#pretty sure they came from one of the nearby cacti it was sitting next to

[forgedobsidian]

pretty sure these two are a type of haworthia but I don’t know for sure?? any guesses??

[vampiric-daydreams]

Inkling

Jasper x Reader

This is Part 2 of the Jasper miniseries. Here is Part 1.

Summary: After the negative events of the last few weeks, Alice offers an explanation that just doesn’t seem to add up. You believe there is more to the mysterious family that meets the eye.

Word Count: 2,540

Tags: @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @eggmettcullen @scuzmunkie @xcharlottemikaelsonx @oi-itsemily @cacti-succulents-andlesbians @aw0kenangel

A/N: There’s less Jasper in this chapter because a few things needed to happen in this part to keep the ball rolling. As the series progresses, the prerogatives of the Cullens will make more sense.

*

The buzzing chatter surrounding you broke the silence as you sat alone in a local café. It had been raining all day, and the people of Forks sought the solace of a sweet hot chocolate. You shifted in discomfort. Your socks were moist with dirty water you’d collected from splashing through a large puddle on your way in; and the pouring rain made your sleeves cling to your arms. You sat shivering at a corner table, goose bumps scattered across your exposed skin. The welcoming scent of coffee beans comforted you as you waited for your own hot drink to arrive.

A glare from a boy studying on the table beside you caused you to stop fidgeting with the sugar stick between your fingers. “Can you stop tapping?” he asked.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. You put the stick of sugar back in its place and took a deep, steady breath. You rarely met strangers, but lately you’ve been in a weird head space. An anonymous note in your locker had brought you here, requesting a meeting.

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she placed your scalding drink in front of you, the steam swirling from its surface. “And sorry for the wait. It’s always crazy here on these stormy days.”

“Thank you.” You weren’t in the mood for small talk right now. On top of this mystery meeting, you had gotten nowhere with the Cullen stuff. Everything had gone back to normal at school. No glares. No staring. No interacting of any kind. So, when Alice Cullen herself strutted through the door and straight towards you, the shock nearly knocked you over.

Her heeled boots clicked on the wooden floor. Stylishly dressed in an all-black ensemble with a trendy overcoat and a navy-blue scarf; her designer bag hung lavishly from the back of her chair as she slid into her place across from you. She smiled. “Thank you for coming, (Y/N).”

“What- seriously?” It came out louder than you intended, and the boy at the neighbouring table glared at you a second time. You whispered harshly, “I thought you guys were happy pretending I didn’t exist. Or do you have a new assumption to harass me about?”

Alice’s perfectly arched eyebrows formed a frown. “Actually, I came to apologise for our behaviour. Can I buy you a toasted sandwich or something?”

You scoffed. “A toasted sandwich won’t change my mind. What the hell was all of that? Actually, no. Never mind. I’ve been banned from talking to any of you, so I should leave.” Without letting it cool, you sculled your drink. The heat burned your throat as you tried not to wince. You couldn’t make a fool of yourself in front of a Cullen. Not again. You grabbed your phone and your keys and pushed your chair back.

“(Y/N), please. You deserve an explanation for everything.”

“Damn right I do!”

“Please sit and give me a chance to give you that. You’re welcome to leave, but please at least let me start?”

You plopped back down in your chair like a grumpy child and slouched. “Fine. Start.”

“Jasper was the first to notice. He noticed not long after the school year had started, but he mentioned nothing to us. Not that he needed to, he had no intentions - no offence.” You rolled your eyes. She swallowed. “But when Edward saw the way you looked at Jasper, he put it together. He’s gifted at reading people, and he felt you were getting too attached–”

“That was no-one’s assessment to make.” Your tongue still burned from your drink.

Alice nodded. “You’re right. It wasn’t. But Edward sees things in people… Often his own opinions and ideals surrounding certain topics will cloud his judgement. He mentioned his interpretation to Emmett in passing, who repeated it to Rosalie with different details. By the time I’d heard any of it, it sounded like you were plotting to separate us, which was why I was upset. I’m sorry, (Y/N). If I had known you had no intentions of actually breaking us up, I would have made them stop. No, I should have made them stop regardless of what I thought. Being a family for so long, we’re protective of each other. But I shouldn’t have let it reach the point that it did.”

The sugar stick once again found its way to your fingers as you stared at the girl in front of you. “Why are you telling me this?” It just didn’t sound right, despite Alice’s insistence.��

“Because I’ve seen how hurt you were by it, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself or believe you’re not worthy of receiving love. We behaved like a bunch of callous bullies. We’re sorry and so is Jasper.” A hard prick stabbed at your chest.

“It’s whatever. There isn’t anything we can do about it now. What’s done is done, right?”

“Jasper wanted to come and apologise to you in person, but he was afraid. He’s quite empathetic, which is why he couldn’t bear to talk to you yet. Even Edward-”

Edward. “He was right, in a way. While I had no intention to do something that would hurt you or make Jasper leave you, I certainly thought about what it would be like if he was mine. It just seems like a big jump to make.” Alice’s brown eyes twitched as they widened. “He assumed I thought about something and then launched into action against me–and you say he’s good at reading people? It just all seems a little weird.”

“Yes, our parents had a word with Edward about jumping to conclusions like that. He just didn’t want to see me get hurt. Jasper in particular feels terrible about how he handled everything.” You feigned interest as she tried to deflect your attention with Jasper’s name. “He thought reminding you of his love for me would make you change your mind about him, and when that didn’t work his first instinct was to shut you out. This should be coming from him, not me, but please understand that he regrets how his behaviour translated. And (Y/N), we all want to apologise to you. You’re allowed to talk to us, you know. We don’t bite. And the others are too ashamed to speak to you themselves without being approached first. Will you give us a chance to make it right?”

If you were ever getting a shot at finding out what they were hiding, this was it. 

You smiled sweetly, “I’d prefer it much better if we did that.”

Alice returned your smile, her kohl-lined eyes lighting up. “Remember, there’s no rush. After what happened, you don’t owe us anything. Take as long as you need.”

You nodded your head. “I will.”

 *

 For the first time in weeks, you arrived at school with a smile and something to look forward to. From the moment you entered the campus, you took the precaution to not actively think about your intention to dig deeper. It still seemed ridiculous, and you were sure you’d be cringing at yourself later on–but the circumstances were just too weird to you.

You spent the better half of the morning surrounded by your friend group, not ready to branch out and find the Cullens just yet. If they were as sorry as Alice had made them sound, they could stew in it for a while longer. You had already planned which order you intended to approach them in, too. Emmett would be first, as he seemed the least threatening. Next was Rosalie, and lastly Edward, who was the root cause of all of this.

You weren’t ready to go anywhere near Jasper.

The bell rang, and your group said their goodbyes as they went to their lockers. You fumbled with the combination lock on yours and gritted your teeth when it wouldn’t open. “Pretty sure the code hasn’t changed since yesterday,” a deep voice sounded from your right. Emmett. This was wrong; it was supposed to be you approaching them.

“Well I’ve had a rough few weeks.” You shot back. His wide smile faltered for a moment before shrinking away.

“I’m sorry about my contribution to that.” He spoke softer than usual. His eyes were the same warm gold as Jasper’s. Were they biologically related? Wait. No thoughts on campus.

“Yeah, the entire thing really sucked for me.”

“I didn’t want you to feel the way you did. I knew it wasn’t right. That excuses nothing, but I don’t want any bad blood between us. I’m really not that kind of guy.” His expression seemed genuine.

“You could have fooled me.” It came out before you could stop it. “Wait, no. Emmett I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair-”

“No, I get it.”

“No, you don’t. You did nothing. You didn’t even glare. I can’t be this mad at you.”

“I did nothing. That’s the problem. I let it blow out of proportion and by the time it got there, I couldn’t reign it back in. Alice gave you an idea of what happened, right? If I had kept my mouth shut after speaking with Edward, none of this would have happened.”

“If you had relayed the correct details and factored in Edward’s theatrics, none of this would have happened.” Rosalie appeared what seemed like out of thin air. You were sure you hadn’t seen her hovering nearby. Her warm brown eyes met your nervous gaze. You hadn’t been ready for any Cullens yet. “I’m sorry, too. You did nothing to warrant that reaction from us. I’m sorry for allowing myself to jump to those sorts of conclusions before you had even decided anything.”

If you had blinked, you would have missed Emmett nudging Rosalie with his elbow. No thoughts on campus. At least one storm was ending. Rosalie’s welcoming smile was not a sight you’d ever thought you’d see; and it was a clear sign that the discomfort would be over soon. But there were things - subtle things that didn’t always add up.

“I guess we’re cool then,” you said. You looked up at the couple properly. Although they didn’t compare to Jasper, they were both so attractive it was frustrating. It was the first time you’d seen them up close. Rosalie had the healthiest-looking flaxen hair you’d ever seen; and they both had such amazing skin. Neither of them had a single blemish to show. In fact, you recalled that Alice had pretty flawless skin as well—and Jasper’s complexion always looked so perfect. It was as if it blessed their entire family—which was even stranger because… Stop, just in case.

They were both smiling. Emmett reached out his hand for you to shake. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

“Thank you for letting us apologise,” said Rosalie, as the last bell rang and the hallway emptied. It wasn’t like they’d given you much of a choice.

 *

 Jasper had done nothing specifically to attract your attention. All he did was stroll over to his locker. But even just walking, the way he carried himself, how almost seemed to glide, never failed to knock the wind out of you. You caught his attention though, by staring, and he immediately looked at you. His bored expression suddenly drenched in regret. The negative feelings from the last few weeks consumed you; the humiliation, how repulsive you felt you were to him. There was an empty feeling in your chest, and as his apologetic amber eyes beckoned you over to him. Your legs moved before you could stop them.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk yet,” Jasper pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket. “But if you change your mind, call me?”

You clenched the paper tightly as it transferred from his fingers to yours, and your heart fluttered. Your mind went blank as you tried to respond. Open-mouthed and wide-eyed, you resembled a fish. Quickly, you turned away from him and walked back in the direction you came from. Your cheeks were burning as you continued to walk; thankful as you rounded the corner for not stumbling, but less enthused to see another Cullen in front of you. Alice. Again.

You knew it would continue to hurt you if you compared yourself to her; but she just looked so damn good all the time. If any of the Cullens were devastatingly beautiful, it was Alice - with emphasis on ‘devastating’. And the worst part of it was how nice she was trying to be to you. It was easier to soldier on when you could pretend she didn’t exist.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” She smiled kindly, eyebrows raised. You looked at her forehead, her skin didn’t wrinkle. It never did. She must have had some work done.

“S-Sorry, Alice,” you stammered, “I’m in a hurry.”

You picked up pace and rushed by her, taking refuge in the bathroom. She didn’t follow. You let out a sigh. You had come close to thinking again. You still scoffed at the idea that they could read minds or something, but you continued to guard your thoughts, anyway; and when you saw Alice’s eyes, one nearly slipped out. They were definitely much lighter yesterday, like chocolate - you were sure of it. Just then, they looked almost black.

It was driving you crazy. Tears began forming, but you refused to let them fall. Not over this. Not over something you were imagining. Jasper’s eyes flashed in your mind. That rich golden colour… When you’d first started liking him, you recalled Googling if his eyes were even possible and learning they were, but that they were rare; and for Emmett to share them as well was strange.

You bolted out of the bathroom and grabbed a random student passing by. She jolted from the shock of it. “Which of the Cullens are biologically related?” You sounded so aggressive, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

She chewed her bubble gum a few times and gave you a dumbfounded look before frowning at you. “Jasper and Rosalie Hale, obviously. What the hell is wrong with you?” She jerked her arm out of your grasp and shot daggers at you.

Unrelated, both with a scarce eye-colour. They seem to know what you’re thinking. They all look the same; pallid and tired-looking, yet alluring. You couldn’t stop yourself from going over the details.

You sprinted out into the parking lot, nearly knocking a guy down the stairs on your way. Before you could restrain yourself, you’d pulled a pen and a notebook out from your backpack and your hand began writing.

Wednesday. Alice, brown. 

Thursday. Alice, black. Rosalie, brown. Emmett, gold. Jasper, gold. 

[mahalidael]

OLYMPAHOMA CHAPTER 7

CHIRON TRAUMATIZES ME FURTHER, SOMEHOW

I stared at the menu for a solid minute before Juliet offered to read it to me.

“I’m good,” I said. “Just tired.”

When he heard about Slamlet’s showdown with me, Chiron forced me, Cyrus and Juliet to reconvene. After hearing about the whole fiasco, he told Juliet to take me to the saloon and buy me dinner. (“What? What’d I do?” “I suppose the incident with the fury was not your fault, but you did put her in a chokehold until she fainted.”)

Aside from a few weak protests, Juliet didn’t seem fussed. But because I focused hard on Chiron’s face, not his horsey bits, I noticed he seemed surprised by how easygoing she was. Cyrus seemed pretty shocked too, though he looked shocked so often his face could’ve been stuck like that. Either way I was curious.

When the group dissipated, I hung back.

“Are you coming?” Juliet had shouted at me from halfway down the road.

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” I called to her.

Cyrus looked at me like I was a rabid dog teetering in his direction. Can’t say I blame him. I hadn’t been the most mild-mannered girl lately. “Yo, Cyrus,” I said calmly. “What’s up with Juliet?”

Cyrus fidgeted with this weird little necktie thing he had. Was it an ascot? Whatever. “I think she likes you,” he admitted.

“What makes you think that?”

“She’s not normally this c-cordial with newcomers. Even when she’s the person who brought them here.”

“Then why’d she take a shine to me?”

He sighed and looked into the distance where Juliet was walking. “Um… I could just be spitballing, but I think she’s jealous.”

“...Jealous?” I looked over myself. What could she be jealous of?

“Eh, not you. Everyone else. All the time, she’s surrounded by people who — even if they’re constantly getting jumped by monsters, at least they have some power that can repel them. She doesn’t, uh, have any.”

“What do you mean?”

Cyrus sucked in air through his teeth. “We know she’s a demigod because she passed all the tests, but… otherwise, there’s nothing. She doesn’t have any powers. The gods say they don’t know whose kid she is. And, um, it’s been three years without any word.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So she likes me because we both suck.”

“Yeah.”

“That was the longest I ever heard you talk without stuttering.”

Cyrus sighed and waved me away. “Give it a minute.”

But back to the saloon.

The saloon Vivian was meant to manage, Dio’s, was still open for business. Technically, the town has two saloons: the Olympahoma Inn, a sanitized theme-park setup. The floors are clean, there’s a set schedule for tourist attractions, and what little alcohol is served is historically-inaccurate swill. Then we have Dio’s.

Dio’s is basically a western saloon on LSD. If you’re Misted, you might think that you’re just in a particularly lawless Oklahoma bar, but I wasn’t. There were satyrs screaming “CHUG CHUG CHUG” at a couple of friends shotgunning beers. Underaged kids were barfing in the corners. And, of course, we can’t forget the giant stuffed and mounted lizard head on the wall, scaly mouth open, exposing hundreds of needlelike teeth.

The list of drinks was really high on the wall. “I can read it to you,” Juliet said.

“I’m good, just tired.”

“Did you lose your glasses or something?”

“I don’t need glasses.”

“So you just squint at stuff for fun?”

I ignored that remark. “This is the bar Vivian’s supposed to be running.”

“Yeah.”

“So if she’s not running it, why’s it still open?”

“It needs to be open,” she said, sitting on a bar stool. “It’s Dionysus’s sacred saloon. If we close it down, we’ll be in trouble.” She patted the stool next to her.

I sat down. “Why?”

“Well, Dionysus is this town’s protector. There’s a lot of towns like this, and each town has an Olympian god protecting it. Ours used to be Athena, but that was before 1879.” A bartender with straight yellow hair approached us. “Two kykeon, please,” Juliet asked.

“I should pay for that,” I said. “I’ve caused enough trouble.”

“It’s on me. Besides, what would you pay with?” Juliet produced a few bronze disks the size of sugar cookies from her skirt and slid them across the bar. The bartender sniffed them, then put them in the cash register.

“I hope Cyrus is getting home safe. It’s almost dark, something could jump him,” I said.

Juliet made a face like she’d licked a lemon. “Cyrus is mighty powerful, he can look after himself. It’s his fellow goodbloods I’d worry about.”

I hoped kykeon didn’t have alcohol in it. We were almost a decade underage.

“What’s a goodblood?”

“You’re a goodblood. Or rather, a god’s blood,” Juliet said, spinning her stool. “Hey, this one spins! Whee!”

“Focus, man, you’re supposed to exposit me.”

“Demigods in America, we used to call ourselves ‘godsblood,’ because we’re from a god’s bloodline. It eventually turned into ‘goodblood.’ Good thing too. We can’t say stuff like godsblood without people looking at us weird.”

The bartender had turned away and was preparing whatever it was Juliet had paid for. I didn’t pay much attention until I saw her rip out a handful of her hair and put it on the counter. “Is she supposed to do that?” I whispered.

“Oh, it’s fine, she’s a nymph,” Juliet said. I squinted at her hair. Now that I really looked, it was sticking out in all directions, like a grain plant. It was also growing back so fast I could see it pop out of her head. “She’s probably out of scotch barley.”

The bartender shook something into both drinks and gave them to us. “Thanks, Eudokia,” Juliet said.

I sniffed the drink curiously. “This is box wine with some parmesan floating in it.”

“Yeah it is,” Juliet said, slurping it up.

I grimaced. “That’s disgusting. I’m going home.”

“You do you, buddy.”

I walked around town for a while, trying to figure out what to do. It was getting dark. I knew my family was moving into town, but I wasn’t sure where our house was.

I walked back to the Fauntleroy. My banjo was still lying in the dust at the building’s side, so I picked it up. I needed to get a strap or something for this thing. Then something caught my eye.

There were weird sparks of white light coming from the back. Going back there without backup would be dumb — if it were a monster — but if I ran all the way back to Dio’s it would be too late, and I didn’t know where Cyrus was. Besides, I couldn’t figure what monster flashed like that.

I peeked around the corner. It was Helena.

She had a bow in her left hand, and an arrow (?) in her right. Except the arrow wasn’t an arrow, it was a beam of light that I thought was a fluorescent light bulb before I noticed it was moving.

I had my mouth open to say “hello,” but I shut it. Best to not startle somebody with a lightning bolt in their hand.

Helena had one eye closed to see the target better, which was already scorched in several places.

The bolt hit just one ring away from the middle.

“Nice shot,” I said.

Helena wasn’t surprised. “Hello, Annie,” she said, walking to the target and pulling out the lightning bolt. She twirled it in her hand. “Are you a good shot?”

“No.” I didn’t have to guess. At school, we’d briefly had archery, and I learned that my upper body strength was rotten. The bow I’d been using was strung for a middle schooler. Helena was jacked, so hers had to be tighter.

“Let me see.” The bolt evaporated in her hand. She handed me her bow and took a wooden arrow from her quiver. The bow was as tall as I was.

I notched the arrow, but could barely pull the string back. It landed in the dirt an arm’s length away.

“Eh. Everybody starts somewhere,” Helena said.

“I’ll say.”

She plucked the arrow out of the ground. “But I doubt you came out here to watch me shoot.”

“Chiron walked my stepmother home earlier. Do you know where that is?”

“Not personally, but I believe Sister Ernestine knows.”

“Sister Ernestine?”

“The prophetess. She knows everything in these parts.” She straightened her coat lapels and her quiver, putting the arrow back. “Though god knows where the snake’s slithered off to. She’s supposed to be in the temple, but she’s always away when you need her.”

“Where would you hide a temple in a desert?” I muttered to myself.

“That’s a good question,” Helena said.

She walked away silently. I stood there for an embarrassingly long time before realizing I was meant to follow.

Helena lead me off into the desert. Not terribly far, but a fair bit away from town. The light of Dio’s burned quietly on the horizon. “Are we supposed to be out here?” I said uneasily. Dad’s talk of coyotes and wolves in the Oklahoma wild hadn’t spooked me at the time, but now it was starting to gain relevance.

“I’m not going anywhere nobody’s been before,” Helena said. “If it were light out, you might see where the dirt’s been tamped down here.”

I couldn’t see much of anything. The dim light showed me a sterile desert, no cacti or nothing, and a jagged arrangement of rocks in the distance — which was what we were walking towards. I tilted my head. “That hill looks like—”

“Keanu Reeves?”

“I was going to say Jeff Goldblum.”

“Everyone has a different opinion.”

There was a small gap in the hill, which looked like an abandoned mine, with the wood framing and such. A metal sign nearby was illegible, but it looked like some form of “KEEP OUT.” Helena walked in without a second thought. I glanced at the sign, trying to read, but gave up in order to keep pace.

You would think that all long, dark corridors would echo, but not always. Ernestine’s mineshaft was strangely quiet for reasons I never puzzled out. I had to track Helena by the scent of residual vape juice, which is as unappealing as it sounds — especially since there were other smells in there. Cold, wet smells. And oddly, tea.

All of a sudden, Helena shouted “ERN-ES-TINE!”

I jumped. A powdery, muffled voice up ahead answered her. “Ye-es, what do you want?”

“Turn on the damn lights!”

Sister Ernestine huffed quietly. “Alright, you don’t have to shout...”

Something clicked distantly, and the mineshaft lit up with string lights. The tunnel was much lower than I had assumed, to the point where Helena was leaning over as to not hit her head on the ceiling.

A door to the side of the shaft opened, and a tiny woman shuffled  out, wearing a bathrobe and slippers. The smell of tea wafted out strongly. “Oh, hey,” I said. “We’ve met before. In the hospital.”

“Ye-es,” Sister Ernestine drawled. She sounded the way you expect an elderly witch to sound — high-pitched, cackling, cluck-like. “I believe we have, child. Now, it’s near sundown. May be wise to hurry up and ask your question. You know what lives in these sands at night.”

I didn’t, but I felt that I had an idea.

Helena rolled her eyes. I couldn’t figure why she disliked the sister so much. “Annie would like to know where her parents are staying tonight.”

I nodded. Sister Ernestine tapped her chin thoughtfully. “In an apartment above Dio’s. 8A. Helena will walk you home and you’ll let yourself in.”

“I don’t have a key,” I said.

Sister Ernestine paused. “Well, of course, I… I know that. And if Mrs. Zhu is still drunk asleep — which she is — she’s not going to answer the door...” She shuffled through her door.

I stood there, unsure what to do.

Sister Ernestine stuck her pointy hand out of the doorway. “C’mere!”

Helena, though still unhappy, made a “go on” gesture. I went into the door.

Somehow, in this mineshaft, there was a functioning house. The door I walked into led to a kitchen not out of place in a grandma’s house. There was a cup of tea sitting on her table, and a few medicine bottles. Sister Ernestine was banging around in her drawers, looking everywhere short of under the fridge for something. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d interrupted her.

“Should I help—?”

“No, no,” Sister Ernestine said. “It’s my problem. Terrible at organizing, I am. I lose things so often one day it’s going to kill me!”

I looked over the medicine bottles. Aspirin, riboflavin, acepromazine, strychnine, epitol. If losing things didn’t kill her, liver failure would. Finally, after looking everywhere short of under the fridge, Sister Ernestine produced results. “Got it!”

She dropped a heavy iron key in my hand. I raised my eyebrows. “Do you keep people’s house keys just lying around?”

She shook her head. “Nonsense, dearie. That’s a skeleton key. Got it off some pesky Romans a few years back. It’ll get you in any door you need.” She patted me on the shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” she said. “I wish those sisters of yours a speedy recovery.”

I walked in the apartment door and immediately fell asleep on the couch without noticing my surroundings.

What? I was tired. Sue me.

I was back in the Mobile Museum of Art. It was near the exhibit that I got stabbed in, except I wasn’t. Stabbed, I mean. Not at the moment.

The museum was closed, so it was dark. A janitor wheeled his cart past me, shining a flashlight.

I followed the janitor.

I hadn’t been back in the museum since I was attacked. It was just as weird as I remember, except now it was darker and considerably spookier.

The janitor mopped lethargically, and I trailed behind him. I wasn’t conscious of the decision. I was just doing dream things, as you do. If I were a little more lucid, I probably wouldn’t have done something that stupid.

Once I got over the fact that I was in the museum after dark, there wasn’t much to see. Just a dark room and a janitor janitoring.

I got bored and decided to wander ahead.

The exhibit has no doors, just one continuous chamber. That’s got to be terrible for the heating bill.

I stayed only a few paces ahead of the janitor. With my newfound circumstances, I had an altogether different feeling about being alone in a room full of monsters, even if they were just statues.

I was having all the wrong thoughts. Instead of thinking of good questions like “why am I here” or “why can’t the janitor see me” I was actually trying to read the placards under the art and failing, because not only is my reading bad in real life, but apparently my dream self has some shit vision too.

Eventually I passed the time waving at security cameras.

I wanted to say “hi,” but my mouth was full of cotton. I spotted one in the corner ahead of the janitor and ran ahead. “Hewwo,” I slurred, flapping my arm. “Hewwo.”

Yeah, go on and laugh.

My joy was short-lived, as I slipped and landed on my ass.

It didn’t hurt, but it was a terrible inconvenience.

I realized I was covered in a fine white ash.

Under me, there was a circle of deeply scorched floor that extended several yards in every direction. And on the wall in front of me, there was an outline of a seven foot tall man.

There was Polyphemus, staring at me with his one stone eye. The janitor ignored it all and mopped.

Distantly, there was a knocking noise.

I turned around. Where the ash outline on the wall had been, there was a door.

The janitor was gone. It was just me and the door, which was ten feet high but otherwise a normal paneled door.

knock knock knock

It was a quiet, but unmistakable knock at the door.

“You should get that,” a girl whispered in my ear. “Your father’s waiting for you.”

The girl—

I woke up.

knock knock knock

I turned on a lamp.

I made eye contact with the centaur who was in the midst of a very passionate kiss.

I looked at the horse on the receiving end.

They both froze.

“This is... not my house,” I said.

I turned off the lamp.

[writingmask]

Ride ‘Em Cowboy! (McHanzo Week, Day 3)

Prompt: Undercover or Downtime 

Rating: General Audiences (warnings for alcohol)

Words: 2063

Summary: A new bar opens up in town, and McCree convinces Hanzo to go on a field trip.

Notes: Based on this video and written because @regalmisfortune told me not to. Beta’d by the lovely @stationoracle. 

[AO3]

All was peaceful for a blessed moment in the common room of Watchpoint Gibraltar. The gentle murmuring of the television filled the air, mingling with distant conversation as everyone went about their business. It was something of a day off for everyone; Winston had decided to declare a holiday rather than let his agents run themselves into the ground in a move that had just about the whole team singing his praises.

Jesse certainly was. He turned his gaze from the nature documentary on the screen to the man leaning against his side. Hanzo was out for the count, poor thing. If Winston hadn’t called for mandatory time off, Jesse would’ve had to do something drastic to get his partner to rest. As it was, with nothing else to do, all it took was about twenty minutes of footage of hawks in flight and some subtle arm maneuvers on Jesse’s part to convince the great assassin to actually take a goddamned nap.

He smiled to himself as he watched Hanzo snore softly beside him, curled under his arm. It was rare that he got to see him so unguarded outside of their rooms. The simple fact that he had his feet on the couch was practically a sign of the apocalypse. He looked so small when he was asleep; and Jesse felt his heart melt just a teeny bit more as he did his best to commit the sight to memory and reached out to brush a lock of hair from his face.

“Holy shit! Guys!”

Jesse yanked his hand back as Hanzo startled awake, almost falling off the couch as he scrambled to get up. Jesse jumped up and had to do a quick check to make sure there wasn’t a knife in Hanzo’s hand ready to throw down. Old habits died hard. Satisfied no one was about to get stabbed, Jesse followed Hanzo’s confused glare to the door where Lúcio came striding in. He was waving a piece of paper, though he froze as he caught sight of the two startled men.

“Oh… Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to interrupt, but you have got to check this out!” He bounded forward and slammed the paper down on the coffee table. Hanzo sat back down, rubbing his face and probably reminding himself that he’s not allowed to strangle teammates. Jesse sympathized. Lúcio, unaware of how close he’d come to the abyss, looked positively giddy. Jesse shook his head and picked up what looked to be a flyer of some sort. Apparently some kind of new bar was opening in the nearby town…?

Jesse’s eyebrows rose as he read the advertisement, a large smile slowly growing on his face as he reread it to ensure that no this wasn’t some sort of prank. He felt Hanzo lean over his shoulder and turned to show him the flyer with a grin rivalling Lúcio’s.

“No.”

“C’mon, darlin’. We have to go.”

“Jesse. I will not–”

“Babe, please?”

“We are not going to a place called ‘Tandy’s Taphouse.’”

                                                        oOo

Jesse won the argument. It had taken two sweethearts, four darlin’s, and a punkin, but he’d convinced Hanzo to come with him and the others. As an added bonus he’d even managed to get Hanzo to add a bandana on top of the plain button-down he wore in town. (

That

had taken a whispered sugar directly into Hanzo’s ear, and Jesse was pretty damned proud of himself.)

He tore his eyes from the cutest thing in the west to inspect the troops lined up in the light of the neon cactus logo of the bar. Hana had already taken out her phone to document the entire evening, and Lúcio and Genji had both dressed for the occasion with bandanas as well, raided from Jesse’s own closet. Lena kept giggling and bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to get the night started. As for Reinhardt, he looked about as cheerful as he ever did, eager to spend time with good drinks and better friends.

“Alright, folks,” Jesse said as he put hooked his thumbs on his belt and sauntered forward with is serape fluttering in the wind like a magnificent cape, leading the charge and smirking at Hanzo’s exasperated sigh, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

He threw open the doors and the group was immediately assaulted by the Wild West. Jesse felt his heart sing for joy as he looked around. It was as though someone had managed to take the entire Southwestern United States and distill them into a single European location. Neon signs advertising beer were everywhere with cacti and cattle and boots. Down-home country sayings on wooden signs joked about the excesses of booze carried dire warnings about cowpokes who left the seat up in the bathroom. Country music blared overhead with a twanging guitar and proudly singing about horses and ex-wives with nary a hint a shame.

Jesse wiped a bit of moisture from his eyes. It was like coming home.

There was a collective gasp from his group, and they dispersed to take in the atmosphere and find a table. Jesse watched them go with a swell of pride in his heart as he moseyed up to the bar with Hanzo in tow. After ordering their drinks, Jesse leaned back and surveyed the building with a content sigh.

“Was it everything you hoped for?” Hanzo asked, scooting close enough that their hands touched. That was about all he could bring himself to do in public, but it still made Jesse grin like a loon.

“Oh yeah. There are places like this all over back home. Didn’t realize just how much I missed it.”

Hanzo was quiet for a moment, thinking. “We’ll have to ensure this place stays in business then, won’t we?”

Jesse’s eyes widened as studied his boyfriend for a moment before nodding with a gentle smile. “Thanks, darlin’.” Hanzo shrugged and answered his smile with one of his own. It wasn’t much, but it felt as good as an “I love you.”

They were in the middle of sipping their glasses of whiskey and counting the stars in each other’s eyes when Genji and Lena bounded up, flushed and filled with mischief.

“We found something,” Genji said without preamble, throwing his arm about his brother’s shoulders and clearly ignoring the resulting attempt to dislodge him. “You have to come see.” Jesse and Hanzo exchanged looks of curiosity, but neither Genji nor Lena seemed interested in elaborating as they dragged the duo with them to where the rest of their gang was waiting in front of a wooden rail, reminiscent of an arena.

Jesse’s eyes lit up as he realized it was an arena, and that smack dab in the middle of that arena sat a mechanical bull in all its red, white, and blue glory. “Oh hell yes,” he said. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

Lena giggled and tugged him forward. “We’re all going to try it and figured you didn’t want to miss your turn.”

“Well that was right kind of you, ma’am,” Jesse replied in an exaggerated drawl. He glanced back to see how Hanzo was taking this and was mildly surprised to see him in conversation with his brother. There was a breath of unease ghosting through him, but neither Shimada seemed angry or even irritated. That was progress, and Jesse returned his attention to the bull and the rest of the crew as everyone queued up to try the machine out.

What followed was an event that, through Hana’s determination to have a record of everything for her stream, would later become infamous enough to reach several top viral video lists as well as the Overwatch end of the year video reel.

Hana herself went first, and Jesse had to admit she had a lot of pluck despite getting slung off the bull’s back within the first second and a half. Reinhardt waved off his turn, claiming he was too old to be thrown about by anything other than his dearest Ana and moving to lean against the rail next to Hanzo, who’d somehow managed to retain his drink. Lúcio fared slightly better, lasting three seconds before slamming into the safety mats lining the arena. Lena did her absolute best, but she found herself flying as the machine started up. Surprisingly, Genji lasted almost eight seconds. It figured that a super ninja assassin had some form of balance training.

Finally, it was Jesse’s turn. He secured his hat on his head and waved to Hanzo for luck, his heart fluttering as Hanzo actually waved back, and stepped towards the metal beast. He squared off, taking a deep breath before launching himself on its back. The moment his butt hit the saddle, the bull was off, bucking wildly underneath him. But Jesse was an expert, and he hung on for dear life, clutching with his knees and yelling up a storm. He held on until the clock said fifteen seconds and figured that he’d showed them how it was done enough and jumped off. Applause sounded through the bar, and he swept off his hat and took a bow in the direction of Hana’s camera before making his way back to Hanzo’s side.

Who was still talking with Genji. The unease returned, but Jesse brushed it away as Genji clapped Hanzo on the shoulder with an air of encouragement. Everything was fine. Probably. He grinned wide and propped himself next to Hanzo.

“Well, partner, whadja think?”

Hanzo took a sip of his drink, clearly thinking through his answer. There was something percolating behind those dark eyes, and Jesse felt a thrill of excitement at the scent of a challenge. “It was… alright.”

“Alright? Alright?” Jesse repeated, clutching a hand to his heart. “I’ll have you know I was once a professional bull-rider!” Well, undercover as a professional bull-rider, but it counted.

His boyfriend scoffed and had the audacity to smirk at him. “I suppose you’ve gotten a bit rusty, then.”

“Oho, think you can do better, then?”

Hanzo drained the remaining whiskey from his glass before slamming it down on the rail with a haughty expression that looked downright dangerous. “Watch and learn, cowboy,” he said in a growled voice that gave Jesse shivers before hopping over the railing and striding towards the bull.

Which he proceeded to sit on backwards.

Jesse gulped and tried to regain his words as he heard a suspicious snicker from Genji. Yeah, something was definitely up. “Uh, Hanzo…? That’s not–”

With a mechanical whirr, the bull started up. Jesse winced, fully expecting Hanzo to slide off the beast’s back immediately. Instead, Hanzo slid forward just a hair and then… Jumped. Up. To a standing position. And started dancing.

Jesse’s jaw hit the floor.

He couldn’t tell how long Hanzo danced on the back of the bucking bull, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was the smug smirk on his face as he jumped and stepped back and forth on the back of the bull, even dropping briefly into a sitting position once or twice, his eyes never leaving Jesse’s face. Dimly he heard Lúcio and Hana both cheering him on and Genji laughing beside him at whatever face he was making, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hanzo.

And the the asshole ripped off his bandana and threw it at him. Jesse caught it on reflex before dying as he realized Hanzo had rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his muscled body. Suddenly the room was too hot and Jesse couldn’t breathe. Hanzo grinned straight through his soul and dismounted as lightly as any gymnast. The bar erupted into cheers and laughter as he, too, took a bow for Hana.

He swaggered over to Jesse and placed a finger under his chin, closing his mouth. “What’s the matter?” he asked, cheeks flushed and eyes dancing merrily. Jesse’s reply was little more than a gurgle.

“Come on, now, Jesse,” Hanzo said with a laugh, leaning to murmur straight into his poor frozen cowboy’s ear. Jesse was pretty sure he’d died and was heaven at this point. Or maybe he’d fallen off the bull and hit his head. But then, that wouldn’t explain the cackling from Genji next to him.

“You should know by now that I have plenty of experience in riding.”

[jamesandanna12]

Mendoza (Argentina) to Cafayate (Argentina) - 23 Jan - 2 Feb 2017

Leaving Mendoza was hard work. The traffic, fumes and endless crossroads without traffic lights... It took us a while to get out of the city. The temperature seemed to rise with every minute and after an hour on the bikes, we needed to stop. We pulled into a rural petrol station to get coffee. 

There was a family sitting outside who asked about the Irish stickers on our bikes. We got talking to them and discovered that they were Argentines living and working in Loughrea in Ireland! It really is a small world ☺

It was their last week of holidays before taking a long series of flights back to Ireland.  They were incredibly friendly and we had a lovely time talking to them. 

We enjoyed meeting Nelson, Cecilia, Ignacio and their two other grown up kids very much. We know they are reading this so a big hello from us 👋👋👋

We finished our coffees looking at all the vines around the petrol station. 

It was time to set off again. Meeting Nelson and the family cheered us up a lot ☺ We didn't have far to go and the remaining distance flew very quickly. It was incredibly hot - 42c so we had to keep stopping to drink water.

We arrived at our pre-booked hotel in San Juan, parked the bikes, took off all the bags, carried them about 50m from our garage to the hotel, climbed two flights of stairs... then showered and collapsed on the bed. It's incredible how difficult things are in such heat! Having made the mistake of not having air-conditioning in Mendoza, we made sure our air-con in San Juan was fantastic! 😉

San Juan was really nice. We loved walking around the town. It was always busy but not overly crowded, everyone walked around the square and pedestrianised streets in the cool of the evening.  You got the impression that it was the main outing for a lot of people. Frankly, it was how I imagined Mendoza to be like..... but it wasn't.  James really liked San Juan too.

We planned to leave the following morning but when we went to the hotel's dining room for breakfast, the wind was howling outside! Bad memories of the Patagonian wind came rushing back! 😢 So we decided to stay an extra day.

We had another coffee watching the wind outside when we noticed a little map on our place mats at breakfast marking the location of the principal shrine for La Difunta Correa in a place called Vallecito. Riding around Argentina we had seen dozens and dozens of Difunta Correa shrines by the roadside, often surrounded by lots of plastic bottles of water. We decided to visit the shrine the following day.

Having an extra day in San Juan was nice and relaxing. We walked around for hours.

We found a lovely outdoor restaurant for dinner 😊

The following morning we set off for a small rural town called San Agustin De Valle Fertil. We diverted a little to Vallecito in order to see the shrine of Difunta Correa. 

This is the legend:

The husband of Deolinda Correa' was forcibly recruited around the year 1840, during the Argentine civil wars. When he became sick, he was abandoned by the Montoneras (partisans). In an attempt to reach her sick husband, Deolinda took her baby and followed the tracks of the Monteneras through the desert of San Juan Province. When her supplies and water ran out, she died. Her body was found several days later by gauchos who were driving cattle through. They were astonished when they saw the dead woman's baby was still alive, feeding from her "miraculously" ever-full breast.  Consequently people believe in the miracle powers of Difunta (literally "defunct") Correa.

The shrine:

People pray to Difunta Correa to sustain them in times of difficulty or to help them with a major life event such as when they want to buy a car or build a house. When their wish is fulfilled, they bring a cardboard model of the house or the number plate of their car to Vallecito as a thank-you. Often they will leave engraved plaques of thanks. There are tens of thousands.  Bottles of water are also left to sustain Deolinda as she lies dying of thirst.

It was fascinating to see such devotion from people. Up to 200,000 people can visit the shrine during weekends and holidays. Incredible.

We left Vallecito to continue our journey north. The scenery was very nice but it kept getting darker and darker. We hoped not to get wet.

We finally reached San Agustin. We checked in to a small hotel with an outdoor pool. Even though it was freezing cold, I (Anna) had to have a swim. It was fabulous! 😀 Oh how much I miss swimming!

We were told that the town of San Agustin was a gateway town to the Moon Valley National Park (Valle De la Luna). Ha! We were definitely the only tourists in town.  No one was organising trips to the National Park and we even struggled to find a restaurant for dinner... 

We walked around, saw everything in town and decided to ride to the National Park the following morning, even though it was 70km each way. 

The following morning we headed off to Valle de la Luna. It was a beautiful ride.

The park had a rule whereby visitors can only drive around the park in a prescribed circuit, accompanied by a ranger and driving in convoy with other vehicles. The whole circuit took four hours. We were very disappointed as four hours slow riding in full bike gear in 37c was a miserable thought and a recipe for disaster (serious dehydration). We saw the convoy leave - we would have not been happy riding in such dusty and hot conditions.

We knew we would be riding through similiar landscape further north anyway so we took some photos and headed back to San Agustin.

The heat was getting to us and we were very glad we didn't sign up for the four hours! It took us a while to get back but at least the scenery was lovely.

The following day we set off for the city of La Rioja. The scenery was very nice!

When we finally arrived in La Rioja, there wasn't much to the place. The city was pleasant to walk around. That's the difference between backpacking and travelling overland on bikes - we have to travel long distances to get to the nice places whereas backpacking, we could get on an overnight bus and wake up in the next pretty destination. Traveling the way we do is definitely more challenging, both physically and mentally, but it is also more rewarding 😊

We found a great people watching spot in the central square and stopped for a beer.

The next day we headed for the city of Catamarca. We always wanted to see it because of its colonial history. It was a nice ride. 

We stopped for a drink of water and a lovely dog came out of nowhere. He was so cute! ☺

We arrived in Catamarca tired but with a pre-booked hotel so we didn't have look for a place to stay.

The cathedral in Catamarca was magnificent!

It was lovely and peaceful walking around 😊 

Most shops had "offers" in the windows. Shoe shops were the most amusing..... Argentine women love their high heel platforms. It's the funniest look ever!

The following day was going to be a long one. We wanted to get to Cafayate - a town 380km away, across a 3200m pass and with about a million squiggly bends. The ride was spectacular! 

 Lovely tree lined roads...

Twisty roads...

Lots of tobacco...

Gorgeous lake...

High pass...

Then more rugged terrain...

Lots and lots of cacti...

And of course many reminders that Las Malvinas son Argentinas (The Falklands are Argentine)...

And finally, near Cafayate, vineyard after vineyard...

Finally we arrived in Cafayate ☺

We were very tired. It was a long, hot day's riding. But the work for the day wasn't done...  We couldn't find anywhere to stay so we had to camp. There were four campsites in town, three of them unbelievably crowded. The fourth one was really small and not at all full. We decided to pitch a tent there. 

By the time we finished setting up the tent it was 8.30pm! We were exhausted. After a shower and a forgettable bite to eat, we collapsed in our tent. It was a miserable night as some of the people in a nearby tent decided to have a singing competition until early hours... 😬 

We got up a bit grumpy, took a photo of our tent and went out for breakfast. 

Cafayate was a lovely town centred around wine. 

There were beautiful vineyards everywhere! 

We love vineyards and wine tours so we decided to visit El Esteco vineyard. 

El Esteco had amazing varieties of grape including divine Torrontes and Tannat.

It was a lovely place and a lovely tour. We learnt a lot about some of the grape varieties we weren't that familiar with. Gorgeous place!

We went back to our campsite only to find the place completely empty. Result! No noisy neighbours 😁

We went out for a drink in the square - a bottle of El Esteco Torrontes seemed appropriate 😀

In the afternoon we had a torrential downpour. The usually dry river bed looked quite different. 

Before:

After:

We really fancied a nice steak that evening. Having been disappointed so many times with steak in Argentina we didn't think we would find anything nice.

We walked towards the market and saw this tiny local restaurant - the smell was divine!! It was by far the best steak we have EVER had!!!!!! 

 That really was the best dinner on this trip so far. We were so happy 😁

It was a lovely last evening in Cafayate. We loved our time there. The following morning we were going to Salta which was supposed to be beautiful. We planned to stay there for four nights as it coincided with the rugby weekend. 

As we left Cafayate on Ruta 40 we passed the distance marker for kilometre 4340. Ruta 40 is such a long road. Cafayate was some 2,900km distant from when we first rode on Ruta 40 back in Patagonia.