#pretend like the background is beautiful and convoluted

[moomoorare]

Finally, Cleo as Spring inspired by Mucha's 1896 painting!! 🩵🌿 Couldn't choose a version so you're having both <3

[maya-matlin]

Thank you so much for being one of my first and only mutuals! I'm making a great first impression by sending you a terrible ask - how would you rate the six One Tree Hill seasons that Chad was on the show from your first to sixth based purely from a Brucas perspective? For instance, Season 5 is one of my least favorite seasons of the series but I love the Brucas content so would probably rank it as high as second on this list. I'm sorry if I worded this in too convoluted a way! Please don't feel pressured to answer.

You're welcome! You definitely aren't making any sort of bad impression and your question makes perfect sense to me.

1.) Season 2 - This one kind of has to be the best. It's the only season where there's less of a triangle between Brooke, Lucas and Peyton and much more focus on Brucas's individual feelings for each other with their potential relationship being given the room to grow. I loved watching their friendship form and seeing Lucas pine for Brooke. Plus, the chemistry between Chad and Sophia was so raw. So how do you not love it?

2.) Season 3 - I love the vast majority of the third season and watching Brooke and Lucas settle into their second relationship. So many of their most iconic moment happened this season. But, this was also when the ghost of Leyton started lingering in the background and eventually ruined everything.

3.) Season 5 - I agree with you 100% about season 5. It's a mess in a lot of ways and suffered somewhat due to the writers' strike. I'm fully aware a lot of the Brucas teasing only happened for the sake of the season's cliffhanger where they pretended for a few minutes that Lucas wasn't going to end up with Peyton, but still. I LOVED watching Brooke and Lucas support each other and spend time together as adults. The chemistry was as great as it always was. Regardless of the eventual endgame, it felt much more natural seeing Brooke and Lucas bonding and finding this new yet familiar rhythm than it did watching Peyton pitifully holding on to "true love always" as Lucas did all he could to spend time with anyone except Peyton.

4.) Season 1 - Obviously, things ended terribly. No matter how much Lucas liked Brooke and enjoyed spending time with her, he was way too fixated on the idea of Peyton and making something happen with his longtime crush to give their relationship a proper chance. In spite of this, Brooke and Lucas were very fun and had this great physical chemistry that was notably lacking with Lucas and Peyton. But even beyond that, the few moments where Brooke and Lucas connected on an emotional level were just... A+. It would have been so easy to make Brooke and her relationship with Lucas this throwaway thing. In fact, I'm sure many viewers would have preferred that, but the fact Brooke's heartbreak was taken seriously and Lucas was forced to deal with what he'd done was the much better writing choice.

5.) Season 4 - To be honest, both seasons 4 and 6 were big disappointments for different reasons. These are both Lucas/Peyton heavy seasons with minimal Brucas interaction. I hated the heavy handed writing meant to tear down Brucas's past and Brooke as a character all to justify Lucas and Peyton coming together. But, this season features the scene where Lucas shows Brooke what he wrote about her in his book. It's a very beautiful, underrated moment. Brooke's the other half of Lucas's book, indeed.

6.) Season 6 - In season 6, Brooke and Lucas barely seemed to acknowledge the other existed outside of their relationships with Peyton. They got a handful of moments, but not nearly enough for my liking.

[immortalbutterflycos]

Please tell me about your DnD Sorcerer child, OP. I love hearing about people's dnd characters sm 😭 What's their name, what's their subclass, what color are their eyes?

Omfg

Okay okay okay

Thank you so much for actually asking! Warning, I've been peer-diagnosed by all of my friends in my dnd party (all of which are on the autism spectrum aside from my DM) to have autism so buckle in.

I have way too much fun talking about them and this campaign in general! (if you have any other questions after this too either about the campaign or my character, feel free to ask!!! ^.^)

First of all~

Their name is Ashton Reid!! The campaign setting we're in is like a modern-day sort of mutant/superhero situation and so when it comes to what powers the group has things can get a little interesting and honestly convoluted at times.

In game terms, Ash is a Clockwork-Soul Sorcerer with a mutation that gives them a power called "Probability Control"~ (Which is my DM's homebrew)

In easy terms, they're just very lucky~

Fun fact! The reason why they became a sorcerer in the first place was because the day their mutation manifested, their older brother (Artem, my beloved) took them out on a walk through the woods because they were having a really rough day.

It was their 13th birthday (they're almost 19 in the present day) and their parents (their dad is a politician...) had either forgotten or simply didn't care enough to pretend that they held any love for Ash to even say anything to them and when Artem asked if they were okay, Ash ended up snapping at him.

(I just reread the scene I wrote for that and oof...)

And so like I said they went for a walk and they came across this river, which lead to a series of small waterfalls which all lead down to this huge, beautiful crystal-clear lake.

That's when Ashton had this thought.

Just a wayward one. Nothing at all monumental.

"If magic were to exist, this is where I would find it."

Then, they felt something hit their foot, stopping it before it went down the small waterfall they were standing in the middle of.

Then when they looked down at it, it was a stone. A deep blue crystal.

Obviously, being the magpie they are, Ash picked it up only to find that it was warm to the touch and it seemed to be thrumming with energy or something. Like it was almost... alive...

They immediately showed it to Artem, who thought it was weird, but he also wasn't about to tell them to put the weird crystal back in the water after they seemed so excited about it.

From then on, the stone was never far from them. They'd hold onto it and roll it between their fingers, and study it; taking notes to see if anything ever changed about it through out the day.

Nothing ever did. It stayed exactly the same even after months, maintaining it's warmth. At some point, they even wrapped it in wire and turned it into a necklace which they only remove during showers.

The stone never changed.

But Ashton did.

A bit of background: Ash is Korean on their mother's side (their dad is your basic white politician) And they and Artem always showed more of their mother's features than Richard's. Which means, Dark brown hair, and dark, almond-shaped eyes.

Well, Ash had already been dyeing their hair different colors for a while now, always returning to a mixture of different blues.

But one day when they woke up and saw themself in the mirror, their hair wasn't the only thing that was blue.

Their eyes were now that same clear, sapphire blue as that of the stone around their neck.

They immediately ran to Artem.

[bloodyshadow1]

just finished Alanna’s route and I gotta say, I’d give it a C, it wasn’t bad, but I didn’t see a lot of good either.  There was so much crammed in as much as possible between the Society (that we barely get to see anything of), Time travel (which is fine but done pretty poorly with little buildup or fanfare or explanation), Immortals (like time travel, a decent story enough on it’s own, but only mentioned in the final 3rd of the story and barely talked about afterward), and Magic power stones (pretty vague power system that no one seems interested in telling the MC about) it feels like they accidently threw 4 darts at the idea board this time and never bothered to throw again.  It’s such a mess that the MC has to take on faith without ever being given a real reason to side with the Circle over anyone else other than her ex girlfriend is part of it and they hate her dad.  It’s so quick and it doesn’t ever feel like the right decision at least to me since you spend so little time with the Circle even as background characters to Alanna’s story.

Alanna as a character is kind of meh for me overall.  Physically her design is fine, seems cute more than hot or sexy, but sort of bland and generic.  there are other cute love interests that never felt this generic, she feels like she should be the sister or best friend character instead of the love interest of the MC.  It doesn’t help that by making her the MC’s ex returned, we know little to nothing about her, so much of a romance arc is missing because even if the MC knows, we the player don’t know what’s so great about Alanna.  All of Alanna’s character feels told instead of shown, the MC seems to worship the ground she walks on, but the actual story leaves much to be desired because we don’t really see her do anything super charming or amazingly skilled.  She’s pretty, but she’s not even the most beautiful woman in her route much less London or the world. I could understand why the MC would love her since she’s still hung up on her, so I could believe it if I took the story with a grain of salt, but the fact that her personality seems to be she’s so charming and everyone loves her without every truly delivering on such claims makes her whole route fall even flatter than it’s plot led to. The fact that the MC slept with her right away as a ‘palette cleanser’ was sort of interesting, but it still felt like being told about her, nothing about what she and the MC had gone through felt like she was so irresistible that the MC would need to get her out of her system, because we don’t know anything really about her relationship with Alanna.  And that’s a big problem to her selling points as a love interest

  We don’t know all the stories the MC has with Alanna, especially if they only dated for 2 months, the audience/player/readers, need to understand why the MC is in love with their love interest besides the route being named after them, by making their entire relationship when they first fell in love we miss all of that and are left with empty feelings and gestures between the two of them. The little back and forths between them about their past are okay to start with, but nothing about Alanna as a character from her 12 chapters makes me believe that she’s so lovely the MC can overlook her massive flaws and go along with her very unpersuasive desire to have the MC join them to help the world.  Her depression and feelings of helplessness after 200 years was interesting, but it felt like it came too late.  I’m actually really glad the MC called her out on her bullshit, by the end of her first chapter, I get a bit of where she’s coming from, but what Alanna did to the MC was fucked up and she doesn’t get to just pretend it never happened.

Plot wise, the story is a mess, like Alanna, so much of the story is told to the MC and she’s supposed to take it on faith that the Circle is somehow more morally right than the rest of the Society.  It fails because the Circle has barely any real character, they have interesting traits that if they were around more to make me care about them as something other than the vehicle to do the time travel and nothing more.  In so many routes, you’re introduced to all your love interests at the same time and they’re already a group, while you spend the most time with your love interest, you get to know most of the characters as people outside of their routes, but the rest of the Circle is pretty bland.  Not to mention that the Society is built up as this big maybe evil maybe just powerful and in the wrong hands thing..., but you barely interact with them at all.  The only people tell  the MC and her brother that the Society is bad is the Circle who are actively members of it and nothing about what they say or do makes me feel like they’re any more trust worthy than the rest of the society except most of them are going to be future love interests.  In Alanna’s route, the only member of the Society not in the Circle that has a unique character portrait is Arabella and she’s kind of a more interesting character with a more sympathetic story than the Circle. We hear about how corrupt and morally bankrupt the higher ups in the Society are, and we know the MC hates her dad, who seems to be considered the worst, but aside from being a bit stuff and arrogant, (much like the wealthy elite of our world) we don’t see much evil, and it confuses me if the Circle wants to bring down the Society or try and take control of it for the greater good without much of a reason to trust them.

The Immortal plot point fell flat to me, like the story basically skipped over the time travel plot device by making it literally a this happens and barely talk about it, but adding the Immortality plot felt unneeded in a narrative that needed a lot more structure, not irons in the fire.  I feel like if Alanna/your love interest was the only one of the Circle that was immortal other than the Elites of the Society it would have made a better route to go.  Having an immortal character in your romantic story is fertile ground, they could be a tragic figure, a figure who is hedonistic and loving their immortality, etc, there are plenty of ways to go, an immortal character with a bunch of their pals who are already incredibly powerful and have a vague sense of goodness about them, makes it feel far from a curse or whatever they’re trying to portray it here.  It could have also been introduced better to the MC by say meeting Arabella in the present day and being shocked by seeing her and needing confirmation from the Circle or Alanna, instead of Alanna dropping it in a mood to the MC.  

Overall, it felt to complicated of a story to tell with all the moving pieces that didn’t deliver on any of them sadly.  the whole story felt like it was a mix between Queen of Thieves and Astoria Fates Kiss, without the charms of either the story or the characters, replacing Greek Mythology with time travel.  I will also say, it the plot made me kind of uncomfortable with how a bunch of mostly white young adults have decided to be judge and jury throughout time with the first antagonist being a powerful black lesbian in london 200 years ago, and we only have their word that something is afoot.  I know that she actually was doing bad stuff, but the Circle is just a vigilante group with no actual authority and using time travel as their own means of policing people and if it wasn’t a simplistic romance story disguised as a scifi fantasy story, I feel like more nuance would have saved it.

The good parts: Alanna’s route for Immortal Hearts Society wasn’t all bad, I  I will admit I am probably overly harsh since I just finished it.  I actually really enjoyed the both the Female and Male MC character designs, they both were surprisingly interesting compared to a lot of MC’s.  I really did enjoy the MC for the most part and I liked her relationship with her brother, most of the time I’ve seen sibling relationships in Lovestruck they’re fine but don’t tend to have much actual conflict, just superficial.  But I like that the MC loves her brother, but burned her bridges with him to keep him safe, she regrets what she had to do but not what happened which is a pretty interesting take.  Alanna was enjoyable as a love interest in the beginning, but as the story got more and more convoluted, it felt like she didn’t have much actual character.  I do have a soft spot for the Circle characters, except for the two current love interests, I’m more annoyed that we didn’t get to see and interact with them more, especially since it looks like they’ll be future love interests if the pattern holds.  It was a fine story and I know I’m being overly harsh, but it just felt underdone instead of bad, which tends to make it worse in my mind because the lost potential is frustrating. 

 I wouldn’t mind continuing if the writing got tighter next season, I’ll still give it a try.  I would very much like an Arabella route before anyone else, she has such a gorgeous design and despite not seeing a huge amount of her character being a warm genuinely kind person stuck between a rock and a hard place for her family was an interesting take instead of making her one of the many false sweethearts in Queen of Thieves that stab you in the back.  I also think that if she still is around in modern day she would have fit the story as a love interest better than Alanna. 

Not sure if anyone is going to bother to read this but it feels good to get it out.  Maybe you think I’m full of shit and I’m fine with that, maybe you love Alanna and she’s your favorite love interest.  I’m sorry you read this because I don’t want anyone to feel bad, this is simply how I feel after reading the first chapter

[spencerfranklin]

Pile of Shit P1

Dear Diana

It looks like I once again managed to dug my grave. 

As a very outspoken person, I get myself into all kinds of problems. I usually manage to talk my way out of it and when I’m incapable of doing so, I power through it and in the end I’m bruised but still standing.

A year ago I publicly denounced the racism in my family via facebook. An online social platform which connects millions of people. Much like tumblr, this blog I’m dedicating to write to you. 

You see, I was born and raised into a predominantly white family. Me along with my grandma and my little cousin I was defending on facebook are the only people of colour of the family. Well, people of colour that were born into the family (plus my father, he´s also brown but I’m not counting him). A couple of men were married into the family and that virtually sums up all the non-white members of the family.

The horrifying torture that growing up on a racist environment as a person of colour is a topic for another day. But as you can imagine, it wasn’t pretty but it did shaped me into denouncing injustices such as the one that got me into trouble.

My grandma, her siblings, one of her sisters in law and I were having diner at one of my auntie’s house when the topic of my little cousin’s racial background came up. By that point I was intrigued they were even acknowledging her black ancestry because I genuinely thought they either ignored it, deny it or even went as far as to pretend she wasn’t part black. 

Then shit hit the fan when one my aunts suggested we shaved her in order to “fix” her hair. It is a common belief among some countries that in order to straighten “bad hair” one has to shave it a few times and then it will grow out with a desirable texture by eurocentric beauty standards. 

I tried to educate them on imperialism, racism and antiblackness but it was pointless. One of my aunts tried to de-escalate the situation by saying that there were some attractive black men. I guess that’s her version of “I can’t be racist, I have a black friend.” I tuned out the rest of the conversation and when I got home I let all my frustration go into the internet. 

And now my denounce has come back to bite me in the ass. 

You may be wondering why I didn’t face the consequences the moment I published but I’m afraid I don’t know. I even forgot about everything because it was a long time ago. 

What I do know is that today my grandma had an accident and it kickstarted what would look like a convoluted movie plot. Fuck, I think she´s trying to do the dishes. I’ll stop her and do it for her and then come back to you...

Yours always, your new self-proclaimed friend

Sophie

[poipoi1912]

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 19x03

Yet another solid episode! This season is going to be a winner. Also, THE BARISI CORNER IS OFFICIALLY BACK :D

But first:

Overall Thoughts

OK, this wasn’t much to write home about, but it was more than serviceable. All three actresses were very good so they kept me engaged, the case was pleasantly twisty but not convoluted, Sonny had significant input as a lawyer (and I loved how Liv was all “we’ll follow Carisi’s suggestion!”) and Barba delivered a heated and eloquent closing argument. I enjoyed it.

Squad Thoughts

More sharing of personal information! I swear, Sonny and Fin have talked to each other more in these last two episodes than they did in the previous 3 2 seasons! And they didn’t need some random case-related segue, either. This week, they were just driving to a crime scene, and they were shooting the breeze on the way there. You know, like normal colleagues do. Like real people do. Not cardboard cutouts. Something small like that, something as silly as stealing candy as a little boy, it can breathe life into a scene which would otherwise be mundane.

The thing is, even when an episode is not as exciting, it’s still worth watching just to see our characters interacting and being friends. That’s what SVU seemed to have forgotten, and it’s also the key to making a watchable procedural. Let’s face it, all the cases have been done before (often by SVU itself, because it’s been on for a hundred years), but the team interactions can )and should) be enough to maintain the viewers’ interest. This season, it’s clear the team dynamics are being cultivated, instead of being ignored, and that makes me happy.

The Barisi Corner

WE'RE BACK.

Just like I hoped, it's like S18 never happened. We're back to the S17 Barisi dynamic of friendly teasing and inside jokes. In the deleted scene from the premiere, we got the classic "booyah, Fordham law" type of interaction, except in its advanced S17 form. Where in S16 Barba would be biting with his remarks, in S17 and in the 19x01 deleted scene he was just making a joke for the sake of a joke, because that's what they do. Sonny tries to impress Barba, Barba is totally impressed, and then he makes a joke to pretend he's not actually appreciative of Sonny's input.

In this episode, we got an even more advanced interaction. We got Sonny making a smart legal observation not just to impress Barba, but because he wanted to contribute to the case. And, just like in S17, Barba was impressed, and then he used a joke not to diss Sonny, but to praise him.

See, there are two kinds of humorous Barisi interactions.

There's "Sassy Sonny Tries to Impress Barba" which comes complete with Sonny's dimples, and Sonny's smirks, and Sonny's cocky remarks like, "Oh, Rafael, are you mad you didn't think about it first?" This type of Barisi interaction always ends with a Barba side-eye and a snarky comeback. When Barba knows that Sonny is flaunting, he's always quick to shut it down. That's the joke. Sonny starts blathering on about a hypothetical argument, just to show off his legal skillz, and Barba is amused, but he also acknowledges the alterior motive, i.e. Sonny's desire to get Barba's approval.

But then there's "Dedicated Sonny Tries to Crack the Case" which comes with Sonny's frown and Sonny's desire to get justice, and Sonny's casual use of legal terminology like "obfuscated." This type of Barisi interaction always ends with Barba subtly praising Sonny, using a joke to cover up a genuine compliment. When Barba knows that Sonny is trying to be helpful, he's always quick to encourage it. That's Barba's favorite thing. Seeing Sonny creatively solving a legal problem with no ulterior motive. Sure, their games are fun, and they've been fun for 3 2 seasons now, but at the end of the day they're both trying to get justice, and Barba loves it when Sonny focuses on their work.

That's the thing. Both Sonny and Barba have evolved. Sonny used to thirst for Barba's approval, early on, in S16, but soon after that he found his confidence, and his footing, and his place on the team. He still tries to show off for Barba, because it's fun, but that's no longer his main motivator when he speaks legalese. Sonny isn't a law student looking to get that A, he's a lawyer looking to get that D. And his actions and words have come to reflect that. Now he doesn't just state the obvious as Barba jokes "save it for night school." Now, Sonny has original ideas which can actually help SVU.

And Barba, who treated Sonny so condescendingly at first, Barba has come to see the change in Sonny as well. The humorous element of their interactions persists, because Barba is a snarky bastard, but now those same interactions are loaded with respect. With friendship. With flirtation. Barba is no longer dismissive of Sonny, and hasn't been for a long while. Barba sees Sonny as a useful presence in the squad, with legal knowledge the other cops don't possess, and it's clear he welcomes Sonny’s observations. It’s right there in his smile smirk. Barba is willing to listen, and he’s even willing to entertain the notion that Sonny just might think of something he didn't, which is beautiful to see :')

Barisi Hopes

Now all I want is that other type of S17 interaction, the quiet support. Sonny always supported Barba in tougher moments, like the death threats (what death threats lol?), or a trial gone wrong, but Barba also supported Sonny, especially during that Catholic Church case, as we all remember. I'm loving the new showrunner's tendency to use humor to display the bonds between our characters, it's just the perfect thing to balance out the grim nature of the cases, but I'd love to see some more muted, more emotional moments between them (between all of them, but Barba/Carisi especially, lol). We have an entire season ahead, so there's still plenty of time. I'll be waiting.

For now, I'm just happy the classic Barisi dynamic is back.

I've said it time and time again, and I don't even mean romantically (that's what fic is for). Those two characters, Barba and Carisi, they have a dynamic that's gold. Clashing personalities (Sonny is dorkier, Barba is more sarcastic), contrasting temperaments (Sonny is sunnier, Barba is a little more bitter), common interests (the law), a reluctant mentor-mentee relationship (which has evolved now that the student is no longer a student, though he's far from being a master), a constant willingness to joke back-and-forth (which keeps building up their relationship and strengthens their bond), fundamental differences which breed a potential for unexpectedly emotional moments ("I admire your...", because Sonny is an openly affectionate person, and Barba and his wide eyes tend to shy away from affection), it's all there.

Good writing, plus a willingness to explore that bond, plus the natural ease Peter and Raul have with each other as actors, plus Sonny’s sweetness and Barba’s sass = television gold. And Barisi gold :’)

Yummy Thoughts

Barba was flirting. End of story. Textbook “there is no heterosexual explanation for this.” And I’m grateful.

Barba Thoughts

I’ve always said it, I prefer seeing “shrewd legal mind” Barba instead of “slave to his emotions” Barba, but the latter sure is fun to watch. That closing was intense, and you could see that Raul really dug his teeth into those lines.  I mean, damn. It’s not every week that he gets to really show off, with more than an eyebrow raise or a smirk, but when he does, wow.  I was just thinking, they rarely let Raul have a legitimate monologue, even though he’s a lawyer and theoretically we could be watching his opening and/or closing arguments every week. This episode tells me that the writers might be saving those moments, and using them sparingly, so they’ll have more of an impact. And I think they’re right.

That said, I wonder if we’ll be seeing a focus on Barba’s more emotional side, to better juxtapose him to the upcoming ADA, who’ll be more black-and-white and (I’m assuming) less emotional. If so, this was a smart way to start doing that. In this episode, we still saw how smart Barba was, but we also saw a passion we don’t often see from him. I’m assuming Barba and Peter Stone will clash on more than their positions, they’ll clash on philosophy, as well, and I hope this was an example of that. We have to see the “new” (but old) Barba, he has to be established first, under the new showrunner’s reign, and then we can be introduced to Stone, and see what they have in common and what they’ll never agree on.

Stray Thoughts

Just like I thought, last week's dramatic ending (and Sonny’s potential subsequent trauma) was not directly referenced. It may come up again in the future, but again, as I said in last week's post, this is classic Original L&O stuff, a self-contained dramatic episode which ends and is never mentioned again. L&O in its earlier seasons was much less serialized, and I think the new showrunner is bringing that back. I don't mind it.

Another thing I didn’t mind? Flirty Sonny using his masculine wiles to cozy up to that witness and get her to help. Now that’s how you use your assets :D

“CONFIRMED.” I love Fin.

That old high school pic? I love that NBC employs people who have a passion for graphic design :’)

More background on Sonny’s family! The show remembers he has a niece! His mom used to cover for him for childhood shenanigans! He went to confession for stealing candy! Classic Carisi material. And continuity galore. This is the Sonny we know and love.

Amanda dismissively saying “pills, booze” to judge a woman who was on prescribed anxiety meds and enjoyed, like, a beer? Never change, Amanda. actually, please change (that said, yay for continuity!)

What a waste of Annabeth Gish.

So Brooke Shields is the grandma? Wasn’t that what everyone guessed? I was trying to come up with other guesses because I actually believed them when they said “no one has guessed who she’ll play”. Oh well. That said, she looked amazing, and I’ve always liked her. It’ll be nice to have someone with a (seemingly) kinder demeanor fighting against Liv. Not a criminal or a lawyer, you know? We haven’t seen that before.

Amanda and Liv’s jackets keep slaying my existence every week.

WHY DIDN’T WEE SONNY’S REACTION TO “YUMMY”???? HUH???? WHERE IS THAT CLOSE-UP OF HIS SMIRKY DIMPLY LIL’ FACE???

Did I write more than 900 words of this post about a 5-second Barisi interaction? HELL YEAH I DID :D

[probablydeletethis]

I’ve been trying to find a dynamic between these two that I like because I can’t tell if I ship Doomfist and Reaper or not. Not sure if I succeeded, but maybe fandom will enjoy these as fanfic.

1. One - Idea: Akande finds Reaper’s “curse” admirable. He doesn’t. 2. Two - Idea: Pre-fall of Overwatch, split loyalties, cat/mouse, “it’s complicated”

[Warning: this is a morning after so there are non-graphic mentions of consensual sex]

It was the presence of another person in his room that woke him up. He didn't move, evening out his breathing and assessing the situation first.

He felt the rise and fall beneath his arm, the sweaty heat around his legs that indicated that the night hadn't cooled down his bed.

Except this wasn't his bed.

The soft sheets beneath him and the liquid like blanket clinging in places on his sweat legs were a far cry from the military issue everything that made up his life.

He remembered the night before. Remembered the soft lips and the breathtaking pressure. Still felt the aches from a need to get closer, remembered the sweet words panted, whispered, groaned, kissed into his skin. He remembered being bare and wanting. He remembered being seen, truly seen like he never was supposed to.

He opened his eyes, adjusting to the gray, predawn light to look up at the sleeping man drooling peacefully on his pillow.

Akande. Doomfist.

The party had been for the rich, the influential, and the undercover agents with long standing aliases posing as one or both. Gabriel was the latter. He'd pretended not to know that he'd be at the party, pretended not to know that Akande would do the same. He'd pretended that wasn't the reason he’d taken the assignment even as he ignored his self-assigned mark for the company of the Talon leader. They'd both grabbed many drinks and raised them to their lips and drank none of them. They’d pretended to be drunk during the cab ride to make it easier, to play their game. Pretended to be drunk in the elevator where clothing got untucked and lips met warm skin. Pretended to be drunk as they stripped and pressed together, warm and so good until they couldn't pretend anymore and Gabriel had seen him, truly seen him. It was terrifying. It was powerful.

His fingers splayed over the synthetic skin of Akande’s torso, the warmth and hard muscle beneath indistinguishable from organic flesh, evidence of his access to the best West African technology on the market. His hand moved to the surgical bolt next to his abs and ran his fingers to the one above his hip, curled his finger around the metal brace next to it. All of his enhancements were to make him stronger in combat, to resist the strain his body took while wielding the Doomfist Gauntlet.

Christ, he was literally sleeping with the enemy. Ana’s tired, distrustful stare flashed in his mind and he closed his eyes to be rid of it but it lingered, deservedly so.

He wondered if this was part of Akande’s plan, his grand design, because it wasn’t part of Gabriel’s. This wasn't supposed to happen, but it had. The newest Doomfist was a priority target, and they'd played this game of cat and mouse for too long. He’d gotten too attached to it, too admirable of his brilliant mind, too willing to talk during a stalemate, and Akande had been beautiful, so very beautiful with his keen eyes, his smooth dark skin, his confident laugh, and regality. His armchair philosophy grated irritatingly against Gabriel’s scarred and bled through history, but Akande’s will to do what must be done, to do what he feels is right and enacting it with his own two hands is something Gabriel has been missing for too long, the will that could change the world.

He used to share that will with his strike team before Torbjorn settled down with his family, before Reinhardt retired to wander the world like Don Quixote, before Ana grew more spiteful that there was nothing left for her but the military, before the job wore down everything that made Jack great. They’d gotten old, all of them had, but unlike them Gabriel still felt the will to act.

Once upon a time he'd do anything for them, and that promise had never been rescinded, but the long years had worn the oath down, the meaning of the words lost with use and experience and cynicism until it was a vague thing that he wasn't sure he remembered because it was important or because it was a childish memory of a time when he was better.

And maybe Gabriel wanted something that wasn’t crumbling at the base with the paint chipping off. Maybe for once he didn't want to clean up a mess and pick up the pieces. Maybe he wanted spend time with people he hadn’t known for so long they’d run out of things to talk about. Maybe he wanted a future with an immovable force that made him want something more. Maybe he wanted one person to truly see him, who shared his world of mind games and violence and laughter and parties they couldn't wait to leave.

“If your hands go any lower, we’ll never leave this bed,” a deep, amused voice said above him. A smile spread across Gabriel’s lips at the sound and he turned his head up to look at Akande’s sleepy eyes, shining in the morning light with mirth.

The fondness felt heavy and wonderful in his chest. It ached even as he sat up and kissed those soft lips. Then he kissed him again because the corners of Akande’s lips lifted and he could. He took a breath to marvel at that.

“That would be such a tragedy,” Gabriel breathed against his lips, the naked happiness in his lover’s eyes, the happiness Gabriel caused with just two presses of his lips to the tempting pair beneath him, was almost enough to distract from the horrid smell of his breath. Almost. Gabriel pulled back, wrinkling his nose. The confused scrunch between Akande's eyebrows was kind of adorable.

“My breath smells terrible. I need to brush my teeth. Do you have a spare toothbrush?” He asked without preamble and swung his sweaty legs out of bed. He was already walking toward the connected bathroom when he heard that low chuckle. He turned around immediately, loathe to not see one of his favorite sights when he’d only monitored him from afar.

The chuckles disappeared quickly, but his stare lingered and roamed Gabriel’s naked body with those keen, planning eyes. It made Gabriel grin arrogantly that his body could capture such attention from a man like Akande.

“Like what you see?” Gabriel said through his cocky grin because he couldn't help himself, displaying himself openly with his arms crossed over his chest. Akande shook his head, amused.

“There should be a spare toothbrush in the top right drawer,” Akande said easily, not taking the bait to Gabriel’s disappointment,” You should also take a shower while you're in there. Clean towels are on the rack.”

Gabriel pouted, but nodded his thanks and headed for the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

With a toilet in front of him, the need to pee made itself known and he relieved himself before fishing through Akande’s surprisingly messy drawer for the toothbrush. He found it and popped open the container. There was toothpaste next to the sink, squeezed from the middle, that he silently judged and ignored, instead opting to use the travel sized toothpaste he'd found in the drawer.

It felt good to scrub his teeth clean. Something about the ritual of grooming pleased his sensibilities. Perhaps it was a product of his military background or the long expanses of time he’d had to go without it for the mission. Either way, he was eyeing that shower with every intention of using it.

He spat out his toothpaste and rinsed it down the drain, making sure none of it lingered in the pristine sink. He set the toothbrush down on the counter with the bristles over the sink and headed for the shower.

The shower was massive with a granite bench to sit on in the back and an entire shelf of soaps inlaid in the aqua blue, tiled wall. It could comfortably fit four of him. He was too used to hunched over communal showers or spaces so small that his elbow always pushed against the curtains. A giddy feeling rose in him at the prospect of a shower without either of those things. He couldn't wait to tell Reinhardt about this during their-

He paused in his thoughts.

He couldn't tell Rein about this. He could never know whose bed Gabriel had warmed. Not unless something-

He stopped that thinking, pushed away a tiny flicker of loss, and got back on task. It was a familiar feeling, redacting away the moments in his life.

The sheer variety of soaps was staggering. And his agents called him prissy for special ordering the lavender citrus soap he preferred. At least it was only one. This was ridiculous. He picked out a blue and green swirled soap bar that smelled like it came from one of the boutique soap/jewelry/hemp clothing shops back home.

There didn't appear to be a shower head, which made him cautious, but there was a handle that said “hot” in one side and “cold” on the other which he knew how to work with. He turned it to the middle and water came pouring down on him in like a heavy rain, and not willing to go out drowning himself in a shower, he turned off the water.

He glared up and for the first time noticed the small dots on the ceiling. The water came from the damn ceiling. He also noticed a thin, black panel next to the soap shelf. He rolled his eyes and pressed his fingertips to it, bringing up a holoscreen of shower options. Of course it had to be the most convoluted shower in existence.

He settled on the “light shower” option through the middle half of the shower space and turned the water on to medium temperature. It came out in a much more reasonable amount behind Gabriel and he stepped into it with a sigh, letting the water flow over tight muscles and fond aches. He automatically started scrubbing, consciously making himself slow down. A shower like this wasn't a five minute shower.

It wasn't a surprise when large hands closed his to stop the direction of the soap.

“I see that you finally figured out how to use the shower,” Akande teased him. Gabriel turned and raised both eyebrows at him.

“This is not a shower. This is a water boarding simulator.”

“You're the expert,” Akande said with happy resignation, kissing him lovingly next to his eye like a husband placating their spouse instead of acknowledging them as a torturer. Gabriel stiffened, but moved easily to kiss under his jaw at his pulse point. This was their game.

“Torture is an ineffective way to get information,” Gabriel replied kissing gently down his neck, “infiltration and gaining trust is much more effective.”

He saw the hand raise to his neck. Thick fingers that when balled in a fist have demolished lives, rest gently under his chin. Gabriel allowed his chin to be raised and plush lips to be pressed firmly onto his. They're playing their game and Gabriel should not show how willing he is to give himself to this man except now Akande has seen him. Their night together memorized, stored, and catalogued in their relentless minds. Akande already knows so Gabriel opens his mouth before his lover has to ask for permission, knows that Akande wants to give more of himself too because Gabriel saw him and he knows. The need to take the hidden pieces of himself that Akande’s giving him wars deliciously with Gabriel’s need to give Akande only the parts of him that would make him feel good. They pull apart with a divine satisfaction.

“You know, your skills would be appreciated elsewhere,” Akande breathed oh so gently, the words more a whisper and a rumble in his chest.

“I'm where I want to be,” he replied like he always did to Akande's offer, but if felt lighter than their usual script. He’s also keenly aware of the intimacy in the double meaning of his words. A taste lingered in his mouth from the kiss and Gabriel scrunched up his nose.

“You never brushed your teeth,” he accused, pushing Akande away with one hand.

“I did not.” The bastard was completely unapologetic. Gabriel’s nose remain scrunched.

“I know where your mouth has been, you know?”

“Then it would be a waste to brush my teeth as I have every intention of putting my mouth back on those places in the very immediate future,” Akande replied with a shit eating grin.

Gabriel’s disgust melted into open intrigue and grinned back at him.

“Fair point,” Gabriel said with a tilt of his head, “and one that I am eager to discuss, but I need to report back to work.”

The look on Akande’s face said that he would do no such thing, but they both knew he wouldn't stop him. It was a bad play so instead he just said “okay.”

His hands were suddenly on Gabriel’s shoulders, looking him square in the eye.

“Have dinner with me,” he requested. Gabriel froze, if someone from Overwatch saw them together it would be terrible. The “no” was on his tongue when Akande continued.

“I know a very discreet Thai restaurant where we could have our privacy,” he elaborated and Gabriel felt both a gratefulness to not have to explain his discretion and a thrill that he was being asked to go on an honest to God date. Except Gabriel was busy, especially with Overwatch no longer officially backing them and his ingrate Second In Command having flown the coop and was unable take over for him.

It occurred to Gabriel that getting him away for another night could be part of a plan to disrupt Blackwatch command for a short, but possibly critical time. Feelings aside, Gabriel knew that an opportunity to further Doomfist’s and Talon’s goals was not going to be wasted. Except this could work in Blackwatch’s favor too. He would be able to take Doomfist off of the board for a known, set of time. That opened a whole new world of possibilities for them. He’d have to talk to Ali to see what could be set up. It should leave him with time to prepare for his date.

“Okay, I'm in,” Gabriel replied, feeling joy light up in him at Akande’s delighted smile.

“We could go see a show after if you like. The ballet perhaps,” he brought up a little too casually like he already knows that Gabriel likes the ballet, like that couldn't have been information pulled from an abducted, traumatized woman who had been Gabriel's friend, who was still missing.

“I would like that,” Gabriel said instead, tallying up more time that Doomfist could be accounted for. He smiled a pleased smile and started soaping himself back up in earnest, aware of Akande’s following gaze even as he lifted up his leg to wash between his toes. When he went to put the soap bar back a hand grabbed his wrist to stop him. He looked back at Akande questioningly.

He moved the hand still holding the soap and moved it to his own chest, rubbing sudsy circle on his synthetic skin, the back of Gabriel’s fingers grazing the warm skin along with it.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay just a little bit longer? You are sure to already be late with how long it took you to figure out how to use this shower,” he joked, but rubbed his freehand down Gabriel’s side, which was nice, but Gabriel was too focused on that little circle of suds and how he’d been ignoring that he was naked in a shower with the gorgeous man he had feelings for who’d been unsubtle in his desires. Gabriel couldn’t think of a reason he was doing nothing about it.

“It would have to be quick…” Gabriel bargained. Akande grinned triumphantly and snaked an arm around his waist.

“Two hours tops,” Akande joked to him which made Gabriel grin and shake his head.

“And I want coffee, good coffee. Like it takes 20 minutes to drip slowly into a cup using gravity alone good coffee.”

“I know just the place,” he agreed easily, pulling Gabriel closer to him so that the only thing between them was Gabriel’s arm and the bar of soap, “Any other demands?”

“I’d also like a Bentley.”

“Done.”

“Really?” Gabriel leaned back with an eyebrow raised.

“No,” Akande deadpanned at him and then broke into chuckles. Gabe laughed with him and and playfully hit him in the arm.

“Then I’m good to go,” Gabriel said amicably.

“Good. I’d like to brush my teeth sometime this morning.”

Gabriel snorted into a laugh that lasted even as he watched the soapy trail of the bar of soap as he moved it further down his lover’s washboard abs.

45 minutes later, Gabriel was stepping into a Bentley escort with a cup of coffee and a pair of sunglasses in the classiest walk of shame of his life. He was dropped off at an address he’d only been to once, walked out the back door and took a bus to the place he’d stashed his communicator. He checked in with Ali and Teegs like he should have done twelve hours ago. He told them he wouldn’t make it in for a few hours while looking out the window at the same man who’d driven him in the Bentley sat across the street in a Volvo. He had a tail to shake.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Hare Raiser/Kale Patch Kids review

ok DVR had this recorded so I’m saying its aired. Have my backlogged first viewing reaction review of the episode when i watched it like 9 months ago

Hare Raiser:

 Part of me is partially hoping this is a Hellraiser parody, but I know that’s highly unlikely…

 Also I know spelling different but named after a character. People are gonna get so confused…

 Oh wow Kevin isn’t just a one-off character?? He’s going to be a regular?? Oh wow. That’s sort of awesome. (Note: this is Kevin’s second apperance in the show by production ordering)

 The whole excuse note bit was actually great. From the “Please excuse [them] from certain death”, to the “I wrote it in disappearing ink even though I’m a pencil”. I just, I don’t know, I really liked it. It’s a little long winded for a joke, but it’s cute.

 Is it just me, or does the rabbit look like a Gigglepie? I hope it’s a Gigglepie. Tell me it’s really a Gigglepie.

 Shikadance family???

 “You’d sell your freedom for mac n’cheese?” haha that was also a great line/gag, and it wasn’t as long a setup. These writers are really getting the hang of this now I think

 Ah Chloe, friend to all creatures, liberator of the downtrodden. You also have unleashed the beast unto the unsuspecting masses…yet again. Wow, this is such a good parallel to the monster attack that landed you in Dimmsdale to begin with, isn’t it.

 Ok, making the conflict that Cosmo changed the wands into carrots and then the rabbit eats them…that feels a bit shoehorned…rabbit monster though is awesome. I am going to now headcanon that Gigglepies turn into those beasts…or half their species look like that (the females; the males are the adorable annoying things lol)

 Cosmo playing the background music-yeah ok. “Let’s check these conveniently placed security monitors” lol yes, make fun of yourself more

 Awww, it’s all Kevin’s fault. Poor Kevin. But poor life choices is a Crocker family trait. Loved the “Lights Out” panel though

 Whoawhoawhoa wait!!! “Estranged half-sister”, you ACTUALLY explained how Crocker and Kevin are related???? That is AWESOME! But this begs so many more questions!! Since the Crocker looks are from Dolores, does that mean she had another child?? And when?? Must’ve been after Denzel lost his fairies, which means sister is at least 10 years younger than Denzel…UNLESS she’s older than him. Why are they estranged? Did her father take her away? Was she given up for adoption? Dolores was a teen beauty queen, having a child young is plausible…Did Denzel have a stepfather for a while, if she’s younger than him; is that why he had no problems accepting Vic as his stepfather, because he’s gone through his mom remarrying before? Or is this revelation that he has a sister brand new because she’s older and wasn’t in contact all this time? And why/how does Kevin have the Crocker name then? Did his mom not use her dad’s/her adoptive family’s name? Is she unmarried like her mom? There are so many more questions!!!

 Yay the return of the theme song as a ringtone

 “If this was a horror movie…which it’s sort of become…” lol yes, I love this

 Booger jokes…kay…..well it’s better than toilet humor

 Wow Waxelplax’s office sure has changed…it’s now the vault from the Conjuring

 The rabbit uses the internet. Uhhu.

 Chloe has an aunt!!!

 Haha Scooby moment where the badguy helps you barricade the door. Classic.

 “Your hippie food put us all in danger!” lol that is a great line

 HAHA! I guessed female right!!! Babies are random, but ok, we can roll with it; did ingest magic, so could’ve poofed them up anyways

 “Well the world just got a little weirder” yup, pretty much the understatement of the year there

 And we get to see the Shikadance. Neats! *makes notes of designs for Superverse*

 So over all, not a Hellraiser parody (pretty much knew that), and not a Gigglepie (boo), and the whole reason for the problem was blehish, but over all, actually an enjoyable episode I say! Kevin returned and was a little more explained, and there were plenty of good jokes, so good job guys! Onto the next one!!

The Kale Patch Caper:

 Oh this is exciting! Chloe is such an 80s/90s kid. First she loved the Care Bears parody, now the Cabbage Patch Kids??? Please bring back “Pretty Pony”, make fun of “gritty reboots” with it, by making the new on be like Fallout (and also shout out to the fandom that did that lol). I mean, you had a Transformers parody already. Make fun of the dark gritty reboots with pastel ponys!! (and include Francis at least in the background!!)

 Ok real episode plot time…

 Ok so the Kale Patch Kids are a blending of Cabbage Patch Kids, Veggie Tales, and Beanie Babies I guess…still 90s nostalgia honestly

 Compost Kids = Garbage Pail Kids. That’s not even trying honestly, but do I care? NOPE!! ^^

 Chloe is actually a computer nerd with “connections” online. Huh…I actually called hacker!Chloe right. NEAT!!

 Also thrift store/second hand collectable shop!! Hunting for the rare missing collection piece. Al the 80s/90s memorabilia. When did Chloe become me???

 Crocker running the shop….meh. dad suddenly collecting these and causing the plot problem…meh. Pointless parts, but we’ll still roll with it for now…I guess using like say, Remy as the one who bought it before Chloe could, with eth reasoning being “I don’t want your girlfriend to be happy Turner, because then you’d be happy, so I got it and I’m going to kill it, muwahahaha” to which they both go “s/he’s not my boy/girlfriend!” would’ve been a bit more convoluted. I just want a moment where Chloe says to Timmy “wow you have a lot of enemies for a 10 year old” after she’s had to face like, a bunch of them

 “You didn’t tell me your Dad collected [these]” “I was ashamed” more like he didn’t until the plot said he had to…

 Legal Jorgen, haha. And hey I was just thinking the other day about magic and copyright laws, neats that canon said something about it Rules wise.

 Wow must be a super slow news day if Chet is covering the pretend marriage of stuffed animals…Timmy’s flowergirl design is cute though ^^;

 Heehee yes Chloe, turn to the dark side. Silent Avenger is a cool codename. But again “over the top with the spygear” was a Tootie trait…Chloe really is the new Tootie…:(

 “I may have done bad but I’m not gonna admit that!” lol oh Chloe, you are too cute. But of course you’re going to have a subconscious guilt trip

 You’re still wearing it because it’s cute ^^ and hey purple!

 Badgirl!Chloe has an eyepatch??!! Chloe with an eyepatch??!! Man, I called that too. What are the odds??? I wish Francis was part of this “wrong crowd” of hers though…haha the super villain costume is great; why couldn’t this have aired BEFORE I designed her Negaverse counterpart…also why no eyepatch on this super villain?? Was it all cosmetic??

 I sorta wish Dad had picked up the blueberry instead of the banana there…because red and “sort of a player” could be Knockout, who is also Daran, and it would’ve been a funny thin reference…

 And Jorgen appears again for a third time. Meh, I’ll let pointless Jorgen slide since we haven’t seen him in a very long time.

 Also watching the credits, I find it odd that Chloe isn’t in any of the pictures, but Sparky is…

 But this episode was great. So much nostalgia, so much Chloe development. Limited/no magic, all dealing with real problems in (slightly) real ways. Very good!

 As a whole episode, both parts work very well together. Neither is overtly strong or weak. I enjoyed both quite a bit. Highly recommend if you want some nice, clean, and easy Chloe characterization.

[impurelight]

OnePlus Is Dead To Me

I saw the OnePlus 5 event. And… well… it was disappointing. It was so similar to an Apple event except they didn’t copy the soul of an Apple event. In an Apple event they’d tell you what they did but they’d also say other things like how you’d enjoy using the new feature or some insight into designing the new feature.

Here? Nothing. Just the facts. I think that’s what’s wrong with OnePlus. They lost their soul. You know I thought the OnePlus 3T was OnePlus turning over a new leaf. Just because there was a 128GB model. So naive I was back then.

A little background. I got a OnePlus One way back in the day and ever since then I was like, “This is a really great phone, but it could be better.” Little things like a QHD display (which was just then appearing in flagships), an AMOLED display, a white variant, and at the time messing with Titanium Backups pushed me up against that 64GB of storage so I wanted a little more.

So OnePlus 2… disappointed. OnePlus 3… a little better. They announced a white variant and an AMOLED display at least. But ultimately I was still disappointed that it still had an FHD display. Then the OnePlus 3T… now we’re talking. A 128GB variant.

And I wanted to believe OnePlus would finally put a QHD display on it. The design was so beautiful. They actually encouraged people to unlock the boot loader. I could see OnePlus being the perfect phone OEM and putting out a perfect phone.

So when the OnePlus 5 announcement came I was like, “Pfft, of course they’re going to add a QHD display and it’ll be the perfect phone.”

A day before the announcement I got a little nervous because people were talking about how the OnePlus 5 would not have a QHD display.

And then the announcement came. And not only does it not have a QHD display, they also got rid of the white variant. They actually went backwards. Plus they hiked the price up by 50 CAD and added even more gimmicks. Ridiculous.

At this point I don’t even know why they pretend to be a budget OEM. Just bump it up to the cost of a mainstream flagship and put it in all the carrier stores. I know they want to.

And then the OnePlus apologists came out saying things like ‘1080p is enough for everyone’ at least I’m not as irritated now when they say, ‘I never filled up my 64GB and everyone is just like me’.

It’s infuriating. This entire launch is infuriating. You know in MKBHD’s video he actually justified the 1080p display by saying he had to check twice that it actually was 1080p. I don’t know what’s worse: how unconvincing this statement is or how forced and convoluted this statement is.

So I’m done with OnePlus. Yeah, maybe they’ll one day release the perfect phone. And maybe I’ll come back. But I’m not holding my breath. Just after the OnePlus event I checked for other similar phones. And one of my criteria is that it has to have Lineage because I don’t trust anyone to update their software.

And the Lineage stats page is actually down. This is the first time I’ve seen it down. I find it hard to believe that angry OnePlus users alone took it down, but it’s a nice story.

So anyways turns out there are a bunch of phones competitive with the OnePlus 5 at half the cost like the LeEco Pro 3 and the Redmi Note 3. I mean, something’s not right here. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? And they’re all interchangeable because you can just flash Lineage on them and you get the same experience.

I also considered an Asus phone but their inability to vertically centre the navigation buttons bothered me. I also looked at the iPhone but it’s way to expensive, as usual, and I like headphone jacks.

The problem with most of the phones I looked at is they all cap out at an LCD 1080p display. I want something with an AMOLED QHD display. But there is one phone that meets my specifications. The Axon 7.

Two problems. First no white variant (like a truly white variant) but I guess I can live with that. The main problem is it’s ugly. I know some people like the design but it was always too busy for me.

I followed the Axon 7 a lot through its arrival to North America and one of the things they added to the North American version was the capacitive navigation buttons. Which are both a blessing and a curse.

I did see a leaked render of the Axon 8. It does look less angular which I like but it still has those weird navigation buttons that look as if someone slapped them on at the last minute.

Well, at least I have quite a while to decide before I actually need a new phone. But I already know once I get a new phone I’m probably never going back.