#previously hands able to grasp slowly shaped into a brick that makes it way easier to run

[dexaroth]

have a bit of a ghost muscle thing in the midpoint of my feet where a thumb should be. like daron. its like theres this miniscule bit of leftover muscle i can contract there..

[neoyeppuda]

Here - Mingyu scenario

Word Count: 3,382

Genre: Light angst and comfort plus a lil fluff

Clar’s A/N: This one’s for Feesha (@kingyu97)!! she didn’t tell me what she wanted to do on Christmas with her bias and she told me to surpise her so here it is!!! I haven’t posted in a long time and I’m really scaaaared. I tried to make it as personal as possible (?) so the likes and possibly personality (plus events that happened irl) of Y/n will resemble the mutual I’m writing for!! (hOPEFULLY) I’m working on Denise’s  (@/theliqht) and Lani’s next :D

I hope you guys enjoy this!! (Writers could probs relate but idk what am i talking about) (okay im really nervous about this it’s been so long btw the gif is beautiful)

The sound of laughter and Christmas carols brightened the ruthless winter breeze, loud enough to penetrate the white eggshell walls of your room which was in the inner area of your house. People welcomed guests at their front doors and everyone had someone to spend Christmas Eve with while you were cooped up inside the cozy home that felt a little too empty.

It was another night alone. And once everyone retired to their own homes, only the sound of the keyboard tapping disrupted the almost perfect silence that you’d rather not have as you briefly paused to wrap numb fingers around the curve of your mug. The hot chocolate radiated its warmth through the ceramic, which usually melted the numbness in your hands. But tonight, the bitter cold’s bite never left your fingertips, so you decided to ignore the minor hindrance and continued writing.

You went over your work for the millionth time, thoroughly reading every word you’ve written with dissatisfaction all over your face. Everything about it simply paled in comparison to everything else you’ve written in the past, and it frustrated you to no end.

A child could write better.

A sigh of dissatisfaction left your lips and you forced yourself to write anything that would come to mind. It made your head spin like a top, but you paid no attention to it. Progress was more important to you.

You redid a specific section, riding along the sudden yet transient rush of inspiration that eventually slipped away from your grasp, sending you back into this spiral of frustration. Fingers repeatedly tapped the backspace, removing the disappointing words from your sight. As you scoured every nook and every cranny of your brain for words to describe the character’s beautiful almond eyes, the typing came to a screeching halt.

A writer without inspiration was like a bird without wings. No matter how hard both tried, nothing could help them.

“I can’t do this,” you mutter under your breath, lifting your hands off the laptop’s black keys to run fingers through hair that framed your face. Your head throbbed with every word you forced out, desperately struggling to make progress even if you would end up revising it over and over again later on because it was never good enough. It was like there were chains around your lithe wrists, holding you back whenever you tried taking a step forward.

Your writing was stagnant, if not regressing.

Helplessness overwhelmed you, as you sat there with legs pulled close to your chest and a blanket covering your form. Mingyu wasn’t there to wrap his hands and arms around your small frame to pull you against his broad chest, comforting you with sweet words of encouragement and support as he rolls his thumb over your tear-stained cheeks. It was only you, alone with demons that gnawed at your sanity as you continued to subject yourself to torturous thoughts.

You didn’t know what time or even day your boyfriend was coming back but you certainly wished that he was at least present for Christmas Eve. Every call and every text was left unanswered, you didn’t dare call any of the members knowing they were probably either sleeping or busy to respond so you waited by yourself.

Despite how desperately you wanted to write, nothing was going to happen. You yearned for his presence, to the point that you couldn’t think of anything else, and you used that as another excuse. “I miss him. That’s why words aren’t coming out,” a soft and weak whisper to yourself comforted you with the lies that wrapped around it. Denying the actual reason seemed easier than facing it and accepting it.

It was one reason after another.

“I can’t write because of this,” whatever unreasonable excuse you found was more than enough to justify why you weren’t able to write. You refused to accept the fact that you lacked inspiration, not even knowing why you did. Heartbreak usually inspired you, but the only thing you wanted to do right now was cry and wallow in the self-pity that was pent up inside. You couldn’t write regardless of whether he was there or not, but you needed him to ease the pain his absence kissed you with.

“Why aren’t you here?”

The weak, suppressed sobs that barely made a squeak was all you would permit to escape your pale lips. With arms crossed, you squeezed your sides sharply. Everything just felt numb.

“What? No, Mingyu’s not at the dorm. He left earlier than all of us,” Wonwoo told you over text. Your fingers curled around the shape of the phone in your hand.

That was hours ago.

“Wouldn’t he be there by now?” you didn’t have the strength to respond, leaving his messages unread. The clock on your desk ticked and tocked, telling you it was already midnight; but it didn’t matter. You already had a sour feeling that he wasn’t going to show, draining you of any motivation to lift a finger. The bed might have tempted you to remove your ass from the office chair but you didn’t give a damn about where you’d sleep tonight.

A long and tired yawn pulled a layer of tears over your eyes. You took another glance at the incomplete work in front of you, pulling on the white blanket that hung around your shoulders to cover exposed skin. Every minute that passed made your eyelids grow heavier, like a construction worker that piled bricks atop one another.

A blurry image of the clock’s arms pointing at the bold number one was the last thing you could recall seeing before succumbing to the sandman’s sweet lullaby.

Dark circles were forming around the boy’s tired eyes as the sun started to peek its bright head into the obsidian sky. It was terribly late, he was too preoccupied to spare his watch a glance but he assumed the time was past midnight. His long arms cradled the brown paper bag that was spilling with ingredients and various bottles while a thick rope hung around his wrist, occasionally tugging at his arm as he fished his pocket for a key.

A small yip and the continual disturbance he was dealing with made him hush the source of the commotion. “You’ll wake her,” he says in a loud whisper, slowly twisting the brass knob before closing the door that was now behind him.

With another yip upon hearing the door shut rather too loudly for its ears, your heavy eyelids flutter open halfway, immediately shutting close before they part again like two magnets repelling each other. You sat up straight with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. Fingers dug into your palm, balling your hand into a fist to ease the shaky heart that threatened to jump out of your chest with every hasty thump.

His name left your cold lips, eyes taking in his tall form that froze at the sight of you, “Mingyu.” Fingertips created creases at the bottom of the paper bag when you pushed the chair back, letting it rub against the wool carpet, to make your way towards the tense man. You called out his name in a much softer tone that perfectly accompanied the loneliness brimming over your tired eyes as you took slow steps towards him.

He watched you move closer, letting the rope slide down from his wrist and into his bent fingers. You caught something that barely hid behind Mingyu’s legs. Its white curly hair obvious from the small gap in between the black fabric of his slacks as it jumps forward, tickling your feet with the animal’s padded paws and long fur.

“(Y/n), I can explain,” he tells you with a degree of alarm in his tone. You removed your eyes from the small puppy below you, turning to him. Before he could even finish a sentence, the words that left his mouth came to an abrupt stop the moment he felt your warmth wrap around his torso. He paused for a brief second before placing a hand on your back, pulling you closer to rest his chin on your shoulder.

He says your name again, with a tinge of confusion underlying the gentle manner he uttered it in. “I’ve missed you,” the shakiness of your voice was difficult to repress, making it clear as day that you were close to tears. “I’ve missed you too,” Mingyu replies warmly. The husky yet bright voice he spoke in and the toothy grin he gave you as his sparkling eyes looked into yours replaced the numbness with elation that you didn’t think you’d ever feel again. Hot tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and soft sobs left you. Fingers clawed onto his goofy Christmas sweater, grabbing fists full of the knitted wool as the emotions you couldn’t tell anyone about piled up and began bursting out like a dam flooding uncontrollably.

Mingyu’s name slipped through your quivering lips so many times that you had lost count. “I thought you weren’t coming home,” you choked out. His callous hands thread through hair that clung to the tears on your skin, brushing them back to expose creased brows and crinkled chin previously hidden. His large hands slid down to cup your face, lightly squeezing your cheeks together with his wrists as he pressed his forehead onto yours, “hey.” You gave no reply, still shaking in his arms. “Hey,” in a hushed whisper, he tells you to look at him, “I’m here.” Mingyu repeated the words that slightly eased the storm inside of you, “(y/n) I’m here.” A thumb brushed against the arc of your cheekbones, sweeping the salty tears away as they rolled down.

“I’m tired but I don’t want to be tired,” you bawl, whimpering as a result of futile attempts at suppressing sobs.

“Hey,” Mingyu murmurs in a terribly gentle tone, as if anything more than that was enough to shatter you into pieces. Soft shades of passion fruit surfaced when his warm fingers traced the outline of your cheeks, trailing like a sentence that can never be finished. You were still trembling against his touch and there was little he could do. “I thought,” the words barely made sense when you started talking, pausing to swallow a salty lump in your throat. “Everything would be okay once,” you stopped again and Mingyu echoes the last word, “once?”

Eyes that were cast down until now looked up at the boy with pain painted over the glossy depths of your orbs. “I thought I could write when you came back,” you forced the complete thought out with a ragged breath, barely loud enough to reach Mingyu’s ears. Teeth dug into his soft peach pink bottom lip as he puzzles for a response. The silence between you stretched out until he asks, “remember the time it happened to you last year?” You nodded with eyes flickering towards the floor again.

“I told you that if nothing could fix it, you’d take a break,” you wasted no time in turning to him and opening your mouth to refuse it but he sternly calls your name once the word “but” rolled off your tongue, drawing his brows together to form creases. You held back the rest of the words you wanted to say, pressing your lips together as his sharp features immediately soften, “take a break.”

All you did was jerk your chin up in acknowledgment, unable to look at him directly as more tears started to build up in your puffy eyes. “We can’t spend time together if you don’t,” he trails off, throwing a crooked smile in an attempt to lighten the mood as much as he could. Fresh tears slid down your already tear-stained face. Mingyu reached out to wipe them away but you had already brushed them off with the back of your hand. “I’m fine,” the weak smile you gave him made his worries grow instead.

Mingyu didn’t know what else could comfort you, squeezing you tightly as he pulls you even closer to him. “You don’t seem fine,” he says weakly with a hint of sadness behind the rough lacquer of his voice. You remained silent, refusing to answer knowing that he saw right through you. “I know you don’t want to,” he caresses your face, guiding you to turn to him, “but you have to.”

A small nod was your response; his heart ached at the sight of you like this. Brows created stiff slopes and the frown on his weary face drew lines from his nose to the edges of his lips as a quiet breath escapes his nostrils, carrying all the sadness he couldn’t bear to keep in. “(Y/n),” he croaks, taking a brief moment to think of the words to say, “don’t think of it as taking a break because you can’t write,” another smile spread across his lips, squeezing your hand in his, “but because I want to spend time with you.”

You pondered upon his words that seemed like forever to him. Mingyu held his breath, only releasing it the moment your lips curled into a wide smile, “okay.” He repeats after you, his own face lighting up immediately after seeing you happy. Perhaps it made him a little bit too giddy, grabbing your wrist and heading straight out the door along with the tiny furry friend that followed the leash that was now in your hands.

The calm winter air and the snow that crumbled around your legs felt refreshing, lifting your spirits high up to the heavens. You wrapped the blanket tighter when you felt the cold slowly crawling under your skin. Noticing how the small puppy shivered, you picked it up and cradled him in your arms. The bigger puppy, whom everyone knew as Mingyu, never noticed how chilly it actually was due to the multiple layers of thin sweaters underneath the baggy red one he had on.

He patted a sturdy spot flat to sit on, and began working on whatever the sorry clump of snow was supposed to be. You simply watched him from above, stifling giggles that almost escaped your pursed lips.

Determination sparkled in his eyes as fingers glide around the clump to draw a heart deep into the snow, using it as a guide when he piles more snow onto the lumpy pile. Mingyu stops, noticing the sudden silence between him and you. The boy looked up and saw you admire the line where clear white snow met a jet black sky while a hand stroked the little dog’s curly fur. The sight of which, melted the frost that crept up to his cheeks, painting them a cherry red that resembled the candy canes hung around the balconies of the neighboring houses. Mingyu smiles inwardly and finishes up his little gift.

He happily pats it all around, forming the solid heart that was apparently meant for you. “(Y/n),” was written at the center with his index finger, which he proudly showed off to you with a grin from ear to ear. “Picture it!” he chants. Mingyu poses next to it, with two fingers held up and a toothy smile that would make people think the sun was rising at two in the morning.

Once his picture was taken and approved of by none other than him, he jumps to his feet. “Let’s go in now,” he sang, rubbing his two hands together, “it’s getting too cold.” You tail the boy, slightly confused and only a few steps behind him when he opens the door for you.

Inside, he picks up the bag of groceries previously left leaning against one of the walls, bringing them to the kitchen. Curious, you quirked an eyebrow upwards and stepped into the kitchen as well. You watch him put away all the thing he bought, leaning down to prop your cheek onto a balled fist. “What’s all this?” you inquire, eyes following the bottle of vanilla extract he held in between fingers.

“Plans for tomorrow,” he chimes, pulling out bags of flour and cornstarch. Knowing Mingyu, he probably invited the boys over for dinner, and planned to prepare everything a few hours before. “At what time will the boys arrive tomorrow?” you ask, setting the puppy down. The boy’s eyes widened, as if you suddenly grew two heads, and your face stiffens, not knowing what you said wrong until he began laughing with a hand over his mouth. “It’ll just be the two of us,” he tells you, which struck you with confusion. Ever since you could remember, Christmas would always be spent with the boys at wherever Mingyu would be. You didn’t mind at all, but he goes and cancels all of it without even telling you. “Why?” you stammer.

His eyebrows draw together as if he was pleasantly surprised, “don’t you want to spend time with just the two of us?” He crumpled the paper bag, stepping on the trash can’s pedal to toss the bag in.

Another “but” came out of you right before Mingyu continues. “I know you do,” he teases, nudging your arm lightly. You share a brief laugh with him, and he exclaims with enthusiasm, “see?” Your eyes drifted away from him in embarrassment, bashfully pressing your lips together in an attempt to suppress a cheesy smile. As you looked away, a hand pats your head firmly. Mingyu strokes your hair for a while before planting a kiss on your pinkish cheek. “You do,” your cheeks grew several shades darker, a reaction Mingyu was pleased to see. He sheds his winter jacket and caught a glimpse of the wall clock.

The clock was still ticking and soon, it would already be three hours into the morning. Mingyu had realized that, and felt that it was time to retire.

“Well then,” he lets out a short sigh, “let’s go to bed!” His pajamas were on in no time, flowy and loose as he plops onto the space beside you. A loud breath left him, carrying all the stress he had bottled up, and he slipped under the cozy blanket. Mingyu squirms closer and closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you towards the middle of the bed.

The puppy Mingyu had brought home found the bed, barking as she couldn’t reach the edge of the bed frame. He chuckles and leans down to scoop her up, letting her down on the space between your legs and his. She presses the folded comforter with her tiny paws, adjusting to the new environment she found herself in. When she deemed it safe, her body curled to sleep.

“She’s one of my gifts for you,” Mingyu watched it all unfold with a proud smile, as if he was a parent watching his child learning how to walk. “I didn’t know what to get you but I thought a puppy would be great,” he brushes a hand through the sleeping dog’s fur before returning the arm to its place around your waist, “I was sure you’d like her. And I think I’m right.”

“Merry Christmas,” he whispers with eyes fluttering close to fall into a peaceful slumber.

His words floated around your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about them. Of course you didn’t mind him bringing home a puppy, however you weren’t exactly fond of animals. Why did he say you liked her? Did you really?

Aside from the confusion, uneasy feelings arose regarding how hard it would be to take care of the little thing and you thought of returning the gift despite how disappointed Mingyu would be.

You thought about it properly. And while you did, your attention drifted towards the small smile on your boyfriend’s face as his chest quietly rose up and down, eventually moving towards the resting pupper that probably went through a lot today. You took one last look at both of them, a smile gracing your lips as you rolled over to your side and snuggled against his chest before closing your eyes.

Maybe taking a break wouldn’t be so bad.

You looked forward to Christmas with them, slipping into a deep sleep with sweet dreams of a Christmas morn filled with the fun and warmth you haven’t had in a while.