#prize of my collection so far

[albireonic-lustre]

Oh yeah, now that Pokemon Home has been updated, I can finally get my shiny tea party all together ☕😁

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2

Part 3

[oscinhaslandito]

MINI MCLAREN MAYHEM

pairings: lando norris x reader word count: 1.87k

Friday mornings on race weekends were always a little less chaotic than usual. Free Practice meant Lando wasn’t in full send mode just yet —just warm-up vibes, some light teasing from his engineers, and time to breathe.

And this Friday morning? He was floating. Because today… he had Pearl, his two year old menace of a daughter.

Y/N had dressed her while Lando was in the shower. When he stepped out, toweling his curls, he found his daughter toddling around the hotel room, swaddled in a hoodie that made her look like a tiny marshmallow.

The tiny girl stood in front of the mirror, wobbling slightly in her socks, swaddled in a hoodie so oversized it practically doubled as a sleeping bag. The hoodie was sky blue, bright and cheerful and unmistakably part of Lando’s Quadrant collection for kids. His own name in bold white letters across the back. And his logo, loud and proud, right beneath it.

“Pearl,” he said, squinting. “What’re you—wait. WAIT A MINUTE.”

“NOOOO. NO STOP. I’M ACTUALLY GONNA CRY,” he said, dropping the towel like a dramatic soap opera lead. “WHAT. IS THIS. FIT.”

Pearl blinked up at him and said, “I Dadda,” very seriously.

Lando dropped to his knees like he’d just seen a religious vision. “No. No. NO WAY. Who did this? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN?” he shouted dramatically.

Y/N walked in with a coffee in hand, looking far too calm for the chaos unfolding. “I dressed her,” she said, sipping. “We’re going out in a bit, and she wanted to wear it. Said it’s her ‘special Dadda shirt.’”

Lando made a noise that was somewhere between a squeal and a sob. He picked up Pearl instantly, holding her under the arms with the reverence of someone handling ancient treasure. “You’re a genius,” he whispered to Y/N. “And this hoodie is the best thing I’ve ever made. Pearl, baby, you look ICONIC.”

Pearl giggled and clapped her hands, hoodie sleeves flopping like noodles.

You could physically hear Lando’s heart combust. “You’re not just my daughter,” he whispered, scooping her up. “You’re my brand ambassador.”

“Babe, you’ve got like—” she checked her phone “—forty-five minutes before you have to be at the garage.”

“I’m taking her,” Lando said instantly. “I don’t care,it's just Free Practice. I’m walking in with her like she owns the grid.”

“You’re not bringing her out like a championship trophy, Lando—”

“Oh but I am.”

Cue McLaren garage. Late morning. Coffee cups in mechanics’ hands, soft background chatter, engineers going over setups—business as usual.

Until Lando walked in.

Wearing his race suit (unzipped and tied around his waist), carrying Pearl in his arms like a prize-winning squash.

“Gentlemen,” he announced, standing in the middle of the garage, “may I present: THE FUTURE OF THIS TEAM.”

And that’s when it happened.

Without a second thought—without warning—before anyone could question his sanity, Lando lifted her high above his head, straight-up Simba style.

“LOOK AT HER,” he declared. “MY CHILD. WEARING. MY. MERCH!”

The entire garage froze. Then someone snorted. And then another mechanic just straight up lost it. A few people clapped. One guy might’ve saluted.

Zak Brown popped his head out from behind a screen like “what the hell is going on—OH.”

Y/N, trailing behind, was instantly 400 levels of stress. “Lando!” she yelped, half-laughing, half-panicking. “Can you please not Simba our child?! What if you drop her?”

Lando lowered Pearl just enough to flash his wife a grin. “Don’t worry. She’s got that Norris grip strength.”

Pearl, still suspended mid-air, flailed her little legs. “Upsies! Again!”

“She’s repping the brand, babe!” he said proudly. “Look at the hoodie. LOOK AT IT. It’s iconic.”

“She’s two.”

“She’s a model.”

Pearl giggled and patted his cheeks with her sleeve-covered hands. “Again, Dadda. Up again.”

“Oh no,” Y/N groaned. “You’ve created a monster.”

“Correction,” Lando said, kissing his daughter’s forehead. “I’ve created a mascot.”

Later that afternoon, after Lando had done his laps, changed out of his race suit, and inhaled a concerning number of snacks from the hospitality tent, he was back in the garage—with Pearl right where she belonged.

On his hip. Like the clingiest, cutest sloth you’ve ever seen.

Y/N sat off to the side, watching with mild horror as her husband gave their 2-year-old a full tour of a literal Formula 1 garage like it was Disneyland. “And this,” he said, crouching beside his car, “is where Dadda sits when he goes super fast.”

Pearl gasped like she’d just seen a unicorn. “So shinyyy!” she said, touching the halo with her mitten-sized hand.

“Yeah,” Lando grinned. “Shiny and speedy. Like you when you steal Mum’s phone.”

Just then, Oscar Piastri walked in, paused mid-step, and blinked at the sight before him. “Uh. Why is there a child next to the car. Is that legal?”

“She’s MY child,” Lando huffed. “And she's clearly part of the engineering department. She’s giving feedback.”

Pearl pointed to the wheel. “Car go vroom!” she declared.

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Well, she’s not wrong.”

“See? Genius,” Lando smirked. “We’re hiring her full-time. She starts next Tuesday. Gotta lock her down before Red Bull gets to her.”

Y/N called from the side, “Please don’t give Helmut Marko any ideas!”

Lando lifted Pearl into the air again—less Simba, more airplane mode this time—and zoomed her over to the cockpit like weeeeeeeeee.

“Baby,” Y/N warned, standing up, “don’t even think about—”

Too late.

Pearl was now in the car.

Sitting in the cockpit. Hoodie bunched up, legs too short to reach anything, arms spread wide like she was about to take flight.

Lando crouched in front of her, wide-eyed with pride. “...She looks so natural in there. I’m gonna cry.”

Oscar leaned against a wall, shaking his head. “She’s already got a better seat fit than half the grid.”

Pearl grabbed the steering wheel, made a vroom sound, pressing all the buttons, then loudly went: “BEEEEEP!”

The mechanics—who were supposed to be working—absolutely lost it.

Y/N buried her face in her hands. “She’s gonna think she actually drove that car, isn’t she?”

“She’s gonna think she won a Grand Prix,” Lando said proudly. “As she should.”

Eventually, Pearl got tuckered out from all the imaginary racing and was scooped up into Y/N’s arms, hoodie sleeves now stained with garage dust and snacks.

Lando kissed her cheek and whispered, “You did great today, little driver.”

Pearl blinked sleepily. “Car go vroom.”

He smiled. “Yeah, baby. Car definitely go vroom.”

The garage was still buzzing from the morning practice session, but the real work was starting now. Lando was seated in the McLaren briefing room, headset on, discussing track strategy with his engineers. His race engineer was in full-on “game plan” mode, listing off tire choices and adjustments to the car's balance.

Lando was nodding, but his eyes kept drifting to the door—more specifically, to the tiny figure standing in the doorway, peeking around it with wide eyes.

“Okay, Lando, we’ve got a lot to focus on here. Tire management, turn 12 braking points, strategy for—”

“Wait.” Lando held up a finger, eyes still locked on the door. “One sec, guys.”

The engineers exchanged confused glances. “Uh… Lando?”

And then, as if she were on a mission, Pearl made her move.

Tiny feet padded into the room, a little determined waddle in her sky blue hoodie, the LN logo bouncing with each step.

“PEARL,” Lando groaned, already starting to chuckle. “Not now, baby girl.”

Pearl, on a mission, continued her march forward with the seriousness of someone heading to war. The team looked back at Lando, raising an eyebrow.

“She’s… going to the briefing room?” one engineer whispered.

“I don’t know what’s happening right now,” Lando said, still half-laughing, half-panicking, but in a good way.

Pearl’s eyes found her target: Lando’s legs. And with the speed of a Formula 1 car, she launched herself toward him.

“Dadda! UP!” she announced, arms outstretched, determined to climb onto his lap.

Lando, who was supposed to be in focus mode, immediately dropped the headset and scooped her up. ��Oh, you’re really doing this, huh?”

“Car go vroom,” Pearl said, smacking her hands on the table in front of him like she was trying to take over the strategy meeting.

Y/N appeared in the doorway just then, her hand over her mouth to hide a smile. “Lando, she’s—”

“Shh!” Lando whispered, holding Pearl against him. “This is important business.”

“Important business?” one engineer asked, blinking at the tiny human in his lap. “That’s the boss right there.”

Pearl, having zero concept of actual strategy, proceeded to press every single button on Lando’s tablet in front of him. The tire strategy? Gone. The fuel calculations? Gone.

“Uh, Lando…” one of the engineers started nervously. “We need that back.”

But it was no use. Pearl had claimed her space. She was making important decisions by tapping away at the screen like a mini tech mogul.

“No one’s getting through this meeting unless we address this first,” Lando grinned, motioning to Pearl’s impromptu takeover of his lap. “I’m telling you, she’s gonna be running the team by next season.”

“Lando, please,” Y/N groaned, walking over to them. “She’s two.”

“She’s a future team principal,” he argued back, completely lost in his daughter’s antics. “Can’t you see the vision, babe?”

As the strategy meeting continued, Lando spent the next several minutes trying to listen while also comforting Pearl, who had climbed halfway onto the table and was now trying to rip the screen protector off his tablet. Meanwhile, Y/N gave him the look—a mix of “I love you but what are you doing” and “I am going to deal with this later.”

But then, without warning, Pearl turned to the engineers and said with all the seriousness in the world:

“Go fast!”

And the whole room erupted in laughter.

“Alright,” Lando said, chuckling as he glanced at the engineers. “Pearl says we go fast. That’s the strategy.”

The engineers all nodded, visibly trying to suppress their grins. “Got it, boss,” one of them said, completely deadpan. “Go fast. We’ll make that happen.”

Lando leaned back in his chair, looking down at Pearl, who was now happily playing with a race radio. “See? They get it.”

Y/N just shook her head, but she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the two of them—father and daughter, utterly unbothered by the seriousness of the situation.

And as the antics of the day sporaled down, Lando stayed in the garage a little longer than usual—Pearl still in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder, the soft blue of her hoodie a tiny pop of calm in the buzz of race prep.

She didn’t know what DRS was. She couldn’t tell a slick from an intermediate. But she knew one thing for sure: she was safe, warm, and with her daddy—who just so happened to be the biggest goofball on the grid.

And as they packed up and headed back to the hotel, Pearl snoozing in Y/N’s arms, Lando looked over at them and thought, Yep. This is the podium that actually matters.

[nomorezerocomments]

Blog Introduction

Hello! Welcome to the No More Zero Comments Project! This is a blog dedicated to reducing the amount of fics on ao3 that have no comments at all.

The goal is simple: find fics with no comments, read them, and leave a comment for the author. However, I (this blogs creator) am not in every fandom to ever exist on ao3 so this is not a task I can do alone. That's where you come in!

There are two ways you can do this. One is to go out and find fics with zero comments in your fandoms, and leave a comment. The other is to take a look at the spreadsheet i made with a list of fics i found with no comments and see if there's any fandoms you know. If I did my job right, you should be able to filter it? Who knows, I suck at technology. This spreadsheet will be updated regularly by adding new fics (and removing ones that have now received comments) so there will always be new stuff to see!

So far, the spreadsheet contains mostly fics from @febuwhump collections, as their commentfest is where i got this idea. If you want to submit one of your own zero comment fics for the spreadsheet, you can do so here.

If you read a fic from the spreadsheet and leave a comment on it (or have received a comment on your own fic that is on the spreadsheet), you can let me know here so I can remove it from the spreadsheet (you do not have to do this, I will try to check regularly to see if fics have received comments, but doing it this way will be a HUGE help to me)!

Some preemptive answers to potential FAQs under the cut!

Who runs this blog?

That'd be me, Izak, also known as @lightningzombie! Hi!

Wait, I see one of your fics on the spreadsheet!

Look. I'm not doing this for no reason. Around 14% of my own fics have no comments. In the interest of fairness, I'll only be adding one of my own fics to the spreadsheet at a time. This limit only applies to me as the owner of this blog. Everyone else can have as many as they like on there lol

Do I have to read fics from the spreadsheet?

Nope! It's just a handy tool for if you're looking for something to read, and want to help out an author in need of their first comment. You can go find zero comment fics wherever you usually get fics from

Is there some sort of prize/competition?

Nope! This is just an effort to increase fandom engagement since it fell off post-COVID. You don't have to report to me about it, you just gotta do it!

Why did you decide to do this?

Frustration with the lack of comments on my fics and the death of comment culture in general. Bewilderment when I saw a fic that had 1200 kudos and no comments. The joy that leaving 100 comments and receiving 20+ during the Febuwhump commentfest brought me. Boredom. Many reasons!

Will you do events?

Maybe! If there's enough interest we could do events similar to justleaveacommentfest.

Can I submit other peoples fics for the spreadsheet?

I mean, yeah, of course. But like, if you're going to the trouble of submitting someone else's fic, why not just leave a comment on it?

(edit: if you want to add a bunch of stuff from your fandoms that you don't have time to read/have tags you can't read then go for it!)

I don't know how to comment!

Yes, you do. "I like this" is a comment. "How dare you do that to [insert blorbo here]" is a comment. "<3" is a comment. "KAJSDAKSDHJ WHYYYYY????" is a comment. "I am rapidly approaching your location" is a comment. Just be kind!

Will you be doing this for platforms other than ao3?

For now, no. Ao3 is the platform I've used for a decade and the one I understand. However if you comment on fics that aren't on ao3, that's great! The spirit of the project is so give love to authors so do that on whatever platform you see fit

Happy commenting!

[torialefay]

"you've never had someone be this good to you before?"

perv!changbin x fem!reader

✨ synopsis: changbin couldn't help but to offer his services when he found out that the object of his obsessive thoughts had never been properly taken care of.

✨ word count: ~3.2k

✨ warnings: perv changbin, orgasm control, oral (fem receiving); minors DNI 🔞

✨ note: you can pop over to my masterlist & scroll toward the bottom to find the smut request info & prompts. i would love to receive some prompts that aren't strictly fem!reader (but ofc those are welcome too) <3

• you'd been friends for well over a year, yes. so how could you not have known that this entire time, changbin had been watching you?

• it had started as innocent, really. simply watching the way you walked and how your hips moved side to side with each step. he watched the way your shorts would ride up your thighs every time you sat down. he noticed the way your eyes got so big for him each time you raised your head to look up.

• and slowly, it started to drive him crazy.

• in his head, it was only natural- inevitable really. there was no harm in giving you a little bit of extra attention. nothing wrong with that.

• but before he knew it, he was going to lengths he'd never dreamed.

• friendly banter turned into more extreme measures, like him pulling you into his lap. "playfully" of course, and *not* because of the rush he got knowing that your pussy had just been resting so close to him... only thin fabric separating the two of you.

• although he would never admit it to anyone, he'd secretly taken photos of you. any time you were sitting in your chair, legs wrapped behind the chair legs, which made your ass stick out perfectly in his view. any time your top was low-cut enough to make out the lines between your breasts. any time you were innocently sucking up your drink, licking your lollipop, or licking your lips. he always had his camera at the ready, meticulous in making sure the flash had been turned off. he'd never blow his cover so carelessly.

• he'd "accidentally" drop things next to you just so he could bend down close to you and savor the sight as he came back up. your legs... they looked so soft. he wondered if a day would ever come that you would let him touch them... willingly.

• he'd even go as far as to say something spilled in the seat you were about to go to, so he could lay his jacket down for you to sit on and collect your scent for later.

• when he could finally be alone at the end of the day, he'd make sure he had all of his prized possessions out before he got to work on himself. the photos of you pulled up on his phone. his jacket held up to his face so he could take it in as he began to furiously pump his cock. and before he knew it, he was busting everywhere- his body overwhelmed, begging, and wholly giving in to the thought of you.

• but he didn't think that he'd ever be able to *actually* act on his urges... that is, until you'd messaged him one night that you needed help with something. moving some furniture or something like that- he didn't take the time to read much of the text past "hey, is there any chance you'd be able to come over-." that's all he needed to spring up and out the door.

• after taking care of what you needed, he'd hung around on the couch for a chat. he listened to all of your stories. he admired the amount of information that you entrusted to him. and for you, all of this felt like de-stressing in the most natural way.

• after talking vulnerably about past relationships (at this point, you weren't even aware how you'd gotten to this level of comfort), changbin had managed to squeeze out of you a more intimate conversation- one in which you told him you'd never actually been properly eaten out before.

• his brain couldn't comprehend it. someone as... perfect as you? with those few words, he lost it. all inhibition had left his body now that he'd gotten you to this point.

• "i could, ya know? if you want to of course," he said, his heart leaping inside his chest. he was high off of the adrenaline.

• "what?" you almost laughed in both embarrassment and disbelief. changbin was your friend, nothing more. why would he even joke about something like that?... well, unless he wasn't.

• "i said i could eat you out. show you it can feel good... if you want." his voice remain firm and steady.

• "where is this coming from?" you asked, your mind full of confusion.

• "nowhere, i-" he cleared his throat, now the wobbliness beginning to catch up with him. "nowhere. i just never would have thought that you hadn't, uhh.. had that before. i'm sorry if i made you feel weird," he mumbled in a rush, beginning to stand up.

• "no changbin, it's okay!" you held your hand out, motioning for him to stay. "i just... wasn't expecting that i guess? you've been such a good friend to me, i never thought..." your train of thought ran off. "i mean i'm just surprised is all. i don't want this to come between us. a spur-of-the-moment thing," you voiced nervously. you still weren't sure of the situation, so why were you saying this?

• "spur of the moment?" he chuckled, shaking his head with a smile. "you don't know how badly i've wanted you? you've had no clue this whole time?"

• "no..." your voice went shaky. "you never said anything." you looked down, not sure what to do.

• "what should i have said? that i've thought about fucking you every day for months on end? that i've spent my days doing everything i can to get closer to you... to want you so badly to the point that i cannot physically stand it? and to get anything possible from you because it turns me on? is that what i should have said?"

• you were taken aback. "get anything possible? what do you mean?"

• "nothing," he huffed defensively. you could tell that he was trying to calm himself down. you didn't think he meant to scare you. "just drop it. please. i shouldn't have said anything in the first place... but now here we are."

• "but..." you started, taking a moment to collect the words in your head. "but what if i do want it?" you looked up at him with nervous but hopeful eyes.

• changbin could feel his pulse begin to heighten. "say the word then, and i'll show you." he tried his best to contain the smile that so badly wanted to spread across his face.

• turns out, you didn't need to say anything. you put on a shy grin as you nodded your head, signaling your readiness. within a second, changbin was springing up, eager to finally turn his fantasies into reality.

• "okay, we can go slow if you want?" he half-smirked, looking down at you now. he'd never seen a more perfect sight.

• "yeah, i think that'd be good," you said, still a bit shy. you weren't quite sure where to go from here, so you gladly let him take the lead.

• "turn this way for me," he instructed, holding his hand out for you to grab onto. you took it, and he pulled slightly towards himself, helping you to rotate so that your body was now turned toward the front of the couch.

• changbin followed up with a satisfied smile at how well you were listening to him. just like his fantasies.

• "can i?" he asked, running his hand down gently to rest at the waist band of your shorts.

• you nodded, nibbling at your lips in anticipation.

• gently, changbin lowered himself to begin removing your shorts. slowly but with smooth hands, he removed your legs, one by one. he was careful with watching you- he'd studied your face far too well to miss out on any changing expressions he could coax out.

• throwing your shorts to the side, he sank to his knees so that he was now almost eye level with your pussy. suddenly, you felt exposed. intimidated. suddenly not quite sure how you'd gotten here.

• you closed your thighs together tightly, the red embarrassment evident on your face.

• "here, don't be shy," changbin said, sensing your hesitancy. he softly placed each hand on the inside of either thigh, applying slight pressure to move them apart. although you were fighting through the nerves, his gentleness washed over you with a much needed calming sensation.

• you let out a deep breath, not sure how long you'd been holding it in. you wiggled yourself a bit, trying to adjust to the newness of the situation as you settled into your position.

• changbin smiled up at you in return, his eyes endearing yet full of excitement. a sense of fulfillment had his brain clouded over.

• he wasted no time in running one hand up until it found the heat of your clothed core. you could tell that his hand was slightly shaking in his bout of disbelief, no matter how hard he was trying to cover it up.

• you shuddered a bit at the feeling of his thumb lightly grazing you, making momentary contact with your clit. it sent a bolt down your spine from a feeling that you'd been missing for far too long.

• changbin started slowly, rubbing up and down, then left and right, then in small, dredgingly slow circles trying to figure out what you liked.

• and if you were being honest, at this point, even you didn't know what you liked. no one had ever touched you like this before- so softly, so tenderly. every movement felt like it was the best sensation you'd ever experienced.

• changbin tried unsuccessfully to jerk his smile down while looking at the sight of you beginning to grind your hips down onto his fingers. you were silently begging him for even more contact. seeing you like this... it was better than he could have ever imagined.

• "let's take these off?" changbin whispered, pulling slightly at the hem of your underwear.

• you nodded, your mind coming out of its haze. you tilted your head just enough to watch as changbin slid them down with ease. almost as if he'd trained to do this all so perfectly... for you.

• the look on his face when he finally came in contact with your core, now entirely unclothed, was something you would never forget. his jaw dropped a bit, as if he couldn't believe what was in front of him. but following, barely a moment after, was a face full of determination. determination for what?... well you hoped you knew the answer.

• changbin again decided to rest his hands on the insides of your thighs so that he could spread you open as wide as possible. he wanted to see all of you. have access to every last inch. he was going to do this right.

• "you have to tell me what feels good, okay?" he cooed, looking up from in between your legs.

• you gave a bashful nod in response, signaling that you understood.

• carefully, changbin brought his fingers back to you, letting you get used to the feeling of his contact without moving. once he could tell that your tension was gone, he slowly started to rub up and down, one inch at a time. the fact that you were so wet for him almost made a gasp fall from his mouth. but it didn't. he wouldn't let it. he was going to have to fight the urge for now, not wanting you to feel overwhelmed by him so quickly. he wanted to savor every second he'd get with you.

• almost painfully slow, he continued to let his fingers slide along, getting you more and more worked up with each movement.

• it wasn't until he was completely sure that you were ready when he moved to land over your clit, which had been throbbing by this point. he remained calm, drawing gentle and slow circles around you to gage your reaction. as you strain out an inhaled breath, he knew he was right where he needed to be.

• he brought his face down to your core, mentally preparing to hold himself back. he didn't know how you'd respond, but he knew this was his only chance. he placed a few soft kisses on your inner thigh, acclimating you to his mouth. the kisses grew lighter and lower as he picked your leg up, kissing down to your knees as he went. he settled with resting your leg over his shoulder, granting him better access to you.

• just like the first time, he positioned his face at the opposite thigh, taking his time with soft pecks and temptingly letting his teeth graze your skin. he calmly lifted your leg to position it in parallel to the other, effectively caging himself in.

• you took a deep breath as you felt his tongue on your core, licking its way up. he didn't take much time before finding your clit and proceeding to roll his tongue up and down, trying to gage your reaction.

• as you gradually let yourself relax, you leaned into the feeling that he was providing you. you focused solely on his movements and how each of them made you tingle in a different way.

• you almost lost your breath entirely as he began sucking in, making the wildest noises and moaning on the spot once he heard you let out a tiny whine yourself. the tingles that were being sent into your thighs was proof enough that you'd never experienced something that felt like... well, this before.

• your heart skipped a beat each time he nipped at you in your most sensitive spot. slowly, you were burning for him. you wanted to scream out- to beg to him to do it again. over and over. but at the same time, you didn't know how you'd be able to bear it.

• but changbin knew you well. a small smirk crept across his face as he realized what he'd done to you. it only made him want to work harder to please you. to make you understand exactly what he's been working for for all of these months.

• "mmm, feels good?" he hummed into you, sending shock waves that only added to the feeling.

• "ye- yes," you strained out, trying to hold back.

• "you like it when i eat you out, huh?" he pulled off just long enough to give you a short smirk. something about his tone almost caused you to convulse on the spot. you were fighting back the urge to throw your knees together entirely.

• "yes," you whined now, grinding down onto his tongue as you went. you wanted so badly to let go.

• "mmm, are you gonna cum for me?" his voice rang out, darker now.

• you reflexively bucked your hips. this was exactly what you needed to spiral. you felt your toes begin to tingle, preparing to lose yourself.

• "yes, -fuck!" you arched a bit, feeling a particularly sharp jolt. "fuck, i'm gonna cum, i'm gonna cum-"

• "no you're not," he stated, fixated on your pussy with his lips still attached. "need you to keep going. cum when i tell you to."

• your eyes shot open. no? what did he mean no? you knew you weren't going to be able to hold it back. this was a side of changbin you'd never seen before.

• as the sensation built, a tear started to build up in the corner of your eye. this was too good. too too good. your legs were beginning to shake already. this was getting to be too much.

• as changbin's eyes came up to connect with yours, you were sure you were gone. you quickly threw one hand down to his hair, pushing his face further into you, while the other hand gripped tightly to the blanket next to you. you watched the tiny smirk in his gaze as you threw yourself down onto him.

• "please, please," you moaned, louder than you'd intended. "please, i'm gonna cum. i have- have to."

• "mmm? you've never had someone be this good to you before?" was all that he responded with, sending the vibrations along with it.

• "please," you cried. "please, i-- OH FUCK," you yelled one last time.

• the joints in your hand began to ache, giving in to the pressure put on it from bunching into the cushions around you.

• this was it. whatever he said, you weren't going to be able to hold it off any more. this was all you could take.

• noticing your shift, changbin smiled. "you can cum now, princess." his tongue returned once more to your clit, holding his lips taut to you. "cum on me right now," he ordered.

• finally, you were able to relish in the quick bolts that were shooting up from the bottoms of your feet and into your core.

• you couldn't stop yourself from yelling out, sending changbin into doing the same

• moans sang out in choirs, each hitting its note precisely as instructed. your hips moved accordingly, trying to ride out your full high, but trembling in the process.

• this was bliss. pure and utter euphoria like you'd never experienced before. in a jolt of a moment, your neck shivered, feeling a tingle working it's way up your spine. and before you knew it, your brain caught up to the feeling, blanking out and turning to static.

• your body reflexively arched, losing control of itself entirely. it was now a slave to the feeling that changbin was giving you. your body reacted to him like he was the only man in the world. and maybe now, to you, he was.

• fighting to finally throw yourself off of him, you wanted to cry. you never knew it could feel this good- so all consuming, so deep. to feel totally and completely taken care of.

• it was then, in your shaking, quivering state that you realized that a few tears had actually been spilled out. you took deep breaths, wiping your eyes as quickly as you could.

• as your mind slowly started to return, you couldn't believe what you'd just experienced. your body was spent. your brain was spent. you didn't know what you could possibly say or do at this point. it's as if you weren't even in the world.

• changbin snaked himself up slowly, wrapping his arms around yours in an attempt to sooth you. "was it okay?" he asked, the tiniest bit of pride in his voice.

• you couldn't help but to laugh in response. "yeah," you blinked as you sniffled. "yeah, i think it was okay."

---------------------

✨ if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, and/or re-blogging <3

✨ i promise y'all, one day i will figure out which formatting i like the best & then i will stick to it. i have problems 😭

[callahanisms]

all you need is more radaway

save a horse. ride a cowboy. ;)

anyways i really loved the tv show and i love the game. and ghouls are just chef's kiss. or maybe that's because i love monsters. sad that i finished it so quickly. :(

perhaps i can put what i learned in my western class to good use lol

character: cooper howard aka. the ghoul

it's never easy surviving the wasteland. you don't know how you managed to survive for this long. perhaps because you seemed to have been blessed with incredible luck.

and building up endurance, of course.

you felt little to no side effects from the radiation of the food you were eating. which just meant you had a lot of radaway and rad-x stocked up.

to make ends meet, though, you had to start hunting. scavenging and scrapping by wasn't enough. you needed the extra caps.

thus your rivalry with another bounty hunter was born.

"well, well. aren't you far from home, sweetheart?"

you were used to comments about your outfit. a vault suit. yes, you came from one. you had been exiled after your father was revealed to be managing the experiment behind it. the child pays for the sins of the father always.

"you're not the first and you won't be the last." you pull the head off the body as clean as possible.

"now i don't know if you should do that."

"and why not?"

a bullet flies past you and burrows itself into the ground. you finally look up. a cowboy hat. the face of a ghoul. his gun pointing right at you.

but you weren't afraid.

"because he's my target." he pulls out a piece of paper. "and he's mine."

"seems unfair if i did all the work. and you just collect his head and the prize." you pull out the same piece of paper. yours is a little more worn out though. and covered in dried blood.

"that's the way of the wasteland sweetheart."

"if you believe so."

your hands were fast. two bullets lodged into his right left and when he looks up, you're gone.

of course, you learned from the best: western holotapes. you really liked them when you were growing up. claimed to want to be a lone hero.

in some ways, you were. the wasteland was just a new version of the wild west, wasn't it?

"spaghetti? like...the pasta?"

more like spaghetti western. he knew that, of course. but no one in the wasteland knew what a spaghetti western was. they were remnants of a past long gone and one only accessible by holotapes in the vaults.

"that's their name." the person says. "why? you have business with them?"

"perhaps." the ghoul was looking to return a favor.

"don't even try. they're far more formidable than you think."

"we'll see about that."

your rivalry was an exchange of bullets, more often than not. thankfully, you always stocked up on bloodbags and could make a stimpack from your heavy (but useful) travel chemistry kit. you were smart like that.

surprisingly, it became something to look forward. mostly because the ghoul preferred if he tried killing you, so he managed to get you out of a tough situation by killing the other people trying to kill you.

and you returned the favor. there was something satisfying about lodging a bullet into him again.

unfortunately, this left you two stuck on a job once. captured by raiders. you had been knocked out with a drug. and he had collapsed from...something.

"fuck." you mutter, pulling at the ropes binding you. your luck had run out for the day it seems, because your arms were tied to the ghoul's around this godforsaken pole. the metal was also uncomfortably rubbing up against your skin.

"you got a knife or anything sharp?" he looks over at you. it's rare to see him without his cowboy hat. his head was rather smooth.

you chuckle a little.

"something funny?" the ghoul asks.

"nothing. you're just...shaped like an egg."

"very funny."

"let me guess. your answer is no?"

"i don't have a knife up my sleeve, sadly. think they took it."

"shame." the ghoul shimmies something out of his own sleeve. he flicks the blade out and begins sawing at the rope. "watch your fingers."

you keep your fingers tucked in. eventually, the rope on your wrists comes undone and one arm soon after. the rest comes off and you rub your skin. "fuck these guys. always hated raiders."

"well, we both got sold out. we need to find that thing now. or else we'll be dead by sunrise." he tugs on the door of the jail cell and clicks his tongue.

"i don't have sharp objects. but i do have these." you pull out the bobby pin taped on the inside of your sleeve, alongside a mini screwdriver.

the lock wasn't very complicated, so you picked it with ease.

as you both are grabbing your equipment, you hear footsteps up above. light ones and heavier ones. and the sound of a muffled, altered, robotic voice.

the brotherhood of steel was worse than raiders, honestly.

"you go left, i go right. how does that sound?"

"i don't usually like taking orders from my rivals." he reloads his gun. "but for you? sure."

the event left the both of you soaked in the blood of your enemies. on the other hand, you guys left with plenty of loot and an idea of where your target was: dead. at the bottom of a lake.

it was a journey to get there, wherein you learned the details of each other's lives. you didn't think he was paying much attention to your sentences. after all, you came from a vault.

and yet, you saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

he seemed less keen on sharing details about his life, aside from his former name. cooper howard.

undeniably, as a fan of westerns, you recognized his names. from the holotapes.

"they had those?" cooper shakes his head, taking sips of water. "no way."

"yes way! it's where i learned to shoot."

"from watching my movies?"

"yes!"

"that is...a pleasant surprise." cooper leans back.

"that also makes you over 200 years old."

"that it does. something wrong with that?"

"no. the wasteland changes people." you maintain your attention to your suit, sewing a tear up. "just...you're looking for something, aren't you? everyone's always looking for something up here."

"are you looking for something?" his voice hardens and he sits up straight.

"i was. and then i found it. and i stopped." you tie the thread to seal the stitch and then tear the thread with your teeth. "i hope you find what you're looking for though."

"well, that's awfully kind of you, sweetheart."

"i have a name, you know."

"what is it?"

"(y/n)."

getting personal in the wasteland was something cooper wasn't adamant about. but the circumstances seems to call for it.

"guess we're even now."

the body of water was daunting. it was murky and dark. you pursed your lips and dumped your bag. "well. guess we have no choice."

cooper looks over at you then quickly turns around when he sees what you're doing: taking off your suit and going down to your underwear. "what are you doing?"

"i'm going to go get that head. that's how we get paid, right? easy three thousand caps. 15 hundred split evenly." you stretch.

"i think you might die."

"i'll be fine. i've done it before." Aquaperson perk.

"i can also swim, you know."

"i'll be fine cooper." you pop a rad-x pill just in case. "be back in a bit."

you dive like a swan, making minimal splash into the water. your form disappears beneath the darkness.

you're gone beneath the water for over an hour. cooper's heart was beating against his rib cage. you should be out by now. it should not be that hard. did something get you? things lurked beneath the murky waters always.

"fuck!"

he drops his equipment and begins stripping down, until he is just in his pants. he would need to dive after you. if you were dead, then so be it. it was fun while it lasted.

suddenly, you emerge. you take in the oxygen of the surface and hold the head up high. "got 'em." you swim over to the shore and walk out of the water.

there was something about how...wet you were that got him feeling hot and bothered.

"something happen down there?"

"couple of mirelurks. no big deal. which reminds me." you set the head on the ground and go back into the water. within minutes, you're pulling out the bodies of the mirelurks you had killed. "dinner."

while cutting the mirelurks open, you observe the way he walks around you. his muscles bulging a little as he cuts a mirelurk open and takes the meat. he was kind of...attractive?

"were you going to come after me?" he stops cutting hearing your question. "in the water, i mean."

"so what if i did?" cooper averts his eyes.

"that's sweet of you. i didn't know you had a soft spot for me."

"i don't."

"sure." you can tell he was lying through his teeth.

dinner was a nice, cozy meal. it was delicious. a nice surprise considering the nature of the wasteland.

cooper notices the way you're looking at him. and he looks at you the same way.

though how does this work exactly?

"do you want to..." you try to find a decent way to say this. fuck is a good term. but it felt a little vulgar in the moment.

cooper already knows what you're asking. "absolutely. if you can handle it." he smirks.

it's so cute when he smirks.

you glance over at your bag, looking at your stash of radaway. you had plenty. plus your stash of rad-x too.

"i absolutely can."

[tacowacco]

deceit's new favorite

shadow milk cookied x gender neutral reader

cw: mentions of mind breaking, heavy posessive behavior, implied forced relationship, and potential ooc.

my request is open, therefore requests are heavily appreciated and encouraged!

As you entered the Spire of Shadows, an eerie sensation coursed through your body. Inside, there were endless halls that seemed to stretch on forever, and stairs that appeared to have no beginning or end. Chaos awaited you in this unsettling place. Some might even argue that it felt like a never-ending nightmare—akin to one meant for cookies instead.

The outcome of your arrival at the beast-yeast became far worse than you'd ever imagined. Just within hours of stepping into the domain of the Beast of Deceit, you managed to find yourself lost in the unfamiliar terrain. You hurriedly searched for an exit, desperate to reunite with your friends.

You were certain that you had found an escape, but to your surprise was another pair of endless halls filled with trickery and lies. You took a moment to sit down and catch your breath after what felt like hours of searching. 

“Oh, my! Well, isn’t this just a lovely surprise?~ One of little Silly Vanilly’s pals all lost, and alone?” the jester cooed, as he stepped forward and his mismatched eyes met with yours. 

Shadow Milk yearned to shatter Pure Vanilla and witness his slow descent into madness and despair. He wanted to see the truth and hope he cherished so much deeply crumble. He'd ensure to sever the delicate thin thread that Pure Vanilla was holding so dearly to by toying with you. By immersing yourself completely in his world, you find yourself captivated, consumed by an overwhelming admiration that borders on obsession. Only focusing on him, the main character. He’d make sure to make you forget about these pesky side characters. 

You were now in his possession, his pawn to use for his advantage. 

“Now what’s with the looooooong face? Not thrilled to see me?” he purred.

“Hmph! This isn’t a part of the script, looks like I’ll have to make some adjustments and alterations. Alas, that’s what improv is for!” he exclaimed while flipping through his script— schemes, filled with theatrical mischief. 

"You'll be the most exciting addition to my prized collection! It's been so long since I've had a new puppet to cherish. Even better, I'll make you the star of my new show!" Your eyes widen as you feel your muscles tense up. 'Prized collection? Most exciting addition? New puppet?' What did he mean by that?

“C’mon, we’ve got a show to prepare for, and an audience to amuse!” Shadow Milk said excitedly in a singsongy voice.

-----

You sat in the front row of the audience and watched as the red velvet curtains opened, revealing the first act of Shadow Milk's puppet show. The stage lights dimmed before focusing on the center of the stage, casting a spotlight over the cutout puppets.

“Once upon a time, long long ago there was a very beautiful cookie called ‘Y/n cookie’! Unfortunately, they were focused too on that stupid soul jam-thief pure vanilla.” Shadow Milk said, irritated once mentioning Pure Vanilla.

"Fortunately for dear Y/n, a cookie so dignified, very sophisticated, and—not to mention extremely handsome appeared...

ME! The one and only, shadow milk cookie appeared to save Y/n!" Shadow Milk exclaimed. 

The brainwashed audience began to erupt into applause and enthusiastic clapping, creating a wave of energy that enveloped you. You started blinking rapidly in an attempt to adjust to the bright, scorching spotlight that blinded you. 

"Since dear Y/n was SOOO grateful that I, Shadow Milk cookie, saved them from Pure Vanilla..they decided to become my newest puppet!” Shadow Milk enthusiastically said, as his glowing mismatched eyes met with yours.

a/n: first post! currently writing instead sleeping.. (it's 11:51PM on a school night)

likes, reblogs, etc. are highly appreciated :))! thank you lovelies

[innerfare]

Shanks Relationship Headcanons 

Summary: A random collection of Shanks relationship headcanons

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

———

Shanks can’t stand you at first. You get under his skin without even trying. Worse still, you don’t take his bait- you don’t bicker with him, you don’t argue, but you also don’t laugh at his jokes, and it drives him absolutely insane. He’s never met anyone he couldn’t drag down to his level and he doesn’t know what to do about that. 

You also rebuff his advances initially, and he panics because nobody rebuffs his advances. He could bed Akainu if he wanted to, he’s certain of it, so why can’t he bed you? He becomes consumed by his desire to have you, not just in his bed but in his company more generally, eating at his table and sharing a drink and some gossip with him. 

He never shuts up about you, constantly complaining to Beckman, who realizes what is going on almost immediately. Beckman doesn’t bother trying to illuminate Shanks as to the annoying predicament that is love, just laughs to himself.  

Starts writing down and rehearsing his absolute best material before he sees you. When you don’t laugh, he becomes convinced you’re withholding your laughter just to be mean to him. He almost blows a gasket when Lucky Roux tells him, “you know, Captain, maybe your sense of humor just isn’t for everyone.” 

This eventually culminates in him blowing up and kissing you one night. To his utter surprise, you kiss him back. From that point forward, the two of you are going steady, which is uncharted territory for Shanks. 

When he does finally identify your sense of humor, it’s one of his proudest moments. He’s merciless from that point forward, drawing as many laughs from your lips as possible. He'll even resort to tickling you just to hear that musical sound.

To his surprise, you relationship quickly becomes his temple. You’re the person he’s actually serious with, the person with whom he shares his fears and ambitions, with whom he is raw and vulnerable. When he has nightmares, you’ll be the one to comfort him, and when he has doubts, you’ll be the one to reassure him. 

There’s much more to him than meets the eye. He isn’t just a drunken layabout or a prankster, but a complex man with great ambition, and the foundation of your relationship is your ability to unravel these complexities. 

That being said, if he does eventually make you a little less mature, a little more petty, a little more childish, he’ll view it as one of his greatest victories. 

So dramatic. Tells you things like, “I would cease to exist if we were parted,” and, “you fill in the cracks in my soul,” and he means them 100%. Naturally you don’t realize he means them 100% until you find yourself in a life-threatening situation and he drops literally everything to rescue you, apologizing profusely for allowing a hair on your head to be harmed. It’s in that moment you realize the gravity of receiving the affection of an Emperor. 

Brings you flowers, usually a bundle of cheap supermarket flowers with a lot of different colors (he can't actually identify any of the flowers but thought they were pretty). He’s the sort to throw rocks at your window and serenade you with a guitar (he’ll sing but he’s bad at it), but only after you’re in a relationship so it makes you laugh more than it makes you swoon. 

Will order Beckman to reroute the crew’s course so far out of their way it’s comical because he wants you to try a restaurant on an island he visited a decade ago because they served your favorite food in a unique and delicious way; naturally when you get there the restaurant has closed. Shanks makes it up to you with a bowl of ramen, though. 

Got you a massive stuffed strawberry from a carnival (he lost the game but stole the prize anyway when the carnie wasn’t looking, delinquent ass boyfriend), gets very upset if he walks into your room and it’s not on your bed. Now likes to call you strawberry. Other nicknames include red panda or just panda and even my sake cup. Also refers to you in conversation as the crown jewels. 

Tipsy walks down the beach at night, your fingers intertwined, that end with him chasing you through the shallows, catching you in his arms, and spinning you around. He loves a good came of chase, or even hide and seek. Also, strip poker. 

Would never admit it, but he’s often the little spoon. He’ll collapse on top of you after a night of drinking with the boys. Also, he can’t fall asleep without a fistful of something, and since the two of you became an item, that something is usually your hair or shirt (at least to keep it SFW 😉). 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[elizabethsnuts]

winterwidows daughter having a full blown argument with Tony bcs only Tony would argue with a 3 year old

Toddler Showdown

WinterWidow x Daughter!Reader

Summary: You get into a fight with your Uncle Tony

———

The storm raged outside of the Avengers Tower, Tony and Y/N sat on the floor of the Avengers Lounge, drawing pictures and chatting. It didn’t take long for an argument to break out.

You stood her ground, hands on your hips, glaring up at Tony with all the determination you could muster. "No, Uncle Tony! I want the red crayon, not the blue one!" you declared, your tiny voice carrying surprising authority.

Tony raised an eyebrow, amused yet undeterred by the pint-sized challenger before him. "Well, Y/N, you see, the thing is, the blue crayon matches your eyes much better," he countered, his trademark smirk playing on his lips.

You scrunched up her face, unimpressed. "I don't care about my eyes, Mr. Fancy Pants. I want the red one!" you insisted with a yell, your tone dripping with sass.

Tony sighed, leaning down to your level and speaking with an irritated down. "Listen, kid, I've got a whole collection of Stark Industries crayons here, and trust me, the red one is so last season. You're better off with the blue. It's more... avant-garde."

You narrowed your eyes, unyielding. "Stop using big words, Uncle Tony! No one cares about your avo-garden!" you retorted, an annoyed and angry glint dancing in your eyes.

Tony shook his head, his huffing blending with the amused chuckles of nearby Avengers who had gathered to witness the spectacle. "Hey Y/N, that’s not nice, you can’t speak to me that way. I’m older and you are three therefore, you listen to me," he said in a tone that said he was done with the situation, he started taking her the red crayon with a gentle tug. "Mark my words, one day you'll appreciate the finer things in life."

You snatched back the crayon with a victorious grin, your triumph was evident on your face and proudly displayed as you showed your prize to your parents, who watched with equal parts amusement and pride.

Natasha and Bucky exchanged amused glances, impressed at their daughter's feisty spirit. "Looks like she takes after both of us," Natasha remarked, her eyes twinkling with affection.

Bucky chuckled and knelt down to your level. "Did you take that from Uncle Tony?" he asked nodding towards Tony, who was now standing up, shaking his head and crossing his arms.

You nodded your head with a proud smile. “Yes, Daddy! I got the red!” You cheered with an excitement only a toddler could have about a crayon.

You ran back over to Tony and stuck your tongue out at him. “I got the reddd! I got the reddd!” You said in a teasing voice and giggled as you sat back down at the table.

However, the arguments were far from over as you both engaged in a lively debate about the merits of finger painting versus crayon drawing.

As the argument raged on, Natasha and Bucky couldn't smirk from their spot on the couch, they knew it was just harmless arguments that wouldn’t affect each other's bond but they couldn’t help but admit they were always amusing to watch.

[bluemantics]

ficlet giveaway prize for @yuutsunaoi of klance "struggling to adjust with their new roles as the red and black paladin." i hope you enjoy!

Shiro was gone, and everything was going incredibly wrong.

"Pidge, go to sleep."

"I can find him."

"I'm serious. You need to sleep."

"You can't tell me what to do, Keith, you're not my mom."

"We need you well-rested for Voltron, and I'm the Black Paladin--"

"Isn't he your brother? Do you even want him back?"

Lance groaned, pinching his nose as he leaned against the wall. He had positioned himself just outside the Castleship's living room after he saw Keith go in, worried that the temperamental fighter would offend their youngest teammate. Lo and behold, it hadn't even taken two minutes before the two started to clash.

While Lance could appreciate how they normally melded, he knew that Shiro's... vanishing would trigger fight-or-flight responses in both of them. Honestly, it was a miracle that Keith hadn't spirited off to some random planet on a panic-induced sabbatical. Or maybe the true miracle was that Pidge hadn't ripped Keith's face off, he wondered, as he walked through the door and took in the scene before him.

Pidge had jumped on top of the couch, face contorted in anger, hands balled at her sides. Her computer was lying forgotten beside her feet. Facing her, Keith was entirely red, thick eyebrows pulled down in distinct rage. At least, that was what he wanted Pidge to think.

It was easy for Lance to note the glimmer of hurt in his eyes. Yeah, that comment about Shiro had definitely landed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Lance called out, raising his arms. Instantly, both heads whipped to face him, expressions unchanged. "Let's back it up, guys."

Keith straightened up and crossed his arms. "It's fine. Pidge just needs to listen."

"I swear to god," Pidge seethed, "I will tear your stupid hair off your stupid head."

Okay, Lance was always in support of a hair insult when it came to Keith, but he had to stop this.

"No one is ripping anyone's hair. Pidge, I admire what you're doing here. Really, I do," Lance began, gesturing to the computer. "No one else on the team can sort through all the data you're collecting from the lion and the Galrans."

"I know. That's why I have to keep working," she snapped. Lance approached her slowly.

"Okay, but what if I told you that's the reason you need to slow down?"

"That makes no sense." Pidge looked curious, though, and a soft smile pulled at Lance's lips. He'd caught her on the hook easily. Unlike the others, Pidge couldn't be persuaded with placating words or niceties. No, what she needed was a little bit different.

"Logically, humans can't operate at capacity for 24 hours straight. We don't have the brainpower." He knocked on his own head to demonstrate, aware of Keith's eyes fixating on his every movement. Good. Maybe he could take something out of this. "Brains need time to breathe, Pidgey."

"I know that," she huffed, but her eyes softened slightly.

"So, if you know that, you know you're likely not an exception." Lance reached over to her computer and plucked it up, closed the lid, and held it out to her. His heart melted a little at her frown. Pidge was far too young to be losing her family and Shiro at the same time, much less being burdened with their rescues. "You'll find him. I know you will. But you're gonna make a mistake or miss something if you aren't in tip-top shape while you search."

Hesitantly, Pidge's hand darted forward to pull her computer to her chest. Hugging it to herself tightly, she looked between Lance and Keith, apprehensive yet seeming more open than before. Finally, she gave Lance a sharp nod. It wasn't long before she jumped down from her perch and stomped out of the room, the automatic doors swishing shut behind her. Keith let out a sound that sounded like a mix between a sigh of relief and a groan.

"I'm shit," he mumbled, wiping his hands down his face. A chuckle pulled out of Lance's throat.

"A little bit," Lance agreed, turning to face Keith with amusement clear on his face. His lighthearted mood died down, though, when Keith moved to sit on the couch, elbows braced against his knees as he slumped over. "Oh, hey, buddy."

"I can't do this, Lance."

"What? Force Pidge to sleep?" Lance quickly took a seat at Keith's right, crossing an ankle over his knee.

"All of it," Keith muttered. His deep eyes looked thoughtful and weary as they stared straight ahead, fixed on nothing. "People wanted to listen to Shiro. Sure, sometimes they'd disagree, but they eventually came around. They trusted him to know more. I trusted him."

"Hmm," Lance nodded, thinking back. Keith wasn't lying; following Shiro had been natural. He was older, experienced, and had a solid balance of intimidation and empathy. "So you don't feel like you've got that same respect as Black Paladin?" Keith let out a broken laugh, shaking his head.

"Why would they listen to me? I'm a mess. I didn't exactly hide that."

"No, that's not it," Lance pressed. "They just don't think you understand them."

"I don't. They're right."

"Well, you can try," Lance said, gears turning in his head quickly. "Tonight was a good example. Pidge is angry, kinda like you, about a lot of stuff, but especially about losing control. She feels like she's entirely out of control with the loss of Shiro and all the changes in our lions."

Keith was watching Lance, now, eyebrows raised at his explanation. Hopefully, that was an invitation to continue. "So, meet her where she is. Relate to her. Explain things how she'd want to hear it, not in the way you think Shiro would."

"I'm not good at that," Keith responded, shifting uncomfortably. His hands twitched where they rested. "You do that shit way better."

"Well, then, I guess I'll just have to help you. Which is literally my job, by the way." Lance's hand moved between the two of them as he spoke. "I can help you meet them where they are, help them feel seen. I'll show you their communication styles. I promise, it isn't as hard as it seems."

"Okay," Keith agreed, unsure but still affirmative.

"But you have to help me, too. This is a partnership."

"A partnership?" Keith snorted in disbelief. "You hate working with me off the battlefield. You called me stupid at least five times in the last month."

Lance scoffed, waving the notion away. "Well, I'm a mature adult, so I can put aside my qualms with you despite your tragically dramatic hangups." That drew an actual laugh from Keith, oddly enough, sparking little butterfly flaps in Lance's stomach. Weird.

"What do you need?" Keith asked through the slight upward tilt of his lips. Shaking his head, Lance snapped back to their conversation.

"Teach me to fight."

"Fight?" Keith tilted his head. "You're our sharpshooter, though. You shouldn't need to do hand-to-hand." While that acknowledgment pleased him, Lance rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but clearly I'm occupying some different shoes now." He shrugged. "I need to be ready to fill any gaps on the team, now, with one of our close-range guys out of the picture. Plus, I can't always expect that the battles won't come to me, even if you guys try to protect me."

Without pause, Keith sat up, leaning toward Lance. His eyes bore into Lance's with an intensity and fire expected out of the former Red Paladin. "You'll take it seriously?"

A pang struck Lance's gut. "Obviously. I'm insulted you'd ask."

"Fine, then. It's a deal."

"It's a partnership," Lance reminded him, elbowing his side. A grunt of affirmation sounded from Keith, who shoved Lance away with an arm. Letting the momentum carry him, Lance flopped down onto the couch with a pleased sigh.

The whole team had been struggling recently, not just Lance and Keith. Pidge was staying up to run data on Black. Allura spent overtime poring over diplomatic records and contacting foreign planets. Hunk struggled to tamp down on his anxieties during group discussion, nausea clear on his face. Even Coran was less chipper and more focused than before.

But, just maybe, if Keith and Lance could lead the way, the others would fall in step. Together, they could... make it easier. Okay, even.

That was only his privately held theory, though. Voicing it aloud was unthinkable.

"Bedtime?" he suggested to Keith.

"Training," Keith shot back, heaving himself to his feet and yanking the couch cushion out from under Lance. Crashing to the floor with a yelp, Lance stared up at Keith, rubbing his leg.

"Ow, dude!"

"I'll meet you at the training deck in ten minutes. Get changed and grab water."

Lance smirked at his retreating back and shoved himself upright.

Yeah, they'd be fine.

[neoplatinum]

til' death do us part - part 1 | minatozaki sana

summary: sana minatozaki walks right into your life with a marriage license.

pairing: heiress!sana x reader

themes: arranged marriage au, fluff, angst, tension, lots of elitism, conglomerate power-hungry side characters, implied sex

wc: 5.0k

(series masterlist)

"the minatozaki's are waiting." you stare at the contract in front of you, frustrated at the idea of the family visiting. they sent the contract to you two weeks ago, and you knew that they were expecting a response, as in a signature. but here lays the contract on your coffee table, left to collect dust.

"let them in." you sit up from the couch, adjusting your shirt. you watch the maid let them in, timed steps in the long marble hallway. you hear their presence before you see them. then you see the matriarch of the minatozaki family step into the room. her head held high and proper, like a leader.

she reminds you of your own mother: the sharp tongue, quick judgements, and inability to let go of grudges.

then walks in sana minatozaki, the only heiress of the minatozaki group. she is not a stranger at all, but you havent decided if she is a friend or foe. when you were both younger, annual balls were centered around her. she always took those events in stride, while you enjoyed sticking by your mother's side.

you often remember watching sana dancing with anyone who would ask her; even from afar, you knew she was someone that everyone awed at. they treated her attention like a prize worth attaining.

"hello mrs. minatozaki and ms. minatozaki, please have a seat." you direct them to sit on the opposing couch. "how may i help you?"

they both get situated while you sit by yourself, feeling the weight of the minatozaki power firsthand. you watch your staff rushing to present them with tea, only for the two to dismiss them quickly.

"yes, we sent over a contract earlier last week, please sign it." the matriach points at the contract on your table.

"yes well, it is a marriage contract, a legally binding one. i need time to think it through."

"what is there to think through? you get to marry into the minatozaki group, and solidify your business with the backings of our family, i see no reason that it's empty now."

you frown at that, those were the exact words your own father told you over the phone, you called him immediately after receiving the contract, he told you the same exact thing, ending the call immediately after.

you dont disagree with the benefits, you would just rather marry someone else. someone that you could be in love with, not sana minatozaki.

"mrs. minatozaki, as much as i understand the power and backing of your family. i am rather old-fashioned. i only believe in marriage out of love." you nod solemnly to the older woman.

she lets out a trained laugh and holds her daughter's hands like they're her prize and tool. "love? you don't think that you could love my daughter?"

"mrs. minatozaki, i didn't mean it in that way-"

"so, what way did you mean it? my daughter sana," you say, watching as her daughter stands up from the couch, tall and proud, just like her mother, and smiling at you in that coy smile. "she has a line of suitors far longer than you could imagine; you should reconsider."

"mrs. minatozaki' please if i may-"

she holds her palm up, completely stopping you from speaking. "enough. here's what we're going to do: a three-month commitment. truly court my daughter for three months, and if you can honestly tell me you aren't in love with her, then i won't bother you with this matter for any longer."

"mrs. minatozaki, i think this is a completely archaic idea!" you exclaim, shocked to hear her say these plans. how quick she is to decide for her daughter's life.

"watch your tone. do not forget that your mother and I are well acquainted." she points her finger at you, and in a split second, she's back to that trained smile that is always so unnerving and threatening.

"i'm very sorry mrs. mintatozaki, please forgive my rudeness." you bow deeply at the woman. you return to your trained demeanor, letting mrs. minatozaki run your life for the next three months. who knows what she'll say to your mother if you decline?

both women get up promptly at the matriarch's signal, and you rush to walk them out of the manor. their resounding footsteps echo through the halls. the matriarch continues speaking of the three months of "dating," and you nod at every word in appeasement.

you assist them into their car, and soon they speed away from your manor. leaving you frustrated in your own driveway. by the time the sun has set, you finally return to your room.

--

the thought doesn't bother you anymore, while you were nervous at the idea of the minatozaki's pressing you on this marriage, you had gotten way too swamped with work.

in a week's time since the visit, you were giving a big presentation to shareholders and clientele. countless nights spent languidly going through the motions of collecting data for infographics and reports to extrapolate data. all part of your stressful day job.

a job that you take pride in, to take over the family business. dedicating years of your life to build the rapport needed for your father to put the company in your name.

you begin to wrap up on your final slide, indicating the prosperous quarter that your company has been seeing. beautiful graphics that display profit margins through the roofs. in every chair of that conference room sat a wide smile at your future projections.

"we expect to see a projection of 33% from our previous annual profits, along with more assets, and with the likes of a possible acquisition, this company will continue to flourish. thank you all for today." you conclude your presentation and smile to the many shareholders. they all stand and applaud you; you take a deep bow and shake hands.

the shareholders hound you, all gathered around in suits that costed more than the average house. they only bowed to the sound of money dropping into their pockets. so they push you, push your boundaries of how much you'll let them take.

mr. seki has always been the most persistent, asking for more money than he knew how to spend. so he stands before you, eyes twinkling and his grubby hands rubbing together like he found a gold mine.

you listen to him speak of the golden days with your father, business had little to regulations, making money was easier than breathing, but now he breaths down your neck for bonuses. the words travel in one ear and out the other, he forgets that you were a young child listening in to his discussions with your father.

before you know it, you hear that sharp clicking sound, the sound of sharp hard rubber hitting the tiled floor, you hear heels. short confident steps of a woman, and then you see it through the frosted glass, a womanly figure.

she's walking right into the conference room. then you notice the details: long brunette hair in waves, branded sunglasses atop her nose, a light pink suit adorned with blinding diamonds. behind her are bodyguards that tower over everyone. everyone's conversation stops at the sight of her, she stops right in front of you.

eyes strong and daring, she slips off her glasses and you recognize her, the woman of all your friend's dreams: sana minatozaki. more confident than ever, not being guided by her mother, she smiles that smile that you know your friends swoon over. delicate fingers slip off her glasses as she hands them to her assistant. eyes still focused on yours.

then she does it, grabs ahold of your tie, and slams her lips against yours. and you can hear it faintly, the sound of the shareholders all gasping, drowned out by the sound of your own heartbeat. the searing kiss lasts so long, like a time loop. when she pulls back, you gasp for air, choking and doubling over coughing like you inhaled chili powder. all your presentation material spilling on the ground.

"sorry to cut the festivities short, gentlemen." she bows lightly, an amused smile underlying her sarcasm. "my fiancé and i have things to attend to, i'm sure you know how demanding your wife can be". she giggles at that, letting them all nod, and disperse.

"fiancé?" you cough out, still catching your breath. sana grabs ahold of your hand and drags you out the conference room, and out to the elevators. you watch her two bodyguards at your feet, ready to intervene with broad and thick builds.

they remind you much of your father's bodyguards. but you never wanted them because it just felt so unnatural to be followed by men who protected you.

sana stands before the elevator, and without missing a beat walks in, at the sound of the door opening. you get pulled by the two bodygaurds into the box. now you stand next to a smirking sana and two men who could break your spine ten times over.

you exit into the lobby, all the staff rising to their feet at the sight of you and miss minatozaki. greeting you all, as you rush to follow after sana. you have a sinking feeling if you don't that those two men behind you are going to toss you right into the ocean. right outside of the lobby, is the sight of the signature black marked sedan. a true sign of a minatozaki. like the fortress of a family, this car is far than capable of withstanding a nuke, how true this statement is? you never want to know.

sana is quick to sit herself inside, being guided by her chaffeur. you nod to him before sitting inside, seperated by the middle seat. the door closes and suddenly you feel claustrophobic.

the last time you spoke to sana was years ago, back in law school, you never did like her clique but they were everywhere. so you have interacted with her through case studies and presentations, steering clear of the intimidating minatozaki group. so much for avoiding them, now you're stuck in a car with the exact person you were avoiding all your life.

"mother is furious." she comments, grabbing her heels off her feet, tucking them into a compartment. you stare at her for a while, confused with what she means. "well?"

"miss minatozaki, i thin-"

"sana. just sana please." she corrects you.

"miss sana, please, you cannot barge into my shareholder meetings and attack me like that. that was unacceptable on all levels." you continue. loosening the tie that felt like it was choking you when she grabbed it. you slip it off your neck and into your pocket.

"i thought mother made it clear her expectations. you sign that marriage license, and we're good." she continues to correct you, disregarding your frustrations.

"sana. i apologize but i have been swamped with work, i cannot even begin to think about marriage." you complain.

"work? you marry into the minatozaki group and you'll never lift a finger. those infographics you put together were cute, but the minatozaki's never put themselves through work they can pass off to others. marry in, and we'll find a suitable ceo the second you say so." she is everything you stand against, a figurehead as the ceo is the last thing you want for your budding company.

"i think you are mistaken, miss sana. this company is me, i am this company, that will not change if i marry into the minatozaki group." you don't waver for a second, conviction running through your blood.

she smiles at that, "you are one of those. the ones that are married to their work before anything else." she takes a second to contemplate this thought, what would you bring to the minatozaki group? profit, drama, not a headache that's for sure.

"i'm going to let you in on a secret," she leans her head towards you. "like how you are married to your work, i am married to wealth. doesn't matter if you have a million mistresses, or a thousand bastard babys. as long as you don't smear the minatozaki name, you will fit right in."

"i do not think so miss sana. the minatozaki's are adamant about blood purity, they don't let bastards live." you explain. she smirks at that, you've clearly done your research about the minatozaki clan. "miss sana, please, me marrying into your family would not beneficial to you. i am too concerned with my own self to be a pawn for your clan." you finish, hoping they will let this issue to rest.

"you seem to know a lot about our family for someone who isn't interested marrying in." her eyebrow shoots up and with the snap of a finger, the bodyguard hands her a manila folder through the slit of the window.

"once again, we urge you to sign this. i hope we become lifelong partners, fiancé." she winks and steps out of the car. speaking to the chauffeur, and soon you're being driven by the minatozaki car, another car ready for sana in an instant.

now you're left with a manila folder, weighing heavier than anything else in the world. when you are sit in your armchair with the manila folder, nursing a nice drink to unwind, you finally untie the manila folder. opening the contents, you find the same contract on your coffee table. signed with sana's signature in the bottom, and another paper.

in a written letter from your own father, you nearly crumple the paper in your own hand. the clauses of placing your company in the hands of your father, all shareholder signatures at the bottom. indicating the removal of power. in another line it reads in big bold letters, date sana for three months or your company will be absorbed by your father.

you call up your father.

"father, this is ridiculous, you cannot do this to my company. why are you meddling now?"

"you insolent child, given the opportunity to grow your business, you choose instead to be selfish? i present to you the opportunity of a lifetime: marriage into the minatozaki group. and i've been told you're pushing their patience." his deep voice rumbles into the phone. "my final words are these: you want your company so bad, prove that you are committed to the minatozakis, then i will transfer the power back." he firmly states.

"i don't even have the time, father. my schedule is busy with the new year and final changes with new clientele."

"i've already spoken to your assistant, all work for you the next three months have been transferred to my coo. he will take over for the time being, i trust him to run my own company, so don't you go spouting nonsense about his credibility." you bite your tongue at the sight. how dare your father meddle in your company? one that you built up with your own hands. the only piece of yourself that wasn't controlled by your father.

"do not forget who raised you. i can take everything away." his voice booms through the speakers. he ends the phone call there. and you throw that phone like a baseball, shattering the device into pieces.

--

so you do date sana for three months, finding it absolutely absurd in the beginning. often visiting her wherever she traveled. when she was busy, you would send out bouquets in your absence. you tried your best to date her, devoting time to getting to know her better. she's like you remembered when you were younger, loud rambunctious and had an eye for all things expensive. you spent trips all over the globe within those three months.

it's a strange feeling. letting yourself rest, you can't remember the last time you went on a vacation other than in law school. here you are, lying in a lounge chair on a private beach in santorini. drinking mai tais while you stare into the horizon. confused with your own life right now.

it should've been the merger. you get antsy just at the idea of your father's coo leading the merger, but what can you do. that company is not "yours" right now. while you are trying to enjoy the sight of the bright sun and clear waters, you watch out of the corner of your eye as sana flirts openly with a resort worker.

hand on his bicep, leaning in to show more cleavage, all the while keeping a sultry smile on her face. you're done letting your life be decided for you. you walk over.

"hi honey, how is it going?" you smile towards her, leaning in for a quick kiss. holding her neck in place, as you watch the man walk away. you let her go.

"jealous?" she smirks.

"no. i need answers." you sit down in front of her. "why me?"

"what do you mean why me?" she sips on her cosmopolitan, not provoked by the question.

"why marry me? my father is well known, but we are not a conglomerate group, why do you wish to marry me? i provide nothing to the minatozaki group, it doesn't make sense. there's the watanabe clan, the abe clan, the ito clan. i really don't understand why my family."

"it's not your father or his companies, it's you." she points at you. still sipping her drink. she doesn't skip a beat, no hesitation in her words.

"i hold no power on the world stage, you would be well off marrying any clan." you try reasoning with her, beyond perplexed on why she chose you.

"the watanabe clan are dirty: plagued with dirty lust, the abe clan are ruthless killers, the ito clan has been known to kill their woman. so tell me, how much better off i will be marrying them?" she continues. face hardened.

"i see...they are not as great as their name." you stare at her. less perplexed but definitely confused.

"we all grew up together, all the heirs, i know them better than they know themselves. and i do not like what i see. but you and i didn't speak to each other." she signals for another cosmopolitan, thanking the staff member and digging through her bag. pulling out photos of you two when you were children at the annual balls.

"you are worlds better than all of them combined. i could see it in the way you never vied for my attention. they all were intact dogs, hoping to hump something by the end of the night."

"sorry for the assumptions," you offer. the way she looks away from you, watching the ocean. and letting out a long and heavy sigh. she tucks the photos away. "so, marriage out of convenience? is that all this is?"

"yes." she nods.

you grab the contract from your bag, signing it in front of her. and then placing it in her hands, "to a happy marriage sana minatozaki, i hope you can handle my snoring." you laugh.

she grins at the contract, and tucks it into her bag. "then i hope you can handle my kicking. you groan jokingly and laugh loudly, her joining you.

--

minatozaki weddings were no joke. halls lined with marble pillars with gold accents. dishes made out of the finest and purest porecelin. waiters dressed in their finest, not a single hair out of place. global leaders and their children attending, even if they had no ties to the minatozaki.

the grandiose hall with beautiful mirrors dating centuries ago. recovered artifacts from the edo period, adorning the shelves. the giant minatozaki family crest on the back wall. with long tables lined with wedding gifts. you stand next to sana as the reception procession continues into the night. many notable figures congratulating the marriage. as well as the intricate gifts being handed off to you. each gift being placed and documented by the minatozaki security team.

the minatozakis look happy, wearing traditional kimonos and inviting all the guests to talk about their daughters marriage.

even though the place is filled with laughter and happiness, you can't help but feel like you just entered a loveless marriage. where you are destined to avoid sana, she smiles at everyone, showering in the attention, while you can't wait to get back to work.

--

you had explained to sana you wanted a quiet honeymoon, one that was peaceful and relaxing. so you both went puglia, to enjoy the rich Italian culture and the beautiful greens and blues of the water.

sana spent nearly ever second of the day buying herself clothes while enjoying pestering you. often times dragging you along to carry her bags, and be at her beck and call. she calls it "conditioning for a happy marriage." you had rolled your eyes when you heard it, but you wanted a happy marriage too so you complied.

now you stand in the middle of puglia, taking photos of sana, at her request. for the third time that day.

"how many photos do you need sana?"

"as many as i want. stop talking, more clicking!" you get back to taking photos and letting her enjoy the scenery. it's quite nice being with sana, she may be a bit high maintenance, but she doesn' t overstep when it comes to your boundaries. letting you enjoy your own alone time and venturing through the city alone.

sometimes you bring back flowers or a small gift to her, all of which she happily enjoys with a warm smile.

--

after the honeymoon, its back to the real world. in which your father happily returned the company back to you. the merger had been successful, but you're still catching up on paperwork that only you could sign. in the coming months, sana has moved in.

living together has become a routine. when she moved into your manor, she claimed it was a nice change from her home. you were confused because her house was far more amenities, but you let her move in.

so, every morning and night, you spend time with her, sleeping in the same bed, drinking the same coffee, and sitting at the same dining table. you don't share more than a few words with her, but her presence has become a nice addition to your life.

she's made herself comfortable, her makeup products all lining your sink, heels filling the floor of the closet. her closet so big that she ordered construction to build her own walk-in.

often times you see her out lounging in the sun room doing yoga or pilates. or when she's in a good mood, she'll join you in your study room to do work herself.

she goes out at night frequently, so you make it a habit to stay up until she gets home. you know she's protected and safe with her trained bodyguards and chauffeur.

it just brings you a sense of comfort to bring her inside in case she's unwell. some nights she gets home with love bites all over her body, other nights she comes home drunk falling into your arms. you never comment on it.

she comments on your life first.

"do you...have someone special in your life?" she asks with a glass of wine in hand. you look up from your table, eyeing her in the doorframe.

"no, i'm married to my job." you look back at the work laid out for you, pushing glasses back up the bridge of your nose.

"have you slept with a woman before?" you stop your work, putting the pen down.

"sana, are we asking about each other's sex lives now?"

"well i can be curious, cant i? you always look so proper." she walks in to sit by you.

"well, yes in the past i have." you comment, a little thrown off with the line of questions. she nods her head and gives you her wine, you sip it and place it on the desk. "why do you ask?"

"we've never consummated our marriage, don't you think it's time?" she leans over, eyeing the work on your paper.

"what happened to marriage out of convenience?"

"marriage out of convenience could mean we're sex partners out of convenience," she smirks. she stands up, pushing the paper off to the side. you raise your eyebrow, trying to get her to stop messing with your work.

"sana."

"yes?" she takes the glasses off your face. a coy smile on her lips.

"we don't have to do this."

"i want to. do you?" she stands in your way, eyes trained on yours. a playful smile on her face. you get up to set your mind straight, no way were you sleeping with your non-wife.

"sana, please, you must be drunk." you walk past her, calling out to staff. "hi, could you please assist sana to bed." sana scoffs at you, flipping you off and pushing past the maid.

you return to your desk, eyebrows pushed together and a headache forming. but you can feel that spike in your stomach, you're sexually frustrated.

--

you've been actively avoiding being too close with sana. whenever she circles around, you scoot further away. opting for open spaces where she won't make sexual advances. rejecting her isn't fun either, she gets all pouty about it, but the way she makes you feel lately, has been dangerous. so you try your best to exercise restraint.

in the coming weeks it's harder and harder. some days she visits with your dress shirts tucked into a pencil skirt. walking in like a wet dream into your office. you will yourself to have self control but you can feel it slipping. the way you want to grab her, feel her skin under your fingertips, wanting to wrap around her.

today she manages to get under your skin. "darling, you must be so tired." she slides behind you. and starts massaging your shoulders, pressing the knots away.

you let her, feeling the tension release from your shoulders. her hands move expertly, and soon you feel more relaxed than ever. her hands begin to wander, sliding over your torso and frame. you turn to look at her, playful eyes staring back at you. you pull her into your lap, grabbing her neck for a kiss.

"i think it would be rather impolite of me to have our first time here in my office. maybe later?" you offer, playing with her pencil skirt.

"i don't care where we do it, as long as we do it now." she smirks and plays with your hair. you pull her up and place her atop your desk. walking quickly to close the door and drop the blinds.

she laughs when push her back, back hitting the desk, and then you lean over her. giving her a long kiss, before sliding your hands up her legs.

"come take what yours." she grins. you begin unbuttoning her shirt, hands trailing down until they reach her hips.

you kiss her fervently, moving towards her like a magnet. "yes miss minatozaki."

--

you might have to label yourself a sex addict, maybe a sana minatozaki addict actually. after sleeping with sana, you can't keep your hands off of her. often messaging her and taking days off to be around her.

it's unlike you, so unfocused and nonchalant about work. but you can't help it, sana feels like a drug and you need your supply. so here you are in your study, trying to clean up the smell of sex before your mother-in-law arrives. sana's an absolute vixen and trying to coax you into another round, but you know at any second her mother will walk into the house like its her own.

you spray a scent over top of the room urgently before closing the door behind you. a clingy sana kissing you deeply, trying so very hard to get you in bed with her.

"sana, no. your mother will be here any second." you force yourself to be the bad guy, pulling her arms off of you. to which she flicks your forehead.

"sana!" the sound of her voice booming like it's through a speakerphone. sana immediately tenses up, posture straight like a board.

"hi mother."

"glad to see you still recognize me." her mother chastises her. you watch the two woman, and you stay quiet. letting sana speak to her mother in a hushed tone, while you stand nearby.

it's hard to get a gauge on sana's mother, she's fierce and demanding. you also can't tell if she likes you, she keeps her distance. but you also can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. oftentimes she shows up requesting your presence at her events. but you play the part well as much as you can.

the older woman walks towards your living room, where she was months ago, and requesting you to marry her daughter. now she moves around your home like it's her own.

"now that you two have been happily married, it's important to discuss the next step." she starts. "we need heirs, multiple."

you and sana look at each other in horror.

"sana was the only heir in her generation of minatozaki's, i need you two to produce more than a single heir. to protect the minatozaki clan." she states firmly.

you groan into your hands, horrified at the conversation. and for the first time you see the matriach smile as she shows off photos of sana as a baby, cute as a button.

it does make you wonder about having a little sana running around, so you take the conversation topic in stride. letting the matriarch discuss traditions, schooling, extracurriculars and education to maintain the minatozaki standard.

sana is horrified to hear all this from her mother, but when she leaves, a light bulb turns on in her brain. then she smiles at you in that knowing smile.

"honey, come on, you heard my mother. we have to produce heirs. you know what that means?" then she wiggles her eyebrows as she drags you upstairs.

and you let her.

--

a/n: sana, sana, sana. she's been plaguing my mind recently. hope you enjoyed, proofreading is difficult work so i didn't do it. stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[loservillepopulationtwo]

BATFAM AU - LOA Tim au

-

Tim is prowling the streets looking for crime- sure Batman said no to him becoming Robin but the streets are a mess! Batman needs Robin! Gotham needs Robin! And if no one else is gonna step up then he is! He doesn't have a suit or training so it... has not been going the best so far! But he's going to get better! What Batman gonna do? Tell him to stop? Already didn't work the first time! Besides he strategically picked Crime Alley because Batman avoids this place!

It's not like he can just bump into Robin in the streets anymore!

Sounds of fighting! Just the thing Tim was looking for! He has his handy dandy camera to make evidence of crimes!

Tim edged closer to the fighting from the shadows- some poor guys about to get mugged! Then a fist went flying. But it wasn't his...

It was one of those guys off to the side who clearly had some tragedy lead them here who stare far off into the distance and don't seem all there... Fighting the clearly mentally ill guy- wait that's every Gotham rogue and vigilante- but you know what he means!

Tim was about to move when the guy took down the muggers with trained ease. Robin trained ease. Robin trained ease. He could recognize that fighting style anywhere!

Tim, out of habit, took a picture.

Robin finished up and started walking away.

"H-hey wait!" Tim followed him

Why was he pretending to be dead!?

Robin's head didn't even move towards him when he yelled.

"What-"

Robin stared at him blanky, not blinking, not responding.

"Wait are you okay?" Tim asked to no response.

Does Batman even know he's here?! He knows Batman doesn't know! Batman isn't anywhere near here!

Robin continued walking, almost walking into traffic. Tim shrieked and grabbed Robin's hand before he could walk off.

Oh my god!!! Is he a Zombie!?!? THERE'S A ZOMBIE ROBIN!!!!

They (Tim) waited for the road to be clear before walking.

Robin was going somewhere, what is he doing?

Robin went through the streets before going to what seemed like a condemned building.

Was this Robin activities?!

"For the last time get out of here you damn kids!"

It was not Robin activites

"You his keeper, kid?"

Tim wasn't but he nodded anyway, hoping to fish for information.

"Listen- I don't know or care what's wrong with that kid but keep him out of my house! I don't care if he used to live here."

-

Tim showed Robin his murder board photograph collection in an attempt to get any kind of reaction.

“They’re great photos right? You and Batman! Or Bruce I guess-“

Well. Robin did not like the photos it turns out! Because he froze for a second letting Tim yap before it processed and-

But it’s a win for Tim because he knows he’s right about Robin! Batman can just fix the rest and then he’ll be back to being Robin! Any reaction is better than the far off look right?

(Privately, Tim cried over his prized possessions)

(Jason felt something hearing that he can’t grasp enough thought to know what but his chest felt pain)

-

Honestly Robin being alive made Tim sigh in relief- he didn't want to take the burden of Robin but he couldn't see any other choice!

Now how to return to Batman...

If only there was a return to sender button

I know what you're thinking 'Tim you know Batman's identity! Just tell Bruce Wayne!' if only it was that easy... If only...

"Sorry Mr Wayne isn’t available for an appointment right now! He's currently-" off-world with the justice league "-In Paris!"

Tim sighed. Then double sighed when he saw Robin still sitting in the weirdest most uncomfortable looking position after 3 hours of calls.

"Why is it so hard to return you to Bruce!"

"Bruce"

"Yeah, yeah I know"

-

Tim casually leaned against the door to his room- why of all days was today cleaning day! He bartered off having a nanny when his photography (of Batman and Robin) took off but apparently he still ‘needed supervision to make sure he doesn’t kill himself’ from time to time! Disgusting…

His exnanny gave him a scathing look.

“Please I am only a teenage boy, I am just starting my teenagery as I am 13 I need my space you don’t want to go into my room right now!”

She sighed and Tim counted this as a win.

That’ll only work for one day though he’ll have to figure out something else tomorrow! Hopefully he won’t still be here by then so it’ll be moot point.

Thankfully Robin was malnourished and half dead so he wasn’t so big -hell he was just an inch and a half taller than Tim! though that makes sense since theyre only a year and half or two years apart! should he count the dead bit???- so he wasn’t hard to hide! The hard part was that he kept having panic attacks in small spaces… and then running off… and then Tim would have to find him again.

-

Tim wanted to go to bed. He wasn’t sure where to put Robin before that. He didn’t want him to be too far in case Robin runs off again! He can’t keep going back to Crime Alley! Or random park benches!

His bed is too small for the two of them though, as his parents were going to upgrade his bed to a teenager size one later this year…

“Hahhh, let’s just take my parents room it’s big enough.”

Wait oh god does Robin have enough mental capacity to change? Or take a bath?

-

Robin screamed and it jolted Tim out of his slumber.

“Bruce- Bruce-“ Robin was crying.

‘Nice to know he does remember’ a morbid part of Tim’s brain thought

“Hey- hey- it’s just a-“ this isn’t helping

“I’ll get you to Batman, okay? Soon- Just hang tight okay we’ll-“

Wait maybe that’s why he kept trying to escape at night! He’s following his old routine!

“Want to go find crime- Batman?”

Unfortunately Robin didn’t respond as he was still crying but Tim helped him up anyways.

Tim loves crime. Not doing crime- well doing a little crime- but mostly fixing it!

-

No luck finding Batman but Tim got to copy Robin’s moves live!

He also woke up as a undignified teddy bear the next morning which was not fun.

-

After the 15th call to Bruce Wayne’s personal number Tim was starting to get disappointed. Maybe a different route then…

Tim poked Robin's cheek repeatedly, in an annoying little brother fashion despite being an only child- spiritually he was an annoying younger sibling, "Hey do you know where Richard Grayson went underground to? Any place you two used to hang out?"

Robin grabbed his hand.

"Robin!!! I need that hand!!! How am I supposed to return you without it!!!"

Tim shrieked when Robin almost bit him

-

They were out and about in daylight this time so he couldn’t go calling Robin, Robin. Why on earth his brain defaulted to Brother instead of Jason is beyond him.

Probably that old lady on the bus who called him “such a sweet child for taking care of his brother.”

Thankfully (or not thankfully?) everyone would only stare for a minute before they saw Robin proper and realized and looked away. Which is probably how he wen’t unfound this entire time. No enemies but also still no allies…

Maybe he could try the police station! He’d try Batgirl but no one has seen anything of her in a long time… is she dead like Robin now?

Tim didnt realize his body clenched up at the thought until he felt Robin grip his hand back.

“Thanks Rob- brother of mine”

So they can’t just waltz in there and just ask to use the bat signal right? Besides the commissioner is there right now! If anyone were to catch him before Batman it’s that guy!

They did almost get caught by this red-haired wheelchaired civilian though- that was a close one! But thankfully they made it to the top…

“Whose there?!”

“Oh goddamn it-!”

Tim led Robin to the Bat signal, “Come on Robin! I have a great idea!”

-

“A rogue stole the bat signal?”

Gordon nodded, still feeling numb from the wrench to the back of his head…

Bruce felt a heavy wave of nostalgia and grief, “Jason used to steal from me and hit me with blunt metal objects…” Bruce sighed again. He misses his son. He wants Jason here. Jason would be laughing his ass off right now.

Gordon gave him a sad stare, “Hey if you need to take a step back I can handle this okay…”

Bruce can’t lose another son.

-

“WHY DID A POLICE SHOW UP INSTEAD OF BATMAN?!?”

Thankfully, he didn’t expect a child so Tim kicked him in the balls and ran.

-

“Okay so. It’s been a week. at this point I’m thinking we should break into Wayne Manor!”

Robin didn’t say anything but Tim felt Robin lean into him and that’s as good as he’s gonna get!

“If anyone has any objections to this raise your hand!”

Since Tim was presenting his solutions to his hoard of stuffed animals and a dead Robin no one raised their hand. Tim was satisfied with this!

“I rest my case!”

-

They only got halfway through the plan when they hit a stall.

Assassins!

Who even needs to send assassins against a half dead guy! He’ll die on his own without help!

Robin took one of them down but-

Tim shrieked as some tall lady grabbed him by the back of his shirt.

“This is interesting.”

Enemies found them first! Yayyy fun. Can you hear the sarcasm? because Tim is NOT HAVING FUN!!!

“My tails were following the little dead Robin when they found something of note,” she was looking down directly at him, “A child who out detectived the bat”

The other assassin successfully restrained Robin.

This would be a great time for Batman to appear out of thin air!

Unfortunately, Batman did have a track record for being too late to save his kids.

-

Tim tries memorizing every route they take at first, but as it becomes apparent he’s being taken outside of the country he isn’t sure what to do. Ro- Jason (Talia insisted) stopped being hostile as soon as the assassins stopped being hostile. Does he remember that they were hostile a few hours ago? Does he care?

Jason reached out and grabbed Tim’s hand like Tim did whenever they wen’t out in public, except there were no streets for him to walk into here.

-

Ra who did not want Tim at first but Talia persuaded

"Just the dead Robin would have been sufficient

"He will prove himself useful, father."

"He should hope"

Ra Al Ghul stared down at Tim. For some reason, Tim's spleen hurt. He isn't sure why exactly his spleen, but it hurts.

-

Tim is trained by the LOA, but his main role is gathering intelligence, and other detective-like things. His smarts is the reason he got noticed after all! Talia has a weird (proud) glint in her eyes.

-

Jason has been training as a bodyguard… nanny.

Jason has no clue but it’s really clear to Tim from the way Jason has been taught to swaddle this water balloon and hold it without popping.

There’s one thing Tim has found about Talia and it’s that she would go to great lengths to keep her loved ones safe. Like a baby.

Jason must’ve felt the eyes because he just said “Ball”

Another change with his training- Talia has been having him go through physical and mental therapy. He can say words now! But he has to be retaught them.

So far he has, “Ball” “Mine” and “Milkshake”

Tim’s tried explaining that all foods aren’t called milkshake but that just makes Jason stubborner. Thankfully Tim is even stubborner. Both of them will die on their hills.

-

“For being so smart you haven’t commented on that,” Talia said with amusement.

“Momma didn’t raise no bitch” well Momma didn’t raise nobody Tim’s mom was absent but still! He’s not gonna say that

“Ah, so you have true smarts, unlike my beloved- who can be so adorably dumb when it comes to women.”

Bruce Wayne worlds no 1 fumbler

-

Tim was on his first mission when Damian was born.

“Did Lady Shiva say yes?”

Tim nodded, “She also said congratulations.”

“And you, Tim?”

“…you look really good for having just had a baby?”

Talia huffed, “good, I would be disappointed if you couldn’t even find something like that out.”

She had not informed Tim, naturally. But he’s just a sneaky little guy.

“Come now, let’s go see Damian.”

Damian was swaddled and being held tenderly by Jason, “Mine.”

“Family, Jason we’ve been over this, Family. Remember this word, fam-ily”

“Mine. Family”

“Good enough.”

“He’s so tiny!” exclaimed Tim- he’d never actually seen a baby before. Only things like Richard Graysons baby photos!! This is so different from baby photos!

“Want to hold him?” Talia smiled at Tim

“Mine!”

Talia bonked him on the head, “Share!”

Jason, having long been program to listen to Talia and her progeny did not smack back like he would with anyone else.

Tim felt so nervous holding Damian but Talia and Jason were there so it’d be fine… or he’d get double murdered.

Damian spit up on Tim.

-

“What of the classics have you read?”

Tim shrugged, he kinda just skips school…

Talia looked pained.

“Jason Todd, allegedly, loved reading classical literature back in the day,” when in doubt, just drop a fact Tim shouldn’t be able to know.

Talia was too appeased to remember to force him to read any of them for a month.

-

Tim is starting to think Damian hates him.

He vomits on every one of his good shirts and he’s entirely certain it’s on purpose!

Jason doesn’t care about his poor shirts and keeps attending to Damian.

Tim continuously tries to teach Damian to throw up on Jason too to get back at him!

-

A shadow attacked Damian one night.

Jason tore the heart out of the shadow out, the movements were swift and graceful from training.

"Mine!"

Damian cried.

Tim didn't do anything, the shadows bore the signifiers of Talia's men after all.

Later he did raise an eyebrow when Talia asked them if they had a good sleep.

Seriously, she doesn't need to test them! Sometimes a guy wants a good sleep.

Talia's eyes held a hint of amusement at Tim's disgruntleness.

-

“Tim, if you see Jason letting Damian bite his fingers get Damian one of his teethers. I have no idea where Jason’s hands hand been.”

“Inside a guy’s chest as he ripped out his heart probably.”

“And where have those hearts been!”

-

“Come on Damian! It’ll be super funny! Mur-der”

“ummummummm”

“Mur-der”

“muragh!”

“That’s the spirit!”

Jason was sitting behind Damian, helping him sit up (even though Damian cat sit Jason is just a preprogrammed mother hen) while Tim desperately tried to steal first word from Damian before it could be “ball” or “mine” from mimicking Jason or “Mama” from Talia’s training. That’s why he needs this counter measure!

“Mur-der!”

“murrrr!”

A bird chirped and Damian was instantly distracted, crawling towards it.

Tim turned to Jason, scandalized, “Why’d you let him crawl away!”

Instead of Damian’s first word being the focus Jason went off to catch the bird for Damian leaving Tim with the Baby!

In the end Damian’s first word was “Robin” and none of them taught him this he heard it in passing when he. was chasing the bird as apparently it was a Robin bird?!?. It was the league of assassins version of a babys first word being “fuck”

-

Tim and Talia are on a mission. Tim informs Talia that his sources say that Damian has taken his first steps (towards Jason)

Talia is suddenly in a better mood for the rest of the day and the rest of Tim’s squad are very happy and keep thanking Tim for saving them.

Tim is climbing up this ladder fast, even without being a heavy hitter (he can still fight ofc he loves his Saintie, great for parrying)

-

Damian, Jason and Tim never really got out of the habit of sharing a cot, as Jason and Tim would have to protect more often then not at night- what between Ra’s and Talia’s own men. Tim still doesn’t trust that guy to sleep on his own.

Naturally, Tim and Damian have both gotten used to falling asleep to humming classic Crime Alley tunes.

Not for the first time Tim wonders what kind of things are going on in that brain. If he knows what hes humming.

He’s been here a while, he’s seen the lazarus pits. He wonders what would happen if Jason went in one. Would he be healed?

Damian has never known anything different.

-

Tim, chatterbox, Drake realized pretty quickly that Damian loved hearing stories. It was also helpful to trying to restore Jason's mind to say stories about the past- but the biggest thing was just that Tim's a massive Batman and Robin fan. Being in the LOA has not stopped him.

It's not like Talia minds- she just sighs dreamily at specific points.

Which is how Tim finds himself in the weird position of being inbetween multiple Al Ghuls and a dead Robin telling his stalker stories pretty often.

Talia keeps lecturing him on his format- as it's not good enough for her! Classic lovers...

-

Damian has started training, it's kind of funny to watch someone with such small limbs try to move

Wait is this how Batman felt watching his poor attempt to vigilante!?

Discreetly, Tim pictures for future making fun of purposes when Damian is 20.

Ra didn't even notice!

Tim adds this to his secret photos folder, still full of current Batman photos- oh and the new blonde Robin. He really want's to dig into it but Bruce didn't adopt this one.

-

Jason lost a lot of his ability to understand spoken word. But he can still understand emotions and body language. He's been thrown back to simpler mode of understanding, based mostly on instinct.

It's every human's first language before spoken language. Most forget but for some like David Cain's shadow, it is their first language.

They don't interact much but the few times they do is nice. Everyone else just sees two people sitting in silence and slowly leave.

Sadly, the shadow leaves soon. From the room and the league.

-

Tim really needs to do this.

He really needs do this work.

Why is Damian crying while he's trying to do work!?

Jason is holding him, which usually stops the crying.

"Bad training session?"

Damian sniffled, "I am the grandson of the Demon I never have bad training sessions!"

Tim nodded, "mmm really?"

"Maybe, you wouldn't know!"

Tim just stared at Damian until he caved. Tim's Very Done Look tm has gotten better these past few years.

"I couldn't kill MR- Mr.fluffy"

"Your favorite pet??"

Damian nodded.

"Well shit, I bet me and Jason couldn't do that either!"

Damian immediately scoffed "No need to coddle me Drake!"

"I'm serious"

"Really?"

"Dead serious."

Tim grabbed his hidden pile of photos and took out some Batman ones, "You know Batman thinks killing is shameful?"

Damian blinked, "Father?"

"Bruce," was Jason's helpful addon, which clearly means Tim's right.

"Yeah he has a no killing rule."

"So it's okay if I..."

"It's okay"

Damian didn't want to kill so he wouldn't.

No one else in the League of Assassins is okay with this but they don't matter. Besides, Talia and Jason would die before anything could harm Damian.

-

Tim's been on all kinds of international missions, so it's a bit of a surprise when Talia decides to switch it up a bit.

Jason's been sent to train internationally and Tim's stuck on babysitter duty for the foreseeable future.

Talia barely looked in his eyes. Something serious is going to happen and he's going to need to gather his forces. Thankfully, he's made many connections during his time here. Tim's just cool like that.

(League version of the Teen Titans consider guys guys-)

-

Damian’s aging in this is gonna be a little weird and I’m going to blame it on the lazarus water forcing him to physically grow quicker (because it speeds up healing and he's a kid, has the reverse affect on adults) while he’s being healed so my timeline makes sense. Oh maybe Jason too but he's only been like a few times so he just looks his chronological age. He’s just been in it oh so many times and its so sad and angsty and not all for the timeline! So it’s like 13-15-0 at the start and 16-18-6 physically for the sake of my sanity we dont need to think about things like “barely remembering anything after 15” or “being born 4 years ago” its not important

-

Jason wakes up in the lazarus pit very confused. He doesn't remember the last few years.

Tim and Damian try very hard to hide their dissapointment. They're very happy Jason is healthier-

"Do you really not remember?" the little kid stared up at Jason and Jason felt his heart pierce. Why does he feel so bad???

Why does he trust these people? It's hard to control his instincts with them- his instincts just turning into either putty.

-

A shadow comes near them and Jason instinctively growls and rips the shadow into pieces.

Okay so. His instincts is so different now?

"...are you okay?" Jason asked the two

Neither looked surprised or at all scared.

-

Something about his and Tim's height difference keeps making his thoughts fall into 'I remember when me and Tim were around the same height' before he goes 'WHAT???'

Damian walking and his stupid brain goes 'Damian's first steps'

What is this??? It's so weird!!

-

"So Jason clearly has some kind of memory of us it's just kinda buried," Tim informed Damian, thankfully they're two shadows Jason never notices.

-

Damian steals Tim's photo folder and shows Jason

It takes a while but Jason just gives up and accepts this is his life now

-

Jason stared at Talia with wide eyes, "Oh my god"

Talia tilted her head.

Jason gasped as clarity finally hit him, "You have an adoption problem like Bruce!"

"What?"

"He's right though," agreed Tim, who was conscious through the entire process. He's never actually known Bruce but that matches with his data that he'd be like Talia. They had to have somethings in common to have dated!

Maybe they broke up because Talia didn't know she was an adoptmaniac like Bruce. Tim looked over and made eye contact with Damian and they shared a little nod in understanding.

They could totally get Talia back together with Bruce and then he could be step son! It's one spot removed from his old wattpad fanfics but it's close enough!

Though he really wishes people would stop leaving hate comments about Batman's secret identity being Wruce Bayne...

-

Tim was telling another story to pretending not to be starry-eyed Damian and pretending not to be listening Jason.

Jason kept giving him the funniest look when Tim detective Drake knew things he shouldn't. Tim would just smile and Jason would grumble under his breathe.

It's going great even with Jason being such a drama queen after being bathed in Lazarus water.

Tim opened his mouth to continue when Jason stomped over in dramatic outrage, "Your format sucks! Have you ever even analysed books???"

Classic lovers.

-

Tim decided to force the classic lovers to talk to eachother instead of bothering him! At least Damian doesn't interrupt him!

-

Things are going on in the background that neither Tim nor Talia appreciate.

Talia doesn't need to tell him, Tim starts finding discreet ways to change locations.

-

"Come on guys! We need to go!" said Tim as soon as Jason snuck back into their room after a mission

"Uh-"

"Tim is right- it's no longer safe for you here," said Talia who was also here- shit it must be important then... Not just Tim being crazy...

Jason nodded and went to grab Damian when he noticed something off and paused, slowly turning back around, "Tim... where's your spleen?"

"Ra has it"

"...I have several follow up questions"

"No time- we need to hustle!"

And like that they're on the run from everyone, making their way to Gotham again. It's been years since Tim has been home.

-

"YOU TRIED TO BECOME ROBIN????" Jason turned to face the back of Tim's head, whisper yelling (he can't yell properly because Damian is asleep with them)

"You were dead!" Tim whisper-shouted in defence, "Batman needed a Robin! Everyone was too devastated after your death to Vigilante properly!"

"What do you even know about Robin?"

"So much-"

"You're a trust fund baby! You've never even slept on the streets!"

Tim turned to give Jason a scathing glare, "Were sleeping on the streets right now!"

"My point still stands!"

Damian rolled over in his sleep and hit them both in the face.

-

“Robin me could beat Robin you up,” declared Jason, the next morning.

Tim gasped in offence, “Robin me would beat Robin you up!”

“With what? your face being so ugly I die instantly”

“…I was gonna say crowbar-“

“WHAT”

“But I’m gonna go with doxxing”

“Too soon Tim!”

“It’s been 4 years!”

“It’s been like 4 months for me!”

Damian, who was casually eating his breakfast, looked up at Tim, “Wouldn’t doing that make you a villain not a Robin?”

Jason grinned, all teeth, “He’s right! It’s Robin vs Villain Tim!”

“It’s not villainous-“ “Villain Drake would win” “what?” “what?”

Jason made a wounded noise.

They went back to eating their breakfast.

Chomp chomp chomp

nom nom nom

chomp nom nom

nom…

Jason suddenly stood up, “WE NEED TO MAKE VILLAIN COSTUMES!”

Tim stared up with judgemental eyes.

“What??”

“For when we return to Gotham!”

“Why would we need Villain Costume’s-“

“I call the coolest costume!” Damian demanded immediately

Jason nodded placatingly, “We’re gonna be the coolest! I’m gonna call mine Red Hood!”

“Because your League outfit has a red hood?” asked Damian with innocence

“Wait why should we be villains?!”

Jason stared at Tim like he was dumb, “So we can make villain monologues- duh”

“Nerd.”

-

Staring at Gotham, as they got closer and closer. Tim wonders why he ever agreed to this.

This is the dumbest villain costume.

Why can’t they just be vigilantes!

[toriaaniin]

The Skeleton Crew

Once upon a time, there was a ship called the USS Lukola. She was a sleek vessel cruising a warm ocean - blue like a certain Irish lass's eyes - and filled with people like me who witnessed and believed in the love, light and energy shone by Nicola and Luke during (heck... even prior to) the Bridgerton season 3 world PR tour.

Unbeknownst to us passengers, the USS Lukola left charted waters and entered the Bermuda Triangle. BaBaBam (imagine ominous music here). Waves started crashing against the hull and over the deck. The ship's navigation equipment failed; the dials on the bridge panel spin spin spinning in counter clockwise, clockwise directions, like in the movies. Eeek! North, south, east, west? What direction was the ship headed?! Not to worry; the crew and passengers knew where they were going - breadcrumbs and morsels led the way, while heavy golden nuggets like the Claddagh ring & the This/That video 🤍 gave the ship ballast to withstand the storm... but they also knew that patience - and sea legs - were required to see them to their destination.

Naturally some passengers didn't have faith that the ship could reach it's destination so they jumped, relying on life vests for survival. In many cases, life boats were deployed (on more than one occasion) taking passengers to shore where they now look out over the water and wishing they'd remained aboard. Some even return. They're welcomed back of course.

And then there's the group that sent an SOS out to an old battleship. They wanted a tough ship. Not just because they imagined it could better withstand the waves, but because they'd shifted alliances and expected push-back from the USS Lukola. Problem! Their new alliance painted a rainbow flag on their hull. "That's okay", they told themselves. "We can't see it from the deck!" (Fingers in ears, eyes squeezed shut all while singing "lalala"). Rather then face reality and head to shore to join those passengers gazing longingly at the USS Lukola, they decided that sinking that darned happy-people ship was the ideal strategy to "win" the best ship prize. So they proceeded to employ battle tactics against the USS Lukola and, as it would happen, Lukola themselves. Most notably Luke.

So we came into Monday, battle worn following a weekend of presumed troll activity, redirection (because really, Ceasefire in Gaza is far more important to focus on! And also because one does not ignore N's patterns), and the fandom's descent onto the TT account of a sad, misguided young woman seeking social media attention and validation. Challenging for us, yes. Even more so for the Newton family.

Naturally, a few more life boats left the USS Lukola over the weekend too. Sigh. Sad to see them go.

And yet, the USS Lukola sails on!

I was telling a friend about how it feels like Lukolas are being winnowed like grain, the wind or a combine shaking our group to remove the chaff. She laughed and suggested a more appropriate ship reference: "What's remaining is the Skeleton Crew!". YES! That was exactly the right description for us!!!

Those of us who remain on the ship are the hearty diehards. We are the ones who belong to group chats, with friends to help support us during rough seas. Amongst our boney selves are the critical thinkers and analysts. We listen only to Nicola, Luke and their trusted allies. Then there are the creatives; those who develop scenarios based solely on the information provided by the critical thinkers and analysts. There are the bloggers here on Tumblr that relay information and theories, and then help us rib cages to hold on tight. I love that we're a fine collective of beautiful bones, supporting one another as we sail towards endgame. Love. We are The Skelton Crew!

Ahoy matey; there be treasure thata way!!

Proof of our ability to assess information, of our resilience as crew/passengers (not sure about you, but my chat groups are capital S supportive!), and our belief in Luke & Nicola's love came yesterday when that slag-rag DeuxMoi posted photos of Nicola & Jake buying carrots... and trolling the paparazzi. They spotted that photographer, devised a plan, laughed and totally goofed around for each photo!

Did we spiral? Maybe a little at first. Like I said, it was a difficult weekend and we didn't want more mayhem. Then we looked closer and started to laugh! Just like Nicola & Jake, we hammed it up in the ballroom, in the bar's lounge, and on the lido deck!

No, we don't want to have to weather another storm. But we will if we have to. We have each other and we're hardy souls! Well... skeletons! These bones were made for dancing! ☠☠☠

Aaniin

[joffyworld]

Happy Joffy Day!

Today marks a day of tremendous change here at JoffyWorld! To start, it's my birthday! I am officially 21, which is apparently a milestone to most people? Weird!

As a celebration, I've got a few things lined up for you all! First and foremost, I will be launching 4, that's right 4, new blogs each with a distinct theme or purpose! I also have what I have coined a "Wall of Mutual Appreciation" which you'll see later in the day, as well as a competition to announce with (albeit sort of small) cash prizes!

So, read on if you're interested!

The New Blogs:

@joffykingdom

This blog exists specifically to house my personal writing! This is where my poems and anthologies (other than my COTL au, more on that later) will be kept from now on! I've realised my poetry has always kind of gotten buried under stuff. Hopefully, this will remedy that! So, if you like my more personal poems, head on over!

@joffycourt

This is the blog I'm most excited about! This is a group project I've been working on for a while with some friends I hold dear! This blog will be a group-run blog designed to spread joy through reblogs, comments and posts just as I do here on JoffyWorld, but on a grander scale! I've seen, and been told personally by many, just how uplifting and helpful my time here has been, and I want to continue that going forward! So, I've gathered some of my most joyful friends, and we've decided to try and spread it even more together! Joining me there so far as the newest Joffy's of the court will be @loullipopx, @bash-js, @yotomazu and @littleperson404! Hopefully, this will only keep growing in time to help me spread the joy I feel from everyone even further! Only time will tell :D

@joffydungeon

This will become the new home for my NSFW reblogs, the more risqué or deranged posts. Basically, in the most simple way, this will be the 18+ blog from now on. Minors DNI, adults more than welcome!

@cult-of-the-anthology

Finally, this blog will be the home of my COTL au and it's respective series! I have plans to do side-by-side series all based within the same au, all told through alternative storytelling such as poetry, songs and whatnot, the type of stuff you've already possibly seen from my au's Ballad of the Bishops Series so far! If you want to keep up with the au, here's the place to do it!

The Wall of Mutual Appreciation:

My aim with this is to help spread one long list of appreciation for all the friends I've made here so far and help spread them with what audience I've collected so far. Each person I'm mutuals with will have a tagged entry into the wall, with a brief explanation of what I find so riveting about their specific artworks and skills! I thought it'd be a fun way to give back a little, and also possibly promote people a tiny bit! Of course, if you're uncomfortable with being on it and see yourself get tagged, let me know and I'll take your name down immediately, no questions asked! It's supposed to be a nice, fun thing, no negativity involved!

And now, the contest!

The Contest:

I will be hosting a writing contest! Cash prizes will be awarded (preferably through Ko-Fi, although PayPal can also be done) to the top three places at the end of the contest! The prizes are: £15 for 1st place, £10 for 2nd and £5 for 3rd, or their local equivalent in your own currencies!

The prompt will be announced by the 15th, and all formats of writing are welcome! I would, however, encourage everyone to try their hand at poetry! I know it's not a popular medium and other forms are welcome of course, but I'd like personally to see people try their hand at something new (and of course, since I'm the poetry guy in my friend groups lmao). I won't however be awarding "bonus points" for poems versus long-form writing for example, all pieces will be judged fairly!

... And that's all!

Thank you so much for everything you've all given me over my time here. It's not even been a year and we're already approaching 300 friends gathered! It's a wonder every day I wake up and talk to you all or even just see what you've been up to. You're all wonderful and I'm honoured to have gotten to know you.

Thank you, you have my endless loyalty, love and support.

Good luck and take care of yourselves,

The Original Joffy™

[hazelfoureyes]

before i never really interacted with blogs(cuz anxiety and very toxic friends had my tumblr, who ive gotten rid of now) but now i literally interact with every post bc of you, you are god and i will worship you, your smut is poetic af and has my legs SHAKING(.literally.)

i am ON MY KNEES❗

also, alastor and his rivals(vox or lucifer) x reader smut? like i know alastor would be petty asf and have them watch as he fucks the living out of their beloved, im curious, do you have any ideas regarding that?(cuz your ideas are delicious and im hungry for that)

You’ve left me speechless which is quite the accomplishment, Darling. I am just a little goblin! Or like the tooth fairy, but instead of teeth I take praise and instead of money I leave filthy smut 🥺 I am so glad you removed the toxic friends and are interacting more. 💖 you deserve better and your interactions are a joy. Thank you for brightening my day! I am so far away and yet you’ve got me blushing like a fool.

oooh yes okay so! Here’s some ideas 👀

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊👑₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

Energy for me is Lucifer: Here to please. Alastor: Here to win. I imagine Luci brings you to the hotel for Charlie’s Birthday party, already having a precious casual fling once or twice before. All the guests are there, everyone is dancing and drinking and having a good time. Alastor notices how you call him Luci, how Lucifer cant keep his cool when you lean closer to him when you speak. Naturally, Alastor sees an opportunity to fuck with Lucifer so he asks for a dance. He is uncharacteristically sweet and loving, willing to do anything to get under the king of hell’s skin. He changes the music to something slow, holding you close he whispers in your ear during your dance, “How can any man maintain composure around you? I feel my manners slipping through my fingers every time you look my way.” When you leave the party to cool down, Alastor follows, finding you in an empty room trying to decompress. “Would you hate me if I kissed you? Be forewarned, once I start, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop…”

Lucifer walks in to see you absolutely melting under Alastor, lipstick smeared and face flushed. But Luci adores you, your pleasure is his pleasure and he’s compelled to stay and watch, even as Alastor makes you moan and scream his name. “Who do you belong to, sweetheart?” “Whose cock are you made for?” You’re reduced to incoherent babbling by the time Alastor is finished toying with Lucifer. Lucifer can’t take it anymore and finds himself crawling onto the bed to swallow your moans and shower you in praise.

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊🖥️₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

I can see Vox bringing his beloved personal assistant to an overlord meeting for note taking, and Alastor notices your glances to him. Vox adores you, and is always on his best behavior around you to impress you. Alastor waits for you outside of Vee Tower that night for a “chance run in”. “What luck! Allow me to buy you a drink, as a welcome to hell.” Charms you as any good southern boy could, and suggests you both go back to your office for privacy. Knowing full well Vox has cameras all over the office, Alastor fucks Vox’s assistant on his desk while maintaining eye contact with the massive collection of screens there. Vox catches sight of this while skimming through the feeds but can’t break away from the video. Alastor keeps your back to the displays while bouncing you on his cock, smirking at Vox the entire time as he leans back on his desk chair. Vox is seething and finally rushes to his office to find Alastor gone and you lying on your back, still out of breath and cum dripping onto the desk.

Vox keeps you, but gets rid of the desk. He can’t let Alastor have the satisfaction of making him lose his prized employee. For weeks after, while zoning out in board meetings, his screen flashes images of Alastor smirking from over your shoulder as you ride him. He’s entirely unaware that it’s happening and everyone is too scared to tell him.

[rainystarters]

💫 love is cosmic ! a collection of dialogue + action prompts inspired by red velvet's album cosmic. some prompts usfw. add +reversed for the muse receiving the meme to perform the action instead. adjust as necessary.

dialogue :

meeting you as the stars would have it.

i can't get you off my mind.

what did you do to my mind?

i want to know you.

how about you stay a little longer?

perhaps we're travelers searching for orphaned dreams.

come with me.

discover things no human eyes have seen.

i just can't say goodnight.

your love is cosmic.

you got me hypnotized.

i saw you hiding.

what are you? my god.

honey, i give you my all.

i'll find you in my dreams.

summer, autumn, winter, spring: the whole world is you.

my memories are floating away.

the beautiful times are leaving me, stealing you away.

this isn't the end ...remember.

i will gladly stay by your side.

it's you who kept me through the long nights.

no one knows where a fading star goes.

and i'll fly light-years to find you.

to you, my universe, the only reason i exist.

i'll always be here for you.

is it love?

i remember the first moment i saw you.

you feel the same way, right?

we can't play no game the right way.

it doesn't matter 'cause you're my prize.

i saw the same moon.

i want to dream every day.

i want to whisper in your ears the things i couldn't say.

we're not that young anymore.

i still remember the summer days when i first saw you.

believe in us more than anything.

i don't mind staying up all night, my love.

let's talk like we did when we were young.

i'm your friend. i'll be there.

take my hand and run.

sweet dreams, my love.

our story continues even in dreams.

when the moon shines bright, i'll tell you my story.

close your eyes and lean on me, my love.

oh, you've grown so quickly, kid.

we were always young and fearless.

we're together and we have the same dream.

actions :

crash-landing. sender chases a falling star but finds receiver where it fell.

stargaze. sender lies down next to receiver to stargaze.

daisy chain. sender weaves flowers into receiver's hair.

hypnotize. sender falls under receiver's spell, hypnotized.

zodiac. sender asks for receiver's sign.

bubble. sender blows/magically creates bubbles that surround receiver.

string. sender sees an invisible string of fate tying them to receiver.

chase. sender chases receiver through the woods.

arcade. sender loses a game to receiver while at a neon-illuminated arcade.

last drop. sender pours a drink into receiver's mouth.

hallucinate. sender finds receiver hallucinating and talking to inanimate objects.

memory. sender steps into one of receiver's memories.

sunburn. sender kisses receiver's skin and leaves behind a burn mark.

far-flung. sender wakes in another world to receiver staring down at them.

funny story. sender watches receiver trespass on a fairy ring and join the dance.

sunset. sender kisses receiver against the setting sun.

peek. sender doesn't notice receiver watching them dress through a hole.

honey. sender sends a bee to sting receiver.

stars align. sender fails to stop receiver from completing a ritual.

cosmos. sender and receiver feel each other's heart beat despite being apart.

night drive. sender and receiver drive through the night in a convertible.

butterfly. sender catches receiver transforming into [magical girl/werewolf/etc].

long-lost. sender reunites with receiver who has no memory of them.

sunflower. sender tucks a flower into receiver's lunch/purse/etc. to find later.

tarot. sender draws a card and waits for receiver to reveal its face.

flight. sender bridal carries receiver as they fly.

sweet dream. sender and receiver snuggle in bed below glow-in-the-dark stars.

may queen. sender crowns receiver queen of the spring festival.

turbulence. sender trips receiver, sending them falling.

carousel. sender grabs receiver's hand as they ride on a carousel.

moonlight. sender and receiver bathe naked in the moonlight.

astral. sender astral projects to receiver's location far away.

cat's cradle. sender performs a spell with receiver using cat's cradle.

night. sender and receiver walk through an illuminated night festival/market.

ride. sender sits on receiver's lap, straddling them.

see you. sender kisses receiver before they part forever/for a long time.

electric. sender teases receiver, brushing their lips across intimate skin.

cosmic love. sender and receiver break the bed during sex.