#pretty sure my bradycardia no longer exists anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

on-stolen-sunbeams · 2 months ago

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PI prof just sent me a grant application thing that I should fill out bc undergrad in research! It me! and I’ve already been doing a ton of writing for the actual paper but this makes it real like really real outside of the safe bubble of the lab and given the lab will be closed over next summer (probably) I gotta start figuring out what I’ll be doing bc I want to do research. Might be kind of freaking out a ton.

on the upside, multivariable prof is a wicked fast grader and I did better than I assumed (still not good but passable) so that’s nice :)

#so the entirety of this week has been not great for my heart rate or chillness #pretty sure my bradycardia no longer exists anymore #But the lab thing is just. Scary. Like idk #I’m not doing research on a topic I picked out per se #Instead I’m just fully fleshing out one that got abandoned when the lab was on hiatus #I have no ducking clue where we currently get funding; our department recently got a ton of new stuff and ik we have everything we need #Also I’m currently the only undergrad in that lab #I keep hearing that people wanna join! From other department people But then they don’t which sorta sucks even if idk them #Even tho prof PI mentions it it sorta dies off #I’ll likely be doing all the writing with pi prof saying she’d look over for things to improve #But when I joined the lab my singular motivation was to like just help out bc I’m bad at making big decisions #And so I figured prof/grad student mentioned on (out of date apparently) site would be main person #And now I’m scared shitless #Prof PI genuinely seems to think I can do this and even though I don’t wanna prove her wrong I’m terrified I might #os2.txt #lab notes

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