they’re all scrambling to find a way to bring back Tim with no consequences. They’re all diving headfirst into cults, magical/cursed items, healing methods from the future that brought back the others or they’re reaching out to other planets and universes.
Nobody in young justice was mentally sane about other members. They’re all ride and die about each other.
Yay!!!! "Payment" for my therapy, lmao ^^
If YJ knew Jason was about to dip Tim in the creepy lime juice bath, they probably would intervene. I'd also imagine other Bats would as well.
You've listed 3 options for YJ post corpse-napping:
Keep away/hiding Tim's body until it decomposes (or until he comes back himself)
Destroying/cremating Tim's body
YJ finding an alternative solution to bring Tim back
I like the au/hc that Tim has a contingency in place in case he dies before he is supposed to. I don't mean this as Tim having plans for how to deal with his death (like his will), but as in Tim having a way to come back to life. It is, for obvious reasons, untested and not certain. Still, Tim might have a plan for that.
Therefore, YJ would either wait for Tim to come back or try to figure out another option just in case.
Either way, unless Tim explicitly told them DNR (with the R being revive/resurrect in this case), YJ is gonna get their bird back. The whole band will get back together for this cause (or at least provide support/aid where they can).
Just YJ desperately keeping Tim's body from the Bats as they try to revive him and keep that gods awful Pit juice from him.
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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 year ago
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white out is probably one of the more notable episodes of she ra bc it's just catra at her absolute worst behavior, like objectively the portal had far greater consequences but i think the cold got to her in this one bc she's such a fucking menace. "looks like you're mine now adora" "always so perfect, look at you now. you're coming back to the horde under my command" "i wonder which of your friends i'll have you annihilate first" "I'VE GOT CONTROL OVER ADORA. I'M NOT GIVING THAT UP." like when corrupted she ra throws catra at the ground like a ragdoll she deserves it, 100%, no questions asked. there isn't even a time/space anomaly making catra act up, they just put her in outpost 31 from the thing with her ex and suddenly she's the homoerotic joker.
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even scorpia's briefly like "ahahah maybe i don't want to have a crush on catra after all" bc she's acting like such a freak. but also scorpia spends the entire episode trying to ask catra out, and tells adora, "you two, even when you're trying to kill each other, you can tell there's a real bond" and she is JEALOUS of that?? actually you know what this is also a catradora at their worst behavior episode too, like the way they immediately start trash talking and then ditch everyone to scrap the second they see each other is beyond unprofessional. catra's favorite number is canonically 42069 (confirmed by nate stevenson) and adora knows this by heart. if those two idiots were in the same room for five minutes while adora's on loopy mode the show would actually just end, and this episode fucking KNOWS it and refuses to give us the satisfaction. bro. scorpia telling loopy adora that catra is misunderstood and shouldn't SHE know that better than anyone else is just like. wow. ouch. rude. scorpia is actually the mvp of this episode she straight up judges adora to her FACE for abandoning catra and swears not to do the same, even though honestly she probably should, because catra fucking SUCKS in this one. scorpia reveals that "catra once used my rock-hard exoskeleton as a nail file" why?? why would you let this happen?? stop simping she's not worth it!! but scorpia is still the mvp bc at the end of the episode she just straight-up realizes that catra is out of her goddamn mind and breaks the 'controlling she ra' disk for catra's own good bc clearly something about low temps and her ex makes catra go 25% more feral than usual and it's pretty cringe. it's like when i dispose of the dead fly my cat has been antagonizing for the past twenty minutes like babygirl i don't like the person you become when you're in these conditions!! and of course OF COURSE we get literally two seconds of sober wordless communication between catra and adora that's just like ohhhh adora's gonna remember this one, you're going to be doing the dishes for the first fifteen years of your relationship once this galactic war shit wraps up and you save the universe by kissing with tongue. oh my god, what the fuck is with this show. how does this show exist. how does this episode exist. how does catra exist. they put this gay catgirl in an environment under 32 degrees farenheit for one episode and it's enough to make her say some of the most toxic, deranged dialogue in the entire series. i think soup would fix her, and also a cocktail of psychiatric medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. she sneezes like a kitten and needs a weighted blanket in the evil uber away from cringefail summit as she's mentally drafting the 'i fucked up' email to her boss. she thanks scorpia and shares the blanket with her bc she's so exhausted by her own bullshit. she ra and the princesses of power season 2 episode 5 white out is for the cold gay heartbroken bitches and it might just be one of the series' best. looks like you're mine now adora, good fucking night.
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