#probably bc ​there’s not much variety in the sounds he uses in his production

[mercurialshigh]

don’t hate me but renegade is kind of mediocre imo

[heymeowmao]

2022.04.10 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324756769464517269

I’ll stream for a little bit~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I’m Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~! LYN: Ehe~ I’m back again.

Comment: Xiao Ning, I was thinking of you. LYN: See~ You think of me and ‘gwa’ (funny sound effect) here I am.

LYN: Happy weekend, friends. 

Comment: The last stream isn’t finished yet, but you’re here again. LYN: When you’re eating or doing whatever, it’s best to get to it while it’s hot. A hot meal. Hot soup. My streams, too. You should watch them while they’re “hot”. 

Comment: I’m out eating bbq. LYN: Eat some for me too. 

- went out early for filming and came back early too, so he thought he’d stream a while. bc in the next few days he wont have the time. 

Comment: Lao-da, I’m a grad student now. LYN: Wow, so amazing. That’s great! 

LYN: There are new fans reporting in as well. I haven’t even released anything lately... Looks like I’m going to be “hot” soon. I haven’t even done anything and I still have new fans. I’m happy :)

Comment: I’m also a grad student! LYN: You all are so amazing. I’m jealous and also feel like you’re giving me a lot of face. I hope you do well- don’t waste this opportunity. 

Comment: Ge, your streams are also your products. LYN: I said earlier that I didn’t have any works out, but I guess you can say it that way. Streaming is also one of my skills. As an artist I’m trying to work every angle I can. I’m a pretty decent singer, right? /sings a line of “Tian Xia” and his mic cuts out/ LYN: I sang too well. I sang too well and my mic couldn’t take it.  Comment: Was that on purpose? LYN: No! My audio interface couldn’t handle my single high note. It’s okay now. I wasn’t acting! That was real!! LYN: As I was saying- I’m a pretty decent singer, and now I’ve started to act. I’ve been in three aired dramas and I guess you could say two of them were pretty popular. I’m good at streaming. My variety show appearances aren’t lacking either. I used to look like a fool on them but I’m a lot better now. I was laying in bed the other day thinking about where I’m lacking. Where do I lack? So I could quickly make up time for it. But the more I thought about it, it seems the only place I fail as an artist is with dancing. Dancing.... let’s forget it. People will always have some place they are lacking, and I lack the ability to dance. Comment: LYN, don’t give up on dance! LYN: I really can’t do it. I’m not very coordinated and no matter how much I practice I just can’t get it.  - shows off another skill: balancing a bottle on his head

Comment: Are you going to do the voice-acting for Zi Chuan soon? LYN: Yeah, if I finish up early enough tomorrow I’ll get started on it. We’ll probably work on it for about a week or so. They asked me if I wanted to voice my own character and I said “Of course~” I don’t care what lines I have or how bad my Mandarin is, I want to voice my own characters. If I can’t do it well, then I’ll learn. I really think practicing through the voice acting has helped me improve a lot- because every time you do the voice acting it’s a different emotion and experience.   Comment: Which one is Zi Chuan? LYN: I was filming for this one last year. A lot of people might not know about it because it’s a more male-oriented novel- a very great series of novels- that have now been adapted into a drama.  Comment: Does Di Lin have a lot of scenes? LYN: I’ve been taking second or third - fourth or fifth male lead roles, so the scene count really isn’t that much. Also the one novel has too much content to be adapted into a single season of a drama. We shot 48 episodes’ worth but this is possibly only the first part. This counts as the first season... and honestly we’ll only get a second season if the ratings are alright.  Comment: Will there be a second season? LYN: Only if it does well. Like “Joy of Life”- that had pretty good reception and is getting a second season. But if it doesn’t do well and you start shooting for a second season.. what’s the point. You know? Comment: Di Lin doesn’t die in the first season? LYN: No spoilers. The season is only half of the story.  Comment: Will the second season have the original cast? LYN: I feel like second seasons that have actor changes is a little bit meaningless. :| But it should be the original cast.

- Heroes is airing Mid-May + Detective Plan + Streams = we get to see Ning-ge all the time, plus he’ll tell us fun behind the scenes stories/share his experiences while filming

Comment: How many episodes is Heroes?  LYN: I think it’s 46? Or 38? I forgot.

Comment: You’ve got the nickname of “Brother of Inner Peace” now LYN: I don’t dare take it. You’re exaggerating a little, my friends. Because in my house (fandom) there are just a few UN-peaceful individuals. There are some people- I know they do it in my best interests, I understand- but they like to fight with others. They say some... some things that shouldn’t be coming out of a little girl’s mouth. XD I hope you can control yourselves. This title was created because I always tell my fans not to get involved in fights during my streams. I just think we could have a different type of interaction. LYN: First of all, I don’t interact with you all the same way other artists do. We’re different- I told you so. I play the game differently. You know how a lot of artists are out here getting cast in dramas? The other day I was thinking- I asked my studio if we should stop accepting roles for the rest of the year. But what will I do in that time? I’ll stay in Hengdian- and cameo in EVERY drama that’s filming here. There are maybe around 40-50 different drama crews that come through Hengdian in one year. I’ll go cameo in ALL of them. And then in the next three years, every drama that comes out will have a character I played in it.  LYN: If I wanted to cameo in a drama... in the name of networking, they’d all let me go, right? I don’t need any money- I just want to play. I’ll go around Hengdian for half a year cameo-ing in all the dramas that will let me. I’m SURE no actor in this generation has ever done such a thing before. That’s the first step. The second step is this: after so many cameo’s, I’ve got to have become familiar with a few producers, right? I’ll become friends with producers and directors, and at this point I think I can get signed for a few OSTs, right? If I could get 40-50 OSTs in a year... amazing.

Comment: Can you say this on air? LYN: Oh, right. Can I?

LYN: In any case- my way of thinking and what I have in mind for the development of my career is much different from what my fans are thinking for me. Whatever they think- I want to go in a different direction. That’s my own way of thinking, but whether I can actually achieve them or not is up to my own abilities. I just want to do something different from everyone else. If I play the same game as them, I’m not even as handsome as they are anyway. Secondly, I’m not as young. Third, I’m not as beautiful. I just want to do something different. I hope my fans can play along with me, too. We’ll be in our own little playground, you know?

- also advises his fans not to get involved in fights when they have his name in their IDs. if you REALLY need to pick a fight, use a secondary account. XD LYN: Didn’t you say that if the whole world was against me, you’d have my back? The problem here is that the world doesn’t have anything against me, but you’re MAKING them have something against me. You just want to stand behind me right? Just stand there! You don’t need to take the first step (and make the world hate him).  Comment: Anti-fans will cause trouble. LYN: It’s normal for an artist to have anti-fans. There’s not one artist out there who doesn’t have anti-fans. If there’s an artist with no anti-fans and no one making up or causing trouble because of them, then that means they’re not that great. Even anti-fans don’t want to be bothered with them. LYN: I hope my fans don’t start fights, and if other people are fighting then don’t get involved. Don’t add in your comments. If you really can’t stand it anymore and NEED to talk back use a secondary account. Don’t get me involved, alright? I’m over here shooting dramas, silently filming fight scenes every day- my whole arm is bruised. My body’s sore. Then when I get home for a much needed rest I find my heart in unease. 

- tells a student who has online classes to stop watching his stream and study, bc there’s always the playback for his stream, but not for classes. - the bgm makes him feel like he needs a wine glass, so he went to get one

Comment: What are we toasting? LYN: We’re toasting the fact that a lot of friends are graduate students now! Congrats.  Comment: There’s no sincerity. You’re only drinking water. LYN: Have you heard a saying from Dongbei, “As long as there are emotions, anything you drink is wine”?  Comment: I’m from Dongbei and I’ve never heard that?? LYN: Ehm... perhaps it’s not a saying from there then... 

Comment: Ning-ge, the veins on your arms are so sexy. LYN: Are you sick?? You see anything and it’s sexy? The veins on  my arms are sexy?? You must be a nurse. Do you normally give other people shots? Comment: Ning-ge, if a nurse sees your veins they’ll be quite happy because they’re big enough and they can jab the right place. Comment: Ning-ge, the dandruff on your head is quite sexy. LYN: ?? You must have liked oatmeal growing up, is that it? LYN: Let me tell you- when someone likes something, it always has something to do with their childhood. Think about it. But also- I don’t have dandruff. /threatening/ Don’t mess this up for me. I have a collab with a shampoo brand and some other beauty products right now. Don’t mess this up. My blur tool is on max just to protect my contracts, alright? People always want me to turn off my beauty filter- I might be alright but what do you want me to do about my brand partnerships? I can lose anything, but not my marketability. You can joke with me, but don’t mess up my way to make a living. 

-  Glory of Special Forces Opening OST -  The Book of Life LYN: Let me see if there’s a track for it and if there is, I’ll sing. Oh, there is! It’s from the currently-airing drama Glory of Special Forces. It’s a nice song. I was able to work with my “boss” again on this one. By “boss” I meant  Yang Yang. Isn’t the internet saying I’ve signed with his company? XD LYN: I really appreciate you guys making little clips of me from my streams- that’s how I get known for things like being the “Brother of Inner Peace” and things like that... but I hope that when I’m singing, you can cut clips from things that have been broadcast on tv. Or if it’s a song, I hope you can edit them really perfectly. I saw some clips online about the songs I covered- but they were the versions I sang during my streams! I mean, it’s alright, but it really breaks the mood. You’re watching a huge screen and all of a suddenly it’s me, wearing a Harry Potter cosplay, singing you a song. It’s looks weird. II’m afraid of messing up the song’s mood. So if you want to make clips I hope they’re from big stages or from my MVs! Clips from my streams aren’t very suitable! LOL. LYN: I also sang the ending theme song, but it’s not out yet. Let’s go with “Book of Life.”

~ we are now experiencing technical difficulties ~ (his mic cut out again) [aka 7min of panicked silence] LYN: /types “Wait for me!!!!!” onto the screen while he troubleshoots/

LYN: OMG. I’m covered in sweat. LYN: Alright. I’m sorry, excuse me. Let’s try that again. - /finishes singing his song/ LYN: Thank you guys, really. It’s ok. I think you can encounter some unexpected issues during any performance- there seems to be a problem with my audio interface. It’s fixed now.

LYN: All of a sudden I lost sound and you all are saying that I was acting. I wasn’t acting- that was all real. I’m covered in sweat now. I was so nervous- I found the time to stream today and you all came to watch; we finally came to a decent flow of conversation and then my audio cuts out. The whole stream would have been a flop. How embarrassing would that have been??

Comment: I’ve never heard such a great song in my life! LYN: This is the best song you’ve ever heard? Then I think you’ve wasted your life away. Of course, your life isn’t over yet- this is a little of an extreme praise. How can it be the best song you’ve EVER heard?? It’s just average. I sing averagely, the song is nice! LYN: I mean- you’re listening for free, aren’t you? It’s free on music sites and free to listen in my stream- it’s not like you bought tickets, right? So, since it’s free, let’s not get hung up on the quality. Comment: It’s great for us to be able to not pay a fee. LYN: I don’t think so. I feel like you have to pay something for CONTENT, so that the content will keep coming- not my content, though. For example I used to really like reading manhwa/cartoons- but you get to a certain point and they want you to pay to see the next chapters. I acknowledge this- I feel like it’s something I SHOULD be paying for. So even though you don’t have to pay a fee for my streams, I hope that when my drama airs you can pay a little bit to buy a membership to watch my drama. That’s fair, right? I thank you in advance.

LYN: I learned the other day how to hold a wine glass. You can’t hold it up here. I think they said that the warmth of your hand will affect the taste of the wine. So you have to hold the bottom. Even though I’m drinking water right now, let’s maintain that elegance. LYN: I hope that if you’re sitting in front of your computer or phone you can grab a cup or bottle of water as well. When I raise my glass we can toast each other.

Comment: is ALZ going to come out soon? LYN: As far as I know, I don’t think it’s coming anytime soon. I just heard today that you can reserve it, and I’m happy to hear that a lot of fans are. Of course, I know that they aren’t doing so for me, but I still have to thank you. I’m happy that people can support any drama I’ve been in, even if you weren’t there for me. I know some of you used to just skip over my scenes, but not this time. Because most of my scenes are with the two people you most want to see. LYN: I don’t know when it’s going to come out though, because they haven’t even asked me to do the voice acting yet. 

Comment: I love this face. LYN: Let me tell you- no matter how you praise me, I’m never shy. But if you praise me and say I have a nice looking face, I’ll be shy. My shyness comes from my lack of confidence. I’ll feel like you’re ridiculing me, but a little part of me wonders if you’re telling the truth. I don’t believe it, so I'm shy.  Comment: We’re being a little honest. LYN: /plays song association with the word “honest”/

Comment: Is your next drama’s contract done yet? LYN: It’s done.  - still can’t reveal any details yet, otherwise his stream really WOULD become a gossip blog Comment: Can you at least tell us how you got it? LYN: It came so mysteriously, my friends~ Comment: Don’t say anything, it’ll flop. LYN: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING??? I’ve already signed the contract, how could it flop?! - Comment: What’s HZT doing nowadays? LYN: Why are you asking me? Go to his weibo and leave HIM a comment asking him what he’s been doing lately. Why are you asking me- how would I know?? I actually do know, though. Isn’t this so coincidental. He sent me a message earlier today- you want to know what he wanted to chat about? You want to know how intellectual my conversations with him are?? He recommended a new game to me.  - Comment: Talk about Daimi.  LYN: There’s nothing to say. She’s been resting lately. She’s a girl, so... (she needs her privacy) (?). She’s been eating well! - Comment: Ning-ge, talk about how you got the drama part. How could you change the topic? LYN: Oh, you could tell? The whole rhythm of my stream and my inner thoughts can now be fully dissected by you. You know me too well.  - Comment: My son can sing this song of yours. LYN: Alright. Thank you, Aunty.  -  Comment: I can see right through you. LYN: You think I’m really like this glass of water? I’ll let you see right through me?? You’re messing with me. I’ve always been working on my mysterious image. Don’t you think I’m very mysterious? But now you can see through me just like this glass of water. XD

LYN: Hold on- sorry, I was replying to a message. Bai-laoshi is inviting me to dinner. Bye, friends. I’m going to dinner. I’m kidding- I told them I was streaming, so I wouldn’t go. He said fine, they’ll eat and watch my stream. LYN: See? Normal artists will rest after work. Where are you going to find another one who not only doesn’t rest but also comes here to stream for you?? WHERE? You can’t find another!! Other people are tired after a day of filming and want to have a nice meal and hang out, but not me. I eat something quick and come here to stream. Comment: A mukbang is fine too. LYN: They invited me to a meal and you want me to stream it- that’s impolite. I have a more traditional way of thinking since I grew up with my grandparents. For example, if I go out to eat with other people, I rarely touch my phone during the course of the meal. I’ll observe what everyone is saying and doing. I hope you can be the same- if you go out to eat with a friend then I hope you can have a nice chat together.  Comment: Who’s “Bai-laoshi”? Bai Jingting? LYN: LOL LYN: No, not him. It’s Bai Yicong-laoshi. Linghe’s CEO. Comments: Bai Choufei. // Bai Yu. LYN: Oh, I seem to know a lot of “Bai”s. Bai Yu celebrated his birthday a few days ago. Someone in the group chat sent him a birthday message and that’s when I found out... and sent him a birthday message too. The crew is really nice- they remember everyone’s birthdays and send a little message and clip on the day of. I don’t think I can make it, though. Because the show will be finished airing by the time my birthday rolls around again, in January. 

Comment: Ning-ge, what are you eating? Garlic? LYN: Yeah, garlic. (grapefruit)

LYN: Bai Jingting- I know him, but we don’t know each other. Just like with Bai Lu. I knew of her, of course, but I didn’t KNOW her. I was at an iQiyi event and Bai Jingting- if I’m remembering correctly- is currently filming for New Life Begins? I don’t know- are there any BJT fans in the chat? The drama’s producer was there and we were introduced to each other. Suddenly they asked, “Do you know Xiao Bai?” and I replied, “Which Xiao Bai?” Bai Yu? Or..?? They meant Bai Jingting. I said of course I knew OF him, but we had never formally met or done a program together or anything. The producer said, “Ah? Then how come he wanted you to sing the OST?” I said, “Oh? Really?” I don’t know if I am mis-remembering or if I didn’t hear correctly, but I thought that he was nice and if I had the chance I would ask him about it. I haven’t asked yet- I’ll just wait to see if the New Life Begins producers actually contact me. If they DO, then that means it really was a thing that happened, and I should send something in thanks.  LYN: This is only a one-sided account. I don’t know if it’s actually true or not. Let’s wait until the drama airs and if I have a song in it, then that proves that this exchange was real. I’m not sure if it was true or not, but hearing it made me happy all the same. Comment: He (BJT) likes shoes. LYN: He like shoes? What’s that go to do with me?? >.> LYN: I’ve worked with him before- I sang an OST for him. (Octogenarian and the 90s) I know I haven’t been in this circle for very long but met mostly everyone and worked with a few. It’s just a matter of time before we become friends. I’ll take it slow.

Comment: What are you eating? LYN: I already said, garlic. :p

LYN: I see a lot of you typing “剑魂” (Soul of the Sword)- who sings it? Is it WSL’s? He and DZW sang it on Our Song, right? Let’s hear it. LYN: Alright! I’ll learn it when I have the time and sing it for you sometime. Because- I’m just guessing- there’s probably not going to be a track available online. The copyright is too well preserved.  Comment: Acapella. LYN: Oh, Second Aunt. You’re here? Comment: How long does it take you to learn a song?  LYN: It depends on the song. With English songs I’m on the slow side. I can learn a song in one night, about 4-5 hours, because I have to look up all the vocabulary. Chinese songs will take me a few listens and I pretty much know it. This isn’t an accurate estimation, though. It’s practiced. People would request songs all the time and I would learn it and sing it for them the next day. When I was working in the bar and a customer asked for a song, sometimes I would have to ask them to give me time to learn it first. If they came a second time I would sing for them. 

Comment: Ning-ge, these days I’ve been at home in quarantine. LYN: That’s fine. If you have nothing important to do, just stay at home. I know a lot of you are probably at home with nothing to do, that’s why I came here to stream, isn’t it?? Why do you think I’m trying so hard. I know that you can’t go out, so I’m keeping you company.  LYN: There’s a sound director in the crew- a really nice gege- when he gets to the scene he always tells me, “Xiao Ning. My girlfriend’s in Beijing and can’t go out so she watches your streams every day.” I told him I wasn’t streaming EVERY DAY, is she also watching someone else? XD I suggested maybe she was watching the playbacks too? and he said “Probably, because she said she watches EVERY DAY.” 

Comment: My roommate asked me if you have nothing better to do than to stream all the time? LYN: Get your roommate’s face over here. Get their face here and tell them this to their face, “What do you know??” LYN: LOL, no. Don’t do that. I was joking. You don’t need to fight with your roommate. That’s unwarranted.  Comment: My roommate said you sang out of tune. LYN: EXCUSE ME??? You can insult me by saying I have no work and I’m not popular, but you can’t slander my profession. That's too much. Turn the other roommate’s face towards the camera; for THIS roommate you can grab them by their hair.

~ we are now experiencing technical difficulties (again) ~ (3 min, bc he knows how to fix it this time) LYN: It’s not the internet- there’s something wrong with my equipment. I think my computer is about the break, it’s about time I got a new one. Comment: Didn’t you just change it? LYN: That’s what I’m saying! Electronics- eventually all trash metal. I didn’t change my computer, but I did recently change the audio interface. There seems to be some problems with it- It was quite expensive, too. I wanted to give you all a better listening experience so I switched out my cheaper one, but it seems like the more expensive one isn’t even that stable. How shitty. Comment: Raffle it. LYN: That’s not worth it. // LYN: Maybe I’ve stayed streaming for too many nights. I’ll turn it off next time- because right now it’s on 24/7. 

Comment: You’re trending. LYN: Really? Thank you~ You always go into the topic and leave comments, so thanks a lot. You all can stand me but apparently my audio interface can’t.  Comment: Can you turn it off and on again? LYN: It’s charged using the USB; things like this usually aren’t very stable to begin with. It might do it again in the future, but that’s okay. Don’t find it out of the ordinary. You just need to wait for me to fix it really quickly. Comment: What brand is it? LYN: It’s a RME Babyface Pro.

Comment: Can you invite Yang Zi into your stream? LYN: Do you think I’m running a “Hello, Saturday” program here? I can invite whoever I want to? I can’t. Are we called “Hello, Sunday”?- If they’re “Hello, Saturday” we’ll be “Goodbye, Sunday.” But no- I can’t invite her. If we have the opportunity to work together in the future then maybe there’s a chance.  Comment: Connect with Jing Tian. LYN: She’s busy shooting her drama. You know- some people, some anti-fans really think I’m a person who likes clout. I’m someone who is really uneasy/embarrassed to ask things of people. I’ve released so many songs and not once have I ever actively asked my friends to promote them for me. Really. I don’t really like to bother/make trouble for others. So there’s no way I can use people for clout. LYN: Other people respect me and are giving me face, so that’s why they’ll come to my stream to play, like YZ and ZXD. I’m thankful that they even want to COME. Who am I to ASK/DEMAND of people to feature in my stream? 

Comment: You’re trending at #13. LYN: Really?

Comment: Connect with HZT and play a game together. LYN: It’s true that HZT and I are friends, and we’re close enough that he won’t judge me for revealing what he’s up to, but if I talk about anyone else they’re going to blame me. Please do not go up to him and ask him what game he’s playing. Then you’re selling me out. I’m telling you secretly some of his news and if you turn around and ask HIM about it, I won’t dare to tell you anything ever again. 

Comment: I came in because of the trending topic. LYN: Thank you and welcome! I know a lot of people in this industry watches my streams, and I’m honored and happy. I know a lot of companies are using me as a model and tell their artists to stream like me when they have the time. A lot of brands, companies, some producers and directors could be watching my stream and I just want to say- If you really are watching right now, please refer some work to me. Ok? If we work together once we’re friends. Won’t you feel honored to be friends with a lives tream host? XD LYN: A lot of people may be watching my stream for the first time and have never seen me before- here in my stream I pay special attention to the credit-price ratio. I sing a lot of OSTs. The price for me to sing one is about equal to the average market value... or even cheaper. But here I like to offer after-services. For example I recently released “The Book of Life” from the airing drama China Special Forces. /starts promoting the drama/ Comment: My dad’s already watching it. LYN: Thank you, Uncle.

Comment: When are YOUR dramas airing? LYN: Didn’t I already say? /as an aside/ I’m not only a singer, but also an actor! I’ve currently got four dramas awaiting to be aired, even though I’m mostly supporting characters... :) LYN: I’ve heard it’ll air in May. Heroes is a drama I took very seriously, because I got to sing two OSTs- one with ZSX and another one is my character song. After I finished recording I listened to it and wasn’t very satisfied; so I recorded the song again. I totally re-did my own character song. Comment: If you took this one seriously then that means you didn’t take the other three seriously? LYN: Are you here to dig traps for me? You want me buried, is that it? It’s not that I didn’t take them seriously, but those other three didn’t also give me an OST- if they did I would take them a lot more seriously. XD [t/n: pretty sure this is a joke.] Comment: Which three? LYN: First off is Heroes- I think I mention this almost every stream. This is the longest drama for me in terms of how many scenes I have. I usually take the second or third male lead role and those usually only get 100-200 scenes. For Heroes I’ve shot 360+ scenes, before editing. The second is Zi Chuan, and next is ALZ. Another is one I’m currently filming for Floating World.

Comment: Trending at #11. LYN: Really? Do you think I have a chance of entering the Top 10? If I do then that means I’m going viral! Comment: You can be #1. LYN: I know I can’t achieve that. With me it’s good things are trending but bad things get #1.

LYN: Someone must not know me very well. They said, “My friend your accent is too heavy. Learn Standard Mandarin.” XD LYN: You must be new here. I’m from Lianing, Dandong. I never left until after I was 28. But you must not know me very well- the thing is when I stream I use my hometown dialect to I can relax. I actually DO know Standard Mandarin. I can speak it.  LYN: Up next, let me look up some poems so I can recite them for you. You can judge whether my Mandarin is up to par or not. How about this- I know a few of you are graduate students now, could you recommend me some graduate-level poems? I remember the poems from elementary school, now I want to know what type of poems graduate students study. Let me know! Comment: Graduate students don’t study poems. LYN: ? Is that so? No one studies culture/humanities? - /finds some poems to recite, but SIMPLER ones (bc the ones they’re recommending are too hard for him XD)/ - /puts on appropriate music/ LYN: Hey! That person who said my Mandarin wasn’t good hasn’t left yet, right? Don’t leave. i’ll give you a surprise. - /reciting; get’s stuck on a character he doesn’t know, recites it as “I don’t know this character” XDD/ LYN: Alright, let’s save some of my dignity. - /finds a more “modern” poem to recite/ LYN: See, friends? Not only do we pursue entertainment in my streams, we also added another element. It brings the intellect of the stream right up. Other people talk about useless things; we’re here discussing poems and culture now.  LYN: I’ll recite this one the very best I can. I want to make that person who was ridiculing me fall straight into this pit. They’re going to start liking me after this. They��ll fall for me in just a moment. - /changes the bgm appropriately/ - /hits another character he doesn’t know how to sayyyyy/ LYN: I can’t keep reciting. If I do I’ll expose myself. Comment: If you keep reciting we’re all going to leave the fandom. LYN: It’s not worth doing THAT. I just wanted to prove that I do know how to speak Standard Mandarin- I normally speak it when I’m working, too. I can’t be the “World’s Greatest Swordsman” and open my mouth to a Dongbei dialect. It’s probably fine, but then it’ll be too easy for me to break character.

Comment: Someone left the stream. LYN: It’s alright if they left, as long as you’re still here. It doesn’t matter if THEY left or not- the fact that you’re still here is both my honor and our fate. They can leave because the regret is on them. 

Comment: I love cheesy streams. LYN: WHAT NONSENSE?!? How come other people can stream and it’ll be a “celebrity stream” but when it gets to me it’s a “cheesy stream”?? How am I cheesy??  LYN: If I don’t get any more brand collaborations because of your comment- my friends, remember this person’s ID- if I can’t get any jobs in the future, I’m going to find your house! LYN: Now, to prove that I have a very fashionable stream, I’ll sing you a “fashionable” song. (Drunken Butterfly) LYN: Wasn’t that very fashionable? Though it depends on your age- my mom really loves this song, so... in my heart this song is fashionable. LYN: The last time I sang this style a lot of people said it really suited me, even my studio. They even asked me if they should start looking for songs in that direction, and maybe one of them can end up a really hot song of 2022. I thought about it and I think I really AM suited for them. Because I’m from Dongbei and I might already have that type of disposition.  LYN: But I played this song and you all know it, which means that you usually listen to this type of music anyway. So don’t call music cheesy or not cheesy. It all depends on your preference. LYN: But since you think I’m so cheesy, type in a song you think is awesome into the chat. I want to know. Let’s see how awesome you are!  Comment: LYN’s music is the best. LYN: Let’s not. I hope my fans can control yourselves, because I’m currently of the trending list. Some people may click in to see, and if ALL they see is fans praising their idol they’re going to be really bored. I need to capture their hearts. If they come in right  now and find out that the stream is full of fans cursing their idol- NO! I DIDN’T MEAN IT THAT WAY!! I just don’t want the atmosphere to be overly pandering, but just a normal interaction between friends. If people see that I think it’ll be a really fresh experience for them.

Comment: Can you switch to a blue-tooth earphones? LYN: Why- are you seeing this string in front and your OCD is acting up? People don’t like to see this string in front AND it’s twisted. Here, let me fix it for you. LYN: I won’t switch. I have in-ears somewhere... where are they? If people think the string is annoying I’ll wear my in-ears for my next stream. I’ll look for them. To give them a great customer service experience. 

-- bathroom break -- (LYN: What? YOU’RE HAVING A BABY?!?) - /brings his in-ears but can’t get them on right at the last minutes so forgets about them/

Comment: Was it a boy or a girl? LYN: Does that have anything to do with you? Are you going to give them a gift? LYN: It was twins- one boy and one girl. Very nice. Comment: people say the baby will grow up to look like the first person they see. LYN: How could you believe that?? That’s complete nonsense. Let’s say I really went- and then the kid grows up looking more and more like me. How am I supposed to explain that to my friend?? How can I explain in a way that they’ll understand- tell me. Comment: Verify it with a drop of blood. LYN: Have you watched too many guzhuang dramas? Let’s stop this topic of conversation right here.

Comment: Are you HZT? LYN: ??? LOL LYN: /in a poor imitation of HZT/ Are you sick?! LYN: Am I HZT... I’m your god!

Comment: I want to hear “Looking Up At the Clear Sky” LYN: You can listen to it tomorrow. It’s the ending theme song of China Special Forces. I’ll sing it for you next time.

LYN: Friends- there are things you can’t expect me to talk about in much detail. I see you typing it all out but the thing is the police can’t catch you, but they CAN catch me. Please don’t start anything in my stream. Through just a few people they can contact my manager, my studio, my group members and ask them, “What does LYN mean by this?”

Comment: Change the bgm. LYN: What do you mean?? You can’t stand LYN’s songs anymore? If I were playing anyone else’s song, you could ask me to change it. But this is MY song!

Comment: Do you watch Deyunshe? LYN: Yeah, I really like Guo-laoshi. I grew up with my grandparents, and they wouldn’t let me watch tv because they thought it would affect my studies. They were wrong, because with or without the tv my grades were still just average. But since I couldn’t watch tv, I would listen to the radio. My granddad liked to listen to the storytelling so I would listen with him. Now that I’m older I still kept this habit. 

- 盗墓笔记·十年人间 (DMBJ theme song made for the 817 Daomi Festival; LYN: I’ve heard of this song, but I don’t know how to sing it - 讲真的; LYN: /stares straight into the camera/ - 走马; LYN: This is good! I don’t think I’ve sung this in a long while.

Comment: Your marketability is saved. LYN: Did I do anything to affect my marketability today? Besides those two failed poems? >.>

Comment: What about copyright? LYN: If there are singers who want to cover someone else’s song, what they do is find the composer and ask if their songs can be covered. If they can, then they find the company and pay royalties. Normally if you want to cover a song the platform will be the point of contact, like QQ music will go and contact for you. But normally when I’m streaming I don’t need to pay royalties or anything- it’s just that if you’re trying to use it for commercial use then you would need to pay. But normally if we’re just playing music at home and the neighbor hears it, it’s not like I have to pay royalties. As long as your not using it for commercial use- like at a concert or a re-releasing it. 

LYN: I think I heard that Who Rules the World is airing soon? Right? I sang an OST for it! It’s very good. I think it’s one of my my favorites out of all the OSTs I’ve sung lately. I know you’ll like it too. I really like it myself. It’s really my style. Once you hear it you’ll say, “Oh yeah, this is LYN’s style.” Comment: Let’s hear some. LYN: It’s not even airing and the song’s not out yet, and you want me to sing some??  Comment: Is it the opening, interlude, or ending theme? LYN: Is that important? I know a lot of singers care about whether they’re singing the opening or ending, and fans will make fun of others because of this. For example one person’s idol sings the opening, and another person’s idol sings the ending. They’ll think that the person who got the opening song will have a bigger cut than the person who sings the ending song. I’m telling you- there’s really no need- we all get paid the same. Another thing is opening or ending theme songs... everyone skips over them. Like for The Book of Life- normally everyone who watches this drama only know the last two lines. People skip it, so it doesn’t matter. LYN: The best thing is to sing an interlude. If the fight was about opening/ending before, now it’s all about the interludes. Because you can’t skip them- if you do you’ll miss something important. That’s the best song. Nowadays people in this business- and by “people” I mean this circle of friends who sing OSTs- we aren’t concerned with how much we’re getting paid, at least I’m not. Some companies will message you directly asking for price first. But normally they’ll send the demo, a description of the drama, the actors, and other such details including what style of song it is and what position it holds, and ask you if you would like to accept it or not. Sometimes if you know you’ll be singing an opening/ending you can also ask if it will be included as an interlude within the drama as well. We don’t care about the opening/ending- we just want to know if there’s a chance it can be played WITHIN the drama too.  - [the position of the song doesn’t matter, singers just want it to be HEARD.[

LYN: I wore these yellow glasses, and I had a red pair earlier. Someone told me to wear a green pair if I was so capable. Did you know if I add yellow + red it’ll make green? Comment: red+blue is green LYN: Isn’t red + blue = purple? Oh, right. Red + Yellow = Orange. But this isn’t completely red, it’s more on the orange side itself.

Comment: I’m watching for my roommate. LYN: ? Can you watch streams and dramas FOR someone else? ?___? 

Comment: Is Heroes coming? LYN: I already told you it’s in May! But whether it can really air or not we’ll have to see. Because the drama has to go through censorship at least a couple of times. If it passes the first censor, it should pass the second as there are usually no more problems. But it just needs some time. Mid-May, give or take. 

Comment: It’s alright Ning-ge, I’ll consider having you as my actor. LYN: Don’t tell me you’re CONSIDERING me. Finish thinking and come to a conclusion first, and THEN come tell me.  Comment: What type of movie do you want to act in? LYN: Are we starting to speak our dreams? “If I had the chance, what would I do?” I want to act in a horror movie because I think I look like a ghost. LYN: I want to act in Lotus Lamp 2 because someone said I looked like the Celestial Dog. Comment: You’re still holding that grudge? LYN: I’ll hold it for life. LYN: I think if I ever act in movies that’s a different story entirely. Don’t forget- I’m a singer! We were just talking about OSTs, did you forget? It doesn’t matter about opening/interlude/ending- the payment is the same! I’m a new actor and have only just stepped foot into this industry. Let me tell you something- no matter where/how you work, unless you have supreme job security, everyone depends on your connections. If you want to survive in society you’ll have to keep interacting with people. I’m new, so I don’t know that many people yet. Maybe in another few years I’ll be able to get to know a couple movie directors and they can help me out. This is the truth. I’ll just go slow. The more time passes and the more people get to know you, they’ll start thinking of you for things and maybe even ask you to cameo. If I’m lucky they’ll give me a second-lead role- they’re not going to give me the main lead right off the bat.  LYN: A lot of people say I have good resources- I don’t. When I first debuted people thought I had someone backing me- I just got lucky, is all. I have good fans who always support me and I’ve met good people who are nice to me. If I had resources I wouldn’t have acted as 7 or 8 second leads as of now.  Comment: Ning-ge, in 20 years you’ll be the main lead. LYN: Are you cheering me on or??? I’ll be a main lead in 20 years... what do you mean by this?? In twenty years I can act as the male lead’s father. That’s fine.   Comment: Weren’t you the one who wanted second lead roles? LYN: Yes, it’s true. There were lead roles that came to find me, but at the time I didn’t find one that was suitable and I didn’t think I was good enough. I’m not as young as everyone else- if they act in a drama and it flops, they still have time to make up for it but I don’t. I just don’t want to take the wrong step- not that it’s WRONG, but I can’t make frivolous decisions. I think I need to plan every step. When I believe I have the ability, I’ll accept a male lead role. The condition is that I know I’m good enough. LYN: Ning-ge’s advantage isn’t that he knows he’s good enough- it’s that he knows he’s NOT good enough. I just want to work on the things I’m good at while I can and slowly make up for or learn the things I’m not good at.  Comment: It’s okay, Ning-ge. You can play the male lead’s father. LYN: I don’t want to act as someone’s DAD!  Comment: Then the mother. LYN: Don’t joke. Let’s not joke about gender. You can think of me as a man or woman but just don’t speak this nonsense in front of my face. I really dislike it when people make me out as a woman. I’m purely a man from Dongbei- I grew up with my grandparents- I have a really straight way of thinking. Other people might accept it, but I think it’s gross.  - [t/n: this is a.. sticky topic of conversation; please forgive me if I do not translate/explain it well] Comment: Ning-ge, that’s sexism. LYN: You’re playing THIS game with me??? This person’s even my hardcore fan. Now we’ve upgraded straight to gender conformity. Who dares to talk about this topic- not me. I’m not sexist- I just don’t like it when people think of me- a man- as a woman. I’m not sexist against women. Stop trying to drag me into this pit. If I knew how to discuss gender roles I’d have gone to participate in a dating program.  LYN: Everyone has their own experiences in love and the person who has to face them is yourself. Other people can’t understand what you’ve been through and you don’t need to explain to them. Everyone has their own experiences and ways of thinking. No matter what you say, someone is going to contradict you.  \\ LYN: Are you trying to END me? Why are we starting such heavy topics of conversation- let’s keep it nice and light. I’ll toast you! With this, let’s move on! Everything’s in the water now. 

LYN: We were all put on this world, so I think it’s better to do something meaningful with your life. Something happy. Something kind, if you can help it. If you can’t do something kind then at the least I hope you don’t do anything bad. What goes around comes around. I believe in reaping what you sow. 

Comment: Ning-ge, where are your eyebrows? LYN: ?_? I used a machine to pluck them. It’s the kind you can pluck wherever you want and I was bored so I plucked them gone. Comment: Recommend it. LYN: Why are you asking me?! There are experts in every field- this is like asking a cook how to change your car oil.  - talks about another beauty(?) blogger for a bit bc Ning-ge watched it in passing, to see what type of face mask suits his skin :p; he generally doesn’t watch anyone else’s streams because if he had the time to do that he’d rather be here streaming in his own channel instead

Comment: Do you have a secondary account? LYN: You mean on weibo? I don’t. If I want to see something I’ll use one of my staff’s accounts. I’m afraid I’ll accidentally hit “like” or something.  Comment: What about Liu Xialai (for Detective Plan)? LYN: I didn’t make that one. LYN: We’re all young people- when we’re busy with work we’re busy, but there’s always a break time. What am I going to do in that time? Read a book? That’s fine, but I rarely see the artists around me do that. They’re usually just scrolling through their phone, looking at current events and such. We see everything you do. Comment: /I/ read books. LYN: Right. I need to learn from you. 

Comment: People say we can get the real facts from you. LYN: I’m not, really. I still can’t say anything about other artists- I can only talk about myself. There’s a limit to how much I can say about my own works, too. Again- every production has it’s own timeline, and this industry is really cruel. They could want you one day and not want you the next. Every drama crew has it’s most ideal cast, and they producers go down the line contacting actors to see who will accept their drama. LYN: So you’ll find that there are rumors a drama has gone through a bunch of different people for one of its characters, because it’s true. They really have gone through all those people. Some people also agree to be in a drama, but later don’t end up going. There’s always the chance that the person we’re thinking is going to end up with a role doesn’t. LYN: There’s no use in coming here to ask about gossip, I don’t really know. I can ask for you! But I can’t tell you anything. Comment: Use your eyes to tell us. LYN: How can I? Do you want me to write the words with my eyes? /rolls his eyes around his head like he’s writing the strokes/

Comment: What’s Chaoyue-meimei’s next drama? LYN: LOL. I thought of something I want to tell you but I can’t right now. I’ll tell you next time.  LYN: I saw something the other day- for which drama I forget- but they said who’s the male lead, the female lead, and it said YCY was second female lead. The thing said Zhang Weijian was in it too. I really like him. I sent the article to YCY and asked her if she was in it. She said, “I didn’t hear anything about it.” Alright. I understand.  Comment: You also read the gossip. LYN: I also see these things! And if I see that my friends are in a drama then I’m happy for them. I ask them about it, and if it’s true then I’m happy for them. 

Comment: You’ve already eaten a head of garlic. LYN: Someone was saying I didn’t have anything better to do than to stream all day. I’m venting my frustration (by eating garlic). XD LYN: It’s a grapefruit. 

Comment: Ning-ge, I want to be part of your fanclub. LYN: We have a membership, go contact them. I won’t do it for you. Coming here and asking me is like going through the back-door. You can’t, my fan-club is very strict. You have to go through the proper procedures. 

Comment: When will you be in another guzhuang? LYN: I don’t know. If there is one that wants me, then we’ll see. We’re just the ones chosen in this industry. No matter how amazing you are, you’re still the ones being chosen. To BE chosen means you might have more choices. The higher up you go the more choices you have. That’s all. Comment: So will you be in modern dramas? LYN: Not for now- rather there aren’t many suitable choices that come to find me. I just want to shoot guzhuang dramas first and get the hang of it before I move on to modern dramas. I don’t want to have my hands in too many baskets and not be able to do well in either. If I have the chance I’ll do a modern drama, just to see what it’s like. 

Comment: Do we have to sign a contract to get into your fan-club? LYN: No? Do we need to go through legal processes too??

Comment: Ning-ge, people say your legs are too fake. LYN: What? You think they’ve been extended with steel pipes? If you have kids, let me tell you the secret to making them tall- I’ve used my 30 years of experience to prove this theory. Do you want to know??  Comment: Stretching. LYN: Oh, have I told you this before? I wanted to charge you $5 for the secret.  Comment: Stop tricking me. LYN: No, really. I worked this out myself- it might not have any scientific evidence, but I think it works. When I was going to school I was pretty handsome- no, I wasn’t. I was bullied by my schoolmates. They would tease me, and I couldn’t fight back because it’s not like I could WIN. Since I couldn’t beat them I thought I should go learn martial arts- so I did. That happened to be the period of time where I was growing- I was stretching my legs every day.  Comment: My daughter learns dance, why isn’t she tall? LYN: I’m talking about stretching, not strength conditioning. If the ligaments are flexible enough, it won’t hinder the growth of the bones. But if your ligaments are fixed then it will restrain the growth of your bones. If you learn strength-based exercises, then you’ll grow muscles- this will also constrict and hinder the growth of bone. So I think people can go learn flexibility, and they’ll grow taller. This is true. From my experience, that is. LYN: My family isn’t very tall. My dad is 175 and my mom is 162. I’m 189. Some friends may be thinking- perhaps I am adopted? No- we did paternity/maternity tests. Comment: I’m 16 is there still time? LYN: Yeah, 16-18 is the best time. Stretch your legs before you go to sleep, for like 10-20 minutes. You’ll find that in the next two or three years you’ll have grown a lot. Trust me. You’ll come back to thank me. // You can believe me or not, if you don’t that’s your loss. LYN: I’m sorry to anyone who is over 30- you can use this technique for your children.  Comment: I’m 40, do I still have a chance? LYN: You’re already 40, what do you want to grow taller for? You want to be a celebrity?? A singer? An actor? If you’re 40 then you should settle and have a nice family and a nice life and a nice job. Just stable enough that you can live out the rest of your days. What do you want to be taller at 40 years old for?? 

Comment: Is there a method to being shorter? LYN: Are you making fun of me? I’ve met people who want to be taller, but no one who wants to be shorter. Is there a method? Sure. Slouch. If you become hunchbacked then you’re shorter, right?

Comment: Show us how you stretch your legs. LYN: I know I’ve taught you to, but I never stretch myself. Why? I’m afraid to grow even taller. This is the truth. When I was 26/27 I wanted to work out and gain some flexibility but I was afraid to stretch because I was already too tall. I’m already this tall. I’m afraid of growing even 1 cm taller. LYN: I may not stretch anymore but I still have the ability! I can lift my legs really high, still. Comment: I’m going to look up how tall you are. LYN: I’ve told you I’m 189cm. You must be a new fan- I even made a post with a video measuring how tall I was- 188.5cm, barefoot. LYN: People who’ve met me in person, they all know how tall I am. Comment: Is it normal for a 13 year old to be 170cm? LYN: I don’t know, go ask a doctor! Since when did I become the expert in height?

Comment: Are you working out? LYN: I have been, lately. But I’m too shy- you know how when other artists or celebrities show off their figures every now and then? I think that’s... not the greatest. :| What’s there to show? ...But I mean if I had it, I would flaunt it, too. The problem is I don’t.  LYN: I don’t have a great physique- sometimes I think of maybe posting a workout video. Like a vlog- even if I don’t take off my clothes I’ll show you how strong my arms are or the shape of my abs through my clothes. But I really can’t. If I take off my clothes you’ll think that I was starved for three years. It’s just bones. - tells a story of how he wanted to buy some weights online, but the lowest weight for men is 5kg. he bought them, because he has no experience, but found out he couldn’t lift them with the workout exercises. so he bought some lighter ones, at 2.5kg- but they’re advertised for women. -__-; LYN: All of a sudden I didn’t want to buy them. I felt insulted. I need them- because if I start light then I can build up the muscles and endurance to use the 5kg ones, but I felt like I was being made fun of. I still bought them, in the end.  - grabs them to show everyone Comment: I thought they would be pink. LYN: I’ll slap you!! I was forced to buy these!! >.< Comment: Stop with the weights, just use a water bottle. LYN: When I graduate out of needing these 2.5kg ones I’ll raffle them off- to all my female fans out there. XD To prevent me from regressing back to needing them, I'll raffle them off.

Comment: Can you wish me a happy birthday? LYN: I don’t like how you’re spamming the chat, so- happy birthday. The fact that you’re watching my stream on your birthday must mean that I am an important part of your life and it also means you must not have any friends. Think about why that is. LYN: Of course, I don’t have many friends myself. Let us not belittle the other.

Comment: Ning-ge have you considered doing a musical? LYN: I think I can try it, but not a very professional one. One actually came to find me, but I really don’t have the time. Firstly, you have to do rehearsals and secondly, you have to hold performances. If there are 20 performances in a year, at the least they’ll expect you to be there for 4 of them. But I really don’t have the time, because all my time has been signed out. It’s a regret. I’ll see if next year or the year after- if I have the opportunity I want to try.

Comment: Who’s “Bai-laoshi”? LYN: You must not have been here earlier. Everyone already took turns guessing a round. Comment: Who’s Bai Choufei? LYN: Bai Choufei is a character I act as in a drama that’s coming out soon. It was my honor to act as him. You can check it out. 

Comment: Ning-ge, when I see you I get emo. LYN: What’s there to get emo about? Let me tell you- when there’s something on your mind, the best way to take care of it is to not think about it. Do something that makes you happy, that takes your mind off it. Later, you’ll find you’ve forgotten what was making you so upset. Then you won’t be emo anymore. LYN: You have to adjust yourself. When I first debuted- and even now- I was under so much pressure- people were cursing me, criticizing me, yelling at me. I know they were also under pressure- maybe if they criticized me a little their pressure would disappear. You just have to take it in. But when I first debuted I was just a sunny and naive boy. I had never met the world. When I was being yelled at, every day before bed I would cry. After my sheets were all wet with my tears, then I would sleep. The term “emo” didn’t exist back then. I would say... “I’m sad.” Comment: Do you still cry now? LYN: Do I still cry now...? Does that have anything to do with you?  LYN: I’ll toast you. It’s all in the wine. LYN: What’s there to cry about. I think that period of my life is already over. I’ve already debuted for three years now and that’s all in the past. I think my future definitely won’t be as difficult as before. Comment: You’re more thick-skinned now. LYN: People are just like this. It’s not that I wanted to become thick-skinned. I also wanted to stay kind and naive. I wanted to come into the world to watch how the flowers bloomed. How the water flows. The mountains and the rivers... Enjoy nature. That’s what I wanted, but nothing ever goes the way you want. When you keep facing these difficulties you’re inevitable going to become stronger. I didn’t want to be like this; I also want to blush when you call me handsome. Comment: Weren’t you always like this? LYN: No- it’s a sort of helplessness. I wish I could be thin-skinned. Then I could curse at you when you curse me. If people are saying shit about me I could talk back. I’ll curse them without abandon. But I can’t. I can only become more thick-skinned and accept everything you say about me.  Comment: Some people like to be cursed at. LYN: Don’t expose your interests in my stream.

Comment: It’s hard to be a public figure. LYN: What’s hard about it? It’s not hard- it’s a happy thing. You’re making so much money, what can you complain about?? When I sang in the bar, I only got 60RMB a night. What’s hard about it? There’s nothing hard about being a celebrity.  Comment: That means to say you’re making a lot of money now? :) LYN: /sigh/ What’s it to you? LYN: I count as someone who’s had a hard life before. Some people could have been born into the best of environments, never had troubles, and had a smooth school-society transition. A lot of people have never had a hard time entering the entertainment business. But the reason I can understand you or my fans is because I’ve lived a hard life- probably much harder than any of you. I’ve experienced things that some of you probably never will. I don’t want to complain; what I mean is I’ve had a bitter life, but it’s a lot better now. I don’t want to talk about how hard of a life I’ve had, I just want to say that when I think about those days I really cherish today. I cherish everything I am able to have now. LYN: Sometimes some work will come in, and I don’t really want to do it. But when that happens I ask myself, “If today was the first day of my debut, would I bend over backwards to get this job?” I’d have to get on my knees to thank whoever gave me this job. I’ll feel like this. I can’t say that just because I have stepped up a little in life I can forget where I came from and how I got here. LYN: One of my friends told me I act very humble in my streams but I’m actually really prideful on the inside. I said, “Of course.” In this industry, you can’t make it if you don’t have something you are proud of yourself for, or some source of self-confidence. But you still have to know your manners. My source of pride comes from “小人得势 (the villain has the upper hand)”- no, wait. How did I come up with such a terrible sounding expression? I just think I’m very lucky to be where I am today.  LYN: There are opportunities. Not every ordinary person is fixed to live an ordinary life. I just don’t want you to accept fate. Comment: I don’t have any talents. LYN: If you don’t have any, make them. Not everything is sent to you on a silver platter.

Comment: You and Bai Jingting are trending. LYN: Really? On, ho. I just mentioned it briefly in my stream- now people are going to say I’m using him for clout.  Comment: Do you know each other? LYN: We don’t! He probably knows there’s a person called LYN, I’ve sung an OST for his drama before. But the two of us haven’t met. I just mentioned “Bai-laoshi” and then this topic came up- people have spread the word and now I’m going to get cursed at again.  LYN: This is really embarrassing. I just said it for fun, but I really haven’t confirmed whether it was true or not! I don’t know if I heard incorrectly or not. What if he didn’t really recommend me?? And then I’m in my stream saying he did; it’ll look like I WANT something from him, you know? I REALLY didn’t hear clearly that day- there were so many people and the background noises were too loud.  LYN: Oh, no. This is so complicated. The ways of the world is just too complicated. This is killing me, I really should watch what I say next time.

Comment: Does this music fit your mood right now? LYN: No, listening to music just makes me relax. LYN: Cheers! Elegant but not overly so. Comment: The equipment is so high-end, LYN: It’s just a wine glass, what’s “high-end” about it? This came four for 45RMB, with a free wine opener.

LYN: It’s awkward and embarrassing. I’m sorry if I brought any trouble to each (Bai) laoshi. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wanted to chat a little, my goodness. I’m sorry. Comment: Ning-ge, as long as you’re not embarrassed the one who is is other people. LYN: I don’t like making it awkward/embarrassing for other people either, though. Because if they are then I will be too.  LYN: It’s fine. Whatever. Let’s not think about it anymore. LYN: No, I’ve thought about it and- it’s fine. Suddenly it’s all clear to me. It’s all good. LYN: ... LYN: No- first of all- it’s okay. I don’t think he’s the type of person to get worked up over something like this. This is nothing to him. 

-- bathroom break -- (the neighbors are fighting, it’s serious this time) LYN: Ok, I’ve stopped the fight. I told you lat time they were actors- this time they were really fighting. They had some opposing opinions over how to execute a scene and started fighting. I stepped in and worked everything out for them. 

Comment: Ning-ge kelanyinlan (柯蓝银蓝???) (silver-blue??) LYN: What’s that? Is it a color?

LYN: My friends- how about I change my outfit? I’ll change my clothes and if anyone comes asking I’ll say that I’m sorry and that I must have misspoken in my previous stream. It didn’t happen today. I’ll go change my clothes. Let’s cover this up. Alright? Wait for me- hold on. 

~~ welcome to ning-ge’s new stream, where the “bai-laoshi situation” never happened ~~ :D

LYN: I need to change my glasses... how about I just not wear them? LYN: Excuse me, I’m sorry. I seem to have misspoken in my last stream. I just drank too much. You all saw me- I was drinking water from a wine glass and I seem to have had a bit too much. It’s a magical cup and anything you pour into it turns into wine. 

Comment: You’re so pale. LYN: Right? In my last stream I was a little tan. Why am I paler today? Because I applied some bb cream.

Comment: You look like you sell kebabs. LYN: You want two sticks?

Comment: You look like Sanmao. LYN: I’m clearly dressed as a painter. Hold on- this hat isn’t it. Let me change it. LYN: I’m a painter. An artist. 

Comment: Ning-ge, where’s your blue swimsuit? LYN: ?? You- have you seen male swim wear? I’m pretty sure it’s generally just the bottom half. If I wear a “kelanyinlan” colored swim trunks on my stream I’m sure it’ll explode. Comment: Men also have full-body suits. LYN: Are you talking about for diving? If I wear that on stream it’ll be a little miraculous, too. I can understand girls wearing yoga pants but a guy wearing a full on diving suit?? Comment: You really wore it once. LYN: Shut your mouth. Don’t make trouble. When did I ever wear swim clothes on stream? Don’t speak nonsense. Comment: If I didn’t know you, one would think you’re tempting young girls. LYN: What are you saying?? With my physique if I wore swim trunks or gym clothes it wouldn’t be that sexy. I already said I lift only 2.5kg weights. They’re advertised for women. oTL Starting from tomorrow I’m an exercise guru. Because most of my fans are women, we’ll use the same sized weight. We’ll improve together. I figure if I used anything heavier, you wouldn’t be able to keep up. I’ll buy a kelanyinlan colored swim trunks and we’ll exercise together.

LYN: It’s fine- someone mentioned I was trending again. I really didn’t mean to mention him. I just said Bai-laoshi invited me to dinner, and the whole chat was wondering who “Bai-laoshi” was. Bai Lu. Bai Yu. Bai Jingting. Since you had mentioned him I thought of something that happened that had to do with him- I really didn’t think it would get this much attention. Of course, they’re not paying attention to me, they’re paying attention to him- he’s the popular one. So I guess you could say I gained something from him this time. But it really wasn’t on purpose. I thought about it and I’ve encountered BJT’s fans before- they’re quite nice. So I think it’ll be fine. - [t/n: meaning BJT’s fans won’t start cursing LYN out for using their idol for clout] LYN: Why do I say that? Because I saw something the other day- someone said “I used to be BJT’s fan, but now I’m LYN’s.” Before they ONLY liked BJT, but now they like both BJT and me. That’s why I think his fans are cool. I don’t mean anything else by it.  LYN: I think the more I say the worse it gets... LYN: It’s all the same. Last time I promoted the song I sang for his drama and a lot of my fans turned into his. It’s all the same. There are only so many people in this industry. It’s a two-way street.

LYN: Have you ever met anyone like LYN? Let me tell you- “Liu Yuning” is a really mysterious existence. I can’t say whether he’s good or bad but he’s quite mysterious. No one’s doing it like he is. 

Comment: When are you cutting your hair, Uncle? LYN: Are you a hairstylist? You’re very disappointed with my current style? This is already super trendy- /tips his hat/ I’m an artist. If you tip the hat like this it just gives you an air of artistry.  LYN: My hair is pretty long- see the back. Maybe longer than a lot of my female viewers. But I’m shooting a drama right now that uses my own hair. Comment: You look like a vagrant. LYN: Don’t look down on people. LYN: I’m using my own hair for the drama but when it’s done I’ll get it cut. But I was thinking that before I cut it I want to dye it some color. Like maybe red or blue- and shoot a couple pictures. Because it’s long, maybe I can get it a few different colors. As for exactly what color I’ll post a poll on weibo when the time comes. Comment: Green. LYN: Green is fine. But I was thinking red. I spray-dyed my hair green before, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone red. I want to try, shoot a few pics, and then I’ll dye it back. We’ll see.  Comment: You could just buy a wig? LYN: I can. I have a few at home already. Do you want me to change my look again? I already changed once. Some people might have gone to the restroom and then come back to see I changed a person. Ning-ge must be mentally ill- he changed his clothes during the middle of a stream, how vain must he be?? 

Comment: Will you hold a concert with Penny-jie? LYN: ?_? What sort of question is this? She can hold her own concert, why would she hold one with me? Are we a group? Modern Sisters? We’re not a group- she has her own band, too. 

- someone mentions the trending topic again LYN: I am very sorry and very grateful. Let me take a look- “#BaiJingtingRecommendsLiuYuningforNewLifeBeginsOST” The content is so specific. The title of the topic is ALL of the content. It’s not like other topics, like “#OOOHairstyle” and you have to click in to see what it’s about. But this is everything, you don’t need to click in to know what it’s about. Let me see what they’re saying... - reading the comments... LYN: I saw someone cursing me. LYN: Someone wrote “Hahaha, Liu Yuning is flustered. Who told you to say it before you were sure?” :| We’re all in this together aren't we? I thought we were like best friends. I’m treating you like my good friends and telling you my secrets, and you’re over here spreading them around. Isn’t this “being killed in one shot”? LYN: It’s fine. It’s fine. I haven’t done this before... It’s okay. LYN: Let me imitate that- [t/n: live slug reaction?]

LYN: Let’s change the topic...

Comment: I took a shower and came back to find Ning-ge got more handsome. LYN: Of course~ Do you want to see something even more handsome? Come on~ I’ll go change my clothes again. XD I don’t have anything else, but a lot of clothes, because I like shopping. 

Comment: Ning-ge, did you only wash your bangs? LYN: Do you think I’m like you?? Do you think I’m so lazy I only wash and blow dry my bangs and then walk out the door? No way. 

Comment: The chat is going so fast, can you see? LYN: I saw your comment- does that prove how well I can see?

Comment: The media accounts are saying it’ll air 5/18. (Heroes) LYN: They also say- /laughs/ Forget it. LYN: I’m an actor IN it, and I don’t even know.

Comment: Ning-ge, stop drinking. LYN: Do you think I’m really drinking alcohol? I’ve drunk a few bottles of water already. Drinking water is good for you- I recommend you drink more water. Your skin will become better if you are fully hydrated. I forgot who told me but- wait, I shouldn’t say this. In any case, I rarely have (non-water) drinks anymore. I do- like Chunzen is alright (bc he has a contract w/ them rn). But most of the time I drink water.

- people asking whether certain diets/medicines are effective LYN: I can’t say whether they are or not.. Here’s the thing- there are some things that you know may not be as effective as they say but you can’t help but to keep consuming it. They just give you a psychological push. I know it’s not going to work but I’ll still do it. Just like how I know coffee can’t help THAT much with bloating but I’ll still drink it. A lot of skincare products- no, I can't say that. 

Comment: Ning-ge, are you in contact with ZSX? LYN: No. I blocked him on WeChat. We’re not in contact. Why would I contact  him? LYN: I’m joking. We don’t talk much, unless there’s something going on. We don’t really text each other every day or anything. We only talk when there’s work or something on our minds. He’s busy. Everyone has their own life and work- not everyone has the time like me, to sit here and stream. 

Comment: What’s the ideal role you’d like to play? LYN: Someone’s helping me change the subject, I see. :) What a deep question. LYN: People will ask actors what role they’d like to play to most and they will reply that they want to be a villain. I am not the same, because ever since I debuted the majority of my roles have BEEN villains. Now the role I want to play the most is the Celestial Dog. XD I want to act as an extremely classic character.  Comment: Let’s see some. LYN: What, you want me to act as the Celestial Dog right now? I know I’m an artist, but you can’t treat me like a monkey. I can act as one in a drama but you can’t make fun of me in my stream. That’s a little over the line. LYN: One time I was filming for Heroes- it was the scene where I die. Well, not die- it was my funeral pyre.  Comment: Does this count as a spoiler? LYN: No, because it’s leaked all over the internet already. LYN: When I was shooting that scene I didn’t feel anything in particular towards it. I’ve acted being shot before. I’ve spit blood and fallen before. It’s not a big thing. But that day I don’t know what happened- they chose the ONE street in Hengdian with the most tourists. The thing about Hengdian is that people will go to see the most popular spots- and those spots are usually where dramas are filming, so they can see some actors every now and then. I don’t know what the crew was thinking- they picked the MOST CROWDED street. There are two restaurants and two drink shops on each of the corners- it’s where everyone goes to take a rest. I was right in the middle of the street. I was thinking- normally in these situations don’t they find a nice forested area to hold a funeral? What did I do to deserve a funeral on the streets?  LYN: It was even raining that day! I was thinking about how it would look- would it be weird to hold a fire burial when it’s raining? Would the viewers think this looked too fake? But the director said we would proceed, so I climbed up on top of the pile and suddenly became the center of attention. Everyone had their phones out, which was fine because I was up on top and they couldn’t catch my face. But the problem was that I was in the middle of the street, and I could see all the paparazzi up on the second floors. I felt like every paparazzi in Hengdian was there that day. We probably weren’t the only crew filming on that street but they all probably saw me and decided to shoot some pics anyway. I was laying on top and closed my eyes for the scene- all I could hear is the sound of the shutters. It was like fireworks, we were celebrating the new year or something. I felt so uncomfortable.  LYN: Usually when I’m filming I won’t find anything uncomfortable, but at that moment I felt like I was being insulted. I died a cruel death and now they were giving me a fire burial and all these people are taking in my death. As an artist I can act as a dead body or whatever, but I didn’t expect it people to make it a memory. It’s been a year and I still remember clearly. Every time I’m sad/upset all I hear is the sound of camera shutters.  LYN: I was dazed. First of all- I respect every person in their respective jobs. I treat every media person with respect- that’s your job and I’ll do by job. It’s a mutual understanding. But in that moment I felt very disrespected. It’s fine though, because thus far I haven’t seen any of the footage they took online. They’re still righteous. There really weren’t just a few people- but it’s true that none of it has been leaked. I thank the paparazzi and everyone on the street that day. I want to do some damage control now as well- If you have any of that footage, please erase it from existence.  Comment: Now that you’ve said it, it’s going to show up tomorrow. LYN: I don’t think so. How many people hate me? I know everyone know what’s right and wrong. I believe they won’t, because I’m right there in Hengdian! They’re in Hengdian. I’m in Hengdian. We might now know each other but we can count as neighbors, right? We breathe the same air but can never embrace- that type of relationship. It’s not easy. I can understand them and I respect them. But there’s always a limit, you shouldn’t cross too far.  LYN: I forgot where I saw it, but that day there was something going around that read “LYN is dead.” THAT’s a little malicious. I had people report it and take it down.

Comment: The whole stream is waiting for LYN to go to sleep. LYN: Alright. I’ll sing you a lullaby. I’ll sing you a lullaby so you can go to sleep. Thank you for watching my stream. - 离开地球��面 (Leaving the Surface of the Earth), Mayday - LYN: Good night & sweet dreams~ 

Comment: When’s this drama wrapping? LYN: This current drama will wrap in the beginning of May, and then my next one won’t start until... I won’t say yet. But I'll have some time to do other work and if Heroes is airing I’ll have the time to promote it a little. It’s the perfect timing. So you’ll see a lot of me in May. 

Comment: What does it feel like to do fight scenes? LYN: It doesn’t feel like anything, it’s just tiring. What can I feel? 

LYN: A lot of artists are coming to Hengdian, because dramas are just starting up for filming. But... I’m leaving. 

LYN: Hold on- wait for me. I need to use the restroom. Then I’ll come back and chat for another half an hour, maybe. I wanted to hold it, but I can't. I drank too much water. -  LYN: Someone asked where I went and someone else replied that I went to the restroom. XD LYN: Hello, everyone. Comment: Did you wash your hands? LYN: I did.

Comment: Can you shoot for the variety show yet? LYN: Depends on the day. We just really don’t know. 

Comment: Will you have a concert this year? LYN: What are you thinking? Let’s all just obediently stay at home. No large gatherings. We just need to cooperate with each other a little. Otherwise we won’t be able to get anything done. Don’t even think about a concert. Aren’t I giving you a concert right now? AND it’s free. 

Comment: Any music variety show? LYN: There was going to be one but it didn’t work out. For variety shows I think that doing just one a year is good enough for me. I did Our Song last year, and this year is Detective Plan. It’s good enough. For variety shows I like to do something meaningful. Not to say that there’s no point to them- they’re quite fun. They can air quickly and that lets the audience not forget you. LYN: But usually I will go to shoot them if I have extra time from the drama. The drama comes first. 

Comment: Are those figures behind you all yours? LYN: I borrowed them. I borrowed them from my friend and I’ll have to give them back to him later.

LYN: I think as a singer, being able to act and having people accept me for doing so is already gain enough. So I think being able to sing and act is fulfilling. I don’t want to push my luck. A lot of singers don’t even have the chance to act, but I do and people even hope to see more from me, so that makes me happy. So if I’m going to act, I want to do it well (not not distract himself with other work).  LYN: I saw a ranking of singers, and I was on there. Someone said, “Is Liu Yuning a singer, isn’t he an actor?” That made me happy, because the year I first debuted and even now, people will see clips of me and criticize me for just being a viral internet famous guy who only knows how to do covers. I used two years of my time to release an album and hold a concert. And now, I’m starting to act and I see people saying, “Is Liu Yuning acting? Isn’t he a singer? What’s a singer doing acting? He can do everything, and doesn’t respect any industry.” I know that comment was meant to bring me down but I was happy. Because through 2-3 years of hard work I finally made you admit I was a singer. I know they were criticizing me, but it made me happy.  LYN: There are two sides to every coin. It all depends on how you look at it.

Comment: Ning-ge, when you record a song do you do it all in one take? LYN: What do you mean? Do you think I record half of a song first and then go back for the other half later? No- I record the song in one outing to the studio. LYN: I’ll split a song up into each word and spend a year recording it. One word at a time. That’s too detailed. It’ll kill me. 

Comment: Wine glass? Are you drinking wine? LYN: No, you must have come here late. I’ve had it this whole time. This cup really makes you drink a lot of water, though. 

Comment: How many tries does it take to finish recording a song? LYN: That’s a secret, I can’t tell you.  LYN: It takes a few hours, how many takes do you think? The longest song nowadays is only five minutes. Usually songs are between 3-4 minutes. If I’m in the recording booth for 4-5 HOURS, how many times do you think I’ve had to sing the song? You think I can go in there and sing it once, and be done in 3-4 minutes? I’ll spend the rest of the time drinking tea? I’ll make the recording manager sit there with me for hours? That’s abduction. LYN: No, recording a song takes place over multiple tries. I’ve met people with odd habits when recording. Everyone has their own thing. I’ve met someone who drank before recording. The first thing he does in the studio is start drinking. He asks that all the lights in the studio be turned off, too- stop typing people’s names. I can neither confirm or deny it’s the person you are mentioning. If you keep doing that, I won’t be able to finish my story. LYN: I’m different though, I don’t have a good tolerance. If you make me drink before recording it’s over. Some people will find they can get into the right emotional state better if they drink before recording. Like Li Bai, right? He always writes poems after drinking. XD Some laoshi’s are really amazing, and they say they’ll only sing the song once and leave right after they’re done. They don’t care if there’s any part you’re not satisfied with, they’re going to leave after singing once.  Comment: A romantic singer.  LYN: Not really? Just because I DON’T drink before singing, does that mean I’m not a romantic singer?

Comment: Ning-ge, what do I do if I keep going off-tune while singing? LYN: What can you do? Stop singing. LYN: If you like singing, keep on doing it. Don’t care about whether you’re off-tune or not. Or maybe you can try rapping? That might be easier. It’s harder for me, though. 

Comment: Ning-ge, what’s your recording room habit? LYN: I can’t tell you. My habit is- no, I can’t tell you.  LYN: My habit is NOT drinking before recording. If I do I’m likely to throw up in the middle of the song. All over the very expensive microphone. >.<

Comment: You’re very popular today. LYN: No, it was because of Bai Jingting. If I get the chance I really want to get to know him. It’ll be my honor. 

Comment: Is there any singer you want to work with? LYN: Yeah. HZT. My only wish in life is to work with HZT on music. LYN: You must not be my fan- we’ve worked together before! I’ve worked with HZT, and once with DZW. Neither of the songs were very popular. LOL. It’s my fault. My OWN songs aren’t popular, how could I expect collab songs to be? The fault is on me.  Comment: Work with Da-laoshi again. LYN: When I have the chance. I really find it embarrassing to ask that of them. I think they’re out of my league. Why? Because before I debuted I was already listening to their songs. I was COVERING their songs. To me all of these artists are so far from me.  LYN: But now that I’m here, we’re all friends. 

LYN: If you’re sleepy, go wash and sleep. It’s about time for me, too.

 LYN: People are asking me when I can work with certain artists. Actually, it’s difficult for two people to get together. A lot of successful singers don’t NEED to work with anyone else. It’s good enough that they’re on good terms with each other. If two artists do work together it’s not going to be for profit, it’s going to be for fun. It’s not that easy to collaborate. It’s complicated too- the contracts and copyrights. So that’s why collaborations are rare. They’re just a little troublesome. 

Comment: When’s the second album? LYN: I’ve been working on it. I’ve been collecting songs, but I haven’t got all of them yet. I’m a little picky now. No, it’s not that. I hope that a lot of my fans and people who like to hear me sing can understand, I haven’t finished picking all the songs yet. Because I’m a little picky- and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I want to make an album to express myself- but who am I? I don’t even know. That’s the first thing. The second thing is the OSTs. For the style of song I like, I’ve mostly already sung them in the form of OSTs. Now when I receive a demo I think one of two things: 1. It doesn’t sound as good as OSTs I’ve sung or 2. It’s TOO MUCH like an OST, why do I have to put it in my album? I can sing this type of song at any time, why should I put it into my album?? LYN: It’s complicated. If I sing a song that’s like an OST, why do I need to put it into my album? If I put it on my album I have to pay for it. If I sing it as an OST, I can even make money. LYN: That’s why it’s so hard for me to choose songs. I do have some, though. Penny-jie wrote me one. She wrote two- and said I could take one, both, or neither. They’re both good but one of the songs, if she doesn’t use, I want to use for my NEXT album. I’m going to Beijing to work on it. Another one, WSL promised me and I haven’t settled that with him yet. I’ll have to ask him about it. If it’s too expensive, I don’t want it. XD His songs are expensive. Not to say that Penny-jie is cheap!  LYN: I’d like to work with DZW, of course. We weren’t able to work together on Our Song.. but there’ll always be a chance. I just feel like everyone is out of my league- that’s the truth. I’m not trying to sell myself short. In terms of rankings, I... I’ve debuted a little late. I may be around the same age as them, but in terms of how many years they’ve debuted for vs how many I’ve debuted for, I’m too young. 

Comment: Will you film a vlog when you cut your hair? LYN: You think I own the barbershop??

LYN: Alright, that’s about it. Thank you for everyone who stayed with me tonight. I hope you have a relaxed and beautiful night. It was great to have you. I’ll stream when I have some time next. I hope you have sweet dreams. If you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so. I’m Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. It’s not shameful to follow me. Thank you. If you have the time you can check out my streams. Thank you everyone.  LYN: Good night, now. 

[novelconcepts]

omg can you do a print of damie in canon just interacting with flora bc i would love that

She’s lost Flora. 

There is, Dani thinks with the forced calm of one already beginning to spiral, little cause to panic. The house is big, but it’s not that big--and Flora is a good kid. She’s not exactly prone to just wandering off. She certainly wouldn’t, say, vanish from sight and reappear somewhere unexpected, suddenly acting like she didn’t entirely remember the time in between.

That doesn’t sound like Flora at all.

She isn’t running, per se, from room to room. Running would suggest there is a problem to be handled, and if she starts thinking along those lines--if she starts obsessing about Flora’s distinctly off-putting way of gazing over her shoulder, of saying things just a little too odd to be hand-waved away, of looking at Dani as though she can see straight through her to the unease thrumming under the surface--well. That way lies nothing useful. Nothing at all.

“Have you seen Flora?” The kitchen had seemed a good bet. Here, after all, is Owen, puttering away over the ingredients for the evening’s meal, his mood somber as he uses the manor to avoid reflecting on his mother’s upcoming funeral. Here is Hannah, dutifully rearranging the china, pretending not to steal glances at Owen’s lanky frame every few seconds. That spot at the table is made for Flora, little legs hanging off the chair, brimming with questions--

But Flora isn’t there, and Owen is shaking his head. 

“Not since lunch. Lost her, have you?”

No, she almost snaps. A count of three, a long-held breath; she smiles tightly, reminding herself that this is not Owen’s fault, nor Owen’s job. The children will be your responsibility alone, after all. 

“She’s quick,” she says instead. Hannah purses her lips.

“Perhaps upstairs with Miles?”

She isn’t. Miles, bent over a book with a solemn expression, blinks up at her as though she’s dragged him by the shirt collar out of the actual wardrobe to Narnia. 

“She asked me to color--what time is it?”

“Two,” Dani says, sparing the briefest glance for her watch. He shrugs. 

“An hour ago, I think? I told her to ask Hannah.” A flash of concern crosses his face, a too-adult creasing of brow. “Was that wrong? I just wanted to finish my book--”

“It’s fine,” Dani assures him, ruffling his hair. Too-adult, his expression may be, but this is the most kid she’s seen Miles in days. The last thing she wants is to dissuade him from reading, or from the loose sprawl of his posture. 

An hour, though. In the days since coming to Bly, Dani can’t remember twenty minutes passing without Flora turning up underfoot. 

Outside, she thinks with another swell of barely-restrained panic. She’s outside. By the lake, probably, where Flora can so often be found keeping company with dolls and talismans and snatches of ethereal song. 

It isn’t exactly a reassuring thought, particularly with summer rain sluicing down the windows, scattering over the roof like pellets. A storm, it isn’t, but an eight-year-old girl has no business wandering in weather like this. 

You'd have loved it, at her age, Dani reminds herself. There’s nothing at all wrong with a little girl puddle-jumping for the sheer joy of it. Flora probably got bored, cooped up with a bunch of busy adults and her brother uninterested in playing games. She’s fine. She’s almost certainly fine.

An umbrella is waiting beside the door, still damp from Owen’s trip in before breakfast. Dani takes a breath, pops it open, steels herself for the brisk wind. 

The grounds are gray, the puddles turning the grass to a squelchy mess beneath her shoes. She keeps her head up, her eyes carefully turned away from the puddles which sit like recklessly-dropped mirrors at every turn; if she so much as glances down and spots a flash of glasses, she’s not sure she’ll be able to keep her composure. 

Flora is not by the lake, as it turns out. Nor the statue gardens. Nor the rose bushes. Flora is nowhere, she’s starting to think, and her mind is finally turning toward the worst--toward the depth of that lake, how easily a small girl might slip off the embankment and tumble headlong into its hungry waves without notice--when she remembers the greenhouse.

Jamie will help. The thought rises without warning, a solid patch of sunlight at the center of the storm. Jamie will help--because Jamie knows every corner of these grounds as well as her own hands. Jamie, who maybe doesn’t know Dani all that well, but didn’t seem to mind offering gentle reassurance, exchanging unexpectedly deep conversation on the couch...or Dani taking her hand in the dark. Jamie, who had said, Who the hell knew? Jamie, who had worn an expression a little like awe.

They haven’t had time to talk about it since, but even so. Even so, for Flora, Jamie is sure to--

She hesitates at the door, fist raised to knock. It feels foolish, rapping on the entry to a greenhouse like it’s Jamie’s own bedroom--but this is, she reasons, as close to Jamie’s home as she’s ever likely to get. 

“Jamie, are you...”

“Here,” her voice comes from somewhere just out of sight. Dani takes a cautious step in out of the rain, jostling the umbrella and pulling it hastily shut. Best not to invite bad luck--she’s certainly already had her share. 

“I’m looking for Flora,” she calls, feeling a bit silly. There’s so much going on in this room--plants and tables, pots and a variety of outdoor furniture draped with old blankets. Normally, Jamie is easy to spot amid the riot of greens and pinks, her hands busy coaxing seedlings to life. Today, Dani feels as though she’s tripped and fallen into a game of hide and seek. 

“Don’t have to look far,” Jamie’s voice comes again--from behind the sofa, Dani thinks. “C’mere.”

“Miss Clayton!” Flora pipes up, and Dani feels the tension leave her body in a violent rush. Her hand grips the nearest table for support, her eyes closing in relief. “Come color with us”

“Come--sorry?” She can’t have heard right. Jamie? Jamie the gardener, putting aside work and temper to waste an afternoon on crayons?

Yes--yes, that appears to be exactly what Jamie is doing. Sprawled on her stomach, still dressed in her coveralls, she’s got a blue crayon in hand and a green one tucked behind her ear. She glances up as Dani steps nearer, a smile lighting her face. 

“Kid came stumbling in out of the rain an hour ago. Expect she didn’t think to warn you in advance?”

“Sorry.” Flora offers a sheepish smile, sitting up quickly. “Are you very cross?”

“No, of course not.” Just going to need a minute to purge the image of finding you facedown in the goddamned lake, is all. “Next time, though, you’ll have to tell me you’re leaving the house alone. I need to know where you are at all times, Flora.”

She expects Jamie to scoff at this--to say, Ah, she was with me, she’s fine. Instead, Jamie stretches over to land a sharp flick on Flora’s upper arm. 

“Rude to make Poppins worry. Look, she’s gone all pink.” She looks up at Dani, grinning. “Not a bad look, if we’re in the market for honesty.”

Dani suspects pink is the lightest shade she can manage, with Jamie gazing at her that way. It’s too easy, all of a sudden, to remember an unexpectedly soft hand under her own fingers, Jamie turning reflexively at the wrist to hold her back. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” Flora says, a phrase Dani is starting to think is more Flora than even perfectly splendid. “Here--I was just about to do one of you!”

Jamie gestures with the blue crayon, a silent suggestion for Dani to sit beside her. “Might as well. Rain doesn’t look like it’s letting up anytime soon.” She lowers her voice, eyes fixed on Flora’s determined rummage through the crayon box. “Sorry about that, Poppins. Know she’s been unpredictable lately, didn’t like the idea of her stumping around in the cold. If I’d known you were worried--”

“It’s all right.” In truth, she’s glad Flora made her way out here. Growing more pleased by the moment with this development, really, as Jamie slides a blank sheet of paper in front of her and presses a purple crayon into her hand. 

“Join us. We’re doing portraiture.”

“I can see that,” Dani laughs. Jamie’s handiwork speaks of a distinct lack of care for detail--each sketch on her page is, at best, a stick figure with a single defining feature. “How does Owen hold up his head, carrying a mustache the size of his torso?”

“With minimal decorum,” Jamie says, grinning. “And she’s right, it’s your turn.”

Dani suspects she’s going less pink, more a volatile shade of maroon, with both parties squinting at her face, their papers, her face again. Flora is doing her very best work, taking several minutes just to select the closest shades of blue, yellow, pink. Jamie makes an enormous production of holding up a crayon, closing one eye, gauging proportions--and then, cheerfully, scrawling a figure identical to the other four already on the page. 

“I’m taller than Hannah?” Dani asks, unable to resist a giggle. Jamie frowns.

“Ah, you’re...standin’ on a crate.” She adds a box beneath Dani’s non-existent feet with a flourish, nodding. “There. It’s symbolic.”

“Of what?”

“I’ve ranked you all on how much I like you. Takin’ into account, of course, certain accusations pointed my way regarding mud and shiny floorboards.” Jamie winks. Dani finds herself gripping her crayon almost hard enough to hurt. 

“You’re not drawing, Miss Clayton!” Flora observes. Dani glances away from Jamie’s smile--a difficult act only a few days ago, nearly impossible now--and clears her throat. 

“Well. Maybe just until the rain stops.”

There are, she thinks as a comfortable quiet settles over the greenhouse, infinitely worse ways to spend her afternoon. 

[jaeyooniverse]

Hello from your fantasy friend! How are you doing?

I like to write about a lot of things, but one of the main themes that comes up really often in my writing is friendship and found family (I think loving that trope so much is part of what draws me to kpop, there are so many kpop groups where the members treat each other like family). I have kind of a mix of original fiction and fanfic - I prefer to write AUs when I do fanfic though because I like to do worldbuilding and come up with backstory and stuff 😁

Kpop does seem to have an extra element of "connection" to the artist, I've definitely noticed that - it's similar to boy bands like One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer or even the Beatles, though I think with the influence of the internet, the amount that it's possible for groups to interact with fans has increased a lot (being able to open up a VLive and chat and have people around the world able to tune in is wild, if you think about it) and I guess entertainment companies realize that you get a lot more money if fans are emotionally invested on levels besides just the music. It does seem like kpop artists do a lot more extra stuff (variety shows, etc)... I feel like there are probably more factors that I don't know about but I'd be interested to learn more!

Ah yeah I feel you on the awkwardness thing 😂 for me I think I would most like to hang out with Youngbin, Zuho, and Taeyang (I would love to hang out with any of the members honestly but I think those are my top 3)

For favorite friendships/pairs... I think I still need to learn more about them before I can say anything definitive, but some of the moments I've seen with Inseong & Dawon and Chani & Youngbin have been really great so I'm gonna go with those! And I think it would be really cool to have a track with Rowoon, Taeyang, Jaeyoon, and Zuho - their voices are all so cool and I'd love to hear more of them! Dawon and Taeyang together would also be awesome ☺️

I'm in PST, but my sleep schedule is um... not the best 😅 so if you see me sending asks at 3 in the morning yes I'm awake and I shouldn't be 😔

The member in the emoji game example is Zuho, right? I read that he has a corn allergy, which really stuck in my memory because I also can't eat corn (it gives me horrible stomachaches)! Also, speaking of emojis: do you know why the SF9 members have the representative emojis they do? Some of them make sense to me, but for others I can't think of why they would choose those ones (like Inseong's, Youngbin's, Dawon's, and Hwiyoung's). Is there an explanation of them anywhere?

hi fantasy friend!! 🥰❤❤ how are you? did you sleep well?

oh that sounds so nice! i used to write more when i was younger but it seems i don't have the patience or creativity for it these days 😅

friendship and found family are always nice to read about, i do think found family is one of the best tropes out there 😆 and omg yeah a lot of kpop groups are like a little found family 🥺🥺 im a sucker for it 😂😂

when i think about it i suppose it could also apply to other celebrities as well, what with gossip columns and tabloids and stuff like that. they are celebrities bc people are interested in them and inevitably some are interested in them more personally as well. and yeah i think the internet definitely plays a big part in all of it. now you have access to your faves with just the click of a button and you get updates from them just as easily as it is to chat with your friends it's cool but also you can see how people take it for granted and start feeling entitled to getting frequent updates and interactions with their faves. (not that im totally innocent, if dawon doesn't post for a week i lose my mind skgsksh)

i think another thing that influences it is that there is always new stuff going on so in order to make sure fans don't drift or get caught up in other things, they have to make sure there's a connection that keeps them loyal (and also why they have to put out so much content constantly.)

companies are all about money so im not surprised they've capitalized off the connections people make. I definitely feel like it's more evident in kpop (but again I've only really only stanned kpop so maybe it's evident other places as well) like the whole creating a fandom name and celebrating days together and whatnot,, there's probably more but im kinda just rambling at this point so i will stop there 😂

is there anything specifically you'd want to do with them? i really want to go out to eat with them 😂😂

omg that would be such a good subunit 🤩 rowoon taeyang and jaeyoons voices would go together sooo well and i love how zuhos able to produce tracks that really suit the members' styles. i think whatever they make would be a masterpiece 😍

lol aww do you have school/work or are you on break? hopefully you'll can fix up your sleep schedule soon but if it's not ruining your day dont feel too bad about it 😂 and I can't say anything abt people being up when they're not supposed to be my schedule isn't the best either 😅

yes the member is zuho! that fact stuck with me bc i LOVE corn 😅😅 and also the whole ordeal where they were promoting a good product that had corn in it :')

ooh i remember most of them but here's a tweet that kinda explains it:

i also think hwiyoungs can mean "maknae on top" but yeah idk 🤷🏾‍♀️

[autisticlalna]

bruuuuh, the lore ball got rolling and the devs rolled with it, that is the Coolest Thing. they sound like such a creative team!!

ahhhh!!! MaX looks up to NaN!!! that is so good! it's the three-letter name w the front and back capitalized solidarity!! /j but ahhhhhhh, that's legitimately so wonderful that MaX has a role model xe can go to and look up to and try to model xemself after, like :o xes got somewhere to turn when xe is figuring out xer identity crisis! good for xem! and xe can also be manager of elsewhere waffle house! identity progress!

oh yea!! u could also go into mc then and pose and take a screenshot, that could give u some more camera control. lil bit more of a production tho haha. u stream!!! :o what is palanauts! if i may ask!

bro the mods are so coooool!! i like that new ones just appear in game and everyone just has to go "?????? what does it Do????" that sounds so chaotic and fun, esp from a lore perspective where players presumably also dont know what mods do fdgsdh

ffhdhfss!!!! im getting all adjacently emotional abt microphone!!!! was child who then became god who is just doing his best!!!! he deserves, like. whatever microphones get to calm down. a cleaning and some v pleasant audio to record. and a friend, probably. microphone needs to have a big bold dramatic return where he saves the day and punts the coin or smth. big boss battle is just a mic drop onto a quarter and then everybody celebrates

the necromancied player is jaylen, yes? does that mean the wyatts can echo from benched players, too? cause if so, that would. that would def be dangerous. esp w all the receivers bouncing the mods around too, just everybody in the league starts gaining debt. capitalism strikes again :( /j

The Game Band (the devs) are honestly so cool, they really help blaseball be this like, very unique thing? there was an event uhhh earlier this month i think? where their twitch channel got ““hijacked”“ by the garages band so they could stream a live set and it was awesome, like its That level of working with the community to create something

SHJXKF YEAH we did p much start capitalizing it as MaX entirely bc of the similarities with NaN’s name getting pointed out. xe’s also nicknamed Tens! which doesnt get used as much in the fandom but its cute. also WMX. MaX has like, a bunch of nicknames in-canon yeah!!!! like NaN’s roadtrip was a journey of self-discovery and now MaX is in a similar place of feeling lost and wanting to know who xe is, and xe’s got the Garages backing xem up but also has NaN who knows and understands xer situation and !!!!!!!!!! ALSO IVY MaX, NaN, and Ivy being friends is v v v important to me. theyre all sweethearts FUN FACT, MAX GOT SENT ELSEWHERE BC XE MANAGED TO ECHO IT FROM AN ELSEWHERE’D PLAYER SOMEHOW??? WHICH MEANT XE ALSO DRAGGED NAN & THE OTHER RECEIVERS ELSEWHERE WITH XEM LMAO NaN’s just vibin in the dugout and then suddenly is in a waffle house with six dogs and a very alarmed punk

Palanauts is a variety stream / let’s play channel that’s me and a couple of good friends! and also sometimes my roommate. our streaming schedule has been kinda all over the place this year so far but we do a bunch of stuff including minecraft! it’s very chaotic and basically just us screwing around all the time. here’s the mc vod playlist! im Leonaut and i am here to cause problems on purpose

YEAH THE WAY MODS ARE IMPLEMENTED IS AWESOME but also sometimes very funny bc theyll have a temp description until they first proc sometimes and some of them are. Well. i cant find the screenshot rn but there was a bit where the Yellowstone Magic got a team-wide modificiation that was just “0 No: Players with 0 No are good.” and i think about it a lot. thats peak blaseball energy but then there’s mods like Echo where the description is literally just:

and so we’re all just sitting here like HUH???? and then the VERY FIRST GAME MaX played in was Feedback weather and literally xe goes up to bat and INSTANTLY starts echoing and everyone loses their goddamn minds because WHAT JUST HAPPENED?? WHAT????? (also i love that MaX got the mod Maximalist from the election this season. like, out of all the Garages it could’ve rolled, it picked MaX. to get Maximalist.) there’s a lot of us just like, figuring stuff out as it goes? like, figuring out new weather types, figuring out new modifications, theres not really a release patch notes with each addition so its entirely a group learning experience and its super engaging for me. i was like, basically for the Garages i was the one keeping track of all the Wyatts and how Echo worked and figuring out how the weather affected everything bc i was locked tf on and piecing everything together and it was SO FUN but also VERY NERVEWRACKING once they started canceling out

THE MICROPHONE IS THE BEST BLASEBALL CHARACTER DONT @ ME i care about him SO MUCH like. all the Wyatts are very near and dear to me overall. my blaseball sona is a Receiver lmao we’re gonna plug the Microphone back in somehow and get the Monitor to unionize

Jaylen doesn’t have Debt anymore but we have a different necromancied player now bc of voting going awry :,D Chorby Soul got resurrected solely because their soulscream is at Maximum Value and now theyre on the Garages. we’re probably going to try and bench them asap. the good news is Chorby is a pitcher and our pitching rotation is horrifically large so they wont be playing a lot of games! the bad news is it doesnt matter if a pitcher is actually pitching the game for MaX to echo them. but once they get benched it should all be fine fghlkxhkfd

oh yeah also before she fucked off the Coin was ominous about teams gaining Credit and then we started getting attacked by sharks SO. YEAH,

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

inspirations: comfort zone | a producer!ash exploration playlist, pt. 1 [spotify]

a playlist exploring ash’s style as a composer and producer through songs that have either influenced his style or that match his personal style well.

i. the party & the after party - the weeknd (prod. jeremy rose, the weeknd, rainer millar blancheur)

ash’s comfort zone these days when it comes to composing and producing music is variations on r&b, most notably pbr&b or alternative r&b, and this song fits that and also has a variety of other influences that are comfortably in ash’s wheelhouse: trap, neo soul, and even some retro influences i can see ash playing with. the use of sampling is also very much within ash’s personal style and how i feel he would chose to/chooses to incorporate samples. while this song isn’t one that ash specifically has found inspiration in, he does like the weeknd’s musical style in general, even if his lyrics are extremely hit and miss in vibing with ash.

ii. easily - bruno major (prod. emily elbert, bruno major)

this is a good example of a more stripped back take on ash’s production. when ash goes a more stripped down, acoustic route, he’s partial to the use of guitar and a simple percussion line via drumset. out of all of the songs on this playlist, this might be the absolute most comfortable production sound for ash since it ties back to elements of his production style beginning as early as his first solo album.

iii. best part - daniel caesar ft. h.e.r. (prod. matthew burnett, jordan evans)

similarly to above, this is a very classic ash sound, but perhaps with some more recent production elements of his mixed in. the use of harmonies and vocal layering throughout this song, both daniel caesar with h.e.r. and daniel caesar with himself, are the most prominent example of a more current production integration into his style. this would also fit very well on a playlist about ash’s lyrical comfort zone, but this isn’t the playlist for that.

iv. ocean eyes - billie eilish (prod. finneas o’connell)

this is here as another example of the harmonies and vocal layering ash is fond of like i discussed above. the extended synth notes/chords are also very ash and i consider ash to have a tendency toward dream-like production these days, in large part due to the aforementioned element he’s currently so fond of, which this song matches well. billie eilish is also an artist with the kind of voice that ash would be very excited to work with.

v. fucked my way up to the top - lana del rey (prod. dan auerbach)

lyrically, this is far off base from anything ash would ever write, but musically, it’s a good representation of the sound he’s really interested in creating in his head. he has a lot of songs in this vein of style and sound back in his files that he isn’t confident in his own ability to pull off and hasn’t found the right performer for, so it may not be a sound he releases a lot, but the mix of sensual, sad, and dreamy is pretty on the nose for what ash’s signature style would be if he put more care into defining one. the only element that isn’t as likely to show up in ash’s music is where the vocals sit in the mix of the song. like billie eilish, lana del rey also has the kind of voice ash is musically inspired by.

vi. can’t you see me? - tomorrow x together (prod. “hitman” bang, s*pr*m*e b**, melanie joy fontana, michel “lindgren” schulz, eric zayne, nza tokio)

i can see ash suggesting a sound like this if bc were to come to him wanting him to work on a title track for knight. he understands that for knight’s sound, he has to make compromises between his preferred style and knight’s sound. this song is kind of a mix of knight’s sound (ex. “obsession”) and the sound ash will/would write for knight (ex. “dr. bebe”, “runaway”). in a perfect world, he’d whip out “crown” here and be happy with it, but that’s honestly not in his comfort zone for his own production or knight’s concepts. the level of emo in the lyrics is also very ash, but as this is about composition and production, i won’t get into that here.

vii. save me, save you - wjsn (prod. full8loom, artiffect)

the only song has has produced for a girl group (”drip”) is pretty far off from what this is, but if ash had more independent control over the sound, i see him making something like this. it’s probably the furthest off from the general throughline of his comfort zone here since there aren’t many r&b influences, but it has a similar use of harmonies as some of the above songs and is an amplified version of the way ash has played with dreaminess in some of his songs. as an idol himself, when it would come to producing for other idols groups, ash would be most interested in creating a sound that doesn’t fit neatly in one strict conceptual box like “cute”, “girl crush”, or “sexy”, and would rather go for something more authentic as a song and a story than something based around a concept.

[fmddaisukearchive]

⎪ SELF PARA⎪

Setting: Suite on ship 

Date: December 31st, 2020

Summary: After the final concert of the tour, and his last performance of 2020, Daisuke takes some time to sit down and write out his New Year’s resolutions. 

Word Count: 1,023

Daisuke didn’t loiter around with the other idols after the concert had ended, something that wasn’t completely unusual for him. Whenever a company wide, or larger, concert ended, he quickly made his escape before he could be snatched away by a manager, staff member or even a friend. Post concert time was something he used to slowly bring himself down, to ease off of the adrenaline of performing. After performing a few or several songs, he found it exhausting to be forced to converse with someone, even more exhausting than actually performing. It drained him of what little energy he had left over. He was just glad that his group members and people close to him seemed to realize that over the years and gave him the space that he required to recover from a concert. 

The room was empty once he got back, which didn’t surprise him all that much. Knowing Joosung, he probably got caught up chatting with one of his friends, which he didn’t really mind. He could use the time alone to shower and unwind before he was forced to go to the New Year’s Eve celebration that was happening later on in the evening. He had a feeling that his boyfriend would want to attend, and of course he would go along with it - anything to make the older male happy. 

After showering and changing into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, he lounged across his bed, his eyes closed as he took deep breaths; a watered down version of meditation that had he grown accustomed to doing after difficult days. While he relaxed, he allowed his thoughts to wander, which led to him thinking about what was inevitably looming just hours ahead - the new year. 2020 had been quite an eventful year for him. He’d debuted and gotten his first win, had a comeback, became the ambassador for Save The Children, ran his own radio show, was apart of the cast of a variety show, and became an MC. And despite all that, he still felt like he hadn’t accomplished much. There was still so much he wanted to do, so much that he couldn’t even mentally sort through it all.

Which is how he found himself seated at the table by one of the port windows, the notebook that he usually used for writing lyrics and such open in front of him. He tapped his pen against the table a few times, before he started writing. 

New Year’s Resolutions.. 

He couldn’t help but feel a little silly and childish writing it out. He’d written a list like that once when he was a young kid, a list of resolutions and promises he had made to himself that he didn’t keep. However he was an adult, twenty-two years old. He had developed a lot of self control and discipline over the years, especially after becoming an idol, so he was sure he could stick to the list he was writing. 

Number One; Release something in Japanese 

This was something that he was determined to do, mainly because he knew that he had a big fanbase in Japan. Not only was Charm very successful and popular in his native country, being the only Japanese member in the group gave him a big up back home. He knew that there were a lot of CHARMings who begged and pleaded for BC Entertainment to allow Daisuke to release music in his native language, and he didn’t want to let those fans down. 

Number Two; Learn how to produce and compose music 

His solo debut and his solo mini album had his writing credits all over it, but he didn’t have any production or composition credits. He knew that he didn’t have to produce and compose his own music, that BC Entertainment had talented producers and songwriters for that, but he couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t pushing himself to his full potential. Plus, no one could hear inside his own mind. No matter how much he tried to describe how a song sounded in his head, no one would be able to create or replicate it like he could. 

Number Three: Visit family more often - no matter what 

Daisuke missed his family dearly. He never realized that being separated from them would hurt so much, but it did. He was happy being an idol, but he wanted to spend more time with his family. He hadn’t seen them in several months, not since their last concert in Japan. It did make him a little bitter because a lot of his group members and close friends could practically see their parents whenever they wanted because of closer proximities. BC never let him go to Japan to see them, and his parents and siblings were workers in the business world, so they couldn’t very well skip work to see him. In 2021, he was going to see them more often, no matter what. He didn’t care what he would have to do. 

Number Four: Try to put yourself out there

Probably the most important resolution on his list. He knew that people found it difficult to be around him sometimes because of how reticent he could come across as, and it wasn’t on purpose. It was just how he was, and it put a strain on social interactions and his friendships. He knew that he was a nice person, people didn’t really have anything negative to say about him apart from the fact that they don’t know much about him because of how reserved he is. He wanted to change that and have people see his good qualities and attributes, and not just what’s surface level. 

The sound of the door opening and closing caused him to close his notebook, putting on a small smile as he turned around to face Sung just in time for the older male to place himself on his lap. “Hm, hi,” Daisuke murmured, resting his face on Sung’s shoulder. For the time being his list moved to the back of his mind while he focused on the boy on his lap. 

[ndscottsummers]

[cracks knuckles] okay folks here’s some thoughts on doug ramsey setting out to create a language for mutantkind, mostly ignoring what canon has to say about the matter. i am not a linguist so take what i say here with several grains of salt, but i am a conlanger so, yeah, take what i say here with several grains of salt.

doug seems like someone who probably started conlanging before his mutation manifested and then threw himself into it even more enthusiastically once he started exercising those super-pattern-detection muscles, so i’m assuming he knows what he’s about. no need to worry about him understanding the basics of the craft, we can move on to other things. (also, side note, holy shit i want to see his portfolio. i bet it’s mind-blowing.)

doug also has two huge advantages over anyone else who has ever tried to make a conlang usable in day-to-day life by people from a wide variety of linguistic backgrounds: he has that cool mutation that means he probably has a good grasp on a ridiculous number of communication systems, and there are telepaths around who can download the language from his mind and upload it into other people’s.

there are two major goals for this language:

it should be easily usable by the largest percentage of mutants possible

it should be difficult to interpret for anyone who hasn’t had it uploaded into their brain

(we’d want a signed language as well as a spoken language; i’m not familiar enough with the mechanics of signed languages as a class to know how separate those two would be or if they would be essentially the same language with different mediums of communication. the points i’m going to make should apply to any configuration with appropriate adjustments for the medium; my examples are going to be spoken language-focused bc that’s what i know.)

i don’t really know how the whole telepathic fluency thing works, so here are some assumptions: it may make sound production easier but it won’t bring you up to a native speaker’s level re: phonology, it will give you the rough equivalent of natural fluency in all other areas, and it works as well for writing and reading as it does for speaking and listening.

first things first, we want the phonology to be simple. we want to hit phonemes that appear in lots of different languages families across the globe and we want to avoid sounds that are relatively rare. sorry, huge mass of english vowels! we just want a couple. maybe four. five if we’re feeling adventurous. also say goodbye to /θ/ (the first sound of ‘think’) - that’s a rare one, globally! and, to take the focus away from english, no pharyngeals or clicks either.

we also want to avoid weird consonant clusters that might trip people up, so you know what, let’s just say that the only possible syllable structures are V and CV. no vowel clusters, either; that V syllable can be tacked onto the beginning of a word but nowhere else. if my experience is anything to go by you’re not going to be able to tear diphthongs away from the anglophones but it’s okay for there to be differing accents; we just want everyone to be able to produce + understand the language without much difficulty, and telepathy can smooth over some of the bumps.

so that’s phonology out of the way, and now we’re getting to the good stuff: morphology and syntax. telepathy means we can go absolutely WILD with this. phonology has a lot to do with muscle memory and actual physical ability to move one’s tongue and throat in certain ways, but the rest of grammar is all in the mind and as long as a telepath can put it in your head you are good to go.

sadly i don’t know that i have the experience or linguistic knowledge to propose good ideas here, but you know doug has been sitting on some sweet shit. he’s got a handle on some really obscure grammatical features, he can pull details from language isolates and extinct languages and alien languages holy shit you guys the game is won* and he can make them play nicely together. we want phonology to be simple but we want everything else to be complicated in order to stymie attempts at outside interpretation, and if we can go overboard without damaging people’s abilities to use the language then full steam ahead! (there are going to be some limitations, probably, but still; we can have fun.)

if you can drop a writing system into someone’s head then i’d want to say go logographic, but that does have a muscle memory aspect to it and also poor doug would have to figure out all of those logographs, so maybe not. an alphabet is boring and if you’re doing a 1:1 sound:letter correspondence then it’s not adding much to keeping the language secret; same with an abugida. a featural system would be a step up until part of it is cracked, at which point the dominoes start to fall. canon hoxpox already has a thing going with a combination alphabet/logography which is cool, but i think we’d be better off with a combination syllabary/logography. we’re already doing mostly CV syllables and throwing some logographs in would confuse the situation enough that the number of symbols needed to understand the language would, i think, fall nicely into the ‘learnable but difficult to figure out without a guide’ category.

if we want to go really off-script the language can be highly idiomatic as well; i’m thinking trigedasleng from the 100, which iirc evolved from an english-based code rather than mainstream english. then even if they do figure out your writing system and also somehow figure out translations for individual words, they can’t necessary interpret what it is you’re actually saying. that may or may not be more difficult to get across via telepathy, but if you went too far with it you would end up with longggg average utterances.

anyway those are my opinions on how doug would approach this project! i really, really want to see what he would make of this, wow.

*how many features of the average alien language would be comprehensible to the human mind on a level that would allow even telepathy to bridge fluency gaps? i don’t know but doug** is going to find out

**can doug even do alien languages bc of like, basic cognitive differences? he’s done them in canon but does that make sense? send in your theories

[galvanoliver1994]

Neptune Grape Plant For Sale Startling Tricks

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Planting Grape Vines Nz

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Burmese Grape Plant

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[kkukkung]

Your tag on the wonho pic with the cushions was bad even for you and you tagged 'soft' after that I can't believe it

im a soft stan.. uwu

HUge ask compilation under the cut yikes omg

twitter*com / arya940115 / status / 850724933906735104 WATCH THIS BUNNY!

[link] i can’t believe i have anons that call me “bunny” jkfsdghg this is?? matty’s impact. and I KNOW hyungwon rly died? it’s so interesting how wonho is so soft but he can also… kill a man… this is so h*t

sncksndnxinsjdcjcdknckksnsnxnkzndidh ive been on ur blog for an hr and a half now just reajdng ur tags and i jsut jdjdnkdjsjdk wrow what a long ass ride n also i cant believe u have a mh furry tag i thogit i was the only ome kskdnndksd

do u ever see someone and u can just… picture them in a fursuit…. that’s lmh…. anyway im sorry u wasted….. so much of ur precious time on my blog omg but thank u…….. also…. what’s ur minhyuk furry tag 👀👀👀 gotta flesh out my collection

u kno blogs that are marked nsfw dont show up in tags 👀 (hdhdfh thats probably not why ur posts dont show up but lol)

hgfjkfjfsh bye…. i know other blogs have this problem too and i think it might have smth to do w spam and whatnot, like not every post the fy blogs post show up either so it’s just… some tumblr thing i reckon? honestly i don’t think i’m that……….. nsfw am i………… 

I aspired to b as funny as your tags are

my tags……. aren’t funny dghjkdf……………. my gf left me over how unfunny i am? i have a rly shitty sense of humour i laughed sm when minhyuk said wonho used to be a human faced fish like that was so fucking funny to me but ??? no1 else…. but thank u rly

twitter(.)com(/)OfficialMonstaX(/)status(/)849589491182338049 an ot7 photo where minhyuk isnt clinging to anyone!!!!!!

incredible…. i rmbr this….. i feel a bit like… empty inside this isn’t Right u kno jfksgdh…

You @ any pic: oh cool…wonder how lmh ties into this…..

ur not wrong… but i feel attacked rn fjhsgj idk lmh is just so fascinating to me!!!

you know abt vocal analysis?? i know a tumblr mx blog who did a few and was wondering if you could read them?

i haven’t heard abt this before but i just googled it and i think i get the Gist Of It… i’m interested! link me :3c i can’t promise i will be that insightful though!

Did you get my message about changkyun’s coughing? [i did sorry answering it now!!! jsghgf]

I’m kind of worried. Since like 3 months ago, Changkyun’s been coughing. And at first I thought it was nothing but it’s persistent and doesn’t seem to be getting better or going away. Coughing usually means something with the lungs or heart and I’m worried all the coughing effects his breathin. He’s my precious Lil baby and I may worry too much. But i hope he’s had it looked at cause coughing like that all the time can mess up the lungs pretty bad if untreated

yes me too :((( i’ve noticed this too and like…. in fact half of mx has been sick for this comeback and it just… makes me feel v :(((( u know. i do think changkyun’s the type to not let something get in the way of his ambitions and he would…. try to take care of himself? i hope he’s gotten it checked out too… it’s strange bc it’s not exactly a Persistent thing, like it’s just like he needs to clear his throat sometimes and it sounds v dry? :/// idk what that means but yeah hopefully it’ll… clear up soon… :

I think it’s because I’m too soft of a stan but I really started crying when wonho cried in that video what the fuck why would the hurt me like this. Also can we agree the rapping was a lil :/ hilarious but cute. PS. WHY WAS IT SO FUVKINH WHITE WASHED WHt

i just…. couldn’t take the crying seriously sjkfdhgf i felt embarrassed bc of how cheesy it was but ummmmm im still slowly unclenching my butt from that feeling minhyuk’s falsetto gave me. and yeah lmao the rap. lmao. also anon u sound v cute n sof;;

In one of your posts about wonho you said you “weep for you child who was bullied at school and grew up broken”, what do you mean, what happened? I didn’t know about this and I’m TT

omg anon sdfjkghfskj i wrote that tag complaining abt….. my flopping gifset kjsfdhg im sorry u misinterpreted dw i’m sure wonho never went through smth like that!

Jackson and minhyuk together in that gifset is 2 much who decided to put two extremely loud needy bisexuals together

“two extremely loud needy bisexuals” GBYE…. u ever see  characterisation so accurate ur soul leaves ur body momentarily bc

What’s your opinion on the collar/neck tie not attached to the shirt thing that Wonho wore for their KBS Music Bank performance? I’m not sure how to feel about it.

personally i think it’s sexi? u could dress wonho in some bubble wrap and that would b sexi? tbh i rly like the…. sleazy rich dude costuming for this era;;;

nation’s demon child lee minhyuk… won’t somebody save our pure, productive youths from his clutches?

im dissociating fjgkjg

what are your favorite mx ships (or just like two-person dynamics/relationships) with minhyuk in them :>

showhyuk… wonhyuk… kihyuk…. hyunghyuk… joohyuk… and recently changhyuk wait fuck that’s all of th-

seriously tho… tell me if u want me to speak abt smth specific i think ive written extensively on like all of these before… just feel like minhyuk rly…. has v v v intimate relationships in general

Hey ^^“ new monbebe here~ and what exactly is no mercy? is before debut, right? And you know where we can download/watch it? tysm

jsdfhjgh u probably won’t see this anon but yes no mercy is the survival show that mx debuted from… you can watch it on 1thek’s channel. here’s the first ep and it should be pretty easy to find from there!

did you see on the radio that wonho said that he feels awkward around shownu and then the members were like that’s why they go to the gym cause they don’t talk.. shownu when he’s around wonho: :D wonho when he’s around shownu: :S

[diff anon] Recently on the radio wonho said he’s most awkward with shownu 😭💔😭 what are your thoughts? Also hyungnu talk before sleeping what do you think they talk about 👀👀👀

on showho… wonho has said b4 that shownu still feels kinda ?? apologetic towards him bc of the leader business so i feel like that is the potential strain in their relationship :/ but i doubt they’re genuinely awkward w each other like…. when ur constantly around someone for like 3+ years… i doubt any mx coupling is awkward now? but yeah it’s likely that shownu… kind-hearted son hyunwoo… feels residual weirdness abt being the leader when it was originally wonho’s role. re hyungnu PLEASE gjkfhds they’re so close they rly…………. they’ve been close since the beginning of time like hyungwon has a lil fanboy crush on shownu and shownu thinks hyungwon is beautiful and funny and they just……………… idk they must vibe together so well bc they’re both quiet + kind and they just………… seem to chill together a lot these days e.g. playing billiards !!!! aaa and um i feel like they would talk abt everything i can’t narrow it down?? probably like… discuss funny things that happened during the day and shownu tells a joke and hyungwon laughs for 5 minutes straight bc once he starts he doesn’t stop sgfhj

thsi is so stupid but u kno kihyun’s pose from beautiful where hes like,, turned away from the camera n a lil hunched over w/ his arms out i just,, just fuckin think of those grainy pics of bigfoot like i see kihyun n its like C R Y P T I D S P O T T E D

i hate this fgdjhfjk i feel like changkyun is a real cryptid btw (the part where he’s like…. sliding across???)?? anyway when will kihyun pop me via telepathy

Wonho gripping the straw of his coffee drink with his entire fist fkrkgkk why is he such a babie

feel like wonho was a lil bit spoilt/rolling in love as a kid and grew into this… manchild (not the annoying kind tho bc he’s also… v mature…) i love him sm….

Wow do u think minhyuk and kihyun are such good frens because they both love to act fake cute…..These Scorpio antics

YES!!!!! i think they’re v different kinds of fake-cute tho like, w kihyun it’s kind of…. nauseating when he does it on purpose like the way he plops down into chairs omg (gjhkfsdgk im sry) but w minhyuk it’s like he’s mastered how to b cute without being too much so that it leaks into his natural expression? but anyway when kihyun isn’t cute on purpose but is….. CUTE nonetheless… that’s when it Gets me u kno.

You aren’t the only one to notice how PD-nim cuts Wonho’s answers, and exploits his reactions. It’s not that I don’t love his precious self being exposed and tbh I gain life everytime Kiho laughs but the parts that sticks are the ones when he tries to pacify the situation. I think he steps back on variety but can show his true colors/raise his voice in NON-FORMAT programs(?) as RIGHT NOT/DEOKSPATCH/X-RAY. Plus it seems like he’s an audience type than the jokester one…

“show his true colors” jfskdhg yes on kinda.. external programs they don’t show much of him :(( and i think he’s just generally less comfortable speaking in those situations (even on radio shows he’s vvvv quiet…. and this era especially i feel like he’s been sort of Even More Quiet? but where there’s a production + filming team he’s working with that he starts to get familiar with mb he opens up more… anyway yes i agree he’s definitely someone who likes to observe what’s going on rather than directly contribute to the action in external variety/talk programs!

full offence but your tags give me life thank u

thank u?? thank U

my mom likes shownu because she thinks hes a: traditional, manly, well fit, and "expensive” looking man sunshwwjhsbe what but she looked at changkyun was like “who is this hunk” and said “he looks like the type to pay for 500$ meal” jsHWNHSJWYSHWH

(this is for when i asked who everyone’s mum’s fave member was fjkdhg) THAT’S RLY CUTE but im screaming changkyun is the furthest thing from a hunk (quote wonho: his life will b in danger if he doesn’t exercise) and he’d probably take u to his dim studio and feed u cup ramen on a date??? jkdfhgkj

I can’t believe Hyungwon gave us a hacker version of the Iconic Math lady meme on Amigo TV. I guess you could say he’s [hacker voice] ‘All In’.

THIS IS AWFUL jgsfhdjk……… i feel like hyungwon is rly transparent with his expressions like everything shows on his face?? like u can see the cogs whirring in his head when he’s thinking he’s rly so so s o pure :( lov him

damn, i.m

delete this?

“annals of time" 

i forgot when i tagged this and in relation to what but jkfdsghjksdfjkkjdfhdskjhfkghkjsfjksgh

annie ….. what hav you done to me :// i’ve began talking like .. this ?? i call my bias raw fish now :(

i hate this fjkgdshsdnjkggf ???? ? i don’t want this either !!!!!!!!!! but my internet persona? ??  cant u see im tryign,,, so hardf.,,, ,all the goddamned time…,,,,,, who is ur bias who is raw fish gfjkdhg (also i only called wonho raw chicken ONCE let me livevnsjkfdhj)

i feel like out of all the weird shit one could possibly be into .. elbow slurping isnt rly too wild like theres so Much out there tht im not mad at it. jus. just go ahead. take a fucking slorp babes

gkjdfsnbvdsjkfghksjfdghfsjkdhgkkjfahskdskjfhksjhkfsjhfkjsfhkjsfdhsjkdfjksfhdjkshfjkshfnjksvjdfnvdfjkgsdfjkndfjgndfjkgndsjkgnskdljngdjkgjkdsgkjsnd

hyungwon is my grandpa who rants @ me for 2 hours abt how his grandchildren never visit and are too loud when they do and how kids these days are always talking about wigs and their dads and then handing me a pile of Werther’s Original™ hard candies before hobbling off to take a nap

why is this so…… detailed and…. accurate…..

Hey sorry to bother you, but do you know whens it’s going to be the first MX’s award show, and where can i watch it? I’m always lost when it’s about this kind of thing e.e Anyway , have a nice day :3

IM RLY SORRY JSFGHKJSFG i hope u found it….. im sry im…. i never answer things in time but;;;;;;;; yes it was on m countdown and u can watch it on the mwave website as well as the mnet youtube channel!

I jus screamed at the phrase "made from the same fursuit” I wanna die

i literally get half my gross terminology from katie?? she made me this way

what are your thoughts on all of the different wonho ships? 👀

i want to…. nest myself in all the warm bonds wonho has formed w every member but especially wonhyuk and wonkyun i think?

the new yang nam show pix made me start thinking what do u think mx wear as jammies fr?? 🤔 besides wonho who just. Lets it free. I feel like ck would b one of those ppl who wears full jammie sets tbqh

why does this sound like matty…. they talk abt their pj preference in that one fancam i can’t find rn sjfdhg but tbh all i took from it was…… wonho……. but yes definitely i think ck would like that…. wants 2 feel Complete and Covered and Neat…

hey!! about the choreo thing, i feel that tbh. i think because so much of fandom is focused on being mad positive all the time, it feels like you can’t notice anything that isn’t 'just so’, but honestly, i do wish their choreo came out better on screen :/ another thing, and i don’t blame them for it, but it helps to keep the lines themselves clean so that no matter what it’s all good angle wise? got7 has trouble w/ that too (everyone dances their own way instead of together, yfm)

yes…………………………. i agree and i just… feel like their choreo is so much Effort but it’s not exactly flashy for all that energy they exhaust as well??? nd yeah what i said abt camera angles… this time the selling point w the jacket choreo was a good touch tho imo but it still………….. isn’t………………. what it Could Be idk i just feel like everything could be flashier and that might help them trend more dance-wise bc rn like tbh i don’t rly know what monsta x is known for? alsoooo what u said abt fandom being mad positive all the time i feel that sm like especially in this fandom… ppl rly pedestal the boys sm and sometimes… idk… overpraise their music when tbqh…. there isn’t….. that much Unique abt it…..? :0

wonhontology (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158743886921 What a coincidence?!, seems like your scorpio boy has a vore kink and a nipple fixation… #AnWonHyuk

wonhontology tumblr com /post/158743886921 In the second one, isn’t Minhyuk trying to bite Wonho’s nipple? 0.0

[link] i can’t believe i didn’t see this gsjfdhg i love my vore kink nipple biter boy??? ***** *** *** **** ** **** ***** ***???????????????

lostinmonstax (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158736187961/ tummy-flash did you see that?

[link] um fuck he’s so toned gjskhdfjksdhfk

Hi I love you

i love u 17 days late??? fdskgkjg

somtimes i have a strong urge to call minhyuk my lizard man in my tags this is ur impact annie

i can’t believe ppl r finally beginning to see lmh for who he rly is….. my lizard brethren

the beautiful mv is already to 2 million views and i am weeping… also i am really digginghoseok’s new grey/silver/no-longer-blonde hair.

u can jus.t…. tel lhow old this ask is by its contents jkgfhdsjkgs im the worst im sry but aa… thinking abt… all the hope we had…. 3 weeks ago… makes me :’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’———-))))))))))

cant believe that thigh wrestling gif cut out the part where minhyuk almost reveals his lizard self after wonho smacks his ass hard enough to make him jump a little and break thru his human disguise but tries to stay casual. wongo resistant ass

the. ass slap changed my life btw…. a lil bit of Inner Lee Minhyuk leaked out hfjkgfsdjkhg also this ask is so…………………… im scremaing at every part of it like it rly gets better w every word

hey,,,,,I love this blog,,,,, thank u

i lov u???????????/ this is a terrible lbogblglbo?

ppl have been pointing out how ur url says wonho but ur avatar says minhyuk but i cant beleaf no one has pointed out that the lil moon on ur desktop blog theme says 'rly a changkyun stan but don’t tell any1’ i’m on2 ur secrets 👀

👀👀👀👀👀

STAN SHIN HOSOCK, since he allowed Wonho’s freedom!

??? im sorry what does this mean jkfgkj

[bts-sky-blog]

Seeing Stars

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader, appearances by the one and only kim yugeyom

Summary: For some reason, being around Jungkook seems to be a hazard to your health. In fact, it all starts with a concussion.

Word count: 4.8k

 You can’t say you hate your job, but sometimes, it can be stressful. As the assistant for the head of JYP entertainment, it’s often your responsibility to retrieve a variety of odds and ends, ranging anywhere from clothing to drinks to various makeup products. Today, you’ve been given one of the longest lists of tasks you’ve ever received, and you’ve been rushing around Seoul all day to try and get everything done.

You park hastily in front of the boba shop, making sure to lock your car before rushing inside. You’re not sure why, but apparently this is GOT7′s current obsession: boba from the world renowned Gong Cha shop.

You read out your list of orders (it’s a long list because apparently Bambam wants to try every drink on the menu thanks a lot man), and sit down in the only empty seat you see, at the window bar. It’s not a big space, so you’re a pressed in between two people; on one side, a girl on her phone, and on the other, a pale man with mint green hair. Glancing around, you notice a familiar face. He’s talking to the man with green hair, and for some reason, you feel like you’ve seen him before. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to figure out where.

Then it clicks. You remember seeing him walking out of the JYP building with Yugyeom a few times, wearing seemingly the same outfit every time you saw him: ripped jeans, a black face mask, and a large white tee shirt. You had assumed he was an idol of some sort, but you never thought to ask Yugyeom about his friends(it is not, in fact, your business).

The thought of him is brushed from your mind as you realize your order is ready. You stand in a hurry to go pick it up- a little too much of a hurry, actually. Your foot catches on the chair, and you’re sent flying, landing hard on your left arm. Your head hits the floor as you go down, and stars dance in your vision.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You look up to see the same man with the large white shirt, crouching over you, afternoon sunlight spilling over the bridge of his nose and shining in his brown eyes.

“You’re friends with Yugyeom, aren’t you?” Your words are a little stilted, and you’re not entirely sure what you’re saying. “You have a nice voice…”

“She might have a concussion,” you hear another voice from further away.

“Can you get up?” He looks concerned, and you nod quickly. The movement sets your head spinning, and you close your eyes for a minute.

“Yeah, just-” you start to push yourself up, but pain shoots through your left arm before you can get far. Swearing, you drop back to the floor. “Sorry, my arm hurts.”

“What’s your name? Is there anyone I can call to come get you?”

“No, no, you don’t have to do that! I can make it, I’m fine. But I might need some help getting up.” You examine him closely. He looks a little flustered. “You’re kinda red, are you okay? You know, I’ve seen you before. With Yugyeom. Have I said that? Are you friends with him? How come you always wear the same outfit?” You tilt your head to the side at his expression. Mouth parted slightly, eyebrows creeping up. He looks a little funny, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Come on, I’ll help you get up. We should get you to the hospital.”

A little more than a week later, and you can’t believe yourself. “Jimin, what did I do? I totally embarrassed myself. I just wasn’t thinking, oh my god, I am ruined.”

He frowns, sitting down next to you. “Well, in all fairness, you did have a concussion.”

“That’s no excuse! I told him he had a nice voice and asked him- multiple times, even- if he was friends with Yugyeom. And I asked him why he always wore the same thing, which is insulting at best.” Jimin starts to respond, but you cut him off before he can get far. “And you should have seen him, Jimin! He’s so good looking... and with the sunlight shining off his hair...”

“I know the doctors said you’d be back to normal by now, but I’m not so sure you are. You never talk about guys like this, even though yours truly gives you loads of complimentable material. I mean have you seen me? And now you’re gushing over a mystery guy?” He laughs and leans back. “You’ll be fine. Even though your life is over, you’ll probably never see him again.”

“But if I do it’ll be so embarrassing! He’s friends with Yugyeom, who I work with, in case you’ve forgotten. And he was even nice enough to take me to the hospital and make sure I was alright, even after I lowkey insulted his outfit choices. I wish there were at least a way to compensate him for listening to my temporary break of insanity.”

“Well, you could always bring him cookies or something. We all love your cookies over at BigHit.”

You nod slowly, feeling sorry for yourself. “I guess, but isn’t a little weird? I mean, I barely even know him. What if he’s allergic to chocolate or gluten or something? And then I make him cookies and he eats them and has to ironically go to the hospital because of a fatal allergic reaction? What does he even like them? What if I get it wrong and it ends up doing more harm than good? I would end up being more embarrassed than before. Besides, how will I get them to him? It’s not like I see him on the daily. I’ve seen him maybe twice in passing.”

Jimin shrugs. “Ask Yugyeom. You’re close enough, right?”

“That’s a good idea, actually. One second, let me text him.” You pull out your phone, finding your most recent texts. It was a very sad list comprising of your mother, your sister, and the GOT7 group chat that was mostly just a meme distribution ring courtesy of the maknaes, Bambam and Yugyeom. For some reason, they spent all of their time during which they were supposed to practice finding new memes. While you found it funny, it was not so funny in important meetings when your phone buzzed every second with new images. 

You send a quick text to Yugyeom.

you: hey yugyeom, weird question but who is your friend that only owns one outfit?

you: i think i met him a few days ago

yugyeom: oh jungkook? the ultimate meme machine? jeans and a white shirt with tims?

you: yeah?

you: he was the one who helped me when i got a concussion at that boba place

yugyeom: wow what a gentleman

yugyeom: remind me to hold that over his head. i’m not sure how it could be used as blackmail, as it was technically a good deed, but i will find a way. 

you: no ok but i want to say thank you, for like, u know, saving my life and my job by calling the office off my phone so that i wouldn’t lose my job by disappearing and taking me to the hospital

you: does he like cookies?

yugyeom: yeah but not as much as i do

you: i’m not making cookies for you. that is not what this is about.

yugyeom: y nottttt

you: bc i have other, more important things to do other than cater to your cookie cravings, like you know, help u guys prepare for your world tour

yugyeom: pleaseeee i’ll let u in on the premium memes he sends me

you: i’ll think about it. you drive a hard bargain.

you: anyway

you: is he allergic to anything? and if i gave them to you could you pass them along?

yugyeom: well he’s not allergic to anything

yugyeom: about delivering them

yugeom: hmmmmm

yugyeom: maybe

yugyeom: only if u give me some cookies too xx

you: ughhh fineeeee

you: but you better not expect this again in the future

yugyeom: ~~~~ love u

yugyeom: just lemme know when u drop them off and i’ll get them to him when i can

you: thxx

Smiling to yourself, you slide your phone back into your pocket.

“So? Is he allergic to chocolate? Or gluten? Or your personality?” Jimin looks on curiously.

“Funny, Jimin, but no. I think I’ll make them tonight, if I get the chance,” you decide.

“Good idea. Let me know how this goes, okay? I must stay up to date on your embarrassing endeavors.”

“Will do, asshole.” You glance down at your watch, frowning when you realize how much time has passed. “Crap, my lunch break is just about over. Alright, I’ve got to get back to work, but I’ll be around. Let me know if you want to hang out. Or if you’re bored. I have few friends, Jimin, don’t leave me stranded.” He laughs and stands with you.

“Sure, sure. Good luck at work!” You smile and wave goodbye, heading back to work. You’re not really looking forward to facing this afternoon’s tasks, but someone has to do it... You just wish that someone wasn’t you sometimes.

The next morning, you knock on the door that leads to the bedroom Yugyeom and Bambam share before swinging it open, not bothering to wait for an answer. He’s sitting at the desk that’s crammed into the corner of the room, holding a bowl of cereal and looking half-asleep.

“Rise and shine, motherfucker! You’ve got some cookie delivering to do.” You drop the cookie tin in front of him, and he startles at the sound.

“Jeez, don’t do that... you scared me.” He yawns and rubs a hand over his face. “It’s too early for this.”

“It's one in the afternoon, my friend.”

“It's my day off! Give me a break. You know how hard I have to work for this job?”

“No, I don't, because every waking moment of every day you're sending memes in the group text. How is that classified as “hard work”?”

“That's what I'm working on. It's an endless search for memetic immortality. Your new best friend, that you are apparently stealing from me, is the meme master and shares the burden of this quest with me. I hope you put some pepes on the cookies in icing or some shit, because that would be hilarious.”

You roll your eyes, pushing the tin towards him. “Anyway. Will you get these delivered today?”

“Yeah, of course. The man himself is gonna be here later today.” You nod, hoping he doesn’t forget. “Hey. Where are the cookies you promised me?”

You reach into your bag, rummaging around until you find a smaller tin. “These are for you.”

“How come I don’t get as many as Jungkook?” He frowns, reaching for the tin and opening it, examining the contents critically.

“Because I ate some of yours.” He opens his mouth to complain, but you hush him before he can say anything. “But I’m making brownies next week for friend’s birthday. If you’re nice about this, I might bring you a few.” He perks up at that.

“Will there be any good kush in those brownies? Because you know that shit is the bomb.”

You smack him lightly. “Have you ever even seen a blunt?”

“Good point.” He grins at you unabashedly. “And you’ll bring me some brownies.”

You nod, sighing a little to yourself. “Fine, if you’re nice. And if you actually pay attention during practice and meetings this week.”

He nods, waving you off. “Of course I will be. You know me. I’m an angel, right?”

You roll your eyes and adjust your bag on your shoulder. “Sure, Yugie. I’ll see you later.” You make your way over to the door as he pulls his cookies towards him.

“Have fun at work!”

You shoot him a look before closing the door behind you.

A day later, you get a text.

unknown: hi, is this y/n?

you: yes? if this you mark i swear to god i don’t have your chips and if you ask me one more time...

unknown: this is jungkook

you: ok, wait

you: how did you get my number?

jungkook: i asked yugyeom for it

jungkook: i just wanted to say thx for the cookies

jungkook: they were really good! did you make them? i feel like i’ve had this recipe before, but in a good way u feel

you: oh, thanks ,,

you: i did make them

you: but they were supposed to be a thank you in the first place... you don’t have to say thank you for a thank you

jungkook: well, i also wanted to check in and see if you were doing ok

And just like that, you fell a little harder for him.

jungkook: you didn’t look great when i left you at the hospital :(

you: wow you you really know how to charm a woman

jungkook: oh wait that totally sounds like an insult now that i think about it

you: lol no it’s totally fine i was kidding

you: thanks for checking in, i’m doing much better now

you: and i actually wanted to say sorry bc i was really out of it at the time and i didn’t really act the way i normally do

jungkook: no no no you’re good

jungkook: lol it was actually pretty cute

Cute? You raise an eyebrow, a smile creeping onto your face, but before you can respond, you get another panicked text.

jungkook: oh wait no i’m sorryyy i don’t know how to do thisss

you: no you’re fine! seriously don’t worry

you: but

you: would it rly be a crime to call me cute tho

jungkook: oh no i mean you are really cute!

jungkook: i just thought it might make you uncomfortable or something

you: seriously it’s fine don’t worry about it

jungkook: ok but actually the reason i texted you was to see if there was any way i could thank you for the cookies?

you: they were a thank you! you totally don’t have to do anything

jungkook: but what if i want to?

That makes you pause, fingers hovering over the screen.

you: well, you could always buy me coffee?

You’re sitting at a table at the coffee shop, checking your phone repeatedly. You can’t help but be nervous. I mean, this is the first time you’re actually meeting him. In your right mind, anyway.

You glance up when the bell on the door chimes, and he appears in the doorway, wearing the same outfit as ever. He glances around before his eyes settle on you. A smile lights up his face immediately- like sunlight, you think- and he heads in your direction.

You stand to greet him, returning the smile. “Hi! It’s nice to actually meet you. You know, when I don’t have a concussion.” He laughs nervously and nods.

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too! I’m glad you’re feeling okay.” He smiles, looking a little unsure of himself.

“Well, would you like to get some coffee?”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, that’s why we’re here, right?” You go over to the counter together, and when you order, of course he insists on paying. You knew that this was supposed to be a ‘thank you’ but you still halfway expected to be paying for your own.

You sit down together at a table in the corner once you have your drinks(and a muffin, in your case). “So, how do you know Yugyeom?”

“Oh, I work at JYP” you explain. “I’m Park Jinyoung’s assistant. JYP senior, though, as Junior doesn’t have his own personal assistant.”

“Oh, really?” He seems surprised. “I thought you might have been an idol in training. I mean, because you’re really prett-”he cuts off, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

You laugh, shaking your head. “I can neither sing nor dance outside of the shower, and it would be a travesty for a company to sign my nonexistent talent. But you flatter me. What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m with Big Hit.”

“So, you’re an idol?” He nods, looking a little embarrassed.

“You know, I have a friend who’s an idol there. Do you know Park Jimin?” His eyes light up, and he nods excitedly.

“Yeah! I love Jimin! I’m in the same group as he is, actually! He talks about you sometimes, I think!”

“Wait. You’re in BTS?” He nods, still smiling. “No way... Jimin hasn’t said anything about you that I remember...” Jungkook’s face falls a little at that, and you scour your memory to try and remember any mention of him. “Wait...” the realization dawns on you slowly. “You- does anyone ever call you Kookie?”

He lights up again. “Yes, that’s my nickname!”

“Oh my god, he talks about you all the time. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection before this...” you laugh, a little embarrassed. “I can’t wait to tell him about this. He has no idea.”

Jungkook grins and nods again. “Yeah, he’s definitely mentioned you before.”

“All good things, I hope?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it’s Jimin. He’s a nice person. Mostly.”

“Well. That’s debatable. But yes, while he is usually the human personification of salt, he has his moments.”

The time flies, and before you know it, he’s dropping you off at your apartment. “You really didn’t have to walk me home,” you say. But you’re glad he did, anyway.

“Well, I wanted to. What if you’d gotten hurt or something? Of course, seeing you with a concussion again probably wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. That was actually really funny.”

“Hey,” you protest, but you’re smiling. “Be nice.” You fall into silence for a brief moment, facing each other in front of the door. The overhead light catches on his hair and shimmers there. “Well, thank you for the coffee! I’ll have to pay you back sometime.”

“Yeah! Yeah, I had a nice time,” he smiles, looking nervous again. For a brief moment, you think he might kiss you. “I’d like to see you again.” You nod, smiling, and he hesitates for an awkward moment. “Um, well, have a nice night!” He clears his throat, stepping away towards the stairs.

“You too! Tell Jimin I say hi!” He nods, smiling, before making his way down the stairs. You’re left standing in front of your door, and you sigh to yourself before reaching forward to unlock the door.

You make your way into your apartment, closing the door behind you and pausing there. You let your head fall forward to rest against the wood.

What have I gotten myself into?

You’re running your hands over the steering wheel anxiously, Jimin sitting in the passenger seat beside you. “Nervous?” He has an irritating smile on his face, and the traffic isn’t helping your mood.

“No, I’m just swell. Perfect. I feel great,” you snap a little bit, not taking your eyes off of the bumper of the car in front of you.

“Seriously, I had no idea your knight in shining armor would be Jungkookie, of all people. Are you sure he’s fit for the job?” he laughed.

“Well, I didn’t know him either. Now that I think about it, why haven’t you shown me pictures of your members to match your stories? All I’ve pictured when you’ve mentioned him was a pig with huge biceps. Anyway, I suppose I’ll meet all of the other members, and there won’t be any more weird surprises down the road?”

“Yes! I’m looking forward to it, actually, I’ve been wanting to introduce you to them for a while now!”

“Yeah, Jungkook said you’d mentioned me,” you shoot him a look out of the corner of your eye, which he pointedly ignores.

“Yup, but I promise, all good things.”

“It better be.”

You finally pull into the parking lot of the cafe, though finding a spot is a bit of a struggle. Eventually, you manage to park and make your way inside.

You spot them almost immediately, at one of the larger tables off to the side. There are six of them, plus Jimin. You notice that one of them, with mint green hair, is the same one you’d seen talking to Jungkook when you’d first met him at the boba shop.

They wave when they see you, grinning and laughing, and you find yourself a little more at ease. At the very least, they look friendly. (If not almost intimidatingly good-looking)

One of them, with pale pink hair(it reminds you of cotton candy) stands up as you approach, smiling and reaching over to shake your hand. He introduces himself as Kim Namjoon, quickly striking up a conversation. He’s clearly well-spoken and intelligent, and you find that you like talking to him. However, he can’t hold your attention for long. Soon, you’re being crowded by curious faces. The names fly by so fast you almost miss them, and even with the support of Jimin’s anecdotes, you’re sure you won’t remember them in an hour. 

Even as introductions are being made, you keep glancing over at Jungkook, and more often than not, you make eye contact.

Once that’s finished, you’re led over to sit between Jimin and Jungkook. The chatter continues, and though you don’t join in that much, you still find yourself laughing along with the rest of them. Every now and then, you look over and exchange a glance with Jungkook. He really lights up when he’s with the rest of the members.

It seems like no time has passed when they say goodbye, heading off in their own separate directions. Jimin leaves last, winking conspiratorially and throwing a very obvious glance over your shoulder at Jungkook, who’s stayed behind.

Once he leaves, you turn back to Jungkook. “So,” he says, “what’d you think?” He seems both eager and a little anxious to hear your response.

“Yeah, they were great! Although, I have to say, I still like you and Jimin best.” He laughs and blushes a little at that.

“Ah, you shouldn’t say that.” You shrug and smile at him.

“Too late. So, are we going to go do something? Or would you rather stay here?” You’d originally planned to spend some time with him one-on-one, but he and Jimin had decided the wedge a meet and greet in there, too.  

“Well, there’s a nice park around here, if you’d like to go there?”

“Sure! I’ll follow your lead. I don’t know this area very well, you know.” The park is, in fact, quite pleasant. Living in Seoul does have its downsides(read: So. Much. City.), so you’re happy to be around actual trees and nature for once. Besides, with Jungkook, you find yourself laughing more than you have all week.

Again, it seems like time flies before it’s getting dark and you have to leave. You have to get up early for work tomorrow, so you unfortunately have to head home. Since you have a car, you drop Jungkook off at the dorms before heading home yourself.

Your apartment seems empty and remarkably quiet when you get back, after the excitement of the day. It’s okay, though, because the warm feeling in your chest chases some of the loneliness away.

Your next ‘date’ with Jungkook (you’re still not really sure what relationship you have, actually) happens to be an ice skating date. You, physically uncoordinated as you are, manage to fall an uncountable number of times, clinging to his arm. It’s still fun, though, and you’re not complaining.

About 45 minutes in, you decide to take a break. You sit on the benches while he goes to get hot chocolate. When he returns, he’s smiling, eyes shining, and you think he looks like sunlight.

“Your nose is a little pink,” he points out, handing one of the cups to you. You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling.

“No, really? I wonder why.”

“Well, at least it’s cute,” he says, almost like it slipped out before he thought about it, and sits down beside you.

You glance over at him. “That’s the second time you’ve called me cute.” He turns bright red almost immediately, looking down at his hands.

“Well,” he’s muttering now. “I mean, you are.”

You smile, but don’t respond, leaning back to watch the ice skaters. Some of them have clearly been skating for years. Others, not so much.

It’s not long before Jungkook swings you back onto the ice, determined to at least get you a little more comfortable with it.

You’re starting to get the hang of it, you think (finally), when suddenly, your blade catches on the ice and sends you flying. You end up landing hard on your left arm again, air knocked out of your lungs, head spinning. You’ve fallen many times before, but this is the most painful one by far.

“Are you okay?” You see him appear over you, looking concerned. He kneels on the ice beside you as you blink to try and clear your vision a little bit.

“Oh, god, that hurts.” Your head is pounding, and you don’t even try to sit up. You look around, brow furrowing. “Sorry, what were we doing? I don’t- you’re- you’re Jungkook, right?” You nod slowly to yourself, “yes, that’s right. You’re friends with Yugyeom, aren’t you? Why do you always wear the same thing?”

Jungkook looks a little stunned, and you can’t help but laugh at his expression. “Sorry, I was just messing with you. But, in all seriousness, this does hurt. Not my head, but my arm.”

“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts, but he helps you up anyway.

He takes your left arm in gentle hands, running his fingers over it. You flinch when he touches it, and he immediately apologizes.

“I think it might be broken,” he says, frowning. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize ice skating would be this dangerous.”

You laugh, “I don’t think it is, for the most part. This is just an exception. I’m a clumsy person.”

“Well, I guess we should go to the hospital... again. It seems to be our special place.” You reach out(with your good arm) and squeeze his hand gently.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll be fine!” He nods, still looking remorseful, and leads the way out of the rink.

When all's said and done, you do end up with a cast. Jungkook still looks miserable, sitting in the corner of the room, alternating between staring at you and at the floor. In short, he looks pitiful. Once the doctor leaves, you wave him over to where you’re still sitting on the examination table.

He examines the cast critically, brow furrowed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Jungkook, I’m fine. I’ve said that a million times now- when are you going to believe me?”

He shakes his head slowly, “I just feel bad that you got hurt because of me. I feel like every time you get hurt, I’m with you.”

“You clearly don’t know me very well. I’m a very clumsy person, Jeon Jungkook, you don’t have much to do with it.” The frown softens, but still doesn’t disappear, so you take his hand in yours. “Hey. Jungkook.”

“Yes?” He’s close enough for you to hear his breath, soft and quiet, like morning air.

“Even if it were your fault, I’d still want to be with you.”

“Really?” He looks a little more hopeful at that. You nod, with more conviction this time.

And then(because, really, what else did he expect?) you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, soft and just a little bit chapped. “Absolutely.”

[sunnybats]

Can u please tell me a little more about ur ha canons? :o it sounds v interesting 2 me!!

you best believe im gonna do this

this post is gonna be long and lame as fuck so

garbage abt tunglr user sunnybats: an illustrated guide

first off i have a notebook filled with memories n shit but its awful at the moment, i have sketches to go w the stuff in there so ill add some of those in but here are two pages that you probably wont be able to read

these are the only decent pages but anywaY

alright SO ill start w Ya Girl Terepy Pypes 

young torpezi was havin a good life when along came this Pal

tiny vasker lol

she was a bitch but i thought she was rad at the time bc she was like hey lets be buddies and she beat up anyone who was a dick to me so???? small rerez, really not thinking about the consequences or what would happen if she got on the vrisks bad side, was like “R4D” and pulled stupid shit with the spider troll 

pictured: mini rez gasping bc she has a friend for the worst reasons ever

and then ara died and i was blinded and tav lost his mcfucking mobility and it became painfully clear that vriska gave no shits about anyone other than herself

does this look like the face of a man who wants to have anything to do w you vriska lol

vriska aside me and nep rped a lot which was pretty frickin edgy of us, nep thankfully had nothing to do with vriska and had no intentions of ever having anything to do with her [equius wouldnt have let her even if she did god bless you sweaty horseman, doin the lords work]

now that i think about it my friends were definitely,, of a certain variety

coug,,h ,,,,,

anywAY

i dont remember much about being w gamzee but i know it happened???? i very much remember getting my vision back perfectly and i was ,,, shook,, and not in a good way

Lizard Bitch Cries (2017, Graphite on Paper)

also have this gamzee drawing im still tryin to figure out exactly what he looked like

uh, that probably sums up al i can think of for terep rn lol

dirk , a known homosexual,

aight so first off heres a fun fact: i did home piercings bc obviously there was no other way to get them done and i wanted my septum done. it took. a lot of time and tears and it hurt for weeks. roxy told me if i did it she’d block me. she didnt.

two hours post tragedy

and speaking of tragedies lets talk about caliborn while im not fucking dying about it

alright so imagine youre some sad as fuck gay dude whos desperate for any attention at all and you start getting harassed by some annoying dude who you hate. and youve got a crush on this guy but youre pretty sure hes only into girls [i was essentially right hes like hardly into guys], and then you have another guy who is saying awful shit about you but youre kinda into that, and hes saying that youre right, the dude youre totally weak for has zero interest in you, but guess who does in some fucked up way. if any of that makes sense.

its really fucking embarrassing. but yeah it was like? caliborn was my kismesis i guess? even though it was never really said. i would have rather died than let anyone i knew find out,,, but at the same time,, im fucking dying here squirtle please help.

during the game there was some sort of,, ????? i dont know? a physical encounter. which became a fight, which ended with him fucking off and not really contacting me ever again. my right eye got fucked up? he tried to gouge it out. a few scars across my face never really went away, but it was alright. jane had to help me pretty much not fucking die. she never found out why it happened or who did it. she didnt really press me for any details after, which was part of the reason i went to her - roxy and jake are too nosy, no offense meant.

fine art. anyway

may as well dump the remainder of the sketches i have here.

ded boy tries to find decent anime online [he doesnt succeed because there is no decent anime but no one told him that]

god tier fuckers

a jake???? i cant seem to draw him right. he usually straightened his hair and had product in, but if he didnt itd go curlyish?? kind of fluffy? it was cool.

dude mcfucking dies over the fact hes now technically cis

anyway uh???????????? idk what else to add i hope thi s wasnt completely boring,,,,,

also fun fact terezi and chiaki [from super danganronpa 2 who is Also Me] have the same hairstyle???????? what does this Mean

[thomaspatterson1989]

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How Much Does It Cost To Spay A Cat In Victoria Bc

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[terabitweb]

Original Post from Amazon Security Author: Supriya Anand

Byron Cook leads the AWS Automated Reasoning Group, which automates proof search in mathematical logic and builds tools that provide AWS customers with provable security. Byron has pushed boundaries in this field, delivered real-world applications in the cloud, and fostered a sense of community amongst its practitioners. In recognition of Byron’s contributions to cloud security and automated reasoning, the UK’s Royal Academy of Engineering elected him as one of 7 new Fellows in computing this year.

I recently sat down with Byron to discuss his new Fellowship, the work that it celebrates, and how he and his team continue to use automated reasoning in new ways to provide higher security assurance for customers in the AWS cloud.

Congratulations, Byron! Can you tell us a little bit about the Royal Academy of Engineering, and the significance of being a Fellow?

Thank you. I feel very honored! The Royal Academy of Engineering is focused on engineering in the broad sense; for example, aeronautical, biomedical, materials, etc. I’m one of only 7 Fellows elected this year that specialize in computing or logic, making the announcement really unique.

As for what the Royal Academy of Engineering is: the UK has Royal Academies for key disciplines such as music, drama, etc. The Royal Academies focus financial support and recognition on these fields, and gives a location and common meeting place. The Royal Academy of Music, for example, is near Regent’s Park in West London. The Royal Academy of Engineering’s building is in Carlton Place, one of the most exclusive locations in central London near Pall Mall and St. James’ Park. I’ve been to a number of lectures and events in that space. For example, it’s where I spoke ten years ago when I was the recipient of the Roger Needham prize. Some examples of previously elected Fellows include Sir Frank Whittle, who invented the jet engine; radar pioneer Sir George MacFarlane, and Sir Tim Berners-Lee, who developed the world-wide web.

Can you tell us a little bit about why you were selected for the award?

The letter I received from the Royal Academy says it better than I could say myself:

“Byron Cook is a world-renowned leader in the field of formal verification. For over 20 years Byron has worked to bring this field from academic hypothesis to mechanised industrial reality. Byron has made major research contributions, built influential tools, led teams that operationalised formal verification activities, and helped establish connections between others that have dramatically accelerated growth of the area. Byron’s tools have been applied to a wide array of topics, e.g. biological systems, computer operating systems, programming languages, and security. Byron’s Automated Reasoning Group at Amazon is leading the field to even greater success”.

Formal verification is the one term here that may be foreign to you, so perhaps I should explain. Formal verification is the use of mathematical logic to prove properties of systems. Euclid, for example, used formal verification in ~300 BC to prove that the Pythagorean theorem holds for all possible right-angled triangles. Today we are using formal verification to prove things about all possible configurations of a computer program might reach. When I founded Amazon’s Automated Reasoning Group, I named it that because my ambition was to automate all of the reasoning performed during formal verification.

Can you give us a bit of detail about some of the “research contributions and tools” mentioned in the text from Royal Academy of Engineering?

Probably my best-known work before joining Amazon was on the Terminator tool. Terminator was designed to reason at compile-time about what a given computer program would eventually do when running in production. For example, “Will the program eventually halt?” This is the famous “Halting problem,” proved undecidable in the 1930s. The Terminator tool piloted a new approach to the problem which is popular now, based on the idea of incrementally improving the best guess for a proof based on failed proof attempts. This was the first known approach capable of scaling termination proving to industrial problems. My colleagues and I used Terminator to find bugs in device drivers that could cause operating systems to become unresponsive. We found many bugs in device drivers that ran keyboards, mice, network devices, and video cards. The Terminator tool was also the basis of BioModelAnaylzer. It turns out that there’s a connection between diseases like Leukemia and the Halting problem: Leukemia is a termination bug in the genetic-regulatory pathways in your blood. You can think of it in the same way you think of a device driver that’s stuck in an infinite loop, causing your computer to freeze. My tools helped answer fundamental questions that no tool could solve before. Several pharmaceutical companies use BioModelAnaylzer today to understand disease and find new treatment options. And these days, there is an annual international competition with many termination provers that are much better than the Terminator. I think that this is what Royal Academy is talking about when they say I moved the area from “academic hypothesis to mechanized industrial reality.”

I have also worked on problems related to the question of P=NP, the most famous open problem in computing theory. From 2000-2006, I built tools that made NP feel equal to P in certain limited circumstances to try and understand the problem better. Then I focused on circumstances that aligned with important industrial problems, like proving the absence of bugs in microprocessors, flight control software, telecommunications systems, and railway control systems. These days the tools in this space are incredibly powerful. You should check out the software tools CVC4 or Z3.

And, of course, there’s my work with the Automated Reasoning Group, where I’ve built a team of domain experts that develop and apply formal verification tools to a wide variety of problems, helping make the cloud more secure. We have built tools that automatically reason about the semantics of policies, networks, cryptography, virtualization, etc. We reason about the implementation of Amazon Web Services (AWS) itself, and we’ve built tools that help customers prove the correctness of their AWS-based implementations.

Could you go into a bit more detail about how this work connects to Amazon and its customers?

AWS provides cloud services globally. Cloud is shorthand for on-demand access to IT resources such as compute, storage, and analytics via the Internet with pay-as-you-go pricing. AWS has a wide variety of customers, ranging from individuals to the largest enterprises, and practically all industries. My group develops mathematical proof tools that help make AWS more secure, and helps AWS customers understand how to build in the cloud more securely.

I first became an AWS customer myself when building BioModelAnaylzer. AWS allowed us working on this project to solve major scientific challenges (see this Nature Scientific Report for an example) using very large datacenters, but without having to buy the machines, maintain the machines, maintain the rooms that the machines would sit in, the A/C system that would keep them cool, etc. I was also able to easily provide our customers with access to the tool via the cloud, because it’s all over the internet. I just pointed people to the end-point on the internet and, presto, they were using the tool. About 5 years before developing BioModelAnalyzer, I was developing proof tools for device drivers and I gave a demo of the tool to my executive leadership. At the end of the demo, I was asked if 5,000 machines would help us do more proofs. Computationally, the answer was an obvious “yes,” but then I thought a minute about the amount of overhead required to manage a fleet of 5,000 machines and reluctantly replied “No, but thank you very much for the offer!” With AWS, it’s not even a question. Anyone with an Amazon account can provision 5,000 machines for practically nothing. In less than 5 minutes, you can be up and running and computing with thousands of machines.

What I love about working at AWS is that I can focus a very small team on proving the correctness of some aspect of AWS (for example, the cryptography) and, because of the size and importance of the customer base, we make much of the world meaningfully more secure. Just to name a few examples: s2n (the Amazon TLS implementation); the AWS Key Management Service (KMS), which allows customers to securely store crypto keys; and networking extensions to the IoT operating system Amazon FreeRTOS, which customers use to link cloud to IoT devices, such as robots in factories. We also focus on delivering service features that help customers prove the correctness of their AWS-based implementations. One example is Tiros, which powers a network reachability feature in Amazon Inspector. Another example is Zelkova, which powers features in services such as Amazon S3, AWS Config, and AWS IoT Device Defender.

When I think of mathematical logic I think of obscure theory and messy blackboards, not practical application. But it sounds like you’ve managed to balance the tension between theory and practical industrial problems?

I think that this is a common theme that great scientists don’t often talk about. Alan Turing, for example, did his best work during the war. John Snow, who made fundamental contributions to our understanding of germs and epidemics, did his greatest work while trying to figure out why people were dying in the streets of London. Christopher Stratchey, one of the founders of our field, wrote:

“It has long been my personal view that the separation of practical and theoretical work is artificial and injurious. Much of the practical work done in computing, both in software and in hardware design, is unsound and clumsy because the people who do it have not any clear understanding of the fundamental design principles in their work. Most of the abstract mathematical and theoretical work is sterile because it has no point of contact with real computing.”

Throughout my career, I’ve been at the intersection of practical and theoretical. In the early days, this was driven by necessity: I had two children during my PhD and, frankly, I needed the money. But I soon realized that my deep connection to real engineering problems was an advantage and not a disadvantage, and I’ve tried through the rest of my career to stay in that hot spot of commercially applicable problems while tackling abstract mathematical topics.

What’s next for you? For the Automated Reasoning Group? For your scientific field?

The Royal Academy of Engineering kindly said that I’ve brought “this field from academic hypothesis to mechanized industrial reality.” That’s perhaps true, but we are very far from done: it’s not yet an industrial standard. The full power of automated reasoning is not yet available to everyone because today’s tools are either difficult to use or weak. The engineering challenge is to make them both powerful and easy to use. With that I believe that they’ll become a key part of every software engineer’s daily routine. What excites me is that I believe that Amazon has a lot to teach me about how to operationalize the impossible. That’s what Amazon has done over and over again. That’s why I’m at Amazon today. I want to see these proof techniques operating automatically at Amazon scale.

Links: • Provable security webpage • Lecture: Fundamentals for Provable Security at AWS • Lecture: The evolution of Provable Security at AWS • Lecture: Automating compliance verification using provable security • Lecture: Byron speaks about Terminator at University of Colorado • https://biomodelanalyzer.org/

If you have feedback about this post, let us know in the Comments section below.

Want more AWS Security news? Follow us on Twitter.

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Go to Source Author: Supriya Anand AWS Security Profile: Byron Cook, Director of the AWS Automated Reasoning Group Original Post from Amazon Security Author: Supriya Anand Byron Cook leads the AWS Automated Reasoning Group…

[letterdrill08-blog]

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