#prefer senior bub but

[itsdanii]

Because I’m an angst-addicted ball of misery, is it okay if I request drabbles of Fuckboy!Atsumu and Fuckboy!Oikawa being the crush of the reader but she knows of how they treat other girls and doesn’t want to end up heart broken and since she’s shy and introverted, the boys barely know her aside from her being a classmate?

She tries to keep a simple distance away from them until said boys randomly show an interest in her and they start showing her attention, love, and treating her better than the girls they messed with until after a few weeks she overhears from them or their teammates that it’s out of pity/they were bored because Y/N seemed easy to mess with.

Y/N doesn’t let them know she overheard them, instead a switch is flipped and she’s emotionless around them and avoids them. When they ask why she’s like that, she simply says “I won’t let you hurt me like the others.” She basically treats them like they don’t exist (she’s friendly to everyone but them) and said f!boys regret it and bust their asses to fix everything between them (I read how you felt about full angst, so the reader just blocked their number, social media’s, and treat them like the plague until they prove that they truly love her or regret messing with her :) )

Hey, bub. Sorry for the slight delay! I hope you don't mind me making slight adjustments about the plot for my comfort 🥺 And uh... this drabble turned out to be a oneshot because I got carried away. I only did Atsumu's part which went over 3k+ works 👁️👄👁️ Anyway, I hope that you still like it. Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! ♥️

Karma's a b*tch

genre: angst to fluff

warning/s: rude behavior (resolved), cursing, self doubt and insecurity(?), do message me if I missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason

ft. fboy!atsumu miya, f!reader

never play with a girl's feelings. wanna know why? just read the title.

You stared at the back of Atsumu's head dreamily, your elbows propped on your desk as you basically ignored the world around you.

Contrary to the belief that noisy students always sat on the back, Atsumu and his twin were actually seated in front. Despite being in the middle of a class discussion, the two kept on chattering as if the teacher didn't exist. The teacher basically gave up already trying to shut them up since they never listened anyway.

You knew that she could've just sent them to detention but of course, who would do that to the miya twins? People almost worshipped them and your teacher wasn't excluded. Everytime she entered the room, you noticed how she would always cast a glance at the Miya twins and smile "politely."

The two, of course, took advantage of it. If it meant being able to get away with their noise by just simply smirking at the teacher in front of them, they'd do it. They already did anyways. They never did anything more than that though, and for some reason you were thankful that they never crossed that line.

You jolted up slightly when the bell suddenly rang, a loud yelp slipping past your lips out of shock. With your eyes widening like saucers, you felt your cheeks heating up when majority of your classmates turned their head towards your direction, some having a grin on their faces while the others having a look of displease.

However, their stare didn't matter as much as a specific person's did. A pair of brownish eyes stared at you intensely, his gaze so intense it was enough to make you almost squirm in your seat.

Feeling your heart rate picking up along with the shiver running down your spine, you looked down at your lap, successfully cutting your eye contact with Miya Atsumu - the guy you secretly liked despite being hailed as your school's certified f!ckboy.

"Make sure to finish all your requirements this upcoming weekend. You're all seniors so I have high expectations on your outputs, understood?"

With a series of "Yes, ma'am," the class was dismissed.

The room was filled with different noises - subgroups gossiping with each other, the footsteps of students hurrying their way out, the rustling of papers, clanking of chairs and the voices of the class representatives reminding the assigned people to clean properly.

It was lively, for them at least.

As for you, you preferred being alone. No, you weren't some weird nerd kid who acted as if they hated the world. Instead, you preferred categorizing yourself as one of those people who were naturally shy and introverted.

You don't really like crowds nor socializing. You've always opted on sitting by the corner, just enjoying the calmness silence brings you.

Grabbing your books from your desk, you stood up and made your way to the door, head casted a little downwards to avoid making eye contact with people, knowing that doing so will result to interactions, and who has time for interactions anyway? Certainly not you.

With the lack of paying attention, you failed to notice someone who was rushing their way out. Like a cliche movie, your body collided with them, the impact causing you to stumble backwards, loosening your grip on your books as they fell on the floor.

Luckily, the person behind you managed to catch you on time, their hand gripping the small of your back to keep your bum from meeting the floor.

"Whoa, there. Ya alright, princess?" spoke the familiar voice just behind your ear, his breath against your skin giving you small goosebumps.

Instantly, you jerked away. Turning around to face him, you bowed down while muttering continuous apologies. "Miya! I didn't mean to bump into you, I.. I swear. I was just walking out and then somebody j-"

Chuckling, Atsumu placed a hand on top of your head, giving your hair a small ruffle which eventually made you look up at him. "Calm down, I ain't mad at ya. No need to be so flustered."

With a stiff nod, you mumbled a small "Okay," before bending down to pick your books off the floor. You didn't fail to notice how your hands were trembling and you silently prayed to whoever diety was watching over you that Atsumu won't notice it.

"Yer y/n, right?" Atsumu asked as he bent down as well, one hand clutching your book as he let his finger trace over the name written on it. "A pretty name fer a pretty face like yers."

You wouldn't be surprised if he'd ask if you were doing okay because by now, you were a hundred percent sure that your face must be looking like a red tomato. "Thanks I guess," you said, giving him a shy smile before taking the book from his hand.

The small encounter was cut off by someone calling for Atsumu's name. Turning your head to the direction of the noise, you noticed Osamu walking towards you with a small frown on his face, one hand gripping the strap of his bag as he went on how they're going to have to run extra laps again if they ever got late for practice.

Atsumu only chuckled at Osamu before turning his focus back on you. With a cheeky smile, he booped the tip of your noise fondly. "Guess I'll see ya around, pretty thing. Careful not to stumble again, alright? Don't want another man catchin' ya."

With that, Atsumu went on his merry way, turning around one more time to send you a wink, chuckling as you gave him a slow wave before his figure disappeared from your vision as a mere dot.

"See ya later..." you whispered on thin air, lips unconsciously curling up as you stared at the direction he went off to. Once you snapped out of your daze, you bit your lip to stop yourself from squealing like a school girl in love.

Well, technically, you were a school girl in love, right?

That night, as you laid on your bed staring at your ceiling full of glow in the dark stars, you thought that maybe it wasn't so bad making conversations with people every once in a while.

-

The days went by pretty quickly.

At first, you thought that everything will be back to normal. After all, you never tried associating yourself with people. Your high school life was basically nothing but waking up early for school then going back home after class and then repeat.

However, something was strange. In fact, it was very strange. Not only were people trying to befriend you but the one and only Atsumu Miya was actually making an effort to talk to you, and to say that you were confused would be an understatement.

He basically didn't pay attention nor spared you a glance before, until that day you bumped into him.

You knew that it wasn't a good practice to judge someone based on what other people say but he wouldn't be called as your school's f!ckboy for nothing. He'd change his girlfriend almost every week as if he's only changing clothes, cruelly dump those who did not meet his certain standards and doesn't care even if a girl cries infront of him. Those are exactly why you tried not associating yourself with him nor his twin.

But there was something about Atsumu Miya that kept on drawing you in. You didn't know if it was his annoying piss colored hair, intense gaze, or the aura surrounding him. You couldn't help but wonder how someone like him, the exact type of person you swore you hated, managed to keep you attracted like a moth on to a flame.

It was weird.

And yet you loved it.

"Ya know y/n, ya kinda wound me," Atsumu said, plopping himself down beside you on the cafeteria.

With your hand clutching the chopsticks mid-air, you surveyed your area, noting how some heads, specifically the Inrizaki VBC's, turned to your direction. "Sorry, what do you mean?" you muttered as soon as your eyes met Atsumu's.

"I literally thought we're already friends when I saved yer ass from falling backwards," Atsumu answered before stuffing his mouth with an Onigiri, no doubt made by Osamu.

Placing your chopsticks down, you wiped your lips with some napkin before speaking up. "I'm sorry for asking this but... what's with the sudden interest, Miya?"

You were aware of how snappy you sounded, but in reality, it was your own defense mechanism acting up. Just how were you supposed to ignore him when it's he himself who kept on clinging to you?

"Hm, what do ya mean? Is it so hard to believe that I'm trying to befriend ya?" Atsumu tilted his head a bit to the side, his lips curling up into a smirk. "Why not try givin' me a chance, princess? That isn't so much to ask for."

You organized your now empty bento, placing it on the side before focusing your whole attention to the man in front of you. "I've seen how you treated girls before," you said with a low voice, averting your gaze from him to avoid melting into a puddle.

Damn stupid feelings.

"I see..." Atsumu said with a slow nod. "Then I guess that makes it more of a challenge."

Your eyebrows immediately furrowed upon hearing that, your curiosity spiking up at what his words meant. "Challenge? What do you mean?"

Instead of answering you, Atsumu just stood up, his bento in hand with the side of his lips curled up. "I'll see ya around, princess."

With that, you were left alone in your table, eyes still trained on Atsumu as he made his way back to the Inarizaki VBC's table. You watched as most of his friends chuckled while patting his back, some even sending a glance towards your direction.

Deciding that pondering over it would only be a waste of time, you stood up and made your way back to your classroom, failing to notice a grey haired Miya watching you.

-

You let out a small squeak as someone behind you reached for the same book you've been trying to get for almost 5 minutes now. Tilting your head back a little, you were met with an upside down vision of Miya Atsumu's face.

With your arms still raised in the air, you spun around to face him, your back flush against the bookshelf keeping you basically trapped. "Miya," you mumbled while looking up at him, one hand fisting the side of your skirt to release some pressure.

"Here," he simply said while handing you the book, obviously holding back from laughing at your flustered expression. "Don't worry, I ain't gonna try anythin' that would make ya uncomfortable. I was just passin' by and saw you strugglin'."

"And he even tucked my hair behind my ear!"

"He did that?" your cousin spoke from beside you.

Both of you were seated on top of your bed, legs crissed crossed as you gossiped about your interactions with Miya Atsumu.

For the past few weeks, you've been having encounters with Atsumu - in the cafeteria, in the library and even outside of school where he claimed that he was out to buy some ingredients for Osamu and only managed to bump into you "coincidentally". Name it and he'll be there.

With these constant encounters stirring up your feelings, you had to resort on calling your cousin for some girl time in order to save your sanity. Luckily, your parents had no objection. They were even happy that you were actually trying to open up to other people. It was only your cousin but according to your parents, "A small step is still a step."

Plopping your back on your bed, you grunted as you placed both of your hands on your cheeks. "Mhm. I just don't get it you know? He's basically this popular guy that plays volleyball, has a group of girls swarming over him and has the face and body that looks like it's been sculpted by God himself, and yet he's wasting his time on me."

You looked at your cousin with a small pout, one hand reaching out to poke her thigh. "Am I just overthinking things?"

With a breathy chuckle, your cousin laid down beside you. "Maybe? I can't really say for sure since I don't know this Miya guy except your description of him, but what I think is that you should give him a chance."

Hearing that, you laid on your side to face her, elbows propped up against the mattress as you rested your cheek on your palm. "Aila, have you been listening to me? He is a f! ckboy. Dangerous, treats girls like shit, and undeniably sexy. What if his sudden interest is only a one time thing? What if he's just messing with me?"

"And what if he isn't?" Upon hearing no reply, your cousin took your silence as her cue to continue. "What if people just labeled him as this so called 'f!ckboy' because that's what they perceive him to be? What if inside him is just someone who's vulnerable, trying to protect themselves from getting hurt by people so they end up hurting others first to save themselves from the pain? What if he's just waiting for someone who wanted to really know him, the real him? Would you really deprive him of that opportunity just because of what you hear from other people?"

"I... I don't know.."

"Miya isn't here to defend himself and I'm not trying to defend him, but don't you think you should at least give him the benefit of the doubt?" Aila smiled as she settled herself on a comfortable position. "Give him a chance, y/n. Everyone deserves to get one. It's up to him to prove whether he's worth the chance he was given."

You sighed deeply, letting her words sink in as you also shifted yourself on a comfortable position, raising your comforter up until it reaches just below your chin. "Then what happens if he isn't worth the chance he's given?"

With a hum, your cousin just shrugged. "Then you either forgive him and let it go or... give him the finger and tell him 'f!ck you' for messing with your feelings," she said with a short giggle.

"It's something only you in the future can decide. Goodnight, y/n."

With a thankful smile, you turned the lamp off as you whispered, "Mh, goodnight, Aila."

-

"Let's be friends," you said as you slammed a box of onigiri in front of Atsumu, a smacking sound resonating in the air making the rest of the boys look at your direction.

Even the sound of balls whooshing in the air stopped, replaced by the sound of them dropping suddenly on the gym's floor.

With his lips parted, Atsumu shifted his gaze from the onigiri, Osamu, Suna and you. "Ah..." he muttered as if he was just as shocked as you for having the guts to come inside the gym in the middle of their training.

Feeling your cheeks heating up out of embarrassment due to his lack of response, you looked down and started to fiddle with you fingers. "You said you wanted to be my friend and I kept on keeping my distance from you so I thought you might appreciate those onigiri as my peace offering." You scratched the back of your head before giving him an awkward smile. "A-anyway, that's all! I'll see you around, Miya!"

Atsumi could only watch you as you dashed out of the gym. Snapping out of his daze, he looked down at the box of Onigiri, smiling unconsciously as he noticed the sticky note posted on top with "Good luck on your practice, Miya! :))" written on it.

"Interestin'," Atsumu whispered before standing up, Kita's voice filling the air as he called the team back for practice.

-

It's safe to say that after that embarrassing moment, you became friends with Atsumu. You even became close with his twin because they were always with each other. It wasn't long then when the usual duo became three - Atsumu, Osamu, and you.

It was hard to adjust at first. Your female classmates would always glare at you and spout out some nasty remarks but the twins were always there to defend you. In fact, you even met the whole team and hanged out with them when you didn't have some academic tasks to finish.

It was fun, and you were thankful for your cousin who gave you the advise of giving Atsumu a chance.

But there was a downside on the situation.

Your feelings which you kept hidden for a long time was only growing day by day, and you were afraid that it was slowly showing signs.

How?

Everytime Atsumu was near, your heart would beat so fast that you felt like you just finished a 4 kilometer run. Your hands would become clammy, breath would hitch, and face would heat up whenever he teases you, and don't even forget to add that one time you literally froze when you spun around, only to come face to face with him - nose almost touching, lips ghosting against each other with only an inch keeping you apart.

You were playing a dangerous game and yet you had no intention of stopping, not knowing that it wasn't only you who had a secret.

Because Atsumu Miya was also playing a game - something much more dangerous than yours.

-

"Where's 'Tsumu?" you asked as you peeked your head inside the gym.

Kita, who was about to walk out, gave you a smile before opening the door wider for you to come in. "Atsumu's in the storage room. The twins made a mess again so I told them to go clean up before we start practice."

"Typical," you said with a short giggle. "Anyway, I'm just going to drop off Atsumu's hoodie that I borrowed last week. I'll watch over them while you do your business."

"That would be great. Thank you so much, y/n-san. Call me if something happens," Kita said, giving you a small nod before leaving.

As you entered the empty gym, you grimaced upon seeing something that looks like spilled milk on the floor. With a shake of your head, you made your way near the storage room sneakily in attempts of scaring Atsumu.

However, as you got closer, you heard two familiar voices. It was Atsumu's and Osamu's voice, and basing from the way they were speaking, it seemed as if they were in the middle of an argument.

"The fuck did ya say?" It was Osamu.

"I said I was only playin' with her. I mean, she's so easy, don't ya think? It basically only took me a couple of weeks and she came runnin' to me with that box of Onigiri, claimin' she wanted to be friends," Atsumu said, followed by a chuckle. "As if I didn't notice the way she acted around me. I'm telling ya, that girl is in love with me."

"And so, what if she is? That's not an excuse for ya to play with her feelings, dipshit."

Hearing Atsumu huff, you slightly backed away from the door, only to freeze when you heard his next words.

"Y/n is nothin' but a toy to me, somethin' I can dispose of when I got bored."

Biting your lower lip, you clenched the handle of the paperbag you were holding before running out with tears streaming down your face.

You ran as fast as you could, ignoring the worried looks you're getting from the people you were passing by. Even Kita was shocked to see you yet he didn't bother calling out, thinking that you might be needing some alone time for yourself.

You skipped class.

Throughout your whole Highschool life, this was the first time you skipped your class and it was a bummer that the reason was Atsumu Miya.

Stirring your strawberry milkshake from a nearby cafe, you thought about Atsumu's words, another batch of tears streaming down your face as you realized how pathetic you were for believing that he isn't what others say.

Maybe your cousin was wrong.

Atsumu Miya wasn't worth the chance he was given, because he only proved that once a f!ckboy, always a f!ckboy.

-

You blocked Atsumu's social media accounts.

In fact, you even blocked and deleted his number to stop getting in contact with him.

Even in person, you didn't bother paying him any attention unlike before. You stopped coming to their practices, stopped giving him food and stopped talking to him.

You basically acted as if he didn't exist.

It was hard because you knew that your heart belonged to him, but you had to endure it. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction for playing with you. You know your worth and there's no way you're going to let some f*ckboy ruin you.

"Y/n, would ya stop?!" Atsumu said as he grabbed your wrist, effectively stopping you from walking away from him any further.

"Get your hands off me, Miya. I don't wanna talk to you." You struggled against his hold, trying to take your hand back, only to fail when he tightened his grip.

"The hell's yer problem? What's with the sudden attitude? Yer basically ignorin' me and I don't have any idea what I did. Just tell me what I did wrong instead of actin' like a little brat." Letting go of your wrist, Atsumu groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration. "I.. I don't like this."

You laughed, eyes squinting as you let out a fit of giggles before pointing at him. "You don't like this? Why not, Miya? I'm just a toy for you, right? So, I don't really get why you don't like this. Is it because you're not bored of me yet so you're not willing to dispose of me?" Crossing your arms over your chest, you looked at him with a serious expression. "Well, I'm sorry to say this but I'm not going to let you hurt me like the others. I'm not a plaything nor am I desperate like those girls pining over you. Have fun looking for a new toy. You're not worth playing with anyway."

That being said, you turned your back on Atsumu, ignoring the whispers that suddenly filled the hallway as the students parted some space for you, leaving Atsumu with his lips parted and feet frozen on the ground.

Serves you right, Miya.

-

Atsumu felt hollow.

With every passing day that you're ignoring him, conversing with people whom you never bothered associating yourself with before, the more he regret taking advantage of your feelings.

It was only supposed to be a game, nothing but a pass time and yet why did it felt like something was missing?

"I wasn't supposed to care," Atsumu said desperately while clutching his head in his hands, elbows propped on the table as he opened up to his twin. "F!ck...I think I like her, 'Samu."

"No shit, idiot," Osamu answered without taking his eyes off the stove. "I told ya several times to stop messin' with people's feelings and did ya ever listen? No. That's what ya get for bein' stupid."

Groaning, Atsumu rested his cheek against the table, facing Osamu's back. "Help me."

Slowing down from stirring the pot, Osamu looked at Atsumu through his shoulder. "Why would I do that?"

"Well, I'm yer twin. Aren't ya supposed to help me? Plus... y/n acts fine around ya." Atsumu sighed before sitting up properly. "I won't bother ya fer a week if ya help me out. I already did everythin' I could. Flowers, chocolates, even payin' attention in class just to impress them! Nothin' worked."

Osamu chuckled at the desperation and frustration in Atsumu's voice. "Deal." He turned the stove off, covering the pot before making his way to Atsumu. Sitting down, he crossed his arms over his chest while staring at the brokenhearted Miya. "Y/n is actually kind. Well, not until that moment she found out about yer stupidity. Have ya tried showin' her that yer willin' to change?"

Atsumu nodded. "I did. I even gave her the usual things girls like."

"I asked if ya showed her that yer willin' to change, not tried winnin' over her through bribery." When Atsumu didn't respond, Osamu let out a 'tsk' before continuing, "Just stop botherin' her and prove that ya regret what ya did."

"Easier said than done," Atsumu grumbled which earned him a smack on the head.

"Will ya stop bein' a sad boy already? I have a plan."

-

Its been two weeks.

Two weeks of no Miya Atsumu trying to apologize. Two weeks of no Miya Atsumu following you like a lost puppy while holding either chocolates or flowers.

Instead, what you were getting were these random post it notes on your locker, your desk, everywhere. Wherever you go, there would be random post it notes with various messages. Some contained cheesy quotations, the others short apology letters.

And despite how mad you were at Atsumu, you wouldn't be able to deny how cute the act was. Not only did he gave you space but also exerted an effort of silently letting you know that he'd be willing to wait for you.

You noticed how he stopped acting like a boss in class, opting to jot down notes instead of chattering with Osamu like usual. You also noticed how he stopped having a random girl beside him during breaks. Everytime you would pass by, no longer would he try to block your way and flick your forehead, but instead give you a hopeful smile before proceeding on his way wordlessly.

But what made you realize that he indeed regret what he did was that one time.

You were walking back to your classroom after forgetting your umbrella. The sound of the heavy rain tapping on the ground resonated on the empty hallways, the cold wind making you shiver as it whooshed in the air.

Wrapping your arms tightly around you, you entered your classroom, eyes widening as you saw Atsumu trying to fit something on the space below your desk while mumbling something.

Clearing your throat, you noticed Atsumu jolting up slightly before turning around to face your direction.

He smiled sheepily before scratching his nape. "I know it's yer birthday tomorrow so I was tryin' to fit this here. I guess there's no point hidin' it already since ya caught me anyway." Sighing, Atsumu picked up the fox stuffie and handed it to you. "Happy Birthday, y/n. I know yer still mad at me and ya probably hate me but I still wanted to give ya a present."

You stared at the fox in your hand, your fingers poking the fluffiness of the material as you fought back the urge to smile. "Thanks," you answered with a dismissive tone.

For a split second, it was silent, and you were aware of the intensity of Atsumu's gaze burning on your forehead, yet you refused to look up, knowing that once you did, you won't be able to hold yourself back and might just forgive him there and then.

"I like ya, I really do. I know I messed up big time fer taking advantage of ya and I'm sorry fer that. It was stupid and childish of me to think that the people around me are nothing but mere toys fer me to play with. I regret hurtin' yer feelings and I'll be willin' to wait until ya forgive me. Just know that I won't stop until ya do."

Hearing something rustling, you looked up and noticed Atsumu taking off his jacket. Within a few steps, he was already infront of you, draping his jacket over your figure. "I'll see ya around, princess. Don't get sick, alright?" Smiling, Atsumu gave your cheek a small pinch before heading out.

You were left in the empty classroom with nothing but the fox stuffie serving as your company. Atsumu's scent was swirling around you from the jacket you were given and at that moment, you haven't notice the single tear sliding down your cheek.

Because of all people, you never expected for Atsumu Miya to be the first one to greet you without having to remind them.

He was the first person you knew outside of your household to ever remember your birthday.

You hugged the stuffie close to your chest, burrying your face on top of its head as you let the comfort it brings envelope you.

-

You stared at the empty space infront, your head swirling as you thought of the possible reasons why Atsumu haven't been in class for three days now.

It's currently your last subject and throughout the whole day, you've been doing nothing but wonder where he was. You haven't asked Osamu about it yet since he was excused from the class due to the preparations for the upcoming match.

And so, the moment your class was dismissed, you rushed your way out, making your trip to the gym. You were thankful that they were in the middle of a water break so you had the chance to call out Osamu's name without having to worry about Kita.

"Y/n?" Osamu's eyebrow shot up upon seeing you. Suddenly, a knowing smile made its way to his lips. Standing up, he walked over to you. "He's sick," he said without even waiting for you to say something.

"Oh.." you muttered, shifting from one foot to another nervously before tugging at the hem of Osamu's jersey. "Do you... uhm, do you think it would be alright if I visit him after your practice? I wanna see if he's doin' alright."

"Alright. I think 'Tsumu would appreciate that. Why don't ya sit on the bench and wait a little for us to finish practice then ya can visit our house after?"

Upon hearing that, your face instantly lit up. You smiled at Osamu as you nodded.

Osamu only chuckled at you and fondly ruffled your hair, a habit he and Atsumu shared.

You waited patiently, and it wasn't long then when their practice finally finished. After Osamu took a shower, you both went on your way to their residence.

As you entered their house, Atsumu's voice immediately met your ears.

"'Samu! Cook me somethin', I'm starvin!"

You looked at Osamu who only shrugged as if he was already used to it. You took your shoes off and wore the slippers you were given before placing your bag on the couch.

"Our room is on the right. Go ahead and talk to him." Osamu said as he pointed on the door at the end of the hallway.

With a nod, you slowly made your way to their room, knocking softly before sliding your way in.

The first thing that greeted you were the mess of opened junk foods on the floor. Roaming your eyes around, you grimaced at the sight of empty water bottles littered around along with the volleyball laying on the ground.

Averting your eyes away from the trash, you looked at Atsumu whose back was facing you, his shoulder raising up and down evenly, indicating that he must be asleep.

Carefully, you walked claser and sat on the edge of his bed, your hand immediately feeling his forehead. "You're burning up," you mumbled, brushing his hair away from his face.

Suddenly, Atsumu's hand gripped your wrist, his eyebrows furrowed as he squinted his eyes. "Am I dreamin' or are ya a ghost?" he asked with a raspy voice.

"I'm not a ghost, 'Tsumu. I'm really here."

You watched as Atsumu slowly nodded before letting go of your wrist. "What're ya doin' here? I thought ya were still mad at me." Sitting up, Atsumu held the comforter close to him as he shivered.

"I heard you were sick. I'm no longer mad at you. I guess I'm still upset but I just can't hold a grudge against you forever, can I? That's not something I can do," you said with a shake of your head. "I really like you, you know? Despite your title of being a f!ckboy, I still fell for you. You were the first person I tried opening up to aside from my cousin. It's just a bummer that you ended up taking advantage of that vulnerability."

You felt Atsumu reaching out for you, his hand enveloping yours as he gave it a small squeeze. "I know, and I'm sorry. I really am."

"And if I give you another chance, will you prove me that you deserve it?" you asked as you looked at him, "I'm still hurt about what happened so I hope that if I give you this chance, you won't waste it."

"Yes. God, yes," Atsumu answered breathlessly, "I promise it won't happen again and I'll try to be better."

Suddenly, Atsumu wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you on his lap as he settled his head on the side of your neck. "Thank you," he mumbled repeatedly against your skin, his arms tightening around you as if he was afraid of letting go.

And he never did.

Indeed, there was something about Miya Atsumu that kept drawing you in, and despite the bumps and dangers that came along your way, you didn't withraw.

Because as you closed the last page of your photo album eight years from then, you realized how right your cousin was alll along.

Atsumu Miya was worth the chance he was given, and he proved it to you every single day, sealing it with the diamond ring now resting on your left hand.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

[lovetorn]

one song [ricky bowen]

pairing: ricky bowen x reader summary: y/n isn’t as thrilled about the musical as her friends, but ricky promises to only sing one song from the production to his girlfriend.  warnings: fluff, and y/n is a bit of a debby downer when it comes to the musical, ngl.

a/n: hey! so i whipped this up in 2 hours? and i like it so here you gooooo 

{not my gif! credit to original creator}

You sat at a lunch table in the cafeteria with Ashlyn and Big Red, the chatter of the rest of the school was white noise as you stared at your food in front of you. Ash and Red were in their own little world whilst you waited for your boyfriend to get out of the music room. He had been in there for most of the day, missing most of his classes, so he could practice songs for the upcoming Spring musical, Beauty and the Beast. You loved him dearly, but the auditions date hadn’t even been posted yet, leaving him to practice songs that may not even be in the production. 

You took a bite from the other half of your sandwich, almost choking when you felt strong hands on your shoulders. You coughed and looked up, being met with Ricky’s beaming grin as his honey eyes gazed down at you. 

“Hi baby,” You said after swallowing, placing one hand over his on your opposite shoulder. Ricky leant down and pecked your forehead, squeezing your shoulders. Ashlyn and Big Red greeted him before he sat down next to you, placing his guitar and backpack behind the seat. Once seated, Ash and Red went back to their conversation as Ricky’s arm wrapped around your waist and he moved to sit sideways. You giggled at his positioning while he pulled you closer. 

“Do you wanna come over tonight?” He asked softly, kissing your cheek before he spoke. He then moved to rest his forehead on your shoulder. 

“No thanks,” You tried your best to hide a smile as he pulled away from you jokingly, sliding out from the table and standing up. 

“Ok, um, well this is awkward,” He said as he exaggeratedly looked around the room. He stood with his fingers threaded together, a slight sway in his stance. You laughed at his attempt to be angry as Ashlyn looked at the boy weirdly, 

“What are you doing?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows as he flushed a light pink, his eyes widening.

“Uh, nothing” Ricky quickly sat back down, slightly embarrassed but choosing to sit down without a word rather than try and come up with some reasoning. You just laughed again and took his arm as he sat back down, grabbing his attention. 

“Meet me after school” You indicated, a smile growing on Ricky’s face as he pecked your warm cheek again. 

~

2:24

You sighed, staring at the hands on the clock. A million thoughts were running through your mind as your attention was brought back to the world. Nini snapped her fingers in front of your face, her eyebrows raised along with Ashlyn, who was also looking at you in confusion.

“Sorry, what?” You turned to her your right to look at her and Ash as you leant your elbows on the table, glancing around at the two of them. 

“The Spring musical! Are you going to audition?” Nini explained, glimpsing over at Ash who nodded in correspondence. 

Your cheeks heated up slightly as you shrugged, “I don’t know yet guys, I don’t think I’ll suit any of the roles,” Nini just rolled her eyes whilst Ashlyn deadpanned you. 

“Guys! Stop it, I’ll have to see when the audition date is and then I will decide” you continued, hoping to avoid any questions that would be thrown your way. But the girls didn’t take any of it, sharing a look before nodding.

“Y/n, you have to audition, no questions or doubts. End of conversation” Ashlyn concluded, turning towards the front of the classroom before the teacher came into the classroom. You looked over at Nini who simply shrugged, a glimpse of mischief in her eye as she too faced the front. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to audition, but it was just such a lengthy process and having done High School Musical, you knew the order. Some may call it lazy, but senior year was right around the corner and you had to focus on more pressing matters regarding your future. Plus, singing wasn’t a major talent you had. You preferred to sing in the choir and not solo, on stage, in front of hundreds of people. 

Shaking your head and sighing deeply, you closed your eyes as the teacher rushed in to start the last class of the day, mumbling multiple apologies for being so late. 

~

Once the class finished, you grasped your backpack off the ground and made a beeline for the door, hoping to dodge a conversation about the play with the girls. 

“Y/n! Wait, wait,” Nini came up next to you, “Do you want to stay the night tonight?” She looked hopeful, but you were quick to decline.

“Aw, I’m sorry, I’m going to Ricky’s tonight,” You said frowning, watching as Nini’s face fell,

“No, it’s okay, next week?” She asked and you nodded, smiling at your best friend as she glanced forward. 

“Oo, here comes Loverboy! I’ll see you Monday” She bid goodbye before leaving you alone. Ricky was approaching at a quick pace, guitar case in hand, making you laugh as he soon made it in front of you. 

“Hey, bub, ready to go?” Ricky asked as he slung his arm over your shoulders, the two of you making your way to and through the front entrance of the school. 

Spotting a certain bright orange Beetle, you slipped out from his arm and walked quickly towards the car. Ricky just shook his head and giggled, you could hear his laughs from 20 feet away as you stood at the passenger side door while he walked deathly slow. 

“Richard! Chop, chop!” You yelled, your voice mixing with small giggles as he slowed his pace even more. You whined, continuously pulling the door handle childishly. His eyes widened as he ran to his car, and around to the passenger’s side where you stood. 

“Aye, don’t do that to Beet” You cackled at the nickname he gave his car as he moved closer to you, pressing you against the car door. His guitar case was now on the ground next to you. 

A smile spread across your cheeks as you placed a hand on the back of his neck and brought his lips to yours quickly. 

“Let’s get going, Bowen!” You announced as you pushed his body away from you, turning towards the car door in hopes it had magically opened. 

Ricky groaned, picking up his guitar and walking around the front of his car, unlocking it from the driver’s side before the two of you hopped in. 

~

10 minutes into your drive to Ricky’s, he hesitantly brought up the topic of the musical.

“Listen, I know you hate talking about it, but, I was hoping you could give me your opinion on this one song for Beauty and the Beast,” His expression was hopeful and as much as you wanted to reject, you nodded. 

“I just want to show you one song, okay? I promise it’ll be worth it” He went on, stealing a glance at you. 

“One song.” You confirmed, rather wanting to watch tv and cuddle. Ricky nodded in agreement and took your hand from your lap. Your face heated as you looked over at him, noticing the small smile that was present on his cheeks. 

“You’re staring.” He commented, taking another glimpse at you whilst he drove. He expected you to look away, but you didn’t, making his heart race even more.

“That’s because you’re pretty, baby.” There was no doubt Ricky’s face was red as he squeezed your hand, “shut up” He whispered. You snickered, leaning over the middle console to press your lips to his hot cheek. 

Once he pulled into his driveway, you both got out, opening the backdoors of the car to retrieve the backpacks that you threw in there before you left school. 

You two raced to the front door, eager to enter and relax. 

Once inside, you went down to Ricky’s room as he entered the kitchen, grabbing two glasses of water and a bag of chips before he joined you.

Down in Ricky’s room, you got comfortable on his bed, pulling off your shoes. Ricky’s heavy footsteps down the stairs caught your attention. He threw the bag of chips at you as he balanced two glass cups in one hand, setting them down on his nightstand. You pulled open the foil bag before diving your hand in. 

Ricky quickly sprinted up the stairs, coming back a second later with his guitar. 

“One song” He repeated your words back at you, unclipping his case and grabbing his guitar by the neck. The mattress dipped as he sat next to you. You placed the chips onto the nightstand next to the cups before turning to watch him.

“Tale as old as time” He began, your heart skipping a beat at how soft his voice was. Ricky gazed at you as he sang, a smile wide on your face as tears stung your eyes. He continued throughout the song, pausing briefly a few times to fix his positioning on the guitar. 

“Certain as the sun” You suddenly got giddy, your heart practically soaring as you realised Ricky was singing for you. 

And as he finished, a tear slipped down your cheek. 

“Baby! Don’t cry” He laughed, tears clouding his own vision. 

You giggled, “Richard Bowen, did you just serenade me?” His cheeks blushed as he froze, racking his brain for an answer that wouldn’t embarrass himself.

“Yes,” He looked unsure, his eyebrows furrowed and head tilted while you fell backwards on his duvet, laughing at how cute he was. 

You cooed, sitting up and moving his guitar to the floor before you pulled him towards you. His head rested against your chest as you had wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“You’re a dream, bub,” You whispered, feeling his arms tighten around your torso. He lifted his head to gaze up at you, his eyes blurry as you whined at him. 

“Don’t make me cry, Bowen” He giggled softly as you ran a hand through his curls, “I would never make you cry, baby” He murmured, “unless it was for a good reason, like this one”. 

You shook your head and laughed, placing a kiss into his curls as you laid in comfortable silence. 

[wongiemei]

Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort 

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

 ‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time 

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

[deobis]

i'm not trying to clown you or anything, but i'm just genuinely curious as to why you bias sunwoo now? like what do you love about him and all? if i'm not mistaken, you used to be hyunjoon-biased correct?

hello! god bless this ask :’) i was waiting for someone to allow me to be absolutely gr0ss and gushy about my sunshine : (

and yes! you are correct :’) i used to be very hyunjoon biased! but if i were to make a comparison,,, hyunjoon was really just a crush but sunoo is the one i really fell for. anyways gush under cut cuz i doubt anyone cares

so if i have to be honest, i “fall in love at first sight” w groups. usually the person i notice first becomes my bias. theres always one defining feature i usually fall in love with. so usually i tend to bias dancers (ex. ten, taemin, chaeyeon, wooyoung, san, etc etc) but with tbz i had exposure to them since boy and had been following their music since debut, but not the group. 

Not until no air dropped did i really begin to fall in love w them. I had a lot of trouble picking a bias w tbz, which is very rare for me but i also think its because i had a ton of exposure to them before. in the boy mv i think the ones that stood out to me were sunwoo hyunjoon and jacob. In giddy up i considered joining the fandom (bc legendary song omg) and the ones that stood out in that mv were sunwoo chanhee and changmin. unluckily for me, i didnt end up getting into the fandom until no air dropped and i spent over a week picking a bias between hyunjoon, sunwoo, changmin, and kevin (as u can see its not that surprising i fell for sunwoo lol,,, it was just a matter of time) anyways, it was a long week but hyunjoons smile really just,,,,,, sold me

like cmon are you kidding me look at that he has the prettiest smile on earth and i still stand by that opinion. and after really investing myself in tbz, i found myself loving his unique dance style. the way he presents himself is so genuine and different from what i usually prefer in dancers. My favorite dancer is by far Ten and my brain auto compares dancers to him but with hyunjoon,,, the style was just so different that it was impossible to compare the two. So yeah I still love hyunjoon a lot! its just,,,, i love sunoo more

tbh i have no idea when i started falling so hard for kim sunwoo. it really just came gradually,,, and thats super strange for my “love at first sight” aries venus :’) though i dont remember exactly what moment made me start swerving, i know his lyrics and rap style played a big part in me becoming the biggest sunoonator on this earth. His first verse in 4EVER is by far the best thing i have ever heard (and in an interview he also said those lines were some of his favorite lyrics hes written!!!

another thing that really swayed me was the bday prank. that clip made me pay so much more attention to him when before i was one track minded on hyunjoon. but seeing him just break down when he realized those he loved weren’t actually fighting showed me how genuine he was. by paying more attention to him, i really just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, swooned for that dorky smile of his (example below bc i want to c’:)

and his overall quirkiness.

something ive also been loving and noticing recently is his absolute hatred for skinny jeans LOL and same. I literally wear joggers every single day bc i cant be bothered. Sunwoos fashion looks so comfortable and he pulls it off so well! its something i can appreciate and love

and the final thing. this is probably the biggest reason i absolutely love love love him! its the way he interacts and treats his fans. idk if you follow the fancafe but sunwoo updates the most out of all of the members. He basically writes in the fancafe every single day, even if its as simple as “deobis what are you doing?” and no matter what, hes always talking about deobis in his updates and almost always reminds us that he loves us! theres one fancafe letter he wrote that i have bookmarked and saved and its the one where he literally starts off by saying that hes awake at 5:20 am (iirc this was after TFMAs where they won the next leader award) bc he cant sleep and he just pours out his late night (or in this case early morning lol) thoughts and its just him talking about his career and how he is so honored to be able to perform on the same stage as his seniors. he also talks about how he is so grateful to deobis and begins explaining his thoughts about the relationship between artists and their fans and how beautiful he finds this relationship. and he continues to describe what kind of singer he wants to be: a loveable singer who can cheer others up. he said that deobis are the ones who helped him become the person he is today and how he always will be sincere to deobis that cheer for him :’(( this is a super dumbed down ver of his letter bc my korean isnt extremely good but he basically ends by saying he’ll continue to improve for deobis and that he really loves us :( this letter was then posted around an hour later at around 6 am :( so he basically spent an hour writing a letter to deobis at the crack of dawn just bc he wanted to tell us his thoughts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i rly,,,,,,,, im so sad hes the sweetest :( 

oh also special creds to @jushaknyeon (especially this hakkjae clown), @noairmv, and @hwqll for clowning me so hard into finally biasing him love u guys sm lol

this is probably way way way more than what you were expecting but i really needed to let it all out :’) i love him to the end of the universe and back! and im pretty sure this time hes just going to be stuck with me :’) (his loss lmao)

if you read all the way down to here im so sorry for wasting your time LOLOLOL here is a sunoo gif as an apology

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah...  Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

[natxms]

HELLO it’s clara back at it again with a new muse who just happens to be the LOVE OF MY LIFE that is olivia holt. I’M SO HYPED !!  hmu if you’d like to plot w/ my bub here or like this so i can come bug you! now here’s a short ( as it could get ) intro ;;

NATALIE TATE ( OLIVIA HOLT / SHE/HER ) - is an SEVENTEEN year old JUNIOR student at Northlake High. They sit with the JOCKS at lunch and are commonly known around school as the ATHLETE, because they’re +AMBITIOUS and +LOYAL, but also -OPINIONATED and -SARCASTIC.

► stats 

—— alright, alright, alright, so nat here is almost like your typical star athlete. rn she’s probably the jewel of norla due to her accomplishments and everyone’s like !!!! super proud ??? ANYWAY, to cut the story short she’s one of the best figure skaters in the US now after winning her first U.S. champion title this winter. naturally not / everyone / follows sports especially figure skating but since norla is a small town and she’s a local most people know ?? 

—— but let’s start from the beginning shall we? she was born and raised in norla !! GOD BLESS. she lives with her dad on main street ( they’re a middle class fam ) and it’s kind of been just the two of them + their dog for as long as nat can remember ?? nat’s mom passed away when she was v v little and she barely remembers her but she’s super close to her dad, he’s basically her best friend ( and COACH ) 

—— personality wise, she’s v kind and charming but at the same time she’s v detached from her peers ?? she tries to be social from time to time but she prefers to stay at home with a good book/movie instead of going to parties. 

 ——HOWEVER despite living this “healthy lifestyle” she drinks... sometimes, / rarely / , but when she does she’s such a LIGHTWEIGHT it’s almost iconic. she can legit get drunk over ONE cocktail and make a complete fool of herself which is also one of the reasons why she’s like “water for me pls” lmfao. god forbid if she tried any drugs, because she’d probably be jumping off walls.

—— let’s also not forget the fact she’s EXTREMELY opinionated ( and sarcastic ) about mostly everything ?? she’s so stubborn it almost hurts and could go without eating just to prove a point. 

—— tbh she has a bit of a problem when it comes being in control ?? she likes to be in charge of things which is probably the main reason why she absolutely HATES failing. the idea of doing such sends chills down her spine which explains her straight A’s and constant need to be the best in everything. while her dad is v critical when it comes to her skating, she’s probably more self-depreciating on a day-to-day basis.

—— she’s part of the jocks because she likes to surround herself with equally ambitious people but at the same time they tend to annoy her ?? she’s probably the momma’ bear in their clique meaning she’ll show up to give lectures and downgrade their egos a little bit lmfao bc dating one of them ?? PLEASE. 

—— as for her love life... well, she’s only had ONE official boyfriend whom she dated before he broke her heart. since then, she’s been scared to let anyone in. not only does she consider falling in love a BIG distraction but since her mom died she’s been very like... basically she has this idea that people always leave which is why she doesn’t allow herself to get fully detached to someone ?? it’s sad, tbh. 

—— more fun facts ;;  she loves to sleep and could sleep for days if she didn’t have any plans ;; her style mostly consists of mom/short jeans, tube/crop tops and ALWAYS sneakers ;; burgers are her fav thing in the world and if she weren’t on a special diet she could probably life off them ;; chandler muriel bing is her spirit animal ;; she’s an old soul meaning she likes classical novels/b&w movies/old fashioned romance + musicians like janis joplin, beatles, queen, rolling stones, elvis presley, david bowie etc, etc ;; has almost insane amounts of coffee on a daily basis ;; you can see her jogging every morning around town ;; LOVES to cook and is actually p good at it so i imagine she could/would/will make her friends’ great food whenever they want ;;  v v competitive in ANYTHING ;; adores football and lowkey is that person that gets all crazy during superbowl season lmfao ;; her BIGGEST goal in life is to go to the 2022 olympics and get a gold medal so !!!

WANTED CONNECTIONS Y’ALL.

- cousins that maybe do get along or maybe they don’t - neighbors that are either friends or enemies OR maybe he’s a senior that she secretly had a crush on since childhood days ??  - ride or die, her partner in crime, the ying to the yang that could be her biggest shoulder to cry on/supporter/fan/everything  - a bad influence that constantly encourages her to party/drink ?? bc’ that’s always fun!  - childhood friends, friends since the diaper days that are like siblings - some type of unrequited ( or mutual ) crush she has on a close/best friend that she’ll absolutely NEVER admit to because she doesn’t want to ruin their friendship with feelings ?? skinny love is the cutest. - friendzoned bub that nat turned down unintentionally or intentionally - friends with benefits that either have or haven’t blurred the lines between the physical and emotional connection - the ex aka her first/last bf that broke her heart  - someone she tutors - secret summer romance she had with someone FORBIDDEN and now they’re like “let’s pretend it never happened kbye”  - and last but not least JOCK FRIENDS that she could consider her brothers and that could come over at her place to watch football and eat homemade burgers :D 

[ariistocracies]

i am ,, going to attempt to rush through this last intro bc i um . Suck and procrastinate on things jdslkjfs. im down trying 2 act cool so u guys ready my intros so we out here and this is my soft boy tony !!

shawn mendes. cismale. he/him. — did you see { anthony debarros }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { editorial assistant }, and have been living in jersey city for { five months }. some say they’re { fickle & over-analytical }, but i think they’re { diligent & empathetic }. regardless, i’m glad { tony } is here.

STATISTICS:

full name: anthony gabriel debarros nicknames: tony hometown: seattle, washington sexuality: pansexual gender: cismale spoken languages: english, spanish, & french hogwarts house: ravenclaw

BACKSTORY + PERSONALITY:

okie so to start off, tony was born into a fairly middle class family in seattle, washington where his mom was a pediatrician and his dad was a police officer for the city and it was the typical white picket fence kind of life with tony, his older brother samuel ( 23 ) and his younger brother jesse ( 18 )

tbh normal was the most likely word that tony would use to describe his life ?? he got along with his parents and brothers for the most part and kept his head down in school and mainly focused on his studies ?? loved reading and could definitely read a  whole book in a day if he wanted ,, which he has done multiple times bc ya boi has a membership at barnes and noble and has no chill jslkfjdsl

his parents always tell him how much of a quieter child he was in comparison to samuel and jesse bc both are actually big into sports and the whole All American Boy type of persona with being great at football and flirting with pretty girls and having girlfriends where tony kind of just .. existed ?? lmao idk how to exPLAIN

he kind of just went through the motions, was definitely considered the quiet and geeky kid in his class and made ppl surprised since samuel was v popular when he was in school and with jesse a grade below him, it was more believable that sam and jesse were related than tony being their brother ?? just bc the stark difference in personalities

tony didn’t mind much since he usually kept to his own devices, had his own small group of friends and went through the motions of high school and his part time job as a server at a popular restaurant in seattle ,, def one of the kids in all a.p classes and excels in all of his classes without needing to study much ?? but he does anyway bc he figures it’s a better past time than partying or drinking

definitely wears his heart on his sleeve and more in touch with his emotions than his brothers ,, loves them but also a bit :// since they tend to pick on him and tease him about being the black sheep among the debarros brothers and when jesse does it during school hours or just talks to him at his locker tony can’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable ?? just prefers blending in rather than sticking out

9/10 times u see him he probably has his headphones in bc music is a nice escape for him and it helps him focus rather than on ppl surrounding him since he’s not the biggest fan of large crowds of being the center of attention

more of an introvert who prefers nights in watching shows on netflix than big nights out .. i picture a v sad time when tony was in high school that bc he is v attractive bc hello shawn mendes ,, samuel and jesse dragged tony to a party once and tried to get tony to lose his virginity and got a girl to try and seduce him ?? tony was v uncomfortable and he was too anxious to say no when she brought him to a bedroom and little did he know that his brothers were filming in the closet ,, smh

tony got as far as kissing before pushing away when she tried to unbuckle his pants and then found out about his brothers and just felt v humiliated and didn’t speak to his brothers for a good two weeks after that and just retreated further into himself

that experience kind of just ,, ruined sexual encounters for him and for as much as he just wants to rid of his virginity since he feels like it’s a giant neon sign over his head, he’s too nervous to attempt anything ?? given he’s attracted to personality more than anything he’s just too lost in his head and potential romantic / sexual encounters make him anxious

he graduated as valedictorian in his grade and even though he’s incredibly brilliant, tony was completely lost of what he wants to do ?? and that was solidified when sam went off to join the marines and tony couldn’t decide which college to commit to and nearly took a year off before last minute deciding on villanova university for english !!

he graduates summa cum laude a semester early and ya mans secures a job at the publishing house that he interned at during the summer,, so now he works at simon and schuster in nyc where he commutes to on the daily to be an editorial assistant where he p much helps out senior editors with manuscripts and rejection/acceptance letters

he’s v protected bc his parents kind of babied him a bit ,, his mom loved him since he was the softer of his sons and they connected well emotionally and for as tough as his dad was, he was v supportive to tony and he has great communication with his mom and dad ,, they both grounded his brothers for a month after they finally got tony to tell them about the Incident nfjdsjfkl

so yeah just more so observant and quiet since he likes to watch ppl rather than jump head first in ,, v thoughtful but can lead to him over analyzing situations but overall a v sweet bub who is hoping to make some friends

[2jam4u]

jam, really happy for you! Things are falling into place! you don't have to get into details, obviously, but what kind of work are you doing? what was the process like? im struggling out here trying to finish school but im so broke and it feeds into my depression (plus the fact that even w/ a degree the job market is so shitty). I know it hasnt been easy for ya, but any tips/advice would be super helpful! xo

thank you sweet heart!! ok so basically what i did was come out of uni (dropped out but that doesn’t matter) and got a job as like a part time receptionist. if you can try to find some place where you know someone so they won’t necessarily need experience. in the interview relate every thing you’ve ever done in your life to the job sell yourself hard and act like being a receptionist is your calling in life. once you’re in somewhere make yourself invaluable as possible by learning literally as much as you can. take on extra tasks and responsibilities. make friends with managers of other departments and when they need help with something go above and beyond and mention that if they ever need your help again you’re more than willing you have time bla bla. then at some point someone will ask for help with a certain project and you’ll get slightly pulled away from your job to start doing both - this is the most important part. you have to act like juggling both is mad easy and again go above and beyond. companies always prefer to hire internally so when you’re friends with the managers drop hints about wanting to expand your experience and career opportunities. typically they follow that train of thought and give you more extracurricular work to do and it reflects well on you because a) go getter b) you’re constantly available to help and learn more c) you have more talents than on the surface aka a good candidate to move into another department.

that’s literally how it worked for both jas (started as a part time receptionist with a degree in philosophy and is now an expense manager) and i (dropped out of school three times and now i’m a ‘senior admin support’ and manage an office in Toronto and Montreal) and even my mom (who went to secretarial school and now is a lead for all of Canada for some IT nonsense). a lot of it is working hard, being annoyingly nice and patience. it doesn’t always happen quickly but it can happen. oh one really good thing to ask in the interviews is about career growth! mention that you’d like to stay in the position but if it remains stagnant (like if you’re able to take any other responsibilities can you?) because to them they don’t want to hear that you’re already thinking about moving on but you need to know if they’re the type of company that invests in their employees and supports career moves and growth based on your skills and talents.

not sure if that covered what you’re looking for but i hope it helps bub!

[motivatedcryptidtamer]

tagged by: @rosyredlipstick

I’m tagging: @happy-bub @groovygothh @markityler @vlindervin7 @theroyalsavage @buoyantsaturn @penguineatscarrots @oracleoflester

the last:

1. drink: I’m currently making some English Breakfast Tea

2. phone call: my friend Emma (we were making plans for this weekend)

3. text message: “bitch me too tf?”

4. song you listened to: Rehab by Amy Winehouse 

5. time you cried: When I was watching the season three, episode five of Voltron

have you ever: 6. dated someone twice: No 7. kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. been cheated on: No 9. lost someone special: No 10. been depressed: Helllllll yeah 11. gotten drunk & thrown up: Nah, I’m straightedge man

Favorite colors:

12. Orange

13. Green 

14. Mulberry (she so pretentious,it’s fucking purple)

in the last year have you: 15. made new friends: Yes, I’ve been lucky enough to meet tons of new people in the last year! 16. fallen out of love: No 17. laughed until you cried: Yes! All the time!  18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes, but I pretty much expect it from the people who did lol. 19. met someone who changed you: Yeah 20. found out who your friends are: Yep, at the time, it sucked. But it gave me a chance to figure who I was, which led to me meeting people who valued me as a person. 

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Mhmm

general: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all of them know me or know of me 23. do you have any pets: Three: I have a dog named Max and two hamsters (Memey Big Boy My Guy and Alexander Hamsterton) 

24. do you want to change your name: Yeah, I have four names, one is my last name, and the other three are extremely pretentious 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: My friend let me use her house to have a small get together with some close friends, then we all went to a hotel for the night and had a huge sleepover

  26. what time did you wake up: I’m a morning bird, I woke up at 8:00 AM  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: texting my friends and drifting off to sleep 

28. name something you can’t wait for: The day where it all comes together  31. what are you listening to right now: I’m watching a video about revenge stories

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Huh, now that I think about it, I haven’t 

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Okay I’m about to start my senior year of high school, and my dad keeps joking about how after high school, your time for having fun is over. It bothers me because while I understand that life gets real after high school, I refuse to live a boring life after I graduate. I’m not going to accept negative ideas in a world where I have free will and literally anything is possible.

34. most visited website: Youtube, Amazon, Wikipedia  35. hair colour: Super super super dark brown, most people think it’s black

36. long or short hair: So when I keep my hair staright, I prefer to keep it short, when it’s natural, I prefer to keep it long 39. piercings: Yep, just in my ears rn though 40. blood type: O+ 41. nicknames: Blitz, Goblin, Alexandra Hamilton, Hammy, Sara Bear/Kiddo/Little Bear (by my older sisters) 

42. relationship status: Single 

43. zodiac: Saggitarius?? I was born within three hours of the shift to Capricorn though, so depending on the time I was born I could be a Capricorn?????? 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER also Parks and Rec 46. tattoos: No (one day though) 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: Yep 49. piercing: Yes 50. sport: No, I don’t hate them, they’re just not my thing

51. vacation: No current plans at the moment, but I’m always a slut for traveling 52. pair of trainers: I have these orange converse that are my favorite shade or orange, I really like these sunflower vans, and I have this pair of combat boots that I never wanna part with... I also have a pair of light up shoes that I save for special occasions

more general

53. eating: I’m about to make some chicken and rice 54. fav drink: Tea and Milkshakes

55. what you’re up to: Talking on the phone with my friend Jenn and bullet journaling 57. want: to stop doubting myself  58. get married: Yeah 59. career: dream - I’m going to become a professor of cultural anthropology  which is better: (I’m gonna assume this is dating related)

60. hugs or kisses: kisses 61. lips or eyes: BOTHHHH 62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: idk, both? stomach maybe?

65. hook up or relationship: relationship 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker fs

have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Oh God, all the time 70. turned someone down: Yes

71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart:  No 73. had your heart broken: Yes 74. been arrested: It’ll happen eventually, I go to too many protests for it not to happen 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yeah

do you believe in 77. yourself: Yes  78. miracles: Yes 79. love at first sight: Nah, maybe an urge to discover more about a person, but not full fledged love

80. santa claus: No 81. kiss on the first date: Yes 82. angels: Yes

other

83. current best friend’s name: ELLIE, my love

84. eye colour: Dark brown

85. favourite movie: Pulp Fiction, Coraline, and I haven’t seen it yet, but Get Out sounds wonderful

[alltheselights]

How did you decide what to major in in college? I'm in my first year in college and I don't really know what I want to do exactly. I'm a PR major right now because I got interested in how publicists market companies/people and how public images work and can shift people's perceptions-part of the reason why I like this fandom, lol. But now I'm kind of doubting my decision. I just don't really know. I like to write and research and analyze so I thought journalism might be good, but a lot of (1+)

(+) say that it’s a dying profession, and ofc I want to get a stable job. So I like things along that vein. I’ve even thought about majoring in psychology and going on and becoming a mental health counselor, but I don’t think I’m up for that much school plus the money. Do you have any advice Emma?

Sorry, this is a super long answer, so I put it under the cut.

Ahhh yes, the major decision is a tough one. I actually entered college convinced that I would be a psychology major because I’d taken a psychology class in high school and loved it, but upon taking a psychology class my first semester of college, I quickly realized that wasn’t for me at all. Toward the end of my first semester, I was chatting with a group of friends about how I really had no fucking idea what to major in, and that’s when one of my friends said to me “well, you’re obsessed with politics, so why don’t you try Political Science?” Her brother was a Poli Sci major so she knew quite a bit about it, but I had never even considered that major before - I’m not sure I’d even heard the term “Political Science” before entering college, actually. Once she said that though, I was like….damn, why aren’t I a Poli Sci major? I never wanted to be a politician, but that major isn’t just for politicians, it’s for anyone even remotely involved in politics, and once I discovered that, I decided to change my major to it on a whim, knowing I could change it later if I needed., I ended up loving all my classes, and it was the best decision I made during my college career. I declared Women & Gender Studies as my second major about a year later because I’d loved a few classes I’d taken as electives (bonus: a lot of them related to politics) and because at least at my university, most Women & Gender Studies majors had it as their second major rather than their first major, which meant it was a very flexible course schedule and easy to manage. And I ended up choosing my second major, Political Communication, my junior year because I’d found my Political Communication-related classes to be the most fascinating of any of the other Political Science classes.

So that’s my story, which really was quite easy mainly out of luck more than anything else. As far as advice goes, my first piece of advice would be to try taking electives related to any majors you’re considering so you can get a bit of a taste for everything and narrow down the list of what you enjoy and what you’re considering. It’s easy to say “I’m interested in this, so I should maybe major in this” - that’s what I did with Psychology - but once you start actually taking classes, you start to get a real understanding of what the skills or topics you enjoy so much are actually like in practice in a particular field, so that can sometimes make it easy to cross something off your list.

I do want to address two things you mentioned. Firstly, the dying profession thing. I totally understand wanting a stable job - that’s obviously of critical importance - but it’s also important to keep in mind that some career paths, including journalism, are not so much “dying” as they are just “changing.” Print journalism is struggling, of course, but there are a lot of online options now, and keep in mind that journalism is still as important to society as ever. If you work hard and really excel in a field like that, you’ll probably be okay getting a job. Secondly, the school and money thing. I’m not saying to definitely go with Psychology or any major that will require further school after your bachelor’s degree, but I do want to say that if it’s something you’re truly interested in and committed to, you probably won’t end up minding having to do more school later on, even if it seems overwhelming at the moment. Also, for many PhD and Master’s programs, as long as you got good grades, you can get much better scholarships and other financial aid than you were able to get for undergrad. I have student loans from undergrad, but when I went to get my Master’s, my university paid ME to attend. So that’s just something to keep in mind.

If you want to be super practical about it, one thing you might want to do is go down the list of majors at your school, jot down all the ones you could see yourself doing, and then figure out what careers are most relevant to that major, (sometimes, a few of the options are not what you’d expect), how popular are those careers (meaning how likely is it that you’ll be able to get a job), how much money do people in those careers make, and so on. Once you have a list and are able to compare, it might be easier for you to make a decision that way. For me, my decision for a major was a complete gut decision, and I didn’t end up regretting it at all, but I realize that some people prefer to really analyze the options, so if you think that will work for you, definitely try it out and see if you can make a good informed decision about what to study that way.

The last thing I’ll say is this - try not to sweat it too too much. For some jobs, yes, they are looking for people who majored in a particular field, but for a lot of jobs, they just want someone who has a degree, which means even if you continue with PR and don’t want to be a PR person, you’ll still be able to find a job - maybe in a somewhat relevant field, and maybe in something different where they don’t care so much about what you studied, they just want you to have a good education. (And by the way, with PR at least, it’s relevant in basically every field these days in one way or another, so that’s a huge added bonus). It’s ideal that you pick a major that will later help you on your career path, but you’re not 100% tied down to it. If you’re a bit uncertain, it’s particularly helpful to take electives and choose internships that let you put your hands in a few different pots so you can get a variety of skills that will help you in a future career - even if that career isn’t 100% aligned with what you studied. Just as a brief anecdote - my boyfriend in college studied elementary ed, and upon reaching our senior year, he was like…..shit, I don’t want this. He ended up doing online training for computer tech when he graduated from college and he now works with computers. Obviously what he did was kinda a huge waste of the money his parents spent on undergrad and I’m not saying it was the wisest decision, BUT my point is that you will always have options, and no matter what you end up choosing, it will be okay in the end.

I hope this advice helped somewhat, bub! Good luck.

[bruceeves]

“Work # 965: Him & Me”

HIM: What’s up Butchie? ME: Up and at all day and now I’m off to bed . . . alone :-( . . . HIM: I know what that's like far too well. ME: It's a bugger the single life. HIM: I’ve been single for 20 yrs. I’m reaching out for friendship, boys, men, and of course subs ‘n slaves. I know I don't want to be single anymore. I’m tired of it. ME: I was with a guy for years and we got married on out 25th anniversary . . . and then cancer decided to pay a visit. I’ve been single now since 2004. HIM: I’ve been single since I was 24, I’ve been since 1996. I was with an 18 yr old. He was lovely; he hooked up with an older mature guy, stable and money. HIM: Sorry for your loss. ME: Thanks, I’m over it now (sort of) I guess. HIM: That's good. It’s good to share. ME: It is. I’m Bruce btw. HIM: Hi Bruce. Marty here. ME: Hiya Marty, I’m in Toronto, you're at which lake? Ontario has a lot of them. HIM: Ontario is blessed with lakes and water. I’m at the height of the Ontario watershed, I’m on Lake Temagami. It’s an artist’s paradise. I also hold my own art shows and invite guests. ME: Do you curate as well? HIM: I have thought of doing that, I also looked at a grant for that I saw a grant for $50 to $70,000 for that. Wufff. ME: You'd have a good chance of getting it too because of your location. I’d not applied for arts funding for years and years but I’m going to submit to the Ontario Arts Council this year in the Senior Artist category. What kind of work do you do Marty? HIM: I paint but won’t claim it’s my forte not even for a millisecond. I create in cloth, leather and use fur as well.im also mixed race Native and White. So a lot of my work has a Native influence. I bead as well. Make simple jewelry. I do leather craft, and my fave works are with quills and bark. I also make touristy things like organic dream-catchers, drums and the like. HIM: Do you have a big cock? ME: Being mixed-race gives you a leg up in the arts grant department and I have a average sized cock (cut) and you? HIM: I can work the First Nations angle till death. I’m above thickness with average length. HIM: Cut. ME: That sounds tasty! If you check out the O.A.C. site they explicitly say priority is given to aboriginal artists. My grandmother's grandmother was Cree, but I wouldn't dare . . . HIM: LOL ME: Could I see some more pics? HIM: I have a status card if that helps, I live on rez too. HIM: Did you see my pics in the profile??? If so that all I have. HIM: Do you know the Asspig site? ME: I’m just a standard member so I can't access anything but the most public pics. I know that site yes. The status card and rez would be helpful indeed. HIM: Here’s a few. HIM: Many people come to the rez to buy arts and crafts and I help them spend their money. ME: Nice looking fella . . . . HIM: Thanks. ME::-) I’m going for a walk now – I’ve got to get out of the house. Talk to you later Marty . . . HIM: Later. ME: Back . . . but I’m going out for the evening (nothing exciting). HIM: That's OK I'm at a dinner meeting. ME: My evening turned into a dud -- I went to a screening and it was sold out! HIM: Ahhh shitty. Hate that shit. ME: I know, but it got me out of the house for a bit and I had a nice chat with the filmmaker who's sort of a friend so at least he knows I tried to see his work. There may be a future screening so all's not lost. HIM: That's good to hear, do you have contact info for him or the screening, can u reserve a seat??? ME: It's the Images Festival and its all first come first serve :-( HIM: Ah SHITTY. ME: It's no big deal. How’s your week going Marty? HIM: Busy, busy, busy, and I love it, making a few extra bucks for hydro bill. ME: Same on this end -- I'm chained to the computer for the next few days (and not in the good way) to plow through a whole lot of stuff -- I’d prefer to sit in my back yard and watch the flowers grow, but . . . . HIM: I’m looking at the ice surrounding my island, wishing for hot weather, time to start boating, lovely break up, countless ice crystals clinking on the shore line, the loons haunting cries, the eagles, the moose the bear etc... love it. ME: Sounds fantastic (except for the ice) I’ve got a nice big garden and everything is starting to pop up now. HIM: I’m about 500 km north of you. ME: I’m beginning to hate the city – if I didn't have a back garden I think I’d go nuts. HIM: I hated the city a long time ago. I love living on the lake. ME: I’ve never learned to drive, so moving to the country would be a problem. HIM: Well I know how to drive, I have driven around the island, although it’s kind of not legal. I’ll take keys off people if they had a few drinks. ME: Why is it not legal? Good that you're the designated driver though. HIM: I don't have a driver license. ME::-) I can see how that could get you into a bit of trouble . . . HIM: True. ME: Have you ever been caught? I hope not. HIM: I was pulled over by the police more than 20 years ago as a DD without a license. He didn't even ask for a drivers permit. ME::-) My dad got stopped by the cops once because he was driving too slowly – they thought he was drunk. He was just looking at the farms and scenery . . . :-) HIM: Shitty but it’s nice to see the countryside. ME: Yes, I grew up in the country north of Toronto. HIM: Very nice, what area? ME: Newmarket – it was a tiny town when we moved there, my dad was born there but moved away, now it's huge and not so great. But when I was there I wanted out, there was nothing there for a gay kid. HIM: I guess not, yeah that area really developed. ME: It's pretty awful now. HIM: It’s a shame the lands around Toronto are built up, it’s the best farmland in Canada. The first 400 km with in distance of the CN Tower is the best farmland in Canada. Sprawled up ugly fucking houses. ME: hopefully the green belt has stopped that. HIM: It’s too bad Toronto and surrounding area didn't build up first and then out. I hate those houses especially in the Maple area near Wonderland. Fucking ugly houses with all those foreigners living in them. ME: Toronto is very sprawling, it's a result of not being hemmed in by geography – but the lessons have been learned and the city is now becoming more intensified and vertical (which in itself causes other problems. I lived in NYC for many years and HATED IT there, but as far as livable cities go Toronto is up near the top. Off for my daily walk now . . . HIM: Yes Toronto is one of the world, this I already know. I lived there for 7 years. ME: How long ago were you living here -- I moved in 1978 and came back in 2001. HIM: I was there 1996 to 2003. ME: We could have crossed paths. HIM: Probably. You are familiar looking, by chance did you ever have a boyfriend named Allan and he worked at Bubs Subs, Church and Wellesley. ME: No -- I’d come back to Toronto with my man John in 2001 and we were together until he died in 2004. HIM: Sorry to hear of your partner’s death. ME: It was quick -- he was sick for only six months. HIM: Wow. Sorry to hear that nonetheless. HIM: BTW you have nice pits. ME: Thank you very much! HIM: I love pit hair.... especially thick, burly belly and chest hair. HIM: What are you into sexually? ME: Actually I’m sort of vanilla. HIM: Oh sorry. I’m anything but vanilla. ME: What are you into? HIM: Leather, rough, all left black, navy, red, yellow, grey. ME: I understand all the colours except grey. HIM: Bondage. ME: That's right, now I remember. HIM: I’m into more than that. Love nasty raunch, too. ME: I’m mostly a kisser and cocksucker, boring I know. HIM: They can be good too. ME::-) You're too kind. HIM: I love guys who suck and swallow. Wooffff. ME: I do both. HIM: Nothing like a good service pig to suck a nice cock and bring him to completion. ME: I also like 69ing and then mixing the cum together on our tongues. HIM: I loveeeeee 69. I can get sucked off for hours without cumming but I tend to blow quickly if I 69. ME: And cum eating? HIM: I’ve only eaten cum once from another guy. ME: Mine tastes very good. HIM: That's nice...... I really don't get much action round here, but I do crave to suck cock and fuck. I would suck yours and swallow it. I know I wanna suck. I wasn't much into sucking when I was younger. ME: I’d let you suck my cock anytime :-) HIM: LOL I’m sure. You shooting neg or poz loads? ME: I’m clean, negative. HIM: I hate the line, I’m clean. It’s like anyone else who has been infected in some shape or form is dirty. Its dehumanizing really. I’m poz. Wanted you to know that. ME: Sorry my mistake – you're right. I’m not one of those idiots that run for the hills when they hear poz. HIM: That's good. ME: I lived through the darkest days of the epidemic in the 80s and 90s when I was in NYC. HIM: Wow. That’s very impressive and sad at the same time. ME: It was absolutely horrible, HIM: You made it though and yuu are strong for that. I think it was created in a lab and used to depopulate. ME: That's crossed my mind and the minds of many others as well. HIM: Sure it’s just a branch in the plan to depopulate the world. ME: There was an overt attempt to stigmatize gay men in the '80s and '90s and I’m not entirely sure that that has not gone away, it's just less hostile and aggressive. HIM: Well the ‘80s was harsh as a teen and the ‘90s were pretty gay. ME: That whole period was really hard for me, especially because I was living in a place that I hated, it got better when I came back to Canada but then was almost immediately followed by tragedy. It’s good now though. HIM: Yikes. ME: I came back to Canada in 2001 and in 2003 both my mother and my partner were in the same hospital at the same time. HIM: I’m sure it feels a bit of relief to share the grief. But sometimes you gotta think does the person need or are able to hear it, how will they feel afterwards. I don't wanna hear any more depressing energy from you. ME: Fine, my life is good now. HIM: That's good. ME: Yes it is, except for not enough money and no boyfriend, it's perfect. HIM: LOL I hear you. ME: Such is modern life, I think. HIM: I ain’t a fan of modern. ME: 21st century then. HIM: I love my life in the bush. ME: I like my back garden – it's facing away from the city, it's quiet, relaxing. HIM: That's always nice. I had a shitty apartment and no garden or yard in the city.... I miss my friends, music, men and the convenience of food. My yard is now Lake Temagami, have a look-see. ME: That's fantastic. HIM: I’m so blessed to be here and love it so much. Although there’s no gay community here, I’m wanting love and have considered moving, I’m thinking south-west New Mexico or Palm Springs, California. ME: Are there any larger small towns nearby that may have a fledgling community? HIM: The nearest bigger center is North Bay. HIM: Really funny I connected with a slave last night from North Bay. ME: How far is that away from you? HIM: A little over an hour away. ME: That's not too bad at all -- I’d imagine North Bay has some sort of gay community, or am I wrong to assume that? HIM: It’s closeted, its small and although there is a rainbow church. ME: Sounds old fashioned but it's better than nothing -- in a lot of ways Toronto is kind of closeted too. HIM: I’m a Satanist now. ME: Oh? HIM: yes it’s been about 5 months of the dark side for me, I love it. ME: That may narrow the community a bit. HIM: I don't care. Since my change it’s been hotter, already had a boy visit me and more on the way. Its working for me 100 fold already. Today is the 50 year anniversary of the church of SATAN . . . HS. I rejoice in the darkness. ME: What does it offer that you can't get elsewhere? HIM: I don't need to explain it to you. ME: OK. HIM: That's good. ME::-) HIM: Butchie . . . pick a subject, fetish or kink. ME: Fetish. HIM: What’s the hottest fetish out there? What’s fetish mean to you? ME: I just got in and I’m sort of drunk -- I’ll think about this. HIM: LOL where did u go??? ME: I spent many hours at The Black Eagle . . . fetish-wise I sort of have a thing for muscle worship. HIM: AHHH LOVED THE BLACK EAGLE. DOES IT STILL HAVE THAT RANK ODOUR TO IT? ME: They've installed a dance floor . . . a dance floor!!!!!! HIM: Wow. ME: Yes, I was shocked. HIM: Wow. ME: It’s just like any ordinary bar now. HIM: I heard they even allow females. ME: There were none there yesterday and I don't think there's a female washroom, so I’m not sure. HIM: I had heard awhile back females were allowed. ME: Apparently 1/3 of Woody's customers are now women. HIM: When I left the city, the scene was still somewhat sacred. ME: I haven't been to Church Street in years. Sunday night was the first time in forever, and it was pretty ridiculous. HIM: LLLOOOLLL. ME::-) The Eagle has a dance floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIM: Yes you told me earlier, I still can’t believe it. Wow. ME: Neither can I, I just keep repeating to myself inside my head -- a dance floor? a dance floor! a dance floor? a dance floor! . . . HIM: OK we both know it, now we can both accept the sacrilege. ME: I will never darken their door again  HIM: LOL ME::-) morning . . . HIM: morning Butchie. ME: I’m out in the garden all day today. HIM: Good for you. ME: Did a lot of veggie planting and then I had a nap. HIM: That's a good days work. ME: And it's going to be warm from now on plus rainy – I have more to put in but the stock isn't in yet. I like gardening, it's relaxing. HIM: Of course it is, gardening is amazing. ME: My back is so sore now though. HIM: Good. ME: YEAH? Then give me a massage. HIM: It means you’re alive. ME::-) I’ll finish the rest of the planting today. HIM: Don't ever complain to me when your white and male and living in North America..... you could be a nigger starving in Africa. Or a woman in the Middle East with one arm because her other hand was chopped off for stealing a loaf of bread because she was hungry and trying to feed her babies. ME: I’m not complaining about anything and the rant is uncalled for. HIM: Frankly, I don't care about your gardening when this is a sex kink site. Have a nice life Butchie. Don’t message me again.

April 17-May 6 2016

[celiakane5139535-blog]

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1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? - work, boys, school.. ya know typical girl stuff

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? - on days i don’t see them in the morning, yes

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? - you do you, just please don’t do hard core shit

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? - no

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? - knitting :)

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? - probably jess or josh lol

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? - i wouldn’t be shocked, shit happens to me all the time 

8: Are you close with your dad? - yes

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? - false

10: What are you listening to? - Where’s My Love by Syml

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? - water

12: Do you like hickeys? - not obnoxious ones, i got that out of my system lol

13: What time do you go to bed? - recently around 1-2 lol

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? - my “best friends”

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? - yes

16: Do you always answer your texts? - no

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? - i wish i did.. 

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? - 4 hours ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? - yes :)

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? - I’m exhausted

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? - no

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? - fuck yes

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? - no.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? - yes. we always end on bad terms. i want to end things on good terms for once.

25: In the past week, have you cried? - lol i cried today

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? - no color bc I’m naked

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? - all the time

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? - more like I’m ignoring everyone lol

29: Do you have a best friend? - don’t feel like it 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? - id be pissed

31: Who was your last call/text message from? - josh

32: Are you mad at anyone? - yes

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? - yes.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? - 20

35: How many more days until your birthday? - 9!!!

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? - no :(

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? - josh and greg

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? - yes…

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? - yes

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? - no

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? - not really

42: Are you available? - not really but yes? idk

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? - 2

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? - I’m getting my nose pierced in september along w my nips

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? - i used to think yes but it always ends up as getting back together 

46: Do you regret anything? - yes, not saying what

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? - school

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? - many

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? - no

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? - distance and he’s one of my best friends and I’m not ruining that again

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? - he sees me cry all the time

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? - everyday

53: What was the last thing you ate? - chocolate bc I’m bleeding

54: Did you get any compliments today? - my freckles !

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? - either I’m taking a road trip in august to move a friend into school in the middle of the states of next spring break to florida

56: Do you own anything from other countries? - a shot glass from france lol 

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? - not sure

58: Where have you lived most of your life? - town i live in now

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? - 2 weeks ago to philly

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? - nopee

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? - santi was gonna help me back in May but he talked me out of it so no

62: Who do you text the most? - i don’t even know.. I’m slowly starting to stop using my phone

63: What was the last movie you saw? - Moana

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? - single

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? - 0 lol i was 13

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? - nope

67: Do you curse around your parents? - all the time

68: Are you happy with where you live? - no

69: Picture of yourself? - tomorrow

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? - if you’re mine i don’t share, sorry

71: Have you ever been dumped? - 4 times by one dude and 1 time by a dude from Alabama (long distance)

72: What do you most like about making out? - how close and connected i feel with the other person

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? - yea this dude Bobby lol 

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? - them

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? - eyes

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? - uhhh not sure

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? - yea lol

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? - not full name, just first

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? - when someone buys me coffee

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? - if i truly cared for them then yes

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? - yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? - not really 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? - .

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? - honestly probably back in March 2016 with Santi.. we went to the diner and we left around midnight and we both had school in 6 hours but the moon was full and stars were out and he grabbed me and started singing to me and we slow danced for a while… *mid typing remembered senior prom w josh lol sorry bub*

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? - already have

86: How can I win your heart? - affection 

87: What is your astrological sign? - cancer

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? - sleeping

89: Do you cook? - yes

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? - yes.. sadly

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? - i want one rn but i kinda don’t but idk 

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? - one person

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? - in shape and good hygiene is a must

94: Name four things that you wish you had! - 1. money   2. another pup   3.  a new car   4. a new school

95: Are you a player? - no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? - no

97: Are you a tease? - no

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? - yes.

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? - yes and i sadly a part of me always will be but fuck him honestly lol

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? - nope

101: Hugs or Kisses? - hugs

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? - hell yes

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? - arms

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? - yessss 

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? - fuck no, i aint no home wrecker

106: Do you flirt a lot? - with certain people lol

107: Your last kiss? - josh

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? - nah only 4 in my life and my first kiss was in 2015 lol

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? - yes

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? - tbh probably santi(ex.. we tried 4 times over the span of 2 years but he kept ending it bc he’s a pussy)… he always held my face … but joshs are nice and gentle but WAIT LUKE HEMMINGS MY FUCKING MANNN

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? - yes

112: Does someone like you currently? - yes

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? - yes

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? - serious

115: Ever made out with just a friend? - yes

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? - depends 

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. - okay buddy thankuuu