#print it and keep it I'll have a bouncer at the door

[glazedsnail]

If you draw Shane with a crooked nose you're automatically invited to the banging party my funerals will be 🙌

Don't get me wrong I love every fcking Shane I lay my eyes upon.

But Shane with a crooked nose 🤌

[hiskillingjar]

Glory Hole (Strade/MC)

*into a megaphone* my fetish for german men strikes again

i’m going to berlin in like three weeks and if i don’t get my dick sucked in a gay club, i’m gonna be mad as HELL.

day 21: glory hole second person. gay male reader. early 20s strade and takes place in the early 2000s.

"I'll only be gone for an hour!"

You had told your friends back at the hostel, while they were all relaxing after a heavy meal and too many glasses of beer, all getting ready for the guided tour tomorrow morning. 

It was probably the sensible choice, you knew that much, but it didn't feel right to have an early night on a Friday, especially not when you were in Berlin, one of the most famous "nightlife" cities in the world. You almost couldn’t believe that they were all passing that up to get an early night for a walk amongst the gravestones, or something equally boring like that.

You might have been a lame faggot who enjoyed all that historical shit too, but you weren't lame enough to let it completely derail your capacity to have a good time.

Just for an hour, you kept in your mind, as you left the hostel with the "Best Gay Clubs in Berlin" street map you had printed out back at home, several big ones close by circled in red - a 'must-attend’ sort of place, the blog post had stressed in bold typeface.

"Lachmannstraße," You murmured to yourself, a hand in your (freshly dyed, thank you very much) hair, peering from the map to the street signs you approached and doing your best not to be distracted by the students and rowdy tourists pouring out of theatres and bars to chase a similar high as you. "And then...mm, Urbanstraße. Yep, that's right."

'Keep your eyes out for the rainbow flag over the door', you had written on the map, and you squinted your eyes in the darkness to assess the row of doors and shops, lighting up when you spotted the rainbow flag in question.

You probably could have guessed that it was a gay bar, though, even without the pride paraphernalia. 

Pounding techno could be heard from where you were standing across the street, thumping loudly as a line stagnated outside to get in. One bouncer, a tall guy with a beard and gauges, was chatting and joking around with the more attractive types that tried to get into the club, most pretty bachelorettes that could charm their way in, while the other seemed a little less chill, keeping the… less appealing away with a firm hand.

That was fine, though.

You were good at chatting up bouncers back home (though your friends blamed your luck on your ‘twinkish good looks’ as opposed to being especially charming or good at conversation), and you had studied enough German in the previous semester to schmooze yourself through most conversations.

“Hello!” You greeted, a little too eager this late at night. “Price for…um, ticket, please!”

The stricter looking bouncer had spotted you approaching, crossing his arms and looking terse as he looked you up and down, seemingly ready to turn you away...until, he noticed the slight struggle you were having to speak German.

Shit. Maybe you weren’t as good at this as you expected.

"English, ja?" He asked, his tone and demeanour completely changed as he switched to a different language, smiling politely and seeming almost friendly now.

"Is it obvious?" You asked with a self-concious chuckle, in...okay, decent-ish German. Your accent could have used some work. "Busy tonight?"

He just chuckled and shook his head, waving you down to join him away from the long line.

"I could tell. I've become quite the expert at spotting tourists." He swapped back over to German, perhaps just to humour you (you had done all that practice, after all). "But...yes, busy tonight, as always. Though,” He gave you a quick once over with another smile. “I could possibly spare a spot inside for you, if you want. Skip the line, as it were. You here alone?"

"Alone," You nodded, beaming at his offer. "Nobody wanted to come out with me, hah. I’m in the hostel back on, mm, Lachmannstraße, so-"

"Hah! Well, their loss, I say." He laughed and shrugged, before putting a hand on your back and escorting you past the long line. "Sometimes it is better to go out alone. No limits that way, no?"

You barely suppressed a slight shiver at the hand on your back as he guided you into the club, into the cave of red light and pounding music that always made your head pulse. You couldn’t help it though, that’s what you told yourself, you were in a different country, experiencing new things, speaking a new language, and…well, the bouncer was a really good-looking guy. 

Built and an inch or two taller than you, dark features, hair past his shoulders, and a piercing through his nose. 

The kind of guy you always went crazy for.

"Thank you," You kept smiling, speaking over the music. "Um, ah...have an hour?” You said, your German becoming much worse all of a sudden. "Dance with me?"

He turned to look at you, his hand still on your back (drifting down the crease of it, where your shirt was slightly riding up) as he leaned in to speak directly in your ear.

"I have a better idea. Come with me," He murmured, his low voice sending another lovely shiver through your body and his hand moving to your hip, as he led you past the dance floor, through the throngs of people there. “I’ll show you a good time.”

You were almost starstruck as he pushed you ahead through the mass of grinding, dancing bodies, silently ecstatic that you were really hooking up with someone on a college vacation (like all the movies and books had spoken about, a real vacation romance!), before noticing that he was pushing you towards an LED 'WC' sign.

Okay, not exactly romantic. But still, pretty exciting.

He idly led you through to one of the stalls at the very end of the heavily graffitied bathroom (the only other attendees pissing in a urinal and making out against the sinks), nudging the door open with a kick of his boot and pushing you inside roughly, quickly shutting the door behind him, and locking it.

"Nhh!" You grunted as you stumbled back against the toilet, your body forced to straddle as your back hit the tile and piping roughly, painfully. “H-Hold on, can we just-”

"Relax, relax, don’t make so much noise, hm?" He murmured in a raspy whisper, a darker look crossing his eyes as he moved to pin you against the wall by your wrists, his larger body pressing against yours. "I'm sure there's better things you could be doing with that mouth, ja?"

"O-Oh," You stammered, eyes widening as you struggled against him. "N-No, I, uh...I'm sorry, I wasn't, um," You swallowed hard. "Ah, 'arbitten'? Soliciting?"

He just laughed at your attempts to struggle, his grip on your wrists tightening.

"Nein, you were not. You’re not wetlos enough to be doing that," He leaned down to speak in your ear again, his breath hot on your neck, making goose bumps rise on your skin as he said words you didn’t understand. "But you were certainly…mm, flirting, just a moment ago, outside, hm?"

"I wasn't...hah," You breathed out as his hips pressed against yours, trembling even more.

"No? So I must have...misheard you, then, ja?" He shrugged with an easy smile, before he forcefully moved your wrists above your head, holding them still with one hand as the other curled into the back of your hair, pulling it tightly as he pushed your body down onto your knees, expensive denim colliding with the wet ground. “Easy mistake to make. Don’t worry, I forgive you~”

God, you hoped that was just water.

"Ngh!" You grunted as he kept your head raised upwards and your wrists aloft. "E-Easy!"

He may have been about to speak, but you were both interrupted, however, by an idle knock on the (only) other side of the bathroom cubicle and your head strained against his firm grip to peer towards...a hole in the wall.

Well. This was a gay club, after all.

"Well…”

His attention turned, too, as he looked towards the knock and the telltale hole in the wall, before looking back down at you, a filthy chuckle escaping his smirking lips.

“It looks like we have some...company, don’t we?"

Your eyes widened slightly as he forced your head against the wall, the knock hard enough to rattle your brains in your skull, watching helplessly, through the hole, as the stanger on the other side started to unbutton his jeans.

"Couple?" The guy in the other cubicle asked, his accent thick but neither English or German.

"Yeah," The bouncer responded with an unseen nod, tightening his grip on your hair as he spoke, forcing your head to stay straight and his gaze remaining fixed on you. "Care to...ah, join us, ja?"

"He clean?" The guy asked gruffly.

"Mm, he looks it," He responded with an idle shrug, looking you over for a moment with a wry smirk, before looking back at the hole in the wall, like he was talking to the guy’s face. "Want to see for yourself, though?" He then asked as he pushed your still-pinned body closer to it.

His hand curled tighter in the back of your hair, forcing you closer towards the glory hole as the guy shoved his half flacid cock through it, dripping with coagulated pre-cum and grime.

This guy was a real fucking hypocrite, asking if you were clean.

"Go on...show him what that mouth can really do~"

Stuck between a rock and a hard place (figuratively and, somewhat, literally), you swallowed down your complaints and pride with a silent grimace and opened your mouth obediently, sticking your tongue out and idly smoothing it down the wrinkled head of the guy’s cock and foreskin.

"Upff," You groaned at the taste, eyes watering as you struggled not to gag, all while the guy moaned and groaned himself, and braced himself against the cubicle wall, pushing himself further into your mouth and down your throat.

"Take well at both ends?” The guy murmured through a groan. “Might need to test...make sure..."

You squeezed your eyes shut at the lewd suggestion (and the grody taste of aged semen rubbing into your tongue, there was no way in hell you would ever let this guy fuck you, not in a million years), your thighs tensing together as the bouncer held your head still, snickering to himself.

“You know Americans,” He murmured, letting go of your wrists (he didn’t need to hold you still when he was standing in front of the only exit) to rub at his own growing bulge, idly squeezing himself as you bobbed your head up and down, your forehead and nose bumping against the cubicle wall. “They act like prudes but they’re desperate for it, ja?”

You moaned your complaints against the soft flesh between your lips, but you could feel a worrying heat begin to pool at your core and your own cock twitch in your jeans.

Fuck. How were you getting turned on by this?

The older man’s eyes flickered from your gagging lips and down to your thighs, tensing and squirming as you planted your hands against the cubicle wall and started to work your mouth up and down the other guy’s cock…barely with any help at all. “Mm, I knew you’d be the deseprate sort,” He murmured, his voice giving away a deep amount of praise as he unbuttoned his trousers and pulled out his own cock, dark and thick and fuck, you would have much prefered going down on him than some grimy stranger. “You liiike iiiit~ How cute!”

You moaned again, your eyes locked on his hand, idly jerking up and down his length, as you forced yourself to move quicker against the glory hole, just wanting this all to be over with.

“Ah ah, not too fast, mein herr…let yourself savour it, hm?”

[raggaraddy]

Unexpected

Request: Assassin! Yoong's S/O becomes pregnant. @sunheeyey @justmydirtysheet

A/N: Soo much love and requests for Yoongi at the moment, I can hardly keep up.😂 But it makes sense. How could you not love the Pretty Kitty!

Trigger warning: Mention of abortions, yandere themes.

Yoongi

Yandere! Yoongi

Assassin! Yoongi

Finding you clutching the toilet, overwhelmed with nausea, Yoongi looked more concerned than you would have imagined he might.

"What's wrong? Did you eat something bad?" He makes the same leap you initially did.

You're looking up at him, stalling in thought trying to process how to say this. Do you say it directly? Or subtly. Do you even tell him? You could be wrong and you have no idea how he's going to react.

"I've-I haven't gotten my last two periods." You say feeling ashamed as if it was something you had done wrong.

Yoongi's face pales his eyes going wide. His own voice catching in his throat worse than yours did, as he struggles to find any words. You'd never seen him this caught off guard before.

"Go," He points down the hall to your room, instantly second-guessing himself. Pulling his hand back in, scratching his head. "Go to your- um," Normally when he didn't know how to react to something, he could simply lock you away. To give himself as much time as he wanted. But this? That reaction seemed callous, even for him. "Jus-just wait. Here. I'll-. Just wait." He stammers, too quickly running down the stairs. Retreating from you like you had told him you had the plague.

You feel the house shake as the front door slams forcefully.

At this point, you had only just pieced it together in your mind also. And the same as him, you had no idea how you were supposed to react or feel. Truthfully, you felt like you were suspended, waiting for Yoongi to get back. You didn't want to let an opinion set in until you knew what he was thinking. He controlled your entire world, and no matter what you thought or wanted, he would have the final say.

Coming back up the stairs with quickened footsteps and a large shopping bag, he drops several kinds of pregnancy tests at your feet. A complete look of confusion on his face.

"I didn't know which one was good, so just use them all.' His tone was still high and strung out.

It takes an hour, but you go through the tests. Each one revealing a positive result. Yoongi sitting on the edge of the bath anxiously watching the results come in one after the other with an answer he was struggling to accept.

After the 5th test, all his tense energy overflows and he erupts. "I thought you said you were on birth control!"

"I am," you attest. Chewing your lip raw.

"Then what the fuck happened. How the hell did you fuck this up?!" He raves, accusing you as if this was within your control.

"I-I don't know,"

He storms off. He wasn't actually waiting for you to answer. He's frustrated and panicking and he just wanted to aim that at someone else. You can feel the front door shuddering again, the house returning to a desolate quiet

Slumping to the bathroom floor, you hold your knees while crying. It's not your fault, you know it isn't but Yoongi's fit has made you feel so guilty and responsible. Your birth control is something that you had put in years ago, and it should still be working. You really don't know how this could have happened.

Over the next few days, Yoongi avoids you. He came back later that same day, but since then he hasn't spoken to you. Hardly even sparing you a glace. Every time you see him, you have to restrain yourself from asking your burning questions. If you try to force him to talk about this, you know it won't end well.

So in the meantime, you honestly don't want to think about it. But that's all you do.

It sounded so bizarre the first few times you thought it. But you were pregnant. You had a baby growing inside you. Something so small and beautiful. Something that was all yours.

Your mind kept imagining how they might look. Would they have more of Yoongi's features or yours? Would it be a boy or a girl? How could you ever decide on a name? What happens if you change your mind about the name? What would their first word be?

By the 4th day, you'd completely disregarded your intentions not to make your mind up. Without you even trying to, your mind was made up for you and after only 4 days you were absolutely and unendingly in love with your baby.

Yoongi had still yet to say a word on the topic. But you were terrified. He could be so merciless and uncaring. Look at his profession. At all the horrendous things you'd seen him do. Look at what he did to you. How could you think he would ever allow you to keep it?

But this was your baby! He couldn't take it from you!

You kept making yourself sick with worry. You were fearing the worst. Unable to find any way to convince yourself that he would have a positive answer for you. Believing he would never let you keep it. You kept having nightmarish thoughts of ways he might force you to abort it. Of what he might do it you refused. Steadily you were terrorizing and depressing yourself. Crying yourself to sleep night after night.

10 days after you found out you were woken by so much commotion downstairs.

Coming onto the ground floor, you find the living room and kitchen filled with boxes and bags. Looking like a baby supply store had exploded in your house. Cribs, strollers, bouncers, baby clothes, toys. Everything you knew a baby needed, and a lot you had no idea about.

But the sight is an answer without words and tears come to your eyes right away. Your heart lifting in relief.

Yoongi catches sight of you standing in the stairway, a sheepish glint in his eye as he cluelessly holds up a drill and a manual. Studying the box of a baby gate with confusion printed on his face. He looks thoroughly out of his element.

"I don't- I don't know what any of this stuff is. I-I-" he stammers looking around the chaos. "I want everything to be right though." He looks at you softly, lightly biting his lip. "Y/n, I really don't know anything about all this. I'm gonna need you to teach me, please. Teach me how to take care of our baby."

You inhale and exhale a sigh all of the past weeks stress floating off of you. The universe finally giving you exactly what you needed. Tears of joy rolling down your face you step through the mess and you run into his arms, sinking into his chest. Feeling complete and at ease as you feel him squeeze you back.

"Of course Yoongi. We'll do this together."

[100yearoldcomics]

July 9, 1922 Barney Google by Billy De Beck

TOP PANEL [ID: Barney staggers out the front walkway of a large ornate place with a marble archway behind him. He's on crutches, his head is bandaged up and his left arm is in a sling. /end] Barney: Ahh, now it all comes back to me. I've been in the hospital.

MAIN COMIC [ID: Barney stands on the front doorstep of a man with a sun-print vest, striped pants and a mustache. Behind Barney stand two tough-looking bouncer types. /end] Eddie: Who are you? Barney: I'm the collector for the Bimbo Piano Co. You're behind in your payments. My men are here to take away the piano.

[ID: Barney stands impatiently behind his young daughter, who's practicing at an upright piano. The man worriedly pulls up a chair for him. /end] Eddie: Annebelle is practicing her lesson. Won't you sit down? She'll be finished in a few moments. And you can take the piano. Tell your men to wait. Barney: Hurry up, kid!

[ID: The man sternly instructs Barney, who holds out a paper and pen. /end] Eddie: Call me when my step-child is finished. I'll be in the back room. Barney: All right. Just sign this paper and I'll be all set.

[ID: Barney sits angrily behind the practicing child, plugging his ears with both index fingers. /end] Barney: This is murder!! Annebelle: One two three four, ONE two three four.

[ID: Barney leaves the room and looks around the house curiously. He hears voices from the other end of a closed door. /end] Annebelle: One two three four, ♫♫♫♫♫ one two three four. Barney: ? Gambler #1: Raise you ten, Eddie! Eddie: This is the last time around. Double the ante. Gambler #2: You win. Gambler #3: Deal the cards.

[ID: Barney walks into the room, holding his hat behind his back. Eddie turns around from his table - he's dealing out a poker hand. Three other grumpy, smoking men play with him. /end] Barney: Say, d'ye mind if I sit in the game till your kid gets that music off her chest? Eddie: The boys are about to quit. But, sit down. You and I will play a two handed game.

[ID: Barney and Eddie play a game together. Annebelle walks into the room. /end] Annebelle: I've finished, Papsy. Barney: Tell her to keep on practising an' mebbe she'll amount to something when she grows up. Raise you five.

[ID: Eddie studies his hand closely. /end] Eddie: I have a small straight. Barney: Ow. That beats me, I'm broke now. Pay that $120.00 you owe me on the piano and deal the cards.

[ID: The two muscle-men consort with each other outside. /end] Muscle #1: Wot's keeping that guy? I thought we wuz here to drag out a pianny. Muscle #2: Let's go in and grab it. We can't stall around here all day.

[ID: The men haul out the piano while Annebelle bawls her eyes out behind them. /end] Muscle #2: Easy, Bo. Annebelle: Baw.

[ID: Barney sits grumpily at the poker table as Eddie counts out his winnings. Annebelle walks in, wailing. /end] Eddie: There you are. I win. The $120.00 comes back to me and the piano is mine. Excuse me a moment, sir. I must find out what little Annebelle is crying about. Annebelle: Bla, WAW, boo hoo.

[ID: Barney staggers to the front steps of a hospital, where he's met by an incredulous doctor with a long white beard. Barney's clothes are torn and shredded. /end] Doctor: Where was the explosion? Barney: Yes.