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ckret2 · 1 year ago

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Chapter 25 of human Bill is the Mystery Shack's prisoner and somehow befriended Mabel: in which Bill and Mabel make friendship bracelets. It's heartwarming. Bill is not, I repeat, not secretly up to anything nefarious.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the chapter, Bill is secretly up to something nefarious.

####

"I'll be back in exactly one hour," Ford said. "Be finished showering by then. You've got everything you need, as well as..." He looked disdainfully at a baggie of shampoo and conditioner sample bottles, "your gift from the Northwests."

Bill eyed the Northwests' little care package skeptically. Four entire separate products that were supposed to be used all in one shower. He was drowning in mammal-cleaning slimes. What a waste of his time. "You don't expect me to use allthis junk, do you?"

"Frankly, as long as you aren't bald and don't smell like gnome urine in an hour, I don't care what happens between now and then."

"You're the most merciful warden I've ever had, Stanford."

Ford wasn't sure if that was supposed to be sarcasm or an awkward glimpse into Bill's sordid history, so he just shut the bathroom door. "One hour."

"One hour!" Bill waited until he couldn't hear Ford's footsteps; and then he turned on the shower, fished a crushed cider can and eight candles out of his hoodie, and stood on the wooden crate by the window.

Over the last few days, he'd spent every spare private moment using toothpaste and toilet paper to polish the bottom of the can into a perfect, shining, concave mirror. Now, he held it up to the window with one of the candles, using the mirror to focus the sun into a point on the wick of the candle... and...

It took a couple minutes of agonizing patience, but finally the wick smoked and then ignited. Yes. Moving carefully so he wouldn't douse the flame, he used the burning candle to melt the bottoms of the other candles just enough to stick them to the floor, lit them in turn, and in the middle Bill quickly made a (frankly terrible) drawing of Kryptos by finger painting with a tube of toothpaste.

And then he knelt in front of the candle circle, and—quietly enough that the shower covered the sound—he started chanting.

Some humans called Bill a dream demon. It wasn't exactly wrong, even if calling him a dream demon was kind of like naming the entire human race "the mountain bikers."

Which was to say, if Bill was a "dream demon," then so were the rest of his people. The other surviving shapes could cast themselves like shadows onto the walls and floors of other dimensions, slip through the cracks in reality that were too thin to accommodate the depths of three-dimensional creatures, and wander through the higher dimensions' mindscapes.

It was just that it was only one of their many side hobbies rather than their main pursuit as a species—and not a particularly popular hobby, at that. Most shapes weren't into taking safaris through aliens' dreams.

Out of the shapes Bill still hung out with, Hectorgon wouldn't do it; he appreciated why Bill went on his psychic excursions for the everyone's benefit, but skulking in a higher plane's second dimension made Hectorgon feel voyeuristic—and he'd only gotten more uncomfortable with the idea since his three-dimensional makeover. Bill could wheedle a majority of Amorphous Shape into a sightseeing trip once a millennium or so, but they were just a passive tour group who would be lost without Bill as their tour guide. Kryptos alone had taken enough of an interest in alien mindscapes to make the leap from "occasional tourist" to "frequent traveler." He was the only one other than Bill who spent enough time on Earth to network with the locals; and he was the only one other than Bill who had bothered to set up a summoning ritual, in case an earthbound buddy wanted to ring him up for a party.

Kryptos's party line was going to be Bill's salvation.

Which was a shame, because Bill just knew Kryptos would be annoying about this for the next million years. He'd worry about finding a way to bully Krypt into not lording it over him after he was safely back home in the Quadrangle of Qonfusion.

But when Bill called, nothing happened.

That wasn't right. Nothing wasn't supposed to happen. Even if Krypt didn't pick up, Bill should feel the spell working. The sound of the shower should pause. The air should go still and cool. Everything should be gray.

Bill opened his eyes. Nothing was gray. He checked each candle to make sure they were all lit, checked his drawing to make sure it looked right—it wasn't exactly flattering, but the lines were straight and the angles were correct, and anyway it was recognizable enough to work for the summoning. He remembered the words, he knew he remembered the words.

Try again. He shut his eyes. "Rhombus sapphirinus. Fraternitas, caritas, veritas. Te invoco, te invito." And then, not because it was necessary but because he was getting mad, he tacked on, "Responde mihi, quadrum defututum! Culum tuum calcitrabo!"

Nothing. The world went on un-paused. Bill remained awake. He opened his eyes to the vibrant, colorful, tragically real world around him.

It didn't make sense. Even without his powers, he should be able to reach Kryptos. Any human could do this ritual, and Bill knew a whole lot more than any human. Either Kryptos was dead (unlikely; but without Bill there...), or something was blocking Bill. The block could be inside him—maybe the Axolotl was sealing off even this paltry little magic—or outside, some sort of shield blocking the mindscape. But whatever the source, the result was the same:

He couldn't get a call out. Nobody, not even his oldest friends, could hear him.

He stared at Kryptos's ugly mug for a long moment; then blew out the candles, hid them and the crushed can back in his hoodie, used toilet paper to wipe the toothpaste and wax off the floor, and got in the shower.

If he wanted to get out, he had to make new friends. He'd been making some good progress lately, particularly with Mabel. Perhaps it was time to test just how far her compassion could get him.

####

Prisma the Rainbow Fairy said, "Gee, Sunny Cat, I haven't seen you spending time with Teddy Tender lately. What happened?"

"He's a killjoy," Bill said, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the TV. "He's a wet blanket."

A sunshine-yellow bipedal cat said, "Teddy's so sad today, and it's making me sad. I don't want to hang out with him when he's like this!"

"That's what I said," Bill said. Heckling the characters helped distract him from the urge to scratch the exposed skin on his arms until he scraped it off his bones. After showering, his hoodie had been confiscated for a round of emergency post-eye-bat-repellant laundry, and he was temporarily back in a reject gift shop t-shirt. He felt exposed.

Prisma said, "Sometimes when our friends are sad, all they need is another friend to give them a hug or tell them they care. It'll help them feel happier."

"I don't know," Sunny said. "When I feel sad, being around other people makes me feel worse."

"Everyone's a little different, Sunny. Why don't you offer to hold his hand and see if that makes him happier?"

"I guess I could try."

"Nah, it's too late for Teddy," Bill told the TV. With some glee, he added, "The most caring thing you could do is put him out of his misery."

Mabel, sitting up on the couch with three colors of embroidery floss tangled around her fingers, lightly kicked the back of Bill's head. He grinned wider. Mabel said, "Bill, I don't think you're taking this seriously."

"Was I supposed to?"

"It's a beautiful June day and I'm inside with you, so you could at least pretend to. I thought you were a good liar."

"I've never told a lie in my life," lied Bill. "But okay, fine. I've seen the error of my ruthless ways. Maybe there's hope for Teddy yet."

Mabel nodded, mollified. She set aside her current project and rummaged through her bag of embroidery floss. "Hey Bill, what's your favorite color?"

"Gold!"

"Why did I ask. What's your next favorite color?"

"Every color simultaneously superimposed over each other, instantly blinding you!"

Mabel tried to picture that. She imagined a rainbow that was also a laser that was also iridescent. Her mental image looked a lot like Prisma's combat magic. "You have such good taste."

"It takes good taste to recognize good taste!" Bill mentally reviewed the last couple minutes of conversation, saw an opportunity to bolster the "reforming monster" image he was trying to sell to Mabel, and added, "By the way—thanks for sticking around just to keep me entertained!" (See: he can say thank you unprompted.) "This sure isn't where I'd want to spend my afternoon," he laughed wryly, "but unlike me, you have a choice in the matter."

"Yeah," Mabel sighed. "It stinks. I wish you could go outside with me."

Bill quietly, smugly filed that statement away for later use.

Mabel pulled a couple fresh rolls of embroidery floss out of her bag and got to work with them. "We can't set off fireworks inside the shack. Or play with Soos's paintball guns."

Bill's smugness vanished, leaving behind only the hollow feeling of missing out on a lot of fun. Fireworks and paintball guns. Those were three of his favorite things: explosions, colors, and interpersonal violence.

Mabel went on, "And Candy's saved up three years of Magic Vision Poster calendars to wallpaper the inside of her closet. She read online that if you cross your eyes just right to make them all look 3D at the same time, you can hallucinate going inside them! We're gonna try it out tomorrow. That seems like something you'd like."

"What!" Bill groaned. "I've always wanted to see an autostereogram poster with two eyes! Now here I am, stuck in a stupid meat body, and I don't even get to enjoy the only thing binocular vision is good for?"

Mabel patted his shoulder.

"Back home I've got a chair with autostereogram detailing. I've never actually seen it work. And where is it when I've got two eyes?"

"I think they've got Magic Vision books in the kids' section at the library," Mabel said. "Do you want me to check one out for you?"

Bill glared at the TV, silently fuming. Then he muttered, "Yeah. I'd like that. Thanks."

The low-stakes drama on Color Critters was resolved when Sunny asked Teddy Tender if he wanted to maybe hug or hold hands until he felt less sad, and Teddy revealed he felt bad because he was lonely when he hadn't had a play date with a friend in a while. Sunny and Teddy went to the playground together, the gray swings and slide and seesaw blooming orange and yellow as they played. Crisis of the day concluded. Prisma watched proudly, before joining in the play herself. Bill was not jealous of their freedom to go to the playground.

As the credits rolled, Mabel said, "There! Give me your hand!"

Bill stuck his right arm straight out to his side. "Why—?"

Mabel wrapped something thin around his wrist, and there was a quick tug as she tied it off. "Bam! You just got friendshipped!"

"What?" Bill pulled back his wrist to examine Mabel's handiwork. It was a bracelet made out of embroidery floss knotted together into a flat band as wide as his thumb. "What is this?" Stupid question.

"A friendship bracelet!" (Of course it was a friendship bracelet; he was passingly familiar with the art form, he'd seen it centuries before they were called "friendship" bracelets.) "Make a wish."

He wished to get his body back.

"You've gotta wear the bracelet until it breaks, and then the wish'll come true."

And if he believed that, he'd already be chewing through the knot. "And, why am I getting this?"

"Because we're friends!"

"Oh." Well. Yes. Obviously.

He examined the bracelet more closely. The band formed a zig-zag pattern of black and metallic gold triangles; and Mabel had tied glass beads that looked like eyes over several of the gold triangles.

"I didn't have every color simultaneously, but I thought the black would make the gold pop." Mabel pointed at the triangles. "Look! It's you."

"I can see that." She'd used nazar beads for the eyes—a dot of black ringed in blue and white. A little eye-shaped lucky charm humans had been using to ward off the evil eye for millennia. Cute. He laughed, pointing at the beads. "So is this supposed to protect me from the evil eye, or am I the evil eye you're protecting everyone else from?"

Mabel was thirteen. Mabel hadn't put any deeper thought into it than these look like eyes. All the same, Mabel didn't hesitate before replying: "I'm turning your face into a protective charm! Now you've got to keep everyone safe!"

"Oh." And that, too, Bill quietly filed away.

"I expect you to take your new job seriously," Mabel said, pointing at him. "Don't let me down!"

"You give me a gift with my face on it and then tack on a bunch of extra terms and conditions. Very slick, kid." He admired the bracelet. It really was a pretty fine offering. He hadn't been gifted textiles in a while. "But all right! I've never gone back on a deal before," lied Bill.

Though it galled him to get something without a way to pay back the favor. It felt uneven. People don't want a god who grants miracles worth less than the tribute he'd been offered. He ran down his usual list of tricks—he couldn't snap his fingers and summon up a dream gift, he didn't have any useful info he could offer without prompting an interrogation session with his jailers, right now he couldn't even call somebody else to pull some strings on her behalf... His gaze drifted over to Mabel's bag of embroidery threads. He could see beads and a couple more friendship bracelets inside. "How many of these are you making?"

"A bunch! I'm giving one out to each new friend I make this summer."

That'd do. "Teach me."

"You what?"

"Teach me." He turned around to face the couch and pointed toward the bag. "You're making them anyway, right? Just show me as you go."

Mabel stared at him in disbelief. Was he serious? She thought he was serious.

A broad smile stretched across her face. "Okay!" She dug beneath her supplies for a little dog-eared friendship bracelet pattern book. "What kind of jewelry making experience do you have? Especially involving beads or knots."

"I can tie a living creature's blood vessels into quipu knots that spell my name—all without breaking the skin!"

"That's great! Can you do it with embroidery floss instead of blood vessels."

Bill eyed the bundle of floss Mabel held out. "Yes."

"Perfect!" She shoved four thread colors in his hands, a pair of scissors, a jar of pony beads, thought better and quickly took back the scissors, and added a roll of parachute cord. "I'll teach you everything I know. Even my secret trick to keep the edges from going all wobbly! We'll start you on chevrons and then move up to teardrop loops and triangle ends." She put her hands on Bill's shoulders, looked him in his uncovered eye, and said, "I'm gonna make you a friendship bracelet master."

Solemnly, Bill said, "I'm ready."

####

Ford squinted blearily into the living room.

Sitting alone on the far side of the room, Bill was bent over the living room table, fussing with several multicolored strings and a few beads.

Bill glanced at Ford from the corner of his eye, and then—with a faint smirk—turned back to his project without a word. Oh, he wanted Ford to ask. He was dying for Ford to ask.

It was too early for this. Ford wasn't dealing with it before coffee. He shook his head and shuffled onward to the kitchen.

Stan was already up, eating eggs with some unidentified liquid meat poured over them. Over the past year, typically Ford had been the earlier riser; but this summer Stan had gotten used to Ford pulling late nights downstairs as he worked on his research, so he didn't comment on Ford's sleeping in as he poured himself a mug of coffee.

But Stan did look at Ford's face and immediately ask, "Okay. What's the latest Bill bullsh... soup? Bullsoup."

"He's..." Ford tried to figure out what Bill was doing. "Making jewelry in the living room, I think."

Stan grunted and nodded. "Yeah, he was doing that yesterday with Mabel."

"Well, now he's doing it by himself."

Stan raised a brow.

The Stans leaned around the living room doorway to watch Bill.

Bill was engrossed with picking out a mis-tied knot, frowning deeply in concentration, one eye squeezed shut and the other squinted. He smoothed out the thread, his face relaxed; and then he glanced at the doorway, did a double take, and his shoulders went up around his ears. "What am I, a zoo attraction? Shoo! Scat!" He waved them away. "I'll throw salt at you!"

Ford raised his palms defensively. Stan said, "Okay okay, we're going."

They retreated to the kitchen.

"Well?" Stan pressed. "Is he up to dangerous voodoo stuff?"

"I'm fairy certain Bill doesn't practice Vodou."

"Answer the question, smart aleck."

Ford ran through every form of magic incorporating strings or knots he could think of. It was a pretty short list, and most of it was used for protection or binding separate things together. "Not that I know of," he said dubiously. "But it's more likely he's up to something I don't know about than it is that he's doing arts and crafts. Don't you think?"

Stan considered that. He shrugged. "Eh," he said. "It can wait 'til after coffee."

Eh. Ford was tired. He didn't want to go to red alert over some string and plastic beads. He sat down with his mug.

####

"I'm home!" Mabel called. "Biiill, I couldn't get you a Magic Vision book! The pictures in Candy's closet started moving, and I don't know if we were hallucinating or if we accidentally summoned an invisible holographic horse you can only see when you cross your eyes, so we decided to burn the posters and library books to be safe! Do you know if Magic Vision Posters summon things...?"

"I wish," Bill said. "But hey, I've got something better. Gimme your hand."

Mabel held out her hand, half pulled it back, and said, "Why?"

"Relax." Bill grabbed her wrist, tied on a bracelet, and said, "Make a wish!" He grinned. "You're impressed, admit it. Tell me you're impressed."

Mabel studied the bracelet. "Whoa." Purple, green, and orange threads formed lacy loops around a central thread, forming an endless wave that rolled up and down. The threads passed through several star-shaped pony beads, making the wave look like the tails of shooting stars. "A Peruvian wave with a perfectly straight center cord. That takes crazy precise string tension." She looked at Bill. "I have nothing more to teach you."

"Thank you, teacher."

"Is this supposed to look like my sweater?" Mabel asked, studying the pink in the tassels tying the bracelet on. "The one on your zodiac thing?"

"Sure! You gave me one that looks like me, I gave you one that represents you. Friendship's supposed to go both ways, right?"

"Bill! Is this why you wanted to learn to make friendship bracelets?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"Biiill! You're being so nice!" Mabel flung her arms around him. "I love it!" And then she took off, running laps around the living room, cackling madly and waving her braceleted arm in the air. Abuelita, who'd been watching TV, calmly turned to watch Mabel zoom around.

Oh, this was great. Look at this, Bill was the best at being a friend. Everyone who'd ever ditched him was a moron who didn't know what they were missing out on. They could've gotten personalized friendship bracelets. Maybe he should have offered Ford a friendship bracelet? No, that was stupid, why would Ford prefer a friendship bracelet over unimaginable cosmic power. But then it didn't have to be either-or, did it? Ford's favorite color was red, what went with red?

When Mabel had gotten the enthusiasm out of her system, she trotted back out to the entryway and hugged Bill again. He endured it. "You won't stop making friendship bracelets now that you've made this, will you?" Mabel asked. "You're such a natural at it! And you need more hobbies that are constructive instead of destructive."

"Ouch, kid. I'll have you know I have plenty of constructive hobbies."

"I don't believe it. Name one thing you like creating."

"Weirdness bubbles."

"Name one thing you like creating that doesn't terrify people."

Bill pursed his lips. "Agree to disagree. Anyway, I'm not getting out of the friendship bracelet game just yet. In fact, I've already got another few projects in mind."

####

Bill plopped down at the kitchen table across from Mabel. "Hey star girl. Guess what."

She looked up from her cereal at the dark rings under Bill's eyes. He had one eye squeezed shut; he could usually keep both open when he'd just woken up. "Were you up all night?"

"Doesn't matter. Time is an illusion and I can see the projector. I'm counting that as your guess. Look." Bill tossed two matching bracelets down on the table between them, deep watermelon pink and minty green, shaped like macrame chains with hearts where each link of the chain met.

"Aww, little hearts."

"Thought you'd like the hearts."

Mabel picked up one end of the bracelet and slipped it on—and then noticed the long coil of embroidery floss connecting the end of one bracelet to the other. "Bill? What's this for?"

"Didn't you say a few days ago that you wished we could go outside together? I thought up a perfect solution!"

With a sudden sense of dread, Mabel realized that the chain pattern and the string connecting the bracelets made them look like an extremely long pair of handcuffs; but before she could take off her half, Bill picked up the other bracelet and said, "There's a little magic in these, look. When both ends are being worn—" He slipped on the bracelet, and Mabel felt its matching pair gently tighten around her wrist. The string connecting them vanished into thin air.

Mabel gasped. "What—?"

"Poof! It's like a ghost: still there, but invisible to human eyes. We could even go into separate rooms and it'll connect us through the walls." He demonstrated by waving his hand under the table. "But we can't get farther apart than the length of the thread. I gave it about ten yards." He plucked up something invisible and gave it a tug, and Mabel felt the bracelet go taut against her wrist. There was no force, no matter how hard Bill tugged she didn't feel like the bracelet was pulling her; rather, it felt like the other end of the thread was tied to an immobile boulder preventing her from moving further away, until she moved her hand closer to Bill's to give the thread a little slack. "And..."

Mabel tried to jerk the bracelet off her wrist; it stuck around her hand. "How do I get it off?! Bill—!"

Bill put a finger on her hand, stopping her. He said, "Neither of us can take our end off until we both decide we're ready. Like... now." He winked; and the bracelet suddenly loosened again.

Mabel pulled it off with a sigh of relief.

"Unless one of us dies or something, I guess," Bill said thoughtfully. "That'd deactivate the magic. It'd be pretty gristly to have to keep sharing a friendship bracelet with a corpse!" He laughed. "Anyway—"

Mabel chucked the bracelet in his face. "That was mean!"

Bill blinked in surprise. "What was?"

"You tricked me!" She cradled her wrist against her chest, heart still pounding from the brief unexpected captivity.

"I did not!" He took the bracelets back and started coiling up the thread between them. "You put yours on before I even said anything."

"But you could have warned me before you got us stuck together!"

"Sure, I could have, but would you have kept it on then?"

"No, you jerk. That's the point!" She looked around for something else to chuck at Bill's face, plucked a dry piece of cereal from her bowl, and flicked it at his nose.

Bill endured his punishment without flinching. "Well, sorry, but I had to demonstrate how they work somehow." He twirled the bracelets around one fingertip. "This solves your whole 'can't let the big scary triangle out unsupervised' problem! Slap these bad boys on, and I've got automatic supervision that I can't escape! Maybe this'll convince the adults that I can be trusted outside, right?" He ate the piece of cereal. "So? What do you think?"

She thought he was still a jerk. All the same, she studied the chain bracelets. "Did you just make me a gift that's actually a gift for yourself?"

He didn't even look a little bit ashamed. "I prefer to think of it as something we'll both benefit from!"

"Bill."

"C'mooon. You know you want me out there." He lowered his voice. "Who else in this town will help you break into the pet shop to dye the dogs' fur?"

Oooh. Mabel should not have told Bill about that ambition. "Well..."

"Or help you grill hamburgers with sprinkles. You know Stanley's never gonna do that for us again," Bill said. "Or what if you need a drive somewhere, huh? The guys with licenses are gonna get tired of trips to the craft store eventually."

"You can't drive!"

"Of course I can drive, didn't you see me during—?" Bill's eyes widened. "Oh no, you didn't see! I can't believe you didn't see my car. You, you would have loved it."

He seemed serious. Maybe he could drive. "You... shouldn't get to drive."

"What if it's an emergency and I'm the only one who can do it. Do you want me in the driver's seat with or without a leash?" He spread his hands in a shrug. "And anyway... think of everything else we could be doing together outside. Purple poodles and pink pugs are just the start, my friend."

Mabel hated when she knew she was being manipulated but Bill still made a good point. She bit her lip and glanced at the clock over the sink. A tour had just started; the gift shop should be empty and the vending machine safe to use.

She got out of her seat, taking her cereal with her. "I'm gonna run this by the household magic expert."

Bill rolled his eye. "Fine. Tell Sixer we're out of apple cider."

####

"Tell Bill we got three packs last time," Ford said. "If that's not enough to hold him one week between grocery trips, then he has a drinking problem."

"Okay, but what about the bracelets?"

Ford set aside the book he'd been reading and studied the bracelets. He slipped one on his wrist. "Mabel, would you mind putting on the other side?"

"Sure!" She pulled on the bracelet. It tightened around Ford's wrist and the thread between them disappeared. Fascinating.

After a few minutes of experimenting to see how they worked, Ford was fairly sure this was a spell he'd learned about years ago, although he'd lost the details when he tossed his second journal in the bottomless pit. Usually it was done with metal chains—but the spell should make the bracelets nigh on indestructible while the magic was active, so, as promised, it would contain Bill. As long as he didn't murder the person on the other end of the spell.

"So can I take Bill outside?" Mabel asked, hands laced together and eyes wide. "Please please please?"

"You did hear what I just said about murder, right?"

"We'll bring someone else along! Bill wouldn't try to kill me if someone else is standing guard!" (At least she still recognized that there were circumstances where Bill would try to kill her.) "He's been stuck inside for weeks. That's not healthy! He needs to stretch his legs, get some sunshine!" She smacked Ford's desk as a thought occurred to her, "And we need to take him clothes shopping. I can tell he's uncomfortable in gift shop t-shirts and Abuelita's skirts. Does he even like skirts?" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Does he even have underwear, or is he still wearing Soos's old swim trunks?"

Ford winced. "Melody was kind enough to pick some up a few days ago." But he could admit it had taken them longer than it should have.

"What about the rest of his clothes? Does he have a bra?"

"Wh—" Ford sputtered. "Does he want one?"

"I don't know, I haven't asked. It might be more comfortable. He has a lot of chest."

Lord. Ford closed his eyes. He did not want to think about bras.

"Pleeease?" Mabel said. "I wanna take him clothes shopping. He's probably never explored human fashion before! He's got to find his style. I can be his style consultant."

Aha. So that was what Mabel was getting out of all this: a person-sized dress-up doll.

Truth be told, they probably should take Bill outside. Depending on how Fiddleford's research proceeded, destroying Bill could take weeks, if not months. If there were ever an emergency, they might need to relocate Bill quickly—so it was better to ensure the bracelets worked as advertised before they became necessary.

"Fine. But this won't be a regular thing," Ford said. "Ask Stan when he can go. And your brother—I'd rather Bill know the numbers are stacked against him. And he's not allowed to talk to anybody outside the shack. You, Dipper, and Stan will have to intercept anybody he might speak to."

"Don't worry about that! I've got the perfect solution," Mabel said. "What if Grunkle Stan doesn't want to go?"

"Ask him to talk to me. I think I can convey the importance."

"You don't want to come? Are you too busy figuring out how to kill him?" Mabel's gaze moved to the books Ford had been reading.

Ford suppressed the urge to shut the books and hide the papers beside them. Mabel wouldn't be able to understand the books anyway: it was an ancient Roman historian's description of augury—fortunetelling with birds—and a Latin reference dictionary he was consulting to help him translate. He was more afraid Mabel's gaze would fall on the pages next to the books, where a few vocabulary words from the mystical, mythical language of the birds had been scrawled out in Bill's distinctive chicken scratch.

No, Ford wasn't busy figuring out how to kill Bill. He was still waiting to hear back from Fiddleford about the feasibility of synthesizing or replacing the quantum destabilizer's Dontium; and, in the meantime, he'd allowed himself to believe there was nothing else he could do on his own... and by now, he'd gotten thoroughly distracted. Going through Bill's notes, verifying his claims, following up on the leads he'd subtly slid in. Bill's miniature grimoire was the most dense magical text since the Emerald Tablet. Opening it up was like a cryptography puzzle mixed with a dissertation research project, and each sentence was a fractal flower of information, a bud that bloomed into a dozen more buds that each bloomed into a dozen more.

It was amazing. Enthralling. This was the kind of research Ford was made for. He was the most relaxed he'd been in weeks.

He hadn't told anybody what he was doing while Fiddleford worked.

"No, not that," he told Mabel, "I just don't want to spend time around Bill. Especially on what's essentially a social trip. Stanley can... handle it better."

"Oh," Mabel said. "That makes sense, I guess."

Ford glanced uneasily at Bill's papers, then looked away before Mabel could see.

He was so caught up in his own shame at getting caught toeing at one of Bill's traps, he didn't notice the quick shameful look on Mabel's face for the same reason.

####

(Thanks for reading! Please drop a comment or reblog if you enjoyed, y'all's commentary is what helps keep me writing. ❤️

Also I feel like Google translate can handle the Latin pretty well if you wanna see what Bill's saying at the start, but it's important to me that you know Google is wrong about "quadrum defututum" and it can actually be more accurately translated as "you square slut.")

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #mabel pines #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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onwardmagicprincessselfship · 6 months ago

Text

Roger/Henry J. Waternoose IV Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and Fluff Headcanons:

Roger was obviously in a psychologically abusive relationship with his father

He has a very healthy relationship with his mom and she is quite the doting mother who DEFINITELY coddles him...A LOT

It's canonically proven that mentioning his real name triggers the memory of being perceived as being just as awful as his dad but likely triggers the psychological abuse his dad burdened him with

His mom and dad had a VERY rocky relationship and his mom filed a divorce towards her husband after the whole "kidnapping children" incident and took full custody of Roger

Roger would frequently have nightmares about his dad regarding the psychological abuse he'd been through

Most likely the psychological abuse still takes a toll on Roger that his dad may have blackmailed him to do his bidding regardless of the fact of Roger regretting it

Being with the MIFT team helps him cope with his trauma, especially looking up to Fritz as the father he never had

Roger and Duncan likely bond over the fact of both of them being Mamma's boys

When he's not working at Monsters Inc., Roger works a part-time job as a safari guide at the Monstropolis Zoo (which this headcanon is likely inspired by the fact his VA plays a field guide in both Jumaji movies)

Roger has a HUGE collection of personilized collectable keys

Even though he won't admit it, Duncan actually enjoys singing along to the songs that Roger sings but prefers to do it in private in his "secret office" away from his fellow MIFTers that only Smitty and Needleman know about that he prefers that they would not say a word about it

#monsters at work #roger rogers #henry j waternoose iv #duncan p anderson #monsters at work headcanons

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funnywildlife · 2 years ago

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Cheetah Love! Zimanga Private Game Reserve, SA by conservation #wildographer & super guide @rangerkidafrica. * #Instafollow him for regular updates, enquire about prints and safari ideas. http://www.rangerkid.net * #Wildography #wildlifephotography #featurewildographer #cheetah #jonwarbuton #rangerkidafrica (at Zimanga Private Game Reserve) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clvhe9KAGvG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#wildographer #instafollow #wildography #wildlifephotography #featurewildographer #cheetah #jonwarbuton #rangerkidafrica

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blackhistorystoryteller · 1 year ago

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Title: "Exploring African Hunting Culture: Traditions, Challenges, and Conservation

Introduction:

African hunting culture is a rich and diverse tapestry that weaves through the continent's history, ecology, and societies. Rooted in centuries-old traditions, it encompasses a wide range of practices, from subsistence hunting for survival to trophy hunting as a sport. This article delves into the multifaceted world of African hunting culture, highlighting its cultural significance, the challenges it faces, and the ongoing efforts for conservation.

A Rich Tapestry of Traditions:

Africa is home to a vast array of ethnic groups, each with its own unique hunting traditions. These practices are deeply intertwined with local customs, beliefs, and spirituality. For many indigenous communities, hunting is not just a means of acquiring food but a vital cultural expression. The use of traditional hunting tools and techniques, like spears, bows, and traps, continues to be an essential part of their heritage.

Subsistence Hunting:

Subsistence hunting is a common practice across the African continent. In rural areas, where access to commercial sources of food may be limited, hunting provides a vital source of protein and sustenance. Communities rely on their knowledge of the land and wildlife to harvest game responsibly, ensuring the sustainability of their resources. This balance between nature and necessity underscores the importance of respecting wildlife for survival.

Trophy Hunting:

Trophy hunting, a more controversial aspect of African hunting culture, involves the pursuit and killing of animals for sport and the collection of trophies, such as horns or skins. While it can generate revenue for local communities and conservation efforts, it has also faced criticism for ethical and conservation reasons. Many African countries have implemented strict regulations to manage and monitor trophy hunting to mitigate negative impacts on wildlife populations.

Conservation Challenges:

African wildlife has faced significant challenges due to habitat loss, poaching, and the illegal wildlife trade. The intricate relationship between hunting culture and conservation is evident in the struggle to protect endangered species while acknowledging the cultural importance of hunting. Conservation organizations work tirelessly to strike a balance by implementing measures to protect threatened species and their habitats.

Modern Influences:

In the modern era, African hunting culture has been influenced by global forces. Tourism, including wildlife safaris, has become a booming industry, providing alternatives to traditional hunting practices and contributing to conservation efforts. Additionally, changing perceptions of hunting, both locally and globally, have prompted a reevaluation of hunting practices and their impact on ecosystems.

Conservation Efforts:

Across the continent, initiatives to conserve African wildlife are gaining momentum. National parks, reserves, and private conservancies play a crucial role in safeguarding habitats and species. Anti-poaching efforts, community-based conservation programs, and responsible hunting practices have emerged as essential strategies to ensure the sustainability of African ecosystems.

African hunting culture is a multifaceted and evolving aspect of the continent's heritage. While it carries deep cultural significance and provides for many communities, it also faces challenges related to conservation and ethical considerations. Striking a balance between cultural preservation, sustainability, and responsible hunting practices is an ongoing process, guided by a commitment to protect Africa's remarkable biodiversity for generations to come.

Hunting practices among African tribes vary widely depending on the specific region, culture, and available resources. Traditional hunting methods are often passed down through generations and are adapted to the local environment and the animals being pursued. Here are some common hunting techniques employed by various African tribes:

1. **Spear Hunting:** Spear hunting is one of the oldest and most widespread hunting methods in Africa. Tribes such as the Maasai in East Africa are known for their skill in using spears to hunt animals like lions and giraffes. This method requires getting close to the prey and using a well-aimed throw or thrust to kill it.

2. **Bow and Arrow:** The use of bows and arrows is prevalent among many African tribes. The San people, for example, are known for their exceptional tracking skills and proficiency in hunting with poisoned arrows. This method allows hunters to maintain some distance from their prey.

3. **Traps and Snares:** Various tribes set up traps and snares to catch small to medium-sized game. These can be constructed from natural materials like branches, vines, and ropes. When an animal triggers the trap, it captures the prey.

4. **Pitfalls:** Some tribes dig pits and cover them with branches and leaves to create pitfalls for animals. Once an animal falls into the pit, it becomes trapped and can be killed by the hunters.

5. **Hunting Dogs:** In some regions, like the central African rainforests, tribes use hunting dogs to track and corner prey. The hunters then finish the job using spears or other weapons.

6. **Blow Darts:** Certain tribes, like the Pygmies in Central Africa, use blow darts with poison-tipped tips to silently kill small game and birds.

7. **Net Hunting:** Nets are used by several tribes to encircle and capture birds, small mammals, and even fish in rivers and lakes. The nets can be set up in a variety of ways to suit the hunting environment.

8. **Hunting with Falcons and Other Birds of Prey:** In some North African and Middle Eastern regions, including parts of Morocco, hunting with trained falcons and other birds of prey is a long-standing tradition, though not exclusive to Africa.

9. **Cultural and Spiritual Practices:** For many African tribes, hunting is not just about acquiring food but is deeply intertwined with cultural and spiritual beliefs. Rituals and ceremonies often accompany hunting expeditions to seek blessings or guidance from ancestors or spirits.

It's important to note that as African societies have modernized, some traditional hunting practices have given way to more contemporary methods and conservation efforts. Many African countries have implemented wildlife protection laws and sustainable hunting practices to ensure the survival of their native fauna and the preservation of their cultural heritage.

#life #animals #culture #aesthetic #black history #history #blm blacklivesmatter #anime and manga #architecture #black community #hunting

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poapoatours · 29 days ago

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Explore the Ultimate Tanzania Luxury Safari Experience with PoaPoa Tours

Tanzania is a land of diverse landscapes, from vast savannas and towering mountains to lush forests and pristine beaches. For travelers seeking an unforgettable, high-end experience, a Tanzania luxury safari offers the perfect blend of adventure and comfort. PoaPoa Tours is your gateway to exploring this East African gem in style, offering personalized itineraries and luxury accommodations that will leave you in awe.

Why Choose a Tanzania Luxury Safari?

A luxury safari in Tanzania is more than just game drives—it’s a full immersion into the heart of nature, combined with exclusive services. Whether you’re looking to witness the Great Wildebeest Migration in Serengeti, explore the stunning Ngorongoro Crater, or relax in a 5-star lodge after a thrilling day, PoaPoa Tours ensures every aspect of your journey is meticulously planned for your comfort.

Here are a few reasons why a Tanzania luxury safari should be on your bucket list:

Exclusive Lodging: Stay in world-class lodges or tented camps that offer high-end amenities, fine dining, and breathtaking views of Tanzania's wildlife right from your room.

Personalized Safari Experiences: With private guides, you can create your own itinerary, whether you want to focus on bird watching, photography, or witnessing the “Big Five.”

Unforgettable Wildlife Encounters: Watch elephants, lions, leopards, and giraffes in their natural habitat, all while enjoying premium service and accommodations.

Highlights of PoaPoa Tours’ Tanzania Luxury Safari

At PoaPoa Tours, we craft bespoke Tanzania safari experiences tailored to your preferences. Below are some of the key highlights that make our luxury safaris stand out:

Serengeti National Park: Known for the Great Wildebeest Migration, Serengeti is a must-visit for anyone seeking the ultimate safari experience. Enjoy the luxury of private game drives and exclusive lodges within the park.

Ngorongoro Crater: Stay in lodges perched on the edge of this UNESCO World Heritage Site, offering unmatched views and opportunities for game viewing.

Tarangire National Park: Famous for its large elephant herds, Tarangire offers a unique mix of lush landscapes and luxury accommodations.

Private Bush Dinners and Hot Air Balloon Rides: Make your safari even more special with private dining experiences under the African stars or a hot air balloon safari at sunrise.

Custom Luxury Packages: Whether you’re planning a family getaway, honeymoon, or solo adventure, PoaPoa Tours offers custom luxury safari packages that fit your desires and schedule.

Focus on Sustainability and Community

At PoaPoa Tours, we believe that luxury and sustainability go hand in hand. Our eco-friendly camps and lodges ensure minimal environmental impact while providing a high standard of comfort. Additionally, we support local communities through various initiatives, ensuring that your trip not only leaves a positive impact on you but also on Tanzania's people and wildlife.

Suggested Itineraries for a Tanzania Luxury Safari

10-Day Luxury Safari & Zanzibar Escape: Explore Serengeti, Ngorongoro Crater, and the pristine beaches of Zanzibar. This package combines wildlife with relaxation.

7-Day Luxury Serengeti & Ngorongoro Experience: Perfect for those who want a deeper immersion in Tanzania's most famous wildlife destinations.

14-Day Tanzania & Kenya Combined Safari: For the ultimate African adventure, this cross-border luxury safari covers both Tanzania and Kenya’s best national parks.

Why Book with PoaPoa Tours?

With decades of experience in providing top-tier safari experiences, PoaPoa Tours is your trusted partner for a luxury safari in Tanzania. Our expert guides, luxury accommodations, and commitment to sustainability make us the ideal choice for discerning travelers.

Book your Tanzania luxury safari with PoaPoa Tours today and embark on a journey you’ll never forget!

#TanzaniaLuxurySafari #ExploreTanzania #PoaPoaTours #LuxurySafari #AfricanSafari #SerengetiSafari #NgorongoroCrater #BigFiveSafari #SustainableTourism #SafariExperience

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serengetiwildtours · 1 month ago

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Why You Should Go For The Serengeti Safari Package?

One definitely cannot miss the excitement of a Serengeti safari, with an unblinking view of Africa's most emblematic wildlife and landscapes. Needless to say, tourism flow to Tanzania safari tours continues to attract all kinds of visitors due to their diversity and variety. Whether you want to be driven to pamper your luxury or you are a full-fledged adventure, this will be one of the best ways of experiencing it all.

Serengeti Safari Packages: Heart of Wildlife Expedition

Serengeti National Park is found in the Northern safari circuit and presents any world-class safari lover with an excellent opportunity. It's considered one of the best locations to witness the great renowned Great Migration along the open plains. Serengeti safari package ranges from being taken to prime game viewing areas accompanied by guides. Among other things included in these packages include: accommodations and meals, guided game drives, walking safaris, and other special activities like balloon rides.

Why Tanzania Safari Tours?

The good number of national parks and reserves brings Tanzania in the fantasy list of most safari travellers. A wide variety of choices is possible in Tanzania safari tours whether you want to target specific activities such as bird watching, photography, or experience the Maasai culture.

Deals in Luxurious Comforts and Wilderness

Even in the remote Serengeti, safari packages can be very pricey. For safari travel adventures, luxury lodges and elite tented camps are available. Those who enjoy meeting the wild do not have to forgo comforts. Most packages offer gourmet food, private game drives, and professional guides, so all the hassle gets removed from your safari adventure.

Tailored to Various Budgets

Luxury safaris are a destination many want to visit; however, there are also budget-oriented packages when it comes to Tanzania safari tours. Affordable Serengeti packages offer group tours with shared accommodations and expert guiding services so you don't miss any of the magic of the Serengeti. A Serengeti safari package, along with the rich biodiversity in Tanzania, would be an experience where you'll come face-to-face with the grandeur of nature.

#Serengeti Safari Package #serengeti safari #serengeti national park #tanzania safari #safari in serengeti #budget serengeti safari #african safari

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suncitytours · 10 months ago

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Sun City Tours: Your Gateway to Diverse Desert Adventures in Dubai

Embark on a journey where every desert adventure is tailor-made to cater to your wildest exploration dreams. Sun City Tours introduces a collection of Dubai Desert Safari Tours, blending luxury and thrill seamlessly. Let's unravel the diverse offerings that promise a distinctive narrative within the expansive desert canvas.

Commence your day with the Morning Desert Safari at 8:00 am, a swift 3-4-hour escape into the enchanting desert magic. Feel the adrenaline rush with heart-pounding dune bashing, visit a serene camel farm, indulge in camel rides, try your hand at sandboarding, and seize the mesmerizing morning light in unforgettable snapshots.

For those craving a personalized touch, our Private Desert Safari Dubai at 3:00 pm epitomizes elegance. Experience Dune Bashing, camel farm tours, and exotic belly dance performances in an exclusive desert camp. Savor a sumptuous BBQ with a range of salads, vegetarian and non-vegetarian options, complemented by Jain Food upon request. The ambiance is elevated with Arabic carpets and cushions, creating a cozy atmosphere. For the curious, a shisha experience awaits.

As the sun begins its descent, immerse yourself in our Evening Desert Safari, a seven-hour spectacle starting at 3:30 pm. Feel the thrill of a Dune Rollercoaster ride at Big Red Dubai Desert, visit camel farms, embark on a camel trek, engage in sandboarding, and relish a delectable BBQ dinner. Indulge in henna drawings, don Emirati costumes, and enjoy unlimited tea, coffee, mineral water, and soft drinks.

Sun worshippers, rejoice in our Sunrise Desert Safari, a tailor-made experience for you. Revel in the stunning beauty of the desert with an early morning safari, featuring sensational sunrise views, exhilarating dune drives, sand skiing, a tranquil camel caravan, and more.

For an extraordinary experience, choose our VIP Desert Safari, promising exceptional white-glove service and renowned Arabian hospitality. Immerse your guests in a commitment to excellence, ensuring they feel valued and appreciated throughout the VIP adventure.

Embark on a thrilling Camel Desert Safari, where majestic camels guided by knowledgeable locals await. Enjoy return transfers, exhilarating sandboarding, a camel farm tour, and refreshing beverages, creating an authentic and unforgettable desert adventure for couples and families.

For seamless exploration, Sun City Tours proudly collaborates with prominent cruise liners, offering exclusive shore excursions at Dubai Cruise Terminal in Dubai Harbor. Our dedicated team guarantees a safe and enjoyable exploration of Dubai's wonders

#SunCityDesertAdventures #DubaiDesertSafari #LuxuryThrills #DesertMagic #VIPExperience #SunriseSerena #PrivateSafari #CamelAdventure #EveningExtravaganza #MorningMagic #DesertDreams #UniqueDesertExperience

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greatdaytourism · 1 month ago

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Private Dubai Shopping Tour: Explore Modern & Historical Markets

Explore Dubai’s vibrant markets with Great Day Tourism on a Private Dubai Shopping Tour. Discover both modern malls and historical souks, guided by expert Great Day Tourism guides. Perfect for shoppers seeking unique finds, this tour offers a personalized experience. Pair it with Dubai desert safari packages or a Dubai private city tour for a complete adventure. Rated highly on Tripadvisor and Klook, our tours promise an unforgettable shopping and sightseeing experience. Book now with Great Tourism!

#get your guide dubai #dubai desert safari #great day tourism guides #klook desert safari dubai #tripadvisor dubai desert #dubai private city tour #great tourism #dubai desert safari packages

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desertsafari67 · 2 months ago

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Top Desert Adventures in Dubai for 2024

Dubai, a dazzling gem of the United Arab Emirates, is renowned for its opulent lifestyle and futuristic skyline. However, beyond its urban splendor lies a stunning natural wonder—the desert. The vast expanse of golden sands offers an array of thrilling adventures that make for an unforgettable experience. As we step into 2024, Dubai’s desert scene is more exciting than ever, with new activities and refined experiences promising adventure seekers an unparalleled journey into the heart of the desert.

1. Dune Bashing: A High-Octane Thrill

One of the most exhilarating desert activities is dune bashing. This high-octane sport involves driving a 4x4 vehicle over the undulating sand dunes, creating a thrilling roller-coaster-like experience. In 2024, the experience has been enhanced with state-of-the-art vehicles and advanced safety measures. Expert drivers navigate the dunes, providing passengers with an adrenaline-pumping ride.

For those looking to combine dune bashing with other activities, many tour operators offer packages that include sandboarding, camel rides, and more. Whether you’re a first-timer or a seasoned adventurer, dune bashing remains a must-do in Dubai’s desert landscape.

2. Sandboarding: Glide Through the Sands

For a more serene yet equally thrilling experience, sandboarding is an excellent choice. Much like snowboarding, sandboarding involves riding a board down sand dunes. The sport has gained popularity due to its accessibility and the unique sensation of gliding over sand.

In 2024, sandboarding in Dubai offers new equipment and enhanced safety features. Some operators provide guided sandboarding experiences on the highest and most picturesque dunes. It’s an ideal activity for families, solo travelers, and adventure enthusiasts alike.

3. Camel Riding: A Timeless Desert Experience

Camel riding is a traditional desert experience that provides a taste of ancient Bedouin culture. These majestic creatures, often referred to as the “ships of the desert,” offer a slow, swaying ride that allows you to take in the serene desert landscape.

In 2024, camel riding experiences have been upgraded with comfort and safety in mind. Operators now offer camel safaris that include cultural insights, traditional attire, and the chance to enjoy a desert sunset. It’s a peaceful and picturesque way to connect with the desert’s timeless beauty.

4. Overnight Desert Safaris: A Starry Escape

For those seeking an immersive desert experience, overnight desert safaris are a perfect choice. These safaris typically include a range of activities, such as dune bashing, sandboarding, camel rides, and a sumptuous barbecue dinner under the stars.

In 2024, overnight safaris have become even more luxurious, with upgraded camp amenities. Many tours now feature deluxe tents with air-conditioning, private bathrooms, and plush bedding. The evening is filled with entertainment, including traditional dance performances and stargazing opportunities. It’s a unique way to experience the desert’s tranquility and beauty.

5. Hot Air Ballooning: A Bird’s Eye View

For a breathtaking view of the desert landscape, hot air ballooning is a must-try adventure. Rising with the sun, you’ll float above the vast expanse of golden dunes, taking in panoramic views of the desert as it wakes up.

In 2024, hot air ballooning in Dubai has become even more accessible with improved safety standards and more frequent flights. Balloon rides typically include a light breakfast and a celebratory toast upon landing. It’s a serene yet exhilarating experience that provides a unique perspective of the desert’s beauty.

6. Quad Biking: An Off-Road Adventure

For those who prefer a more hands-on approach to desert exploration, quad biking offers an exciting off-road adventure. Quad bikes allow you to navigate the rugged desert terrain, providing a thrilling ride across the dunes.

In 2024, quad biking experiences are more advanced, with new and improved bikes that offer greater control and safety. Many operators provide guided tours that lead you through the most scenic and challenging areas of the desert. It’s an ideal choice for thrill-seekers and adventure enthusiasts looking for a more active experience.

7. Desert Yoga: Serenity in the Sands

For a unique blend of adventure and tranquility, desert yoga offers a serene escape in the heart of the desert. Practicing yoga against the backdrop of golden sands and endless skies is a calming and rejuvenating experience.

In 2024, desert yoga has become more popular, with experienced instructors offering sessions tailored to various skill levels. The practice often includes meditation and mindfulness techniques, enhancing the overall experience. It’s a perfect way to reconnect with nature and find inner peace amidst the desert’s vast expanse.

8. Cultural and Culinary Experiences: Taste of Tradition

Dubai’s desert adventures also extend to cultural and culinary experiences that provide insight into Bedouin life and traditional Emirati cuisine. Many desert tours include visits to authentic Bedouin camps, where you can enjoy traditional dishes, partake in cultural performances, and learn about desert life.

In 2024, these cultural experiences have been enhanced with more interactive and immersive activities. You might find yourself participating in traditional crafts, learning to cook Emirati dishes, or enjoying live music and dance performances. It’s a delightful way to experience the rich heritage of the desert.

9. Astronomy Tours: Stargazing in the Desert

The clear, unpolluted skies of the desert make it an ideal location for stargazing. Astronomy tours offer a fascinating way to explore the night sky, with expert guides providing insights into the constellations and celestial phenomena.

In 2024, astronomy tours in Dubai’s desert have become more sophisticated, featuring advanced telescopes and interactive experiences. These tours often include educational presentations and opportunities to observe planets, stars, and galaxies. It’s an enchanting way to connect with the cosmos while enjoying the desert’s serene ambiance.

10. Desert Racing: Speed and Skill

For those with a competitive spirit, desert racing offers an adrenaline-pumping challenge. Desert racing events, including dune races and rally-style competitions, test speed and skill on the challenging desert terrain.

In 2024, desert racing in Dubai has gained international recognition, with more events and improved facilities. These races attract top drivers from around the world, making for an exciting spectator sport. If you’re a racing enthusiast or looking to participate, Dubai’s desert racing scene is more thrilling than ever.

Conclusion

Dubai’s desert offers a diverse range of adventures that cater to every type of thrill-seeker and nature lover. From the adrenaline rush of dune bashing to the serenity of desert yoga, the experiences available in 2024 promise to be unforgettable. Whether you’re looking to explore the desert’s natural beauty, immerse yourself in its cultural heritage, or simply enjoy a luxurious escape, Dubai’s desert adventures have something for everyone. So, gear up and get ready to discover the magic of Dubai’s desert in 2024.

#desert safari #dubai desert safari #dubai city tour #vip desert safari #Private Desert Safari

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baronsvilla · 4 months ago

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Top Luxury Resorts In Ernakulam

Barons Villa stands as a paragon among the top luxury resorts in Ernakulam, offering an unparalleled blend of opulence, comfort, and natural beauty. Renowned for its exquisite design, exceptional service, and commitment to sustainability, Barons Villa provides guests with an unforgettable experience that perfectly harmonizes luxury and nature.

Exquisite Accommodations

The accommodations at Barons Villa redefine luxury. Each room, suite, and villa is meticulously designed to provide the utmost comfort and elegance. The interiors feature a blend of modern aesthetics and traditional elements, using high-quality materials like polished wood, marble, and local art. Large windows and private balconies offer stunning views of the surrounding landscapes, allowing guests to immerse themselves in the beauty of Ernakulam without leaving their rooms. State-of-the-art amenities, plush furnishings, and personalized services ensure that every stay is a memorable one.

World-Class Amenities

Barons Villa offers a range of world-class amenities designed to cater to the diverse needs of its guests. The resort boasts multiple swimming pools, including an infinity pool with breathtaking views of the natural surroundings. A fully equipped fitness center, complete with modern exercise equipment and professional trainers, allows guests to maintain their fitness regimes. For those seeking relaxation, the spa offers a variety of treatments and therapies using organic and locally sourced products. The wellness center also features yoga and meditation sessions held in serene garden settings.

Culinary Excellence

Dining at Barons Villa is a gastronomic journey that reflects the rich culinary heritage of Kerala. The resort’s restaurants offer a diverse array of dishes, from traditional Kerala cuisine to international gourmet delights. Emphasizing fresh, local ingredients, the culinary team crafts menus that celebrate the region’s flavors and traditions. Guests can dine in elegant indoor settings or choose al fresco options with views of the lush landscape. The resort also offers private dining experiences for special occasions, ensuring a personalized and intimate dining experience.

Scenic Beauty and Outdoor Activities

The scenic beauty surrounding Barons Villa is one of its most compelling features. Nestled amidst verdant hills, forests, and water bodies, the resort provides a tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle of city life. Guests can explore the natural surroundings through a variety of outdoor activities. Guided nature walks and hiking trails offer opportunities to discover the local flora and fauna, while water-based activities like kayaking and boating provide a unique perspective of the area’s natural beauty. For adventure enthusiasts, the resort organizes excursions and safaris that delve into the heart of Ernakulam’s wilderness.

Sustainable Luxury

Barons Villa is committed to sustainability, implementing eco-friendly practices across its operations. The resort employs renewable energy sources, such as solar panels, to reduce its carbon footprint. Water conservation measures, including rainwater harvesting and wastewater recycling, are integral to its operations. Waste management practices focus on reduction, reuse, and recycling, minimizing the resort’s environmental impact. These initiatives ensure that Barons Villa not only provides luxury but also promotes environmental stewardship, preserving the natural beauty of Ernakulam for future generations.

Cultural Immersion

Ernakulam is rich in culture and history, and Barons Villa offers guests the chance to immerse themselves in the local heritage. The resort organizes cultural tours and experiences, including visits to nearby historical sites, traditional dance performances, and culinary workshops. These activities provide guests with a deeper understanding of the local culture and traditions, enriching their stay at Barons Villa.

Personalized Services

At Barons Villa, personalized service is a hallmark. The dedicated staff is trained to anticipate and cater to the individual needs of each guest, ensuring a seamless and luxurious experience. From personalized welcome amenities to bespoke itineraries, every detail is carefully curated to exceed guest expectations. The concierge service is available around the clock, ready to assist with any requests, be it arranging transportation, booking excursions, or providing local recommendations.

Conclusion

Barons Villa epitomizes the essence of luxury and hospitality, making it one of the top luxury resorts in Ernakulam. Its exceptional accommodations, world-class amenities, and stunning natural surroundings provide an idyllic retreat for discerning travelers. Whether seeking relaxation, adventure, or cultural immersion, guests at Barons Villa can indulge in a truly unique and memorable experience. By combining luxury with sustainability and personalized service, Barons Villa sets a new standard for luxury resorts in Ernakulam, offering an unparalleled escape into the heart of Kerala's natural beauty and cultural richness.

#homestay #resort #luxury resort #travel #tourism

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bobbinacrossafricatake2 · 5 months ago

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Oh what a beautiful morning!

June 7 & 8, 2024

Our last two mornings on safari and we did ok (to say the least). On departure day from Cherero, We had breakfast scheduled for 6:30 AM, and since we’re obsessively punctual, we finished getting ready in the room and headed to the common area. One of the security guys met us part way, and escorted us not to the main tent, but to a freshly cut plot out in the plain. The table was beautifully set, and there we had a yummy breakfast as the sun rose in the distance. Wow. Our hosts bid us farewell and Anaeli made a point of letting us know that the team has been together for about a year. It’s unusual not to have more turnover. Their synchronization showed. We headed out across the plain, slowly toward the airstrip for our hand over to the Namiri Plains Camp folks. The high grasses looked particularly beautiful in the golden light of morning, soon to be eaten as the migration makes its way to Morumba Plain. It made us think of the Oklahoma song: Oh what a beautiful morning - just with grass vice corn! We also noticed, as we have all along in the Serengeti, the scale of the many flowers - tiny pops of color - scattered against the vastness of the plains. As we crossed via the secondary roads on our way to the primary road, we spotted various animals just waking up. Along the remainder of the drive, a lion giraffes, antelopes, jackals, and myriad other creatures including fighting dikdiks and banded mongooses. Periodically, as he has done all along, if we were quiet for too long, Anaeli would call back to us: “How’re you doing?” Love that about him. We also noticed that over our three days in the west, the roads have improved considerably from the soggy, post-rains state they were in when we arrived - no more risk of getting stuck in the mud! The western Serengeti and Anaeli have been good to us. Such a treat to have had the same guide - and a really good one - for five days running.

At the airstrip, Anaeli spotted Innocent from Namiri Plains Camp, who he knew and gave a good review. Then came probably the most frustrating episode of our trip. Anaeli had gotten us to the airstrip early in case the Asilia people (parent company of Namiri) also got there early. They did, but we had to wait for another trio of guests to arrive via plane. The message that their plane was due to arrive at noon had not been passed along. Their flight was late. We gave the rangers at the airstrip our packed lunches from Cherero, in anticipation of having lunch on arrival at Namiri. It was a confluence of bad communications between camps/companies, and bad choices by Namiri. In terms of the latter, save for a short visit to some hippos to distract us, we were left to sit in the airstrip parking lot for a total of three hours. NOT the way we wanted to spend our second to last day on safari. We started to agitate then got firmer and firmer that this was not acceptable (weren’t there other vehicles - oh no, it’s too far; can’t we leave via the second Namiri vehicle at the parking lot? - oh no, it’s a private booking). Nothing was done. By the time the other guests’ plane got in, we were both pretty pissed off. Thankfully, the new guests (and our safari companions for a day and a half) were lovely: two sisters and their stepmother. We had a pleasant drive to camp, chitchatting and checking out a sight here and there. At camp, we let the managers know that we wanted to have a chat, but please let us enjoy lunch and our afternoon drive first. They already knew about the incident, knew we were unhappy and later were very gracious about taking responsibility and apologizing. At this writing, it remains to be seen if they and Mike, our “Africa guy” will sort out some sort of accommodation for the time lost and frustration. More about what made up for the agony to come….

Lunch was lovely, and we have a “butler” (waitress), Zawadi, who is delightful with a good sense of humor. We barely had time in our room and were off on our afternoon game drive. Innocent, our guide, is paired with Ally, a guide in training, and they do well together. Innocent described this drive as “window shopping” for the serious shopping the following day. Our first sighting was a big ellie, doing some unmentionables, and his buddy, in the background, knocking over a tree. It’s a toss up which was more interesting: the birds or the migration. Our vehicle mates are serious bird peeps so we stopped many times to check out fun varieties to include the especially beautifully lovebirds, superb starling, lilac-breasted roller, and many more. Since we’ve only randomly focused on birds to this point, it was a really nice diversion. Then we found a large mass of wildebeasts moving in formation. It was a different perspective of the migration than what we saw the other day. It’s a force of nature moving along, some running but in a somewhat organized line. And it never stops. They kick up a cloud of dust not unlike PigPen of Peanuts fame. At one point, Innocent drove into the middle of them so we were totally surrounded. A few momentary fights, a few pairs mating, babies calling out for their mamas…. it was a scene that is impossible to describe. While often the wildebeasts are mixed with zebras, in this case the zebras were only on the fringes of the herd. During a good part of it three hyenas were casing the situation, but left without taking action. We won’t forget this in a hurry. On the way back, on the amazing flat plains that go on forever, we’d see rock outcroppings so interesting that they’re like sculptures with trees on the side and on top. Innocent pointed out the Rock Fig trees that grow out of cracks in rocks. Very cool!

From the drive we went straight to the fire pit for a glass of wine. With a dead tree hovering above - another work of nature’s art - the setting looking back at the lodge was beautiful. We loved the fact that the guides came down and joined us, chatting about the day and mixing it up a bit. Even the second (private) guide from the dreaded airport parking lot sat down next to Jill and checked in before his (photographer) guest arrived. After dinner, golf cart back to the room - not too bad of service, given our tent is the furthest away.

The beauty of yesterday morning was all about the surroundings. Today, the beauty of the aminals was off the charts. And that’s saying a lot after four weeks on safari. Ally picked us up in a golf cart at 6:15 AM and when Patricia, Christina and Terri arrived moments later, off we went for our serious (animal) shopping morning. And what a morning it was. We thought we had hit the jackpot when Innocent spotted three cheetahs brothers. Stunning creatures, we watched them sit and keep watch in every direction for a while, then tracked them as they walked, sometimes side by side but more often in a like heading to, well, who cares where they were headed. They were wonderful to watch. Indeed it was just a quick little purchase on our shopping trip in the Eastern Serengeti (Maasai word for Endless Plain). The main events were ahead. We saw a (spread out) group of 4 adult lions and a female. Over the morning, our team dubbed them Scarface (the ugly, scarred one), Pretty Boy (the stunner), Lover Boy (hanging close to/claiming the female), and The Guard (keeping watch). We had great views of them hangin’ out, moving about, and of note: taking serious action in intentioned walking and roars to scare off another male interloper. Innocent had us laughing when he put words to the growls… “Whose land is this? Mine, mine, mine”, as a lion sounds. (You really have to hear it.). The intimidation worked, so no blood had to be spilled. Well, no lion blood today.

On the morning went, with several more views of cheetahs, some great zebras drinking at a watering hole (with zebras around for miles!) some jackels (renamed wolves, as they’ve been re-categorized), a hippo and buffalo in a pond, and a pretty little lizard sunning himself and doing by a few pushups every time he changed position . The highlight of the morning was when Innocent found under a tree in the shade a mama cheetah and five cubs. They were about two months old, so so so so so so adorbs! They were sometimes playful, sometimes sleeping with one in particular (the troublemaker) who first tried to climb the tree, and later got stuck in a branch and took many multiple efforts with dangling and reaching legs - to finally tumble out onto the ground. The cubs were fuzzy, inquisitive and playful, sometimes even climbing on their mama. We learned the markings are like honey badgers to intimidate predators… we could actually see it. At times they tried for milk, but mama was having none of it this morning. She was busy keeping watch. She would occasionally make a call and all five would make their way to her. A fantastic sighting that bookended the very first cats that we saw on our first day on safari on our first trip to Africa: a mama cheetah and cubs. Too cool.

While we watched the cheetahs, we heard someone else peeping/crying. So innocent finally tore us away from the cubs to find a set of lion cubs. (A morning on safari is hard pressed to get better than this!!!). They were tucked in some trees by a rock outcropping a short distance away - more difficult to get a full view, but the peeks of them in between branches, snuggling with one another, resting heads on their (huge) paws. Very very fun. They were about three months old, so quite a bit bigger than the cheetahs.

On the way back to camp, we went by the same watering hole where many zebras were availing themselves of a drink, wading in to get the freshest water. The adult lions were nearby and the zebras weren’t even spooked. In case Namiri Plains had not already demonstrated the accuracy of its name (Namiri is the Maasai name for “Home of Cats”), we had one more cheetah sighting before heading in. Indeed: Oh What a Beautiful Morning!!

Lunch, as now expected, was wonderful. We chatted about how lucky we were in having as our last vehicle buddies Patricia, Christina and Terri. A true She-fari, as Patricia dubbed the five when we first met! We’ve enjoyed the banter, their awe in seeing things for the first time, our mutual awe at seeing - well, everything. Short as our interaction was, we hope to be in touch in the future.

We had good time to blog and check photos before heading out on our afternoon drive, sadly, our last safari drive of the trip. It has been forever that we’ve been in Africa, and has also gone by in a flash. Will there be a “take 3” in Africa? Let’s just say it’s not off the table!

The game drive was a good one — hyenas and hyena babies (to round out “baby day”); a cheetah (because one simply can never get enough); load of birds (particularly at a watering hole where Innocent challenged us to find all the birds); and treat of all treats, a serval cat (small and rather bright orange with spots), a rarity. We got back to camp on the late side, but still chilled out at the campfire before dinner. It was there that we picked up some sentiments from various guides implying a (tourism) rivalry between Kenya and Tanzania. Anaeli had first brought this up in the context of the burning of grasses (slows the migrations progress toward Kenya which is not good for their sighting opportunities), one of the many tour organizers we met was skeptical of the concept, and here again, the guides were keen to point out the riches found more in Tanzania than Kenya. Who knows where truth lies?

Patricia was wiped out so packed it in. We had a lovely dinner with Christina, Terri, and Innocent, talking about Africa, safaris, the impact of Covid and more. As we sat at the table on the open patio, Terri spotted movement in the dining room - a Jennet (pretty, cat-like creature, but not a cat) running across the shelves on the wall. There are seemingly endless new animals to see. Lovely, lovely end to our safari time in this fair land.

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