#probably cause i've been writing this fic forever at this point

[longing4yesterday]

i've been such a mess lately but thank you guys for the abundance of support lately <3 i really appreciate it

[triptychgrip]

A plea to the angst writers in the Yuri!!! on Ice fandom...

...can I rally you to write some post-canon angst (with a happy ending), pretty, pretty please?! When I want to feel like I've been stabbed in the heart, it's generally in a post-canon context, a few years down the road.

To be clear, I've read plenty of great YOI fic that deals with the inevitable angst that comes from Yuuri's first few months adjusting to life in Russia; this is a big change for him in terms of beginning domestic life with Viktor and starting to train at a whole new skating club in St. Petersburg, so it makes sense that the angst potential there is ripe.

But just because our favorite skating fiances might become skate husbands doesn't mean that their hardships vanish (even if they learn to actually communicate instead of expecting their skating to do the talking for them). Training injuries, Viktor eventually retiring, Makka getting older *sobs*, and the inevitable past traumas that naturally crop up in intimate relationships...these can all be sources of stress and, thus, conflict.

In general, I have a preference for post-canon fic over developing relationship fic, because I long to see what happens after "the chase" (i.e. after Yuuri and Viktor fall in love). Don't get me wrong: I adore canon YOI, but for the majority of the time that we see Yuuri, it's within a context where he's fully expecting Viktor to leave at some point, not believing he is "enough" for Viktor to want forever with him (as a coach or partner).

And, up until that "let's end this" scene, Viktor is still quite guarded when it comes to his negative emotions, because even while Yuuri tells him that he wants him to be himself, you don't get over ingrained, years-long masking tendencies in months, or even a year or two.

There is trust and vulnerability between them, but it's burgeoning.

Which is why I think the few-years-down-the-road angst scenarios can be so compelling, precisely because there is that accumulation of trust and vulnerability that comes from learning one another over time.

This is a point where Yuuri knows that Viktor wants forever with him.

They're married, have probably adopted multiple dogs together, maybe they've left Russia b/c Viktor has retired by now, so he wouldn't need to train with Yakov in close proximity. But, anxiety doesn't care about any of these realities. So what if Yuuri is now an Olympic Champion, or if they are both retired and co-coaching the next generation of talented skaters? The "right" kind of thoughtless remark from Viktor, or just an off-day can cause all the "proof" of forever to fly out the window.

And Viktor: so what if he logically knows that Yuuri won't leave him just because he's getting older and his chronic knee pain is getting more and more acute? Or, if he gets triggered during a tough therapy session (because a man who ignored life and love for twenty years should probably definitely be in therapy), activating the abandonment issues I strongly suspect he has?

This could definitely be one of those "write the fic you want to read" situations, but writing angst really does not come naturally to me. Doesn't mean I won't do it, I just know that there are very talented people out there who actually enjoy it, which is just...incredible to me, lol.

[coraniaid]

Another AU idea, if you're not bored of these already! Spike, for whatever reason, doesn't come back to Sunnydale. (Maybe the flights are expensive or something.) What alternative bad guy could be an interesting new Scooby? (You know, like Dracula, or Glory, or Sunday, etc. etc.)

PS: Faith isn't a bad guy, so she doesn't count! :)

As I think I've mentioned on here before, if I ever get around to writing a sequel to my S3 AU fic Coexist (which, to be clear, is not very likely to happen), I would probably have Sunday be the vampire who gets captured and then chipped by the Initiative.

But just to be a different (and to keep my options open if I ever do end up writing such a sequel), let's go with somebody else: Willow's vampire alter ego from The Wish and Doppelgangland. There are, I guess, a couple of objections to this idea: namely that the last time we saw vamp!Willow she was (a) in another dimension and (b) dead. But these are easily dealt with, I think.

How I see this playing out is that everything in Season 4 happens much the same way it does in canon for the first few episodes (Spike either comes back for The Harsh Light Of Day but then not a second time, or we can replace him in that one episode with somebody like ... I don't know, Lyle Gorch?). Oz and Willow still break up, as in canon, and Oz leaves town after Wild At Heart. Then:

We go immediately into Something Blue [skipping The Initiative for now, and skipping Pangs forever because it's trash]. Willow still casts her will-be-done spell and things play out as much as like canon as they can. Obviously that's pretty different, with no Spike -- we probably need to rename the episode for a start -- but Willow can still make Giles blind and Xander a literal demon magnet. Let's say her suggestion for Buffy is a bit like Dawn's wish in Season 6; she's upset about Buffy going patrolling and not staying with her, so she unwittingly says something that makes Buffy both unwilling and unable to leave the dorms (but it takes them a while to figure out this is what's happened). The other key difference is that, while mourning the end of her relationship with Oz, Willow brings up her doppelganger from last season and says she had a point that "this world's no fun". "Why," Willow says, "She should come back from wherever we sent her so I can tell her she was right." Cue to vamp!Willow in the Wishverse, just about to be staked (again) ... only to vanish and reappear in Willow's dorm room. [With some work, you could play up the fact that human!Willow didn't realize Oz could hurt her so badly with the fact that vamp!Willow was about to be killed by him.] Before our Willow can say anything, her counterpart escapes into the night (and Buffy can't chase her, because of the wish Willow made about her, which is something that helps them figure out what's going on).

At the end of the episode, Willow breaks the spell as in canon. Everyone assumes that this sent vamp!Willow back to her original dimension again -- especially when she doesn't show up to cause any more trouble -- but it doesn't. Instead she gets captured by the Initiative, just like Spike did in canon. And a couple of episodes later, she breaks free again ... only to discover, just like Spike did, that she's been chipped and can't hurt anybody human. She probably finds out a little bit sooner that she can still hurt demons and vampires: in fact, given her MO in Doppelgangland she probably only finds out she can't drink from living humans after she's already taken control of the current vampire gang in Sunnydale and tried to attack the Bronze (again). When that doesn't work (and after her reputation has taken a bit of a blow as a result) she tries the Drusilla approach of being a power behind the throne for a bit (not hurting anyone directly but getting a proxy to lead the other vampires in attacking humans and bringing her fresh blood from already-dead victims), but unfortuntately for her credibility the only vampire she can find who's willing to take orders from a vampire who can't hurt people herself is Harmony (who I guess was dating Lyle Gorch in this AU but broke up with him pretty quickly). And between that frustration and the fact the Initiative quickly show up again looking for her, she doesn't have much choice but to throw herself on the Scooby Gang's mercy [which we know, from Season 3, that they're likely to show her, especially if she can give them any information about the Initiative].

Cue sitcom-worthy plots wherein human!Willow is going to class and (mostly) spending her nights in the dorm room she shares with Buffy and sometimes going home to visit her parents and trying to keep her new relationship with Tara hidden from her friends, while vamp!Willow is sometimes hiding out in a crypt somewhere and sometimes hanging out with Anya and sometimes pretending to be human!Willow in Buffy's dorm (to escape both the Initiative and Harmony). Harmony has at least three conversations with human!Willow which she walks away from thinking she's been talking to vamp!Willow (Harmony thinks vamp!Willow is the coolest person she's ever met but the feeling is not quite mutual). Riley is briefly convinced that human!Willow is the missing "Hostile 17" he and his men have been looking for, then is persuaded that Willow is 100% human and not a vampire at all, then almost immediately runs into vamp!Willow and assumes he's still talking to human!Willow. When Faith temporarily steals Buffy's body in Who Are You? she also completely fails to clock that vamp!Willow and human!Willow are different people (though she figures out almost immediately that both Willows are crazy about Tara). She does get on a lot better with the vampire version of Willow than the human one, but she assumes this is just because Willow has mellowed out a lot since high school. (Faith only learns the truth when she comes back in Season 7.) Anya can tell them apart easily and thinks it's weird that other people can't. She and vamp!Willow get on like a house on fire (which really highlights how much Anya and human!Willow don't); they trade stories about various atrocities they've committed when they're bored (they agree that Anya's are better but Anya cheers vamp!Willow up by pointing out she's a lot older and had more time to practice being evil).

When Oz comes back later in the season, we briefly tease the idea that having two versions of Willow might be a way of resolving Willow's putative love triangle (especially by having vamp!Willow delightedly refer to Oz as 'puppy' when he first starts to transform into a werewolf again). The problem is that both Oz and Tara can always tell the two Willows apart, and neither of them is attracted to vamp!Willow at all. (The fact vamp!Willow remembers a version of Oz trying to kill her is not, as it turns out, much of a problem.) Adam still tries to recruit vamp!Willow to sow dissension in the ranks of the Scooby Gang, but she isn't very interested in trying [she's not interested in playing second fiddle to some other demon] and wouldn't be very good at it if she was. Adam gets Harmony to do it instead, and she is surprisingly successful at it at first (in part because she doesn't think of herself as doing anything untoward: she's just helpfully pointing out facts [cf. that Cordelia quote about tact]). Harmony still can't tell vamp!Willow and human!Willow apart though, so she cheerfully tells human!Willow that she thinks she [i.e. vamp!Willow] has done a great job infilitrating the gang and all Willow's friends already like her much more than the original, which she means sincerely and our Willow does not take well. Vamp!Willow figures out what's going on (and decides to tell the Scoobies about it, mainly because she's annoyed that Adam is trying to take 'her' rightful place as the town's Big Bad). But not before Harmony tries to give her the speech which she'd planned to give human!Willow (which is mostly the same speech about how great vamp!Willow is, actually, but Harmony makes the point of telling her that she's not as smart as vamp!Willow "so you shouldn't even try to stop Adam's plan, because there's no way a loser like you will figure out he's going to have all the demons be captured bythe Initiative then stage a break out and hope they all kill each other").

Vamp!Willow also follows canon!Spike's lead in falling for Buffy in Season 5. She is, if anything, even more mortified on realizing this than Spike was. Buffy and human!Willow try very hard to pretend this doesn't make things weird between them, not entirely succesfully. This gets even more difficult to do in Season 6 when vamp!Willow and Buffy start hooking up.

[oliveoil422]

I wanna see you before I die

DESTIEL FIC

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

‘I wanna see you before I die,’ I thought as I felt more of my life being drained from me but I can't see you because you are dead. I wish I could have just told you I loved you too before the empty took you. I want to yell and scream at you for making that deal. How could you be so dumb Cass. You have always been there for me. I need you now god damn it! Where are you, you winged dick? All i can think about is how i never got to say i love you back i do i really do Cass i wish you could have told me sooner, why didn't you? You never were scared of anything, hell we even fought Lucifer together! Why couldn't you have said something? Why couldn't you have given me the chance?

Remember when things were much more simple when you were an angel of the lord and I was the man you, “Gripped tight and raised from perdition.” I've known lost all my life, I've lost pretty much everyone I ever cared about but you? Thats different you were suppose to be the one i didn't lose, the one i couldn’t lose. And now here we are, you sitting in the empty, probably cold and alone while I'm here on earth fighting for my life which is coming to an end. Sam doesn't know it yet but i can feel it im not going anywhere. This nail is holding me together at this point. I know it's probably impossible but if i make it to heaven i hope it's with you, i hope the memories that i relive is with you i wish we could have made more.

My whole life has been pretty shitty. I mean watching my mom die then my dad spiraled because of it. The one thing I got right was Sammy, I raised that kid while I was still one myself and he turned out pretty good. Jack, if you can hear my thoughts my prayers please keep him safe, keep the one thing i didn't mess up safe, keep my pain in the ass little brother safe.keep him safe because i won't be able to anymore like i have been his whole life. His whole life I took care of him cause without me he had nobody even though John clearly loved him over me he didn't show it often. Who is going to take care of him while i'm gone? I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have watched out for that nail. Why didn't I look out for it? Dad taught me better than that! I shouldn't be in this situation. It's my own damn fault that I am! Now I'm going to leave Sammy all alone because of my carelessness.

Cass, I know our time was short but it meant alot to me, and it clearly meant alot to you as well. If I ever see you again I wont need an explanation about why you left the way you did or why you said the things you did because I get it. I truly get it. I love you too that's what i would tell you if i ever got the chance to see you again i hope one day i will see some version of you, even a fragment of you would be something, Castiel, former angel of the lord, you mean alot to me thank you forever giving me the thought of day. You pieced me together when you left that hand print you made me whole you made me, me. To answer your question from many years ago, no I don't think I deserve to be saved. I think that you deserve everything good in life, i think you deserve to be saved. But Dean Winchester? Hell no. and everyone knew it too no one thought i should be saved most people wished i was still in the pit some days i agree i mess most things up in my life, i even messed whatever we had because i didn't speak on my feelings or even notice i could feel that way until you made it known to me that i could feel that way that you felt that way.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

author note:if anyone likes this I will write more!

[therentyoupay]

Hey kris! I’ve followed you for a long long time now and am so happy to see you doing your thing and active on tumblr rn. I was really really active a couple months ago and am now on here when time permits. Seeing you pop up on my dash again made me realize I don’t think you’ve ever changed your profile pic since like idk 2012 when I started following you. is there any significance behind the and symbol? I hope you’re enjoying the beginnings of fall ☺️☺️

HELLO, NONNY. 😭🙏💕💕 thank you so much for your lovely lovely message!!! i'm also so sorry that you sent this three days ago when i have actually been super absent from tumblr for the past week or so due to ✨life obligations✨🤣😭🤣!! you and i are in the same boat! super active on tumblr when we can be; otherwise.... we swing by, when life allows. 🤣

thank you so much for your question! you are correct!! 🤣 i started writing fic at age 11 on FFNET through another penname (bonus points if anyone here actually remembers what it used to be, 2001–2011 👀?) and it was a really big deal when i decided to ✨rebrand✨ after ten years! the rebrand to therentyoupay started in december 2011 (long story short: a reviewer left such a nice comment on my FFNET dramione story that it kickstarted me into actually continuing it! comments matter!!) and at the time, ampersands (&) were all the rage, and i was definitely one of the basic bitches obsessed with them. 🤣 (no millennial-"&" tattoo but i did consider it lmao. maybe I'll still get one, one day, so y'all can try to identify me in The Wild lmao.) therentyoupay is from one of my favorite quotes. 🥹🥹🥹💕💕 (does anyone know? 🤣)

so, that following summer in 2012, lok came out and i was lured into making a tumblr! unsurprisingly, my avatar/icon slid over from FFNET/ao3 into tumblr, as did my penname, and i will likely keep it for the rest of my life 🤣 therentyoupay/kris(which isn't my real name👀)/TRYP have now all been associated with this account and my fics for so long that it would cause great confusion and, quite probably, losses in the community i've built over the years!! so TRYP i shall remain forever 🤣

i also personally get so confused when long-term friends on tumblr change their icons and URLs... it's like i no longer recognize them! i have a spreadsheet with everyone's URLs over the years, their names, etc., so i can keep track... but i was also off tumblr for three years during the pandemic 😅😅😅 so i have lost track of a lot of people 🥹 that's why i always really appreciate when people leave a note in their profiles/pinned posts about their previous URLs and a name to call them by! (whether it's a fake name or not lol) otherwise i don't have a name for them–they're just their URL lol, and their "face" is just their icon. 🤣

and yes, i totally am!! 🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃 i'm feeling so lucky and so grateful for all the amazing things happening in my life right now 😭🙏 if only 2012!kris had any idea what was in store for her.... 🤣💕💕💕

LOVE YOU, NONNY. TAKE CARE AND HAVE AN AMAZING REST OF YOUR WEEK. 💕💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕 thank you so much for this beautiful ask!

[definedbydaylight]

“It’ll Be The Last Time” - Matty Healy x F!Reader

Part 3

Masterlist: .°˖✧ Word Count: 2341 Warnings: angst, angst, and more angst, this whole series will have so much angst, also alcohol, smoking, drug use/mentions and a little smut as a treat xx also if you think any of my fics will include an accurate timeline of real life events then you're on crack

Series Summary: “You’ve known Matty since you were 14 and the boy has never failed to get on your last nerve, but over the years you two end up having unexplainable moments where you can’t help but feel you two are connected in a way you’ll never feel with anyone else, until one night he tells you something that may change how you view the boy forever…”

January 13th 2011

It's almost midnight and you're about to give a small speech in honor of the album, you're off to the side of the DJ Booth with Kelsey and the boys, well all except for Matty who still hasn't said a word to you in the hour that he's been here, you're both thankful and a little disappointed. Ross rubs your shoulders as Kels gives you the traditional best friend motivation spiel, you can't help but smile as you take in all the love and support from your favorite people, just as she finishes the DJ fades the music out and introduces you to the crowd, it's your turn to take the stage, as you walk on and take the mic your group cheers loudly.

"Haha yes thank you. Um, hello! I'm y/n l/n and I'm sorry to the club goers who are about to be subjected to my sad music, I promise some of them have at least an upbeat tune, and it's good music, well I think so anyway, some may say otherwise-"

"IT'S FUCKIN BRILLIANT!" George yells from the side.

"Oh lord, that's my dear friend George so he's a little biased, but thank you love. Anyway this album means a lot to me really, it's a collection of very personal songs, some that I've been working on probably years now. A lot of teenage angst went into this album which I think you'll be able to tell, and uhh, god I'm actually so nervous." You try to take even breaths as the crowd cheers you on.

"Right, so as a surprise I'm actually going to be performing my personal favorite song on the album, which I actually began writing at 18 and have been tweaking over the years, George the lovely fellow actually did the drums on this song cause I knew I wanted a good percussion track. Give him a round of applause as well." You pause and clap along with everyone else looking at him, he gives a small wave as you introduce the song. "Anyway this is Decode off of With Your Permission."

George enters the stage and takes a seat at the drums as the guitar starts you in, you look up to the crowd and make direct eye contact with Matty who stands perfectly centered in the small crowd, arms still tightly wrapped around the girl he brought, you feel your stomach turn.

How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind I can't win your losing fight All the time-

The crowd actually goes wild at the beginning of the song, the song which you'd been so worried no one would like or understand, but they're actually loving it. The confidence builds up inside you as you continue singing, Matty has stopped looking at you as this point and is violently making out with the girl as you approach your best verse, the verse about him.

-The truth is hiding in your eyes And it's hanging on your tongue Just boiling in my blood-

You're staring at him as he looks up at the perfect time for the song to make an impact on him.

-But you think that I can't see What kind of man that you are If you're a man at all Well, I will figure this one out

On my own (I'm screaming, I love you so) On my own (But my thoughts you can't decode)-

Kelsey is going crazy screaming along because of course you showed your best friend the songs beforehand, you'd never put anything out without her approval, her opinion is the only one in the world that really matters, the drum line intensifies as you begin to finish out the song.

-There is something I see in you It might kill me, I want it to be true

You're done and the crowds is cheering non-stop, George jumps up from his spot and rushes over scooping you up in his arms, he gives your cheek a kiss as he spins you around, soon Kelsey, Ross and Adam have also joined you on stage in a giant group hug of praise.

You're laughing as you try to bring the mic back up to your mouth. "And these are my amazing best friends, as you can see I have a wonderful support system, thank you all for listening, here is the rest of With Your Permission!" The DJ starts the next track as you all exit the stage.

You're all making your way over to your seating area, fresh drinks waiting for you at the table, but so is someone.

"Good performance, interesting song choice." Matty speaks up from his seat, the girl he was with nowhere to be seen.

"Thanks." Is all you can manage to say, George's arm around your waist tightens ready to defend you if he said anything rude.

"I got you a dirty shirley." Matty uses the tips of his fingers to push it towards you as you take a seat. "Still your favorite right?"

You give him a small smile, his tone sounds almost sad, but kind. "Always will be."

The rest of your friends sit, you've ended up between Matty and Kelsey in the rounded booth, and the conversation starts up easily. It feels like no time has passed when you're all together, like no matter what happens between anyone, the group will survive. Adam says something about some guy who he noticed has been pacing the bar back and forth hitting on every girl he can, and everyone laughs, noticing all his failed attempts. Matty adjusts his sitting position and his thigh rubs against yours and you take a sharp breath in at the close contact, no one really notices, no one except Matty of course who's turned to look at you, you can't help but look back at him.

He smiles at you. "So Decode?"

"Oh lord, not this." You laugh a little and put your face in your hands.

"No, no, it's good, bloody brilliant really. I reckon it'll be stuck in my head for a few weeks." He sounds flirty, and with all the alcohol in your system you can't really help but enjoy it.

"Yea?" George speaks up from the other end of the booth. "You should really listen to Under The Table, haven't gotten it out of my head since I first heard it."

"Ross has had to deal with me constantly playing the Like Real People do track you sent me on repeat for the last month, absolutely my favorite!" Kelsey gushes to you.

"Personally I say How Do I Tell You? is the best but I might be biased cause I helped with the guitar on it." Adam pipes in as well.

You smile big at all your friends singing their praise for your music.

"You've all heard them before?" Matty asks, sounding a little hurt.

Summer 2006:

It's a cold night, you've got a thick black cardigan wrapped around you as you sit on your front steps, smoking a joint you'd swiped from George the last time you'd seen him, which had been a while ago now. A few weeks after the party you two had decided to call off your situationship, nothing bad it was mutual, you both decided the weird tension the whole party ordeal had caused was too much, he was still one of your best friends. Everyone had staged a makeshift "intervention" for you, George and Matty to get over the whole thing, and it had gone surprisingly well, well enough that you were actually sat waiting for Matty to pick you up for a party. Kelsey had taken Ross on a trip with her family to Ireland, Adam was visiting with his dad's side of the family, and George had gone to California with his, so you and Matty had been trying to fill the gaps in your social life together.

You finish the joint as you see Matty's van pull up outside, you toss the end of the joint down and stub it out with your boot as you stand up making your way around the car to the passenger side, you hop in and Matty is looking at you with a huge grin on his face.

You look at him weird and laugh. "What's with the serial killer smile?"

"I have a surprise for you, but you have to wait till the party." He says turning forward and pulling out of your driveway as you buckle yourself in.

"Honestly terrified of what you have up your sleeve." You try to reach forward to change the radio station but Matty smacks your hand.

"Hey! Anyway you shouldn't be scared, in fact you should be kissing my fucking ass." He smirks still watching the road.

"Oh yeah?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. "And why is that Matthew?"

"Well you see June Bug." You groan at the nickname. "I happen to get my hands on something you've been dying to try."

You whip your head towards him, eye wide. "No! No you did not! Don't lie to me right now, I will be so mad if you're messing with me."

"Glove compartment." He winks at you.

You don't waste a second, you quickly open the compartment and resting inside on top of random papers and a car manual is a small baggie with white powder inside, you squeal and try to reach for it as Matty smacks your hand again.

"I said to wait till we're at the party!" He says seriously.

"But whyyyyy?" You whine.

"Cause it'll be your first time and I need to make sure we're safe before you ingest a drug you've never tried before."

You roll your eyes at him. "Don't say that like it's not your first time too."

"Well, actually-" He starts.

"Matthew Timothy Healy! You promised we'd try it together!" You pull out the puppy dog eyes.

"Listen love, I needed to make sure it wasn't janky coke, I didn't want it to kill you or something, needed to know what we were getting into so I could be sure you'd be okay." You smile at that.

"Oh Matty." You say leaning your head on his shoulder. "Always my knight in shining armor, the man who cares about me the most."

"Oh fuck off." He laughs, shrugging you off his shoulder.

He parks the car down a side street and grabs the baggie before you two make your way into the party, not one of Josh's this time, but a friend of his that he'd invited you both to, who also happened to live in a GIANT house, bigger than Matty's even. You both opt to do shots before anything else, you mention needing to be intoxicated to deal with the awful choice of music, Matty smiles and agrees with you taking your hand and dragging you to the kitchen to find something.

After a few vodka shots he grabs a 6 pack of ciders and you both made your way to one of the, what you assume is, many bathrooms, you enter and lock the door setting up camp for the events that are about to take place. You crack open two ciders as Matty sets up two lines on the counter and rolls up a one pound note.

"Okay so basically-" He starts to explain.

"I know how to do it Matty, we've seen it in movies plenty of times." You interrupt.

"Right, sorry I forgot movies are the best form of education, miss know-it-all, but whatever there is one thing you need to know, the drip back is awful so prepare for a bad taste in the back of your throat." He then takes his line and tilts his head back.

He hands the rolled up note to you and presents the line to you like an absolute dork, you turn to the counter and take your turn, tilting your head back afterwards like he had. He was right, the taste was god awful, but the feeling overshadowed the taste, you turn to him eyes wide.

"Holy fuck." Is all you say and he starts laughing. "No I'm serious Matthew this is fucking awesome."

"Yea?" He asks, smiling at you.

"Yes, god I could kiss you right now." You laugh.

He just stares at you smiling, and you can't help but smile at him even larger, you're both just sitting on the bathroom floor now, staring and giggling at each other, smiles never leaving your faces. You both take another line and afterwards you reach for a second cider, you drink trying to wash the taste out and some of it drips down the side of your mouth, as you set the can down Matty's hand comes up to your face to wipe off the liquid, his thumb slightly touches the corner of your mouth and it's like the same switch had been flipped as it had at the dance.

In seconds you two are on each other like rabbits in heat, but it's not fast paced, in fact it's almost antagonizing how slow it is, but it's amazing nonetheless, like if what you felt with him the first time you kissed times ten. Your mouths moved in perfect sync, the taste of his tongue on yours was almost as addicting if not more than the high you both had. He quickly scoops you up and sets you up on counter and pulls you forward so your bodies are flush against one another, one hand now on you jaw as his other has made its way up your leg and under your skirt, his thumb rubbing at your inner thigh, you can feel the wetness pooling in your underwear as he pulls away to breath.

"Fuck- Matty." You whine.

"Yea baby? What do you want?" He asks, his lips making their way to the crook of your neck.

"You, want you." Your hand tugs on his curls and he moans.

His hand toys with the edge of your underwear as he speaks. "Then have me June Bug."

Part 4 (coming soon-ish)

a/n: whelp here it is, sorry for the smut tease i couldn't help it, i promise the next part will have actual smut, anyway past Matty and reader have reconciled! but future Matty and reader are still iffy but who knows?? huh? anyway a chapter to end the night xx

[hollister-mc]

A rant/dump about my current MHA project, I avoid spoilers for the current arcs

Yall I'm literally ill, I've never had a show impact me this much, I've never had characters affect me this much. I stopped watching mha during the Eri arc due to personal shit, like me moving and just losing motivation to watch. I still consumed the media, like fanfics, or honestly chat bots, but I just didn't watch the show anymore. (still havnt but I'm working on it)

I have a long-term fanfic that I've been working on for like... years at this point. It's longer than The Great Gatsby currently. I flip-flopped forever on the main ship, and even if it was going to be an x reader. I think I've ultimately decided that it's going to be Bakudeku/OC. And I need yall to understand why.

I originally started this fanfiction years ago as kinda a crack fic. It was a self insert of me and my best friend at the time. We were twins I put us into the series. Of course, we started it cause we simped for the characters. I wrote it, and she would give me input and ideas, but I ultimately did the main work, which was fine, I was the writer. Our friendship slowly faded, and so I slowly stopped writing. I was hurt for a long time, we were best friends for like 8 years, and she gradually stopped talking to me after she got into her first relationship.

The fic was abandoned for a long time, until during a trip to go see my other best friend across country. We talked about what happened with my old friend. At one point I told her about the abandoned fic I had, how I had started the fic for fun for us, and we had sort of a plot line for our characters, but of course nothing serious, as my ex friend just stopped giving me input and ideas for everything. I told her it made me sad, but overall, I was just bitter from what my ex friend had done. My long-distance friend looked at me and said, "Why don't you just turn it into your own? Redo it. Consider it like a personal revenge." And that my friends, is what sparked a flame in me. I reformed everything, I actually developed lore, I made characters, storylines. In doing so, I realized the main characters were no longer me and my ex friend, but two completely new characters. I won't bullshit you, the main character used to be me, but she, Iris, has completely transformed into this new character. That's why I decided to make it an OC fanfic instead of reader. I put too much work and soul into her, there was no way to portray her in a vague light, enough for anyone to put themselves in her shoes. I worried for a bit, cause I know a lot of people don't like OC stories. But I personally never turned away from OC fics unless the characters personality was too much for me to focus on and insert myself into. Cause I won't lie. I read to escape my reality, most of the time, I put myself into the main characters' shoes. So I figured, I probably wasn't the only one. In the end, I'm doing this for me. If people enjoy it too, then damn that's a plus.

Another thing I want to be clear, yeah I started rewriting this story as a way to express my upset at my ex friend, but truthfully, it's no longer like that. When I think about what happened with my friend, sure, I'm still bitter sometimes. But for the most part, it's become a part of my past, theres nothing I can do to change anything. I've worked for the past few years writing, drawing, and just daydreaming about this story. Im not lying to you when I say there isn't a day that I don't think about it at least once. I haven't been able to write lately, and it's been killing me. I moved out for the first time in my life months ago, and before that I was so busy and worked to the bone I had no motivation to write, even when the thing I wanted to write about consumed my waking moments. I'm still exhausted, but goddamn if the new episodes and Manga chapters haven't grabbed me by the metaphorical balls and twisted. I won't go into detail for anyone who isn't caught up, I gave up on trying to avoid spoilers.

I think my biggest hesitation is the fandom, and potentially backlash. Is that I'm no longer the teenager that started this fic. A lot of people don't like that, and will probably see it as weird that I'm making a fanfiction based around teenagers, especially the romance part. But honestly, I don't care. I started loving these characters when I was their age in show, and I'm sorry that they don't age like I do, but unfortunately, for us all, I still have an unhealthy attachment to it. So we're just gonna deal with it. The other side was the question of ships. I bounced back and forth for a long time on if my OC was going to be with Deku or Bakugo. It was hard, cause my initial thought was 'fuck it, both' but I hesitated cause poly ships, especially like that, aren't common or popular in fandoms, or taken seriously like I want this fic to be. Recently in the fandom I've seen how much popular the Bakudeku ship has gotten, and I finally decided to say fuck it, and just go with my original idea. So this fic will not be a love triangle, well- honestly it'll have juicy dramatic parts, but I'm going agaisnt the norm and saying fuck it, they all love eachother. I myself am not poly, (at least I think? Idk I'm unlabeled, the only poly relationships I've ever thought about being a part of are with fictional characters lol) So it won't be perfect and maybe not entirely accurate. If anyone who is poly wants to give me advice I'd be open and appreciative of it. Now that, that's all out of the way...

I'm going to give a summary of my plot, and i want to know if you guys find it interesting.

In a world where humans are given superhuman abilities, the norm, quickly changes. This world is not black and white. Prejudice and discrimination never truly leave humans, if it's not one thing, it's another. And in this world, if you don't have a quirk, or if your quirk is seen as undesirable or... potentially dark in nature, then you are immediately singled out and ostracized.

Our main characters, Iris and Ivy Blackwood, are born into an unfair world, where they are ultimately dealt with a hand that is hard to burden. Being the children of famous pro heroes is one thing, it's another when said pro heroes are constantly in the eye of the public. A scandal happens every week, it seems. You can't go far in research without seeing someone question the pro heroes' motives. Forsythe and Natalia Aphelion-Blackwood are powerful people, with powerful quirks to match. What sets them aside is the nature of their powers, powers that aren't normally seen as heroic. In fact, the whole blood line is filled with ominous powers, shadey actions, and downright morally questionable choices. When these two families married together, the media burst. Obviously, it was a quirk marriage. The only thing was they just couldn't prove it. When the twins were born, everyone waited in baited unease. Just what the hell could these bloodlines produce in power? Surely it couldn't be that bad...

Ivy's quirk manifested shortly after her twin, sprouting fox ears and tail(s) her quirk was Kitsune. Similar to her father's shape-shifting quirk, but of course had stark differences. Iris, on the other hand? Well, let's just say she won't be stepping into churches anytime soon... At the ripe age of 5, Iris Blackwood sprouted, wings, horns, a tail, claws, and red eyes to match. This girl was given powers seemingly from the devil himself. Her quirk? Demon. The nature of her power is unknown, the extent? unknown. No quirk specialist stuck around to figure out just what the hell she could do, but from the brief research done, it's believed the girl is able to do whatever a demon can do... What an odd analysis, considering no one really knows what that can entell.

Iris was forced to keep her abilities under lock and key, with great luck she's able to hide her physical features. The rest of her powers, she doesn't know, and she honestly doesn't want to find out. She's trying to become a hero, what kind of hero has a power like that? The twins' parents put them on a path, one that was built and prepped long before they were even born, what a burden to put on children. Iris wants to defy all odds, to show the world that she's not her quirk. It doesn't matter if no one believes in her, not even her own parents. She has her sister, her twin, someone who's been by her side since birth. Someone who will always have her back, that will never change... right?

This story is one of betrayal, manipulation, all kinds of abuse, moral questioning, and even questioning of one's sanity... but it's also a story of friendship, trust, found family, love, and the indomitable human spirit. This is the very definition that sometimes, your family can end up being the ones you share no blood with.

Okay, so tell me, does that sound interesting? I hope so, cause these characters, this plot, has been on my mind for years nonstop, it's something that needs to be told. And I feel like a lot of people can relate to some of the things in this fic. I'm currently rewriting the first 6 or so chapters, cause once I picked up the story again long ago, I just kept writing from where I left off, so the first chapters aren't adjusted to the new direction the fanfiction is now going. It's going to be Canon compliant but not perfectly, it will have its own arcs and storyline, and of course, depending on how the show finishes, I'll have to adjust. But overall, I love the plot of MHA, so I don't want to change too much. I appreciate anyone who supports me with this. Thank you guys a lot. Stay tuned.

[leaveitalonesky]

Fic Mondays #1 - Sep/24 week 1

ok, so this is a thing I'm trying to make where every week I do a compilation of fics I've read. Since this is the first one I'm doing like a favorite fics kind of thing

How Two Become Three - Chapter 1 - nikonic - Criminal Minds (US TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Criminal Minds Ship: Jemily/Reader (poly) Why I rec it: This is the first work in a LONG series (like, really long. Don't know how the author does it). The series varies a lot from angst, to smut, to fluff. I think this author does a really good job portraying and talking about triggering topics. And I absolutely love the consent and kink conversations throughout the stories. I recommend subscribing to the series or the author to get updates, since it's still being updated regularly.

Love Comes Quietly - Chapter 1 - Kattwyllie - Criminal Minds (US TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Criminal Minds Ship: Alex Blake/Reader Why I rec it: This is a very sweet roommates turned lovers. I like the writing, and I love the pacing of this fic.

Safety - Chapter 1 - DemonOfPuns - Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Resident Evil Village Ship: Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader (at some point reader becomes an original character) Why I rec it: The smut is 10/10, but the development of the relationship both between Sasha and Alcina; but also Sasha and the daughters is one of the cutest things I've read. I think this is one of my favorite fanfics of all time. It's long, it's got a good amount of angst; a good amount of fluff and the smut is sensational.

show me where it hurts - Chapter 1 - andromedusia - The Morning Show (TV 2019) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: The Morning Show Ship: Alex Levy/Maggie Brener Why I rec it: This is a masterpiece. It changed the chemistry of my brain and it changed me forever. Not only that, but I feel like there's a scene in this one that if it was canon it would've been an award winning scene.

far from broken - gleamin - The Morning Show (TV 2019) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: The Morning Show Ship: LAMB Why I rec it: This is so soft, and so cute. And a beautiful portrait of LAMB as a poly ship. This one changed my brain too, because you know what it made me see Bradley and Maggie differently.

com letras douradas, num papel bonito - jenhardings - The Morning Show (TV 2019) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: The Morning Show Ship: Alex Levy/Maggie Brener Why I rec it: The song this fic is based gives the perfect prompt. It's angsty and also kind of sweet at the same time.

Golden Cuffs - Chapter 1 - Kelyon - Once Upon a Time (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Once Upon a Time Ship: Rumpelstiltskin/Belle Why I rec it: This is a heavy-BDSM story. It's been a while since I've read it, to be honest with you. But I remember liking it a lot. And yes, this is probably the only fic with a f/m ship. I'm really not a fan of straight ships, I don't read fanfiction of them cause we usually have a lot of canon stuff. But rumbelle had some of the most amazing writers in a fandom, and to be honest, I'm sure there will be more fics of this ship in later editions of fic mondays.

the wine, the women, the bedroom hymns - asexualizing (Specialcookies) - Abbott Elementary (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Abbott Elementary Ship: Ava/Melissa/Barbara Why I rec it: This is the best use of a soulmate au scenario in a fic. By far; it's absolutely genius. Just go read it, do yourself that favor. (It's a bit angsty though, be warned.)

what will the signal be for your eyes to see me - TechnicolorRevel - Doctor Who (2005) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Thirteen Doctor/Yasmin Khan Why I rec it: This is another BDSM story, although not heavy. This one is beautiful, the characters are so well written in this.

a taste of infinity - Linnea_Ancalime - Doctor Who (2005) [Archive of Our Own]

Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Thirteen Doctor/Reader Why I rec it: One of the few x reader with non binary reader. It's smut, very soft. Delicious stuff.

[jacaranda-bloom]

Thank you to @allwaswell16 @disgruntledkittenface @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for tagging me to do the Fics by the numbers challenge, this was super fun!

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

I got a bit carried away, so I've put most of this under the cut.

Fic with the most hits: (55,698) In A Twinkling - No surprises here, I guess. My first foray into the world of Advent Fics was a whirlwind. Something about this story just (and I strongly believe the chapter-a-day release method was the driving forcer here) really drew people in. FUN FACT - Out of all of my fics, this is the only one I've never re-read. I feel like I lived and breathed this story so intensely as it was posting, and it was such a unique and special experience, that I almost want to keep it in a little time capsule forever.

Fic with the second most kudos: (1,737) When Tomorrow Comes This is probably the fic of mine that people come back to read more than any other, which is so lovely and quite surprising, as it's only 11k. I adore writing ABO. It's my fave trope, I think. I remember when I read my first ABO fic, Swim In The Smoke (and yes I know, I was late to the party here, and the world of fanfic in general), I was blown away. FUN FACT - This fic is not just 11k, it's actually exactly 11,111 words. I recall finishing the story and it landed on this word count, and I was like - whoa., okay then. But then I had to go back and make a few late edits before it posted, so I had to purposefully make sure it still came out at 11,111, because, you know. Why not?

Fic with the third most comments: (234) From Dust To Lust - This one is a bit of a surprise, but then I went back and looked at some of the comments and was reminded of the overwhelming love this fic received. This love was headed up by none other than @disgruntledkittenface, who practically inhaled this story and whose comments are so kind and enthusiastic that they give me life. Thank you, Maggie, I adore you. FUN FACT - I wrote this story for one scene and one scene only. It's in Chapter 3 and the rest of the story is just an enabler to allow me to indulge in that moment. For anyone who has read the fic, you'll know exactly which one I'm talking about, and for those who haven't, maybe this is enough of a tease to encourage you to go and check it out hahaha.

Fic with the fourth most bookmarks: (755) Player - Well, well, well. Hello there, old friend. This one is such a fun ride. Harry is a pro tennis player and Louis is his Publicist. It's an easy job for Louis 'cause, you know, Harry's amazing, until he Instagram's an x-ray to his 18 million followers that just happens to clearly show his dick. I'm a bit surprised that this has the fourth most bookmarks, but it's been appearing on a few rec lists lately (thanks @allwaswell16 !!) and is experiencing a bit of a resurgence in interest. FUN FACT - This fic was inspired by a true incident when UK tennis pro, Andy Murray, did exactly this back in 2019 after his hip surgery. No seriously. Google it. It's brilliant.

Fic with the fifth most words: (55,916) If You're Out There (I'll Find You Somehow) - Oh man. This fic. Okay, so, firstly, if I'm ever asked if there is a story of mine I've most proud of, or one that I hope people will read, it's probably this one. The challenge is, that it isn't everyone's cup of tea. It's a hybrid fic. Yup. I can already feel you scanning down this post to the next bullet point. But wait! Hear me out. Yes, Louis is a kitten hybrid (a kybrid), so he has a tail and cat ears, and he hasn't had the best life, nor have any hybrids for that matter. And it's a historical fic without any fixed time period, because the world is entirely invented, so readers have to allow themselves to be completely immersed in what I present them. But, while the world is hard and unfair at times, good triumphs in the end, and in a way that is truly uplifting. The Epilogue is possibly one of the best things I've ever written and I swear I cry happy tears every time I re-read it (which is a lot). FUN FACT - The story that nearly wasn't. At the time I wrote this story I'd sort of been inhabiting a nice little corner of the fanfic world. Each new story I put out there was easy enough to write and people were receiving them well and enjoying my imaginations. When this idea came to me though, it knocked me on my ass. I thought about it constantly. It consumed my musing by day and invaded my dreams by night. But writing a hybrid fic seemed like I was stepping out onto a new landscape and it was pretty scary not knowing how people would respond. There were plenty of times when I nearly gave up and packed it in, but I had lovely people around me to encourage me and keep that fire lit. And so, I persevered, and I'm so glad I did.

Fic with the fewest words: (666) Exposed - This fic was so much fun to write! It was written for the Trick or Treat Fest back in 2019 and had a word count requirement of exactly 666 words. I'm not much for shorter fics because I like to write whole story arcs, so the challenge for me was to try and do that in 666 words. FUN FACT - This is 1 of only 2 fics, out of 63 total fics that I've written, that is rated Mature. The other 61 are rated Explicit. I managed to justify a mature rating in 666 words because Louis is basically naked for the entirety while he's posing as a live-art installation covered in body paint hahaha.

I’m a bit behind on doing this challenge and I don't know who else has participated, but I'll tag these lovely writers if they'd like to share: @ireallysawanangel @louandhazaf @neondiamond @beardyboyzx @lululawrence @larry-hiatus @larrysballetslippers @hellolovers13.

[echogekkos-writes]

💖👻👀😈📝🧠!!!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I'm not actually sure how to answer this. Perhaps it's due to my terrible consistency with finishing fics and my tiny collection of oneshots and half finished fics. Maybe my ideas/plot lines for my stories? Best I can answer 😅

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

A very early fic into miphlink. The Way the River Flows. It was intended to be a full pre-calamity fic set before BoTW. I started writing this way before AoC was announced. So with AoC being right there, and my own new hc with miphlink since starting that fic, it is effectively dead.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

Oooo. Hmmm. Well there are a few, two only cause they are forever in WIP hell, and it's been literal years since I've touched them. But early on in my fic writing, I had two story ideas.

One being a retelling of Jak 2 & Jak 3 from Jinx's point of view. The other being a Halo AU where Spartan B-312, Noble Six, survives the events of Reach and falls for a female Elite after his capture when they are forced to work together.

That and a few half finished self indulgent miphlink smut that I just can't bring myself to post >_>

I'm not sure if these will see the light of day.

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

I'm not actually sure I can answer this, since I feel my writing style is a little generic right now, and I haven't set myself apart from anyone yet with my own writing identity. But if I had to pick one thing, probably the suffering I like to put my characters through, whether it be emotional or physical....all for that sweet sweet comfort payoff.

📝 What is one growth area you have for your writing?

Definitely being more descriptive with my fics and doing more showing not telling. What I feel I need to work on/grow more into.

🧠 What's an idea you have thay you can't quite call a WIP yet?

An AoC re-write but lots more miphlink, mostly told through Mipha's PoV with a few chapters from other PoV's to help set up miphlink and cover events of the game Mipha is not there for.

Also a miphlink post AoC AU where Link is declared by Rhoam to be Zelda's husband-to-be, based on the providence of Hylia and supposed History of Hyrule. Right before Mipha intends to present the Armor to Link. What follows is a huge political fallout and drama between Hyrule and Zora's Domain and lots and lots of hurt/comfort.

[imagineacoolusername]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for tagging me @wellbelesbian @prettygoododds and @ileadacharmedlife <33

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

26, but for some reason, up until now i always thought i had 25

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

63,729

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i mean it's been ages since i've written anything, but i only write for carry on and the marauders fandom

4.. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

golden

moony?

summer lovers

a-door-able

spanish lessons

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do. i'm terrible at it and i always respond the same way and i feel like it's not authentic, but i love getting comments

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably the end of a bloodline, which i think it's more sad than angsty. i'm just not very big on writing angst

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

idk they all have happy endings, but maybe first snow cause it's just an overall happy fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i don't, i can't even properly write a kissing scene, let alone a whole ass sex fic

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't. not a big fan of crossovers to be honest

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, but i doubt it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in my wattpad days, when i was like thirteen, me and a friend decided to co-write fic, but we never finished it

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

wolfstar no doubt. i love snowbaz so much, but wolfstar is just my comfort ship, they have my heart

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

at this point, i feel like 95% of my wips will stay unfinished in my google docs forever :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

i honestly have no idea. maybe coming up with a fic idea? i like to think all of them are pretty good, but it's the execution where i struggle

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

going from one scene to another. and also dialogue sometimes. there's either too much of it or not enough

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i actually have a wip that's set in spain, and james and remus speak spanish in several instances bc that's the language they have in common. i doubt i'll ever finish it though

19. First fandom you wrote for?

marauders

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

summer lovers. that fic is my baby and i know it could be improved but i love it and idk it's just my favourite.

i'm a bit late doing this so i'm pretty sure most of you have already been tagged, but still, i wanna tag @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @valeffelees @artsyunderstudy @orange-peony @martsonmars @bugboyremus @lesbianmckinnonn @enbysiriusblack <33

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[majorbaby]

kinktober retrospective

it's harder to write to kinks than i thought??? or rather, there aren't that many kinks that i'm that interested in writing?? how shameful. in future years i will endeavour to be less vanilla.

was getting into fights with myself constantly about what qualifies as "kink" which lead to my reading john money's "lovemaps" and a few other clinical pieces on the subject.

it was a good way to knock out ideas i'd had that had been languishing as WIPs forever, or worse, just in my brain. lbr i was never going to write the multichapter BJ/Peg bondage fic, it's out now as a 3K word ficlet, the way it had to be if it was ever going to be written

on that note - short stories are so fun and some stories are better suited to a smaller wordcount. underutilized formats include: the two-parter and the single/double/triple drabble that used to be popular. i like marathon smut as much as the next person but realistically, shorter formats are very practical for porn? do we not all appreciate a quickie on days when we just don't have the time? gonna start calling these short, smutty ficlets: quicklets

i'm bad at writing to prompts!!! brain refuses to stay on topic. buildup makes smut better in my opinion but I always end up with 2K words of buildup and 1K words of smut and i would love if that ratio is reversed. next time i think i will put in place some kind of visual reminder like *BUILDUP ENDS HERE* so that I remember where...

oh man. part way through i started becoming very curious about ~the science of pornography~ glorious beast, i want to understand you. but the word "pornography" is so politicized, you can barely study it as a field. typed the word "pornography" into goodreads and the first 10 pages are mostly anti-porn or anti-sex-work puritan propaganda. if you actually want to learn about pornography (not simply how to defeat it in combat) you cannot even refer to it by name. you instead have to use words like "erotica" or "erotic literature" which - i don't have anything against the words themselves and technically what i'm doing is "erotica" but i am so allergic to the hierarchy of designated "high art" vs "low art" and i have no interest in joining the ranks of "high art", but it's easy to get into ones head about self-indulgent fanfiction and start quietly thinking of it as "erotica"

something to be said about "fun" as a motivator. i read a quote once from neil gaiman where he said "i don't enjoy writing but i enjoy having written" and i think there is definitely some truth to that but also i have totally experienced vibrant joy while writing and at some point i'd like to examine how i come to that exactly... although "examining" the thing seems counterintuitive to replicating. perhaps it just is. the pieces i enjoyed writing the most were hawktrapollie spitroasting (i also had huge amounts of fun writing the 12K smutfic i did for them back in january of this year so maybe it's just that i enjoy that ship a lot) and the ginger/trapper pegging piece. interestingly, though they are my #1 OTP, I can't say I've ever come anywhere close to having the same amount of fun writing trapper/hawkeye, although I rarely find them to be a slog...

the piece that caused me the greatest difficulty was BJ/Peg. probably because it (TMI, perhaps!) does not turn me on at all. I was just interested in getting a point across, and I'm glad I did. but the whole time I was like "eh" about it. I think these kinds of writing exercises are important, but I wonder if I should have strived to find some kind of angle of enjoyment. actually, here's where mr. gaiman's point really applies... I'm glad I wrote it, but I did not enjoy writing it.

[courfee]

20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

Thank you for the tag @snarky-magpie <333

1. How many works do you have on A03? 14 published, 1 hidden.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 315,642

3. What fandoms do you write for? harry potter (mostly marauders and back in the day on ff.de also next gen, tho there is a golden era one happening atm), les miserables, and i used to write a handful of doctor who drabbles

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule 2. blindspot 3. All My Theory Complete 4. Borrow My Name 5. If you ask nicely

5. Do you respond to comments? Usually yes, though I am very very bad with responding (in general, not just ao3 this is a all messages kinda problem) and sometimes im off of ao3 for a solid 3 months before i check my inbox again. i am so sorry for all that, i do read all the comments when i get email notifs for them, i just often dont have the spoons to reply then and there.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably On Lies And Spies since it's a canon compliant peter fic, tho i think my prongsfoot fic might also be up there for competiton... (if we go off of ao3 i am currently writing a basically everyone dies fic and have written an angsty fred&george os on my first fic account)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'd say operation wanker, probably

8. Do you get hate on fics? mm yeah.. amtc specifically... idk what it is with that fic but ive had all kinds of things said there... people who hated the ending, people who thought no one should ever forgive james, people who said no one should ever forgive sirius, people being just in general mean (and not even in english??).. especially the comments in the bookmarks suck, ive had several people rate that fic out of 10, have had people write an entire list of what i should have done different etc etc... it sucks cause i still like that fic a lot, the first long fic ive ever finished, but its reached a point where im scared when people tell me theyre going to start reading it :(

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeahh ive written one jegulus smut fic. it was supposed to be a one shot for practicing purpose of seeing if i can do it and got slightly out of hand....

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've started writing one chronicles of syntax hogwarts au before and i did a comic forever ago where the 10th doctor and rose end up in hogwarts meeting the next gen crew

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? someone started translating amtc

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I've had plans, but we haven't yet gotten beyond the planning stage. would love to try it some time tho!!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? whatever the fuck james and sirius have going on, their relationship has been my favourite for all eternity

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My jegulus Krabat AU. I so badly want to have it written because i want to read it, but unfortunately the world is just not something i like writing in all that much

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing (un)healthily codependent friendships (aka james and sirius, (or the triumvirate)) and probably also consistency with little details

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. I suck at it. i am very much a paper thinker, so if i dont write i cant think

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? depends on the context? it has to work with the story line and characters and id rather use it sparingly

19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter (my first published fic was next gen, my second marauders all the way back in 2011)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? probably either operation wanker or on lies and spies

no pressure tagging @messymoony @static-radio-ao3 @otrtbs @iceprinceofbelair @alarainai @delicris

[justfor2am]

it is midnight i have been on n off asleep since like 7 .anyways perspective flip, bts, for want of a nail, + a thousand words of the unusual fic asks? for whatever fics u want as usual 🫡

doing these ones out of order because brain said so, anyways— BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from: [7th Sense] (Chapter 9: he's picking a lock he doesn't go into)

The final scene of that chapter, with grian and mumbo, is probably my favorite part of this fic so far, mostly because i'm getting to explore a different side of depression than I often see written in fics.

usually, you get the sadness, the shaking, the no talking/no eating, the limp, wilted flower who needs to be saved. and yes, depression is that sometimes, but it can be, and often is, so much messier than that.

it's anger. it's misplaced frustrations because the truth is too scary to confront, it's knowing you need to shower/brush your teeth/get dressed and being unable to do it anyways. it's not doing those things on purpose because you think you don't deserve them. it's quiet lethargy, it's restless nights that turn into a room ripped apart because you just can't fucking sleep so you're making it someone else's problem.

it's the lashing out at someone who means the world to you, because maybe this time they're take the hint and leave forever. it's knowing deep down that you're too scared to ask for help, and that you didn't mean to help them.

grian isn't magically better by the end of the chapter. his room's still a mess, he still hasn't eaten or gotten cleaned up, and he half asses his way through an apology to mumbo.

but he asks mumbo to open the window. and they both know the deeper meaning in that gesture, knowing that it was that very window that scar escaped into the night. that it's been firmly shut since then. it's progress, like it or not. _________ For Want of a Nail: If Scar had died giving Grian his life force in: [though i've closed my eyes, i know who you pretend i am] the ending, i'm sure you can imagine, is much more depressing. Eleri, the elven queen, would be without an heir to her bloodline, and the grief of losing her only son, the last blood family she had, would cause her magic to lash out, and cast the kingdom into a century of darkness. somewhere in that time, the heartbreak would kill her.

in the mad scramble to find someone to take over, gem would accept the offered kingdom, but feel immense regret over the situation, partially blaming herself for scar's death. if she had kept quiet and agreed to marry him in the first place, would he still be alive?

mumbo, now without a ward, would pledge himself to grian's aid, who very much does not want mumbo's help. grian is the most guilt-stricken of them all, half of scar's life force now pounding in his chest, keeping grian alive. that coupled with newfound avian instincts, and no mate to help ease him through the new magic in his blood, grian would be an complete mess, unwillingly relying on mumbo to keep his instincts at bay. it would be a few decades until, eventually, grian would isolate himself in the nearby mountain range, somewhere far too cold for a vampire like mumbo to follow.

grian would live out the rest of his days more animal than man, a self-inflicted penance for costing his lover his life.

good thing that didn't happen, right? _________ A Thousand Words: I’ll create a photoset/gifset that, IMO, sums up the main themes/concepts I intended for [the blood i'm owed is all yours] (trying to motivate myself to update the damn thing lmao)

compromise, i'm doing a playlist instead because this post is long enough as is. no particular listening order, put this bitch on shuffle king

_________ Perspective Flip: I’ll write a scene from [Why Do I (Even Try?)] from another character’s point-of-view (Chapter 18: just count to ten, and try to breathe)

(italics are original text, i wrote this stream-of-conscious style literally this moment so sorry if it's not super cohesive)

Grian hid behind his wine glass, the ruby drink only brightening his blush. "Rule two, no letting the public find out. I've got a lick of sense about me, and I know that we would be immediately framed as me being the pity points, some kinda mangy boyfriend, and I'd like to pass on that part of the publicity train, thank you very much."

"I think you would make an incredibly handsome boyfriend, but continue."

It was too easy to rile Grian up, Scar genuinely wondered if it was worth taunting him this early into their evening. It was cute, watching him try to gloss over Scar's attacks, deflecting with his own pointed silence. The game was fun, but half the joy was in the end result.

"Most importantly, rule number three." Grian set down his glass, purely for dramatic effect. "No falling in love with one another."

This one caught Scar off guard. He hoped Grian couldn't tell in his face, quickly clearing his throat to fix his soured expression. Right. Of course. This was transactional at best: Scar would receive Grian's company in the form of sex, meaningless hook ups between co-workers. At least, that's how Grian was presenting the idea.

Scar didn't want that. He wasn't after only the physical, as much of a nice bonus as it could be. He wanted to know Grian, really know him, reach the parts that the man kept hidden from the world and fall into his mind; Scar wanted all of Grian, not just the surface level.

Even so, he knew that for Grian, sex was so much more than surface level. It was a serious gesture of trust, and not one Scar was willing to betray. But that didn't mean Scar would give up his love so easy, and let himself be heartbroken in favor of physical intimacy.

Some way, some how, Scar would make a space for himself in Grian's heart. He owed it to himself to try, at the very least.

Scar grinned, and lifted his wine glass in toast. "Challenge accepted."

[tiffanylamps]

Fic writer interview

thank you for the tag, @katierosefun and @l-tyrell 💛💛💛

name/nicknames: bo is one of my r/l nicknames that I've had since I was born. It's actually a nickname of a nickname. It comes from my dad calling me bobo baggins and I hated it until about 5 years ago. I'm also called lamps (thanks to the wonderful @b1uetrees) by a few people here. Overall, I don't really mind what I'm called (as long as it's not tiffany as that can cause confusion due to the fact that it's an actual name, but not my name)

fandoms: beyond evil... what else?? lol 🤭 I used to write for other fandoms years ago but those works have long been deleted. I stopped writing/reading fanfiction altogether many years ago but then beyond evil came into my life and now lives rent-free in my brain

two shots?: Uhhhh yeah, I have an unsuccessful one 😂 My fic Your Love's Whore currently remains as an incomplete two-shot, due to the fact that I really don't like it and feel no desire to complete it (not going to tag it cause it's ew)

most popular multi-chapter fic: for sure it's Indoctrination, which comes as no surprise because it's the first fic I wrote for BE. So, it's had the most time to get traction. But also, it's the only multi-chapter fic I've completed 🙃

actual worst part of writing: having dyslexia and being perpetually insecure. I constantly get in my way, I'm my biggest critic and worst non-fan. I rarely like what I write and only tend to see the mistakes/negatives, instead of the positives. So.... me. I'm the worst part. Also, my concentration. I have so many abandoned wips/ideas because I lose interest in them far too quickly

how you choose your titles: The name of the Baptism trilogy (Indoctrination, By Desire, Martyrdom) was taken from religious jargon and the rest were either taken from song titles/lyrics, or from quotes/poetry/literature that I feel supports the themes of the story

do you outline?: yeah. Either I know point A and point B and let myself work out the journey one to the other as I write (my favourite way of working), or I write down loads of notes (before I forget them forever)... and there was that one time I wrote an 8K outline for a story I didn't end up writing 😩😂 Examples:

(Cay, I stole your trick of naming individual chapters with funny summaries. thank you xoxo 🤭🤭)

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: i have sooo many! I'm very good at coming up fic ideas but pretty terrible at actually writing them to completion. I'm going to ignore my current published wips and instead share 3 ideas I WISH I could write: my jwds workplace au (13 chapters of just the cutest flirting. I love it, I still hope to complete it one day) a jwkh fic that explores their relationships with a big dollop of Han Toxicity (and lots of feelings) (i love them so much) jw/ds/jy based on the song Girl Crush 👀 (it's a jwds love story, really... but with extra steps and a bunch of Repressed Sexualities... a "what if?" fic)

callouts @ me: 1) interaction is not the purpose of writing. you're writing for yourself, not for numbers 2) stop comparing yourself to others 3) give it time. you don't have to be productive constantly

best writing traits: oooooffff... Uhm, I would say that when I have a good grasp of a character's personality, I am able to paint a vivid picture of their emotions and motivations. I feel like I'm also good at creating a sweet spot (of sorts) between melancholy and happiness when exploring love (my love stories are often underlined with sadness and angst)

spicy tangential opinion: STOP GATEKEEPING CHARACTERS. you don't own them. they cannot be owned, so therefore, you don't get to dictate to other creatives how they should interpret that character. You're not any better because you see a character in one way and some people see them in another. It's fiction. It's meant to be fun. Stop making people uncomfortable with how they explore their passions just because it doesn't meet your standards. That's just- ugh. Stop. Plus, like, with all my love and sincerity... who the fuck are you? Y'know? We're all just some guy on a website sharing pixels and opinions, so... let's just have fun and give each other the space to feel welcome 💛

tag, you’re it (if you'd like to! no pressure!): @loisroo @ettelwenailinon @unrememberedskies

thanks for including me, this was fun! 💛