#pro tip- never go into tags of a poll consisting your favourite thing if you have rsd especially if the thing has some controversial fans
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#rsd and anxiety through the roof#the new poll thing brought back some bad memories and feelings from the old days of vld fandom#Ughhh it hurts#this fandom has been a major source of stress and anxiety for so many years now#a better person would have left earlier#I am not a better person#i like these characters but sometimes i have to ask myself is it really worth it?#sometimes i wish i had never watched the show it was one disappointment after another#why did this show had to be so popular and bad and had such a godawful fandom?#pro tip- never go into tags of a poll consisting your favourite thing if you have rsd especially if the thing has some controversial fans#attached to it#and i just feel so stupid for letting fucking fandom bullshit get to me again#i deleted my old blog and only follow 6 ppl now to get away from fandom bullshit#last few months have been a real emotional rollercoaster from all sides and i think i am reaching the breaking point#It's just ughh#I am taking a break#empty salt#probably will delete later
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