#probably fruitier than that even

[jellyfishegg]

finally went to the asian grocer and bought some Szechuan pepper and, not to be homophobic, but I wasn't expecting it to be so.... fruity?

[theposhperyton]

I hope so. I hope Phillip utilizes the metal chair tactic

If a Phillip and Kalayavan meeting/confrontation actually comes to pass, how do you think it'll go down?

Who's to say? My bets on mutual attempted murder.

[catghoul31]

I Just Wanted To Feed Some Ducks, For Christ's Sake

Wade was just having a @poolverine-week Day 4: First Date with Logan, when out of nowhere, a close-minded jerkwad of a dad decides to harass them! He deals with it in typical Deadpool fashion, but accidentally reveals something about himself along the way. Will Logan still love him? Or will he hate him forever and ever and never, ever talk to him again??

(...Spoiler alert: everything was fine. Psh, I wasn't even worried!! Why'd you think I'd ever be worried...?)

Content Warnings: Homophobia and Transphobia (directed at logan and wade)

Read it under the cut, or on ao3!

This was probably the happiest Deadpool had been in about a decade… and all he was doing was throwing corn and peas at ducks at the park!! Oh, but his Logan was there, and today, that made all the difference. 

A couple days ago, they’d exchanged their first “I love you”s, kissed each other until their lips got sore, and signed marriage documents. That third one would’ve only been true if he’d taken Vanessa’s advice at face value, sure- but it was official now!! Deadpool and Wolverine were an item. No queerbaiting, no sending one partner to superhell, and not an ounce of homophobia to be found! This story would be really short, because it was honestly just an excuse for Wade to tell all you guys that he was feeding ducks with Wolvie right now. Wasn’t that an adorable thought in these trying times? He sure was glad no one was gonna ruin it, and he could just lean against him and kiss him on the cheek all cutely-

“Hey, what the hell-? You can’t be doing that around my kids!!”

FUCK.

Okay, Wade, calm down. Maybe there���s some other weirdo who decided to waltz over here naked or something, and that’s who he’s talking to? 

No- no, this guy was walking over to them- and there goes that cute little smile on Logan’s face. Why does this author keep making us deal with shit like this…? I just wanted to feed some ducks, for Christ’s sake!

“I don’t remember asking you, dickhead,” Logan grumbled lowly, and Wade would recognize that tone anywhere… That was only ever how he spoke if he was seconds away from introducing the claws to someone’s face!! He needed to humble this Karen-in-training now, before his peanut gave that guy a real reason to get them kicked out!!

The rando who thought he was the king of this public park scoffed at the show of aggression, crossing his arms. “No, listen to me!! I don’t care if you two want to be freaks in private, but I won’t have my children seeing this nonsense-“

“Nonsense?? We’re just feeding some ducks, lady!!” Wade interjected, stepping in between both the fuming, borderline rabid monster man and Logan. “I know that sounds concerning, but that bucket’s full of mixed vegetables! No white bread here, we know that’s bad for them, so I promise your kids won’t pick up any bad habits-“

“God, shut up!! You know exactly what I’m talking about- this gay shit… ” he hissed, as if ‘gay’ was a four-letter word or something, while gesturing at them as though they were some spectacle. He really could’ve picked… any of their other adventures, if spectacle was what he wanted. He was clearly new here, since Deadpool knew he’d gotten a lot fruitier than this!! But whatever- so much for no homophobia, right?

“Oh, come on!! ” Wade said, in the middle of a few barks of laughter. “ That’s the problem you have with us?? In the year of our lord 2024… I mean, I’m a fucking merc, and you’ll probably find out what’s going on with my super-friend here if you keep bugging us,” he quipped, smirking at how fucking pissed Logan looked. He’d have no problem calming him down later, if you know what I mean… ;) But he was honestly curious- what lore was behind the stick up this man’s ass?

“Please, though, tell me how me giving this little guy a little kissy-kissy affects your children, who are currently throwing handfuls of dirt at each other 200 feet away from us where they can’t possibly see us,” Wade snarked, scratching Logan’s head as said little guy continued growling threateningly at the man. “Easy now, tiger…” he soothed, to absolutely no avail.

The loving, accepting individual in front of them cringed at the exchange before them, nearly looking ready to spit on Wade. Hey, he’d gladly open his mouth for him!! “You don’t see a single problem with this?? Ignoring how fucked up whatever that guy’s doing to me is-“

“I’ll show you fucked up, you sad, bigoted waste of-“

“Hey, hey!! We’re having a civil conversation here, Logan- I am so sorry. He’s not used to new faces, but I’ve been working on socializing him-“ Wade joked again, shutting up as soon as he felt the pricks of his claws brush his hand. They had to keep it cool, blood-free and stuff, because they had to think of the kids, right??

“-I don’t want my, or any other kid, going around thinking it’s okay for two men to be treating each other like women! God, you two are sick…”

Immediately, a lightbulb went off in Wade’s head. Without thinking, he said exactly what was on his mind, because oh my god it sounded so fucking funny to him- 

“Well… how do you know I’m not a woman?”

Dead silence followed his statement. Logan wasn’t even snarling at the dude anymore, and the dude himself was looking at him like Tails did in that one MS Paint comic panel that made him crack up every time he saw it. Fucking brilliant.

“…Because you have a penis?? What kind of question is that, you freak?!” he yelled, and Wade felt Logan tense up in defense once again.

“Woah, woah- and how do you know that?? Get your mind out of my pants- and maybe yourself away from this lake, if you want to keep your… everything intact,” he said, tightening the arm he had around his honey badger as he glared daggers into this dickwad. Truthfully, he was this close to just letting him go- it’d be so funny!! Except his kids were supposedly here, so…

“Ohh my fucking-“ The male Karen- Kyle?- whoever he was- his brain was officially broken. Wade loved to see it!! “Just- get out!! Degenerates like you shouldn’t be allowed anywh- HOLY SHIT!!”

Snikt!! Oh, that was one of Wade’s Top 3 Favorite Sounds Of All Time for sure… and the full flash of claws from Logan finally had this dude running away with his nonexistent tail between his legs. “Awh, good boy!!” Wade praised, patting his back affectionately. “You showed him, didn’t you-?”

“Just… just shut up,” Logan said, though there wasn’t any anger in his voice anymore. Just exhaustion- and confusion? Oh… oh no… “Let’s just go home, okay, bub?”

Wade furrowed his brows- if they left now, it meant that guy won, didn’t it? But then he realized, once again- that “joke” about him possibly being a woman? Not nearly as much of a joke, as it turned out!! Did… Did Logan even know about stuff like this? Shit, he might’ve said too much in the heat of the moment… This could be bad.

“Yeah… yeah, peanut. Let’s go…”

—

An awkward silence settled over them both as they walked home. Quite unusual, since usually Wade was yapping about anything and everything whenever they’d go anywhere, even before this little date of theirs!! But he wasn’t in the mood for that- he didn’t even reach for his hand, when he’d been holding it the entire time while they were walking here. He was too anxious over what Logan must think of him now… or maybe he was worried over nothing, and Logan did really just take it as a joke? Wade really hoped that was the case…

Logan abruptly stopped in his tracks, right before they got to their apartment complex, and turned to face Wade. “Wanna tell me what that was about, bub?” he rasped, his tone just accusatory enough to have his blood pressure spiking.

“That Karen??” Wade said, hoping beyond hope that that’s what he meant. “Oh, just a dipshit in public, and you didn’t actually hurt him, so we’re probably fine-“

“No, Wade. What you said. About…” Logan shook his head, tilting his head at Wade with his brow furrowed in confusion… and concern? “…I’m sorry, I just gotta know if you… meant that. If you’d rather I call you… are- are you trans or something??”

…Okay, that was close , and technically correct- but no, Wade wasn’t a woman. Not entirely, anyways... Logan didn’t seem disgusted by the idea, so that part of Wade’s worries was able to shut up!! But… god, this was gonna get even more confusing. “I… well…” Wade paused for a second, trying to figure out how to put this.

“Not judging you here, bub. Just… trying to make sure, so I didn’t accidentally-“

“No- no!! I’m not- well… okay, you’re gonna have to stay with me here, peanut. Alright?” Wade asked, his gaze flitting away from Logan and suddenly finding the cracks in the sidewalk very, very interesting. The gruff man slowly nodded, looking at him patiently.

“I’m not… not a man. But I’m also… not not a woman, either? I might also be some secret third thing, don’t worry about it- just, I don’t really even care that much!! Trust me!! It’s just…” Wade nervously chuckled- it seemed so simple in his mind, but Logan had to be so confused right now, right? “…You don’t gotta change anything with my name or nothing, it’s just- a long while back, I kinda figured out that… my gender, it’s… more complex than just a man?? If that makes any sense…?”

Logan was looking at Wade, trying to decipher his words. As soon as Wade saw that face, his heart dropped- he knew that would all be too much too soon… Maybe he should just pretend he was joking after all? It’d be much easier that way-

“…Okay? I can’t say I’ve heard of that before, but… Wade. You know I don’t give a fuck, right?” For a moment, Wade glanced up at Logan, really hoping he wasn’t calling him ridiculous or anything. It was always hard to explain this to people, which is why he usually just… didn’t! But Logan wouldn’t have let him lie about it… he never let him lie about anything anymore!! Something about being able to “smell when he’s lying” or some shit?

“That- no, that sounded bad, what I’m trying to say is…” Logan reached forward to grab his hand again, and Wade felt his heart calm down and fill itself with butterflies at the same damn time. “If… if that’s what you are, I don’t mind. Whatever it is- you know what, just throw the Wikipedia page at me if it has a name, okay?”

Genderfluid. Wade had figured that out with Vanessa long ago, and learning what that meant, why he felt like he fit in with both men and women- but also neither category truly felt like… him? Her? Them, even-? was a massive breath of fresh air at the time. And… Logan was willing to learn. All for him…? Oh, he knew he’d picked right!! Thank God he hadn’t picked the vaguely problematic Logan from the early comic days on accident or something…

“You… you mean it, Logan? I didn’t just blow your mind in a bad way…?” Wade huffed uncomfortably, still not quite believing what he’d just said.

“Ah,” Logan waved off his concerns, stepping closer to give him a hug. Oh, he could cry- Logan hugs were the best… “You’re still Wade, aren’t ya? We’re mutants- people like him hate us for a lot of reasons. Just because I don’t understand something… doesn’t mean it’s any of my business. And- bub…” He stepped back a bit, giving Wade that soft, caring look that always melted his heart. “I’ll try my best to understand. For your sake, alright? I love you…”

Wade genuinely smiled, for the first time since that shitbag ruined their nice day out. “I love you too, peanut. Thanks… really. This means a lot…” he muttered, squeezing him tight before he pulled away.

In return, Logan gave Wade’s hand a tight squeeze. God- always had to try and break his fingers, huh? “No problem, bub…” He muttered something under his breath, making Wade’s heart skip a beat since it sounded suspiciously like, “You mean a lot, so…”

With that heartwarming coming-out story out of the way, they walked back to their apartment as though nothing had happened… and in a way, it really hadn’t!

Because they had each other, didn’t they? And no one's stupid opinion of them would get in the way of their love, no matter how loud and annoying they were about it…

[catboybiologist]

Boymoding is getting exhausting.

And yay, toxic thought time that's going to be anecdotal and probably come off as somewhat sexist. But I hope it doesn't.

The thing that's really wearing down on me is emotional responses, I think. When cis women cry or show emotion as part of their daily routine, it's still taboo, but often accommodated more than others. I'm going through a lot of emotional swings right now, and there's a very stark difference in how those are treated vs how it's treated in others. And I don't know if that'll ever change, tbh, but hopefully at least someone will acknowledge that it's rough. Even with the good, close friends I have, there very much is a gap in what level of emotion elicits sympathy vs ignoring it or treating it as an overreaction in men vs women. I'm a "man" now, and simply don't get the space for that emotional support as a casual daily thing. It's not uncommon for people in academia to cry or be overwhelmed and anxious, and it's becoming more and more obvious how that's treated in men vs women. It's always a thought I had in the back of my head, but I'm noticing it a lot more now that I'm outwardly a man but have a lot more visibly emotional moments.

Its weird. I have made efforts to be more open about bisexuality, and my day to day vibe has gotten fruitier as a result. A lot of cis women friends have gotten closer to me as a result, but they very clearly treat me with a "gay best friend" kinda vibe. Which is honestly fun, but it provides an interesting baseline for the biases people have in how much emotion men vs women are allowed to show, even among good friends.

On the flip side, another thing I'm becoming more acutely aware of (even though I always knew it was a thing, it just feels more pressing now) is how casually women are ignored, talked over, disregarded, etc etc when compared to men in a academia. I've always known this was a problem, but it's been on my mind a lot more recently.

Top all of that off with the endless physical considerations of compressive bras, managing the way I walk, baggy clothes, mitigating dysphoria vs hiding my transition, not accidentally slipping into my shitty voice training voice while going around daily, making time for injections now, taking sublingual pills midday when I was still on those... Yeah. It adds up.

I've tried making my transition an "open secret" by going to social events and queer events femme, and I know word gets around to labmates and such. I just don't know who exactly knows, and the barrier of actually talking to people about it is huge. I really think, for my own sanity, I need to start telling people what's up even before I socially transition.

I'm particularly moody and stressed bc of my qual tomorrow, but yeah. Consider this a toxic unfocused rant. I'll probably have more to say in a more focused way in a couple days.

Oh also. Please don't be like "ooohhh then why are you still boymoding idiot" cuz that's not helpful. There's a right moment to socially transition and I have a plan.

[blank-house]

What does the cast think of alcohol? Do they like it? And if not what are their favourite drinks? I guess this is something we will be seeing in game but i was curious 👀

it'll probably get touched on the game, but generally:

none of them are really hard drinkers and they won't really judge anyone who is or isn't for that matter! (never give into peer pressure, kids.) as the youngest, deja's had the least experience but has sampled a bit of wine and a sip of a beer once or twice with her family, but isn't hugely interested in exploring it either. that doesn't mean she'll say no necessarily. it just means she won't go actively searching for an opportunity either.

percy and elio have tried harder alcohol before. mostly as teenagers because, hell, you're always curious around that age. when he was younger, percy asked everyone for what to order, but has mostly worked it down to the fruitier drinks and the occasional fireball or vodka shot if he's in good company. he doesn't drink to get shit-faced and knows where his limits are and will stop around there.

he gets real red after a certain amount, as is his curse.

elio has a taste for whisky, and is more likely to drink than anyone else. (he has escaped the burden of the asian glow himself, lmao.) he might have a beer at a party or something, but you know. cameron holds their alcohol well, but doesn't drink in abundance even in good company. they tend to just order whatever the bartender recommends or what others are drinking, depending. big fan of soju, but doesn't like the plum flavor.

jamie, likewise, can drink pretty well if he wants to. knows his limit and will draw the line where he knows he needs to. reynah's looser about the alcohol thing at this point, though she was less inclined earlier on. the kinda person who would get bottomless mimosas at a brunch. drinks, but not with the expectation of getting smashed.

as a note, though: if there are events that deal with alcohol, it will be expressed in the invitation for the event so that the player will be able to skip the event if you are uncomfortable. you will also have the option to, if you decide to play the event, decline drinking but participate socially with everyone anyway. say no to peer pressure!

[cringecompilationin480p]

tf2 mercs and the smokes i think they would pick up from a gas station. source: i work at a gas station

reasonings below the cut:

scout: i chose newport red shorts for him because i feel like he would think menthol is for losers. newports to me are a very. basic cigarette. the layman's cig. i also find newports, especially red newports to be a little nasty lol. also i dont see him as much of a cigarette smoker but i do think he smokes every once in a while, esp if hes really stressed out or had a bad match. his 1 box will last him a few months. after a while i think he would switch to newport gold shorts, as theyre lighter.

soldier: i know theres a lot of art of soldier smoking cigars, esp blue soldier. while i don't disagree with that notion, i dont think hes coming into a convenience store and picking up a pack of cigarillos. i went with lucky strike red shorts because theyre an All American cigarette and have been around forever. theyre on the cheaper side as well and he smokes them in Emesis Blue. i didn't go with american spirits because theyre advertised as an "organic" cigarette, and i feel that he would find that to be pretentious and an overall turn off. also american spirits are more expensive.

pyro: i dont think pyro is a tobacco smoker. if the pyro is smoking anything its going to be weed wrapped in a banana backwoods. banana is one of the more strange flavors backwoods has, and i feel like they would go for something on the fruitier side. i also chose backwoods because backwoods fucking rule and the shits look like twigs bc theyre full leaf wraps. i also feel like they would choose banana because none of the other mercs would want to smoke that.

demo: with demo it was more a process of elimination than anything. i dont think he's a cigarette smoker. so i went with a cigarillo because i can so very clearly see him smoking one. i don't think he would go for swishers as a lot of them are fruity, and that doesn't seem up demo's alley. i went with white owl sweets because theyre simple and straight forward, and i feel he would like a pack of sweets. to be honest, im a little shaky on this one, but i don't think anything else would suit him besides like. game greens. to be fair, i don't think he smokes much, and would probably go for something higher quality and hand wrapped if he was smoking a cigar. overall he would get these if he needed something quick and cheap.

heavy: idk about other stores but my store has 1 million dorals and nobody is buying them except for maybe one person every 6 months. heavy is that person. if heavy is smoking anything he's smoking light 100s because i can't see him smoking or liking a rich or full flavor cigarette. also dude is big so he's not getting shorts because they're too small and will be gone in two seconds. these smokes are a mystery to me; i have no idea of the quality or price range. but in my mind i can see him coming up to my counter, asking for these, and leaving without a word.

engie: i almost went with marlboro southern cut for this guy but it felt too on the nose, even if i think he would enjoy the smoke of those. i went with honey bourbon backwoods instead. the flavor seems right up his alley, and i can clearly see him asking for these at a convenience store. as to what he does with them... i can see him smoking them as they come in the package, or using them as a wrap. overall engie looks like he drinks good whiskey, and these cigars look like good whiskey. well... bourbon.

medic: i had a hard time deciding what medic would smoke and went thru all the brands i know of. at first i discounted marlboro because of how commonly bought they are, figuring he would smoke something weirder. but when i came back to it i had figured he would enjoy menthols, and i landed on marlboro menthol blue 100s. he wouldn't go for full flavor, as they would irritate his throat. i feel like smoking these shits would be like sipping cold water after having mint gum. i mean, they're described as "smooth" and "cool." medic is smoking basically spearmint and cold water, but not enough to the point of where he's buying a pack of marlboro ice and its variants of gum package looking cigs.

sniper: i chose cheyenne menthols for him because to me sniper looks like he loves old school shit. the youngest person i have seen come in and buy these has been maybe 40. i don't think he would go for a basic cigarette. cheyennes are box cigars, and a box of these goes for under $3, and typically have more tobacco in them. i feel as if he would enjoy that as well as menthol full flavor, and the smokes themselves are brown instead of white. i can see him smoking a brown looking cigarette so clearly. also the packaging has an outdoorsy look to it lol. basically, i just Know he would go for these. if he was going to go for anything else, he might smoke camel menthol wides. he would also pick up zig zag unbleached cones for his joints.

spy: look we all know spy is smoking that hoity-toity imported french bullshit but if for whatever reason he had to pick up a pack a cigs from a mobil or something it would be parliament blue 100s. i already think he smokes 100s in general, and would go for parliaments because theyre expensive. where im from they sell for like $13 a pack and its always dudes in suits and/or gold chains asking for these things. the packaging isn't an issue here as spy keeps them in a case, but i don't feel like he would turn up his nose at it. overall these are his best option for a gas station cig.

[robertphilip]

ooooh oooohhhhh i’m so curious. what’s the alcohol intake like for robert and giselle. i think we have talked about like, what kind of drunk they are (though please touch on that again because i forgot <3) but also !! like just in general. how often do they have causal drinks, etc? also when morgan is of age (or younger !) does she drink with them ever? this came to me because i just got a little tipsy with my parents and we played a board game and it was a very silly time. but anyway, hit me with that philips knowledge babeyyyy (i may still be slightly tipsy. forgive me.)

so, I don't think they're big drinkers, really buuuut

you know me, I study the background of Robert's apartment like. 24/7 and he has a lot of wine !! and every bottle looks full too, so clearly he isn't drinking it often 💀 and !! he also has a bottle of whiskey, which actually is about half empty, so I'm bringing that up to say, clearly that's what he enjoys. I headcanon that the wine was gifted to him, and he's like, "ah yes. for date nights. which hardly (if ever) happen at my apartment. but I can't get rid of them because that would be rude" he's silly like that.

anyway, Robert is a whiskey man. but I don't think he drinks it that often really. he'd usually have a glass after Morgan went to bed to help him relax before passing out. he did try to drown away his troubles right after his divorce, but that didn't work because he had a baby to take care of. but once she got a little older he allowed himself to drink again. and then, once Giselle moves in, he finds he doesn't really need alcohol to relax, because just being near her helps better than alcohol ever could 🤧

as for what kind of drunk he is, I think he's very mellow, and not much different from how he is sober, really. he's probably more relaxed than usual, and maybe more smiley, but he's not talkative or animated. he just kinda vibes quietly with his drink in hand while everything happens around him. I also think it would take him quite a few drinks to actually get drunk.

for Giselle, I think she mainly sticks with fruity drinks. I'm personally a huge fan of Smirnoff Ice (and I don't care that they've only got like 2 drops of alcohol in them, okay, they're YUMMY) and I feel like that would be her drink of choice, too. the apple flavored one?? and the peach ?? her faves, in my mind. I think she also enjoys a glass of wine every now and then before bed, but I don't know enough to say what kind she'd like.

I also think Giselle is a huge lightweight. two sips of a small bottle of Smirnoff Ice would have her wasted, I fear (she's just like me fr) and Robert finds it absolutely hilarious. It would surprise him at first, but then he's like, "yeah no this makes sense actually... it's Giselle."

I think alcohol also tends to make her pretty sleepy, and, somehow, even more affectionate that she already is. she hangs all over Robert, partially because of that but also because she can't stand, and he's like, "we should probably go to bed now" and she always takes that as a hint and says, "to make love 😏 ?" and always gets so sad when he says no. and as soon as Robert gets her tucked under the blanket, she's knocked out.

one day I will finish my fic where she's drunk for the first time, and then later deals with a hangover. it's so Cute and Funny and ugh. one day...

as for Morgan, I think she'd probably like the fruitier stuff, too. Robert let her try whiskey once and she immediately spit it back out (just like her mother 💖) and he laughs about it. I don't think she's much of a lightweight like Giselle, but I also don't think it would take her much to get drunk, either. I can see her just kind of being relaxed, like Robert is.

while I don't think Robert would want her drinking all the time before she's 21, I can definitely see him letting her taste stuff. like he and Giselle would let her sip a bit of their wine, or whiskey, like I mentioned, and I think they'd probably all enjoy a glass of champagne on New Years Eve. overall I think the rule is, "you can try some so long as we're around" cause he wants her to be safe.

I also think wine is a Big Thing in Andalasia, so she probably tried some when they took their family trips.

and you didn't mention Edward, but I feel I must throw in that he would also be a massive lightweight. somehow even worse than Giselle. and it drives Robert so fuckin crazy. this wedding fic (x) is a good example, but that's also like... god, he can be (and has been) so much worse.

I need to finish my "bachelor party" fic for them where it's just Robert and Edward, and Edward is basically bouncing off the walls while Robert is trying not to 😐🔫 he has to keep reminding himself, "I'm getting married soon, don't end it all now,,,, wedding is soon,,,, happily ever after is almost here...."

[creative-gays]

Welcome ....

.... to the creative gays being weird gays ..

..even though I, as Bean, am probably fruitier. Care to discuss, Tea?

Anyways, we have no idea what the hell we are doing so here, have an intro post.. i guess.

Bean: also known as Ever, or Jest. Main Tumblr is @radioactive-bean. I'm the fluidflux bastard who has a hard time believing romantic love isn't a joke. Oh yeah I write and make character sheets. Can't draw to save my life. I can do math tho. Kind of. I will probably joke more, I really like music and you can tell I'm queer by my music taste alone. I am a short bean and evan likes to make fun of me for it but it's so i can be a goddamn mole and stuff. Oh also I'm a better writer. Hah.

Tea: Also known as Evan. Main tumblr is @evan-animates. I'm the bigender bitch who loves girls and making comics, animations, and regular old art. I write sometimes too, and I have an obsession with Undertale. I am also canonically taller than Ever. *ever's pterodactyl screech can be heard from across the country*

We are just a coupla people who have been friends since that one day we met, then decided "hey i'm bored let's make a blog." So here we are.

We will probably just post random shit we art, and maybe some gay stuff.

Sidenote from Ever: I am going to accidentally reblog stuff to here. Sorry. Will delete.

[white--moon]

His eyes narrow slightly while he tries to decide if he's annoyed or not. "Did you? I musta missed it in everything else you said. Like the joyriding and petting." The last bit is said through clenched teeth because it's getting him worked up and annoyed all over again. "Ugh. I'm gonna have to detail my car tomorrow, just in case."

Well now he's thinking about Renji's dick. Yeesh. He mentally pushes that thought aside. "No, I'm sayin' it 'cause it's true and 'cause they're probably the closest thing to friends I have at the moment, besides you. They're dumbasses, but they're reliable." He snorts though, "Yeah, that sounds great. Maybe I'll try that." He's kidding. He has absolutely no desire to figure out how that would work.

"Close enough." He huffs a little. Close enough. Damn, Ichigo has high standards. He already knew that, though, Ichigo literally said as much. This is easily the fanciest place Shiro's ever been inside of, by leagues. It's not even close.

Could be. He probably should have expected something like that. "Ok." He starts looking through the wine menu instead. He pauses to look up again, "Are we?" Trading questions hadn't been his intention, he was just trying to figure out if he should be getting a bottle of wine. "Yeah, ok. They have an absurd about, I'm sure we can find something." He doesn't know a ton about wine himself, but he knows enough about alcohol in general to muddle his way through the list and find something that should be a little on the sweeter, fruitier side. But Ichigo's asking questions that are potentially more invasive than 'do you like wine', so he lets the menu settle flat on the table and sits up a little, looking over at him. He shakes his head. "No. It was another question I meant to ask when I met my mother. I had a whole list of things I wanted to say and ask. I'd been thinking about it for years. But I didn't ask, and I never tried to look into it. I just assume I do, half siblings, anyway. She might'a only oopsied once, but who knows how many times he oopsed and didn't stick around long enough to find out, right? I'm not sure it matters."

“Why not? They could treat my car with respect and not make me beat ass. Everybody wins.” Why is this becoming the most stressful part of his day? Probably because it’s just stressful enough to focus on but not nearly as heavy as the entire Yhwach situation. “It’s fine.” He says again, not sure if he’s trying to convince himself or Ichigo, or trying to manifest that it actually turns out fine. “I’ll see how it goes this time before I decide if we park and walk next time.”

A smirk tugs at one corner of his mouth and he huffs an amused breath. “They’re probably my best workers.” That doesn’t mean they’re not idiots -but kind of affectionately. He likes those two from a personal standpoint more than the rest of his crew. “Maybe that’s telling about the rest of ‘em. If only it was as easy as putting a Now Hiring sign up and accepting applications.”

He flips his menu open kind of as an afterthought, after realizing Ichigo’s looking through it. He’s really thinking about how he can get a drink sooner. “Damn. Even I can pronounce this.” He squints. “Most of it… The translated parts.” But he’s kidding. Not only did he say they’d both look stupid if neither of them could read the menu and kind of mean it, but if Ichigo’s displeased with this attempt, then there really is no pleasing him without plane tickets.

He finds the drink menu first, though he doesn’t particularly need it. Then, true to form, he picks two appetizers, an entree, and he’s eyeballing the dessert menu even though they haven’t even ordered yet. He flips through those for a second, then goes back to the main menu, then realizes there’s a lot of wine suggestions, which he should have expected given the class. He glances up with a serious expression. “Are you a wine kind'a guy?” He obviously already knows Ichigo’s not a neat whisky kind of guy, but wine’s different.

[smug-wolf]

Got any teensie headcanons about their drinking habits? And if so, what are they like when they're drunk :0

I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS. I briefly discussed this in a VC with some friends but never directly answered you. Apologies. Ahem.

I'd say they tend to appreciate fruitier or sweeter drinks. With the amount of "plum juice" (which I personally always figured is actually plum wine) found in Rayman 3, I'd say that's probably a pretty popular choice for lots of Teensies! Considering the fact the plums are hallucinogenic BEFORE fermentation, I'd say the wine is probably pretty strong? Idk. I am actually NOT super knowledgeable about alcohol. I mean... Globox got fucked up, but hes also drinking an entire barrel at once, but hes ALSO a lot bigger than a Teensy so he can handle alcohol better in general probably. TLDR for this section- Teensies like plum wine, its pretty strong so they have to watch the amount of it they drink.

NEXT BIT. They absolutely get so cuddly. They will pick a buddy (whether they do this consciously or not) and just cling to them the rest of the night. They probably also get a bit sleepy so they'll stumble around a little, and if they get wasted enough they'll start walking with their full feet in an attempt to stay more balanced(my Teensies are now digitigrade and walk on their toes :3 ) which has the silly effect of making them look shorter. Their magic becomes unstable due to their altered state, so spells will become a bit unpredictable in the sense of effectiveness or if they even work at all. Then there's the typical things like slurring words and maybe getting overconfident and stuff...

I don't think abt chars drinking a lot but this was a fun thing to explore actually. I had the mental image of Ales trying some of Mr. Dark's pinot noir and HATING it because its SO DRY and he just cannot deal BUT it's MR. DARK so he has to be cool and relatable to him!!!! So he just pretends he likes it and toughs it out but he thinks its so so yucky.

[kaija-rayne-author]

So, my eldest son is a wonderful enabler when it comes to subtly pissing off my homophobic family.

My natural hair shade is a dark mink brown. Pretty enough, even though it's really bloody obvious I'm mixed race with my natural hair shade. I've been lightening it for decades because I love using artificial colour dyes (blues, greens, purples), or dyeing it red.

But the pandemic prohibited me from going to my stylist to get it bleached. (I'm perfectly happy to dye it myself, but bleaching is scary.)

So along with saying that I wouldn't cut my (then above shoulder length hair) until the pandemic was actually over, I dyed it darker, close to my natural shade because it was just easier to deal with when I thought it'd be a year or less before the pandemic was over. Which, sadly, it is not. People are just sick of hearing about it so the press doesn't report on it.

Gov'ts only care about getting workers back to work (which is so short sighted, covid inflicts actual brain damage and disables workers, so who exactly is going to be working 5 years from now? Many fewer people.) They don't care about their people. That's eminently obvious at this point.

Saying I wouldn't cut my hair until the pandemic was over was, ah, probably not the best idea. (And yes, I can cut it any time, I'm autistic/ADHD, not stupid.)

Apparently, I have the Rapunzel gene. (Gene Lhx2 and possibly mutations to FGF5, if you're curious.)

In the 3 plus years of the pandemic, my hair has gone from above shoulder length to being thigh length, with no hint it's going to stop growing any time soon.

Mr. Enabler suggested I do some fun colours in it since my father wants to visit.

So I did.

Here comes the 'jeez kids are brutally honest' part.

I didn't bleach it, so the colours are very subtle. My eldest said I look like a fruit by the foot. (Fruit roll up brand we have here.)

So, apparently I'm even fruitier now than I already was. Considering I'm queer AF, that's pretty damned fruity 🤣.

[tiny-elf-of-doom]

Ghost Perfume 👻

Papa Emeritus Edition

Papa Emeritus I

-A man of the classics; he has to cover that old man smell somehow. He might have gone for a scent such as Dunhill or even Maurer & Witz 4711 as a young man, but to make sure his fragrances stay somewhat up to date, he would probably enjoy “Boss” by Hugo Boss. It’s slightly sweetened with apple and plum, but countered by hefty spice and floral notes such as vetiver and geranium. Of course, his youngest brother had to help him choose it, but once they matched him with this scent, it’s been one of his absolute favorites. 

Papa Emeritus II

-When you party hard and lead a church, you want your fragrance to be as memorable as you, so Papa will likely have more than one option. If he’s in Las Vegas, I can see him wanting something bold that will last all night. Spicebomb Infrared by Viktor and Ralph combines red fruit, tobacco, and cinnamon- very sexy. Second, if he’s doing a sermon, he would still want to maintain some of that edge, but with a touch of elegance. Gentleman by Givenchy featuring lavender, clove, and vanilla will rest well upon his robes.

Papa Emeritus III

-This boy knows his scents. You know those pretty mirror plates that Instagram girls have perfume sitting in? Right, he has a shelf like that for all his pretty bottles. Considering he is all for the drama and flirtation, something dark with a hint of glamour would suit his fancy. Black Phantom by Kilian is a rich, decadent fragrance that features coffee, rum, and cyanide. Deadly, yet incredibly elegant, the Third might also want something fruitier on casual days which is why the pineapple and pink pepper scents of Accento by Xerjoff might be a good match. 

Papa Emeritus IV

-Not a perfume or fragrance man. Instead, he has a secret weapon up his papal robes: Molecule 01 by Eccentric Molecules. This has no scent, but its chemical properties work off the wearer’s pheromones', creating its own original smell. This has likely gone one of two ways for the Fourth in either people love his natural odor, or they think he really stinks. Either way, there are no aspects to his fragrance that hides him. Authenticity should be the name of his personal brand of perfume as he doesn’t mind flaunting what he has. 

[friendlycursedspaceotter]

OK I FOUND A WAY TO DO THIS

Essentially the mind wipe Ace gets at the end of "Soldier Obscura" goes too deep, leaving her vulnerable to suggestion by outside parties. Which is unfortunate, because after her return to Earth, she gets captured by a homophobic cult that takes advantage of her mental state to, well, you know, make her into the very model of a vaguely capitalistic straight adult woman. Typical "the UK countryside in the 90s" stuff. They try to make her a full-on venture capitalist, but this is Ace we're talking about here. She would never go for it. She's being subtly manipulated this entire time, and no one in her life is in on it. It's just, well, the way she is.

Fast-forward a few years. She's married to a decently nice guy (for the sake of me not wanting to look up names, let's call him Jeremy) and he... he definitely suspects that his wife isn't straight. You see, Jeremy unfortunately keeps dating lesbians, and he thinks that he finally landed the one. Power of the Doctor happens, the cult lets her snap back to her old self, and then undoes it. But, keep in mind, she's essentially recovered from Brax. Their tactics won't work as effectively a couple decades out.

And that cult? They're planning something with some aliens (this is literally me writing out a plot so I don't forget it) to take over the world. And their plan would have worked, if it wasn't for the meteoric rise of Chappell Roan.

Like, Ace is going about normal stuff, surfing radio channels and stuff (I feel like she would feel pretty good about expanding her music taste) and "Good Luck, Babe!" comes on. And it sounds strangely familiar. This would be the part where I draw a tiny little comic about Ace sitting in her car outside the grocery store as the song plays and then googling the "am I gay" quiz. Because Jeremy's nice. He's just not like that.

Two months later, Ace has made a PowerPoint presentation that's a far cry from her usual business meeting reports. It's a simple white title slide with lowercase Comic Sans letters reading "help".

The next slide has a screenshot with the test results that read "we don't know if you're bi or a lesbian dealing with comphet, but you are definitely Not Straight".

Jeremy's face sinks. "Damn it, another one?"

Ace hands him her phone with another "am I gay" quiz on it. He takes it, and lo and behold, Jeremy is fruitier than the whole of the produce aisle. He just thought that "arbitrarily picking pretty women to have crushes on while ignoring the cute boy literally right there" was normal. They quietly get divorced, Ace gets therapy, and a few months later, police start getting reports of a motorcycle-riding vigilante. They then give up because cops are kind of stupid and their jobs were miraculously getting easier. Because yeah, nobody ever wanted to work, but society made them.

Also she convinces Teagen to get divorced, too, and they get married and adopt a couple cats (I'm convinced Nyssa's just living as a local ghost story in the woods because she realized that, wow, if she plays her cards right, she could live a really long time, and also I think cabins in the woods are just extremely gay, and the nearby town thinks she's a witch. But really, she's just doing science in the woods. Normal lesbian behavior.). They also probably adopt half to all of the UNIT custody kids just so they all have a chance at normalcy. Kate gifts them a giant number of child leashes to try and help the situation, but it doesn't do anything.

also rose temple-noble comes by sometimes and just becomes even more awesome because wow, punk work aunt by marriage who teaches rose about the Old Ways (read: looking cool, doing cool stuff, and all the queer codes from the 80s as well as some actual codes that she started to remember from her time in the CIA). i'm also half-convinced that they write each other letters in gallifreyan just to mess with kate and the rest of unit because while ace is a civilian consultant, she still hates the concept of the military and wants to mess with them as much as possible.

Ace really had two really incredible canonical endings (becoming a time lord or becoming a vigilante on a time bike) and the nuwho writers decided to go with the “she became a billionaire ceo” ending instead. Literally the worst one.

[havoc-bloom]

General Headcanons For (Most Of) The Dreams of An Insomniac Characters!!

(Excluding Lankmann cause I’ve already posted about him more than enough)

HC’s under the cut!!

Clyde:

- He’s so fucked up /pos

- Enjoys metal/rock, would listen to Mindless Self Indulgence

- If he tries hunting/chasing you I feel like you could distract him with candy

- Scary on the outside but an absolute sweetheart, especially with Winfrey (they’re boyfriends /hj)

- Prankster man, would place a banana peel on the ground and wait for you to comically slip and fall over it

- Eeeevil evil mischievous fellow

- About as straight as a curly fry

- Me, seeing Winfrey and Clyde: “oh my god, they were roommates :0”

- He has an evil laugh that he practiced in the mirror. Please tell him it’s cool and evil and maniacal.

Winfrey:

- Winfrey, my sweet baby boy. You poor poor thing.

- I CAN FIX HIM I SWEAR

- Winfixed AU gives me life (thanks Tigera)

- Plays violin extremely well, but can also play the piano

- If you ask him to play Megalovania he will bite you.

- Yes, he bites.

- His “theme song” may be Your Consenting Mind from Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion according to Pastra, but damnit his anthem will always be Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear by Mitski in my heart and soul.

- Unironically used to not really acknowledge him because the other characters felt like they overshadowed him BUT THEN I MET @/tigerarainbowra-blog and my worldview has been CHANGED in the best way possible

- Me: (slaps the top of Winfrey’s head) “You won’t believe how much angst you can fit in here.”

- Really really heavy British accent, at least before he Went Feral™

- If the floor is being straight, then this man is crawling on the ceiling.

Klaus:

- What a douchebag /lh

- Reeks of birthday cake (he uses it to lure in kids to kill; I headcanon that Veldigun can change the way they smell and either completely nullify it or amplify it to make whoever they’re hunting more afraid or unaware of them) but also smells like blood and death.

- Absolutely vile, both in terms of personality and physical appearance

- Buried childhood trauma (he dares not talk abt it)

- Literally just needed some emotional help as a kid and if he got it he would’ve turned out fine, but somehow he got more fucked up with no thanks to the Lankmann Foundation.

- I can make anyone have sympathy for any character. Making people feel bad for Klaus is proof of that.

- Listens to Insane Clown Posse and Melanie Martinez

- He’s angry. He’s so, so angry, all the time. I wonder what put that anger in him.

Jack:

- GET HIM THERAPY JESUS FUCK

- I can fix him I promise

- We need to get him OUT of his toxic-ass relationship with Klaus, like right now. Let him be happy. Please.

- Looks up to Klaus even though he knows he’ll never be respected in the same way.

- He likes breakcore lmfao, also he listens to 100 gecs unironically /pos

- I like to think he makes kandi bracelets and he made matching ones for him and Klaus. Even tho Klaus is a bitch he still never takes off the bracelet, and neither does Jack.

- Sends the most cursed of memes at the most unholy times of night. You’ll get a notification from him at 6:06 AM and it’s just a radically blurred image of a cockroach with the caption “daniel.”

- Really truly just wants to continue making toys for kids.

- Has ate drywall and will do so again

Simon:

- Pleasant little farm boy

- He constantly smells like he just walked out of a barn, probably because he did. You get used to it (eventually).

- LOVES ANIMALS SO SO MUCH

- Animals > people, would rather chill with Flock for the day than actually socialize.

- Suppresses his Southern accent a lot but when he gets angry or super excited you’ll hear the Country™ in his voice.

- Kind of jarring hearing a Texas accent come out of a Canadian tbh

- I want his hand in marriage /hj

- autistic  /hj

- So far back into the closet he may as well be that one sweater from the 3rd grade you could never find again. Fruitier than Froot Loops but completely oblivious about it.

The Flock:

- BIRD MOMENT

- Yes, it can fly.

- Yes, it can purr.

- No, you cannot pet it.

- Does that thing snakes do where they curl up into little coils and rest their head on the top. Yeah that.

- Also does that thing hognose snakes do where they’ll play dead if they feel threatened, but instead they do it to lure in prey into thinking they’re an easy meal.

- Like a parrot it can mimic voices.

- Jack taught it to say curse words and now anytime someone gets near it’s just “BITCH”

- Will eat Cheez-Its out of your hand

Mortimer Gray:

- Oh, this poor motherfucker. This unfortunate fellow. He has been through so much.

- Overworked, underpaid artist.

- Serious burnout, but dammit if he’s getting paid he’ll get it done.

- Artblock 24/7, creatively exhausted. Just leave him alone for a while, please.

- Had a sparkledog phase, is now definitely a furry /hj

- Self esteem issues? He’s got all of them. Every single one.

- Anxiety to the fucking max

- I relate a few songs to him, namely Bag Of Bones by Mitski (burnout central haha) and Against The Kitchen Floor by Will Wood (honestly I was listening to it while drawing him and now it’s just kinda,, a thing I relate him with now.)

- Help me I kin him

[miekasa]

random boyfriend levi hcs (modern au)

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, fluff, i feel like he would honestly just be a quiet, gentle soul if given the opportunity to relax for once in his life lmao

↯ notes: i was planning to do some levi hcs, and then i got a request for them so yay! here you go, enjoy!

Has a carafe and fills it every morning (because he finishes it every day). He also absolutely does get his 6-8 glasses of water in on the daily thank you very much.

Oh he likes bubble baths. Not into lighting a thousand candles around him (altho he does like candles). Maybe one or two. Doesn’t stay for very long, but does like to get a good soak every once in a while, after he’s already showered of course.

Likes showering with you. A lot. Not necessarily for sexual antics, but he just likes it. Likes it a lot when you get all soapy and then hug him. 10/10. Although shower sex is always a welcome added bonus.

Fluffs your pillows for you in the morning behind your back. Not sure why it’s a secret for him, but it just is.

He’s like a fucking VIP member at SoulCycle or some shit and enjoys taking you with him to the classes just to see you sweat and suffer LMAO

Doesn’t mind doing things late at night with you, actually prefers it to some extent. Just don’t ask him to do anything dumb.

“Do you wanna walk to McDonald’s and get a McFlurry?” “No. I fucking hate McDonald’s and it’s 2am.” ....... “Do you want to drive around and maybe get some chinese food on our way back?” “... I’ll get the keys, let’s go.”

Surprisingly, likes to bake. It’s somewhat relaxing and therapeutic for him. He’s not the best at things like brownies and cakes and icing and decorating and all of that, but is really good at smaller, I suppose more refined desserts.

Think things like little fruit tarts, lemon squares, creme brûlée. Things that might not require a lot of ingredients, but are very particular in technique.

He doesn’t mind cooking though. But he likes cooking for other people best, not to mention he can be picky about his take-out. It can become a chore to him otherwise (and you can miss him with that meal-prepping bullshit), but he doesn’t mind cooking dinner if he knows it’s for you and him to share. And is willing to honor any particular meal request you might have.

Not exactly a wine connoisseur, but he doesn’t mind having a glass with you when you ask. He keeps bottles you and his friends get for him, but he doesn’t know shit about tasting and pairing and all that. If he needs to know or needs a recommendation, he’ll ask Erwin.

Into niche home design things like lighting fixtures, finding the perfect handles for his furniture and drawers, and things of that nature.

Very much a DIY kind of guy, and your fixer-upper. Need to assemble furniture? Fix a broken TV? Re-tile your bathroom floors? Levi’s your guy.

Loves candles. Not super sweet smelling ones like birthday cake and vanilla bean, but loves lighter, fruitier scenes like eucalyptus mixes, lemon, even sage. Always has candles on hand and never misses a single Bath and Body Works sale.

On that note, yes he does coupon. Why wouldn’t he? Capitalism already sucks and everything is so expensive, he’ll take a bargain where he can get it.

Never owned a speaker because he never saw any use for it, but one day, you coerced him into having a mini-karaoke session while you were cooking together and he found out he enjoyed it quite a bit. (The music playing a loud, not the karaoke. Even though he’s a pretty decent singer).

So when you bought him a record player for his birthday, it easily became one of his most valued possessions. And he’s really enjoyed collecting vinyls.

Other than that, he’s open to most kinds of music, and likes it if you make playlists for him—otherwise he’ll just listen to whatever you have made.

Levi and Erwin are presidents of the Beyhive but you didn’t hear that from me. Nothing but respect for THEIR Queen Bey.

Enjoys taking walks and going running when the weather is nice, and likes having you along with him. It’s actually on occasion on which he prefers to hold your hand in public. You don’t always talk much, but it’s still nice and Levi really relishes in it.

Genuinely laughs out fucking loud whenever you put a face mask on and cannot take you seriously for the next 20-35 minutes LMAO

“Hey, Casper, did you want me to get you a glass of water on my way back.” “FUCK YOU MY SKIN IS GLOWING LEVI!! GLOWING!!”

Despite that, he still fucking steals your other skin scare!! Like retinol isn’t expensive as hell!!

Likes getting massages from you, and may or may not have feigned or exaggerated soreness form his workouts a few times to get one.

Fucking hates pumping gas, but doesn’t trust the little brats at the gas station to do it for him, and would rather eat a pair of jeans than let you get out and get gawked at, so he does it himself.

If you’re in public doing something/looking at something and taking too long, Levi will just start nudging you to get you moving. Like if you’ve already spent 10 minutes looking at different pasta shapes in the grocery store, he’ll put a hand on your waist and slowly usher you back to the cart so you can actually finish your shopping (and go the fuck home).

On that note, he pulls you/grabs at you quite a bit, usually to out the way of other people or harms way (or so he claims). For example, pulls you back further onto the sidewalk while you’re waiting at the crosswalk; further away from the lines on the ground near trains and busses; away from Hange.

Really likes kissing you. Not in public, but doesn’t mind having you all over him in private. And honestly, when he wants it, he doesn’t mind being all over you either.

He’s a particularly big cuddle bug in the morning bye.

Likes it when you drive. Mostly because he can just chill in the passenger seat and take a nap.

LMAO he can’t ride a bicycle. If you taught him, he’d probably pick up pretty quickly, but nobody ever taught him so he doesn’t know how yet.

(When you find this out, you’re VERY eager to teach him and Levi feels like he might have finally met his demise). “Do you want some training wheels, Levi? I saw a pretty pink pair in the toy store on the way here.” “No, fuck you, I just need to find my balance—hey, don’t let me go! Do you want me to die???”

Despite not liking having his photo taken, he’s a pretty good photographer and doesn’t mind taking pictures of you.

Keeps a picture of you and him inside his wallet. You don’t know that it’s there.

Despises the dentist with every fiber of his being and would not fucking go if you didn’t force him to. Seriously, you have to book the appointment for him and everything or else he’s just not make one or go.

And it’s not even like he has bad teeth?? They’re fine, maybe just in need of the regular professional cleaning. He just hates people prodding inside his goddamn mouth.

Which is very weird and you tease him very loudly about because he’s fine with the doctor?? And the ophthalmologist?? And everything else but the dentist LMAO

Quite spontaneous with dates in all honesty. Sometimes he just sees shit or has an idea and asks you if you’d be down.

Not one for cliche coupley items, but you do have matching sneakers. (They’re his favorite pair of sneakers).

Picks up things you’ve left laying around and puts them in their proper place. “Levi have you seen my—” “It’s on your desk. Where it belongs.”

Museum dates! Not that he cares for the pompous air of museums, but objectively they’re nice. Quiet, pretty objects, clean. Overall, not so bad. Just don’t take him to a fucking history museum.

Has a habit of kissing the palm of your hand. It’s his silent way of telling you he loves you.

Lays his head on your lap when you’re sitting on the couch. Claims he’s not keeping up with your shows but secretly is. Curls up into a ball and takes a nap halfway through tho.