#probably expired candy I dunno

[chaoticlad]

So uh- I kinda wanted to write about what my mutual/pal's art tastes like

@cassoliravioli - BBQ lays? (crunchy/soft?)

@k1ra0nloose - Krispy Kreme. The glazed ones (sweet/crunchy?)

@bear-boi-5 - The blue cotton candy. SPECIFICALLY the blue ones (soft)

@tophatwearingidiot - pancakes with syrup and strawberries (sweet/soft)

@inkvoid4 - any type of classic/BBQ chip or a twix candy bar (crunchy)

@blveblvrr - any good Gatorade flavor with a sugar cookie (sweet)

@mike-milkyway - classic Oreos, with or without the milk (sweet/crunchy)

yeah apologies for tagging y'all for something so stupid

the lil () means what flavor it would usually taste like or what I imagine the texture would be, but some food I added might now match (again, apologies 😔)

[derangedanomaly]

Boys with an S/O who's love language is food gifting

MASTERLIST

BAD SANSES X READER WHO'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS FOOD GIVING

NIGHTMARE:

Doesn't understand why you're giving him the food to be honest. Like, he doesn't really have that much of a big appetite.. (<- is how he sees it)

He probably (at first) won't take it from you, until you shove it in his face and force him to take. (And it also hurt your feelings)

Lmao, this dude's an overall asshole, so he won't probably return the favor. (Unless...)

He'll give you candy.. once every week.

He's not one for food giving.. oh but GIFT GIVING?? That's where it's at for him. Will literally buy you a diamond ring and all that expensive stuff.

Crazy that he'll give you like a million worth purse/bag but won't give you food. 💀

KILLER:

HE FEELS LOVED FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND IT'S A BEAUTIFUL FEELING.

Will cherish every food you'll give him.

He'll try to reciprocate this gift of yours, but the food he'll give you will probably be like...expired or something. I dunno.

Giggles like a school girl whenever you give him food.

Jokes a little about it. "Heh, what am I? A rat?" <- Cue him laughing his ass off.

DUST:

Tilts his head, is in pure confusion.

Why are you giving him food? He doesn't normally receive any type of gift.

Lmao, he doesn't even know how to properly thank you, so he just awkwardly pats your head.

But don't stop giving him food! He loves it, just doesn't know how to show it.

He thinks it's sweet.

His love language is quality time, so he just probably spends the whole day with you, doing whatever.

Claims it as a date afterwards. ^^

HORROR:

Nearly cried the first time you gave him food. :(

You instantly become his favorite on his list.

He probably won't be able to give you the same gift, he will try to give you food. But more... inhumane.. (human parts probably 💀)

He just loves you so much and he doesn't know how to show it!

So what does he do? Yep, that's right, he shows you love not through gifts, but more through touch. (Only if you'll be ok with that.)

His love language is physical touch.

Good luck ever getting rid of him now.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Resurface 16 - Regard

What went before

Yes, this was just going to be a single explanatory paragraph, but I swear whenever I get within 3ft of the inside of Scott’s brain it all spirals… so… ah I dunno *flings words*.

Let’s just say that the fact the sequel with have the square of the number of chapters of the original fic is symbolic of how, when buried, issues like these can escalate into something much bigger and more uncontrollable over time? That sounds plausible. Definitely deliberate then. Yep.

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

A digital landslide of distracting paperwork loomed entirely unheeded as Scott sat perched on the edge of the desk with his back to it, sipped his coffee and focussed intently on the security feed John had routed to his tablet.

Virgil was sleeping again.

Gordon had unloaded the contents of a cabinet on to an empty bed and was methodically sorting through, discarding some items, probably expired, and placing the rest neatly back into place. On another occasion Scott would have commented on the contrast with the squid’s approach to just about every other space he inhabited, but recognised the action for what it was. He touched the screen as if to stroke tiny Gordon’s head than jumped a little as his fish brother looked up suddenly like he was aware of it. The door opened and Grandma popped her head through and Scott let out an embarrassed breath. Of course, how could Gordon have felt anything? Scott grudgingly acknowledged that it may have been possibly a little too long since he last slept but it was what it was. Sleep wasn’t an option yet.

He watched, as Grandma and Gordon conversed and, seemingly satisfied, she left again. Gordon dropped himself into the chair next to Virgil’s bed and rested his head back. Within a few minutes he appeared to have nodded off.

A cloud shifted and a ray of sunlight crept across the floor and nudged him. Scott stretched like a cat and basked in it for a moment, before carrying the tablet over to the window. He spared the ocean a glance - it continued to do its thing, oblivious of the turmoil on the island it held in its arms.

He returned his attention to the feed. Gordon definitely sparked out, slumped down in the chair until he was nearly horizontal. Virgil was… Scott squinted… ok he was still sleeping too. The lack of sound meant big brother was spared the overwhelming sensory experience of the wingmen snoring in concert.

Good. This was good. Both their minds needed the rest and time to heal. Scott could keep an eye on them from here.

Was this what it was like for John all the time? Observing from above but unable to reach out and touch? Scott didn’t rate it at all. His need for physical proximity to a brother in distress was like an itch. No… a bruise… a nasty deep bruise… or… or perhaps the feeling left behind when one lost a limb. He grudgingly admitted this was better than lurking outside the door, however.

When John had appeared through it moments after Gordon had left, Scott had rolled his eyes so hard it made the tense muscles behind his eyebrows throb. He knew when he was about to be Managed, but when John still looked so vulnerable Scott couldn’t upset him more. So he allowed it. And thus he was up here in the sunshine with access to coffee and what he suspected was the spoils of a Gordon-related raid on Kayo’s secret candy stash. The consequences of that could be dealt with later.

He felt a little… uncomfortable… watching this way but was it really any different to sitting by his brother’s bedside? Not really. Well. Maybe a little. There was the consent issue… what would Virgil say if he knew? Would he be angry?

But… he reminded himself yet again… it wasn’t actually that Virgil didn’t want his big brother around, it was just his brain was struggling to explain the presence of two of them at once. And while all the articles Scott had consumed in the last 29 hours confirmed one shouldn’t play along with the delusions, they were also clear that it wasn’t a good idea to challenge or to try to reason him out of them. And Scott’s physical existence was currently proving to be such a challenge. Grandma had spoken to the psychiatrist and established they just had to wait until the meds started to kick in and the hallucinations lessened enough for reality to take precedence and then Scott could take his rightful place by Virgil’s side again.

Which was fine. At least he could keep an eye on things from here. He was an adult and of course he could be patient and focus on how fortunate it was they had a solution they knew would work for Virgil.

The fact that Scott was constantly fantasising about drop kicking this “other” Scott into the ocean was one he needed to keep to himself. He put the tablet down, drained his coffee and went to make another, tearing himself away from the screen for long enough to give himself a brief reprieve from the eye-strain headache that was developing. He leant over the kitchen sink and splashed cold water over his stinging, reddened eyes.

It was going to be fine.

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

[thornescratch]

Which Teammate Would You Dress Up As?

Orlov: I dunno. Kuzy! (laughs) You know, he's kinda crazy a little bit all the time. He's laugh, loud, funny. So, probably him. Ovechkin: Spronger. (laughs) Because he's funny. Mantha: Ovechkin. Everyone knows who he is, so everyone would compliment your costume. Hagelin: I'd dress up as O. Go as a hockey player, scoring goals. Good, big curve on the stick, and just be happy all day.

What Is Your Favorite Halloween Candy?

Mantha: I would always trade my chocolates against any type of candies. If it was sour patch kids, I would go all in for those. Hagelin: Uhhh, I'm big into sour candy, I think it's a-- the watermelon [sour patch candies] is a great flavor. Kuznetsov: I'll say Snickers probably. The chocolate for me, that's the best. Ovechkin: Yeah, I like Skittles. Orlov: Ah, overall I like all candies. Ice cream. Whatever have sugar and sweet. (laughs)

What Candy Do You Give Out On Halloween?

Mantha: Probably a little bit of everything. Soft candies, and a couple chocolates... I'm more of a sweet tooth for soft candies and my fiancee loves chocolate better, so it would be a mix of both. Orlov: Uh, whatever I buy. (laughs) In the store, you know. I usually like... small Snickers, Kit-Kats. Kuznetsov: I dunno. Probably some expired candy. (giggles at length) Hagelin: Lotta chocolate, Snickers, Twix. Those are my two favorites.

What Is Your Dream Halloween Costume?

Kuznetsov: You know the turtles, like four of them, like Michelangelo, Donatello, you know if you can get the real one and learn how to jump and do all that stuff so you can surprise the people and all, that would be cool. Ovechkin: Uh.... Superman? Mantha: I think I would go with The Rock. Just, be, try to go bald and then probably have to add fifty pounds on my body? That would be my costume. Hagelin: A real astronaut outfit with the whole kit. That'd be pretty cool.

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork—AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.

[fruit-teeth]

Caramel

(UGH SO HERE IT FINALLY IS! This is what I’ve been working on the past few days, and it’s an idea I’ve been entertaining for a while. This will be part of a multi-chapter fic, but I wanna know what you guys think! After all, I don’t know if anyone else before now has written a fanfic where the central character is the Fried Chicken Tramp who had one line in ‘Expiration Date’, but here you have it. You didn’t ask for it, but it’s here, and I hope you all like it.) 

There are lots of things one could say about Carla Wilde. The first being that she didn’t like to be called Carla—if you called her Carla, she’d give you the dirtiest look and correct you.

“It’s Caramel,” she would insist, in the lowest and most menacing voice she could muster.

The reason for her nickname has been debated, but she says and maintains to this day that it was because of one specific incident when she was in third grade: a teacher had passed out candies to students as a reward, and little Carla had somehow wound up with a chewed, sticky caramel candy in her blonde hair, and it was so bad the teacher had to cut the mass of sweetness out with the craft scissors. After this, the other children took to calling her “Caramel Head”, which upset her very much at first, as it would any small girl at that age. The nickname eventually was shortened to “Caramel”, and do you know what the tragic thing is? As time passed, she began to answer to it.

She was flawed, and she knew it, too. She felt embarrassed about having a poor work ethic and not having a job, and equally embarrassed about being forced to live with her father, despite being well into her twenties at this point.

It was here, at age twenty-six, that Caramel Wilde had the loudest, most explosive argument with her father in their apartment, one that every neighbor heard but acted like they didn’t hear. Moments later, Caramel was shoved onto the sidewalk outside the door, suitcase clutched in her hand as her father shouted the following statement at her:

“You’re never gonna be shit, Carla! If you wanna be a fucking tramp, get out of my house and start being a tramp on the streets like all the other women!”

Caramel whirled around, her hand clenching with rage around the suitcase’s handle and she barked back, “It’s Caramel, you fucking pig!” before spitting in his face.

She was homeless, now, and she was alone. She had nowhere to go—she could go back to her father and beg his forgiveness, but she wasn’t that kind of woman. She never had been, and she had promised herself that she never would be. She would prove him wrong, she had to prove him wrong.

Caramel leaned against the side of a nearby building to consider her options, but she was too hungry to think. She had money, some bills stashed in her wallet, and she knew that would at least get her some fried chicken from the diner.

Now Caramel has been and always will be an enigma to many, since she is the embodiment of the age-old question, “How can a skinny girl eat like that and still stay skinny?” Caramel herself wasn’t sure how she could eat the fat-filled and sugary diet she did and still have a decent figure, but she never questioned it. She was beautiful, she attracted men, and she slept with many of them, yet a relationship with any of them was undesired.

But wouldn’t luck have it that night that one of these men she had slept with in the past happened to be at the same diner where she had stopped to comfort eat? Not just any man, but the young man who had only identified himself to Caramel as “The Scout” (she didn’t understand why but hadn’t asked him at the time).

He recognized her from across the diner, and without thinking he walked right up to her and slapped a hand on her shoulder in greeting.

“Hey!” Scout greeted loudly as if he were greeting an old friend. “Long time no see!”

Caramel almost choked on the chicken she was hunched over, and she looked up in bewilderment. “What? Huh?”

“You remember me, right?” he sat down right next to her at the counter, grinning at her. “You gotta, no one ever forgets me,”

It clicked in less than a minute, and Caramel gasped slightly. “Oh! You—yeah, I remember you,” she cleared her throat, wiping roughly at her mouth with a napkin. “What’s, uh, what’s up?”

Scout shrugged. “I dunno, I just wanted to see how you were doin’ since I last saw you. I mean, I ain’t really seen you since, but…”

“Did you wanna hook up again?” she asked, a little blunt, but that was her style.

Scout seemed as though he was caught off guard for a moment. “Uh—well, I dunno, if you want, I guess. I just wanted to catch up with ya, really,”

Caramel looked skeptically at him. He definitely wanted sex out of her, why else would he be talking her up? She wouldn’t mind sleeping with him again, but this would be her first time sleeping with the same man twice. Still, she sighed, shrugging. “Well, thanks. My life’s pretty shit right now, but I’m glad there’s some kinda friendly face here,”

Scout tilted his head at her, his face changing to a look of concern. “Aw, what happened? Hey, you want a drink? ‘Cause I can get you a drink—”

Caramel held up the glass of lemonade she was sipping at. “I got one, thanks,”

“I-I meant like…” Scout tried to explain himself. “An alcohol drink, or whatever. So you don’t feel shitty,”

It was tempting, but given her current circumstance, she knew better. “Nah, but thanks for the offer,”

There was a short pause between them before Scout cleared his throat. “Uh, okay. So…are you, like…busy with anything?”

Caramel was about to tell him off, to demand that he shut up and leave her alone, but a thought popped into her head when she saw the earnest look in his eyes and realized he really wanted to do something nice for her. Why? Probably because he wanted to have sex with her again (although, he really could just say that outright, she preferred men who were direct about it) but Caramel didn’t have anyone else around to help her. There was only him, this young man who hardly had a name to her.

“Actually,” she cleared her throat. “I wanna ask—do you know anyone who needs like…work? And-and also, do you know any cheap places I could stay at?”

Scout thought about it. “Hm…why?”

Caramel shrugged. “I’m in kinda a tough spot, I don’t have anywhere to go, I’m gonna run out of money soon, and…that’s basically it,” she sipped at her lemonade again, her eyes darting away.

She could feel him watching her face in silence, for an uncomfortably long time, until he leaned a little closer to her. “Well,” he began. “I don’t know anyone, but…if ya need a place to, you know, get back on your feet, you can crash at my place for a while,”

Caramel looked back up, surprised. “…really?”

“Sure!” Scout shrugged. “But, I gotta warn you: I work there too, my job gets pretty loud, but we got a spare room there and—”

“Good enough for me,” Caramel cut in. She didn’t really know what she was agreeing to, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, here.

“Really?” Scout’s face lit up. “Aw, that’s awesome! L-listen, you don’t gotta pay rent, I’ll sort everything out, but—”

Caramel took a bite of chicken, interrupting him again. “Listen, though,” she began carefully. “If you fuck me over, boy scout, I will rip your fucking face apart,”

Scout seemed a little taken aback by this remark, but he quickly cleared his throat and composed himself. “N-no, no, I promise I ain’t gonna do anything like that! But, I gotta warn you that I have some, ah…roommates, and they can be a little wack,”

Caramel sighed: she didn’t know where this would lead, but she was desperate. She set down the piece of chicken she was eating, looking back up at Scout. “I’m fine with that,” she assured him. “Just as long as they ain’t pigs,”

[ask-gastly]

Gastly’s Random Facts

((I dunno, I’m a little bored, that’s all.

Gastly hoards many things in her bag-- but you’ll mostly find food (rare candies, regular candies, mooomoo milks, etc) and other random stuff (miscellaneous coupons that are probably expired, pokedolls, band-aids, those kinds of things)

She is VERY attached to her pokedolls

That’s not even the only thing that she hoards stuff in. She has like two fanny packs under that enormous sweater

Her sweater has designs of the light stone and dark stones, if you couldn’t tell

She found it a gift shop. It was 100% an impulse buy

Has myopia and the incorrect prescription glasses. She is also unaware of this.

She also has not trained her pokemon (mostly to refrain from forcing them to battle). They mainly level up through rare candies that she finds.

With the exception of her Golurk. It is VERY loyal to her family and actually goes off to train by itself to ensure that it’s strong enough to protect them. Gastly does not keep it in a pokeball

Speaking of Golurk, it is an absolute cinnamon roll. Unless you mess with Gastly or her family.

Gastly is a bit... odd.

She hides it well. Not even her relatives know. :D

And that concludes this somewhat long post. Thank you for listening))

[em-dualism]

A Munday Meme!

Rules: Answer the twenty-three questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better!

• Name: Grammar

• Zodiac Sign: Aries

• Height: 5′11″ 

• Languages Spoken: English. That’s it. Kinda sad I know.

• Nationality: American

• Favourite Fruit: Blackberries, probably. Most berries in general.

• Favourite Scent: Fresh cinnamon rolls, but my preference changes depending on what I’m hungry for.

• Favourite Colour: Periwinkle.

• Favourite Animal: I love me some penguins.

• Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Hot chocolate. I really dislike the other two.

• Favourite Fictional Character(s):  My sons Pat and Rey obviously, other Mega Man options include Top Man, ElecMan.EXE, and Speedy Dave. Hina Kagiyama and Suwako Moriya from Touhou. 

• When Was Your Blog Created: May of 2014. Geez, it’s been a while.

• Dream Trip: Uh... not sure, actually! I’d like to visit some of my friends, though!

• Last Movie Seen: Iron Man 2. One of my friends is going through all the MCU in order. That’s what we’re on right now.

• Songs You’ve Had On Repeat:

Diggy-MO’ - JUVES

Rats Died English ver.

Lovelytheband - Pity Party

A Hat in Time OST - Your Contract Has Expired

Len’en EMS OST - Yaorochi’s Theme but also several others from that series because the whole OST is top tier

• Favourite Candy: Right now I’ve been munching a lot of Twix bars. Basically chocolate bars in general.

• Favourite Holiday: Christmas, probably

• Random Facts About You:

I’m left handed, but I’m only capable of snapping with my right hand.

I have never sworn out loud or in text. Ever. Ask anyone I know. I don’t know if I should be proud of this or not but I am.

I’m going to college to major in computer programming or possibly analysis.

Tagged by: @savagewolffury who I forgot tagged me until now oops--

Tagging: I dunno, steal it!

[benito-cereno]

The Haunting of Netflix House 5: The Netflix Dimension

What’s up Octobocops, it’s Halloweason. Let’s get spooked. Here are some movies of the horror and horror-adjacent genres that you might watch by yourself or with a party of friends or with the spirit of a long-deceased duke who lives in inhabits your house. This is part five; you know the goddamn drill by now.

Previously, on The Haunting of Netflix House:

2013: The Haunting of Netflix House

2014: The Haunting of Netflix House 2: Your Sister is a Netflix

2015: The Haunting of Netflix House 3: The Season of the Netflix

2016: The Haunting of Netflix House 4: The Netflix Master

A couple of notes for those who are new to the list:

This is being posted on October 2, 2017. For humans of the future who find this, the links may not all be up to date. Some might even expire by November 2017. Click at your own risk.

I try to offer both breadth and depth of options on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I’m sorry if a favorite of yours got left off. There’s a chance I just haven’t seen it yet. Feel free to reblog and add some of your favorites, but please make sure a movie is actually currently available on Netflix before jumping my shit about some nonsense I “forgot,” please and thank you.

This list is based upon movies that are available on Netflix in the US. I have no idea what is streaming on Canadian Netflix or British Netflix or Slovenian Netflix. How would I know this. Why would I know this. Please do not expect me to know this. Feel free to be the Canadian/British/Slovenian Benito and make your own list applicable to your own countryhumans.

Horror movies, by their nature, have horrific things in them. Most of these movies are violent; lots of them deal with torture, abuse, and mental illness. If some element of this jumps out to me while I’m writing these up, I’ll mention them, but if you are sensitive to or have issues with certain types of content, you might look an individual movie up on Common Sense Media first to check for content warnings.

While there are always good horror movies to be found on Netflix, if you really like scary movies, you should just get a Shudder subscription (or even just the free trial!). It has an unbeatable, well-curated selection.

All right let’s get to the goddamn movies what say

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

Jaws (this is about a shark)

The Fly (the Vincent Price version, not the Jeff Goldblum one)

Gremlins (technically a Christmas movie, obviously, but maybe you’re a rebel)

The Sixth Sense (is this a classic? I mean probably your mom has heard of it, so)

Horror Comedies:

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (highly recommended)

Little Evil (new from the maker of Tucker and Dale; great cast; more than the Omen spoof it looks like; recommended)

Troll Hunter (not horror in the traditional sense; not a “Halloween” monster; found footage style; subtitled; awesome)

Young Frankenstein (maybe you’ve heard of this one)

The Host (subtitled; not a “Halloween” monster)

Ravenous (fucking rules)

Housebound (recommended)

Patchwork (in the vein of like Re-Animator and Frankenhooker)

Deathgasm (the best the best the best; watch immediately)

The Bar

Haunted House/Ghost shit:

The Awakening

The Pact (recommended)

The Babadook (highest possible recommendation; how have you not watched this yet)

Under the Shadow (recommended; basically the Iranian Babadook)

The Canal

We Are Still Here (Barbara Crampton is in this; her name will be mentioned a few more times on this list because she is apparently a major selling point for some people)

Last Shift (haunted police station; recommended)

The Legend of Hell House (love this one; love Roddy McDowall)

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (very slow paced but atmospheric)

Coraline (yeah, the scary stop-motion one)

Vampire shit:

Stake Land (non-traditional vampire rules; not really my jam but some people love it; no idea if the sequel is good)

Byzantium

Night Watch

Werewolf shit:

Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)

When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit:

Train to Busan (this rules; subtitled)

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit:

At the Devil’s Door (from the maker of The Pact; not as good, still interesting)

The Void (Lovecraftian cult shit; very cool visuals and practical effects)

Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)

The Devil’s Candy

Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)

The Wailing (fucking amazing; subtitled)

Found footage shit:

V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence

V/H/S/2 (same)

V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)

The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended)

Creep (recommended)

They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s wild af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)

Man Vs (pretty okay)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Curse of Chucky (way better than you think it is)

Clown (the haunted clown suit movie so good that Marvel said, “Yo, this guy should be in charge of Spider-Man”)

The Windmill (it’ll do fine if you’re just looking for a new slasher; tbf it is probably  the best windmill-themed slasher ever made though)

Other shit:

Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters)

It Follows (hey, what’s up, it’s the best horror movie of the past decade; highest possible rec)

Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)

The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)

Honeymoon

Starry Eyes

White God (DOG REVENGE)

They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)

Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)

Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)

The Hallow (scary fairies)

Tales of Halloween (an anthology, so a mixed bag; okay overall, but it’s definitely Halloween-y)

The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)

Beyond the Gates (I actually did not like this very much, but some people might find it interesting, especially if you like--wait for it--Barbara Crampton)

Turbo Kid (this is not really horror, but if you like horror, especially splatter stuff, you will probably like it; it is good as shit)

Gerald’s Game (new shit from Mike Flanagan and it’s really great. Deals with lots of hard issues like abuse and such so maybe take a look at content issues if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff. Also definitely not for the squeamish, so head’s up. That said, it’s really really good)

80s/90s shit:

Hellraiser (not my style, but maybe you like this stuff, iunno)

Children of the Corn

The Craft

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent):

Hush (Mike Flanagan directs; home invasion with a deaf woman protagonist; fucking rules)

The Silenced (haven’t actually watched this yet, but it looks good; don’t *think* it’s supernatural?; presumably subtitled)

The Eyes of My Mother (black and white; super bleak; beautiful and highly recommended)

Kristy

Dig Two Graves

We Need to Talk About Kevin (very bleak)

The Bad Batch (from the director of A Girl Walks Home Etc; only kind of horror-adjacent; Jason Momoa and Keanu Reeves are in this)

Sun Choke (visually beautiful but super art-housey, also lots of mental illness and abuse stuff in this one; also *Barbara Crampton*)

Zodiac (biography of Ted Cruz)

I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore (so fucking good; very funny also)

Nightcrawler (basically a vampire movie, but with a camera instead of fangs)

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries (all the good horror docs got moved to Shudder):

The Nightmare (a doc on sleep paralysis and night terrors that is so-so as a documentary, but super effective as a horror film)

Witches: A Century of Murder (history of British witch trials, reenacted; two parts)

“But, Benito!” I hear you cry. “I don’t have Netflix for some reason! What about some other streaming services?” Yeah, all right. Here are some quick hits that are definitely not exhaustive. Just a couple of party jams you might enjoy if you’ve burned through the Netflix list.

What’s on Hulu though

10 Cloverfield Lane

Monster Squad

Fright Night (the original; a must watch if you haven’t seen it)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

From Dusk Til Dawn

An American Werewolf in London

Hatchet

Pumpkinhead (check this one out if you haven’t seen it)

The Blob

I Saw the Devil (amazing)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (either version)

Shaun of the Dead

The Loved Ones

Wolfcop

The Thing

Rigor Mortis

Borgman

The Descent

Bloodsucking Bastards

Willow Creek

Berberian Sound Studio

Plus a bunch of shit that’s also on Netflix

What about Amazon Prime you idiot

The Girl with All the Gifts

Them (not Them!)

The Witch

Hell House LLC

Neon Demon

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Nosferatu

Green Room

Little Shop of Horrors (the Corman one, not the musical)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

The Bay

Society

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Exorcism

What We Do in the Shadows

Amazon Prime is hard to navigate so that’s all. If I left off a favorite, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because it didn’t pop up in the first 20 pages of search results.

Tell me some good Shudder ones

The Innkeepers

A Tale of Two Sisters

The Gorgon

Lake Bodom

Prevenge

All the Phantasms (maybe not Ravager)

Shrew’s Nest

Noroi: The Curse

The House of the Devil

Black Sunday

Let the Right One In

Murder Party (highly recommended, esp for Halloween)

WNUF Halloween Special

Ghostwatch (play this at your party if you want to fucking win Halloween)

This list could be a million more entries long. Shudder rules.

What about Crackle/Vudu/YouTube/etc

Please shut up

As usual, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

a primer for spooky stories

a primer for Lovecraft specifically

a list of “essential” horror movies

a list of “essential” silent horror movies

a list of “essential” horror comedies

a list of suggested horror double features

a primer for Hammer horror

a list of cool movies starring Christopher Lee and Vincent Price

this list of resources, including short films and even more scary movies

a suggested Halloween playlist

a primer for spooky classical music

the scariest 20 minutes in radio history

free to play spooky games

and my general Halloween tag, which includes short films, movie trailers, comics, stories, and more

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from all sorts of sources, in case you’re wondering what’s good on more than just Netflix. Also also, maybe take a look at some of my comics, several of which are appropriate for Halloween times.

Happy Halloween, nerds!

[asktheraggededges]

What's everyone's favorite meal?

There was a place back on Reth. An entire family devoted themselves just to making these cheesecakes. Smooth, crumbly, flavourful.  I know it’s just cheesecake but they had made it an art form. No berries. No dressing. Just the cake itself. 

For all its simplicity there was nothing else like it. 

And it was just from this one small store. 

Even on Reth, people  often didn’t know about it. It was amazing.But I mean, it’s been so long since I’ve had it  and I don’t think I will again. So I mean, my favourite meal is probably fettuccine carbonara. I like a good roux when it’s possible.

You know? In spite of everything that’s out there, sometimes nothing beats a good roto chook. If you ever get the chance - and it’s not against your lifestyle - everyone owes it to themselves to at least once - sit down with a cool bottle of white whine and a whole roto chook and not get up until both are finished. You will be glad you did.

Cut out the middle of a crumpet with a cookie cutter. Fry the crumpet with an egg in the middle of it in butter. It’s incredible.

One time, I was visiting Levy on one of his private ships. The conversation went so long that I ended up staying for dinner. He served me this..thing..like a steak but not cooked at all. It was pink and and had tender flesh. The way to eat it was slice by slice and dunked in a weird thin sauce with green paste in it.He told me it was tuna. Which he assured me was some sort of fish. 

I later found out from Boone what a fish was.

Generally I think of food as being practical. It gives you what your body needs. Apparently this did that as well as being incredibly tasty.Were I able to, I would eat this every day or at least every week.In terms of what is generally available to me, though - I am very partial to hard bread and cheese.

Potatoes. I don’t care what you’ve done with them. Give them here.

When I was ripping off rich assholes who were ripping off other people, I one time interrupted one of their lunches. They were eating spicy wings with with a cheese dipping sauce and some sort of weird, fibrous green vegetable. That shit was the shit.

Gimme a schnitter wiv mushroom sauce any day.

Back on Praetoria, actual nutritious food was so scarce that it did you no good to eat it as it came to you. It had no satisfaction. The trick was to save it all for a few weeks then fry them with corpse starch in a little animal fat. We called it ‘bubble and squeak’ and it can be really quite lovely its own way.

Once or twice lady Boone received a small parcel from her home planet. it had within it a preserved fruit. Some sort of candied citrus. It fascinated me. It looked like an egg yolk but shinier and more orange. It looked like the tastiest thing imaginable.

I must have lacked subtlety in my observation of it, or perhaps it was the gift she has, but in no time at all she was offering it to me.

 She said she knew they were good but that they weren’t really to her tastes.It was exceptional. Sweet and bitter, with a firm, exceptional texture. I know it’s not a meal but it was one of the few times eating has brought me joy.

Now, she always gives them to me.

Onion rings. It’s the god emperors food.

I dunno. The Inquisitor gave me a large box of bizarre  individually  wrapped sponge cakes that don’t seem to have an expiration date.  

They’re greasy and taste of chemicals and the filling , I am quite sure is a mixture of maize oil and powdered sugar. They’re disgusting.

BUT. I think each one gives the average adult an entire days worth of calories - so that means I can do other things with my day besides eating if I eat just one of them.

The fuck kinda question is that?

MEAT.

RIBS.

Avocado. On thick toast. A little pepper. A little lemon. A little Tabasco.

Kilojoule Buddy is a vitamin enhanced ration biscuit that gives you everything you need. It’s available in chocolate, maple, cheese and grapefruit flavour. It is INCREDIBLY tasty. I want some more!!

Briton rarebit! 

Or carrots, if anyone has any. I know raw vegetables aren’t a meal but they’re so rare! And they’re so goooood!

I’ll have spaghetti and meatballs.

There’s this combination of herbs and spices harvested from the hot side of Mordia that make anything taste good. It’s a yellow powder and they call it ‘Ancient Dock’. I’d eat most things if they had ‘Ancient Dock’ on them.

Two slice bread. Ham. Spinach. Lettuce okay but spinach better. Salad onion. Cheese. Some people say the cheese with the holes in it, I say something a little stronger. Tomato. Processed razorspeck. Maybe bologna. Maybe salami. Both or either is fine. Mayonnaise. Good stuff from small store. Mustard. If you think it is weird to have both you need to leave, gopnik. Hold closed with single olive.Then you have perfect sadnvich.

Now repeat recipe vossem times until you have enough for giant woman.Perfect meal.

SAWSEHJ!!

It is a rare treat I have had only once. But crisp garden vegetable served with bizarre pink crackers and hot peanut sauce is a truly wonderful experience.

Anything with noodles in has my attention! We used to make this all purpose meal on Skorgulian. It has meat, vegetables, spices and noodle all in a weird pancake. Sounds weird but it was amazing.

Filet de soul.Ahee

Aheehee hee,

Hee.

Turkey.

aPPle sAUCE

[because-cur-non]

'Look at that intestine cake' for Peglaeg? Thanks

“I can’t believe there isn’t any more discount Halloween crap,” Peggy complained, walking past the aisle in the grocery store that two weeks ago had been overflowing with orange and black and now looked like a harvest festival had exploded onto its shelves.  “That doesn’t seem right.  I wanted to get a spider.”

Aglae pushed the shopping cart alongside her, leaning heavily on the handle, her face still pink from the chill air outside.  “Why?”

“I was going to hide it somewhere to scare Herc.”

“Like in his bed.”

“Or in the shower.”

“You could play the long game and put it in the toilet tank,” Aglae said.  “Then when he eventually has to lift it, it’ll be staring him right in the face.”

“Gross.  He’d probably drop the lid and then yell at me when it broke.”

“I guess that’s too mean.  Maybe we should get him something better than a jump scare,” Aglae said as they stumbled upon the one heavily picked over remaining table of leftover Halloween items.  “You know, like this gorgeous punchbowl.”  She parked the cart and lifted up a large orange plastic bowl with a black ribbon of tombstones printed around it.  She flipped it upside down to check the price.  “Three dollars.”

“Nice.  There’s a matching ladle, too.”

“Ooh, a set.  Okay, I think you have to get that now.”

“You think?”

“Does he have room for it?”

“Dunno.”  Peggy took the bowl from her and dumped it with the ladle into the cart.  “And a bag of circus peanuts?”

“Sure, why not?”

“I can put them in the bowl.”

“Good call.”

“What’s the point of those things, anyway?  They just take like stale sugar.”

“What’s the point of any of this?  I think people just like candy.”

“And dressing up.”  Peggy put the bag in her cart, suddenly reminded of Halloween much more vividly than as just a now-expired holiday and she struggled to keep any trace of it off of her face and out of her voice.  “Anyway,” she said, a little more forcefully than intended, “Thats four dollars total.  I guess I could spend, like, one more on him.  Since he did let me move in and fixed the hem on my shirt and everything.”  She looked cautiously at Aglae and watched her rub her cheek with her hand and wondered if the pink was from what she said or from her makeup or just from the action.  “Any suggestions?”

“For a dollar…?  Another bag of candy?”

“I guess.”  Peggy sorted through the few remaining on the table.  “Smashed tootsie rolls?”

“Is that mean like the spider in the toilet?”  Aglae joined her in looking and Peggy wondered if she was being intentionally careful not to touch her hand.  “You could just buy him a zombie frap.”

“That would cost more.”  Peggy took a step back, holding the bag of tootsie rolls.  “I guess this’ll work.”

“Oh!”

She looked up from the candy and into Aglae’s excited blue eyes and her felt her own widen as she leaned away, unable on the spot to differentiate between wanting something and being afraid of it.

Fortunately Aglae didn’t notice and she put her hand to her mouth, half-covering her grin.  “Turn around, look behind you.”  She pointed.

Peggy turned without thinking and then took a quick step back, knocking into the table and almost tripping over her own boots.  A giant revoltingly pink cake was left half-propped up and abandoned on the shelf of dried goods behind her, a large orange discount sticker smacked on top.

“Is that a brain?”

“Um, ew.”  Peggy dropped the candy on the table and picked up the cake, turning it so she could see the label on the other side.  “It says it’s an ‘intestine cake.’”

Aglae laughed and Peggy looked at her over her shoulder, a grin spreading on her face at the sound and the knowledge that she had done that.

“It’s only three dollars, I could get it.”

“Three dollars for a cake?  How old is it?  Do you think it’s actually still from Halloween?”

“I dunno.  Do cakes last that long?  Can they even still sell this?”

“Shh!”  Aglae motioned rapidly at her with one arm stretched out over the table.  “Don’t draw attention to it, just put it in the cart.”

“Good call.”  Peggy carefully put it in next to the bowl.  “Okay,” she said, feeling a little hysterical at some heist that didn’t exist and that they weren’t actually getting away with.  “Let’s check out and get out of here before anyone notices.”  She started to push the cart towards the registers and Aglae hurried after her, grabbing the back of her coat and laughing.

“Self-checkout, self-checkout!”

“Right,” Peggy agreed, veering the cart sharply in that direction and knowing with an illogical certainty that the real trick she had managed was to stumble into a bright mundane world that revolved entirely around her.