#pretty please with cherries on top?

[hantenguclonesimp-minuszoha]

My elbow hurts.

GOOFIES :D

[mothsandbees]

artist rendition of what varric was probably imagining was gonna happen @ the ritual site.

[soapyakships]

ジェヘナ x カトラリー

[backpackingspace]

learning to cook sure is something!!

[cosmicanakin]

gonna need him to disrespectfully blow my back out please ...

[strawberrybyers]

stranger things instagram channel is always “here’s a latte” “here’s some garbage cans” “here’s a wall filled with posters” and never “here’s a byler selfie”

[str8upjorkinit]

"This is the last thing I'll ever ask of you ♡"

"Yeah you said that the last 12 times asshole"

[yerrmar]

Charlie Bushnell as Nightwing is a need not a want

[that-gay-gal]

Sooo I made these a while ago and forgot to share em but here’s sum more Raph reaction images you can use!!

Also I’m like a few days late but happy belated anniversary to the Rottmnt movie!!

I haven’t gotten the chance to rewatch it yet but rest assured I will return with more Raph angst after I do

AGH I love those stupid show and movie so much. It’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve met so many good friends because of this cartoon and it’s amazing.

Nickelodeon. please. im on my knees begging you for a season 3. i desperately need more Raph. PLEASE. I could go on for hours about this.

Alright, bye guys :]

[xayspancakeee]

xavier - “i don’t mind if we turn into birds and napping in the clouds.” ahhhhhhhhhh, no need to be birds to snuggle together we can do that right NOW. 🥰

zayne - “i look forward to seeing her more than anything.” likewise baby, likewise. 🩷

rafayel - “it wasn’t romantic enough, i say you should add something like a true love’s kiss.” shalalala don’t be scared you got the mood prepared go on and kiss the girl~ 😘

sylus - “it’s a bit childish, but it’s fun to play with her.” i feel the same mr vampire. 😚

glad that the boys had fun during the event. (ㅅ´˘`)

devs, this will be a permanent feature in-game right?

[hessolivagant]

F ALL OF YOU NON HOMOSEXUAL BELIEVERS BACK THEN, I KNEW IT. WE KNEW IT. LUCA AND ALBERTO ARE GAYYY HELL YEAH I love winning

[hyperpotamianarch]

Well, since this post got a bit less traction so far (as much as it means anything, which, I'll be fair, it doesn't), I have decided to update it a bit! The most important part, right now, is Eastern Europe. Apparently, there has been an explosion in Jewish population there around that era in our world, so it might do well to understand why:

Expulsion.

You see, every self respecting European country had, once in its history, banished its Jews. Be it from Britain in 1290, France during the 14th century, various Italian states during the 16th, Spain in 1492 or Portugal in 1497... And I've skimmed over most of it, really. Scandinavian countries can boast to never requiring any such thing, because no Jews were allowed there until the 19th century. And yes, I'm going to keep restating that because I find it genuinely surprising.

Anyway, apparently the 16th century was full of expulsions not only from Italy, as mentioned, but from Germany as well. And right after a bunch of banishments in the 15th century - including, apparently, from Sardinia, Sicilia, Provence and Austria as well as Spain and Portugal. Those expulsions, in turn, followed the Black Death and the pogroms stemming from the antisemitic theory that Jews brought it about. So, basically, Western Europe wasn't very nice to Jews at the time.

The Polish kings, however, took a liking to the economical boost Jews regularly offered, and were more than willing to accept them - which eventually led to Eastern Europe becoming the largest center of Judaism until WWII.

Now, I'll be honest: there was one actually effective Jewish Expulsion - the one from Britain. The rest didn't really cleanse Jews from their lands, though the Spanish and Portugese Expulsions were very effective in erasing signs of the Jewish religion in their lands. The other expulsions, though, weren't as thourough and there tended to be some Jews left there. That might change with the advent of the Magisterium, though only might.

Another point, before I go on to explain how screwed the world's Jews are in a world where the Jewsade occure: many of the banished Jews from Spain went to the Ottoman Empire. If we do want to be more precise about things, they went just about anywhere: the Netherlands, Italy, France, North Africa... But the Ottoman Empire accepted them especially with open arms, with the Sultan Bayezid the Second proclaiming that Ferdinand and Isabella were foolish to give up their economic superiority on a silver platter to him. For the next couple of centuries, the Ottoman Empire was very warm toward Jews. In addition, they were the ones backing theJewsih pirates in their efforts against Spain.

All right, now we can talk about the Jewsade and why it's so stupid. You see, the Ottoman empire controlled the Holy Land at the time. The very same Ottoman Empire that helped the Jews expelled from Spain and Portugal. And who does David Reubeni turned to for help against them? To the Portugese king, of course!

All right, I can get it. From what I'm given to understand, whoever Reubeni was - he probably came from some Muslim country in the east, perhaps Yemen. He was described as dark skinned, and apparently spoke Arabic in addition to Hebrew. My guess is, the guy knew Muslim opression up close, but watched the Christian one from afar. He may not have realized that the Ottoman Empire was better for Jews than any European power.

It's a good thing he failed gaining their support, then, because otherwise I suspect he'd have caused a disaster. Beyond the mere fact he won't be the one ruling the land even if he conquered it, antagonizing the Ottoman Empire is... not a good idea. Even if he had any semblance of success, he'd have been immediately assaulted by Portugese soldiers claiming he conquered the land for them on one side, and by angry Ottomans on the other. Not to speak of the likelihood of Chales V, the Holy Roman Emperor, deciding he wanted a bite as well. And no matter who got the land in the end, the Jews there and in the rest of the Ottoman Empire are screwed.

Why do I think so? Well, it's easy to understand if we're talking Christians. Portugal wasn't nice to Jews at the time, remember? Emperor Charles V Might be better, but I'm not really sure. The real question, though, is about the Ottoman Empire. And my answer is simple enough. Antagonizing people for belonging to the same nation and religion as the people who attacked you? Where have I heard that one before?

The Sultan himself might actually try to protect his Jews, honestly. He might actually think better of it. The people won't, though. So, the Jewsade would likely be disasterous to all the Jews, involved and uninvolved.

However, the Jewsade isn't a necessary result of the actual alterations Lyra's world has compared to ours. Even without it, though... John Calvin as pope might want to create a unified front behind the Magisterium over the entirety of Western Europe at the very least. He apparently had clear views regarding the involvement of the Church in matters of the state. Him taking over Catholicism and turning it into the Magisterium...

Experts disagree regarding how antisemitic Calvin was. Some say he was the least antisemitic than the other reformators, such as Martin Luther. Others claim he was a little more than that. Either way, he wasn't a huge Judophile. It is plausible, but not certain, that under him most of Europe will carry out expulsions like the ones in Spain and Portugal.

Now, it gets really complicated. Because... remember Poland? With the whole "accepting western Jews with open arms" thing? Yeah, they're Catholics. As a matter of fact, outside of Greece, Ukraine and Russia, most eastern European states were Catholic at the time (not that greece and Ukraine existed, exactly, as independant states, but you get what I mean). I don't know what was their relationship with the pope, but transferring the Papal seat to Geneva will make it ever-so-slightly closer. I'm sure experts on Polish Catholicism could go on in explaining how they would react if told to banish their Jews, but they might comply.

That leaves us with Ukraine/Russia - which were heavily antisemitic, barely giving the Jews the Pale of Settlement to stay at - and the Ottoman Empire.

So, yeah. Ashkenazi Judaism might not be a thing anymore in Lyra's world. Maybe. Also, if it'll go closer to our world, there are still the Ukrainian Revolts to worry about - the Eastern European Jewish commuinity managed to survive them, but not very easily. If you add the Jewsade and assume every other Catholic country (and Protestant ones that were force to get into the fold) expelled its Jews...

Let's just say that even a century after it ended, the Jewsade could still screw Judaism up pretty badly.

There are other options, of course. The Magisterium won't take a firm hold on the entirety of Europe in one year. A lot might be surprisingly similar to our world. However, I think it's possible to say that by Lyra's time - most of the world's Jews live either in central Asia somewhere or in America. It might be a slight exaggaration, though.

All right. So, first: if you are either Jewish, like His Dark Materials, or both, please reblog. If you aren't any of those but know someone who is - please share it with them. I want to get as many thoughts on this as possible.

In essence, I just want to ask two simple questions. I have the beginnings of answers for myself, but Judaism is nothing if not full of discourse and many opinions on one topic. So, again: reblog. Share your thoughts and opinions. Hopefully, it will give us a wide variety of possibilities and answers.

The two questions are: where are Jews in Lyra's world? And what are the theological and Halachic concequences of having dæmons?

I intend to share my opinions in two separate reblogs, but please share your thoughts even if you don't see mine. The short version is that I looked about events in Jewish history around John Calvin's time for the first question (pope John Calvin being the major alternation of history in HDM). As for the second question - I have some thoughts relating to the Chabad thought stream. Elaborations, again, going in reblogs.

Thank you in advance!

(PS, question number 1 was handled once by the sadly deactivvated user the Tea Detective, though their full post disappeared. Link to a reblogging of the first half: here. Note, another reblog mentions other religions - feel free to discuss them, I'm focusing on Judaism because I'm Jewish. Another post asking this question was posted here, so have fun with it. Meanwhile, this post is about dæmons and religions in general and lightly touches Judaism.)

[m0n373r]

BEN DROWNED MY BELOVED FANS, MY CHILDREN OR PARENTS!!! sorry that i wasnt active for a while :sob: TELL ME WHO TO DRAW NEXT >:33

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I can't explain how much it upsets me that we don't know what the intended plotline for Inej's brother was in the show, since he wasn't in the books. Like were we going to meet him in season 3? In the spin off? Is he still alive? Is she going to save him? There were so many ways it could go; what if she hunts slavers for months without find him and starts to give up hope only for an offhand mention or some kind of lead to get her to him? What if he's Grisha and gets brought in for the parem plot line? What is she finds him after so long only to have him taken away again? Or what if they one day sail and hunt slavers together? It makes me so sad that there's practically endless possibilities and we don't know what the plan was

[sleepdeprivedstoat]

you think if I ask netflix really nicely they'll give us s&b season 3? I'm out of ideas.

I'm not above begging.

I will grovel at your knees, netflix. kiss your feet.

what's it gonna take???

[tazzertopia]

phantom troupe: do they snore?

this idea for phantom troupe hcs came to me randomly at 2:00am last night so enjoy xoxo

chrollo

-probably not unexpected but not really

-he’s generally a super quiet sleeper

-the loudest he ever is in his sleep is breathing loudly on occasion

-his lack of snoring is most likely attributed by the fact he’s a very light sleeper

-he’s one of those bitches who will wake up because the whistling of the wind was slightly louder than usual

uvogin

-his ass sounds like a heavy metal concert when he sleeps

-his snores are earth-shaking. ear-splitting. pain-inducing.

-his snores single handedly contribute to noise pollution

-think of how loud your dad snores and x1000

-if the troupe members have to share a room at any point during a mission, they will throw a whole rock paper scissors tournament to see who’s taking one for the team and sacrificing their sleep (it’s usually nobunaga)

-because covering his mouth with a sock doesn’t stop the snoring, the troupe have an emergency weighted blanket on standby

-the complete opposite of chrollo, this man could sleep in an active war zone and and not budge an inch (in other words you cannot wake his ass up by force to get him to stop snoring so the only option is to wait it out or sleep somewhere else)

pakunoda

-the most silent sleeper ever

-not even a peep from miss pakunoda

-the ideal person to share a bed with. she doesn’t snore, her breathing is inaudible and she’s extremely still

-almost unnerving in a way bc she looks dead when she sleeps

-if you were to share a bed with her you’d probably spend most of the night checking her pulse to ensure she is actually alive and breathing

phinks

-he’s one of those people who when he snores the buildup is super loud but he exhales quietly (i hope that makes sense)

-ljke the buildup is super dragged out like hhhHhhhhhhUUUHHHUUUH but the exhale is just hoooooooo !!

-idk how to express snoring via text so you may have to act it out to know what i mean

-honestly this type of snoring is arguably worse than uvogin’s bc at least his is consistent whereas phinks will give you hope that he’s finally stopped snoring until it starts up again ☹️☹️😢

-he will forever deny he snores tho

feitan

-comedic ass snore

-probably snores like mimimimimimimimi zzzzzzzzz 😴💤😴💤😴💤

-he sleeps like he should be wearing a night cap and a long night gown with a candle on his bedside table

-trying not to piss yourself laughing while he’s snoring if you’re still awake is an olympic level sport

-one time shalnark recorded him while he was snoring and showed it to him (when he was down with him, he ensured the recording was eradicated from his phone)

-ik realistically he would probably be a silent sleeper but the idea of him sounding like a whole cartoon character is actually hilarious to me

shalnark

-sleep? WHAT’S THAT? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 (get it because he’s the tech whiz so he probably stays up all night gaming lololololol XDD)

-probably a loud ass mouth breather

-like he sounds like a broken ventilator sometimes

-he sounds like he ran a lap around mt everest before bed why is he so loud

-if you pissed him off during the day he would probably amp up the volume on his breathing to prevent you from sleeping well (now we’re both mad xx)

shizuku

-for the most part very quiet

-occasionally she will jumpscare you awake by randomly snoring out of no where

-like you’ll wake up to this loud ass noise only to realise it was just shizuku

-sometimes she’ll wake up aswell and accuse you of snoring

-aside from that pretty quiet- not as ideal to share a bed with as pakunoda but fine for the most part as long as you don’t mind surprises

nobunaga

-i feel like he’d have one of those super low growly snores ???????

-like those low, shaky ones

-the ones that kinda sound like grunts

-idk if i’m making sense so i pray i am 🙏

-they’re not that bad tho bc they’re quiet enough to not keep you awake and are low-key kinda relaxing

-if you’re gonna share a bed with anyone who snores, it’s nobunaga

machi

-another generally quiet sleeper except for occasionally sighing in her sleep

-from time to time she’ll just go like huhhhhhhhh :// and then will go back to being quiet again

-don’t bring it up the next day tho bc she WILL deny it and seem embarrassed

-you can tell when she’s having a nice dream based on how often she sighs

franklin

-surprisingly quiet

-you wouldn’t expect his oversized enormous ass to be quiet but he is

-similar to chrollo, the most you’re getting out of him is some occasionally loud breathing

-aside from that he’s a quiet sleeper

bonolenov

-i feel like bc of the holes in his body he’d probably make a whistling sound in his sleep

-like a pan flute

-not the worst tho bc like nobunaga it’s low high key relaxing

-free asmr what could be better xxx

kortopi

-quiet as hell

-are we really surprised

-sorry to the two kortopi fans out there but i can’t be bothered to think of anything to add on he’s just quiet

another tazzertopia classic 💯💯💯💯 if you like these hc posts pls give me requests (idk if the ask box is visible on my profile but do it through here or via the comments) bc these are super fun, i can also do other characters too !!! if i do more i might start doing them for other shows anyways bye xoxoxoxoxoxoxox