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wambsgansshoelaces · 10 months

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Something Sweet; Chapter 4

Kendall Roy x Reader

Read the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, and 3!

a/n: spoiler, but shiv’s in this one and we’re going to pretend like she canonically acts like that and doesn’t hate everyone and everything. enjoy x

Word Count: 2,358

Your meeting with Marcia went suspiciously smoothly. She fed you, sent you home with fancy tea leaves, and made you promise not to overwork yourself, which you found uncomfortably endearing.

It’s two weeks before Christmas, and you’re trying not to fall asleep standing up at the register. It’s been busier than usual, and you’ve been working later and later each day.

The lady in front of you is gorgeous. Her hair is the perfect shade of orange, and her pantsuit is the same one you’d been eyeing while window shopping up the street.

She orders a box of miniature cheesecakes then asks, “What’s your favorite?”

You glance at your pastry display and smile. “That’s a difficult question. I love everything I bake, which is selfish, but…” You open the display case and fish out a small slice of key-lime pie— the same recipe that got you hired by Logan. “If I had to choose right now, my key-lime is my favorite.”

“Wait, I recognize that. Are you by chance Y/N Y/L/N?”

You’re taken slightly aback. “I am. Why?”

“You’re the baker doing dessert for my family’s Christmas dinner. I was wondering why my brother recommended this place.” She reaches across the counter and gives your hand an excited squeeze. “I wasn’t there when you were baking for my dad, but I found the pie when I was over later. Best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“You’re Kendall’s sister?”

“Siobhan. Shiv. You’re the one he’s always talking about!”

You feel your face flush. “Always?”

“Yes, always. You know what? I think we’d be good friends.”

You smile.

Shiv pays for her pastries and beckons you around the counter. “The second a customer walks in, get up and go. Don’t let me keep you.”

Unlike Kendall, Shiv was an open book. You both talk freely of your work, her asking questions and responding to any of yours about her job. She asks about the competing café that had opened down the street, but you tell her you don’t think you’re worried because the owner has a crusty little white dog he lets run around the property and terrorize customers.

“I love your stuff better than anything else I’ve tried, anyway,” she says. “I’ll tell everyone I know to come here, don’t worry.” The bells tinkle as someone comes in. “Aw, damn. I’ll leave you to it.”

You exchange numbers and a quick hug before she leaves and you get back to work. Because you threw yourself into your work, you didn’t really keep friends that well. It was nice to have a bubbly personality in your life again.

જ⁀➴

A few days later, Kendall texts you that he has the night off and that you should come over. Giddily, you throw on sweats and a sweater and realize he’s already outside. When you climb into the passenger seat, you tell him, “I have a car. You don’t have to take me everywhere.”

He waits until you buckle your seatbelt to start the car, not responding to what you said. He seems dazed, not focused.

“Are you alright?” you ask quietly, watching as Kendall white-knuckles the steering wheel.

“Fine.”

“Is this a bad time for me to be here?”

“What?” That seems to snap him out of his trance. “No, no. I want you here.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong, Kendall.”

He stays silent for a moment, focused on the road. “Issues with my ex-wife.”

You know he’s been divorced, you know he has two kids. “Want to talk about it?”

“No,” he says harshly. You wince, not pressing it any further, and shift to stare out the window. After a few minutes of strained silence, he sighs and wipes at his face with his hand. “I’m sorry. That was rude. I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything for a moment. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s not fine how I spoke to you. I’m sorry,” he repeats. He glances at you before putting his eyes back on the road.

You chew on your bottom lip. “What do you want to watch tonight?” you ask, changing the subject.

Kendall visibly relaxes and throws you a grateful look. “I have a bunch of old Disney movies.” Turns out, his apartment complex isn’t too far from yours. You follow him into the building and up on the elevator. “I also think I have the old Spider-Man movies.”

“Toby Maguire?”

“I loved them when I was younger.” When you’re both awkwardly settled on his couch, he says, “I, uh, got popcorn to pop for this,” and doesn’t say anything else.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to pop popcorn.”

He avoids your gaze. “I’ll let you pick the movie if you do it?”

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you say sarcastically.

Kendall goes pink with what you think is shame. “Please. Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I’m only joking.” You bump his knee with yours before making your way to his kitchen. It takes you a bit to find a pan and some oil, but you have the kernels popped and sitting in a bowl in no time. You pad back into the living room, your socks making soft sounds as they hit the carpet.

You hand him the bowl. “You have no butter in your fridge, you monster. Enjoy disgustingly unbuttered popcorn.”

“If you couldn’t tell, I don’t exactly cook that much.”

You sit yourself down next to him, tuck your feet under yourself and lean into him. He doesn’t pull away, but he doesn’t make any move to get closer to you, either.

Before sitting down, he’d shown you where he keeps the movies and you drew Toby Maguire’s Spider-Man from the shelf.

Kendall keeps the bowl between you two, making sure you’re eating. “Sorry. About all of this.”

“Stop. You’re doing fine. I know you think you’re not allowed to have emotions, but you are.” You readjust, setting your head on the spot where his chest meets his arm.

The movie starts, and you’re immediately fighting back tears.

Kendall shifts in his seat, trying to keep you both comfortable before throwing you a worried look. “Y/N? Why are you crying?”

“His uncle just died, Ken! And he thinks it’s his fault!” You can’t help it- you don’t know why, but you cry easily at movies. “Sympathetic, much?”

He scoffs and finally hooks his arm around you, bracing his hand on your jaw, keeping your head on his chest. His thumb traces absentminded patterns into your skin as the movie goes on. “You’ll be fine,” he says gruffly. You laugh and smile to yourself, glancing up at him. “I forgot how bad the quality is.”

“That’s what gives it its charm, Ken.” His fingers brush up and down your jaw. You two stay like this the entire movie, and you cry every time the movie demands it if you.

Every time, without even looking, Kendall thumbs your tears away.

With ten minutes left in the movie, you can feel yourself slipping away. You’re at the point where you can barely keep your eyes open, your cheek pressed up against Kendall’s torso. The last thing you think before dozing off is that you hope you don’t snore.

જ⁀➴

You wake up to the sent of faint cedar wood and Kendall’s cologne. You don’t know where you are for a moment, but when you shift and stretch out your body, you realize you’re in bed. In his bed.

You roll over and find that you’re by yourself. The other side of the bed doesn’t even look slept in. You find your phone charging on the nightstand next to you- it’s eight in the morning.

You wander back into the living room to find Kendall face down on the couch, snoring lightly. He’d taken a pillow from his bed and put it over his head, blocking out the light pouring in from the windows.

You decided you’d wait for him to wake up before doing anything. You’d feel bad if you called an Uber and left him here without saying anything, and you don’t want to be rude and do anything in his home without him knowing. Instead, you climb back into bed and kill time on your phone.

You have a working list of ingredients you need to get by Christmas Eve, and a schedule of what and when you’re going to start baking. You’re going to be closed the entire week of Christmas- just for your own sanity. Was this Christmas going to be absolute hell? Probably. But you craved the challenge. You needed it.

“Y/N? You up?” Kendall rasps, poking his head through the doorway. “I made coffee.” You follow him into the kitchen, exchanging ‘good mornings’, and he hands you a mug.

You murmur a ‘thank you’ before asking, “How’d I end up in bed?”

He says nothing, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You know you snore like a puppy?”

“You know you snore like a cartoon character?”

“Your thing is cute.” He leans against the kitchen counter, his hair ruffled and shirt wrinkled. You cross an arm over your torso, facing him.

“I could’ve slept on the couch,” you say.

“Then I would’ve slept on the floor.”

“Ken, it’s your home.”

“I’m not letting the guest in my home sleep on the couch. ‘Specially not you.”

You finish your coffee and wash your mug in the sink. When Kendall gives you a dirty look, you tell him, “It’s the least I can do,” then demand he gives you his mug.

“Hey. I need to get to work. You can, um, stay as long as you like. Or you can go. Whatever you want.”

“I’ll stick around until you leave?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll call you a car.”

He disappears into his bathroom, and you hear the shower turn on. You lounge around on his couch, sitting with your thoughts. You don’t exactly understand your relationship with Kendall. Are you exclusive? Does he like you like you like him? Sometimes, like last night, you were perfectly cozy with each other, and other times, like the night when you kissed him on your porch, he made you want to rip your face off in embarrassment.

A half hour later, Kendall absentmindedly sits down next to you, fiddling with his tie. A matching blazer to his gray slacks is tossed over his shoulder. He stares ahead of him, while you stare at him, finally tying his tie.

“You look nice,” you say softly.

He glances over at you, meeting your eyes, and gives you a rare, tender smile.

“I’ve been thinking,” he begins. “It’d be nice if you spent Christmas with me. My family.”

You smile. “Is Shiv going to be there?”

“How do you know Shiv?”

“She came into the bakery the other day. She recognized the pie I made your dad.” You tuck a bit of his hair into place. “She also said you talk about me a lot.”

Your smile splits into a grin as he blushes, embarrassed. “She said that?”

“Among other things.”

“I do talk about you. I… I can’t stop thinking about you, sometimes,” he says, face still pink. “I never say anything bad. There’s nothing bad to say, anyway.”

You steel yourself, then ask, “What are your intentions with me?”

“The more time we spend together, the more I want to make ‘us’ a thing.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I’m scared,” he says simply. “I’m scared I’ll ruin it.”

“Why?” you ask again.

“I don’t even know,” he admits quietly. “I’m clearly not good enough for you. I was, and probably still am an addict. My ex won’t let me see my kids. I have an asshole father who’s also my boss”

“I decide who’s worth my time and who isn’t, not you.” You shift so that you’re sitting sideways on the couch, completely facing him. “I like you, you know.”

Kendall looks into his lap. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What makes you think you will?”

“Everything I’ve ever done in my life.” He drags his hands over his face and braces his elbows on his knees, holding his head up. “God. That’s ridiculous to admit.”

“Well, let’s take it slow, then.”

“But I want you now. Which is insane, but I do, even though I’ve only known you two weeks, I do.”

You fidget with the hem of your shirt. “I don’t-“

He cuts you off, pressing his mouth to yours. This time, he’s not stagnant. He kisses you like you’re fresh air after a deep sea dive, like he needs you to survive. Kendall’s desperate, needy, hungry for this. For you.

When he pulls away, he looks shaken. “Is this wrong?”

“Not in my eyes.”

You pull him back towards you, taking his jaw in your hands. He doesn’t falter, kissing you again, his hand coming up to close around your wrist. This time, you go slow, keeping the kiss sweet and tender.

This time, it’s you who pulls away. You wipe at his lip with your thumb. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Don’t be mean about it,” he says meekly. “I’m sorry for holding back before. I… we’ll figure it out together, right?”

“Right. And stop apologizing. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“You must think I’m-”

You press a finger to his lips. “Kendall. Stop.” He gives the pad of your finger a weak kiss. “You have feelings, too. Just feel them, it’s okay.”

He moves your finger from his mouth, instead taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm. “As much as I’d like to stay and talk about all that sappy shit, I have to go.”

“Ugh, you know just how to ruin the moment.”

You both get to your feet as he rolls his eyes at you. “Put on your shoes and get the fuck out of my apartment,” he says teasingly, setting a hand on your head and kissing your brow.

“Nice seeing you too, Kendall, I had a great time, Kendall.”

He tweaks your nose and gives you a last kiss on the lips before he’s gone.

#succession #kendall roy #succession fic #succession hbo #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy x you #succession x reader #succession fic writer #wambsgansshoelaces #something sweet

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icequeenoriginal · 10 months

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Fairest of Them All

Pairings; (Implied) Prinxiety

Warning: Crying, having bad thoughts, Remus, self-punishment, hurt/comfort, Roman angst, capslock, movie death mentioned (let me know if I missed anything)

Author’s Note: The saga of me making Roman every Disney princess continues! This one is a bit different because I am not actually putting the Sanders Sides characters in the Snow White story, you’ll see what I mean in a second. I hope you enjoy it. All feedback is appreciated.

Roman likes fairytales.

What’s not to like about them? They have princes, ballads, and the occasional dragon witch. The characters go on these amazing journeys where they can see beautiful places, wear beautiful outfits and meet beautiful people.

Best of all, they always had happy endings.

Roman loves happy endings. Happy endings mean that everyone is safe and happy. Where people fall in love.

Where the prince’s efforts paid off. Where his family shows they care about him. Where no one thought he was evil.

Roman wanted a happy ending.

The happy ending where he would be told he did the right thing. The happy ending where he saved the day. The happy ending where he was Thomas’ hero again.

But that did not seem likely.

Not after the wedding, not after the argument, not after the whole “Janus” fiasco.

Not after Janus confirming his worst fear.

As Roman paced around his room, he knew he had to face the facts. There was no way he was Thomas’ hero now.

Janus’ nod felt like a death sentence. The last thing he saw before his head would be chopped off while the crowd cheers for his death. Unwanted and rejected.

And now there was nothing he could do.

Well, not exactly.

There was a lot he could do. He could ignore everyone and pretend that everything is okay. Continue to be himself. Not likely, as proven earlier when he tried practicing fake smiling in the mirror but only led to him breaking down. So that idea was out.

He could yell at everyone, telling them what he really feels, especially to Janus. Terrible idea, as the events of today, have shown him.

Option three is to answer Patton’s request to talk. Even though Patton had stopped knocking, Roman knew he was still standing behind the door. Roman could see his shoes under the door. He knew Patton would listen to him, let him rant, and give him advice. He might even apologize. It seemed like the best option.

But he didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to listen to Patton now. He didn’t want to even get close to the door.

He wants to be angry. He wants to throw something. He wants to open the door just to slam it in Patton’s face. He wanted to be the villain they all thought he was.

The only thing he could compel himself to do was lay on the floor and cry. Cry until he could never cry again. He knew it wasn’t good for him...or maybe it was, he can’t remember Logan's lecture about cry at this moment.

He couldn’t really think about anything, his head was too loud but all he could hear was static.. He felt like that would go on forever before his thoughts were interrupted by the soft melody of ‘One Song’.

Roman looks over to see his Snow White music box. He silently watches Snow White and the Prince dance as the melody plays. He is not sure what activated the music but he appreciates it nonetheless.

As the song continues, Roman takes deep breathes, calming himself down. He manages to sit up all the way by the end. His breathing is finally back to normal and the tears seemed to stop.

What did Logan say about distraction? That sometimes it was the healthy thing to do? God, that movie session seemed so long. He is going to miss those, now that everything’s different.

Maybe watching Snow White would make him feel better. He could have a snack and cuddle with his stuffed animals while ignoring his feelings.

There was only one problem, he would have to leave his room. Everything, including Thomas’ Snow White DVD, was in the living room/kitchen. He already promised himself that he wasn’t going to leave his room so that idea was thrown out the window.

Before that thought could worsen his mood more, a bright light and the sound of a door being open caught his attention.

The Imagination.

Roman took a few moments to just stare at the bright white light. It practically begged him to come in and play.

“Huh, that might not be a bad idea.” Roman thought to himself. He could make his own Snow White and having to focus to keep the world together would be an even better distraction.

Roman pushes himself off the floor and he walks through. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath as the blank white world fills with the scenery of the classic Disney film.

He looks down to see he is wearing gray, faded ratty pants with different patches sewn into the pants leg. He turns to the window next to him to see he has an equally ratty shirt on.

Huh, guess he is being Snow White.

He didn’t intend to do that but there was no going back now. Not when he put so much effort into this already. Well, the imagination did anyway. It did that sometimes, give him what he wanted. Like it had a mind of its own. Like a friend he could always rely on.

He gives himself another once over before snapping a small navy blue bow clip in his hair. Details matter!

(It’s not technically accurate to the original, but he never really could stand to have a headband on for long.)

He checks over the castle, making sure every brick is as accurate to the movie as possible. He does the Evil Queen’s room last. He makes sure to get every spellbook and every vial.

Now it was time for the evil Queen.

But first, he had to take a moment to admire his work. Yeah, that’s the only reason.

So he stared for an agonizing long time, until his eyes started to gloss over.

Roman sighs and rubs his face, he couldn’t put it off anymore. His mind immediately wanted to make Janus the Evil Queen but a sharp pain of guilt in his stomach made him stop.

He knew that would be mean and vindictive. If someone walked in, they would tell him he was wrong, again. He is not sure he could handle that.

That meant Remus was out too. Better to be safe than sorry.

Any image of Patton flashed through his mind, but not Patton dressed in his normal attire. No, Patton dressed as the Evil Queen.

Roman is nearly knocked over by the thought. He covers his mouth to suppress the sob that seems to come out of nowhere.

“I thought I was done crying,” Roman thinks bitterly.

Evil. Evil! EVIL! That was a thought only an evil person would have. To make Patton the villain, kind, sweet Patton just because he was mad at him.

Maybe he was evil.

He deserved to be punished. That’s what all villains deserved.

He summons the Dragon-Witch to play the Evil Queen. This had to be the simplest choice. Why didn’t he think of this first?

Oh right, because he is a bad person.

The Dragon Witch snarls at him, “With your father gone, I know have to run this Kingdom alone. You will no longer sit around. You will cook, clean, carry your weight around here.”

Roman silently nods.

“You may be a prince but you are not my son.” Roman didn’t know why that stung so much.

The dragon witch shoves a mop into Roman’s arms which Roman accepted without question. He stays silent as he heads out into the hall and begins to mop.

He finds himself smiling. “This is perfect actually. Cleaning is good AND distracting. And, and it’s a punishment! This is perfect.”

Roman looks out the window and sees the wishing well. It was one of his favorite Disney songs.

But…

Roman shook his head, he felt as though he didn’t deserve it.

He would clean until he tires himself out and just ends the scene here.

That, he felt, was good.

Remus, like any of the sides, was a fan of Disney. He loved all the hidden adult jokes and his absolute favorite movie was Tarzan with all its violence and that ending…

You know with the bad guy hanging around! Haha!

Remus had himself a good chuckle before checking over the scene in front of him. He seems Roman scrubbing the balcony of Snow White’s Castle as the Dragon Witch watches him disapprovingly.

“Huh, This is...different,” Remus thought.

In the past, whenever Roman put himself into stories, especially Disney ones, he was the “brave and wonderful” prince, and Remus played the “vile and evil” villain. So to see Roman as the damsel was odd.

That was the only thing off. He didn’t care that Roman never asked him to play anymore.

It was out of character, he wasn’t actually concerned.

He was just going to mess with Roman, that’s why he moved closer. That was the only reason.

Turning himself into a dark black raven, Remus flies down and sits on the very wishing well that Roman was staring at, moments ago.

He sits on the end of the wishing well and spots the Dragon Witch watching Roman in the window, she has a disapproving scowl on her face. Roman continues to clean the courtyard stairs though there is something very very off.

Why wasn’t he singing?

Roman, Mister Disney extraordinaire and number one anti-remakes, was always faithful to the original, though he would make always make it gay.

“It doesn’t count,” Roman would always argue, “I’m gay, Thomas is gay, we’re all gay, we don’t kiss girls”

Remus had seen this movie, as had every one of Thomas’ side, about a million times. The birds were in position but Roman was not singing. In fact, Roman starts to clean away from the wishing well.

Well, that can’t be right.

Remus observes Roman for almost half an hour before deciding that Roman has no intention to continue the story.

“How boring!” Remus thinks, “What kind of story is ‘boy who cleans all day’? There’s no heart, no blood, no creativity! This will not do, no, no. Guess I have to make it fun.”

Remus flies swiftly by Roman, who barely even glances at him.

He just continues to clean, clean, and clean.

Just clean, clean, and clean...

Virgil drapes his left leg over the armrest closest to the kitchen and his right leg rests on the top of it. His head was just under the other couch’s arm. His right arm lays lazily over his chest as he holds his phone close to his neck while his left hand dangled near his bag of chips on the ground.

Thomas was having a lazy day. It had been a few days since Lee and Mary Lee had visited and while an outsider might think things were all good now, Virgil knew better. Just because one good thing happened, doesn’t mean all the shitty other problems would magically go away. His job would be so much better if it did.

A blind man could see how tense everyone was. Thomas was going through a lot and they all felt the effects of it.

He honestly didn’t know what he specifically should be stressing about, there was that much stuff going on right now.

Luckily, he didn’t have to pick because it was simply picked for him. One moment he was staring at the ceiling and the next moment, Remus is floating over him, smirking evilly.

Virgil definitely DID NOT squeal as tumbled off the couch. That definitely DID NOT happen.

Remus bursts into laughter as Virgil huffed and stood up. “Ohohohoho, how that never gets old.”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Yeah, great, hilarious. Are you done?”

“Not quite! I have so much more up my sleeve!” Remus announces as he pulls out a dead rat from his right sleeve.

Virgil only blinked at him, too used to seeing things like this. “Okay, now are you done? I have a whole lot of nothing to be doing right now.”

“Actually, in a minute, you will have a whole lot of something to do.”

Virgil audibly groans and pushes himself off of the couch, “Are you kidding me, Remus? What did you do now? This is possibly the worst time for you to do something to Thomas!” Virgil began to pace around the room sporadically. He opens and closes his fist as he does, trying to ground himself.

He was so focused on that, that he didn’t notice that Remus wasn’t reacting to him at all. In fact, he was so still that he almost faded into the background.

Once Virgil does realize, he stops and turns to Remus, “What? Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m waiting for you to shut up.”

Virgil was so shocked by what Remus said that he could not stop his jaw dropping in shock. Remus decided that this was a victory and to continue,

“Look, a little bird told me, before I ate it of course, that Roman is acting strange in the imagination.”

“Strange?”

“Strange and unusual! Unfortunately, it is not the good kind. He is not even doing his boring work for Thomas and I know that is all you guys care about.” Remus says as he smirks, clearly trying to taunt Virgil.

“Hey, that’s not true–”

“Oh? Then prove it. Go to him. See what’s wrong.” Virgil’s eyes widen as he hears the shift in Remus’ tone. There was none of his usual teasing, no chuckling, nothing.

He truly never thought he would ever see Remus be serious.

Virgil takes a deep breath, “I’ll go. Lead the way.”

“Wonderful!” Remus shouts as his only warning before grabbing Virgil’s arm and sinking out of the living room.

Popping into imagination, Virgil hesitated to open his eyes. Was the imagination in shambles? Or fire? Were there monsters everywhere?!

Virgil quickly snapped his eyes open and looked around. The first thing he noticed was how normal everything looked. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing and he could see unicorns running in the distance.

Virgil briefly wondered that maybe Remus was just trying to get him out of the living room so that he could have the couch for himself, but she dismissed that thought as soon as he had it. Remus would have just sat on top of him or thrown him off the couch.

He turns to leave the imagination when a dark raven with bright green eyes flies in front of him. They silently stare at each other before the raven flies to his left. It pauses and turns back to Virgil, waiting for him to follow.

Virgil rolls his eyes as he follows the bird. God, can this get any more dramatic?

Apparently, it can get more dramatic! In the form of a giant castle.

It wasn’t like the giant castle Roman normally has in the imagination. For one thing, this castle was much more white than it did red, and there was no gold to be found. Second, this castle was on a cliff. Roman hated cliffs, he shared Patton’s fear of heights (though he would never admit it). Finally, the style of the castle did not match the rest of the imagination. It looked more like a giant painting that was plopped into the middle of the imagination by accident.

The raven flew up and perches itself on the wall closest to Virgil.

Virgil stares up at it, “You don’t expect me to climb this wall, do you?” The raven said nothing, only tilting its head. It blinks at Virgil for a few moments before screeching loudly.

A bright green light circles around Virgil. He can feel his hoodie disappearing off of his body and being replaced by something a bit heavier.

The light is so bright and intense that he is forced to shut his eyes.

He has no idea how long he has had his eyes closed. He only opens them again when he feels a small weight on his right shoulder. He sees the raven perched there on his shiny new pauldron.

Wait, what?

Virgil examines his new outfit. He is wearing shiny black boots that blended perfectly with his dark purple pants. He is also wearing a matching dark purple tunic, the sleeves of which are tucked into thick black gloves.

The pauldron is attached to a brown leather strap that goes across his chest, under his left armpit, and across his back. To round out his outfit, a brown leather with a scabbard holding a rapier.

“Isn’t this a bit much?” Virgil asks the raven. Its only reply is to fly back up to the spot it was in on the wall before Virgil’s transformation.

“Yeah, this is Roman’s domain after all.” Virgil takes a deep breath, “Alright, let’s do this.” he says before grabbing the wall.

Almost immediately, his arms began to burn as he pulls himself only a few feet off the ground. He definitely needed to exercise more. To think he had planned to spend today lounging around and snacking...

How the hell am I going to climb this wall?

It took him 17 minutes to get up the wall, though it felt like hours.

His arms are burning, he is covered in sweat and he is beyond frustrated.

He is going to kill that bird.

He sits next to the raven on the top of the wall and takes long and loud deep breaths.

“You. Nearly. Killed. Me. With. That.” He growls between each gasp for breath.

The raven did nothing but stare at him.

Virgil hisses and swipes at the raven…which only leads to his falling forward and off the wall.

He manages to turn himself fast enough that he falls onto his side instead of on his head, though the strap does dig into his side painfully.

Virgil groans as he sits up, questioning all the decisions that have led him to this moment. He feels a presence approaching him.

He looks up, expecting the raven again. Instead, he is face-to-face with Roman.

Well, almost Roman. This Roman wasn’t wearing his usual outfit nor his usual boisterous simile. This Roman’s clothes were tattered, and he looked frightened.

“Roman?” Virgil asks as he stands up, swiping the dirt off of him.

Roman takes a step back from him as he exclaims, “Who are you and how do you know my name?!”

“What are you talking about? It’s me, Virgil. Why are you acting so weird? And what is this place? This isn’t your usual castle.”

Virgil takes another step towards Roman, his stomach dropping as Roman shrinks away from.

This isn’t right, this isn’t Roman. Remus was right, there is something seriously wrong. Oh god, if Roman is like this, what could be happening to Thomas?!

Before Virgil could spiral any further, Roman continues, “Look, I don’t know why you are and how you know me but you need to leave before my stepmother notices you’re here. She hates intruders.”

Virgil can hear a record scratch in his brain. Stepmother? When have any of them had a stepmother? Thomas doesn’t even have a stepmother.

Wait a minute.

Stepmother, castle, cleaning.

Virgil looks over Roman’s shoulder, seeing a very familiar long window.

“Ohhhh, are you doing some kind of scene? Is that what’s going on?” Virgil finds himself relaxing a bit. If it's a scene, then nothing is wrong. If it’s a scene, then Roman is okay.

“A…scene…?” Roman says before suddenly freezing up. His outfit flickers from the tattered servant clothes to his normal outfit as he grips his head in pain.

“Roman!” Virgil puts his hands on Roman’s shoulder, stopping the outfits from switching. Roman, back in his original outfit, lets go of his head.

“Virgil?” He asks softly.

“Hey, Ro. Mind telling me what is going on?”

Roman pauses and looks around, his expression is unreadable. He takes in the scene around him, and his eyes widen as he remembers.

“Oh…oh no…Virgil…I made a huge mistake…”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve gotten lost in my head plenty of times before.” Virgil slightly chuckles “Thought, I will admit that this is much cooler than what my head gives me.”

Roman blushes slightly, looking down at the ground as he spoke, “T-Thanks…but that’s not what I was talking about…”

“How about you tell me when we get back?”

Roman’s head shot up “Back…?” “Yeah, we can split some ice cream and vent,” Virgil extends his hand to him with his signature smirk on his face. “Come on, let’s go.” Roman stares at Virgil’s hand for a few tense moments before slowly moving his hand towards Virgil’s. Just before their hands make contact, a boom voice causes the both of them to jump.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

The dragon witch, in all her Evil Queen glory, flew down and land right behind Roman. The instant that her feet touched the ground, Roman froze. His outfit immediately changed back to the ragged one he had on previously and he shrinks away from Virgil.

“Excuse me, but who are you?!” she snarls at him, “Get out of my castle immediately! Roman, how dare you not send this man away! You are such a failure. Absolutely useless.”

Roman shrinks in on himself, staring intently at the ground. Right, this was his punishment. He deserved this. He–

“Hey! You can’t talk to him like that!”

Both Roman and the Dragon Queen’s eyes snapped towards Virgil. Even the dark green crow, who had made himself comfortable on a nearby tree branch, cocked its head to listen in.

“Excuse me?” the dragon queen growled, “Do you know who I am?! I am the queen and this is my servant, I can say whatever I please to him!”

“Oh no, I’ve seen this movie about a million times, I know that he is the prince and the rags, the cleaning and everything is because you’re insecure about your looks!”

“How dare you--”

“Can it, lady! Roman is my boy--I mean one of my best friends! He’s passionate, hardworking and super kind. He never backs down from what he believes and also makes very good hot chocolate that is just prefect for a rain day! And he may be loud when he sings but his voice is so amazing that I don’t care! He is a great prince and a 1000% better rule of this place than you so you can get out and far away from him!”

And just like that, the dragon witch disappears. Along with the castle, the scenery, and everything else. Even Roman turns back to normal, relaxing the knot in Virgil’s stomach. He looks down, happy to see himself back in his normal hoodie.

Strangely, as the imagination turned back into an empty white void, the dark green crow stayed. It was forced to fly when its branch, though it wasn’t annoyed. It flies over to Virgil, landing on his shoulder.

“I think everything will be okay now, Remus.” VIrgil whispers. The crow doesn’t reply, only flying off and out of the imagination. Virgil watched it go with a smile before turning back to Roman.

Roman was staring at Virgil in disbelief, as if he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. Virgil started fidgeting with his hoodie string, embarrassment flooding him as he realizes that Roman definitely, without a doubt, absolutely heard every word he just said.

“Oh god, this is awkward…so Ro--”

Virgil’s mouth slams shut as Roman pulls him into a hug, but quickly turns his mouth into a smile.

Someone somewhere said something about how actions are better than words. A hug, a hug is good.

They silently popped back into the living room, unable to look at one another.

Virgil didn’t like this silence. It was so tense. He had to fix this.

“Listen,” Virgil says as he rubs the back of his head, clearly nervous, “Thomas is heading to the mall now. It’s not a high-stakes adventure, but it’s out of the house.” Roman looked into Virgil’s eyes. There was no disappointment, there was no hate. In fact, they were filled with concern, hope, and maybe even...love? It was hard for Roman to believe that but the evidence was right in front of him.

Roman smiles and nods “That sounds like fun.”

Little did Roman know that he not only would have fun, but it was the fairy tale story he was looking for.

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #prinxiety #sanders sides fanfic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #ts roman #ts virgil #ts remus

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fireessie · 26 days

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Wait James helped Logan with the situation with his parents😮

What was the immediate fallout after the texas fic when Logan decided to cut them off??

He did! I've semi hinted at it (I think? Maybe not) but never actually expanded on it. This was obviously back when James was nice (or pretending to be nice) to Logan. I will preface this by saying there's no legal process for estrangement post 18 and I delved into the fun world of Florida law regarding wills and trust funds so I've tried to base it off of real processes but obviously this is fiction so I've embellished. This is going to be long, so it's under the line!

The immediate aftermath is quite calm. His parents message and leave voicemails for the next week or so threatening Logan with various legal consequences but he stays focused on Mexico and Brazil and doesn't respond (although he does listen to each voicemail when he's alone because he's hoping that one of them is his parents apologising)

When the team get back to the factory after Brazil, HR tell Logan that he's received several parcels and when he opens them, it's all of the stuff that he'd left at his parents house - which is quite a lot of stuff. Most of it is now destroyed, ripped, scrunched up etc so he loses a lot of it. In a separate envelope is a legal document telling Logan that he is no longer listed as a beneficiary in his parents and paternal grandparents wills. Plus there's something about sueing for money already given to Logan.

There's then a separate document stating that Logan is no longer a part of the Sargeant pack.

Being removed from the pack stings. That's basically a formal 'you're not my son' anymore. It separates Logan from his parents and Dalton in the eyes of Florida state law and basically says he has no claim on the Sargeant name and any benefits that brings. It removes him from their medical profiles so he won't be contacted about them and vis versa. It's also something that can be made public knowledge. (It stays quiet pretty long, maybe it comes out around Miami '24 or when Logan gets dropped because people are digging 🤔)

Being removed from his families pack also means he has no secondary emergency contact. Oscar is his primary but the FIA dictates that for racing couples, a secondary is needed just in case the primary is also hurt. Logan can't use Dalton because Dalton is still in the Sargeant pack and he doesn't know who else to use. He's not sure if he's allowed to use Oscar's family because technically it's linked with Oscar being his primary contact. Plus Logan has to notify the FIA of this change legally.

So poor Logan is just sat in the Williams factory surrounded by paper because legal documents are unnecessarily long. He's a bit overwhelmed and goes to one of the adults he trusts. James.

He initially asks James if he can have the Williams legal department look over the documents because even though he knows its not the same type of law, he just can't understand it. James obviously says yes and helps Logan sort the documents out and take then round to the legal guys. He translates some of the legal lingo for Logan and they're able to say pretty quickly that his parents have no legal standing for sueing. He also offers to look through the boxes to see if there's anything he can do to salvage some of it because he can see Logan is upset at the potential loss of some of the items. He liases with the FIA about Logan's secondary contact and they say that as Oscar and Logan had signed an 'intention to mate' form, Logan can use Oscar's family. (He would also be able to join the Piastri pack when they're mated but Logan is hesitating about it)

He gets Logan's parents on a security list so Williams are notified if they get paddock passes and helps Alex get a restraining order against Logan's dad. When he's helping Alex, he makes sure to include Logan so he can see how the process works just in case Logan decides to follow Alex's example (he doesn't)

All in all, James does really help Logan during this period.

#anon ask #my writing #loscar abo series

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formulafic · 8 months

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request a fic (open)

Under the cut is over 200 prompts compiled from the following: 1-100, 101-140, 141-220

ᕯno social media aus at this time

ᕯYou can request "xreader," second person pov, or third person pov. If you are requesting a fic from the given prompts, don't forget to send in the prompt number with your request.

themes I write:

☞fluff: dating, going on dates, falling in love, proclamations of love, etc. ☞domesticity: married life, families, children, proposals, caring for one another, home activities, etc. ☞angst: hurt/comfort (driver or reader being hurt), relationships falling apart, emotional characters, etc. ☞smut: most kinks (I will let you know privately if your request includes a kink I can't write), for the most part, will write pics with drivers or readers interchanged in these roles: d/s, daddy/mommy kinks, toys, overstimulation, dacryphilia, begging, delayed orgasms/edging, etc. (no bodily fluids, pegging, m/m, non-con).

who I write for:

☞Charles Leclerc ☞Lando Norris ☞Carlos Sainz ☞Mick Schumacher ☞Max Verstappen ☞Logan Sargeant

prompts:

1. “Do you want me to leave?” 2. “I swear it won’t happen again.” 3. “I’m not jealous.” 4. “You can’t keep doing this.” 5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” 6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” 7. “You did what?!” 8. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 9. “Don’t ask me that.” 10. “I might have had a few shots.” 11. “What’s with the box?” 12. “Say it!” 13. “I could kiss you right now!” 14. “Are you done with that?” 15. “Are you still awake…?” 16. “Excuse you?” 17. “This is all your fault!” 18. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.” 19. “I could kill you right now!” 20. “Just admit I’m right.” 21. “That doesn’t even make sense.” 22. “That’s irrational.” 23. “Just pretend to be my date.” 24. “Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” 25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” 26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.” 27. “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” 28. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 29. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” 30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.” 31. “You weren’t supposed to laugh!” 32. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” 34. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” 35. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.” 36. “Did I say that out loud?” 37. “Do you think they could have loved me?” 38. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” 39. “How long have you been standing there?” 40. “Have I ever lied to you?” 41. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” 42. “His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.” 43. “I am not losing you again!” 44. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” 45. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 46. “I just need to be alone right now.” 47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” 48. “I made a mistake.” 49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” 50. “I need you to forgive me.” 51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” 52. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” 53. “I’m flirting with you.” 54. “I’m not good enough for you.” 55. “I fell in love with my best friend.” 56. “I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” 57. “I’m up to the challenge.” 58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.” 59. “I’m yours.” 60. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.” 61. “If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!” 62. “It’s okay to cry…” 63. “What do you mean? It’s exciting!” 64. “Talk to me.” 65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?” 66. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.” 67. “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” 68. “Well, this is where I live.” 69. “We finish it the same way we started—together.” 70. “What are you afraid of?” 71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” 72. “You deserve so much better.” 73. “You don’t have to stay.” 74. “You don’t know you the way I do.” 75. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” 76. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” 77. “You shouldn’t have even been there!” 78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” 79. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 80. “Teach me?” 81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” 82. “Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.” 83. “Just once.” 84. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” 85. “It’s not what it looks like.” 86. “I got you a present.” 87. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!” 88. “See, now, what that so bad?”.” 89. “You’re the best part of me.”

#formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #mick schumacher fanfic #mick schumacher x reader #Logan sergeant fanfic #Logan sergeant x reader

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trollprincess · 2 years

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Okay, NO. I cannot be expected to wait another four weeks to talk about Glass Onion. I CANNOT.

I’m angry about only one thing and that’s that it’s not still in the theater because my immediate goal after walking out was to walk right back in again and see it once again to catch all the stuff that went on that I missed. (Like Helen. Helen! I spent so much time at the end of the movie going, “Wow, she does such a great acting job being her sister!” Except it was *her* all along and … Jesus, seriously give that woman an Oscar nomination.)

I also thought SO MUCH about the whole “you see what he wanted you to see” part of the plot, because yes. YES. I wish more movies did this gaslighting outside of an abusive domestic situation, *and* acknowledged it as such.

I also hope that when Benoit said, “I’ve got a guy,” he meant Philip, and ten minutes later Philip was clearing stacks of books out of their bathroom grumbling about why they can’t go do this in his salon, *Blanc*, you always do this, I don’t know how we didn’t break up ages ago, now go check on dinner while I rummage through what supplies I’ve got on hand.

Okay, but that last sequence … look, I called it sexy for a reason. That shit was so *satisfying*. I’m not going to pretend that it didn’t help that Miles felt VERY Elon on multiple fronts, which made it even better. But Helen getting to destroy it ALL - not just physically by smashing and burning and doing everything some of us wish we could do to a billionaire’s home, but by doing it in such a way that his whole damn empire is about to *fall the fuck apart*.

I kept thinking about Marta in the first movie and Helen in this one, how they both go up against the rich and privileged, although they wouldn’t have done so if a murder didn’t spur them on. They’re both exceptionally brave. Marta’s bravery may be more understated in comparison (God knows she doesn’t blow the house up), but they’re both the real heroes in movie where the urge is to go, “Well, Benoit is the hero, of course.” Even he would go, “No, I do this all the time. But HER! She’s a marvel.” God, I could watch a hundred movies where Benoit Blanc does his detective work while a woman stands up to privileged bullshit and wins over and over. I hope we get so many more Benoit Blanc movies. He’s SO good, but the movies also give him the BEST characters to work with or against.

Ugh, I just want to rewatch ALL of Janelle Monae’s scenes from the start. She had a scarf around her head in that scene with the box at the beginning and of COURSE she did, she’s wearing a robe, she probably just got up, but of COURSE she did, because she’s *Helen*, and she’s got a different haircut. And what I love is that yes, she smashed that box with the hammer because she was good and pissed and good for her, but also she’s the sort of character where if she actually sat down and tried to figure it out, you *know* she could. She’s sharp, she’s a teacher, she’s quick on her feet. But goddamn it, that box NEEDED smashing, and I feel like I could watch two straight hours of Janelle Monae breaking stuff and that would be my porn.

But I love Benoit Blanc so goddamn much, too. I’m not a James Bond fan so I haven’t watch Daniel Craig’s run (that’s on the character, not him), but I’ve adored him in other stuff. Like, he’s so much fun in Logan Lucky, a movie that doesn’t nearly get enough play for being VERY good and for featuring Southern characters without making them the butt of the joke. Oh, but Benoit.

Also, kudos to writing in the pandemic as a plot point in a way that didn’t make me want to whack the screenwriter on the head with a newspaper. Like, Kate Hudson wearing that jeweled chain mask was both so in character and SO infuriating because *people actually did that shit*, a fact I will NEVER get over.

#glass onion #spoilers

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the-active-news · 2 years

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Jake Paul's Net Worth, Boxing Career Record And How He Made His Millions!

Jake Paul's Net Worth, Boxing Career Record, And How He Made His Millions! In his first bout against a real boxer, Jake Paul will meet Tommy Fury in Saudi Arabia. On Sunday, February 26, they'll square off in front of 15,000 fans at the Diriyah Arena. At approximately 9.30 p.m. UK time is when the main event will begin. We've been waiting for this for over two years, and the anticipation is palpable. As a result of two postponements, we will finally get to watch these two massive figures square off against one another in the ring, where they can put all the trash talk aside and allow their skills to do the talking. Tommy is under a lot of pressure because if he loses to Paul, who is seen as unprofessional and undesirable by many boxing fans, the community will never forgive him. If Tommy loses, his heavyweight champion brother Tyson has threatened to retire him personally. Paul, at age 26, doesn't stand to lose as much. He is now unbeaten, entered boxing cold turkey, made more money than most fighters, and is widely recognized as the sport's most influential figure. However, he will be feeling the effects of all that discussion. What is Jake Paul's net worth? With a net worth of $40 million, Jake Paul is an American internet celebrity who is also an actor, boxer, and comedian. Between boxing events, merchandising, YouTube video views, and endorsements, Jake Paul earns at least $20 million and as much as $50 million per year (before taxes), making him one of the highest-paid social media stars in the world. You may also like Lisa Arrindell Anderson's Net Worth. Is Lisa Arrindell Anderson Still Married? Three professional boxing contests were the primary source of Jake's $45 million in earnings in 2021; the remaining $5 million came from endorsements and social media. The music video for his 2017 single "It's Everyday Bro" went viral on YouTube, and that's when he first attracted widespread attention from the media. He's Logan Paul's younger brother, the internet sensation who makes videos for the video-sharing website. Recently, Jake has been pursuing a career as a professional boxer. Millions of Pay Per View customers have watched him win matches against several opponents.According to Celebrity Net Worth. How did he make his money and build his fame? Jake Paul is the younger sibling of Logan Paul, one of the most well-known people in the world today thanks to his viral YouTube videos. Prime Energy, created by British YouTubers KSI and Logan, is a drink that has a giant grasp on today's youth, selling out virtually immediately in every market.

Ask KSI's brother Deji Olatunji how having a renowned sibling helped his career. But to be fair, Jake has earned his immense notoriety by developing a memorable public presence. But before we get there, it's important to understand his background. Jake Paul Wife Jake Paul is not married and is presently dating Julia Rose. Many people think he is still married to Tana Maongeau, but they were actually just pretending to be married. The split between Jake and Tana Maongeau and the subsequent courtship of Jake's ex-girlfriend led to the beginning of his relationship with Jake's ex-girlfriend. Fashion model Julia Rose has amassed more than a million Instagram fans. They don't hide the fact that they're dating and regularly post photos of each other online. Jake Paul's boxing career record Paul (5-0) has competed against NBA players, YouTubers, and previous MMA champions in the past. Former UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva will be his toughest opponent to date. Silva, who had a record of 34 wins and 11 losses in mixed martial arts with one no-contest, retired from the sport in 2020 to concentrate on boxing. The Spider has boxed twice before, in 1998 and 2005, with a perfect record. In 2021 he went back to Mexico and defeated Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. In September of 2021, Silva gave up a first-round KO against former MMA fighter Tito Ortiz. This past May, he engaged in unofficial combat against Bruno Machado. There is no denying Paul's meteoric rise to fame. The Sporting News has ranked his last five fights from easiest to hardest and provided a detailed analysis of each. 1. Nate Robinson (November 2020) Paul faced the three-time NBA Slam Dunk Champion Nate Robinson after beating AnEsonGib in his first professional combat (we'll get to him). The bout took place on the same card as the return of Mike Tyson, who faced off against Roy Jones Jr. As a bonus to the Triller Fight Club event, it worked out beautifully. https://youtu.be/8ZG03tMRtqU By the end of the first round, Paul clinched with Robinson, which led to Robinson's knockout. Paul knocked Robinson down twice more in the second. After taking another blow, Robinson went down on his face. After Paul's bout was stopped by the referee, he was declared the winner. Even if his opponent was a non-factor, "The Trouble Child" appeared to have progressed as a fighter. 2. AnEsonGib (January 2020) Paul's first opponent, YouTube sensation AnEsonGib, has two amateur fights under his belt. Paul was significantly larger than AnEsonGib, and the latter was unable to withstand the impact of Paul's power shots. After Paul knocked AnEsonGib down three times, the referee stopped the fight and awarded Paul the technical knockout victory. https://youtu.be/HmBcY72T71Y In Miami, the 25-year-old boxer competed on a real boxing night headlined by Demetrius Andrade vs. Luke Keeler. An appetizer, if you will, for the main course. Your first fight will always be the one that sticks out in your mind, but that doesn't mean it was the best. 3. Ben Askren (April 2021) Paul's first opponent, YouTube sensation AnEsonGib, has two amateur fights under his belt. Paul was significantly larger than AnEsonGib, and the latter was unable to withstand the impact of Paul's power shots. After Paul knocked AnEsonGib down three times, the referee stopped the fight and awarded Paul the technical knockout victory. https://youtu.be/lSAOx0wnDWM In Miami, the 25-year-old boxer competed on a real boxing night headlined by Demetrius Andrade vs. Luke Keeler. An appetizer, if you will, for the main course. Your first fight will always be the one that sticks out in your mind, but that doesn't mean it was the best. Related Article - Pooh Shiesty Net Worth: How Much Money Did Pooh Shiesty Have? - Dillon Danis Net Worth: He Banned From Misfits Boxing Final Line - We have a huge collection of recent articles the active news and also we update our website daily with current news also we need your support to share it with your friends and family and tell us your views in the comment section given below. Read the full article

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j-elaine-hyde · 2 years

Text

Now & Then - Part Two

Lieutenant Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Female Reader / Captain Logan Syverson

Warning: Smutty smut smut + sweet fluff. 18+ MDNI ... WC: 3,400+

It was Monday and you had the day off. Jake wasn’t so lucky, which meant you had the entire house to yourself until precisely 17:15. You had your morning coffee out on the patio enjoying the morning sun and the scent of the orange blossoms, before making your way lazily up to your shower.

You stepped into the steam filled sanctuary and stood under the water, letting it cascade around you. You gently placed your head on the cold tile in front of you and took in the quiet.

You weren’t sure why it happened, but you found yourself reminiscing about Logan’s enormous calloused hands drifting up your body. Imagining the way they felt kneading your breasts. Palming your ass. Massaging your thighs as his head was buried between them. Your breathing had become heavy and ragged. Your hand started to drift between your thighs, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you throw your head back and exhale, when you heard Jake clear his throat. You quickly removed your hand and spun around.

“Oh honey… Don’t let me stop you. I like the show.”

He stood there naked, leaning against the shower doorway, arms crossed, his erection leaving no question just how much he enjoyed the little show you were unknowingly putting on.

“Damnit Jake!” You sounded more pissed off than you had intended, but you were frantically trying to get Logan out of your head.

He looked…hurt.

“Come here. What are you doing home? And do you wanna help me finish?” Your smile warmed him, reaching out and stroking him made him forget any hurt he might have incurred.

“I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible before the next mission. I almost puked in the hangar to pretend being sick. It was quite a performance.”

Wide eyed you looked at him, “Baby I love you, but you’re a terrible actor.”

“I’m well aware… and so were they. But…” he swallowed hard, his expression momentarily falling. “They didn’t care.”

Something about his pause didn’t sit right in your stomach. He could tell by the look on your face you had caught on, but he was bound and determined to not let his hard-on go to waste.

He reached down and lifted you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck for a moment too long before you pushed against his chest.

“What aren’t you telling me Jake? Is it about the mission? What’s up? You’re scaring me.” Searching his face for any clues, you must have look panicked.

He couldn’t look you in the eye. You knew something was very wrong. You started to lower you leg to stand when he bucked you against the shower wall and entered you. And just like that, you temporarily forgot what you were upset about. Nothing else mattered. He made love to you in the shower, before moving you to the bed. You rolled around all day naked with the man you love. You ordered pizza and watched with glee as the 20 something pizza delivery girl about fell over herself as he answered the door with noting more than a sheet around his waist. You lounged on the living room floor in a mass of blankets eating the pizza right out of the box while you watched your favorite movies and endlessly touched each other.

You had decided to enjoy the not knowing and the spending time with your man. You already knew by his reaction that it wasn’t good. He’d tell you what you needed to know, when you needed to know it, and right now that was good enough. It had to be. You couldn’t let the anxiety ruin your fun.

Propped up on your elbow you watched as a completely naked Jake Seresin walked across the living room after retrieving two giant glasses of water and another bottle of wine. He skillfully set everything down without spilling and knelt on the floor smiling at you, taking in the beautiful scene in front of him.

“Don’t move!” He yelled back at you as he got up and trotted into the other room, one hand clutching his manhood as he ran. He came back with his phone and moved to a flattering angle taking pictures of you as you laid naked on the floor. “Baby, turn over, face me.” You hadn’t noticed what he was doing before now. You blushed slightly before playing along. You did your best to pose like a pin up girl or a racy model before pulling Jake onto the floor with you. You laid next to him, planting a kiss on his cheek as you snapped a picture of it. You must have taken a hundred pictures of the two of you rolling around together, kissing, laughing. Finally you gently placed the phone onto the coffee table and rolled back into his arms.

You took a deep breath, smelling his musk. Closing your eyes you tried to memorize the mix of deodorant, cologne, and sweat as he placed the softest kiss to your forehead.

“I gotta pee. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” He kissed your forehead and waited for you to sit up before bolting to the bathroom.

You waited to hear the bathroom door close before leaning over and snagging his phone. You laid back down fluffing out your hair and pulling your tits in. Turning the camera to video you hit record. “I love you Jake. So much. I miss you baby. I can’t wait for you to get home. I’ll be right here waiting for you. I love you.” You puckered up and drew the camera in closer for a kiss before pulling it out winking, and blowing one last kiss. You stopped the recording and quickly put the phone back.

You laid on your stomach, propped up on your elbows smiling to yourself at the thought of Jake finding that video later.

Jake walked back in fully dressed, holding one of your dresses. “Get dressed, we have somewhere we have to be.”

You sat up quickly. “Jake! What?! I have to shower, and fix my face… baby I can’t just throw on a dress and go….” You looked at him like he had lost his damn mind.

“Baby… stop. Just put the dress on. Let’s go. Please, for once, just do as I say. Without a million questions.”

You stood up a little hurt and pissed at his comment, unsure of when the mood soured or where you were going and why. You did as you were told without any further objection.

As Jake was leading you towards the front door, he grabbed his keys. “Jake I need shoes.”

“No you don’t. It’s fine.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. “Are you gonna kill me now? Because that’s the only scenario in which I don’t need shoes.”

He turned slowly with his brows furrowed. His expression changed quickly to shocked wide eyed surprise as he laughed. “Baby why would you ever say that? Trust me. You don’t need shoes. Now get your ass in the truck.” He kissed your temple and smacked you on the butt. “You do look incredible, by the way.” He wrapped his arms around your waist as he nestled his chin lightly on your shoulder. You stared at your reflection. Aside from the sour look on your face, you did look pretty in your white flowy maxi dress. You felt sexy with the slit up to your hip, the low cut neck line and off the shoulder arm band sleeves. It was flowy and you liked the minimalist floral design.

Barefoot, you stomped out to the truck and waited for him to open the door. He did so with his eyes locked on yours. Giving you a kiss before helping you in. His amused smirk was infuriating to you in this moment.

Once he got in the truck you noticed his outfit. He was wearing a white linen Oxford with the sleeves rolled up, and khaki linen pants, also rolled up to mid shin, and sandals. You didn’t even know he owned sandals like that.

Never one to miss much he noticed your incredulous stare out of the corner of his eye. He started cracking a grin and laughing.

Shaking his head he said, “I can’t believe me murdering you ever even crossed your mind. I’m a little offended, babe.”

“You’ve lost your damn mind Seresin. The fact that you put me in this dress and forced me to leave the house with no shoes and no clue where we’re going or why? You’re insane. Like this is how episodes of criminal minds start. I’ve seen this…”

“Baby… shut up. Just look.” He dramatically knife hand pointed out the windshield.

You had been too busy being pissy to even notice that he had driven you to that same secluded ocean outlook from the other day. The sun was starting to get low in the sky putting on the most beautiful sunset you’d ever seen. As your eyes adjusted you saw what you could only guess were thousands of little candles burning on the beach.

Your eyebrows went up and your jaw dropped. “Oh Jake….”

“Come on my darling stubborn ass.” He climbed out of the truck and walked around opening your door. As you slid out he slung you over his shoulder to carry you out onto the beach. He kicked off his shoes before walking though the candles carefully setting you in the sand. He held your hands in his as you looked around at all of the candles surrounding you.

“Baby… Y/N… I love you. You’re the only woman for me. I swear you were made just for me. You’re my best friend. You’re my biggest supporter and I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to go another day without you being my wife. I want to have babies with you, and grow old together. I wanna do life with you. I want to love you and take care of you for the rest of my life. Whatever happens, wherever we go, I want my life to be with you. Baby… Y/n… will you marry me?” He dropped down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket.

“Yes!” You screamed. Your hands flying to your face. “Are you kidding me? Of course I’ll marry you!” You collapsed onto him and wrapped your arms around him, kissing him deeply. You broke the kiss and held his gorgeous face in your hands, “I would’ve married you the day we met.”

“Same baby… I knew right then and there you were mine.” He slid the beautiful ring onto your finger as he helped you stand. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he swung you around and kissed you. Fireworks started shooting off in the sky all around you and cheers from your friends rang out as they ran out of the tree line towards the two of you.

You screamed with excitement as your friends descended upon you hugging you and congratulating you both. Phoenix grabbed your hand to look at the ring, her eyes popping wide.

Leaning over to kiss you on the cheek, Rooster grabbed your left hand away from Phoenix, “What’s wrong Hangman? Couldn’t afford to ship on the entire iceburg?” He laughed and told you congratulations adding quickly, “That’s a damn ice rink! I can't compete with that.”

Jake broke through the crowd to grab you around the waist, pulling you to the edge of the group and planting a kiss on your cheek. “Everybody…. Hey guys!” He cleared his throat. “Everybody I just wanted to thank you all for helping make this happen. I couldn’t have done it without you. And my girl deserves the best. Y’all delivered today for sure. So thank you again.”

“Drinks at the Hard Deck to celebrate!” Coyote shouted.

The crowd erupted in another round of cheers.

———

You and Jake sat in the truck in the Hard Deck parking lot. “Baby… can we please run home? I need shoes. I need makeup. I have sex hair and no underwear.”

Jake tried to stifle his laughter as he agreed, shaking his head. “Ok alright… we’ll run home really quick. But we have to make it fast. Everybody is waiting for us.”

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t wanna look like I’ve just been fucked all day at our engagement party.”

Rolling his eyes he shot you a look, “Y/n, baby… I could rub shit on you and you’d still be the most gorgeous woman in that bar. You look so incredibly beautiful right now. Your hair wild, with no makeup? Are you kidding me? That’s why I did it this way. I wanted your natural beauty to shine through in those proposal pictures.

“Pictures?” You asked confused.

He smiled big, eyes almost closed as he looked at you. “Yep. I had two photographers and a drone out there filming the whole thing. We should get the photos and footage back in a week or two. I can’t wait to see em!”

You shook your head. “You’re so unbelievable. I can’t believe you pulled that whole thing off. I love you so much. You’re amazing. Thank you honey.” You lunged over and kissed him as he drove. “I can’t wait to be your wife!”

“Don’t make me wreck baby… I gotta make you my wife before anything happens to me.”

There it was again. That gut wrenching, stomach flipping, nauseating feeling that there was still something Jake wasn’t telling you.

You were trying to calmly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth so you wouldn’t vomit or pass out. You rolled down the window and let the salty air clear your head.

“Are you ok baby?” Jake looked over at you and took your hand in his, gently squeezing it.

You nodded in response. “Yeah… I’ll be ok. Just felt a little nauseous for a second.”

Jake pulled the truck into the driveway as you bolted inside the house. A few moments later Jake came in to find you splashing some cold water on your face.

“You sure you’re feeling alright Babe?” He rubbed your back as you patted your face dry.

Breathing deep, you smiled. “I’m good!”

“You’re better than good…” Jake winked at you and kissed the top of your shoulder, nuzzling into your hair with his face as his hands started pulling up your almost floor length dress.

Raising your eyebrows at him in the mirror you shimmied your ass against him. He exhaled sharply, “Ohhhh future wifey… what are you doing to me? I’m an animal.”

Reaching back you dropped his trousers and pulled his hips against you as he nestled his perfect cock at your entrance. Thrusting back against him you felt him stretch you as he delved deep inside you. He took slow strokes in and out, it felt so incredible after a day’s worth of love making it was driving you mad. The slightest motion so over exaggerated from an entire day of over stimulation.

“Fuck me Lieutenant… Hurry… before we get caught.” You winked at him.

A low growl escaped his lips as he quickened his pace. You were busy focusing on the giant ring on your hand when Jake pulled your top down exposing your chest. Excitedly he stared at you bent over the bathroom sink. It was probably the fastest that either of you had gotten off. ‘Win win’ you thought.

In record time you fixed your hair, threw on some eyeliner and mascara, some lip gloss, found your brown strappy sandals and were ready to go. When you came trotting down the stairs, looking like a million bucks, Jake was completely surprised at your speed.

He stood up proudly, admiring his gorgeous fiancée. “I am a lucky lucky man…”

You were standing in the foyer doing one last check in the hall mirror when your brain flashed back to the night all those years ago that Logan had proposed to you.

“Darlin I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you… You’re it for me. There will never be a day that I don’t love you… There will never be anyone else. I’ll go to my grave with you on and in my heart.” He pulled open his flannel shirt to display a fresh tattoo. It was a beautiful, picture quality, realistic - artistic, breathtaking tattoo of you, dark hair wild in the wind, whipping around you.

“Oh my god Logan…” you studied it closely.

This was the second tattoo of you that he now had on his body. The first was an exact copy of your lips on his inner left forearm. He had gotten it the night you met. He had bet you at a game of darts and you had lost. The penalty was taking tequila shots with and off of him, and him off of you. To commemorate the momentous occasion he had dragged you to a nearby tattoo shop to have your lips permanently added to his body.

As you were busy checking out your face on your boyfriend’s chest he produced a red ring box.

“Babygirl… be my wife. Marry me. You're the only one for me. Marry me?”

You looked up into his sweet dark ocean eyes. Getting lost in their dark blue hues. A world of wars behind them. With the intensity of the desert sun they burned into you as you registered this was the only time Captain Logan Syverson had ever been nervous in his entire life.

The biggest grin swept across your lips. His giant arms picked you up against him as his lips collided with yours. He almost dropped you trying not to drop the ring scrambling to get the ring on your fingers as fast as possible as if you'd change your mind without it.

At the time it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to you.

“Babe? You ready to go?” Jake kissed your temple pulling you back to reality.

You blinked a few times, trying to clear the memory. “Yep! Let’s go!”

———

As soon as the two of you walked into the bar hand in hand, the entire place erupted in cheers and applause. Penny rang the bell which normally meant someone was going overboard. On this one very special occasion it meant that in honor of the happy couple, bottles of champagne were being popped and poured for everyone.

You made your way back to your usual table where your friends already sat several drinks in.

Rooster was noodling on the piano getting ready to play a roaring rendition of one of his favorite songs.

As the squadron gave you hell for taking so long to get there, Penny rushed over with a polaroid camera asking for a picture to mark the occasion. Jake scooped you up and held you in his arms as you whispered in his ear, “I’m still not wearing any panties.” You planted a kiss on his cheek as his eyes filled with horny surprise. His smile spanned his whole face with the slightest tinge of a blush. Thankfully, wanting to be thorough she took another one of the two of you kissing. That was the picture Penny hung behind the bar. The other was a permanent fixture on Jake’s person from that day on.

It wasn’t much later that the last person you wanted to see came strolling into the bar.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Jake grumbled.

Bob piped up, “I don’t guess he’d stay long if he knew it was your engagement party to his ex-fiancee.”

“Shut up bob.” The entire table said in unison.

Logan marched up to the bar, greeting Penny with a polite hello as he ordered a whiskey. He looked around the place and froze when he saw a sign that said ‘Congrats Y/n & Hangman’ he nodded to it and must have inquired because as soon as she uttered the words his eyes were on you like lasers.

To anyone else watching, he didn’t care. But to you? Someone who knew him probably better than he knew himself, he was heartbroken. He finally broke your stare and gave Penny some cash. He slammed the entire glass of whiskey in one fell swoop and marched outside.

“Jake I love you. I’ll be right back. Don’t hate me. Please. Just let me talk to him.” You jumped up and ran out after Logan.

To be continued….

#romance #fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #henry cavill #glen powell #hangman x reader #hangman fic #hangman smut #jake hangman seresin #hangman fluff #hangman x y/n #cpt syverson #syverson x reader #captain syverson #syverson fanfiction #syverson fic #syverson x you

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vash-the-trans-catboy · 3 years

Text

May I have a dance?

Written for @loganslowdown4

This is good timing to post this for @loginceweek2022 for day three Imagination

Prompt: logince fluff where they find themselves alone and one asks the other to dance spur of the moment

Summary: There is chaos in mind palace and everyone is ignoring Roman and Logan. Roman takes Logan into the Imagination to have a nice day away from the others.

Taglist: @heirm @moons-the-nightmare @lost-in-thought-20 @sanderdarksides (let me know if you want to be added)

Word count: 847

Ao3

This week has been stressful for everyone in the mind palace. Janus and Patton have been at each other’s throats, Remus has been wreaking havoc on anyone who looks at him, Virgil has been having nothing but panic attacks, and everyone pretends Logan and Roman do not exist.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM.” A distant scream is heard from Janus’ room, a slamming of his door follows.

Logan presses his head deeper into the book he’s trying to concentrate on and sighs.

“Long week, huh?” A sweet yet tired voice speaks behind him.

“That’s a bit of an understatement but yes it has been quite long.” Logan looks up at Roman with his beautiful sad eyes. Roman can’t stand when his love is sad.

“Has any of the others tried talking to you recently?”

“You have been the only one for the past 5 days that has said more than ‘get out of my way Logan’” Roman’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

“I’m sorry Lolo. It isn’t been much better than me. Virgil told me to go away yesterday but except for that just silence and death glares.” Roman takes Logan’s hand in his own and gently pulls off the couch, “What if we got out of here for a little bit?”

Logan’s gaze turns to more confused instead of sad, “We are metaphysical sides. It is physically impossible for us to leave Thomas’ head or travel somewhere where Thomas or the other sides are not.”

Roman lightly laughs, “You are overthinking this Logan. We can spend the day in my realm of the Imagination.”

“Oh. I must have forgotten that was an option.” Logan said hoping it wouldn’t upset Roman.

“Come on, Lo! We can have a perfect and peaceful day in the Imagination.” Roman bounces in excitement for his idea and drags Logan behind him to his room.

On his dresser, Roman types in a code to open the box with the key to the Imagination. Logan glances at the code. Did he see that right? The numbers formed his birthday. A light and fluttery feeling of joy washes over Logan. “You’re perfect day awaits ahead, my love.” Roman holds the door open for Logan, like a prince would, after Logan steps into his realm Roman locks the door behind them.

Snap. A bubble of magic surrounds all of Roman’s realm then disappears into a cloud of red smoke.

“What was that?” Logan watches in awe as the red smoke dissipates.

“Just in case, to protect us. Nothing can get it or out of my realm until I take down the force field. I don’t need a rat ruining our time here.” Roman guides Logan into the part of the Imagination he designed just for today.

The weather is perfect and the artificial sun shines down on them. The temperature is a perfect 60 degrees with not a cloud in the sky. Surrounding them is miles and miles of red and blue geraniums, Logan’s favorite flower. In the center of the beds of flowers sits a beautiful white gazebo covered in rose vines.

“This is lovely, Roman.” Logan’s eyes sparkle, the sadness is nowhere to be seen anymore.

“This is just the beginning. I promised you a wonderful day and I am here to deliver on that.” Snap. Magic flutters around the two of them, “We need formal outfits for today.”

Roman’s outfit changes into a knee-length red dress with a corset back and a wavy skirt. His shoes change to four-inch white heels. Logan’s outfit changes into a gorgeous navy tux with a bow tie covered in mini-book designs and dress shoes.

“You look so handsome.” Roman pushes a stray hair behind Logan’s glasses. Logan tries to contain his blush.

“You are very pretty. The dress and heels suit you well.” Logan looks like he is floating in the clouds, “Was four inches really necessary?”

Roman chuckles, “You know I’ll take every opportunity I can get to be taller than you.” He leads them to the center of the gazebo and reaches out his hand to Logan, “May I have a dance?”

“Of course, you may.” Roman snaps his fingers and a vintage record player appears in the corner of the gazebo. Elvira Madigan by Mozart plays softly in the background as they begin to dance.

“Follow my lead.” Roman leads Logan step by step in the waltz. “You are a lovely dancer, darling.”

“Well, it takes a great partner to be this good.” Roman lets go of one of Logan’s hands and gently spins him.

Roman hums along with the music, “Has this day cheered you up?”

“It has. Thank you, Roman.” Logan gives a grateful smile to his boyfriend as Roman dips him over his arm. Roman leans in and stops right before Logan’s lips.

“May I?” He whispers to Logan

“You may.” Roman closes the gap and passionately kisses for a moment before pulling away, “This day has been perfect.”

They slow dance for the rest of the evening until the sun starts to set in the Imagination.

#ts logince #logince #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #ts logan #thegayemo #ts fanfic #thegayemo writing #loginceweek2022

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mrs-gucci · 3 years

Text

Clyde’s Pinup Girl, Part Two {Clyde Logan x Reader}

author’s notes: helloooo! here’s part two of “Clyde’s Pinup Girl”. here’s the link to PART ONE if you haven’t read it yet. this is honestly one of my favorite pieces that I’ve written, not to toot my own horn or anything lol. I’m a sucker for some good ol’ Clyde, but aren’t we all?

warnings: clyde calling his girl “pumpkin”™️. fluff. smut. light degradation (mainly in the form of name-calling). roleplay (a kinda combo of boss/employee & maid/boss).

word count: 1.9k

Clyde’s Birthday, Three Months Later

“Uh huh.”

Clyde says.

“Mellie, can’t this wait until tomorra, or can someone else handle it? It’s ma first day off in months, an ma birthday.”

You smile from across the table.

He sighs.

“Alright, I’ll be there in ten.”

“Is everything alright, baby?”

He huffs, frowning as he stands up.

“Mellie jus’ called, said there’s somethin’ goin’ on at the bar, and they need me.”

“Aww, baby…”

You pretend to look sad, but in reality, you know exactly what’s going on. You asked Mellie to call Clyde and get him to the bar so that you could prepare the little birthday surprise that you had in store for him.

“I’m sorry. It’ll probably be quick.”

His lips connected to yours for a moment before he threw on his coat and grabbed his car keys.

“I hope so. I’ll give ye a call when I’m on ma way home. I love ye.”

“I love you too, baby. Come back soon.”

You wave as he walks out the door, smirking to yourself. Your plan was working perfectly.

Mellie calls me shortly after Clyde leaves.

“Hey, is he on his way?”

“Yup, he left like 2 or 3 minutes ago.”

“Alright, we’ll keep ‘im distracted for a lil bit while you get ready.”

You smile.

“Thanks a bunch, Mell.”

“Anything for you, sweetie. He’s gonna love whatever ye’ve got planned, I know it. See ya soon.”

We hang up and you quickly rush upstairs, grabbing the box from the top shelf of the guest bedroom. You’ve been planning this moment since you found the book of pinup girls from Clyde’s high school bedroom.

There’s this one pinup girl in the book that looks a lot like you, and in the picture, she was sweeping the floor while wearing a sexy maid’s outfit. Jimmy let you borrow a broom and you bought a sexy maid’s outfit that looks almost identical to the one in the photo.

You put the costume on and do your makeup, making sure to study the photo closely, doing your makeup just like the pinup girl.

Suddenly, your phone begins vibrating. It’s Clyde.

“Hey, baby. Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah, I’m ‘bout five minutes out.”

You nod.

“Okay, see you soon. Love you.”

“Love ya.”

He hangs up and you jump up from the vanity.

You slip on the pair of black heels you borrowed from a friend at work, grabbing the broom before rushing down the stairs, positioning yourself in the living room.

After a bit of adjusting, the door opens, and you quickly still yourself. You begin sweeping softly as you hear Clyde hang up his coat on the rack and throw his keys into the bowl by the front door.

“Pumpkin? Ye down here?”

“Living room!”

His footsteps creak the floorboards as he walks into the kitchen, washing his hands without looking over.

“I can’t believe they called me out there to fix a fuckin’--”

He freezes when he looks at you.

You smile sweetly as you sweep casually.

“Is something the matter, Mr. Logan?”

“O-Oh, god…”

Clyde’s eyes rake over your figure, fists clenching as his sides as a bulge begins pressing against the denim fabric of his jeans.

“No, ma’am, my apologies. Ye jus’ keep goin’.”

You bite your lip, sweeping more. Suddenly, his large hands grab your hips and pull you back against his front, growling in your ear when your ass pressed against his growing erection.

“Y’know, something is the matter, miss. Ye keep wearin’ these slutty lil uniforms an’ it’s gettin’ harder and harder fer me to control myself.”

You shudder.

“I’m s-sorry, sir, I didn’t know...”

“Yer not sorry.”

He smirks

“Ye want me to see ye, want me te lose control, ain’t that right?”

You nod, letting out a shaky breath.

“I just can’t help myself around you, Mr. Logan. You’re so sexy.”

“Dirty girl,”

Clyde growls, rolling his hips against your backside.

“Ye want yer boss te bend ye over the kitchen table and split yer lil cunt open with his big cock, hm? Is that what ye want, Y/N?”

Your legs spread instinctively and you push back against him, desperate for any kind of friction.

You nod quickly.

“P-Please, I want it so badly.”

He smirks, licking at your neck.

“Finish sweepin’ an’ then I’ll fuck ye. Until then…”

His hand wraps around your leg, fingers teasing the crotch of your panties.

“I’m jus’ gon’ get ye nice n’ wet n’ ready fer me.”

You jump in his hold, gasping at the way his fingers feel pressed against your panties, so close to where you really need them. You grind down, trying to get him to move them, but he just chuckles in your ear.

“Yer not sweepin’ like I asked, so yer jus’ makin’ this harder fer yerself, darlin’.”

You groan in agony, moving the broom against the floor, pausing with each rub on your clothed folds.

“Good girl, that’s a good girl.”

He purrs in your ear, rubbing you a little harder.

“Jesus, yer soaked. So wet fer me already, hmm?”

“Y-Yes,”

You breathe, bucking against him.

“All f-for you.”

“That’s right, darlin’. This,”

His palm presses against your center as he cups it.

“It’s mine. You hear me? This lil pussy’s mine whenever I want it.”

You nod, panting as you grind on his palm.

“Fuck, I’m close.”

Clyde digs his chin into your shoulder, cock rutting against your lower back.

“Oh yeah? Desperate lil slut’s gonna cum all over my hand? Can’t even wait fer m’ cock…what a shame...”

You’re all whimpers and gasps and moans as your climax builds, soon teetering on the edge of release.

“Yer gonna hav’ta cum on my fuckin’ cock t’nite if ye wanna cum at all.”

He grows, suddenly pulling his hand away and wrapping an arm around you, picking you up and rushing both of you into the kitchen.

“Bend yer slutty lil ass over the counter n’ spread yer fuckin’ legs.”

You quickly do as he asks, hips pushing back to try and get some more friction. He suddenly smacks your ass hard, fingers digging into your hips, holding them still.

“Be patient or I’ll jus’ leave ye here like this.”

A strangled cry leaves your lips and you steady yourself, trying your hardest not to move as he undoes his belt and pants, pulling them down.

You barely even process his hands grabbing the crotch of your panties, tearing the fabric in half within seconds of trying. You look back at him, insides clenching when you see his big thick cock standing straight at attention.

There’s already a small bead of pearly precum forming at the tip and Clyde groans as he gives himself a few good pumps. He steps forward and rubs his tip along your slick folds before lining himself up with your soaked entrance, hand spread across your upper back.

He pushes in gently, knowing that even after years of being intimate, you still need some time to adjust to his size. His weight on your chest as he presses on your upper back to steady himself. It makes it harder for you to breathe, but you don’t care, managing a soft moan anyways.

“Ohhhh.”

Clyde stays still, cock twitching inside of you as your walls stretch around him, and as soon as you look back and nod up at him, his hips quickly set a steady and deep thrusting rhythm. He lets out a long, low moan, his hand on your back moving down to your hip.

He rests his forehead on your shoulder as he drills into you, hot breath forming goosebumps on your skin.

“S-So fuckin’ good, so t-tight fer me. Does it feel good, lil slut?”

You nod, biting your lip, breaths turned to whimpers.

“Yes, oh f-fuck yes, you’re s-so big Clyde.”

“Yeah? Ye like my big cock poundin’ yer lil cunt?”

Your cheek presses against the wooden tabletop, stretching back and forth with each of his thrusts.

“I l-like it, so m-much, you f-feel amazing.”

He growls, suddenly fucking you harder, table beginning to slide against the floor with the power of his hips.

“I knew ye would, d-darlin’. From the minute ye showed up te work that first day, in yer slutty uniform w-with that s-short lil--f-fuck--skirt, I knew ye’d want it like t-this, want m’ cock buried d-deep inside ya.”

“God, fuck...p-please!”

You moan.

“Please, C-Clyde, f-fuck me harder! Oh s-shit, I’m so close!”

Clyde feels your walls begin to clench rhythmically around his length, a sure sign that you’re close to your release. He grabs your inner thigh and puts your leg up on the table, allowing him to hit a deeper angle inside of you.

“Jesus Christ, darlin’, ye got even t-tighter. C’mon, cum around y-yer bosses big f-fat fuckin’ cock!”

He smacks your ass hard, which sends you right over the edge, crying out as you cum around him. Your juices leak out and coat his cock while he keeps fucking you through it, grunting each time your insides spasm.

“F-Fuck, I’m gon’ turn ye around now. Wanna see them d-delicious tits bouncin’ as I fuck ye, wanna see yer f-face when I make ye cum again.”

You eagerly let him flip you around so that you’re now laying back on the table, hips right at the edge. Clyde holds your legs apart as he picks up his brutal thrusting rhythm again, looking down as the tears run down your cheeks.

It took a long time for him not to stop and ask if you were alright when he saw you crying during sex, but he finally no longer stops. Actually, he just starts fucking you harder, something awakening within him.

“Lil fuckin’ slut’s c-cryin’ on m’ cock she l-loves it so m-much, fuck! T-Tell me that ye l-like m’ cock, darlin’, tell me I’m t-the best ye’ve e-ever had!”

He growls, spreading your legs apart even further, cock now rubbing up against that special spot inside you.

“That’s i-it, there it is. C-C’mon, tell me! Say i-it!

Your back arches and you let out a choked sob, so overwhelmed with pleasure and sensitivity from your last orgasm.

“F-Fuck, Clyde! You’re t-the best I’ve ever h-had, you f-fuck me so good! I l-love your b-big f-fat fucking c-cock splitting m-me in h-half! Ah, ah, oh s-shit, I’m gonna--AH!”

You all-but-scream, hips jerking uncontrollably and walls gripping as you cum with an intensity unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

“C-Clyde! Clyde! Fuck, please! You g-gotta cum, please, c-can’t take m-much more…”

You trail off, using every last bit of energy to squeeze his length as hard and as tight as you can.

His eyes go wide and his hips suddenly stop, buried deep inside of you. He groans loudly as he releases, falling on top of you as his hips rut, shoving all of his cum deep in you.

“Nghhh...a-ah...take it…gon’ f-fill this lil c-cunt...”

You kiss his throat, hand reaching up to run through his hair as you see tears swelling in his eyes. Sometimes his climax is so intense, he needs a grounding mechanism, and you’ve learned that the best way to help is by running your hands through his hair.

Soon, he relaxes, burying his face in the crook of your neck as his cock softens inside of you. His lips leave wet kisses on your neck and his nose nuzzles against your skin.

“T-Thank ye,”

He whispers into your skin.

“Thank ye s-so much.”

You smile, massaging his scalp gently with your fingernails.

“Happy birthday, Clyde.”

#adamdriverwriter #adam driver #adam driver character #adam driver smut #adam driver fluff #clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x female reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan x reader smut #clyde logan x reader fluff #clyde logan x you smut #clyde & pumpkin au

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delimeful · 4 years

Text

the shapes in the silence (12)

warnings: dissociation, fighting, mild blood & injury, panic, another hopefully less bad cliffhanger

Puff woke up to a gentle hand down his back ridges, his hoard chattering above him, and an odd, high pitched note on the edge of his hearing.

His ears twitched in agitation at the noise, but his hoard took priority, so he took a moment to stretch before finally tuning into the conversation.

The three of them were arguing about another one of their screen viewings, trying to decide which one of their little stories to play. Each of them seemed to treasure very specific titles with passionate reverence, but for Puff couldn’t tell the difference between most of them. The screen was always too bright for his eyes to focus on for long, and the sounds often too loud.

As such, when the decision was left up to him, he simply stared at them blankly for a moment before settling back into a curled up shape to continue dozing.

There was a pause in the chatter (making the strange noise seem all the louder) and then they continued speaking in much more muted tones, indicating discomfort and uncertainty. Puff felt a twinge of discontent run through him and sighed grumpily.

This was the problem with a human-shaped hoard. They were so difficult to maintain.

Not that Puff would trade his hoard for all the shining things in the world. Each of them on their own were more valuable than any number of treasures combined. Every dragon probably felt that way about their hoard, but in his case it was true.

He let his eyes slit open, peering at the nearest of his collection.

Roman, who carried the smell of pigments and an appreciation for the finer things himself, was like a golden gauntlet. Ornate but handcrafted, painstaking care in every detail, and dripping with rubies.

Logan, who needed his hands occupied just as well as his mind, was like an illuminated manuscript. Pages draped in silver leaf edging, needing such a delicate touch to keep the ink from wearing away.

Patton, who watched them all with keen eyes and a warm gaze, was like a polished wooden music box. Inside, rose-colored clockwork met precisely placed metal prongs, together producing the notes to a nostalgic tune.

They were so precious, all of them, but never more than when they were shining their brightest with joy and contentment.

Puff was having a hard time making them happy, lately. Without Not-Puff, it was much harder to figure out which actions would keep his hoard from becoming dull with misery. His tail thrashed irritably as he once again felt the absence in himself.

Despite his constant presence as a part of their shared being, Not-Puff was assuredly not part of the hoard. He was like a rusty, chipped butterfly knife. All double edges and caked dirt from lack of care. Barely even worth looking at.

Still, Not-Puff was better at understanding which choices would make the hoard happy, which meant he was useful to have around. Puff mentally prodded at the barrier aiding in keeping the other half of him tucked quietly away, but there was no response. As the days passed, he’d only stirred when one of the hoard did something dangerous-stupid that went against all of their shared protective instincts, and even then, only barely.

It made Puff think that he didn’t plan on coming back.

It wasn’t like Not-Puff was a dragon, so maybe he simply didn’t care as much about the hoard. And even if he was gone for good, what did Puff care? That just meant more room for him in the empty, echoing space of their mind.

… Whatever.

Puff rolled over and got to his feet, stretching his wings out until they threatened to cramp. How irritating, thoughts like this keeping him up when all he wanted to do was take a nap.

If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well investigate the source of the noise.

He leapt easily to the floor, his hoard having already picked a glow story to watch in subdued silence. Patton called out a parting caution, and then Puff was off, trotting over to the stairs.

He passed Not-Puff’s room with barely a glance down the darkened hall. It was empty, obviously, though most of his hoard didn’t seem to realize. Logan and Patton often stood at the threshold, knocking and trying to coax Not-Puff out with sweet foods or concerned words, and while Roman generally avoided it, Puff had caught him staring more than once.

No matter what they tried or didn’t try, it remained locked up, silent and dark inside. Just like its former resident.

Puff could still get in, though he refrained from using the small flap-like door when others were watching. It wouldn’t do to make his hoard feel excluded, after all.

His dagger, the obsidian one with the gilded edges and honeyed words, could get inside, too.

His dagger-- Puff couldn’t quite recall the false name he used-- spent a lot of his time locked in that room, which was a bit foolish of him. It couldn’t be pleasant. Even Puff could feel the stagnant, fearful aura that lingered there, and dragons weren’t known for being affected by such things.

Not-Puff had complex, many-edged feelings towards their dagger, but it didn’t really matter, because Not-Puff had complex feelings about all of the hoard. He was a strange one like that.

In any case, it didn’t stop Puff from occasionally tromping off to go curl up in his dagger’s lap, letting the silly creature talk at him. He always talked when Puff came to bask with him, trying to coax Not-Puff out with lies and threats and even apologies that made his voice crack.

None of it ever worked.

He wasn’t in Not-Puff’s room now, though. Puff felt around curiously, and found his dagger was out in the real world, playing pretend.

He did that more and more often these days, dressing up to masquerade as Not-Puff for their Thomas. It was a strange practice. Puff much preferred his dagger as himself, all shining scales and black velvet.

Thomas was the crown of their little hoard, of course. It only made sense.

The odd tone grew in intensity, and Puff shook off his distractions, ears flattening against his skull. He could curl up with his hoard later, once this irritating buzzing was-- as Roman would say-- vanquished.

He passed the doors in the hall one after another, listening carefully at each one. After such a thorough inspection, the answer became clear.

Puff studied the portal-like entrance to the imagination, head tilting back and forth as he listened carefully to the noise. Not-Puff’s fear of this realm had kept Puff from wandering into it alone up until now, but the painful buzzing was definitely coming from it.

It was Not-Puff’s own fault for not being around to stop him, he decided, and stepped through.

As Puff trotted down cobblestone paths and dirt roads after the sound, it only seemed to grow more and more intense, enough so that he had to stop a few times to shake his head agitatedly, trying to get rid of the ringing headache.

At least those irritating shadow projections Not-Puff spawned weren’t present. The woven thread around his neck seemed to do well enough preventing them, which was good, because Puff wasn’t in the mood to go scampering around avoiding the trifling things. Not when there were noises to attend to.

“So it worked, after all.”

The strange, lilting voice made him spin around, wings flaring defensively.

Up in the twisting boughs of an old oak, the stranger cocked their head, bird-like. “I wasn’t sure it would,” they continued. “You’re a strange one, aren’t you?”

They tossed a hollow stone in their hand, the strange noise emanating from it. The scales along their cloak rattled with every movement, and Puff’s hackles rose in response. He remembered them. The Witch that tried to turn him against his own hoard.

“Now, don’t be rude. I’ve skinned beasts much larger than you with barely a snap of the fingers, you know.” They slid down to the ground, and Puff skittered back a few steps. “Halt.”

The compulsion took root firmly in him, keeping his feet glued to the ground. He hissed viciously, furious that their magic had such a hold on him. They sauntered closer and dropped to a squat.

“So my thrall does affect you… perhaps before was a one-off? I suppose it’s still interesting enough that you somehow keep your mind.” The eyes of their mask were dark and hollow, sending a chill down Puff’s spine even as he continued to growl viciously. “Quiet, now. Keep your mouth shut.”

His teeth clacked together painfully as his mouth snapped shut, leaving an impotent glare as his only form of defense.

“Perfect,” they said, and plucked him up from the ground, calming his struggles with another pulse of magic and a hand down his spine. “His Royal Irritation has been rearing for fight after fight lately, so it’ll be nice to finally have some leverage on my side.”

A chill spread through him.

“How long do you think it will take for him to find you?” they mused, tone light and mocking as they continued to run their hand along his spine possessively. “Days? Weeks? I certainly hope I’ll have enough time to prepare for company.”

Puff felt as though the metal cuff around his leg had grown suddenly heavy. He had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't take them nearly as long as he might hope, not when his hoard had grown so used to having him constantly nearby. Not when there was a tracker to lead them right into the Witch’s trap.

“Don’t fret, little dragon,” they crooned, tapping a finger between his eyes. “Sleep. I’ll wake you for the fun.”

Unable to do anything else, he obeyed.

When he woke, it was on the floor of an ornate birdcage, with magic thick in the air.

He uncurled, limbs weak, and pushed himself up to see that not one, but three of his hoard were before him, standing there in the grand hall of an ancient castle, facing off with the Witch.

The sight sent a thrum of alarm through him. The three of them didn’t enter the Imagination together often, and the effects of their combined presence made the place feel more real, more lasting.

Seeing the way they were back to back, surrounded by vicious constructed monsters, that wasn’t a good thing. That was a very, very bad thing indeed.

Even from his position next to the Witch’s throne, he could make out the cut on Roman’s forehead that continued to drip blood into his eyes, the way Logan leaned his weight heavily on one foot as though injured, the exhausted shaking of Patton’s frame as he tossed away a monster at Roman’s back.

More than that, he could feel the strain of his mental connection to his hoard, the urge to keep them from harm nearly all-consuming. They were his, and he would not stand idly by while they suffered.

For the first time in weeks, there was a stirring inside of Puff, like a billowing of air on banked coals. A white-hot glow, expanding with nowhere to go.

A gloved hand flicked the bars of the cage, bringing all his furious attention to the Witch. Their invisible gaze rested intently on him, making his scales prickle.

“Enjoying the show, small one?”

If looks could kill, this battle would be long over. The Witch laughed lowly at him.

“You look at me so fiercely, but this wouldn’t have been possible without you, you know?” They turned their gaze back to the battle with a darkly satisfied tint to their voice. “All three of them, right here in the palm of my hand for the sake of such a tiny, helpless creature. I’d almost think there’s something genuinely special about you. Too bad you probably won’t survive the heartbreak when I kill them.”

The snarl Puff let out seemed too small, too weak to even begin to express the amount of vitriol inside of him. The Witch didn’t even glance at him before rising to their feet to join the battle themself. His body trembled oddly.

He was afraid, he realized with a startle. He was more afraid than he’d ever been before.

That internal stir rose up again at the emotion, but it still felt as though a wall of thick mental fog separated Puff from it, like reaching through a haze. Bracing himself, he pushed past it anyways, dizzy with the effort.

For the first time since they’d been separated, Not-Puff was reaching back. Puff hesitated for the barest of moments.

If they did this. There would be consequences.

If they didn’t do this…

Nothing could be worse than losing them, one of them answered, and the other agreed. Which one was which didn’t really matter, in the end.

He took the anger and the fear that bubbled up inside of him and let them grow, welling up into one singular drive to protect. And, as the empty space around him seemed to vanish, he realized that he was growing, too.

The bracelet was the first thing to go, the connecting thread snapping at the pressure of his changing form. The tracer cuff followed easily, metal crumpling, and then the bars of the birdcage bent until they snapped, and then he was free of every restraint at last.

Virgil half-expected to come back to a human shape at that very moment, but Puff was still more than present in their mind, and as much as he loved their humans, there was clearly a superior option to better keep them all safe.

He flickered up like the flame tongues of a rising bonfire, or a bolt of energy connecting the earth and heavens, until he was big enough that his wings spread and met the adjacent walls of the throne chamber.

Every eye in the room was upon him, and when he growled, it was like the rolling crashes of a thunderstorm. Some of the monsters cowered away from that alone, turning tail and fleeing.

The Witch looked up at him and cackled, exuberant where they should be terrified.

“I knew there was something there, something different! You may have changed shape, little dragon, but my thrall isn’t so weak as to be influenced by size. You’ve only made your hoard’s end that much easier for me!”

Virgil could see the three of them behind the Witch, crowded together and staring up at him with equal parts apprehension and hope. His hoard wouldn’t be hurt a single moment longer. Not by the Dragon Witch, and certainly not by him.

The Witch lifted their arm and snapped their finger at him.

“Stop all that noise, little dragon,” they commanded, and the compulsive magic washed over him and rolled right off.

Slowly, deliberately, he took a step forward, and his growl rose in volume, echoing off the vaulted ceiling.

There was a heady feeling of satisfaction at the way the Witch stumbled back, the mask barely hiding their shock. “I said stop, right now.”

The magic passed, easier and easier to ignore. The Witch would never control this body again, no matter what form it took.

With a howl of wordless anger, they vanished from sight, and all the monsters that remained turned to him with aggression writ in every line of their bodies. An unfamiliar sensation welled up in his chest, waiting to be released.

Might as well see what this familiar-unfamiliar form could manage.

Working off Puff’s instincts, Virgil opened his mouth and let something click in the back of his throat before exhaling what looked like thick, rolling smoke. It filled the air, clumping together dense and heavy, and Virgil blinked, recognizing the form of it.

Huh. Storm clouds.

In the next moment, lightning sparked, shooting down and lancing straight through every attacking creature. Virgil darted a few steps closer, somewhat alarmed that friendly fire might hit the others, but even as they hunched down in surprise, any electricity that neared them seemed to simply veer away.

Of course it did, the more draconic part of him crowed smugly. No magic of his would hurt his hoard.

He went to his humans anyhow, moving slow so as to not startle them. He was the oversized one, now.

He needn’t have worried. As soon as he lowered his head into range, Patton lunged forward, wrapping his snout in the best hug he could manage. He was clearly sniffing back tears. “Oh, kiddo, we were so worried!”

Roman was attempting to casually lean on his sword, but there was clear relief in his gaze, too. “We should have known better than to believe the Dragon Witch would get the better of you, huh, Puff?”

Virgil huffed a cloud of colorless vapor into Roman’s face. Affectionately.

“We should celebrate our reunion later, once we’re safely out of here,” Logan pointed out over Roman’s faux-indignant complaints.

Despite his own words, Logan took a moment to reach out, gently placing a hand on the side of Virgil’s head as though to reassure himself that he was real. Virgil leaned into the touch slightly, an odd pleased chur bubbling up from his chest.

As his eyes slitted nearly shut in happiness, he caught movement from the corner of his vision.

The Witch, holding one hand aloft and casting something that made his skin prickle, aiming not at him, but at the other Sides.

Quicker than he could think, his body was moving, curling around his precious people with only a second to brace himself before the attack struck him solidly in the back.

It seemed a simple strike at first, barely breaking skin, and he regained his footing as the others rose to his defense with a ferocity that made his chest feel strangely pressurized. Between the three of them, the Witch was more than outmatched, and they were finally forced to flee.

It was only then that Virgil noticed the feeling of rot and fever spreading along his skin.

He stumbled, and then lay down heavily as his energy dipped well below what was sustainable. The others fluttered around him like moths, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Virgil let out a sigh, almost too exhausted to be panicked. He’d really thought for a moment that he’d pull it off, that he could deal with the backlash of the huge, energy-draining form on his own in private and maintain this fragile balance. So much for that.

On his next exhale, there was a flash-crack as the transformation came crashing back down on him, leaving him snapped back into the form he’d abandoned. Anxiety.

Around him, there was a stunned silence to replace the earlier clamor. He forced himself to blink his eyes open, resisting the urge to squint and see them more clearly. He didn’t really want to see what kinds of expressions they were wearing.

Whatever the Witch had cursed him with was still active, burning him up from the inside-out like the awful fever Thomas had gotten when he was ten. If the others weren’t going to take the opportunity to discorporate him, the poisoned injury would manage just fine on its own. And he’d just gotten back, too.

At least the others weren’t in danger anymore. Hopefully, Thomas would be okay until he reformed.

… Who was he kidding? Thomas had managed fine all these days with him gone. He would probably be better off without Anxiety, just like everyone had always said.

Still, he was leaving the others without being punished for the deception he’d been subjecting them all to for so long. He was leaving them without any real answers at all.

“Sorry,” he managed to grit out, barely able to think past the blood rushing in his ears. It seemed to break the fragile silence, because the others all began speaking at once, creating an indecipherable tangle of noise.

Soundlessly, Virgil passed out.

#sanders sides #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #tsits #tiny dragon virgil #the shapes in the silence #writing #my writing #i have been informed that this is not a better cliffhanger #oops.#:)#g/t

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eliemo · 4 years

Text

The Incident- Part 2

Summary: Sometimes, it’s dangerously easy to spiral...but Virgil’s family isn’t going anywhere.

TW: Blood and injury treatment (nothing too graphic but stay safe), panic attacks, mentions of flashbacks, past abuse

Masterpost

Taglist: @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @mygenderisidiot @a-very-gay-raccoon @dawnfire7 @cr4zyart @ray-does-stuff @whydoifeeltheneedtoorganizestuff @bunny222 (If i missed someone or u wanna be added just let me know!)

Roman didn’t get back until after dinner, the sun setting with brilliant orange light in the windows, still far too hopped up on adrenaline and brimming with new ideas to even think about eating yet.

He was sprawled out on the couch with his feet in Logan's lap, despite the logical side’s halfhearted protests, lamenting about his recent adventures and the inspiration they’d brought for the newest script.

Logan was pretending not to be listening, but Roman caught sight of an almost invisible smile, pride blossoming in his chest as he continued.

Virgil hadn’t come down in a few hours at least, apparently locking himself in his room due to a stomach ache earlier in the afternoon, and Patton’s worry had finally taken over, the moral side heading into the kitchen to heat up a plate of leftovers to take upstairs.

“Make sure to get him some water, too,” Logan called after him, momentarily silencing Roman’s tale. “He needs to stay hydrated.”

For a few moments, nothing changed, Roman falling back into his story, Logan’s attention switching from the creative side to the open book in his lap, the prince’s voice easily drowning out the hum of the microwave in the next room.

“Logan?” Patton called suddenly. “Did you...you didn’t break a cup or something today, did you?”

Logan froze, looking up from his book to meet Roman’s suddenly worried gaze, the living room plunged into an uneasy silence.

“No,” he answered carefully, slowly pushing Roman’s legs off of him. “Why?”

A beat of silence, followed by a bit of shuffling. “There’s a lot of glass in the trash...and I don’t--”

Roman was already off the couch before Patton yelped, the creative side racing into the kitchen and nearly crashing right into Patton, who’d been rushing for the living room.

“There’s blood,” he said, before anyone could ask any questions. “There- there’s blood...a lot of blood on the glass in- in the trash can I...Virgil, I- I didn’t realize he was--”

“Try to remain calm,” Logan said, already making his way towards the stairs. Patton grabbed Roman’s hand, the two following close behind. “We don’t know what happened yet.”

They made it to Virgil’s room, the door closed and the room seemingly quiet, and Roman stepped back to allow Patton to knock, well aware his own presence could possibly be overwhelming.

“Virgil?” Patton called, unable to keep the slight nervous tremble out of his voice. “Can we come in, kiddo?”

There was no reply, no sound from the other side of the door, and Roman didn’t miss the way Logan’s frown deepened at the lack of a response.

“We aren’t mad, baby,” Patton added, hand hovering over the doorknob. “We just wanna make sure you’re not hurt.”

After a moment of silence and an encouraging nod from Logan, Patton pushed open the thankfully unlocked door, (Roman had been more than ready to kick it down if he had to) freezing in his tracks as soon as he stepped inside.

Peering over the moral side’s shoulder, Roman could see why.

Virgil’s room was empty, bed still made and lights off, everything almost eerily still and silent. The bathroom was just as empty, the lights off and the door left ajar.

Patton whirled around, eyes wide and already filling with terrified tears. “Logan--”

“Both of you remain calm,” Logan instructed, like he wasn’t obviously seconds away from losing it himself. “Patton, come with me downstairs.”

“But he--”

“I need to get the first-aid kit,” he said. “Roman, will you keep looking up here? If we can’t find him, we’ll go to Thomas.”

It was fine. It was probably fine. Virgil’s room was likely just amplifying their stress, and making them all freak out for no reason. They’d find him, and he’d pretend to be annoyed at all the attention and worry, but Roman wouldn’t be able to help pointing out the anxious side’s rising blush.

That was how it always was.

Roman double checked Virgil’s room as the others made their way back downstairs, just to be safe, frantically checking under the bed and behind the shower curtain, all too aware of Virgil's habit of finding strange places to nap or zone out to music.

But the room was vacant, abandoned, and Roman couldn’t escape out into the hall fast enough, carefully shutting the door behind him.

Unwittingly, his mind traveled back to the last time they couldn’t find Virgil. When he’d tried to disappear, duck out for good, all because Roman never bothered to offer him a shred of kindness, none of them caring enough to see just how badly he was hurting--

He almost didn’t hear it, so caught up in his own thoughts and panic, but the tiny, choking sound from the closet at the end of the hall snapped him out of his own head.

“Virgil?” Roman called, heart sinking when there wasn’t a reply. “You over there, Hot Topic?”

His only answer was faint, labored breathing, barely audible, and Roman quickened his pace, taking a shaky breath before pulling open the closet door.

The first thing he saw was Virgil, huddled up in his usual patchwork hoodie, pressed tight into the closet’s limited space.

The initial relief at finding the other side safe quickly vanished when Roman took a step closer, dread clawing at his throat as he took in the sight.

Virgil had curled up into a tight ball, visibly trembling, eyes only half open and staring ahead at nothing, his gaze distant and glassy. His hands were pressed over his ears, and running down his arms…

Oh, god. That...that was a lot of blood.

“Virgil! Virgil, can you hear me?”

If Roman was a bit more put together at the moment, he would have moved slower or gone to get Patton or Logan to coax the anxious side out of his hiding place.

But all he could see was the blood- the fact that Virgil was hurt and Roman needed to help. He couldn’t afford to wait.

Carefully, he dropped to one knee and reached forward, placing a gentle hand on Virgil’s leg.

The reaction was immediate, Virgil jolting under the touch pressing back even further against the wall, bloody and cut up hands held up like he was trying to protect himself.

His eyes met Roman’s, growing wide in genuine terror, and the prince felt his heart break at the sight.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil was saying before Roman even had a chance to open his mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry--”

“It’s alright,” Roman tried, doubting Virgil even heard. “But you’re bleeding, Virge. We gotta take care of that, ok? Logan can’t patch you up until you come out.”

Virgil shook his head, frantic. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to break it, it- it was an accident I swear, I tried to- tried to clean it up, I thought--”

Roman swore under his breath, glancing at the still empty hallway behind him. He knew he shouldn’t ever rush an attack like this, well aware Virgil was terrified and unable to think clearly but…

But aside from the bloody gashes across his palms and fingers, Roman could see a few smaller pieces of glass still wedged in the broken skin. He’d had those wounds for a few hours now at least. They didn’t have time.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment. “You’ll be alright.”

And then, without giving Virgil a chance to process the movement, Roman cupped one hand under Virgil’s legs, the other around his back, and lifted him off the floor, holding him to his chest.

He wasn’t sure what he’d thought would happen, but he certainly hadn’t expected Virgil to scream and flail like Roman had come at him with a weapon.

“Please don’t please,” he was begging, breaths quickly dissolving into frantic wheezes. “I’m sorry I hid I...I- I didn’t mean to lie I just thought...I thought…”

They were both talking in circles, desperately apologizing over each other, Roman holding him tighter as he made his way down the hall, Virgil fighting blindly to break from Roman’s hold.

“Virgil!”

Patton was bounding up the stairs first, hand over his mouth and tears in his eyes when he made it to the top step, Logan hot on his heels.

“Roman, what are you--”

“He’s bleeding, Logan!” Virgil was burying his head in Roman’s chest, even as he fought to escape, refusing to even glance at the others. “I didn’t...I don’t know what to--”

“Bring him into the bathroom,” Logan said, pushing past Patton, first-aid kit in his hand. “Hurry.”

Roman followed, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile to Patton, who was trying to comfort Virgil with words that clearly weren’t getting through.

“Sit him on the counter,” Logan instructed, turning on the sink and setting the metal box down on the closed toilet seat. “Try to keep him calm.”

That was easier said than done. As soon as Virgil lifted his head from Roman’s chest his fighting increased tenfold, thrashing and crying and begging as Roman and Patton struggled to keep him still.

What did he think they were trying to do to him?

“Roman,” Logan said, running a clean towel under the faucet. “I need you to get behind him and hold him still. Patton, keep him from kicking please.”

Patton blinked, frozen in the doorway. “I- I can’t--”

“Patton, please.” Roman had maneuvered himself until he was standing behind the anxious side, arms wrapped around his chest and shoulders as Logan carefully reached for his bloody hands. “Try and get him to focus. Tell him he’s safe.”

The request was enough to snap Patton out of his own panic, the moral side wiping away his gathering tears and rushing towards the others. He held down Virgil’s legs with one hand, cupping his jaw in the other while Logan carefully but firmly took a hold of his wrists.

“Hey, honey,” Patton whispered, voice breaking when Virgil only choked back a terrified sob. “Just focus on me, alright? Look at me, sweetie. It’s Patton. It’s Dad. I’m right here.”

For a second Virgil’s breathing slowed, just a fraction. And then he flinched so hard Roman nearly lost his grip. Glancing over at the sink, he winced when he saw Logan carefully taking a pair of tweezers to the pieces of glass still stuck in Virgil’s skin.

“I’m so sorry, Virgil,” he muttered, barely audible over Virgil’s breathing picking up again. “It will be over soon.”

Thankfully, there wasn’t too much leftover glass in his skin, Logan soon setting aside the tweezers and guiding Virgil’s hands under the water. But still, Roman couldn’t imagine how badly that hurt, or what Virgil thought was happening in his panicked state.

“I need to clean the cuts to keep them from getting infected,” Logan said after a minute, rummaging through the first-aid kit. “Hold him very still, please.”

There was barely a warning, just a slight nod from Logan a few seconds later before he was pressing something against the skin and Virgil jumped, frantically trying to break away, crying out against the pain.

There was a sob that might have been from him or Patton, but there was no way for Roman to know for sure. Not when he was so focused on not letting Virgil go, not until he wasn’t a danger to himself.

“Please,” Virgil choked out, breathing still too quick and unsteady even as Patton counted out breathing exercises. “Pl- please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry--”

“Focus on my voice, honey.”

“I- I’m sorry for hiding, I’m sorry, it...I- I won’t do it again, I promise, I’m sorry just stop , please please, I’m sorry…”

And Roman felt his heart shatter.

Virgil thought this was a punishment. He thought they were hurting him on purpose.

“Logan--”

“I know, Roman,” Logan snapped, a distinct wavering to his voice. “I’m almost finished.”

Logan kept working, cleaning and wiping the blood away with quick but careful movement, growing visibly more tense with each one of Virgil’s pleads.

“You’re ok, honey,” Patton kept saying. “You’re ok. I’m right here, you’ll be ok soon. We’re all here. We’re gonna help you.”

Roman couldn’t seem to find his voice, just held on tight and rested his forehead against Virgil’s trembling shoulder, listening to his racing heart and ragged breathing, hoping the contact would do something to ground him.

It felt like hours- hours of Virgil begging his family not to hurt him, Roman helpless to do anything but watch- before Logan finally finished, wrapping his hands in bandages.

“All done,” Roman said softly. He loosened his hold when Virgil, still trembling, went almost limp in his grasp. “You’re ok, Virge. You did so well, I’m so so sorry.”

Virgil didn’t respond, eyes still wide and terrified, letting out a noise that sounded like a desperate whimper.

Patton took a careful step back, letting his hands fall to his side. “Let’s get you to bed, alright kiddo?”

Virgil still didn’t speak, his apologies having fallen silent since Logan stopped treating his wounds, the anxious side only squeezing his eyes shut and hunching his shoulders, like he was waiting for more pain.

Roman took the hint and gently gathered Virgil into his arms again, blinking away tears when he flinched at the movement.

They took Virgil back to his room, Logan bringing sleeping pills and a glass of water from the medicine cabinet.

It took a few moments to convince Virgil to take them, the anxious side frantically scrambling to get as far away from the others as he could as soon as he was set down on his bed.

But eventually, (mostly because Virgil seemed terrified of what would happen if he didn’t comply) they got him tucked under the blankets, still teary and shivering, refusing to open his eyes.

He wouldn’t let them go anywhere near him, Patton having to step out of the room when he realized Virgil’s breathing only quickened the closer they got to the bed.

It took some time, Logan doing what he could to keep Virgil’s breathing under control, Roman and Patton hovering in the doorway, but the anxious side’s eyes eventually slipped closed, succumbing to his exhaustion.

“I should have checked on him,” Patton said when they were back in the living room, squeezing Roman’s hand so tight he thought it might bruise. “He said- he...I should have known to--”

“It’s not your fault, Pat,” Roman said. “You were just giving him some space. And he’ll be fine when he wakes up, right Logan?”

He didn’t answer, the logical side lowering himself onto the armchair and reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

It wasn’t until his breath caught in his throat, Logan’s hand suddenly pressed against his mouth to muffle any sound, that Roman realized something was wrong.

Patton was up off the couch in an instant, Roman close behind, but Logan quickly shook his head, moving away from outstretched hands.

He took a few heavy breaths, slowly moving his hand away from his mouth, gaze locked on the floor. Roman could see how red and watery his eyes were, even as he blinked rapidly to get rid of the gathering tears.

“Apologies,” Logan said, and Roman’s breath caught at how broken he was trying not to sound. “Please...please disregard…”

“Honey, no.” Patton kneeled in front of the chair, a steadying hand on Logan’s knee, and Roman moved to clutch at his shoulder. “Don’t keep it in. You’re allowed to be upset.”

Logan shook his head again, looking anywhere but Patton. “I am...I am logic. I am not supposed to--”

“Will you cut the bullshit, Specs?”

Patton gasped. “Roman!”

Roman didn’t bother correcting his language. He squeezed Logan’s shoulder, knowing it helped to calm Virgil down and only able to hope it did the same for the logical side.

“You’re allowed to feel,” he said. “You can feel whatever you want whenever you want. You don’t need to pretend like you don’t.”

Logan shook his head once again, even as a few stray tears escaped and Roman wiped them away with his thumb. “It’s...it isn’t logical for me to be--”

“Emotions don’t have to make sense,” Patton said gently. “And no one’s going to think of you any differently for feeling.”

“You were trying to help Virgil,” Roman added. “You were trying to save him, and he thought you were hurting him. I’d say it’s fairly logical to be upset after that.”

And that was apparently enough to break the dam, a choked sob escaping from Logan, and this time he didn’t try to fight against it.

Roman rubbed his back as he tipped forward, forehead resting against Patton’s chest, the moral side crying along with him as he cupped the back of Logan’s neck.

“It’s ok,” he muttered. “We’ll be ok. It’ll be better in the morning.”

Logan curled further into Patton, clutching at his blue shirt. “I hurt him, I...I had to hurt him.”

“You were helping him,” Roman corrected, shifting positions to wrap his arms around both Logan and Patton. The angle was a bit awkward, but they seemed to relax slightly. “If you waited any longer, it just would have been worse. He’ll understand that when he calms down.”

“What if he doesn't?”

Roman wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to being the one to calm Logan down, to talk him through a problem. As relieved as he was that Logan wasn’t forcing himself to stay put together...he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” Patton jumped in, glancing up to smile through his tears. “Because we love him. And that’s never gonna change.”

They were silent after that and Roman forced himself to relax under Patton’s optimism, as forced as it clearly was. There was no way to tell what Virgil would think when he woke up.

Not for the first time, Roman thought about grabbing his sword and hunting down each and every person who had ever dared to lay a hand on Virgil with malicious intent, every person who had ever let him feel worthless and unwanted.

But then again, if he were to go that far he’d have to turn his own blade on himself.

Things were different now, though. And while he and Virgil hadn’t always gotten along in the past, Roman had never once considered hurting him. No one deserved the treatment Virgil had been given.

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t comprehend how anyone could see Virgil- sweet, scared, and caring Virgil , and decide they wanted to hurt him. Break him down until he was terrified of making the smallest mistake, convinced no one could ever accept him.

“He didn’t deserve it,” Roman said suddenly, not really meaning to speak out loud. “What they did to him. Virgil didn’t deserve that.”

“Of course he didn’t,” Patton said, with so much raw pain and hurt that Roman was once again forcibly reminded that Patton wasn’t just at the core of happy emotions. “But he’s safe now. Sometimes he’s just...gonna have to be reminded of that.”

And they would remind him. Over and over again if they had to. Like Patton said, they would figure it out.

When Virgil woke up, it was to a foggy head and a throbbing, itching sensation in his hands.

He finally blinked open his eyes when, after trying to scratch at his palms, he found only tightly woven bandages and a new spark of white hot pain up his arm.

Slowly, careful not to put any weight on his hands, he sat up in bed and leaned up against the headboard, suddenly weak and shaky as the whole room momentarily started to spin. He shut his eyes, walking himself through his breathing as he let the memories from yesterday wash over him.

Right. The broken glass, the panic attack, trying to hide and then…

Oh shit. God, what had he done? He couldn’t quite focus, couldn’t really remember where his thoughts had been through the whole ordeal, but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together as they all came flooding back.

He couldn’t even imagine how much he’d upset them. God, they were probably terrified. They’d just wanted to help and all he’d done was panic and fought, completely losing control just because of one stupid mistake.

A mistake that would have gotten him days of pain before…

But it wasn’t like that anymore. He should know that by now. The others tried so hard to help and he still couldn’t even control himself.

They’d...they’d never seen him panic like that before. He’d definitely done a number on his hands without even realizing, and he’d been too far gone to differentiate between help and punishment.

They’d thought he was getting better. They often told him how much progress he was making, even if Virgil couldn’t see it himself.

Well, obviously...obviously they wouldn’t think that anymore. Jesus, he’d locked himself in a closet covered in blood for who knew how long.

Honestly, what the hell was the point in keeping him? Why would they want him to stick around if all he did was terrify and hurt the people he loved?

Logan had said Virgil helped them. Roman had once said he made them better. Patton promised they all love him.

He was having a difficult time focusing on any that right now, forcing himself out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom.

Virgil took one look at himself in the mirror and quickly turned away, a dangerous wave of self loathing immediately rising in his chest.

He should probably tell someone about that. Assuming they would still be able to look him in the eyes after last night.

Besides, he looked awful. His hair was horribly disheveled and his makeup was fading and smeared all the way down his face, eyes heavy and bloodshot.

His hoodie was neatly folded on the counter, cleaned of any bloodstains, along with a roll of clean bandages and a bottle of disinfectant.

Good. He wasn’t about to force anyone to take care of him again.

He changed his clothes and washed his face, not in any particular rush to leave his room, each movement making him more and more lightheaded, his hands protesting every little thing he did.

He couldn’t even put on his makeup, the pain too intense and hands too unsteady when he tried to grab the brush, nothing to hide the natural bags under his eyes, nothing to hide how pitiful and scared he looked.

It took a good ten minutes to get his bandages off, biting his lip to keep from crying out as he peeled off the paper, grimacing when he saw the far from healed cuts that littered his fingers and palms.

He’d done that to himself without even realizing it. There’d probably been glass stuck in his hands before someone came along and practically forced him to accept help. And he’d fought back like nothing had changed, like he was being punished, brain running on autopilot.

God, he was pathetic. Maybe he should just stay up here forever, isolate himself like he used to. He’d never have to be afraid of disappointing anyone again, and he doubted the thought had never crossed the other’s minds.

It...it wasn’t a bad idea. He hated it, of course. The thought of losing his family hurt worse than rubbing the disinfectant on his wounds.

He loved them. He loved what he had more than anything. But it wasn’t fair. He wasn’t getting better, that much was clear now. They deserved to be happy. And they couldn’t have that with him hanging around.

But he at least owed them an apology first. He wanted to make sure they knew they hadn’t done anything wrong.

So he wrapped up his hands as best he could with fresh bandages, taking a shaky breath before slipping on his hoodie. Pulling up the hood was the best defense mechanism he had right now, and the familiar warmth of the cloth offered a small amount of comfort.

It was almost eleven in the morning by now, which meant the others already had breakfast hours ago.

Virgil did his best to convince himself that they wanted to let him sleep in, and not that they just didn’t want him around.

It was annoyingly difficult to make it downstairs, his head pounding and vision strangely blurred. He almost wished he could just go back to bed and sleep the rest of the day away.

But he was at the bottom step without even fully realizing he’d kept moving, freezing when he glanced up at the living room.

Patton, Roman, and Logan were seated on the couch, the TV turned on low to what was probably an old Disney movie, the three very obviously paying little attention to the screen. Patton and Roman were restless, Logan staring blankly, lost deep in thought.

They were waiting. Waiting for him . And suddenly Virgil really wanted to go back to his room and sleep for the rest of his life.

But that wasn’t fair to them. Nothing he did seemed to be lately. He stepped off the stairs, still using the railing to keep himself balanced, and cleared his throat.

“Uh, m-morning guys.” He hadn’t meant to stutter, and he winced at how broken and cracked his voice was, vaguely remembering screaming the night before.

Immediately, all eyes in the room were on him and Virgil had to fight the urge not to flee and lock himself in a closet again.

“Morning, Kiddo!” Patton moved like he was going to rush over and hug him, quickly stopping himself as Roman put a hand on his shoulder. Right. No one was going to want to hug him right now. “How’d you sleep?”

Virgil shrugged, staring firmly at the ground and trying not to sway. “Fine. No nightmares this time.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Logan said, standing along with the others. “But you’re likely still exhausted. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Virgil didn’t see a reason to argue, making his way to the empty armchair, knowing there was absolutely no way to hide how unsteady he was on his feet.

“Virgil,” Logan said when he was settled, and Virgil braced himself for the worst. “When was the last time you ate?”

Oh. Right, that would...probably explain his killer headache. “Uh, breakfast. Yesterday.”

Patton made a startled noise, already hurrying towards the kitchen before Virgil could muster up the strength to stop him.

The rest of them were left in heavy silence, Virgil refusing to look up from his lap while he absently picked at his bandages, until Patton returned moments later with a piece of bread with jam, and a cup of iced water.

Ice water in a plastic cup. He tried not to think about the implications of that.

“Thank you,” he muttered, and tried to ignore the fact that everyone was probably staring at him as he shakily picked up the piece of bread.

He was starving, but the anxiety churning in his gut was making him feel like he might throw up, and the last thing he needed to do was make another mess. So he ate his food slowly, sipping idly at the water, wincing at the lingering pain in his throat.

When he finished, he set down the now half empty cut, folded his hands in his lap and waited for the inevitable.

“Alright,” Logan said after a moment, and Virgil tried not to flinch. “I...believe we should talk about what happened last night.”

“Logan,” Roman chided, sounding more scared than upset. “He just woke up.”

“No, it’s fine,” Virgil said. The thought of delaying any longer was somehow even worse, and he didn’t need everyone pretending things were ok when they so clearly weren’t. “We can...we can talk about it now.”

A part of him, the part that had been in complete control yesterday, expected to be yelled at. He’d ruined their night, their lives, and he had the audacity to come down here like he was still welcome.

He pushed that voice away, and risked a glance up when he was met with silence, catching Logan sharing a small frown with Patton and Roman.

The logical side inched closer, taking a breath before speaking again. “How much do you remember?”

“Most of it, I think,” Virgil said. “I know...I know you guys weren’t, uh, trying to hurt me. For breaking that glass. I mean, I didn’t yesterday but...I know that now.”

He hadn’t thought he’d needed to say it, but that was quickly disproven by how quickly the tension in everyone’s shoulders suddenly dropped, a watery smile growing on Patton’s face.

“I must have really freaked out, huh?” Like the loss of his voice wasn’t proof enough, memories of his own screams and his family’s frantic apologies. “I-I’m sorry you guys, I didn’t--”

“You were having a panic attack,” Logan said, calm as ever. “As well as what were likely some very intense flashbacks. There is no need to apologize for that.”

“Right.” He was always told not to apologize, not to blame himself. It didn’t get rid of the suffocating guilt. “I’m still sorry. For scaring you.”

“We were only scared because you were hurt!” Roman exclaimed. “You were practically bleeding out and you didn’t even seem to realize. We’d never seen you that far gone before!”

Virgil flinched, pulling his knees up to his chest, an old familiar defense. He knew Roman didn’t mean it as an accusation, but the guilt kept curling around him, tighter and tighter.

“We just want you to be safe,” Patton said, soft and quiet. “We don’t like seeing you in pain.”

Virgil nodded, not really sure what to say, digging his thumb into the palm of his hand like the sudden flare of agony could be of help. “I know.”

The room fell back into an awkward silence, Virgil warily shifting his gaze between the three of them, then back down at his own feet, wondering if they were waiting for him to say something.

“I think,” Patton spoke up after what felt like an eternity. “We should talk about why this happened.”

Right. Virgil had to tell him that they hadn’t done anything different or wrong, that he was just like this, and it was unpredictable and not worth the effort of trying to fix.

He opened his mouth to say just that, but Logan beat him to it.

“We assumed it was the glasses breaking,” he said. “Are we correct in that assumption?”

Virgil nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment, panic and guilt steadily building up as he half expected to be chided or told off. He’d made so many mistakes since being accepted, something as stupid as breaking a cup shouldn’t send him spiraling like that.

But Logan just gave a small smile in response, apparently pleased with the answer. “Please understand, Virgil, that it is completely reasonable for you to react so strongly.”

Virgil scoffed before he could stop himself, startling when there was suddenly a hand gently rested over his. He refused to look at Logan, clenching his jaw so tight he thought his teeth might break.

“It is,” Patton said from his spot by the couch. “You’d never...broken anything before. The other things you thought you’d be in trouble for were just...silly little things. We get that this might be...a bigger deal to you.”

“It’s…” Virgil paused, swallowing. “It’s still stupid.”

“It was a relapse, Virgil,” Logan corrected gently. “There’s no shame in something like this. Recovery is not linear. It never will be, and that’s quite alright.”

And this...this wasn’ fair. This wasn’t how they were supposed to be reacting. Virgil was horrible. He was terrible and awful and all he did was make everyone stressed and scared and miserable.

He’d screamed and fought when they were trying to help him, panicked over meaningless things too many times to count, and they still...why were they still being so patient with him? Why were they so nice?

Why would they give all this kindness to the person who deserved it the least?

“Perhaps,” Logan continued, when it was clear Virgil wasn’t going to answer. “We should inform you of what we’ve done in an attempt to ensure this doesn’t occur again.”

Virgil’s anxiety skyrocketed at that phrasing, wide eyes going immediately to Roman and Patton, but they just offered reassuring smiles and encouraging nods to Logan.

“The first thing we did was replace all glass cups and dishes with plastic ones,” Logan explained. “However, based on past experience I’ve determined that the sudden noise is also incredibly detrimental to your mental state.”

“I- I guess--”

“It’s only a temporary fix, of course, but we had Roman put a rug in the kitchen underneath the cabinets. It’s aesthetically pleasing- thanks to him, and it should muffle the sound if someone happens to drop something. Hopefully, that will alleviate some stress in the future.”

And Virgil...Virgil kind of wanted to throw up. Because that might be the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.

He’d fucked up again, showed them that he was unfixable, and they’d responded by remodeling their kitchen.

“Of course it is not a- Virgil? Did I say something wrong?”

Virgil wasn’t sure when he started crying, but suddenly it was all too much, the guilt finally overwhelming. He was so unworthy- undeserving of every kind smile, every gesture, it made him sick.

He shook his head, the only sound he was able to manage being an awful sounding sob that worsened the pain in his throat, but at the moment he didn’t even care.

“What’s wrong?” Roman was asking, clearly distraught (Virgil had upset him again), and suddenly Patton was in front of him, gathering him into his arms.

Virgil knew he should pull away, refuse the comfort and distance himself. But he was selfish, melting into the warm embrace with another shuddering sob, unable to stop himself from holding on.

“Deep breaths, honey,” Patton said, voice barely a whisper. “Can you tell us why you’re upset? Are you just overwhelmed?”

He shook his head, taking a few desperate breaths, struggling to find his words.

“It’s...I...you shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t have to do this. All of this. With- with the kitchen and the cups and the plates--”

Roman stepped closer, hand on the back of the chair. “Is it not going to help?”

“It will,” Virgil said, because it was perfect and they were perfect and that was the problem. “It will but it...it’s too much, and it’s just a hassle for you guys and I should just--”

It was Logan’s turn to cut him off, sounding painfully worried. “You...do you think we care more about the cups we use than your comfort?”

“It’s not about the cups!”

He pulled away from Patton as soon as he realized he’d shouted, shame now mingling with the guilt, and Virgil had to forcibly remind himself to breathe.

“Sorry,” he gasped, shrinking back against the chair. “God, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to...I can’t do anything right and I just--”

“Hey.” Patton cupped his cheek, and Virgil quickly fell silent. “We both know that’s not true. Take a deep breath and tell us what’s wrong, ok?”

Virgil nodded, Logan and Roman watching patiently, Logan’s hand still gently cupping his own, keeping him from digging his nails into the bandages again.

After what he’d put them through last night, he needed to just get everything out in the open. The sooner the better.

“I’m not getting better,” he said, continuing over the expected protests. “I’m not. I know recovery isn’t linear or- or whatever, and you all say I’m making progress but...but last night was bad. And who knows if it’ll happen again, and I don’t...I never wanted to put you guys through something like that.”

“Virge,” Roman said. “It’s not your fault.”

Virgil wasn’t really in the mood to debate that. He couldn’t control it, as much as he tried, but it was still his fault the treatment had ever happened. He’d let himself get hurt, over and over again.

He shrugged, wiping at his eyes. “You guys are...you...you’re great. All of you. Nobody’s ever...done all of this for me. But I can’t do anything for you except...except make everything worse.”

“Virgil--”

“And I get it.” He couldn’t seem to stop now, desperate for it all to be over with. “And I know you all wouldn’t...say anything but, that’s ok. You- you’ve all helped me a lot. And I can...I can go back. I know it’s too much.”

Roman frowned, and Virgil felt him go very still. “Go back?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “You know, to...to how things used to be. Me up in my room all the time so you guys don’t have to keep dealing with this.”

Roman’s eyes widened, sharing a look with the others that could only be described as one of horror. “Virge, we’re not gonna ask you to leave!”

“I know!” Because that was the whole point, wasn’t it? They would never ask him to do that, no matter how much better things would be without him. They were too good. “I- I know you wouldn’t. That’s why I’m offering.”

It was the right thing to do. It was. They tried so hard, and they deserved so much better. And Virgil...Virgil was better off alone, anyway.

It would be ok. It shouldn’t hurt this bad.

“I love you guys.” It did. It did hurt this bad. “I don’t want to make things harder for you anymore.” It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. But this was for the best, this was--

There was a hand grabbing his chin, not hard enough to hurt, moving his head up until he was face to face with Logan. Logan, whose eyes were red and watery.

He’d made Logan upset. He’d made logic cry.

“Virgil,” he said, never averting his gaze. “You’re an idiot.”

“Logan!” Patton gasped, and suddenly there was another hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “He’s not angry, honey. You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m furious,” Logan said, and Virgil’s heart sank until he continued. “I’m furious at whoever left you feeling this way. Believe me when I say I will continue to do whatever I can to undo it. But you, Virgil, are an idiot if you can think for one minute that your trauma is all you have to offer.”

“Lo--”

“We love you, Virgil. All of you. That means your past, your mistakes, your relapses, all of it. Because that includes all of the good.”

“You make us better,” Roman added, sincere and strong. “I mean that every time I say it. You protect us, you bring us closer, and you make us happy.”

“I...I don’t--”

“You do.” Patton was in front of him again, Logan having let go of his jaw. “I know you can’t always see it, but you do. We wouldn’t be complete without you. We weren’t complete until you came along. So don’t you think for a second that we would ever give up on you. You’re worth everything, kiddo.”

Virgil couldn’t really see at this point, vision blurred completely by the neverending trail of tears, but right now he didn’t really care. The guilt was fading for the moment, that ever present voice in the back of his head finally being silenced.

“What we’re trying to say,” Logan added, not bothering to wipe away his own tears. “Is that we have no desire to ask you to leave. And at this point, I doubt we’d let you if you tried.”

Roman’s smile brightened, and Virgil felt himself blush when the prince winked at him. “Yes, we’ve grown rather fond of you, Doctor Gloom.”

Virgil sobbed again at the nickname, but he was smiling through his tears now, blindly reaching for all of them. And they were there, without even needing to be asked, one last silent reassurance that they meant what they said, that he didn’t need to go anywhere.

“Come on,” Patton said, pulling away after what might have been hours. “Let’s get you some real food. And I’ll show you the new cups- Logan let us make them pretty colors!”

For just a second the voice was back, telling him it was too good to be true, that he should duck out now and never leave his room again.

He didn’t even give it a second thought, brushing the dark thoughts aside and allowing himself to be dragged to his feet, following his family into the kitchen.

For the moment, even if it wouldn’t last, he let himself relax.

515 notes · View notes

spookypotato · 4 years

Text

Leo’s 20th Birthday

Sooo It’s already the baby’s birthday here and I dont want to wait, so let the fluff begin!

Happy birthday, Leo! ☀️💛 Nutter butter baby! He will always be the baby, but technically he’s not even a teen anymore. Anyway. I hope you enjoy.

Birthday-boy and boyfriends by the incredible @lumosinlove

Idea from @noctualilith thank you

Yes, I am excited about a fictional characters birthday. Everyone that knows this ray of sunshine would fall in love.

CW: there is a bit of food mentioned

When Leo was 13, he celebrated his birthday with all of his best friends. Eloise made him a lemoncake and Wyatt took them out on the boat to go swimming. It was the last birthday, where he felt completely free in his actions.

When Leo was 14, he got his first crush. The first one he realised was a crush at least. He told no one. He was too afraid, not even of the teesing. He was afraid, because it was a boy. His friend to be exact. His birthday party was fun for him, he didnt know about the other guests. He focused on his friend. He wanted to spend the whole party with him. And they were friends, he could. So he did and he had fun.

When Leo was 16, he decided to tell his friend. Since they spent so much time together, his crush never really faded, so after two years he just decided fuck it. If it went horribly wrong, he didn‘t care anymore. He needed this out of his system. So Leo told him. His friend didn‘t feel the same, but he didn‘t seem to mind about Leo. He did tell him however, that it should rather be kept a secret, because if the others found out, he might even be thrown off the team. This was what terrified him. Before, he was scared of maybe loosing his friends, now he was scared of loosing everything. He‘d worked so hard for being where he was. He had a chance of playing in the NHL, if he kept it up, at least that‘s what his coach was telling him. So he decided to hide it.

When Leo was 17, he told his family. Leo gathered all his courage and told them at a family lunch. They had the best reaction he could have wished for, really, but he had lived to long thinking it‘s a bad thing, so he assumed they were just being nice parents. When they made him a bracelet however, he knew they hadn‘t lied. They wouldn‘t have thought about giving him this gift, if they had been disapointed in their son. They showed him, they were proud. He knew now, whatever happend, he would have his family standing behind him, supporting him. He could at least be open about his feelings, where it mattered the most, home. He could let himself go, gush about that cute boy he saw in the coffee shop and feel excepted everytime his father mentioned Leo at his age, settled down with his maybe-husband by then, possibly with children, running around in their backyard.

When Leo was 18, he got drafted into the NHL. His dream came true. All the sacrifices he had made to get there, were finally worth it, because he could turn his passion into his career. All the boys, he had forced himself not to look at for too long, so people wouldn‘t even question him. All the girls he had pretended to be interested in, those moments were worth it. He felt amazing. He achieved what he had worked for, but now he was facing a new problem. Even though Leo was a gay teenager, the naked guys walking around weren‘t actually a problem for him. Well, not all of them. Of course, the world was against him and chose two incredibly attractive people, who he couldn‘t even look at too long, nevermind kiss or date, to go with his NHL-goalie-gryffindor-dream package. He had to prove everyday how much he wanted to play hockey and how much he was willing to sacrifice.

Before Leo turned 19, he was hiding. He lived a dream, that slowly broke his heart. He was playing professinal hockey and loved it everyday, but he was also pretending everday, that he didn‘t want. So he hid it, because hockey was his dream and now was the time for hockey. He could probably still find a nice boyfriend at 40 years old, if they even kept him that long. For now he planned on staying focused on his career.

But before Leo turned 19, he also decided to just throw those plans out the window and kiss Finn. He hadn‘t planned it- not to say he didn‘t want to do it- it just shouldn‘t have happen, but it did. The second their lips touched though, he forgot why he shouldn‘t have done it. How could this not be right, when Finn and Leo both wanted it so much.

For a moment, at the airport he was reminded, why it was wrong. Why he couldn‘t risk it now. But then he thought about it. Thought about how much happier Sirius had been, how even a NHL player could have, what Leo wanted. And so he tried his best to get it.

And he did.

His 20th birthday was a wednesday.

Leo‘s eyes opened in one go and his feet jerked up.

„Logan!“, he groaned sleepily. The brunet had bellyflopped onto him, shaking him awake in an instant.

„Leo, Baby, Peanut, Nutty, Butty!“, Logans face looked like he had surprised himself with the last name, „That‘s a new one, but it works“, repositioning himself better on his boyfriends chest, hands supporting his head, he smiled dopely up at Leo.

Leo let his eyes slip closed for another second, Logans weight grounding him and his warmth surrounding him. It was too early. They had practice and he knew that, but it seemed earlier than usual. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at their alarm clock.

„Logan!“, he groaned again, as he saw, that they were awake an hour too early.

Logan shifted, having layed down his head on Leo‘s chest, he tilted his head up to look at the blond. „As much as I love that my name is the only thing on your mind right now, a, Finn must be getting jealous and b, we did actually have a reason to wake you earlier.“ Then Logan leaned up and started trailing lingering kisses up his boyfriends neck over his jaw, finally reaching his mouth.

Leo happily complied and kissed him slowly. They broke apart to soon in Leo‘s opinion, but it was all worth it to just see as Finn came in through the door, still only dressed in his underwear. He was carrying a small box, wrapped in newspaper and a bright yellow bow tied around it. He sat down on the end of the bed and Logan moved off of Leo and next to the red head. They looked at him expectantly. He sat up slowly.

„Happy Birthday, Baby!“, both Logan and Finn more or less shouted as soon as Leo looked at them. He was a bit overwhelmed, but then remembered. Today was his birthday. He hadn‘t really celebrated it for a few years, he didn‘t even know why. This however, warmed his heart. Both the boys he loved so much, beaming at him from the end of the bed.

„You know how hard it is to keep up a normal conversation with you, before saying that? I promised this one though“, he shoved Finn playfully, „that I would wait for him to finish everything. But I had to wake you! It‘s your birthday! Happy birthday, Peanut!“

Leo wasn‘t even sure if Logan had taken a breath in between his rambling but he smiled softly at them. Felling their love warming him, even through the distance between them.

„You already said that.“, Leo commented, but smiled, „Thank you both so much. Come here.“

They both more or less jumped at him, Leo recieving the best cuddles and a few more whispered ‚happy birthday“s from Logan and Finn, until they were all wrapped around each other, Leo in the middle. It felt nice to be in the middle for once. He held Logan securely in his arms, slowly stroking a hand over his side, Finn wrapped up around him, making him feel warm and protected. He liked being the big spoon and having Logan in the middle, but he could see himself sneaking in the middle every once i a while.

„We can still sleep for a bit.“, he heard Finn say from behind him. He had gotten the blankets over them again and was already burrying his nose in between Leo‘s shoulder blades. „Sorry for waking you this early, Nutty. We had to prepare things.“, Finn stopped for a second, like waiting for Leo‘s reaction, but then continued, „and we just couldn‘t wait to cuddle you.“

Leo made a soft noise, his hand combing through Logans hair, who was already back to sleep, really more like you expected from an excited baby, rather than a professinal hockey player. It was only then, Leo thought about what Finn had said. Under normal circumstances Leo might have sat up upruptly and ran to the kitchen, to the inevitable mess that must be there.

„Whatever it is you did-“, Leo started, but then thought again.

He was surrounded by love, on his birthday. The love he had always desired to have, espcially on his that day. All the fun events couples in movies had planned for each other to make their birthdays special, he had always wished for that. He had always thought, he could never have that, but now he did. He had it doubled.

Snuggling back further into Finns chest he repeated, already drifting back to sleep, „Whatever it is you did, thank you.“

#leo knut #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #birthday #written by meee #fluff #leos birthday #lumosinlove #coast to coast #oknutzy #o'knutzy #cw:food #food #leo baby #20th birthday #leos 20th birthday #birthday love

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lumosinlove · 4 years

Text

Sweater Weather

WARNING: struggles with homophobia and past abuse.

part xv

Remus had his head in Lily’s lap, the TV on a commercial break from the All-Stars game, when there was a knock at the door. Remus’ head ached, but he raised it anyway at the delusional thought that it might be Sirius, despite knowing exactly where he was. He remembered a similar knock, one that had actually revealed Sirius, who had fallen straight into his arms. And Remus had been there for him.

“Do you want me to get it?” Lily asked gently, her hands in Remus’ hair.

“I will,” Remus sighed, and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry that’s probably not a comfortable position for you and the baby.”

James appeared from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “Do you want me to get it?”

“I’ll do it,” Remus smiled a little, standing. “Thanks for getting the dishes, Pots, really.”

“No problem,” James shrugged.

Another knock sounded and Remus called out that he was coming.

“Probably just one of those salespeople,” Remus sighed as he turned the lock. “Someone always falls for it and lets them in—”

Remus’ words died in his mouth in surprise.

Finn sent him a hesitant smile from the other side of the door, Leo mirroring it.

“Sup, Loops,” Finn said.

“I…Hi, boys.”

James poked his head around Remus to see.

“Cubs?” James questioned.

“Pots?” Leo said.

“And Lily!” Lily called from the living room.

Remus stared at them. “What are you doing here? Are you…”

And Remus realized. How could he have forgotten? Logan.

He didn’t know what was going on with these three, but maybe he was about to find out.

Finn held up a bag. “We brought tacos.”

“You just missed it, I made dinner,” James said.

“Oh,” Finn lowered the bag slowly. “Well…phew.”

James scoffed. “Thankless little rookie babies.”

“I’m not a rookie,” Finn pointed out. “More tacos for us.”

“Still.”

Remus blinked back to life. “Jeez, sorry, come in, guys.”

Finn walked past him only to receive a slug on the arm from James, and Leo put his hand on Remus’ shoulder as they followed James and Finn back into the living room.

“How are you?”

Remus looked up at him with a shaky smile and raised a shoulder. Leo nodded, understanding.

“We haven’t talked,” Remus found himself saying, throat closing a little at just the words. “I don’t really—Things are really just…busy right now.”

“I’m so sorry, Loops,” Leo said quietly.

“Don’t make excuses for him,” Finn said as he unpacked the take-out containers.

Lily spread her hands. “Thank you, O’Hara.”

“I’m not,” Remus said. “I didn’t expect smooth sailing, alright? Look, it’s…” Remus sat down. “It’s more complicated than that. Is there a point where I’m going to stop cutting him slack? Of course. But I need you guys to trust that I know when that point is. That point isn’t now, when he got brutally outed, which he was terrified of, and then had to go to one of the most public events in hockey in the same fucking breath.”

Remus stared around at them all. Finn was still holding the same take-out box.

“Okay?” Remus said.

“You got outed, too,” Leo said quietly.

“Yes,” Remus said over an exhale. “But I was ready. Not the way I would have chose, but I was. That’s the difference.”

The room got quiet again. Remus glanced at the television, but a commercial was still playing.

So,” Finn began slowly. “Is this a good time to say that me and Leo—”

Lily gasped, clapping her hands to her chest. “I knew it. Wait—”

“…are dating Logan?”

Lily’s gasp turned to one of surprise, slow and drawn out. She put her hand on her belly, eyes wide as she looked between them.

“Oh,” she breathed. “Yes.”

James put his towel on his head, pulling at it by his ears. “The cubs?”

Finn gave James a confused look. “Yes? What are you doing?”

“How did that happen?”

“Lots of misunderstanding,” Leo sighed. “And time.”

“Eight years in some cases,” Finn added.

Lily cooed. “Since college, aw, babies. Nut, are you wearing Logan’s hat? I’m going to cry. I’m pregnant so I’m allowed to cry at this.”

Everything Remus wanted to say felt lodged in his chest. He blinked and he saw Sirius’ haunted expression.

“Re?” Leo said hesitantly.

Remus snapped his head up. “Hm?”

“I know this is probably the last thing you’d want to hear,” Leo continued with a glance at Finn. Through the glass coffee table, Remus saw Finn put a hand on Leo’s thigh. “But we really have you to thank. Logan was sort of our missing link, you know? He was…” Scared, Remus knew Leo was about to say. Just like Sirius. But he shifted at the last second. “You really got through to him.”

What Remus couldn’t do for Sirius.

Remus smiled at them, knowing it was probably shadowed with everything bouncing around in his head and chest right now.

“I’m so happy you guys worked it out,” he said, and it was true. “Really, that’s…”

Sirius turning away, disappearing.

“That’s amazing.”

Sirius, the morning after.

Who I love has nothing to—

“Sorry,” Finn said. “Maybe that was…”

“No,” Remus said. “No, I’m glad you told us. I’m glad you’re comfortable, of course I am. I don’t want any of this making you feel like you can’t be yourself.”

“I think it did the opposite, Re,” Lily said gently.

Remus nodded. “Exactly.”

There was another knock on the door. Remus turned around.

“Um,” he said. “I’ll get it? Again, I guess?”

“What’s up, Fruit-loop,” Natalie said when Remus opened the door. Her blonde hair was pulled into a high, messy bun and she was wearing pajamas. “I brought face masks.”

“I brought alcohol,” Kasey said from behind her. He held up a bag. “And candy.”

Remus stared. “I…”

“We brought tacos!” Finn yelled from the living room.

Natalie clicked her tongue, smiling. “I knew I liked that red-head.”

“Sup, Nat,” Remus heard Finn say as he and Kasey watched Natalie walk into the living room from the door.

“You are a walking freckle, O’Hara, but you brought tacos, so it’s okay.”

Finn snorted, and Remus turned back to meet Kasey’s dark eyes.

“Hey, Bliz,” Remus said softly. “Uh, thanks for bringing—”

“He was selfish,” Kasey interrupted him. “And you’re allowed to think that and love him at the same time.”

Remus almost laughed. It seemed that everyone knew Remus loved Sirius except Sirius. Kasey’s words hit like stone, but they were soothing, too. The ache of pressing on a paper cut.

Kasey smiled a little, just a closed upturn of his lips.

“Come on,” he said, and nudged Remus inside the door, closing it behind him. “I make mean cocktails.”

Walking back into the living room, Remus stared around at them all. They were spread out, Kasey in the kitchen unloading what seemed like ten bottles, Natalie and Lily with their arms around each other on the couch. James and Finn seemed to be seeing who could build the biggest taco, Finn leaning back into Leo’s chest and feeding him chips.

Natalie pointed between them. “When?”

“A while,” Finn said. “Logan, too.”

Natalie’s smile was approving. “Hot.”

Leo pressed his finger over his lips, and Natalie pretended to zip her mouth closed.

Remus let out a breath. He had thought he would want to be alone, but this felt—better. The chatter, the laughter…it distracted him. Sirius wasn’t his entire world, no matter how big a part of it he occupied. Remus liked being reminded of that.

He took his place back on Lily’s other side and leaned into her.

“And welcome back to all our viewers,” the television said. “To our 2020 All-Star Weekend, where you can see your favorites present their best skills, and dream lines compete against each other.”

Remus sucked in a breath.

“You gonna be okay?” Lily said quietly. “Watching this?”

“Yes,” Remus said firmly. He wanted to see Sirius’ face.

It was true, Remus did have a point when he would stop cutting Sirius slack.

He would wait, but not forever. And not for the wrong reasons.

He had told Sirius that himself.

“Red carpet first, right?” Finn asked through a mouthful of chips.

“Yep,” Leo said.

“Okay,” James said, staring at Finn and Leo. “I love this. Where would Logan be sitting right now? Like, does it get crowded?”

“Imagine if you had two Lilys, James,” Finn said with a raised eyebrow.

James blinked for a moment, then flushed behind his glasses. “Fuck.”

Finn grinned. “Yeah.”

James took another bite of taco and chewed slowly. “That’s so much love.”

“Yeah,” Leo said softly, and pressed his cheek to the top of Finn’s head.

“What we’ll be doing tonight is welcoming all of our players, who were voted in by the fans, of course,” said the announcer. “And there is our nice red carpet. We’ll see who arrives first shortly, I’m sure.”

“I am so excited to see Crosby,” Lily sighed. “That man’s butt, my god.”

James made a disgruntled sound.

“Love you, Potter,” Lily smiled.

“It is a legendary ass,” Kasey said.

“Me and Kase rate asses every year,” Natalie said. “I think Crosby won.”

“He wins every year,” Kasey said. “Deservingly so.”

“That’s true.”

They watched the Stars arrive, then the Bruins. Zibanejad and Panarin came from the Rangers.

Sirius and Logan were one of the last team members to show up and, ironically, they did so at the same time as the Snakes.

“Oh, Jesus fuck,” Finn breathed. They had finished their tacos and Finn was still sitting against Leo’s chest while Leo leant back against the couch, their hands laced on Finn’s stomach.

Remus watched, holding his breath, as Sirius and Logan got out of the car.

“Our boys,” Kasey said. “And…”

From just beside them, Snape and Regulus emerged, straightening their suit.

James and Finn hissed loudly.

“The snakes,” Leo finished.

Remus only half heard them, too focused on the camera flashing to a close up of Sirius’ face. His heart positively yearned.

Sirius looked exhausted. His eyes were a dull gray, hair curling agonizingly soft over his forehead. He was wearing a black suit, lapels velvet.

“Sirius Black with the fashion statement,” one of the announcers laughed. Remus couldn’t even tell them apart. “I guess we should expect that now.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Natalie yelled. “Fuck you, you stereotyping ass-hat.”

It rolled Remus’ stomach, but not as much as Sirius’ expression when he saw his brother and Snape. It was only on the screen for a second, his clenched jaw and unsteady eyes, before it switched to Logan.

“Oh, baby,” Finn sighed. “Look at that glare.”

It was true. Logan’s stare, aimed at Snape, was menacing.

“And there’s the League’s oldest and most famous rivalry right there,” the commentators said with a laugh. “Arriving at the same time. And, of course, Sirius Black who, as you all might know, has made a bit of a splash in the news recently when photos of him kissing another man were leaked to the media and turned out a major Twitter trend. That man is Remus Lupin.”

Remus’ stomach clenched. He had known they might bring him up, but he didn’t really think—

“Now, what do we know about Remus Lupin?” the announcer continued. “Not much. He’s on the Lions training staff, working, shall we say, closely with the players. And, well, the man was one heck of a hockey player himself. Let us play you the tapes we dredged up from Lupin’s college days at the University of Wisconsin.”

“What the hell,” Remus breathed, tucking his knees to his chest and hugging them. He felt Lily glance at him.

The screen faded away from the carpet and suddenly Remus was staring at an old memory. The footage was a little grainy, but he saw himself—could remember the feeling of himself—sprinting up the ice, skates cutting in. He took one player down, another, and scored. The tape cut and he won a Face-off, knocking it back to—

“Is that Greyback?” Finn leaned forward. “Fenrir Greyback?”

Remus swallowed. “Yes.”

“You played with—”

The announcers came back into view, grinning at each other.

“Pretty great. Unfortunately, Lupin was injured just before his draft eligibility, but, rumor has it, he was set for first. Would you look at that, Rob?”

“I know, John. Well, looks like he found another way to get some fame, eh?”

The two laughed. The living room was dead silent.

“Up next, we’ll get to talk to some of the stars. We’ll be right back after this break.”

“Excuse me,” Remus managed.

“Remus,” James called.

But Remus was already up, walking quickly out of the living room and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut, then open. He fumbled for his phone, sinking down to the floor against the door with his knees against his chest. His thumb missed the call button twice, but finally the screen went dark with the call display.

It rang and rang. And rang. Remus rubbed his thumb along his neck. Of course, Sirius wouldn’t answer. Look what he was in the middle of.

“Hey.”

Remus closed his eyes.

“You’ve reached the Sirius Black,” James’ voice said on Sirius’ voicemail. “I can’t come to the phone because either girls are proposing marriage, or I’m scorning a hat trick. Maybe both! Leave a message!”

The beep was piercing, for the thirty-seventh time. He’d never left a message before.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered into the speaker. He pressed his forehead to his knees. “I know you’re—busy and I’m not going to beg you to talk to me, I…”

Remus took a breath.

“Just re-watch your arrival. I’m not going to beg, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for you to see. See if you really care what those sort of people think about you.”

Remus hung up.

“Remus?”

It was Leo’s voice through the door.

Remus let out a steadying breath, scrubbing his face before standing and opening the door.

“Sorry,” Remus said. “I’m good, I just—I haven’t seen those in a long time, and then the two guys… I just needed a second.”

Leo had his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt, Logan’s hat backwards on his head, his blond hair fluffing out over the adjustment strap.

Leo nodded. “Do you want us all to clear out?”

Remus shook his head. “No.” He looked to the living room where the soft faces of his friends were peering at him. “No, I really don’t. C’mon let’s watch. I—Crosby does have a good ass and, you know…at least I can say that out loud now.”

Kasey laughed, pumping his fist in the air.

Remus settled himself on the couch again as they waited for the commercials to end.

“We’re cuddling too much,” Remus heard Finn whisper to Leo.

“No,” Remus said, hands out. “Please cuddle. Really, that’s not what’s wrong, I’m so happy for you guys.”

“It’s so cute,” James mumbled. “Lily, can we cuddle?”

“No, I’m cuddling Remus. We’ll cuddle later, baby.”

James nodded. “Kasey?”

Kasey raised an eyebrow from his chair. “You want to sit in this chair with me?”

James shrugged. “You can come on the floor.”

“I am a net minder,” Kasey said. “We do not sit on the floor.”

Natalie laughed, peeling a face mask out of its package. “Snob.”

Kasey winked at her.

Remus let out a breath, and smiled at Lily when she smiled at him. Things would happen, one way or another.

The ball was in Sirius’ court, the puck in his zone.

Sirius eyed the photographers and interviewers. His stomach churned. He had barely said two words to Logan, who had basically gotten right off the plane, into his suit, and into the car with Sirius, Minnie, and Logan’s agent, Clyde. They’d bumped fist, but the most Sirius had received from Logan was a hello and a serious of unreadable looks. It was those looks that disquieted Sirius more than the reporters. If Logan hated him—

“Hey,” Logan said as they were ushered forward onto the red carpet. Sirius was tense with Snape and his brother at their backs.

He looked at Logan.

“We’re talking later, okay? If we get split up, text me when you’re back at the hotel.”

Sirius blinked. It was—harsh for Logan. It was the way he spoke on the ice.

“I—okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

Dread pooled in Sirius’ gut. But Logan wouldn’t want to talk if he didn’t like who Sirius was anymore, right?

Logan clapped him on the shoulder. “I have your back, Cap,” he said, and then he was pulled away to do his own run of interviews before Sirius could respond. Minnie approached him while Sirius was still standing there, mouth open, expression still changing.

“Right,” she sighed. “Well, here we are.”

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry, Minnie. I’m such a headache.”

“Stop that nonsense, Sirius,” Minnie said, patting his arm. “You are the most real person I have ever met. Snapping at stupid questions instead of being a drone. It was unfair how the world thanked you for it, but I believe in you. You have a game plan, I’m assuming, although you refuse to tell me anything about it?”

Sirius sighed. “Sirius Black being gay is news. Sirius Black telling the media to go fuck themselves isn’t.”

“Excuse me,” an aid came up to them, headset on. “We’re ready for you on the carpet now.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, and he had just started forward when Minnie lay a gentle hand on his chest.

She pressed her lips together. “You remember what Alice said. This could be important to a lot of people. That includes yourself, my boy.”

Sirius swallowed hard. He nodded, quiet, and then followed the aid into the camera fray.

“Logan Tremblay, holding his fucking own,” Kasey slow clapped.

“You mean holding his fucking tongue,” Natalie said. “That’s kid’s a fire cracker.”

Finn, gestured to the television with his ice cream. “He was the perfect medium between civil and simmer. And now I can tell you all that I bought him that suit when we were eighteen. Well, I was eighteen. He was seventeen.”

“Does Tremz know we all know?” James questioned.

Leo nodded. “His plan was just to start making out in the locker room. I thought we should go for more of a verbal approach first.”

“I was okay with either,” Finn added, then looked at Remus. “I’m sorry I’m eating all your ice cream.”

Remus waved him off, heart still ringing with Logan’s words to the third interview he had.

You guys wouldn’t care if he had a girlfriend, Logan had said with a shrug. Why are you asking me that question with such a crazy look on your face? And then, finally. I support my Captain.

Sirius had been too far away to hear. He hoped Minnie played it for him later.

“But if that was one of Logan’s first interviews, that means…” Lily trailed off.

Sirius.

“I hope he knows what’s coming,” he said instead. By the looks of him, shoulders hunched, eyes guarded, he did.

All Remus wanted was for Sirius to talk to him about it. It was like a single, hooked claw dragging its way through him.

The screen flipped to Sirius, his gray eyes focused on the reporter’s grin. His own smile was small. The reporter threw him softball after softball, and Sirius answered them shortly. Remus waited, waited for it to happen, for the interview to take the turn they all expected.

But the reporter held out his hand. “Great to have you in the League, my friend. Have a great weekend, eh?”

Sirius stared at the hand, the camera zooming in a little.

“Ah, yes,” Sirius said haltingly, and took his hand. “Thank you.”

Remus sat forward.

“Well, that was okay,” Leo said, sounding out of breath.

“Yeah…” Remus said. He wasn’t ready to believe it was over yet, though.

“So, Sirius,” another reporter said. “You’ve been in the news lately, huh?”

“Oh, here we fucking go, eh?” Kasey gestured angrily at the screen.

“I’m in the news a lot,” Sirius said blankly. “More than I’d like.”

She laughed. “But first openly gay NHL player. That’s got to feel good?”

Sirius stared at her.

“He wasn’t,” Remus sat back again, cheeks hot as he stared at the microphone that was being held closer and closer to Sirius’ mouth. “You fucking lunatic, what is open about this to you?”

“Preach, Loops,” Natalie said, leaning over to pat his knee.

“I’m looking forward to a good weekend,” Sirius said. “Playing some good hockey.”

“I—”

But Sirius was already walking away, in fact, walking past all the cameras. The television camera caught some reporters staring at Minnie with alarmed eyes, angry at missing their interview with Sirius Black.

They could just see a glimpse of Minnie’s head following Sirius as the camera tracked his back all the way into the building.

Commercials filled the room.

“Wowza,” Finn said. “Okay.”

“I think it’s good he didn’t stick around for those guys,” Leo said. “I mean, he shouldn’t be made to talk about it like that, you know?”

“Yeah, maybe he should talk to me first,” Remus grumbled and took a long sip of his cocktail.

“Yes, Lupin,” Natalie clapped. “Bitch all you want, we know we all love him. It’s all good.”

Remus did want that, at least a little. It even made him smile, Natalie’s words. But most of him was longing for Sirius, for his phone to ring. He kept it close, even as the screen played another two hours of Sirius and all the other All-Stars signing puck after puck, doing stupid game after stupid game, preparing for the skills competitions tomorrow, and the three-on-three games the day after that.

Sirius was exhausted. The day had been camera after camera, signature after signature. He could have fallen asleep on his feet, but Logan’s promise kept his adrenaline up. Remus’ text, too.

Thankfully, he and Logan had shared a car back to the hotel.

“Your room,” Logan said simply, and pressed the elevator button.

They were mostly quiet on their way up, and Sirius’ hands fumbled a little with the keycard as he let Logan in. His suitcase was still zipped up where the bell-boy had left it, and Logan took his jacket off, tossing it onto the bed. Sirius heard the door shut behind them, and then it was quiet.

“Là,” Logan sighed, crossing the room and then turning around to face Sirius. “Straight to it, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed.

“I don’t want to sound like I know more than you. Because I don’t. I really, really don’t, but, this is just something I think you should know.”

Sirius looked at Logan carefully, wondering what he meant.

“Knowing about you, knowing that you’re…” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Gay,” Sirius said.

“Gay,” Logan finished. “Cap, it,” he looked around, but they were alone. He took a step forward. “Sirius, it did more for me than I could ever tell you.”

Sirius felt the words sink in slowly. He looked at Logan. Really looked at him. Brighter. He stood straighter. He looked more focused.

“You mean you’re…”

“I get that you think you’re the only one, that you’re alone in all of this,” Logan said. “I thought that. I felt that. It nearly crushed me. But you aren’t. I’m not alone, either. Neither of us are alone, but…but you’re on one hell of a precipice.”

Sirius knew what he meant.

“I ran from him.”

“Yeah,” Logan said. “What the fuck, Sirius?”

“I know,” Sirius felt like the air was leaving the room. “I’m horrible.”

“You aren’t,” Logan said, and looked up at Sirius. “But, that was. That was horrible. But you must have talked, I mean, it’s been…what? Two days?”

Shame burned Sirius through and through. “No,” he choked out. “We haven’t. He’s—he’s waiting for me—”

The words hurt. Remus seemed always to be waiting for Sirius, and Sirius always asking Remus to wait. It had seemed romantic, under the veil of Christmas and gifts. It didn’t feel that way now. Sirius felt selfish and cruel. He was.

“I left—” Logan reached up, as if to take off his hat that wasn’t there, and then smoothed his unruly hair instead. “I left Finn so many times.”

Sirius jerked his head up. Finn.

“And I was so scared and guilty because of that, that I left Leo, too.”

“Leo?” Sirius said, confused. “You…wait, I don’t—”

“Both of them,” Logan said simply. “Yeah, it’s…” despite everything, Logan smiled. “It’s…yeah. It’s us.”

Three, Sirius thought. On his own team, and he—he had thought—

“How could you do that?” Logan said softly. “How could you do that to him?”

Sirius stared at Logan, throat closed. He swallowed over the bile.

A mistake. He had made a mistake, of course he had made a mistake, he always made—

“Cap, I saw you,” Logan stepped forward. “I saw you every day and I didn’t know why, but you were happy. You were so fucking happy and I thought maybe you were just…I don’t know. I was jealous, to be honest,” Logan let out a short laugh. “I wanted to know how you did it. And now I see because I did it. I found my…” Logan took a breath, as if this was the first time he was saying it aloud. “I found my two.”

I lost my one, Sirius thought.

“You’re like my brother,” Logan said. “And, growing up with three sisters, I’ve always wanted a brother. I’ve looked up to you since I was, what, in high school? And you deserve that, Cap. You’re good, and you’re kind, and you’re a hell of a hockey player.” Logan shook his head. “But fuck what you did to Remus.”

“I don’t know what to say!” Sirius shouted, and Logan blinked at the suddenness. It had burst out of Sirius, the words hiding until he couldn’t, he couldn’t—

Sirius sat on the end of his bed. He was exhausted, and Logan hated him, and—

The bed dipped beside him and Logan’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. The sudden warmth at his side made Sirius close his eyes, dropping his head.

“Cap,” Logan’s voice was soft. “Merde, this is coming for someone who didn’t say a word about how they felt to the boy the loved for eight fucking years, but, yes, you do know what to say. I always knew what to say, I just couldn’t.”

“I can’t,” Sirius said.

“Sirius, fucking think for yourself,” Logan said, taking hold of Sirius’ shoulders and turning him to the side to face each other. “I said I couldn’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t. We can now. Who the fuck knows what your fucking family said to you all your life, but that doesn’t mean they’re right. All the shitty things Twitter said are wrong—everyone is allowed to be wrong but what the fuck are you doing if you can’t fix things?”

Logan was breathing hard by the end. He swallowed over a dry throat and Sirius watched, stunned. Logan shook his head, eyes bright.

“I saw what happened to you and I got angry and scared. You saw what happened to you and you got scared. You need to get angry. Drop the fucking gloves a little, Black, lose your temper. I’ve seen it before. It’s like a dead point streak mid-season. You fucking accept that you can’t score anymore? No.”

I don’t know how many times you’ve heard that you aren’t good enough. But I’m going to make you forget each one.

“I’m fucking mad at you,” Logan said. “But it’s because I love you. Not because you’re bad or because you’re hopeless, or because you made a mistake. You aren’t a bad person. And you’re allowed to make mistakes.”

Do not make any mistakes, his mother had said.

Logan let go of him, then, and the sat there shoulder to shoulder, quiet. Sirius felt—lighter. He’d never felt that after being yelled at before.

“Tremz,” he began shakily, then cleared his scratchy throat. “I’m…I’m proud of you, you know? If that means anything right now.”

Logan’s voice was thick, too. “Of course it does.”

“You’re right,” Sirius whispered. “You’re right, I…I made a horrible mistake. I had never been so terrified in my life. If I lost the team, I—I don’t know what…” Sirius pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “You all are the only family I ever…”

Logan was quiet for a moment, and then his hand replaced itself on Sirius’ back.

“It’s not just about Remus, huh?”

Sirius let out a sob, let it tear through him, and shook his head.

“Cap,” Logan hushed, and Sirius felt him press his forehead to Sirius’ temple, like they did after a goal sometimes, in a scrimmage, only there was no helmet. No hockey. This was his friend. “You’re our Captain. We gave you that, and we keep you there. We want you there, you’re our leader. You’re our friend.”

“Have you talked to the boys?” Sirius wiped at his eyes, looking at Logan. “Have they said anything?”

“No one’s texted you because Leo thought we should all let you tell us in the way you wanted to,” Logan said. “Not because no one supports you. To be honest, we didn’t think you’d go radio silent for this long when we made that decision, but… And after you didn’t let James in…”

“I have a lot of people to talk to, huh?”

Logan smiled. “Not right now. Right now, you have one person to talk to.”

Sirius smiled, too. “Yeah.”

Fuck, he hadn’t looked at his phone all day.

Logan got up and stretched with a groan. “That media run was hell. Fuck this weekend. If I so much as pull a muscle tomorrow I’m going to murder someone.”

“That’s what we all say,” Sirius stood too. “Tremzy.”

Logan looked up at him.

“I’m really happy for you. You and Finn…and Leo,” Sirius laughed a little. “How did that work out?”

“So much drama,” Logan rolled his eyes. “And moping. And, what’s the word, destin?”

“Fate,” Sirius said.

“Right, fate,” Logan smiled. “See? Not so different from you.”

“Guess not, no.”

“I’m going to call my boys,” Logan said, and held up his phone, shaking it at Sirius. “You call yours.”

Sirius’ heart lurched with guilt, but he nodded. “I will. Really, though, I…I don’t know what I’d be doing now if you weren’t here.”

“Spiraling, like you did after that failed cup run?”

Sirius laughed. “Yes.”

Logan swung his jacket over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow, Cap. I’ll be ready to defend your honor.”

“No, you aren’t allowed to fight because of this.”

“D’accord, d’accord,” Logan waved him off and shut the door.

Sirius stood there, feeling strangely light, given everything. He blinked after Logan for a moment, and vowed to call James, too, who had pounded on his door for hours. He felt stupid and selfish still, but he wanted to apologize. Not hide. But only after. After Remus.

Sirius took his phone from his pocket.

He had a voicemail. Remus hadn’t left a voicemail before. Sirius thought of the cold, formal text. He didn’t know if he could bare to hear that in Remus’ voice, but he clicked listen anyway.

“Sirius,” Remus’ voice came after a second, and Sirius sat down heavily.

I know you’re—busy and I’m not going to beg you to talk to me, I… Just re-watch your arrival. I’m not going to beg, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for you to see. See if you really care what those sort of people think about you.

The phone went dead and Sirius scrambled for his remote.

Everyone had left for the night, but the apartment still felt warm from their presence. Remus decided to make himself a bowl of ice cream, but found himself eating straight from the carton instead. Finn really had made all-gone.

He was watching the melted part pool in his spoon when his phone rang. Everything, even the air, seemed to still and cool.

Sirius.

The name flashed at him. He hadn’t dared to put a contact photo, a picture of him that Remus had taken, bare in bed, sleepy eyed and smiling—

Now, maybe he could. One day. Soon.

Remus pushed himself up to sit on his kitchen counter. He set his ice cream down, feet swinging nervously against the cupboards, and answered the call.

“Hi,” Remus’ voice was shot.

“I didn’t have my phone,” Sirius sounded desperate. Remus’ heart broke. “No, that’s not an excuse, I…Remus—”

“For the last thirty calls, or…”

“I know,” Sirius whispered. “I know, I know, Re, oh god, what they said about you—”

“I’ve been defending you to—to everyone,” Remus’ voice was thick. “Everyone, but I don’t…I can’t…”

“I’m coming home,” Sirius said. “Fuck these games, Remus, I’m coming home.”

Remus didn’t say anything for a long moment. He could picture Sirius there, alone in his hotel room. “I don’t know what to tell you right now, I’m… It hurt, Sirius. You left. You left and then you ignored me.”

“I know I did,” Sirius whispered. “But—”

“You aren’t the only one who this happened to,” Remus said, hushed, and then, even surprising himself, let out a sudden sob. He tried to reign it back in, but he couldn’t. It burned now, hearing Sirius’ voice, being alone. It hurt more than it had. He didn’t know if he had been ignoring it, or pushing through it, or if it was just hearing Sirius know that he had been wrong.

“I know that,” Sirius said. “I do, Remus, I know that. I made a mistake. I made a mistake. The meeting. I should have taken a later flight, too, I should have talked to you. I shouldn’t have run out, that was—I’m—”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone,” Remus replied with a hitch in his words. He stirred the spoon in the melted ice cream, just for something to do, then gave up and fisted his sweatshirt by his neck. “I know I said call me, but I really—I really want it to be us together talking, okay?”

“You mean…after the games?”

Remus took a slow breath. “I’m not just going to say everything’s okay, Sirius. It fucking hurt. All of it. And I know you’re hurting, too. I hate that you’re hurting, too, but…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Sirius felt guilt like it was something crawling inside of him. “I’ll—let me wait for you now.”

Remus let out a breath, remembering the words.

“I…I understand why what happened happened,” Remus said. “I do. Of course, I understand. And all I want is for you to be okay. For us to be okay. I just need my own time, too.”

“I want that. Please, just—let me tell you one thing,” Sirius said. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah,” Remus said softly, curious. “Go for it.”

“I talked to Logan. Well—he also talked to me. Really gave it to me. I deserved it.”

“Don’t put yourself down to me right now,” Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

“I’m not, no, I’m not,” there was a sound like Sirius sitting down on the bed. “I…I won’t explain it all to you now, but I just need you to know that things are clearer for me. I’m…I’m not alone.”

“You never were,” Remus managed.

Remus listened as Sirius’ breathing changed into cries. Remus wanted to hold him tight.

“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Remus said softly. “Be careful, okay? With everyone this weekend. Snape. Regulus.”

Your mother, Remus thought.

“Logan will be with me,” Sirius said, and then added, as if remembering, “and I’ll be with Logan.”

Remus nodded. So Logan had told him.

“Protect each other.”

Sirius nodded. “And everyone else who needs it.”

Remus sucked in a breath, and cradled the phone closer, eyes soft.

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Yeah, baby, everyone else, too.”

At the name, Sirius sounded all but torn apart. He let it out, lungs out racing his heart.

“I miss you,” he choked out. “Am I allowed to say that?”

“Yes,” Remus hushed him. “Sirius, I’m mad, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. Of course I want you, you’re mine. You’re my wish, okay? This happened because we’re each other’s. We can be—we can be something good that comes out of this, can’t we?”

“Oui, yes, yes,” Sirius said. “I’ll tell you everything, okay?” He sniffed, taking a moment to breathe. “It’s different, hearing these things from my friends. From you.”

“You haven’t had a lot of support, Sirius. I…I get that it’s going to take a second. And so…I’m here, okay? But I’m not here to run back to if you keep leaving me. That wasn’t good. That was…” Remus would never forget that feeling.

“I’ll be better,” Sirius said, and then sucked in a breath. “I mean…for myself. For you.”

Remus nodded, even though he knew Sirius couldn’t see him.

“I’m going to try and sleep,” Sirius said.

“I miss you,” Remus replied.

“I miss you, too,” Sirius said. “So much.”

Sirius stepped out of the tunnel and immediately his eyes were drawn by flashes of color near the glass. There were six teenagers standing there. Their cheeks were decked out in painted on rainbow flags, and they were wrapped in them, too, holding paper versions up to the glass with the words HERE FOR #12 on them.

All Sirius could think about was going over there and maybe crying. Instead, he picked up a few pucks to sign.

The locker room had been—intense. There was no way Sirius could have missed the way some guys had moved away from him, avoided him. But others came up and shook his hand. They didn’t say much, but Sirius didn’t really want to be congratulated. The support, even quiet, was enough to keep him on his feet and focused enough to feel like, sure, he could perform some hockey tricks today.

And Remus’ words. We’re each other’s.

“Sometimes I think hockey just isn’t colorful enough, you know?”

When the voice spoke, Sirius’ eyes found the stick that had come into his vision first. The tape wasn’t the usual white or black, but all colors, neatly wrapped and waxed off.

Sirius looked up to find Alex O’Hara grinning widely at him.

“What’s up, Lion?”

“Hi, Alex,” Sirius said faintly, as they tapped helmets.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he gestured to the tape.

Sirius, to his own surprise, let out a laugh. “Of course I don’t, I… I should have thought of it, maybe.”

“You want some?”

Sirius looked at the pucks he was holding, then back at the kids at the glass.

“Yeah,” he nodded, setting the pucks aside for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“Alex,” Logan stopped hard in front of them with a spray of ice. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

Alex laughed, and then leaned in close. “Oh, yeah? More than my brother?”

Logan flushed pink beneath his tan skin. Then, he grinned and punched his arm. “How long have you known?”

Alex scoffed. “Please.”

And so Sirius found himself, sitting beside Logan as they re-taped their sticks with rainbow tape, while millions of cameras and cell-phones watched.

It was terrifying. And wonderful. It was something that went along with the phrase never in a million years, in Sirius’ mind. Only, it was happening now.

“Could I get some of that maybe?”

It was Mika Zibanejad, his hair pulled back beneath his helmet, dark eyes kind and soft.

It was the flood gates.

Sidney Crosby, Kris Letang. Braden Holtby, Nate MacKinnon.

Not every player did it, not by far, but they did have to ask for another roll.

Sirius’ breathing was working against his pounding heart when he took to the ice again, throwing a puck down and watching it bounce darkly between the colors. He smiled, and looked up at the kids behind the glass again.

Silver sharpies were not in short supply, and he fired off six signatures before skating over with them balanced within his arms. They began to pound on the glass as he approached, and he nodded to them. They were hard to hear over the crowd and the announcer’s noise, but he smiled and mouthed thank you, and they seemed to understand. He flipped the pucks over the glass easily, and bumped his fisted glove to it.

They loved him for who he was.

And Logan had been right. His team would, too. The thought that they wouldn’t still chilled him, but there were two sides of the coin now.

It even made him forget about—

“Stop this,” Regulus was there, hissing at him and grabbing him by the arm as he skated back with Logan, who had wandered over to a little boy with a Tremblay sign and jersey.

Sirius stared at his brother, surprised that he’d even approached.

“What are you—” he began, but Logan cut him off.

“Back off,” Logan growled, and gave him a little push. Sirius cursed internally. He didn’t want to start a fight right now.

Regulus ignored him.

“Sirius—” Regulus said quietly. “Think about—”

“Don’t tell me to think about the family,” Sirius practically snarled. “I’m thinking about myself for once. What I want.”

“Think about what you’re doing,” Regulus said, glancing at Logan desperately, like he wanted him to leave. “This is it, if you really—”

Sirius shook his head, yanking out of his brother’s grip. “I tried to take you with me, Reg. I tried so hard. And what did you do?”

“Fuck you,” Logan spat in Regulus’ face. “You call yourself his brother? When was the last fucking time you acted like that? Oh, right, was it when you trashed talked him?”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Regulus growled. He had switched to French now.

“Rookie,” Snape said in English from the outskirts of their triad, eyes on Regulus. “Come on.”

“Daddy’s calling,” Logan snarled.“La marionnette.”

Sirius watched his brother swallow, pale eyes wide and fierce.

Puppet, Logan had said.

“Tremz,” Sirius said, and put a hand on his shoulder.

Regulus looked to Sirius, then.

“Microphone?” he asked.

Regulus was asking if he was mic’d up. Sirius shook his head, and Logan scoffed.

“Little late,” Logan said.

Regulus, once again, ignored him. “Maman est là.”

“Je l’ai deviné,” Sirius had guessed as much.

Logan was still standing between them, but he looked like he wasn’t sure if he should be now.

Regulus pushed forward one stride, and Logan’s glove pressed against his chest. Regulus glared down at him, then turned back to Sirius. He was nearly as tall as him now, but for a single moment, Regulus’ expression flickered. Sirius saw his brother again, his little brother, the boy who had snuck him a Lions hat and hugged him and told him he’d miss him more than anything, and please don’t leave me alone in this house, with them—

“Fais attention,” Regulus bit out.

Be careful.

Regulus shoved Logan with his stick and Logan cursed again, but Sirius barely heard. He watched Regulus skate away, back to Snape’s side. Sirius and Snape looked at each other, across the ice, for a brief moment.

Sirius didn’t think Regulus would ever forgive him for leaving. Especially not with Snape at his side.

Snape’s lip curled, and he turned away, over the boards.

“That’s my big brother!” Finn shouted.

Remus laughed, hand on his throat as he stared at the screen, at Sirius, sitting on the bench beside Logan and Alex O’Hara, Zibanejad, Panarin, Crosby, Letang, Holtby…

Sirius, camera honing in on his focused face as he scribbled the signature that Remus knew well. The camera had been showing the fans wrapped in rainbow flags off and on, and it showed them now, too, as Sirius skated over with a wide, if not a little shy, smile on his face. He sort of talked to them, mostly just nodding and bumping fists as he passed the pucks over.

The camera saw Regulus coming before Sirius did.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Finn sat up in Leo’s arms, pulling him with him. “Black brothers, Black brothers.”

“Fuck,” Remus said, and felt Lily grab his wrist nervously.

Regulus and Sirius were talking furiously at each other, at least until Logan got between them.

“I swear to god, someone’s gotta get that kid out of Slytherin,” Kasey grumbled. “He’s like the Captain was, but on steroids.”

Remus nodded slowly, eyes on Regulus’, or at least what sliver of his face the camera was able to get.

Kasey hit Remus’ couch with his fist when they showed a long shot of Snape and Sirius. They were practically staring each other down.

“Can I just,” Kasey gestured at the television. “Can I kill him? Or shave his head?”

“Fine with it,” James nodded.

Leo glanced at Kasey. “I like that that’s your next worst fate after death.”

The cameras moved on relatively quickly as the skill events began. Hardest shot, accuracy, puck handling…

“So, Cap is accuracy, and Lo’s hardest shot,” Leo said, staring at his phone as he scrolled through the website.

“I wanna see how hard Logan can shoot,” Finn mumbled, and Leo whacked him on the head. Natalie nearly cackled and gave Finn a pat on the head.

Remus couldn’t stop looking at the tape on Sirius’ stick.

“Quite a display of camaraderie, seemingly begun by Alex O’Hara, older brother of Finn O’Hara who is Black’s teammate,” one of the commentators began. He was a new voice from yesterday’s red carpet. “It’s good to see that, eh, Tom?”

Remus liked him.

“Sure is, Nate,” replied Tom. “Sure is.”

“Well, that’s more like it,” Remus sighed.

No matter how fun it was to watch Sirius execute a perfect score as he dangled a puck between tight cones and flipped it through tiny slots, Remus itched to talk to him. He itched to see him.

He loved seeing the sticks tap for him, see other boys knock helmets with him like nothing had changed, but still. Remus wanted him home. He wanted him away from Regulus and Snape, and here in Gryffindor, or anywhere where support was strong. Remus had spent hours last night after the team had left scrolling through articles and Twitter. His mind was filled with the messages telling Sirius that he’d changed their life.

He couldn’t believe he had to sit through another entire day of this, watching Sirius play three-on-three games—possibly against Snape.

“Hey, Leo, did they announce the lines for tomorrow yet?” Remus asked. “Would you look it up for me?”

“Sure,” Leo said, looking around Finn’s head to get at his phone.

“The boys aren’t going for fastest?�� Lily said disappointedly.

James snorted. “Um, I think we know Remus wins that one, Lils.”

Finn shook his head. “I’m still like, at family skate…I fucking fell over. I haven’t fallen over since, like, I don’t even know.”

Remus smiled. “Sorry about that, Harzy.”

“You really tore Kasey up, Fruit-Loop,” Natalie laughed, reaching up to push her hand through Kasey’s hair.

“Look, he’s really good, I was surprised, and I hadn’t warmed up, okay? I was surprised.”

Remus laughed. “I did have that up on you, Bliz. I’ll admit it, and give you a free pass.”

“No,” Kasey huffed. “I don’t want a free pass, I want to play again and stop your shot.”

“Fuck,” Leo breathed, and Remus stopped laughing.

“What? Is it Snape? Did they put them on the same line?”

Remus knew they liked to do that at All-Stars, put rivals on the same line. Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux were frequent victims.

Leo looked back at him, then up at the television where Regulus was taking his mark for the fasted skater loop.

“Not Snape,” Leo said. “Regulus.”

As if on cue, the announcer spoke up.

“And here’s Regulus Black getting ready to skate. We’ll be getting a real treat tomorrow, Nate. We’ll be getting to see Sirius and Regulus Black, hockey’s most famous brothers right now, play on the same line with Mathew Barzal. That should be quite some hockey.”

“Oh my god,” Remus heard someone breathe.

Quite some hockey.

Remus wondered if Sirius knew.

On everyone’s way out, Lily squeezed him in a hug. “You seem better today. Did you guys…”

Remus nodded. “We talked. It was…you know, it’s hard. It was good.”

“Yeah…”

“But I said I want to talk about it mostly face to face and so…all I can really do is wait now. I’m probably going to call him again now. See if he wants to talk about Regulus.”

Remus was absolutely going to call him again now.

“Okay,” Lily sent him a smile. “See you tomorrow for three-on-three?”

“Hang out at Lupin’s,” Finn hollered in the hallway and was immediately shushed by Leo.

“Jesus, Harzy,” Kasey groaned as he hit the button on the elevator.

Remus was in the middle of doing dishes when his phone rang. He wiped his hands quickly and picked up, nearly fumbling his phone into the sink.

“Hi,” Remus sounded breathless even to himself.

“Hey,” Sirius said. “Do you want to FaceTime?”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Yeah, yeah, one second.”

Remus more or less ran to the couch, socks sliding on the floor, and sat down just in time for his phone to light up. Sirius’ face filled the screen. His hair was wet from a shower, and Remus didn’t know if it was the light, but the bags under his eyes looked worse than Remus had thought.

“Hi,” Remus said softly, smiling. “God, I’ve been staring at your face all day on TV but I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Sirius smiled, rubbing one of his eyes before stretching back on the bed. “Wish I could stare at your face all day.”

“You’ll be home soon,” Remus said. “Hey, I…today was pretty amazing.”

Sirius laughed and reached out of frame for something. His hand came back swinging a roll of rainbow tape around his finger. “A fan gave me this.”

Remus grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”

Sirius looked at him for a moment, like he wasn’t sure what to say. Then, he smiled again, but it was quieter this time, less at Remus and more at himself.

“Me too. Today was—good. I mean…you probably saw Reg, but…”

Remus nodded. “Did you see your lines for tomorrow?”

Sirius shook his head. “Not yet. Why, are they up?”

Remus took a breath. “Yeah. They’re up.”

The All-Stars management seemed to enjoy the idea of putting Sirius and his brother together as much as possible, even going so far as moving their lockers beside each other. It felt like there was always a camera trained on the two of them, and Sirius had never been more on edge. The only good take away from this, it seemed, was that people weren’t asking him about his sexuality anymore.

“You’re welcome,” Minnie had said when Sirius had mentioned it to her in the car over to the arena that morning with Logan and Clyde.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I had to give them something, Sirius,” Minnie said. “They need their publicity. I hate it as much as you, but I thought this would be better.”

Sirius had to give Minnie some credit for that PR move, actually. At least with his brother, Sirius was used to dealing with the hounding.

“As Harzy would say,” Logan said from his seat, headphones on one ear and making his hair stick up. He raised his sickly-sweet coffee at her. “Bitch-ass move, Minnie.”

“Why, thank you for that assessment, Mr. Tremblay.”

Sirius was just as thankful for Remus’ heads up about the game lines, even though he would have found out this morning anyway.

He only wished he had had one about Greyback. Sirius’ line, consisting of himself, Regulus, and Barzal, were set to face off against Greyback, Tom Wilson from the Washington Capitals, and Tony DeAngelo from the New York Rangers.

There was no fighting in All-Stars, which was a shame.

Cameras had followed him all the way into the locker room, where Regulus had cleared his throat awkwardly as he sat down beside Sirius and started dressing. Sirius felt a strong pang in his heart. They had done this with each other a million times. He hated that it felt so strange.

“Maman—”

“I don’t give a damn,” Sirius whispered lowly, using French so there were at least fewer people around them who could keep up. “And you shouldn’t either.”

Regulus laughed, and he made it look mirthful for the sake of the cameras. So, he was learning. There was no humor in his eyes.

“Do I have a choice?” he said.

“I did.”

“Yeah, well, I think we all know how you chose.”

“Regulus,” Sirius sighed.

“Drop it,” his brother bit back.

But this was the longest they had been and would be together in probably months. Maybe years, if Sirius counted his family. He didn’t want to drop it.

Sirius pulled him aside in the locker room while the cameras had to follow the stream of players leaving for the tunnel. It was a brief moment of privacy.

“I would have done anything to get you out with me,” Sirius whispered intently, and pressed his glove to his little brother’s helmet, keeping them close. “Anything. But I couldn’t help you if I was trapped there with you. Maman’s, the Snakes, either one. I had to get out. And then—”

“You don’t know what it was like,” Regulus’ voice came out shaky, and Sirius realized he had tears in his eyes. Regulus closed them quickly, head bowed so that their helmets tapped together. “You left, they lost you, and so they doubled down. I couldn’t—I couldn’t breathe. I can’t breathe.”

Sirius stared at him. In some ways, this hurt more than anything that had happened in the past few days. This hurt more, his little brother, his to protect.

“Reg…” Sirius began.

“You don’t know what he’s like,” Regulus whispered, and then, like he was afraid to say the words aloud. “Snape. Malfoy.” He swallowed, and added, even quieter so that Sirius could barely hear. “Riddle.”

“Mon étoile…” Sirius said. He hadn’t said the old nickname since they were little, and Regulus jolted to look at him. Stars, the two of them. “I’m sorry. Please, let me help you.”

“They made me hate you,” Regulus said. “But I never did.”

They both looked up when the locker room was beginning to empty out. Their moment was over.

“Let’s play,” Sirius said. “Let’s play, and then let’s talk, d’accord?”

“They made me delete your number, but I memorized it,” Regulus said. “Is it the same?”

Sirius closed his eyes, then nodded. “Oui.”

“D’accord,” Regulus said, then jerked his head towards the tunnel.

Sirius tapped Regulus’ chest with his glove. “Allez.”

Sirius followed him towards the tunnel, going out last. People would play it off as a strange superstition, but Sirius knew there would be pictures of him and Regulus talking anyway. He felt different this weekend. For obvious reasons, and not.

His life had always had a path, and that path had always been set. If it changed, the breaks had been slow. A trade deal. A contract. Longing for Remus. Everything had happened with time.

Not this. He was out. He was proud. It was an earthquake, a fault slipping. Regulus needed him, he didn’t hate him, after so long believing otherwise. An aftershock.

He was half way to the tunnel when he saw her.

Another slip.

His mother stood against the wall, her too thin body all in black, hair inky. She spared a short look to Regulus, but followed Sirius with her eyes. Minnie was standing beside her.

Sirius stopped walking.

Regulus, seeming to sense that Sirius wasn’t behind him anymore, stopped, too. Sirius held out his stick, telling him to stay put, and made his way over to the two women.

Sirius’ mother’s lip curled in what maybe appeared to be a smile. “Sirius,” she held out her arms. “I have so much to say to my son—”

Sirius turned at the last minute, minutely. It was a classic play, a fake out right in front of the net. He watched his mother realize his side-step at the last moment when it was too late.

Sirius hugged Minnie close to his chest.

“Regulus,” he whispered, and let go.

“Sirius?” Walburga’s laugh was high. “I beg your pardon?”

“You can’t have it,” Sirius said, and looked her straight in the eye. He towered over her. He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized that before. He looked to Regulus, then at Minnie, and then back at the dark woman.

“Never contact us again,” he said, and then turned towards the tunnel and into the bright lights, eyes on his brightly colored stick tape, and on his brother walking ahead of him.

“Welcome back to the 2020 All-Star weekend, everyone! As you can see, the players are out on the ice and this news has just reached us. It seems that Sirius Black has just thrown his own mother out of the arena.”

“Say what?” Natalie yelled.

The commentator laughed. “I know, Nate, this is very…well, there have been rumors about the Black family. I really thought they were, you know, classic hockey parents. Sirius seems to have taken matters into his own hands. He deserves to, honestly, after what he’s been through these past days. What a kid, I—oh, man, hold on everyone, we’ve got a fight!”

Remus and Lily both yelped when the camera cut away quickly from where Patrick Kane and Artemi Panarin had been joking around, and to Sirius—beside Fenrir Greyback, to Remus’ horror—throwing a punch.

“Sirius Black,” a voice said, and Sirius took a long breath through his nose, and turned.

Fenrir Greyback, American, had perfectly straight, light brown hair, cropped short and sticking up in the front. His face was scruffy, and when he smiled, his thin lips revealed sharp canine teeth. The teeth beside his jolly laugh made for an eerie sight. Knowing he was the same age as Remus unsettled Sirius. He didn’t look it. He had the timeless look of a corpse, skin waxy and smooth safe for a bad scar, a skate cut, raking over his left cheek. Greyback leaned against his stick, smile in place.

“We have a game soon, don’t we? You and your cubs will be coming to Vegas.”

“Looks like.”

“Ready to lose?”

Sirius smiled wryly. “What sort of question is that?”

Fenrir shrugged. “How is Lupin these days? He was quite a player.”

Sirius could feel the cameras on them, but decided he didn’t care if they were mic’d. The crowd was roaring, he had seen Vegas fans taking pictures with Fenrir. They deserved to know who they were supporting.

“Before you destroyed his career, you mean?” Sirius said evenly.

Logan looked up, eyes wide, from where he had been re-lacing his skate.

Fenrir laughed. “Still pushing that story, huh? Look, man, if you watch the tape it was a clean hit.”

“How the fuck could it have been clean? You ruined his shoulder.”

“Oh, his shoulder. Well, that’s a different story,” Fenrir nodded, as if remembering, and then looked at Sirius, his sick grin still in place. “And there’s no video of that.”

Sirius’ entire bloodstream went cold. He thought of Remus. His panicked expression whenever any conversation got close to his hockey career, his mom’s worried one. But Remus had said, a bad hit, Fenrir…

“No proof,” Fenrir shrugged, and then gripped Sirius’ shoulder, fingers digging into his pads. Louder, so that the other players around them could hear, he said, “Really sorry that he had to stop playing, though. I heard it was one hell of a car accident.”

A fourth shock-wave, rocking his Earth.

“Holy fuck,” Finn said loudly. “What is happening? What is happening?”

Remus couldn’t look away from the screen, from where Sirius basically had Fenrir in a choke hold, the momentum of their swings propelling them in a slow, oblong circle as the other players backed away from the sudden fight.

“Jesus, what do you think he said?” Finn asked.

Kuny, who had decided to join them today, shook his head. “Shit-head player, doesn’t matter. Go Cap. I punch him also, when we play Vegas.”

“Remus, you said you played together?” Leo questioned. “Was he a shit-head in college, too?”

“I…” Remus began, and the whistles blew on screens, refs skating forward to pull the two players off of each other.

“Well, man-oh-man, Rob,” one of the commentators said. “I wonder what he said.”

“One could guess,” replied Rob.

Remus felt dread swirling in his stomach. They couldn’t guess, but Remus could. Remus was the only one who knew aside from Greyback.

Remus could still taste the bile from the biting pain of Greyback’s fingers, ripping into the muscle between his neck and shoulder. His hand covered it instinctively.

You hurt it in the game and didn’t tell anyone, Greyback had spat at him. That’s your lie. Remember, I know about you.

He hadn’t, of course. Remus knew that now. It was a bluff, an easy sentence that could mean anything to anyone. Everyone had secrets. Greyback had simply put faith in just how powerfully Remus’ secret would hold him.

Enough for Remus to tell his training staff that he had been hiding a very serious shoulder injury. Festering muscle tears, dislocated, would heal wrong for sure, not a worthy investment, not anymore—

“Remus?” Kasey said.

Well. Remus’ secret was out now. Fenrir’s could be, too.

“He’s the reason I don’t play anymore,” Remus said quietly.

Lily sat forward, hand on her belly. “What do you mean, Re?”

“He was your bad hit?” Finn asked in a hushed voice. “Was it—on purpose?”

Remus pressed his lips together, trying to steady his breath. “It wasn’t even on the ice. He cornered me in one of the recovery rooms. My routine used to be long, I would stay after the other guys, cool down, stretch, you guys know.” Remus kept his gaze steady on the television where they were zoomed in on Logan and Sirius speaking with their heads close together. Sirius would no doubt have a black eye in a few hours.

“Ripped my shoulder apart,” Remus said softly. “Told me if I told anyone he’d tell my secret.”

“He knew?” Leo said. He sounded horrified. “And that’s what he did?”

Remus shook his head. “He didn’t know. I was too careful. But everyone has secrets, don’t they? I guess he just put his bets in the right place. Some people do.”

“And you never said anything,” Kasey said. “Jesus, Loops.”

“Well, now everyone knows my secret, eh? And I didn’t want to be that guy, blaming the end of their career on someone, some other player. No one would have believed me. And now, it’s so long ago, what does it matter?”

“It matters,” James said urgently. “It does. We can—we should do something.”

“Maybe,” Remus said. “But not now. Not with all of this.”

“And Sirius? He know?” Kuny asked.

Remus looked at the television. ““I think he just found out.”

Which was stupid of Greyback, really. What did he expect Sirius to do? Laugh along?

The game had resumed. Greyback, Wilson, and DeAngelo were lined against Sirius, Regulus, and Barzal. Sirius and Regulus were talking. They bumped fists before taking position. Remus blinked. That was new.

“What the fuck, are we friends now?” Kasey mumbled, intent on the screen.

Sirius scored easily, like a fire was at his heels. Remus loved that look he got in his eyes. The camera zoomed in on their celebration. Sirius wasn’t smiling, but he clutched Regulus and Barzal to him. Barzal looked a little hesitant, like he could sense he was in the middle of something that he knew nothing about.

As Sirius skated towards the bench for glove taps, he found a camera and stopped. The camera held, of course. Sirius Black was looking right at it. Sirius wedge his glove under his arm and reached for his neck.

“What’s happening,” Finn whispered again. He had his hands in his hair, like everything was too suspenseful.

Meanwhile, Remus’ heart was clattering down his ribs.

Sirius withdrew the silver and gold number twelve necklace, gray eyes steely.

He pressed the numbers to his lips.

“Oh…” Remus whispered, hand over his neck.

Sirius’ eyes grew soft as he tucked the necklace, Remus’ gift, safely back into his jersey. Like he knew Remus was gazing at him, too. Remus felt his entire world zero in on this moment. That was for him. Sirius was defending him.

An animal sound came from James.

“Necklace,” James shouted. “Fuck me!”

“Yeah, you’re the only one who was still working on that, sweetheart,” Natalie said.

Lily laughed. “But we love you.”

“We do.”

Remus gripped his watch, thumb rubbing over the face.

I love you. I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.

He would be home tomorrow.

Remus’ chest was a scrap of feeling. His heart was warm, his blood cool, his neck hot, his hands shaky.

Home tomorrow.

The cameras that had swarmed Sirius a moment ago now swarmed Regulus’ stall. Regulus had a towel around his neck, sweat dripping into his eyes. They were lighter though. He kept looking at Sirius, and Sirius remained seated in his stall, showing him that he was staying right where he was. He wasn’t leaving him.

“Regulus, do you have any…” the reporter glanced at Sirius and seemed smart enough to make his question vague. “…thoughts on your brother? Or, what was it like playing with him today? How long has it been?”

Regulus was slow in answering. He wiped his face, adjusted the hat he had on backwards. They look so much alike it’s scary, Sirius heard a reporter whisper to her friend. Finally, Regulus cleared his throat, and looked up from where he had been picking at the label of his water bottle.

“I’m very proud of my brother,” Regulus’ voice was steady and deep. He was unblinking. “It was very brave what he did, especially given the—the intrusive situation. No one deserves that. I wish him all the best, and Lupin, too. I look forward to spending time with him this summer in Gryffindor.”

Sirius’ smiled. And he knew the cameras caught it.

Sirius was sitting in Regulus’ stall this time when his brother got out of the showers. He stayed seated, the two of them silent among the other changing players, while Regulus got dressed. Sirius slipped his phone out of his pocket.

Call you in twenty, he shot a text to Remus.

“Hey, Cap,” Logan said from the doorway. “I’m going out with some of the guys. You’re…” he glanced at Regulus.

“See you on the plane,” Sirius said, and Logan nodded, understanding.

Regulus sat in Sirius’ stall. He had a Snakes sweatshirt on, and the sleeves were picked practically to pieces, fraying and ratty. It hurt to look at them.

They were alone.

“Alors,” Regulus said hesitantly.

Sirius turned to him. “Come back to Gryffindor with me. Minnie got you a seat with me and Logan. Tomorrow.”

An expression of relief so pure crossed Regulus’ face, that Sirius watched him ache with it. Sirius stood and pulled his brother into a hug. The first in a long, long time.

“Okay,” Regulus said into Sirius’ neck, voice thick. “Okay."

#sweater weather #sweater weather lumosinlove #wolfstar #wolfstar au #hockey!au #harry potter #Harry Potter au #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #lumosinlove #lumosinlove oc #sweater weather part 15

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