#pretty good!! not my new fave book by any means but it kept me engaged all the way through. quite entertaining. interesting commentary

[kikuism]

finished the will of the many !

[elusivemellifluence]

Read 2019

Over the course of last year, I read 165 books / 55,654 pages

Under the cut you will find an assortment of graphs analysing the shit out of my reading patterns. I am my own science experiment and statistics are fun.

The Books

I read more ebooks than anything else, but it wasn't such an overwhelming majority as it has been for the past few years. This is because I decided it was silly to have all these physical books and never actually get around to reading them because I'm reading on my phone instead, so for most of the year I had two books going at once, one physical and one electronic. Also, audiobooks have become a significant category for the first time, probably because I became aware of the collection offered by my library.

The shortest book I read was Rupert Wong, Cannibal Chef by Cassandra Khaw at 97 pages, and the longest was The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon at 848 pages. Average length was 337 pages.

The oldest book I read was Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, published 1847, and the newest was Peter Cratchit's Christmas Carol by Drew Marvin Frayne, published November 18 2019. As you can see, books from the 2010s left every other decade in the dust. Like last year, I feel kind of weird about that - a bit guilty like "I'm not appreciating the Great Literature of the Past enough and focusing too much on what is new and shiny", but also like that's nothing to feel guilty about, like "Ooh, the ~Great Literature of the Past~, you mean a bunch of dead old white guys? Fuck that, new books are awesome and living authors appreciate engagement more than dead ones do".

This is the first time I've kept record of where the books I read came from. 62% were my own, 38% were borrowed from the library, and one was borrowed from a friend.

I really liked most of the books I read, and 30 of them blew my mind. Both the two star books were for my book club, not something I chose for myself. My average rating was 3.93.

The vast majority of the books I read were new to me, not rereads. I knocked a lot off my to-read list, but I think I'd like to do some more rereading next year. I miss my old faves.

My favourite genres, in order, were fantasy by a long shot, then science fiction, historical fiction, nonfiction, contemporary and magic realism.

The Authors

Most of the authors I read were women, which is good. A few of those women were trans, and a similar number of male authors were trans men. Plus a handful of nonbinary authors and one two-spirit person. This is the first year I've recorded gender in more detail than m/f/nb, and it makes me want to read more trans authors going forward.

As always, I read more authors from the USA than anywhere else, including the country I actually live in. Though the majority is not quite so overwhelming as in previous years. I'm thinking of doing a month of just Australian authors next year (I shall call it Aussie Aussie August (Oy Oy Oy)), so maybe in 2020 the American domination will be still less absolute.

For several years now, I've been making a deiberate effort to read more books by authors of colour than by white authors. This year I acheived a nice 2:1 ratio. I feel like it's a pretty good ratio, I'll keep it going next year.

The Protagonists

For these statistics, I disregarded books that don't have a protagonist (e.g. some nonfiction) or have too many to count (e.g. anthologies).

Like with the authors, without really trying I ended up with mostly femae protagonists, a few of whom were trans, as well as a few trans men, nonbinary people and one two-spirit person. Like I said about the authors, I like this but would also like to include more trans people in future.

More of the protagonists were people of colour than not. There was one where this wasn't clear (Red from This Is How You Lose the Time War - race doesn't appear to be a significant category in the far off futures she and Blue come from, plus they both shapeshift and don't mention any physical details about themselves or each other unless they're, like, temporarily a wolf or something) and a couple where the only answer I could give when I asked if they were a person of colour was "???lmao" (one was a cat, and another was an orc).

Two years ago, confirmed straight protagonists were in the minority. Now, they make up more than half, though it's close. Maybe next year the straight characters can be overtaken by the queer or unspecified ones again. I had two months where I challenged myself to read only books with queer protagonist (I called them The Merry Month of Gay and No Het November), I'll do the same next year.

So What's Next?

I've been thinking about that quote from Raymond Chandler, "The flood of print has turned reading into a process of gulping rather than savoring", and I think that's sort of been the case for me lately. I've always read fast and a lot, and I do love smashing my goodreads challenge every year, but I've noticed myself being like "can't read that now, it'd take too long and I'd fall behind schedule" or "gotta finish two more by the end of the week so I'll have a nice round number for the month" and it sucks some of the fun out of it. So this year instead of challenging myself to read 150 or more, I'm going to try to slow down, savour more, read long books without trying to rush through them. I was talking to my friend about this, and said "Maybe I won't do the goodreads challenge at all, or make my challenge really easy so I'll always be ahead of schedule instead of scrambling to meet it, a low number like -" and then I stopped because I realised I was about to say "sixty or seventy", and I have just enough self-awareness to see how saying that out loud to a normal, non-hyperlexic person could make them want to punch me in the face.

So, yeah. More savouring. More rereads. My usual goal of two authors of colour per white author. Focus on queer books in May and November as per tradition, and I'm considering doing a focus on female authors in February and a focus on Australian authors in August. Unless it turns out I don't like any of those monthlong challenges, then screw it, because I'm chilling out and savouring. And I made myself a little box full of folded up bits of paper with suggestions like "A recent release", "A library book", "A book you've had for more than five years" and various other prompts to help me decide if I don't know what I feel like reading next.

[essaysbyciara]

Thy Neighbor  (Chapter 12)

[Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3][Chapter 4][Chapter 5 + 6][Chapter 7 + 8][Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] 

So, sowwyyyyyy. I said Wednesday. My bad, faves. Technically I wasn’t supposed to be on Tumblr -- because of Lent -- but the death of Nipsey Hussle (rest in power, King) had me on all the socials this past week which made me fall off a bit. But anyway ... just one chapter today, it’s pretty long. 

Warnings: There’s a boatload of cursing in this chapter. Within reason. You’ll see lol

As always, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for the likes, reads, comments, messages and follows. And if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know. 

Oh ... there’s only five chapters left! 

You should do it. It wasn’t like you were waiting for the right person. You were waiting for the right time. Trevante would be worth it. He does look like he knows what he’s doing. You weren’t saving yourself or anything like that, you know that. Trevante likes you. You Googled the price of that bottle. $300. That could pay for your books, shit. Yep, you’re going to do it. Him. You’re going to do him.

Trevante monopolizes the squat rack every time he’s in the gym. No one dare came close when Trevante would level up, every ninety-pound plate clinking in unison. Seeing him would put the fear in most. He loved his imposing size, staring at himself in the mirror every time that he could. The scrawny kid from high school was no more, that kid afraid of his father was gone. The bigger he grew, he felt like he was able to fight back from all the pain he witnessed as a kid. Or appear as if he could fight back. The fear from others left him pretty lonely.  But he had his weights. They were friends enough.

“You’re not going to say bye to me?” Veronica, the gym manager, yells from behind the desk at the gym. She always made it a point to show off their situation in front of others, hoping to make her co-workers jealous for bagging their finest client. She knew she was just a plaything for Trevante and did not care to be anything else. The status of being with him was enough to keep her holding on.

Trevante wanted to ignore her. He needed to get home, his dinner date with Ciara was soon to come. A dinner date he didn’t want to do. He felt a way about Ciara’s seemingly dismissal of his gift. He wanted Ciara to run into his arms and tell him ‘thank you’ a thousand times to his face. It was a $300 bottle, for goodness sakes. He then wanted her to say that she didn’t deserve it and then he tell her that she did and that he had another gift for her if she wanted it. And she’d say ‘yes’. And he wouldn’t give a damn about keeping the noise down.

But she turned him down when everything in the air and universe said that it was the best time for them to do what they both wanted to do. He still couldn’t get over the fact that she chose to not have sex with him. It felt challenging. In all other circumstances it would have happened already. Ciara isn’t like all circumstances.

So he thought dinner would give him an opportunity to wax all of her fears away. And to show her that he’s more than just her neighbor who sexes everything moving. He could actually act interested and engaged. Their friendship would be the start of something … and enough to make her relent.

Trevante reluctantly pulls the earbuds out of his ears. “Yo, hey, sorry. What was that?”

“You forgot to say bye to me.” Veronica says, biting her lip to punctuate her thoughts.

“Oh, my bad.”

“It’s okay, Tre. I, uh, am about to get off from work. You want to hang out?”

Common sense is telling Tre to tell her ‘no’. But Trevante’s penis always won over common sense. And if he wasn’t going to get any from Ciara, he’s going to score some, someway.

“I don’t have that much time tonight but yeah. Text me when you’re out front.”

Veronica gleefully grabs her things, turning to look at her coworkers whose faces were covered with bewilderment. Nothing new.

Hey! Are you back yet?

We can do Chinese if you want to…

You fell asleep, didn’t you lol.

This is stupid. I’m knocking on your door lol

7:30 turned into 8:00 which turned into 8:30. With every 30 minutes, Ciara grew slightly more annoyed. He knew he didn’t forget, she thought. He must’ve tired himself out so much at the gym that he fell asleep. So tired he’d sleep through the jazz music she could hear blasting from inside of his apartment.

He wasn’t asleep.

He was deep into Veronica, ignoring the buzzing of his phone, in complete disregard of the time. His Sarah Vaughan vinyl blasting from his speakers, only to muffle out the noise coming from his bedroom. Having sex to “Tenderly” was a new one for the both of them. After Veronica flops onto his body, he looks at his phone. At that point, it hit him. He blew Ciara off. But she was coming away as he saw her last text was sent just minutes ago. As he tried to text her back, he heard a knock on the door.

“Hey! Yo, you look exhausted.”

“Yeah. Hard session at the gym. Go ahead and order the Chinese. Give me like 20 minutes and…”

“Aight. Bet…”

Ciara’s head snaps back when she sees Veronica saunter into his living room in one of Trevante’s tee shirts. She couldn’t believe it but yet she could. “Really, dude…” she whispers through her teeth at Trevante.

“Oh, hi!” Veronica says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know someone was at the door. Hey, don’t you work out at Levels?”

“I do, yeah. You work there, right?”

“Yep, manager. Girl, you look great. You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

“Thanks. The staff there is great.  Um, yeah … I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. I just wanted to return this bottle.”

Trevante cuts a look at Ciara. While he could understand why she would be upset to find another woman in his apartment, giving back a gift seemed a bit too extreme of a response.

Ciara’s eyes pierced through Trevante with enough intensity to procure rays. In that moment, she felt played. “My friend didn’t show up for dinner so I just wanted to make sure my neighbor got it back. I won’t be needing it.”

Trevante can’t believe her. “It’s a gift, Ciara. Keep it.”

Ciara doesn’t want to believe him. “No, it’s okay. It’s not my favorite. I’d waste it.” Ciara shoves the bottle into the side of Trevante’s naked torso. “But thank you though.” Ciara lets off a coy smile and walks back into her apartment. Trevante rolls his eyes and slams the door to his.

Hey, girl. You close to Ngosi? I need a fucking drink…

“You’re a dumbass for giving back that bottle, Ciara. I’m sorry.” Mahalia cuts her eyes at Ciara. “We could be at your place drinking that rather than this cheap-ass house wine shit they got here.”

“Really, bitch?!” quips Ashley through a fit of understanding laughter from behind the bar. Ciara and Mahalia start to laugh with her. “Girl, look. You dodged one there. Trust me. Dude was in my DMs for weeks.”

“What? God, why you make Trevante such a hoe?!” Ciara throws up her hands, causing them to land on the bar in exasperated disgust. “But what am I thinking? He wasn’t trying to fuck me anyway.”

Ashley and Mahalia let off a “what?!” with wicked speed. “Here she goes with this shit. She always does this.”

Ciara always found herself back here, this place where she thought her size and sensibilities kept her from finding a man. Anytime a relationship didn’t work out, she’d always blame herself. “He didn’t like girls like me,” she reckoned, quickly forgetting that her size 16 frame would damn near stop traffic.

“No, no. You two ain’t doing this to me. You and I both saw all them chicks coming to his apartment, Mahalia. I wasn’t them. That had to be the reason.”

“No, no, nope. Not tonight, Ciara.” Mahalia says. “I bet he couldn’t wait to bend you over.”

Mahalia was right. He couldn’t.

“All those swole-ass gym dudes want a taste of what you have, trust.”

“Wild thing is, Mahalia … I told myself that if he’d asked me tonight to do it, I’d be in. I was game.”

At that point, Mahalia had enough.

“Girl, I will never understand why you turn down as much dick as you do.” Mahalia says, the so-called cheap house wine catching up to her. “But I know you. And your story. And you ain’t about wasting your goodness on a dude who ain’t worth it, which I can’t lie... I respect it. You better be happy you ain’t waste an orgasm on that dude. Doubt he’d give you one of those though. Looks like he comes quick. Quick dick ni--a.”

Ciara, Ashley and Mahalia’s laughs cascade throughout all of Ngosi, causing other patrons to look at them with gleeful curiosity. Ciara desperately needed that joy and her girlfriends to reaffirm her in a moment after feeling dismissed.

As Ashley makes her rounds for last call, Trevante’s friend, Yahya, walks in Ngosi. His 6’4 chocolate frame was hard to miss, causing Ciara to ferociously tap Mahalia on her right arm to signal his welcomed arrival. And in that moment, in that very tipsy mind of Ciara, she felt the need to be petty -- and revengeful.

“Ain’t that Trevante’s boy?”

Mahalia senses a recipe for disaster.

“Nah, Ciara. Don’t.”

taglist:  @blackpinup22 @voyagetoadinas9

bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WAukgZlZCs; Sarah Vaughan - Tenderly

[gffa]

I know you love the sequels (you've said it before) but since you dont talk about it nearly as much as you do the prequles, do you mind me asking generally what you think about the sequels? Like, what you think of the characters and the ships, whether you ship anything or maybe everything, etc. Love to hear your (positive as always ofc youre great) thoughts on it and your love for sw! ❤

Hi!  Thank you for such a sweet message!  I’m definitely into some parts of Star Wars more than others, but I don’t think there’s any era that I’ve outright hated, even if I’ve had my troubles with them.I’m middling-to-frequently-pleased about the sequels!  They’re not really ever going to be the Star Wars of my heart, but I like them well enough!  Generally, I find that I like them more and more once the extended canon (novels, games, comics, etc.) starts coming out, even while the movies themselves are fairly low on my list of “favorite SW stuff”.  I do have a lot of issues with the writing not being that well-thought out at times (if we’re meant to see Holdo as a good leader, she should have realized the mutiny that was stirring under her watch, the lack of explanation about what the FO was in TFA, etc.), but my overall feelings towards the sequels are positive!For me, it comes down to:  I have spent a lot of time talking about TFA and TLJ, I’ve written a lot of meta, I’ve consumed a lot of the surrounding media, I’ve had a lot of thoughts and feelings about it!  But I don’t feel the urge to rewatch/reread much of it.  I wrote probably 15k worth of meta about TLJ overall, but I feel no urge to go pick the movie up again and see it another time, despite how thoroughly I combed through it, the novelizations, and the comic adaptations of it.  I don’t feel a driving need to seek out more understanding about the finer details of how things work, because I don’t feel that there necessarily is enough of that thought being put into it yet.In contrast, I am ALWAYS ready to go rewatch the PT and OT movies and TCW. I’m always picking up new things in the movies/tv shows themselves or just having more feelings about them!  Part of this is that those characters are my jam, but part of it is also that I think George’s overall story creation was more engaging for me, it kept me coming back to re-comb the stuff he was directly involved with, instead of always needing new material to keep my interest.This isn’t to say that I don’t love the sequels, because I very much do!  These characters are wonderful, getting to see any kind of progression (even if it’s not enough yet, I will still celebrate the steps forward we’re taking) is so meaningful to me, and I very much like a lot of the surrounding novels and games and the world they’re building.  It’s just not quite as solid-feeling to me as George’s was–though, I like to think that will change with time.  Already, TFA was made a ton better for me through the extended canon explaining what the First Order was.  Now, if we had any idea how the rest of the galaxy was dealing with the First Order (are they still outsiders coming in to take over? have they already done that? like, I don’t really get the relationship they have to the rest of the galaxy), I’d be more onboard!  If there was a stronger sense of the movies being connected to the established GFFA (see: my rant on the lack of pretty much any recognizable aliens in TLJ the movie), I’d probably feel less like they were disconnected.I definitely feel the crunch of how they can’t really do much with backstories and the spaces around the ST movies, because they’re presumably waiting for IX to finish so they don’t contradict anything.  Once we can actually know the arc of the characters’ lives (like what happened after Ben killed the Jedi apprentices and burned down the Temple? just how much was Snoke an influence in his life/when did that start? what’s Finn’s origin story or his point of view on escaping the FO? etc.) I’ll probably come around more!Rey is my favorite (I AM SUCH A JEDI NERD ♥), I want sooooo much of her interacting with pretty much EVERYONE, but especially her Jedi lineage!!  I also dearly love Finn and Rose as well, I’m hoping that they get further expanded stories once IX is out and they can really do more with their pasts and their futures, too!  I like Kylo well enough, I especially like his relationships with Luke and Leia (my faves from the OT!), and I once upon a time shipped Kylux and probably still vaguely do.  (I like my snarling villain ships sometimes. XD)  I ship Finn/Rey kind of a lot, but in a way that I’m content with whatever happens in canon happens.  I could be convinced to ship Rey/Rose and Leia/Holdo if someone did the heavy lifting for me in fic!  I’m fine with all the other ships, I hope people are having a good time with them, but they haven’t sparked an intense interest in me yet personally.After that, I’m probably most interested in the Rebels crew, I really came to care about them!  I ship Kanan/Hera as a diehard OTP but I’m content to be casual about it, Zeb/Kallus is one I get a hankering for every so often and deeply love, I’m super into Sabine/Ketsu but they’re such a quiet ship.  Ultimately, though, my heart is with Kanan’s path to finding his way back to the Jedi path and Ezra coming into his own and the difficult choices he faced and the found family aspect.I really loved Rogue One (I shipped Baze/Chirrut and Cassian/Jyn) but without deeper history on the characters (TELL ME ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GUARDIAN OF THE WHILLS, LUCASFILM???) or a stronger connection to the rest of the GFFA, I’m content to just remember how much I enjoyed it from afar.I loved Solo, it’s a movie that I don’t have a lot of deep investment in (maybe that will change with the novelization? those often do a lot for me) but I absolutely could watch it again!  I definitely shipped Han/Qi’ra for what it was, but they weren’t meant to be.  I like Han/Lando as a banter-filled ship along the way!  But Han/Leia is still an unbreakable ship for me.  I REALLY loved the new characters (Qi’ra and Enfys Nest especially) and all the tie-ins to the rest of the GFFA, oh MAN I want to know about Lando on Felucia or whatever happened with Beckett and Aurra Sing!  But I’m fairly low-key about that desire for more.TL;DR:  I don’t feel like the sequels have done as much to establish themselves and a fair chunk of what they did do felt like throwing the OT characters under the bus to promote their new characters (I have come around to how Star Wars is cyclical in nature, so the rise of the FO is part of the storytelling structure of SW, as well as Luke’s characterization in TLJ is built A LOT on the parts of the OT that we tend to forget about, like his impatience and anger, but there’s still a lingering bitter taste about how hard the OT worked for their happy ending and the only got to enjoy it for, what? 20 years? how I never got to see Mark Hamill as my Badass And Centered Jedi Master for more than just a couple of minutes) so they have an uphill battle with me, but that doesn’t meant they’re not doing it and that I will grow more invested as more and more connective tissue is put out in novels and comics and games.  There are many things I love about them, I’m glad to see fans who are so passionate about the things they love with them, a lot of the books and comics and games have been great, and I love the characters themselves!

[theartificialdane]

Blue ain’t your color - Part 6

Dedicated to @talkaboutartassholes @imanationalphenomenon and the Vitan playlist <3

In which a date is arranged.

“You don’t seem fine.” Sutan gently rubbed his thumb back and forth, trying to make Violet relax, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what was different from the last time they had done this.

Sutan: Hey, are you awake?

Violet: Yes, why?

Sutan smiled and leaned back into his chair. It was a little after eleven, and Sutan was pretty sure he was the only person left in the office, not that he minded. His days often going by in a blur of everyone and their mother needing something, so it was nice to have the place to himself, giving him time to think, even though his thoughts wandered to a certain black haired woman.

Sutan: Dinner at Annisa tomorrow?

Violet: Can’t. Busy.

Sutan wrinkled his brow. Busy? It had been two days since Violet had practically snuck out at the crack of dawn, and even though they had texted, they haven't actually seen each other. Sutan stood up, getting a cigarette from his drawer before he opened the window, leaning out of it as he returned to his phone.

Sutan: Come on lovely eyes, I miss you. I haven’t seen you in two days. How hard is Fame riding you over there if you can’t go out?

Violet: I think the question is how you’re not busy, Fashion Week is in 18 days?

Sutan smiled. Fashion week was indeed in 18 days, as if anyone would let him forget it. Fame had uprooted the entire friend group, her hysteria about her autumn collection threatening to consume everyone until Bianca had told her to shut up, sit down, and eat her spaghetti.

Sutan: All sensible brands have already booked their models, even though I got a very interesting text from Raja yesterday ;) What department do you work in?

Sutan glanced over at his desk, the reason he was late laying in the stacks and stacks and stacks of portfolios he was pulling together for his darling sister.

Violet: Wouldn’t you like to know Mister?

Sutan: I’d love to know, thank you for asking.

Violet: Well keep guessing, because I’m not telling you.

Sutan laughed, Violet still holding out on him, the girl demanding to stay a mystery, but Sutan didn’t mind playing the long game. He stubbed his cigarette and closed the window, going back to his desk.

Sutan: Come over baby, please.

Violet: …. Fine.

***

“Okay so everyone listen up.” Sutan looked at his girls, Celia, Fo, Naima, Jaslene, Alison and Raven all sitting in a conference room at Elite, Sutan on the edge of the table, his glasses on, a huge stack of files in his hands. “That includes you Raven, don’t make me take your phone.”

Raven sighed but put her phone into her bag. Ever since she and Raja had gotten engaged, Raven had been glued to her phone, flashing her diamond all over the web.

“Thank you.” Sutan smiled, only just catching Raven rolling her eyes. Raven had a tendency to always toe the line, always push that little bit further, a habit she somehow still had even after years of working with him, but it was also that dissatisfaction and that fire that made her work as hard as she did, and kept his sister on her toes. “Now that I have your attention, I have the first batch of assignments and fittings for New York.”

The girls cheered, all of them excited. Sutan stood up, walking around the table as he gave every girl a file, Jaslene smiling brightly when she saw that he had booked her for Marc Jacobs, while Celia groaned as she realised that she had once again been handpicked for Adam Lipper. Sutan

“Now, does anyone have any questions?”

***

“Joseph? Your assistant said you’d be here.”

“Hi, I’m in here!”

Sutan smiled as he walked through the studio of fashion designer Joseph Altuzarra, the New York space one of his favorite to visit, the studio a perfect representation of the parisians sophistication Joseph mixed with american sexy. “I got you the measurements.” Sutan turned the corner, finding the designer and his team working on the shoe selection for the upcoming show. “and a caramel macchiato.”

“You got me coffee?”

“Of course, you’re my favorite Joseph.” Sutan smiled and handed the cup over, Joseph taking it with a grateful expression, along with the updated portfolio and measurements of Allison, one of Joseph’s favorite models to use.

“You know you could have emailed these, right?”

“I could.” Sutan sat down, taking a sip of his own coffee. “But if I had, who would show me your collection before it hits the runway?” Sutan glanced at his watch, Joseph clearly falling for his flattery. He still had a couple of hours before he had to meet up with Violet, so he leaned back, Joseph already rolling the first rack out, Sutan instantly eyeing a silver dress he knew Allison would look beautiful in.

***

“You’re late.”

It was the first words out of his mouth as he opened the door. He hadn’t meant to say it, at least not like that, but as he saw Violet stand there, it was the only thing he could think of, the woman almost two hours late.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” Violet was talking so fast Sutan could barely separate the words, not even looking at him as she apologized. “things just got so busy at work and then I couldn’t find a-” Sutan reached forward, grabbing the front of her dress and pulling her to him, kissing her until he felt her relax.

“You’re okay, I’m okay and we’re okay.” Sutan smiled, gently running a hand down Violet’s back. “Just call me next time, okay?”

Violet nodded, completely dazed as Sutan pulled her into his apartment and closed the door behind them.

“I… Umh… I brought dessert. Since I didn’t make it in time for dinner.” Violet smiled, a little shy as she held up the dessert box, which was clearly meant as an apology. It looked delicious, but Sutan wasn’t ready to let her entirely off the hook. He helped her out of her clothes, smiling at the amount of bags she had brought with her. Some of them made sense, like her handbag and the duffle he knew had her gym clothes, but what he didn’t get was the extra tote and the overnight bag as well. He still didn’t know exactly what Violet’s job was, but as he carried the bag his suspicion that she was from the fashion department grew bigger and bigger.

“It’s work stuff.”

Sutan laughed, totally caught in his act of trying to evaluate what was in the bag. “So it’s not your portal sex shop?”

“You asshole.” Violet smiled, and Sutan relaxed, the tension from earlier gone.  “Do you want the cake or not? It’s a chocolate and hazelnut Louvre from Payard Patisserie, I even got us forks.”

“Of course I want it.” Chocolate was one of his faves, but as he stepped forwards Violet, smiling at the fact that she was no longer wearing her heels, the woman the perfect height now to overpower. “But there’s something I’d much rather have for dessert.” Sutan took Violet’s cheek in his hand, gently caressing her with his thumb as he tipped her head upwards, placing a tender kiss on her lips and Violet melted against his chest, letting him take her weight completely.

Violet  gently broke their kiss, her voice only a whisper as she played with the buttons of Sutan’s shirt.

“What do you want for dessert then?”

“You, I want you, Princess.”

Violet looked up, meeting Sutan’s eyes, her voice so low he had to strain to hear her.

“Take me then, make me yours.”

Sutan smiled and picked Violet up as if she weighed nothing, making her squeal in delight, her legs around his hips as he carried her into his bedroom, cake completely forgotten.

***

Sutan’s bedroom was just as Violet remembered it; he kept it in a modern style with green and dark brown accents. As Sutan sat Violet down she saw something, a smile growing on her face. “Are those candles? Did you light candles for me?”

“If you had been here on time, there would’ve also been music.”

“Really?” Violet looked around, feeling a little bad until she got an idea. “Sit down.”

“What?”

“Sit down!” Violet smiled as she pushed Sutan down on the bed, quickly identifying his ipod, laughing to herself when she found one of the songs she knew. The tones of “Any Time, Any Place” started playing before Sutan realised what Violet was doing, which made him laugh in surprise, delight on his face as Violet walked out to the middle of the bedroom floor, her hips slowly swinging to the beat of the song.

Violet slowly pulled her work jacket off, revealing her arms one by one before she threw the jacket into the corner of the bedroom, raising her arms above her head as she danced for a while. She could feel Sutan’s eyes burning into the small of her back at how he was watching her ass. Violet undid her hair, shaking her head a little as the long black locks fell down ber back.

Even though it was late August it was still hot enough outside for Violet not to be wearing much, so she took her time, taking off her skirt, her hands slowly and sensually exploring her body, before she turned around, a smile on her face when she saw Sutan’s expression. She knew she was good at stripping, knew it with a certainty not many possessed, but right now, right here, performing for just one man made her feel sexier than anything else she had ever done. Violet grabbed her top, teasingly almost pulling it off before she put it on again, keeping eye contact with Sutan while she finally, finally removed her blouse, the song ending as Sutan reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her down onto the bed with him, their lips crashing together while the next number started.

***

“Fuck… How are you real!?” Sutan pulled back, his pupils completely blown before he dived down again, kissing Violet like a man desperate for air, Violet’s hands working on the buttons on his shirt, their hips grinding together to the same rhythm, Violet’s heel digging into the small of Sutan’s back.

“Please.” Violet gasped; she was aching, her panties completely soaked through, the warmth of Sutan against her only making it worse. “Please…”

***

“What do you want, baby?” Sutan smiled, moving his hips, letting himself rut against Violet, his trousers rubbing on the crotch of her soaked panties. She was so warm and delicious, so ready for his touch as she whimpered and tried to twist, working her body to get friction where she needed it most. “Do you want me to fuck you?” Sutan leaned down, kissing Violet’s neck, his body covering hers. “Take you good like I did the last time?” Violet nodded, closing her eyes, a small ‘please’ leaving her lips and Sutan smiled. Violet was a joy in bed, so utterly responsive to his touch, a little shy, but that wasn’t anything he wasn’t ready to peel from her, petal by petal until there was nothing left but raw and naked desire. “Want me to fuck your pretty pussy? Want me to fill you?”

“Yes.” Violet reached up, her nails digging into Sutan’s forearm, the sharp points hurting slightly, but he didn’t mind, not when it made him feel like a king to have Violet cling to him. “Please, yes.”

Sutan hummed and pulled back, Violet instantly getting his clue, her eyes opening and Violet reached behind herself, arching her back and unhooking her bra. She was gorgeous, and Sutan couldn’t help but make a show of getting undressed too, taking off his shirt, their eyes locked together as his hands went to his belt, Violet starring, her fingers forgotten in the wristband of her panties.

“Fuck…”

Sutan realised he had stopped, his belt open and his fly down, but with Violet looking at him like that, her skin glowing in the candle light, he had no choice but to change the plan. He had to taste her, had to eat what was so clearly offered to him. Sutan grabbed her hands, moving them away and started kissing his way down Violet’s chest, skipping past her breasts, his lips dancing over her stomach until he could grab the edge of her panties with his teeth, a smile on his lips as Violet gasped. She wasn’t the only one who had a surprise up her sleeve, and he would gladly show her all his tricks, after all, if you wanted to keep a lady in your bed, you made her come hard, and you made her come often. Sutan pulled her panties down, the scent of her filling his nose as he kissed his way up her her, his hands quickly discarding the silk material, when he noticed that Violet had gone completely quiet.

Sutan looked up at her, his lips connected to the inside of her thigh, and he realised something was very, very wrong. Violet was still, her eyes scrunched together, her lips sealed shut. “... Baby?” Sutan ran his hand over Violet’s stomach, all of her muscles tight, trying to catch her attention. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine, keep going.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Sutan gently rubbed his thumb back and forth, trying to make Violet relax, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what was different from the last time they had done this. Violet had seemed so enthusiastic. Was it the candles? No, that was stupi-

“Just do it!”

Sutan’s thought were interrupted as Violet snapped at him, and he dropped her leg before he even realised when he had done, moving away from her completely.

“Hey, hey.” Sutan moved up the bed, laying down next to Violet, propped up on his elbow so he could see her, her eyes wide and almost a little frightened. He reached out, taking a chance as his hand landed on her stomach once again. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to with me…” Sutan watched her, shame and discomfort clear on her face, and he hated it.

“I’m sorry.” Violet smiled, a small, apologetic smile, as if she had done something wrong. “I just don’t…” Violet gestured vaguely towards her legs, “I don’t like it very much.”

Sutan let out a breath of relief. He leaned down, gently and carefully kissing Violet’s lips, her body fully relaxing as they were back in territory she was comfortable with. Sutan had realised pretty early on that few things turned him on more than a woman who was happy about being with him, the fact that both him and Raja had been ugly all through high school only making it that much more of a joy when they got scouted to model in LA and he started to get attention. Sutan loved showering a woman in gifts and attention, but nothing had ever made his stomach turn more than when he realised that a girl in college had slept with him, only because she wanted him to take her to his agency. It was the reason he never slept with models, the idea of it too close to comfort, and Sutan liked his image, treasured it and treasured his girls trust. He broke the kiss with Violet, looking at her face.

“Don’t ever apologize.”

“But I ruined the mood..” Violet bit her lip, her pearly white teeth sinking into her plush bottom lip, and Sutan felt his cock twitch.

“You haven’t ruined anything lovely eyes.”

Sutan moved his hand lower, smiling happily as Violet gasped her cunt still hot and wet. He rubbed the pad of his index finger over her, spreading her wetness, playing with her. “Nothing is ruined, lovely eyes, nothing at all.” Violet’s hand was so thin and dainty, her fingers barely the size of his pinky, and he knew his own hand had to feel so much better. Sutan dipping his fingers into her. Violet moaned, and Sutan smiled. Oh he would have so much fun teasing her, taunting her and working her right back to the edge where she would have no choice but to beg, Violet so beautiful when she begged, but then, she surprised him, Violet grabbing his wrist.

“Not like that.” Violet eyes where closed, her fingers covering Sutans as she moved, showing him what to do, her cheeks pink, her brow furrowed in concentration, her pointer finger moving back and forth, Sutan following her lead as she showed him exactly how she liked to be touched. She was gorgeous, and when she finally, finally, finally released him, Sutan went in with all he had, using his hand on Violet until he was cramping, tears running down Violet’s face from yet another orgasm.

[epochxp]

Skirmish Wargaming – The Low Down!

Wargaming In the Sun 

When most people think of wargaming, they think of elaborate tables, massive armies, and a spectacle that would make Cecile B. DeMille weep with joy. But that’s not the only way to go with wargaming. You can have just as much fun with a small table, half-a-dozen figures per side, and the rules to fit.

I’m talking about skirmish wargaming.

Skirmish wargaming is going through a renaissance of late for a variety of reasons, amongst them being the low-cost entry point (most “armies” are at most, about a dozen figures to start), and a well-run skirmish game usually can be run on a board of 3’x 3’, or about half the size of a usual 4’ x 6’ board found in most wargames. This means most skirmish wargames are smaller, with the troops already in contact, and the action gets bloody fast, which makes for a fast game. Skirmish wargames usually do the fights TV shows and movies are made of, with small patrols bumping into each other, or skirmish lines duking it out ahead of the main van of troops. These encounters are often glossed over in larger scale wargames, but considering the human drama one finds in these encounters, a wargamer can have a lot of fun with this. 

Most of these rules are written around 28mm miniatures, but you don’t have to go in that direction. I’ve seen great skirmish games run with everything from 6mm to 54mm. Heck, once I played in a game with GI Joe and Cobra action figures, I don’t remember the rules we used, but yes, Virginia, it was a very bloody Saturday morning.

What I like the most about skirmish wargaming is that you create personas for your army, and run them through campaigns, and watch them improve or die on the battlefield. You’re personally invested in your army in ways you might not be with larger-scale games. 

I’ve decided to do a sampling of some rules, some of mainstream interest, some not, to show the depth and breadth of skirmish games out there. If I left your fave out, I apologize in advance, but there are simply so many out there these days. 

While most of the attention has been on Osprey Games fantasy and sci-fi efforts, which we won’t discuss here, there’s a lot of historical skirmish games out there for you to try your hand at and that I’ve played and would recommend.

Sharp Practice

Too Fat Lardies 

Sharp Practice is one of those games I own on PDF but don’t play as often as I’d like. It’s meant for larger skirmishes (30-40 figures per side) for an era stretching from 1700 to 1865. It’s an era with the potential for plenty of history on both sides of the Atlantic, the American Civil War, the Seven Years War, the American Revolution, and of course, the Wars of Napoleon. And that’s just the ones off of the top of my head.

The game, like most of Too Fat Lardies efforts, run on a card-based initiative system, and your officers are generated almost like miniature RPG characters (which can have appeal if you’re trying to do a campaign bases on a certain book series about an officer of the 95th Rifles fighting Napoleon in Spain.) But the rules are flexible. I’ve played both the Franco-Prussian War and War of the Roses with them, and the results have been spectacular. I wouldn’t choose these as my first skirmish rules for a period, but they are good rules for someone looking for a little more out of skirmish wargaming as a whole. 

Wars of Insurgency

First Command Games 

Wars of Insurgency by First Command Games is also a game that caters to the larger side of the skirmish house, with each side being about 30-40 figures, but in the game I played, I had fun running just 18 “elite” Zairian Paratroopers in a game loosely set during the Congolese Emergency. There are not a lot of games out there set during the “wars of liberation” that racked the African continent during the years of the Cold War, but this game is a hoot. Having played it at Historicon, I had a ton of fun, even if I was stuck in the middle of the board with everyone trying to kill me. I think I counted it as a moral victory I got 3 of my paratroopers out of the original 18 out. The game’s mechanics are simple, and the weapons stats are kept generic, which does make play fast and bloody. If you have an interest in this period and you’re new to wargaming, these are the rules set for you.

Spectre Operations

Spectre Miniatures 

Spectre Operations is for those folks who really want to play out the stuff happening behind the headlines. Special Forces raids on terror compounds, firefights between SWAT and cartel gangs, heck, if you want to do your fave action movie, this game can do it. I also suspect it could run World War II games as well. The game is centered around play with no more than a dozen figures per side, which is the perfect size for a skirmish game, and like most skirmish games, has a nice “quasi RPG” feel. The game is a meaty rulebook, but the support for the rules is phenomenal, with the rules favoring troop quality over hardware. If you like modern warfare, this is a good buy. The only downside is the book is published in the UK, and shipping is kind of expensive these days. But I highly recommend it. I’ve played it solo a few times with 20mm figures and had a blast. 

Other good rules sets in this vein you can look at are:

Black Ops by Osprey Publishing

Skirmish Sangin by Radio Dishdash Publishing

While I would recommend Black Ops if you want something simpler and a bit more “James Bond with a side of SEAL Team Six.”, Skirmish Sangin is a rich and detailed set of rules that break down the things that can (and have been assured sometimes do) happen in a firefight in Afghanistan. It’s as near to the real thing as I’d ever want to get personally. That said, I’d recommend both games, having played them and had a rather good time. 

SAGA by Gripping Beast

Right now, SAGA is the Medieval Skirmish Rules around. A lot of folks swear by them, even if I must confess, I’ve never played them because it’s not my period. But I will say the rules are lavishly illustrated, and the rules are clearly laid out, which is a plus to any wargamer who’s trying to learn a new set of rules, especially someone like me. You do need to buy additional supplements to do specific periods, but the game is structured around small bands of men going out in the world and making their reputation by fire and sword, which is pretty much meat and potatoes for any skirmish gamer! Who knows, maybe one day, I’ll break down and paint up a Viking Warband and give it a try? 

Five Men in Normandy/Kursk by Nordic Weasel Games

Wargames Vault 

I like a lot of Nordic Weasel’s products. The design philosophy is good in that it focuses on getting your troops on the table quickly and playing. Five Men at Kursk is no different. While it may have a bit more chrome than its predecessor, it’s a game designed to achieve a World War II skirmish game that plays fast and plays bloody with a squad on per side. And, if you’ve played one FiveCore game, you’ll know the basic rules to this one. You don’t need big armies, and the rules at $15.99 for a PDF download, add in say $80 for two squads for both sides, and you are in the hobby for less than $100. The terrain might be an issue, but there are creative ways to overcome that, ones I might discuss in a future issue! In any event, if you want to do a World War II skirmish, these are the rules to try, in my opinion. 

Well, that’s it for this article. I hope it’s been good food for thought and give a skirmish game a try. Big games aren’t always the most memorable. 

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At Epoch Xperience, we specialize in creating compelling narratives and provide research to give your game the kind of details that engage your players and create a resonant world they want to spend time in. If you are interested in learning more about our gaming research services, you can browse Epoch Xperience’s service on our parent site, SJR Research.

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(This article is credited to Jason Weiser. Jason is a long-time wargamer with published works in the Journal of the Society of Twentieth Century Wargamers; Miniature Wargames Magazine; and Wargames, Strategy, and Soldier.)

[vamporchid]

Just for fun!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I can’t use milk...or dairy...so almond or soy, so more cereal...but I hardly ever eat cereal so yeah...

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? I’m Canadian, it’s a given lol

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Uhm, bookmarks oh and business cards LOL

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee, two sugar and cream, tea all on its own or with honey

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yup, thanks mom...I has a huge mouth lol

6: do you keep plants? Ahahahaha yeah. Sorry laughing to a friends response as I’m doing. Yes I do, all kinds and I have a garden and flower garden.

7: do you name your plants? K not that crazy...

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Uhm, I do traditional drawing, paintings, crafts, tattoo and now I’m venturing into airbrushing. Oh and I can’t forget writing.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Who doesn’t?

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? My right side. Stupid spine.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Squirrels. Ahahaha. Bucky and Squirrels.

12: what's your favorite planet? Other than earth? Pluto. It’s neglected.

13: what's something that made you smile today? My two year old son, getting excited when his sisters let him play with their stuff. He’s funny.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Farm house chic with chickens!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! In the late 1950′s, by way of something labeled Project A119 the United States decided it would be a good idea to launch a nuclear missile at the moon. Why? Evidently they felt it would give them a leg up in the Space Race. Fortunately, however, the plan was never executed.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Lasagna, but I can’t eat it no more...

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?  Fire engine red!!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.  I grab a cop by the collar once to try and drag him to my friend that was in trouble. That ladies and gentlemen is not the correct way to get an officers attention.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to, not anymore.

20: what's your favorite eye color? Green

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My black and pink school bag. I actually used to live out of in College. I refuse to get rid of it even though my husband hates it.

22: are you a morning person? No!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?  Write, read or draw!! Oh and crafts.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? @amethystflame, she’s my witness, muahahha. Squirrels.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? Mayor’s office LOL.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? None, I’m always getting new footwear.

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Uhm Bubblegum.

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset. Sunrise means I’ve been up all night, again. Ugh.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? @amethystflame, every morning we always text each other good morning lol

30: think of it: have you ever been  truly scared? Hells yes. One of my kids almost died. Scary.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. No socks in bed, but other than that I like them lol. But not in the summer.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Broke into the mayors office, that is where I’ll end that LOL

33: what's your fave pastry? Apple turnovers are underrated.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? A pink seal, Nicky. My kids use it now.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? They are pretty, I’ll use them, but it’s not like that’s all I use. I use whatever is on hand.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Green Day

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean! Major OCD!!

38: tell us about your pet peeves!  Oh there’s not enough time for this!

39: what color do you wear the most? Blue or green, black as a shade.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? Like random jewelry? Well I have a Lapus Lazuli pendant I ordered from Egypt with a clear quartz stone on it. It’s suppose to help with all kinds of things. And I love things that have to do with Egypt. So yeah.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Gail Z Martin’s The Summoner Chronicles.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Timmies, I am Canadian. That is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My husband lol.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Is never a good answer?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?  Hellz Yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.  Can’t think of any

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?  Span and Klik! Nasty!!

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?  Zombies and yes I’m still terrified.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I haven’t bought either in years.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?Knives, I guess. Because I collect a bunch of things.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Person, uhm my husband, True Love by Pink. Fictional Character, Winter Soldier, Simple man by Shinedown

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Anything Marvel or cats lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Rocky Horror picture show, beetlejuice and pulp fiction.

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My Two year old, when his dad left for work this morning.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? My ex was driving me nuts. I kept telling him if he kept claiming I was nuts, that I would start to act like a psycho. I was decorating an Xmas tree and hit him in the face with around 25 Xmas glass ball decorations. That night we got to spend the night at the hospital getting his eyes washed.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Random acts of generosity or kindness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?  I always do and I love Queen, still sends shivers down my spine when I listen to them.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?  At this very moment. Well I’m into the wine and @amethystflame is into the vodka ahahahaha.

59: what's your favorite myth? I was gonna write good men aahahahahaha. Shut up you laughed. I don’t believe in myths. They are stories that probably happened that got some pazzazz at some point.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Yup. Edgar Allen Poe. The Pit and The Pendulum.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? The dumbest gift I’ve ever given was probably to my sister, a grow a man and some stress ‘balls’ ahahaha. Received...spongebob square pants season two...I don’t watch that cartoon...

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No. But I do have a glass of hot lemon water every morning.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have OCD, everything organized lol.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black, it’s night and it’s not a clear night.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?  My old work friends, but I actually just got to go visit them this past weekend after not seeing the for 14 years. Woot.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Daffodils, sunflowers, cat tails and fall leaves!!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Uhm, gloomy lol

68: what's winter like where you live? I live in Northern Ontario Canada, cold, long and tons of snow. TONS OF SNOW.

69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly and anything that makes you think, like clue.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Why yes I have, I own one, it’s on my bookshelf.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Chai Tea!!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? Nope, not usually.

73: what are some of your worst habits?  I crack my joints, a lot.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Pink-ish hair. American, Yank. Cap obsessed ish. Naps. Squirrels. Kids. NO MARK!

75: tell us about your pets! Three cats. One is old and dying. One’s a bitch. And the last one well he’s young and huge. I think he’s part lion. Who knows.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Working out.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? BOTH!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? There are ppl that hate them? WTF?!

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My husband proposed to my twice. And I got two engagement rings out of the deal lol.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Olive green. Was like that when we bought the house. I’m ok with it, so it’ll stay for now.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Skip! LOL

82: are/were you good in school?  Yup. Like at the subjects. 90s. Was I a good kid...well my parents threaten to put me into military school lol

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Rob Zombies stuff is always great and so it Tool’s

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?  I have a forever growing list. But my next one is a comic book sleeve with all my fave characters and quotes.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Mostly marvel.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?  Concept albums? HUH?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?  Boondock saints for sure and The Crow.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I don’t think I understand this question lol.

89: are you close to your parents?  Ish I think. LOL. They’re all good and stuff. I am a lot more now then when I was younger that‘s for sure.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Uhm. Cities? I’m not a city fan. I did really like Mexico when I visited though.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? NYC @amethystflame Comiccon is happening!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I can’t eat dairy...

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Curly Mohawk.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My twin girls, big 11.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?  So far watching Marvel Movies with my friend lol

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?  Mine are on auto update.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ, Aquarius, Raven Claw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Pfff Can’t remember. Probably lol.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Full Circle by Aerosmith. Simple Man by Shine down. Had Enough and Firefly by Breaking Benjamin. And many more...

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?  Five years into the future so that I can see what I can fix before it happens lol.

Ok. @amethystflame, @chenria, @r2smuse, @mellorian-j if you want!

[wheres-the-bear]

Hello, It’s Me (100 Questions)

These were fun! If you’re new, hi. My name is Ashley, and I hope you can learn something about me :)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I usually have more milk than cereal. 2: Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Depends on how cold the air is and strong the breeze. lol 3: What random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Receipts, movie tickets, slivers of notes. 4: How do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee: cream & sugar. Tea: Agave & a little bit of cream. 5: Are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope :) 6: Do you keep plants? Yes. 7: Do you name your plants? No. 8: What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Usually writing. Sometimes drawing or painting. 9: Do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes. 10: Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I sleep on my sides. 11: What's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh my, so many! 12: What's your favorite planet? Always loved Neptune & Uranus because of their colors. Be mature. 13: What's something that made you smile today? Being an absolute loon to try to get my husband to smile. 14: If you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Oh my gosh - modern, light and airy, with lots of plants and contrasting elements. 15: Go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Most of the book The Martian is accurate. 16: What's your favorite pasta dish? A Stanley Tucci recipe with homemade sauce, tomatoes, and basil. 17: What color do you really want to dye your hair? I’ve always wanted a lighter, warmer blonde or, on the extreme end, teal. 18: Tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I tripped over a ropes course wire in 8th grade and f*cked up my knee. Ever since then, it’s been a running joke that something so simple caused such catastrophic damage. 19: Do you keep a journal? What do you write/draw/ in it? I keep a mental health BuJo, and I loveee it for keeping track of my habits and thoughts. 20: What's your favorite eye color? I really love dark, chocolate brown eyes. But I am appreciative of all eye colors. 21: Talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My plaid North Face backpack my mom got me right before college. I’ve taken it out of the country, it’s sat in libraries with me as I’ve studied and wrote. I love that thing. 22: Are you a morning person? Yes. 23: What's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Watch TV and movies, eat junk food, stay in sweatpants. Preferably staying in bed for a while. 24: Is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Of course. My husband. 25: What's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? I can’t say I’ve ever broken into anything or anywhere. 26: What are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black flats from Payless Shoes. 27: What's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Spearmint or Winter Mint from Orbit. 28: Sunrise or sunset? Sunrises inspire me more, for sure. 29: What's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Any time they laugh and can’t stop, I think it is the absolute greatest thing. 30: Think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Of course. Every near car accident or actual accident, I’ve gotten terrified. 31: What is your opinion of socks? Do you like wearing weird socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks. My husband collects socks, so I enjoy finding fun pairs for him. I’m a simple, short black sock kind of person with the occasional unique fuzzy sock on cold winter days. 32: Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing crazy. But some of my most meaningful conversations have happened in those early morning hours. 33: What's your fave pastry? I have a huge sweet tooth, so I can’t even claim a favorite. 34: Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. What is it called? What does it look like? Do you still keep it? I had a lot of stuffed animals as a kid. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what I used to call them. My favorite was a stuffed giraffe though. 35: Do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? Do you use them often? Yes and yes! In my bullet journal. 36: Which band's sound would fit your mood right now? John Mayer, Where the Light Is to be honest. 37: Do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean! But most of the time, it’s messy. 38: Tell us about your pet peeves! Loud chewers. Dripping faucets. People who are terrible drivers (no blinkers, aggressive and irresponsible, etc.). Egos.  39: What color do you wear the most? Jewel tones - emerald, royal purple. 40: Think of a piece of jewelry you own: What's it's story? Does it have any meaning to you? My wedding band and engagement ring are probably my two most prized pieces of jewelry, followed by a pair of diamond earrings my late grandmother gave me when I graduated from college. 41: What's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Kite Runner was the first one that came to mind, but that wasn’t the last book. 42: Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Rooster Moon, by my house. It’s a little hipster establishment with cute decor, indie music, and great coffee! 43: Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My husband, I believe. Probably on our honeymoon? 44: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Thankfully, I have those moments often. Last weekend, over MLK, was probably the last time. 45: Do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to, yes. 46: Tell us the worst pun you can think of. “I put my grandma on speed dial. I call that Instagram.” -_____- 47: What food do you think should be banned from the universe? Canned asparagus. 48: What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Spiders, or wet, loose hair. Both are still pretty terrifying. 49: Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought? I like buying CDs, but I don’t do it very often. The last CDs I purchased were Beyonce’s Lemonade and Chris Stapleton’s Traveler.  50: What's an odd thing you collect? Shark teeth? I don’t really collect anything anymore. 51: Think of a person. What song do you associate with them? My husband, and I think of “Kings and Queens” by 30 Seconds to Mars. 52: What are your favorite memes of the year so far? I haven’t seen many? 53: Have you ever watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Heathers? Beetlejuice? Pulp fiction? What do you think of them? I’ve only seen Beetlejuice and it was a long time ago. I remember thinking it was weird. 54: Who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My hubby - he was in an accident recently and his beloved truck was rendered totaled. 55: What's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Did my research!  56: What are some things you find endearing in people? Little actions that require observation. 57: Go listen to Bohemian Rhapsody. How did it make you feel? Did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Of course. My cousin and I used to sing a scream-o version of it, and it cracks me up thinking about it every time. 58: Who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? Why? Britney is the wine mom and I’m probably the Vodka Aunt. Or Alissa is the Vodka Aunt. 59: What's your favorite myth? Nessie the Loch Ness Monster. 60: Do you like poetry? What are some of your faves? All-time fave has always been “The Kiss” by Sarah Teasdale. 61: What's the stupidest gift you've ever given? The stupidest one you've ever received? I can’t say I’ve ever given or received a gag gift. 62: Do you drink juice in the morning? Which kind? Not usually, but if I do, it’s Apple Juice. 63: Are you fussy about your books and music? Do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I leave them be. 64: What color is the sky where you are right now? It’s a lovely dark blue. 65: Is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Anyone from college, tbh. 66: What would your ideal flower crown look like? Oh my, cafe au lait dahlias with some poppies for color! <3 67: How do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? When they’re few and far between, inspired. 68: What's winter like where you live? So far, very mild. Lots of rain. We normally have a few big snowstorms though. 69: What are your favorite board games? Apples to Apples, Phase 10, and Uno. 70: Have you ever used a ouija board? Nope. 71: What's your favorite kind of tea? Lady Grey or Earl Grey. 72: Are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? Yes, absolutely. 73: What are some of your worst habits? I crack my knuckles. It drives my boss crazy. 74: Describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. They are super caring, in tune with God, would give anything for those they’re close to. I admire them and their family so much for their resilience and strength. 75: Tell us about your pets! I have a cat. Her name is Bagheera - she is a black and brown striped tabby. And she’s a big meanie. Unfortunately /: Nice to me, not to other people. 76: Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? I should be taking a shower. 77: Pink or yellow lemonade? Classic yellow :) 78: Are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I like them. I’m not really passionate about loving or hating them. 79: What's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Definitely any surprise trip or flowers, a phone call with a serenade, a random trip to watch stars. 80: What color are your bedroom walls? Did you choose that color? If so, why? They are eggshell or ivory. I didn’t choose them -- we just haven’t painted them since we’ve moved into our house. 81: Describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. The water of Magen’s Bay in St. Thomas. 82: Are/were you good in school? I was alright, more on the “good” side, I guess.  83: What's some of your favorite album art? The Chainsmokers’ singles lately have been on. point. 84: Are you planning on getting tattoos? Which ones? I can never commit to any, so I doubt I’ll ever get one. 85: Do you read comics? What are your faves? The last time I read/bought a comic was when Captain America: Civil War came out. Before that, hardly EVER. It was all about Get Fuzzy in elementary/high school. 86: Do you like concept albums? Which ones? I don’t even know what they are, tbh. lol 87: What are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Into the Wild and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. 88: Are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Whatever movement Albert Bierstadt was a part of. 89: Are you close to your parents? To my mom, yes. 90: Talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love London. I love how it feels, the energy, the history, the elegance and architecture, the tradition. I love it. 91: Where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere special. Maybe the Outer Banks for a long weekend?  92: Are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles. I like the sauce better :) 93: What's the hairstyle you wear the most? Either air-dry or up in a pony tail. 94: Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My uncle, whose birthday was Feb. 19. But my stepdad’s is on March 3 and my mom’s is on March 9. 95: What are your plans for this weekend? Sleep, church, movies. Pizza. lol 96: Do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I usually procrastinate. Lame. 97: Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Myer Briggs is INFJ/ENFJ. Zodiac: Cancer. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw. 98: When's the last time you went hiking? Did you enjoy it? Oh my. It’s been a while, but yes. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 99: List some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. “Wonderland” by Taylor Swift. “Halocene” by Bon Iver. “Blinding” by Jakwob. “Feel So Close” by Calvin Harris. 100: If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Why? Definitely 5 years into the past because I would have done things so much differently as a teacher. I would have been more open to ALL of my students and taken advantage of the time I had to get to know as many of them as possible instead of just a small few. The future should be unknown - I’m excited about that.