#praying he regrets it but yeah he needs to own his shit

[rock-a-noodle]

Much respect to non-black people who cover rap songs and DON'T say the N-slur.

It costs $0.00 to do that.

[pinkmelodie]

The Red Means I Love You ❤︎

Summary: Jason Todd x fem!Reader. You and Jason used to date before you left to stay with the Titans. You both miss each other more than you’d like to admit, but stay out of contact. Fast forward to after he died, you encounter Redhood. Old feeling stir, and before you know it you’re bent over the motorcycle of someone you swore you’d leave in the past.

Warnings: Angst -> smut, 18+, p in v, unprotected s$x, mentions of death & terrorism.

A/N: This takes place right after s3ep2, right after they find out Redhood’s identity :3

You didn’t fully know what was happening; just that there were too many hostages in the building—all who would be killed if not evacuated immediately. You were about to run and help the rest of the titans get everyone as far away as possible before Kory pulled you aside.

You went to protest before she quickly interrupted you, “Go search for Jason.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Uhm, what?”

“Look, I have a feeling he’ll listen to you better than anyone.” she said. “Jasons not someone who can be brought down by force. Shit, he came back from the fucking dead, you think he’s gonna let us beat this new…phase out of him?” 

You wanted to argue, but Kory wasn’t someone who was wrong often. She had a good point, and you knew you had to follow it.

“We’ve got this under control,” she assured, resting a reassuring but firm hand on your shoulder. “Go.”

You were skeptical, especially when you could see Gar in the distance shaking in his boots trying to convince an old lady to let him help her down the steps, and citizens clearly getting whiplash from Connor moving them to safety too fast. Your team was…definitely something, but with some hesitance you finally turned and ran in the direction of the one member you wanted to see.

…

“Jason!” You called out, your voice echoing through the barren alley. Gotham was creepy enough already without walking in some sketchy, busted up route in the pitch dark.

You kept calling but the only response you got was your own voice echoing back to you. You tried to scratch your mind for something to say that could persuade him, but you came up blank. Guilt ate at your conscience when you remembered that you hadn’t spoken to him for months before he died. 

To be honest, Jason never had anyone in his life to begin with. He told you that along with all his other secrets, and you still broke his heart. 

You stayed with the titans, thinking he was being naive for not wanting to. You didn’t think about the fact they never once tried to help him, or ever see him as more than an immature kid. They didn’t have the energy to help Jason through his issues so they just abandoned ship, sending him right back to Bruce and his horrible coping mechanisms.

As much as you wanted to be angry at Dick, or Kory or really anyone else for letting that happen, you had to face that you played your part.

Jason Todd died alone. He died feeling like no one would miss him, like he was a failure of a Robin and a failure of a titan. Because even after everything, all he wanted to do was prove himself.

So, yeah. Admittedly the first words you chose to say were not a good idea. Probably should’ve seen that one coming, but you never were too good at comforting him. was anyone?

“It didn’t have to be like this, you can still come back to the titans!” You tried to coax him, almost immediately regretting it. You quickly shut your mouth, tho the damage was already done. You just prayed he wasn’t here—he didn’t need to be provoked into blowing your brains out. 

Only when your muscles stopped tensing and you thought you got lucky, a voice you couldn’t even recognize rumbled above you. It shot ice up your veins and you would’ve frozen in place if you weren’t so adiment on seeing him again.

“Still taking about the titans? Why am I surprised.” He taunted, tilting his head in a gesture so familiar it made your heart ache. When you spun around you were met with someone you couldn’t believe was really Jason. He was standing on some rusted fire escape, a steel red mask boring right through you. 

You tensed, but not out of fear. No, you could never be scared of Jason, not the same nerd who woke up early to make you breakfast or who secretly wore reading glasses. 

You debated messaging him for months after your breakup, paragraphs on paragraphs you never sent. You had so much to say to him before, so why now did your mind go blank?

It was hard to see what he was feeling with the mask, but you could tell he was expecting a snarky remark back. When you just stood there dumbfounded, he sighed. “Look, I’m done trying to prove myself to them. To Bruce, to everyone! I don’t have to be some fucking nobody y/n, and neither do you.”

Now that made you snap out of whatever trance you were in. “‘and neither do you’? What are you trying to do, advertise me the life of crime?”

He groaned, “I don’t know why I ever tried with you. The titans are just a bunch of fucked up people acting like one big happy family, is that what you wanted? Are you happy you made that choice?” He sneered.

There was malice in his tone, but it wasn’t real. he didn’t feel angry anymore, just betrayed.

He would’ve splayed his heart out for you on a silver platter if you asked, just for you to turn your back on him. You followed him in his dreams, haunted him every time he smelt a familiar perfume, even appeared behind his shut eyelids while the life drained out of him. You were a part of him, and from what he knew you’d never looked back when you stormed out that day.

That’s why it shocked him when tears started to well in your eyes. God, your eyes—the ones he would subconsciously buy clothes of in the same colour. “You could’ve came with me,” you whispered. 

Your meek tone broke something in him. His shoulders relaxed and in a blink he leaped down, knees bending upon landing on the hard ground in front of you. Seeing him like this; the mask concealing his identity, various weapons strapped to his thighs and seemingly more toned than the last time you saw him—you could understand why everyone was on edge.

He stood there motionless, a silent and intimidating presence before you. You both stood there in unbearable silence until finally, he lifted his mask off.

His features were lit beautifully by the dim street light, eyes glinting ever so slightly. He looked exhausted—more troubled now, but you knew, despite everything, this was Jason. Your Jason, not who he was manipulated into.

“No, I couldn’t have.” he muttered begrudgingly, “they made that very clear.”

“So what, you just become a terrorist? Is that your idea of solving your problems?”

His fists clenched in barely concealed anger. “Bruce couldn’t save Gotham, so he abandoned it. I’ll be the one to fix it.” 

“By running around in a new suit and planting bombs everywhere? Real great strategy.” You rolled your eyes, but started to blush when you stared at him too long in the plated suit that fit him perfectly. You quickly caught yourself ogling and looked away, assuming he wouldn’t catch the red tinge on your face. 

You don’t know how you ever thought he wouldn’t notice. Of course he noticed, it’s Jason Todd.

For fucks sake, the guy noticed every detail about you. The way you’d avoid eye contact when nervous, the pace of your blinking quickening when you were lost in thought, the slight heighten of your voice when you were excited about something. All these tiny things and you thought he just wouldn’t notice the way you eyed him down all red in the face?

Come on, you were basically writing your true feelings out to him in big, bold… ..red letters…

and it’s not like Kory ever specified exactly what to do once you found him… .. .

So that’s how you ended up bent against his motorcycle in some busted up alleyway, pussy spread open on his dick.

You gasped and clawed pointlessly at his covered back; nails clinking uselessly against the metal armour of his suit. 

Your own suit was pulled off just enough to get access to your cunt, panties pulled to the side so he could plunge his thick cock into you.

He was groaning more than he used to, and you could swear you even heard him whine. His pace was ruthless, thrusts messy but coordinated. He kept trying to push further inside you, pressing his body as close to you as possible like you would vanish at any moment. 

“Fuckfuckfuck-“ he rambled. Death heightened all of his senses—made things have so much more of an impact on him. Maybe he just missed you too much, or maybe he let himself forget how good you feel.

To be fair, you were far worse off than him. You would’ve alerted everyone in Gotham if he wasn’t covering your mouth with a gloved hand, though it’s not like anyone here would bat an eye to screaming.

“My poor baby just been lonely, s’that it?”He teased, manhandling you by your hips to meet his harsh thrusts. 

“Nobody to fill up this pretty hole like I do, such a shame,” he pouted in faux sympathy, as if he wasn’t balls deep at the moment.

“I’m back now. Fuck the titans, I’ve always treated you better, haven’t I?” He’s fucking your ability to form coherent words right out of your throat, but he knows your answer when you squeeze around him.

“Jay!” you moaned into his palm. Your cunt was squelching embarrassingly loud with each thrust, thighs shaking so hard you for sure would’ve fallen over if he wasn’t holding you up. Every drag of his cock in you hit the perfect spots, just like he remembered you love.

“You don’t even care that I’m red hood, do you?” he asked, his tone full of confidence. “Nah, you don’t. So fucking wet, does my suit get you off princess?” 

He moved his hand to play with your clit, getting it soaked with your fluids. You were too cock-drunk to lie bite back, just nodding desperately and mewling out something akin to a yes.

He smirked. “Pussys sucking me in the same too, fuck- I missed this. I missed you.”

He acted cocky when he was fucking you like this because it’s the only way he was sure you even wanted to be around him. Not much to complain about when his big dick is ravaging you, no?

Deep down he always felt right at home with you. He wouldn’t admit it, but he would give up red hood for you. He’d give up anything for you, actually. Nothing mattered as long as you were with him. And he wasn’t letting you go this time.

With the ministrations on your clit and him pounding into you, it wasn’t a surprise when that knot in your stomach came undone quickly. Especially not with how many failed orgasms you had with your fingers, pretending it was him.

Ever attentive, he noticed immediately. “You gonna come, baby? Try not to get any on the new suit.” He winked, as if you were gonna squirt for him. (You have, many times.)

The cherry on top was when he unexpectedly flipped his mask back down and leaned in to whisper right into your ear with that deep voice, “come for me”

And you were gone. You came with a cry of his name, eyes rolling back and toes curling. Your pussy gushed all over his dick, forming a white ring around it that you could see every time he slammed his hips.

Seeing your pretty face so euphoric was what sent him over the edge, and grudgingly he pulled out, pearly white cum shooting all over your stomach.

You spent a minute regaining your breath while he pressed gentle kisses all over your throat. He only let up when you whined at the slight pain of the pressure on your newly forming hickeys. He tucked himself back into his pants and re-adjusted his belt. You were wondering if he planned on just leaving until he took his coat off and wrapped it around you.

He moved you so you were set down properly on the back of his motorcycle and then stepped on. You instinctively laid against his back, resting your head on his shoulder and he admired you with pure adoration.

“Wrap your arms around me babe,” he hummed, affectionately rubbing your thigh that was pressed to his.

When your brain finally caught up to what was happening you gave him a confused look.“Wha- wait! Where are we going?” 

He looked at you like you were crazy for even questioning it. “Home,” he laughed, “what? Did you think death was gonna do us part, baby?”

[curtins]

SOLDIER, POET, KING — toji, suguru, satoru minors dni!

prologue. → medieval...bardcore...need i say more? thou art going back to middle earth with this one folks 😁

pairing. warrior!toji fushiguro x afab!reader / court advisor!suguru geto x afab!reader / emperor!gojo satoru x afab!reader

warnings+. toji takes thee against a tree, geto's a munch, gojo's just kinda needy. doing it outdoors, getting eaten good on a lot of cushions, giving a massage?

word count. 4.5k song inspiration. soldier, poet, king — the oh hellos

a/n. listened to the bardcore cover of shakira's hips dont lie while writing. toji's is short tho idk why dont @ me

mp3. he will tear your city down (soldier) / he will slay you with his tongue (poet) / smeared with oil like david's boy (king)

TOJI FUSHIGURO — there will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword.

you're not sure what initially possessed you to follow him into the dense woods outside the encampment, but you sure as hell don't regret it now, not with the rough bark of the tree pressed against your back, grounding you as one of toji's large hands find their home on the back of your neck. the light pressure has you entirely dizzy, but that could also be attributed to the rough drag of his thick cock against your inner walls, slam!

over and over, at a giddying pace that sends shivers down your spine, and stars dancing across your eyes. the scent of pine, earth, and your own dripping arousal fills the air, and you groan as you taste the saltiness of the warrior's skin and the sweetness of his tongue, stained from the ginger confections that soldiers usually shared around the camp to invigorate them through the long nights.

his lips are demanding, fiery even as they push harder against your own, and you shudder as you feel the scrape of a thin scar against your cheek as the world fades away.

the only sound being your quivering breath, and the filthy smack! of his pelvis against your legs, which have been unceremoniously spread against the tree, riding your skirts up and if toji were to step away, and leave you there, all would see the silver, glassy sheen that dripped from your puffy folds.

but you pull him closer, wrapping your own shaking arms around his broad shoulders, as you mewl for him to keep going.

"there! ah! it's so - so deep, toji!" you try to contain your voice to a whisper, desparately praying that his comrades nearby aren't alerted to the lewd sounds erupting from the two of you.

but he looks merely pleased, dangerous like this, and his green eyes are hazed over with lust, the feeling of your tight cunt felling such a powerful and feared commander, "yeah, shit - deeper then?"

and he's angling himself closer to you, so his fat, bulbous tip must be kissing your most sensitive spot, the rough, spongy patch that makes you squeal and sigh, and cry out as you thread your fingers through his choppy dark hair.

"hope you can keep up, fuck!" and toji fushiguro's eyes are gleaming, "i can go till dawn."

didn't the sun set not a mere hour ago?

SUGURU GETO— there will come a poet who's weapon is his word

suguru geto's name is woven into every conversation at court, from the grand feasts to the courtyards where soldiers train. his silver tongue is one of legend, so sharp that it can cut through the thickest of political games, twisting even the most steadfast men and women into submission.

it had been hard not to ignore the sheer gravity of his presence, tall with dark eyes like pools of liquid twilight, and raven hair that's fallen haphazardly out of his topknot as he had led you into his chambers, "i know you've been listening to the rumours, people say many things about me," and his pink lips curl up, "but none can truly capture the beauty of my work."

your tone is breathy under his touch, "and what exactly is your work, geto?"

he's laid you back against the plush cushions of the divan, where tapestries (worth a king's ransom) hang over the walls, and his lips are now ghosting over your neck, "call me suguru," and there he presses soft, shallow kisses, "the court is full of pawns, but it is my job to make them kings."

it's hard not to tremble when his lips are travelling further down, scattering marks over your collarbones, "and me?"

his eyes are now locked with yours, and the world around you seems to slow, "you, an esteemed lady of the court? i could make you a queen."

you can smell the faint scent of sandalwood mingling with the scent of your own heady ache, and it makes your heart race. his lips are teasing, gentle and intoxicating like a fine wine that leaves you craving more, as you let your hands travel under his dark robes and over smooth skin.

gradually, his kisses travel down, moving from your collarbone to the shadow between your breasts, courtesy of his hands making quick work of your gown, then trailing along your stomach, each kiss igniting a trail of warmth that leaves a hot syrup pooling between your legs.

"hngh - lower, suguru! keep going!" and you angle yourself so your legs are spread wide and he can slot his broad frame right between them, right where you need him.

but he is not one to be direct, ever, and he gives you a teasing smile as he ghosts his fingers across silk-sodden undergarments, "lower?" and now he's pressing the pads of his fingers across the fabric, leaving lightning shocks in their wake, "lower, like here?"

and his fingers have found home, drawing figure-eights over your throbbing bud as you arch your back up, "yes, fuck, right there!"

you're given not a second or more to breathe, or choose your next course of action before suguru geto is tearing the offending garments off, and away, tossing them far from the divan as you gape incredulously.

silvertongue. the mere epithet does not do justice to how his mouth is laving hot kisses at your core, where the tip of his tongue is prodding at your fluttering entrance, and up over your puffy clit, before hollowing out his cheeks to suck.

GOJO SATORU — there will come a ruler who's brow is laid with thorn

the throne room is vast like a frost-kissed sky, and it stretches beyond what the human eye can comprehend. and the floor beneath your silk slippers is a pale marble sheen, icy and smooth as each step of yours echoes softly, swallowed by the immense space around you, as if the room is holding its breath.

there's a slight smirk curling at the corners of the emperor's lips, his pale hair falling softly around his face like the cool winds of winter that he commands — as he lounges back on the throne carved from white stone that is so pure, it gleams like ice.

"ah, i was wondering when you would come," and his voice is smooth and low, like the calm before a storm that leaves the earth ravaged, "my sweet courtesan."

"it seems my lord missed me?" now you're on the steps of the throne, and you know that you are the only one, save for the emperor himself, who can make it this far without being blown to pieces or ripped apart by the winds.

you know that he favours you, keeps you as a prize above all others, summons you at the most arbitrary of times to please him, as he does to you.

it is a fearful thought, that gojo satoru would defy the laws of gods and elders to claim you as a partner - one who would sit the throne alongside him as an equal, perhaps one day, but not yet.

the realm need not pay the price in blood for that.

your fingers dip into the bowl of warm oil, the scent of live and rosemary filling the air with an earthy, calming aroma as gojo shrugs the heavy indigo robes off his thick shoulders. the oil is cool at first, but it warms on his skin, gliding effortlessly over gojo's flesh. and you press gently at first, the oil easing against his skin, leaving a faint sheen as you work through the tight knots along his neck.

you hear a soft groan escape his lips, deep and resonant, as your fingers work into the knots of his muscles.

"i must be the luckiest man in the empire," he teases, and his voice is low and playful, as he runs his tongue over his lips leaving a gloss over his petal-pink mouth that you want to capture with your own, "i fear i'm becoming too accustomed to your...delicate, mmph! ministrations."

you snort, digging the heel of your hand harder into the muscle, and another moan escapes him, deeper this time, and it ignites something primal within you.

as your hands travel lower, you find yourself leaning closer, so your mouth ghosts over the shell of his ear, radiating red and hot.

gojo glances back at you, and you can see that the ice-blue of his eyes has become glazed over with desire, "if you keep this up, i might forget that i'm supposed to be in control here."

you indulge yourself, running your hands now over the front of his chest, feeling the ba-dump! underneath his pectoral muscles as you glide your fingers across him, "just wait, my lord, i can be quite persuasive when the mood strikes," you flick a pink nipple, and watch as he shifts, "perhaps, we might even shift control."

before you know it, he closes the space between you, with a soft laugh, and your lips meet his, soft and tentative at first — deepening as he pulls you onto his lap, and you gasp as you feel the thick bulge underneath the woven fabric, skirting your hips against it for the most delicious friction.

still, the oil slicks your hands as you run them over as much skin that you can find, and it's messy, full of fervour, as he runs his hands now up your robes, and prods a slender finger right past your gaping, quivering entrance, the ring of muscle allowing him in easily, such was your own want.

"now this," he whispers, the slighest whimper falling through his voice, against your lips, "- is how a true emperor enjoys his courtesan."

[justagamerandaweeb]

Peer Pressure - Modern AU! Gyutaro x Reader

There isn't a lot of writing for this sexy MF. And seeing that I've only made a smut with this dude once, why not give him another one?

Art by @rasshu-benaio, divider by @mikeykuns, And MDNI banner by @roseschoices

The following smut includes: sex (duh), choking, blowjob, cum swallowing, rough sex, usage of aphrodisiacs, drugged sex, dry humping, doggystyle, missionary, nipple sucking, slight degradation, a lot of f-bombs (thanks to Gyutaro's vocab), female ejaculation, and ass smacking.

Gyutaro puts his car in park as he looks at you and says, "I can't believe you dragged me to be here." You pat his arm as you responded to him, "Come on, it'll be fun! Besides, you need to get out more." You unbuckled the seatbelt, and got out of the car. "Yeah, if you consider talking to people you don't know, getting drunk, and regretting your choices the next day fun."

"And that, my friend, is the best part about college parties." You said, having a puerile smile on your face. He scoffs as he follows you to the front door of the big house that was owned by Michikatsu, and rung the doorbell. You both waited for the door open, and then heard the sound of the lockset unlocking, and the door opened.

It was Kaigaku who opened the door, wearing a onyx colored jacket with a black shirt under it and black ripped jeans. "Oh shit, hey guys! I didn't think you two would show up." He said, a little stupefied that you both actually came. "That's what I had in mind, but this rat insisted that we go." He said, pointing directly down at you.

"Hey! You hush, you praying mantis! All you do is stay in your dorm and play video games! You clearly don't have anything better to do." You clapped back at him, unaware that he was about to slap you on the back of your head. Kaigaku chuckles as he comments, "Well, at least y'all here now. Come inside, we got food, drinks, and some games we're about to play." He walked upstairs as Gyutaro smacked your head.

You held the back of your head as you exclaimed, "Ow! What was that for!?" He looks at you as he goaded, "That's for calling me a praying mantis." And smacks your rear, making you yelp. "Let's get this party over with so I can go back to my dorm." And went inside. You grumbled as you had no choice but to follow him.

Once they both made it upstairs, they were taken aback by how many people were there. Give or take, you both expected the Hantengu brothers, Douma, Hakuji, Kaigaku, Nakime, and Michikatsu to be here, but not the Hashira Club, excluding Gyomei.

"Whoa..." (Y/N) elicited.

"Yeah, mostly the people that we know are here. Even the others from the Hashira club. Supposedly this is a "Private party", as Michi calls it. So, uh... nothing much else to say other than have fun, I guess." And walks away. Shortly after, Gyutaro decided to sit on the couch, and pull out his phone.

You pouted as you trotted up to him, and yanked his phone away from his hands. He stayed there for a few seconds, and his neck snapped at you as he said, "Give me my phone."

"No."

He stands up and walks up to you, towering over you as he repeats himself, "Give me my phone." sounding more aggravated that time. You put his phone in your back pocket, and crossed your arms with a juvenile smile on your face as you repeated, "No."

A thick vein popped up on his forehead as he tried to reach for his phone by groping your ass, but you quickly backed up away from his as you waved your finger at him and said, "Ah, ah, ah, you can only have it back if you socialize with the others."

His eyes were slanted down to visualize his anger as he responded, "And if I say no?" You giggled as you said, "Then I'll break your phone." Gyutaro was about to say something crazy, but he sighs and rolls his eyes in defeat as he says, "Let's get this shit over with." A smile crept up to your face as he said, "Don't start."

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it." She said as she started to walk around, and he followed her. The first person they went up and talk to, was Hakuji. (Y/N) liked him as he was respectful to her. If anything, he was respectful to every woman he ever came across.

He was talking to one of the people from the Hashira club, he had yellow hair with red streaks at the end, and a small ponytail at the back of his head. Both of them were talking about... whatever college boys talk about during parties.

"Hey guys!" (Y/N) shouted out at the duo, and they both turned their attention to them. "Oh, hey (Y/N), Gyutaro." Hakuji said as he hugged her, and then gave Gyutaro a fist bump. "How you two doin'? I honestly thought you two were gonna stay on campus. Well, Gyutaro, was gonna stay on campus."

"Yeah, but luckily I dragged him to be here so he can be more social." She said with a smile on my face that reads, I'm proud that I did this. "Oh, well, in that case, welcome to the party," Hakuji stated as he patted (Y/N)'s, and Gyutaro's shoulders. "I take it you both met Kyojuro? He's the second in command of the Hashira club at the university."

The fiery-haired man had a bright smile on his face as he reached his hand out to both of them as he introduced himself, "Hi, name's Kyojuro Rengoku." (Y/N) immediately felt warm to his presence, something about his aura just made her feel like they've known each other since they were kids, while Gyutaro was deadpanned from all this, he just wanted his phone back, not to talk to these people.

(Y/N) shook his hand as he carried on the conversation, "So, I heard you're name is (Y/N), right? Nice name." (Y/N) chuckles as she responds, "Thank you." His attention changed from her, to Gyutaro, and so he extended his hand toward him, and he just looked at it. "C'mon Gyutaro, don't leave him hanging." (Y/N) commanded him as he sighed through his nose, and shook his hand. "Hey."

"Hey, nice to meet you. You two enjoying the party?" He questioned both of them, seeing that they came to him, and Hakuji trying to start a conversation. "Oh, we just got here. Gyutaro wanted to sit down and be on his phone, so I'm confiscating it until he's socialized with enough people."

Kyojuro hums as he acknowledges (Y/N)'s response, and says, "Well, that's an interesting way to make your friend sociable. But, if it works, it works. You two want a drink while we're at this? I don't mind getting them for you." He said, pointing his index finger at both of them while holding his cup.

(Y/N) made a brief inhale, but didn't get the chance to speak as speak as Kyojuro overlapped her and said, "Y'know what, you don't have to say anything, I'll go get y'all a drink!" And he trotted away. Hakuji elicts a nose laugh as he then looked at both of them and clears his throat and says, "So... How are you two doin'?"

"We're doing good, thank you for asking." (Y/N) stated as she was tapping her shoes on the floor, hearing the overlapping conversations around them. "That's good to hear. But, can you almost believe that this is our final year? Just goes to show how much time has passed by so fast." He said as he took a swig of his cup.

The thought didn't process in her mind, but when it did, her eyes were extremely widened as she stammered, "Holy shit, you're right. How long has it been since we applied to this place?"

"If I remember correctly, about three years."

Thankfully, (Y/N) didn't have a drink in her hand, 'cause she would've dropped it after realizing she's been in this university for this long. "That's... Man." (Y/N) felt like she just had an entire revelation at the fact, and Hakuji softly patted her back as he consoled her, "I know. But, it's our last year. Make some memories while you still have the time."

"I guess so..." (Y/N) mutters out as shortly after their conversation, Kyojuro walks up behind them as he is holding two red cups. "Here ya go!" Gyutaro and (Y/N) grabbed the cups and Gyutaro immediately took a sip of it while (Y/N) looked in the cup to see a goldish-yellow liquid inside. "O-Oh... Is this beer?" (Y/N) asked Kyojuro as she was watching it slowly slosh around.

"Of course! We're at a party, it's expected to have a strong beverage at the party. Unless you want me to go get you a soft drink, which I can do." He said as he extended his hand out as if he were requesting her to give him the cup. "Oh, no no no no, I can drink it. It's just that I've never had a drink before."

All three of them looked at you with surprise. Hakuji softly laughs as he exclaimed, "Well shit. Well, here's to your first drink at a university party. And here I thought, that you drunk at the past parties we were in."

"Just because I have a red cup in my hand, doesn't mean I'm drinking." (Y/N)'s eyes trail down to the cup and she brings it up to her nose as she softly sniffs it as she softly recoils back from the smell. It had a malty smell to it, which felt alien to her.  She glanced up at Kyojuro as she asked him, "You didn't lace anything in this, did you?"

Kyojuro elicits a dramatic gasp as Hakuji almost choked on his own drink and Gyutaro continued to drink. "Now I would never roofie a vulnerable woman at a party! That would tarnish my reputation! I promise, it's just beer, nothing else." Kyojuro reassured her as she puckered her lips, and took a small sip.

Her face immediately cringed at the taste, it was bitter, and had a tangy taste to it. But she didn't want to be embarrassed in front of everybody spitting it out, so she mustered up the courage, and swallowed the booze that was in her mouth, making her physically and verbally shiver when she did.

"Ugh..." Her eyes scowled and her bottom lip was puckered as she looked at Kyojuro, and formed a weird smile as she raised the cup up. Kyojuro smiled as he bumped his cup into hers and took a sip of his drink.

(Y/N) took one last sip of her cup, and placed it on the counter as she shivered and vigorously shook her head. Hakuji cheered for her as he patted her back and said, "Not bad finishing your first drink. Honestly, I thought you would stop after the third or fourth sip."

"I considered it. But, I'm not a coward." (Y/N) uttered out before she softly burped and groaned. "But, what should we do now?" Hakuji was about to talk, but flinched when he heard the sound of someone talking behind him, "Hakuji-dono! I want to talk to your friends!~"

Oh shit. They all thought. Hakuji felt someone's hand rest on his shoulder and turned around to see Douma towering above him. "Hey.~" All three of them can speak for each other and say they hate— no, not hate, despised Douma as a whole. His narcissistic personality, having little regard for people and how they feel, and his shit-eating smile that was latched onto his face made him the most disliked student of the whole university, and a well-deserved reason for that matter.

"Douma." Hakuji uttered. Douma scruffs his hair up, which made Hakuji pop a vein on his forehead, his fist balled up as if he was about to sock him in his jaw, but he had to refrain from making a scene as someone would record this, post it online, and he would get in trouble.

"Why so hostile? We're at a party, we're supposed to have fun, right? Gyutaro, (Y/N), Fireboy, isn't that what parties are supposed to be?" Gyutaro, Kyojuro and (Y/N) all looked at each other and (Y/N) decided to take the initiative to speak as acknowledged, "Y-Yeah, essentially."

Douma does an annoying chuckle as he responds, "See? Even they get it. So, why can't you?" Hakuji inhales through his nose, and lets out a shaky exhale as he was trying his hardest not to punch him in the jaw. "As a matter of fact, you two, follow me. We're gonna have fun with the brothers. At least they know what to do at a party." And started to walk the other direction.

Gyutaro followed him, and before (Y/N) followed suit, she patted his shoulder, and said to him, "Just one more year, and you don't have to see him again." Hakuji scoffs as he says, "Yeah, hopefully not." And he touches her hand.

(Y/N) felt Kyojuro touch her shoulder and he said, "Don't let him take advantage of you, alright?" "Agreed." Hakuji said. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna give him the chance." She smirks as she says, "Don't worry. I won't let him." She slid her hand off his shoulder as she started to follow Douma and Gyutaro.

She walks by a few people she knew, along said hi to the people who were in the Hashira club, until she got to Douma, Gyutaro and the Hantengu brothers. Out of the four, Urogi was the first to come up to her and hug her as he said, "(N/N)! How you doin'? You enjoyin' the party so far?" He said in a childish tone.

"It's... Eh. It's okay, I guess. Not much to go around though." (Y/N) responded to him as she Urogi chuckled and said, "Well, we can fix that for you. We're about to play a game soon so, it's good timing that you came along." He said, playfully punching her arm.

(Y/N) rubs her bicep before following Urogi to see what the others are doing. Aizetsu was just sitting on the couch as he was watching Sekido and Karaku playing Mortal Kombat. They were playing as Ethernal Mileena and Hellfire Scorpion. It was the last round, so any one of them could win. She leaned down on the couch as she watched the fight unravel. It was mostly blocking and jumping, mixed in with a few anti-air uppercuts and a few combos here and there.

Both of the character's health were very low, and all it took was one immaculate combo for the other character to fall. Mileena tried to do a ball roll, but Scorpion blocked it as he does an overhead flame heel, and engulfs himself in flames using Flame Aura.

Him doing Flame Aura stunned her long enough for him to do a three hit combo, teleports behind her, hits her two more times before throwing his spear and shouting, "COME HERE!!!" He jumps over her, does a jump front punch, hits her with an Eternal Vengeance combo, does a Flameport, grabs her while she's falling, and the camera does a brief slow down as they show Scorpion slash Mileena's neck open, slashes her stomach, and uppercut her head, practically exploding, thus ending this Kombat off with a Brutality.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened from the sudden gore as Sekido quickly stood up and boasted against his brother sitting down. "Get shit on, you bitch! Sorry ass Mileena user!" He said, getting into his personal space. "This coming from the guy who uses Scorpion, and Flame Fist Liu Kang."

Sekido's eyebrows frowned down as he had his fist above and behind his head as Karaku quickly retracted his statement and said, "But, you won, so gg." Sekido's face softened, but not a lot for his angered expression was still plastered on his face, but he backed away for Karaku so he could sit back up properly. "Now that that's well and done, hey (Y/N), how you doin'?"

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders as she uttered, "Living. Not complaining though." She said as she did a soft sniff shortly after. "Ain't nothin' wrong with living, I'll tell you that much. But you know what's better than living?" He grabs something out of his pocket, and reveals it to be a box of chocolates that had the cover Tabs on it. "Living like there's no tomorrow."

(Y/N) cringed at the banal sentence, as Karaku vaulted over the couch, he pointed to her, and Gyutaro. "You two are gonna play a little game, where it involves eating this delicacy that's in my hand. Now, before I give you two these, did you two eat?"

(Y/N) and Gyutaro both looked at each other before they shook their heads and said, "No." "That my friend," he snaps his finger, "is what we need to do first. Aizetsu," Aizetsu's head perked up as he looked up at his older brother, "Fetch these two some grub before I give them a good night."

"Do they have to? I mean, are they even on that level of relations? I know they're dormmates, but—" Aizetsu's yammering was interrupted when he felt Sekido twist his ear and he quickly said, "Okay! Okay! I'll give them some food!" Sekido lets go of his ear, and he chuckles as he looks at Urogi and say, "You, me, MKX, now."

"I'm down." Urogi said as he grabbed the other controller and sat down on the floor as he picks his character. "C'mon you guys, I'll get you some food." Aizetsu said in a melancholic tone as he stood up off the couch and walked to the kitchen. (Y/N)'s eyes slightly widened at the variety of foods that was on the table and counters. Ranging from vegan, vegetarian, plants, meat, dessert, the whole shebang.

"Grab a plate and enjoy yourselves for the time you have left. Whatever happens for these next couple of minutes will be, you're going to need it." And walks away. They both grabbed a plate and both of them grabbed their own assortment of foods. Due to Gyutaro having a high metabolism, he has a lot of food on his plate, and (Y/N) had some food, along with sweets on hers.

They both go back to watch the brothers play games as they sat down on the floor and began to eat. As they were eating, (Y/N) takes Gyutaro's phone out of her back left cheek pocket, and tapped his shoulder with it. He takes it and continues to eat as she says, with her mouth full, "Yow wekom." And he scoffs, but has a soft smirk on his face.

(Y/N) elicited a sigh of satisfaction as she put her hand on her stomach and patted it. "I'm stuffed." She covers her mouth as she softly burps and groans. Gyutaro softly coughs as he is on his phone. "Well, now that y'all are satisfied, it's about time that we make this more, interesting so to speak."

Karaku takes the box of chocolate out of his pocket as he opens it to reveal three small golden wrappers. "Wow, fancy. Although, not worth 4,639.67¥." He takes one of the wrappers out and each gave it to (Y/N). The wrapper that had the sweat droplets emoji on it. (Y/N) puckers her lips as she softly blushes from the implication of what the emoji meant.

"Not a subtle presentation." Gyutaro deadpanned, leaning against (Y/N)'s shoulder peeking at the wrapper. He sighs as he says, "That's just get this over with, it's not like it isn't gonna do much anyway." (Y/N) unwraps the small chocolate to reveal its look, as there was a corner vertical line that could be broken apart. (Y/N) breaks it apart to where it was two triangles, (Y/N) gave Gyutaro the other half and they both started to chew.

The taste of it was surprisingly good. The texture of it felt smooth, and velvety, as if it was melting in their mouths as they chewed the chocolate. They both swallowed the chocolate, and (Y/N) makes a hum of satisfaction while Gyutaro asks, "So, how long does it take for it to kick in? 15, 20 minutes?"

"Actually, 30. It might take some time for the effects to kick in, so best to get comfortable." Karaku said as he stood up and cracked his back as telling the duo to follow him. They do so, where the more they walked, the more quieter it became. Karaku opens the door which leads to some sort of big closet, which is a little concerning to both of them.

"This where y'all will do your business once the effects start to kick in. Once they do, you both will have seven minutes to do what you want with each other. Simple enough?" They both went inside the closet as he rambled on, "I'll put a timer on my phone just in case you guys forgot about this game. Other than that, have fun." And walks away.

Both of them were sitting right beside each other as (Y/N) was looking around the closet. "Man, this closet is big. Is this even a closet?" (Y/N) questioned like a curious child discovering a new everyday item for the first time. "This is Michikatsu's place, he's a rich bastard so it probably is." And (Y/N) hums.

"Do you wanna watch something, while we wait for this shit to take over?" He said, holding his phone. (Y/N) scooted closer to him, and rested her head on her shoulder, which confused him as he asked, "Why are you so close?" A faint blush formed on both of their faces as she responded, "Just... trying to fit the mood. Seeing that we both ate chocolate and waiting for the effects, might as well make it feel more intimate, y'know?"

Gyutaro groaned at the thought, but sighed as he wrapped his arm around her and asked, "What do want to watch?" (Y/N) 's mouth was gapped open, but closed as she smirked and giggled a little, making Gyutaro's pale face turn into a red complexion. "Shut up..."

A couple minutes passed as they were watching a video, when suddenly, Gyutaro stopped the video and asked her, "Do you feel tense, or hot anywhere?" She looked up at him to see that the blush on his face reappeared, but at the same time, his eyes were half-lidded, and from his perspective, the deafening sound of his heart was beating in his ears.

He started to take his hoodie off, which reveals his black plain tee, and his scrawny, yet tone arms. "You okay, Gyutaro? You look really hot..." (Y/N) said, concerned at his behavior. Gyutaro looks down at her as he says something that gives her the clarification that he didn't hear her correctly. "And so do you..."

"U-Uh... Gyutaro...?" (Y/N) said. Gyutaro dropped his phone on the floor as he the towers over her, making her fall on her back, which results in her being pinned on the ground, with his arms being beside both sides of her head. "You're so hot..." he caresses her cheek with his thumb as he starts to lower his head down and closes his eyes.

For a second, (Y/N) was scared, scared that despite being in her 20s, her first kiss was about to be with her dormmate that she'd been with throughout the last four years.

Just for a second, though.

For another second that sense of fear, turned into a sense of euphoria as she closed her eyes and let the moment happen as she felt his chapped lips touching hers. Both of them were inexperienced at this, their teeth scraping against each other as they moaned with every disconnect.

Gyutaro stops as he looks down at her. Her face, was red. Her eyes, half-lidded, nearly closed. Breath, visible. Gyutaro swallowed his saliva as his lips were quivering as he asked her, "Was... that alright?" and she nodded. She then wraps her arms around him as she pulls him back down and utters, "More." And kisses him again.

Gyutaro graons as he wrapped his arms around his arms around her body, and laid down on their sides as they were getting more into it with the kissing. They hesitantly stuck their tongues into each other's mouths, and slowly started to twirl with one another. It felt so weird to both of them, but them being laced with aphrodisiacs, it felt like they could do anything without any trouble.

They briefly stopped as Gyutaro grabbed the zipper of (Y/N)'s jacket, and zipped it down to reveal her white shirt. He grabbed the bottom, and was about to pull them up, but he refrained himself as he exclaimed, "F-Fuck... I don't care what I say at this point, but can I see your tits? My mind is just aching to see what they look like and I can't seem to control myself..."

Sure, Gyutaro has taken drugs during his years in university, but not the type that would make him really horny, so this was like a new thing to him. (Y/N) nods as she softly spoke, "I-Its... okay. I'm excited about this too... so don't stop." He chuckles a little as he pulls he pulls her shirt up to reveal her solid black sports bra which had her erect nipples poking out of them.

"You freaky bitch..." Gyutaro uttered out. Something inside (Y/N)'s mind clicked. Him calling her a bitch felt degrading, but at the same time, it made her mind a little fuzzy. There wasn't enough time to ponder about it as Gyutaro pulled her sports bra up to reveal her breasts to her. "Fuck..." He elicited as he roughly groped them, making (Y/N) softly moan.

His hands were so rough against her, as he was squeezing them and was surprised at how soft they were in his hands. It felt like marshmallows to him, which was an amazing feeling to him. He licks his lips as he stopped fondling with one of them, and started to lick her nipple. (Y/N) moans at the tingling sensation of his tongue licking her, snd fondling her at the same time.

"G-Gyutaro..." She whined out his name, as he was licking her sensitive teat. (Y/N) made a loud gasp as she felt him gnawing his teeth on her, which made her whimper, and her leg tremble a little. He stopped as he cups the breasts in his hand, and started to suck on it, which made (Y/N) wrap her arms around his head.

Gyutaro groans as he wraps his arms around her waist and places her on his pelvis where she felt something poking her inner thigh, but she was distracted at the fact that Gyutaro was sucking her breast. She lays her head down on his head as she lets out a few whimpers here and there. The aphrodisiacs that were flowing through her made her feel so much more sensitive as not only him sucking her teat made her feel good, but the lips between her hips were slowly soaking her panties.

He stops as he exclaims, "Fuck... Why does this feel so good...? I want more... I need more..." He then pinned her down to the floor as he mounted on top of her, and started to grind on her. Both of their covered genitalia were touching each other, which made them both moan with each grind that he did.

The friction of their parts touching together with their clothes on, made them feel something that they couldn't describe. "G-Gyutaro... Y-Your—" he interrupted her as they both locked lips with each other. They both moaned into each other's mouths as he started to softly thrust his hips.

His shaft was twitching inside his pants, almost as if he was about to finish right then and there, but he had to control himself. If he came right here, he would feel like the biggest loser on the planet, knowing that he ejaculated in his pants all because of a few pumps. But at the same time, his doing this had no business for him feeling this good.

"I can feel it..." (Y/N) whimpered out. Her body felt so light, it was as if she was a feather flowing through the wind as Gyutaro continued to thrust his hips. "I wanna fuck you so badly... your body is so soft and slender, that I can't hold myself back anymore. Will you... let me give you the pleasure I want?"

Him speaking to her that way in such a demanding, but begging tone made her throb down there. Her entire body shivered from that speech he did, and she almost choked on her spit as she said, "Yes... Please, fuck me, Gyutaro." A smile crept up to his face she watched him sit up and watched him grip the rim of his sweatpants.

He was about to pull them down, but turned around to see Karaku open the door behind them. "Whoa, you two got busy. Had I forgotten about the timer, you two would've done it. C'mon, get up and get out of the closet." Gyutaro scooted back away from her as she sat up and rolled her sports bra and shirt back down. Their faces were so red from this moment, it didn't even feel like 7 minutes went by.

Gyutaro picked up his hoodie as he then grabbed (Y/N)'s wrist and started to speed walk. "Gyutaro, w-what are you—" "We're going back to my dorm. This chocolate is making me feel something I've never felt before, and I refused to get blue-balled because of it." He said as he looked down at his stiff erection bulging out. Thankfully, he was wearing sweatpants, thus making it less visible. Fuck... and this is just gonna get in the way if I don't do something about it.

There were people having turns playing Mortal Kombat, this time it was a white haired tall man up against Kyojuro as they were playing Shirai Ryu Takeda, and Outlaw Erron Black. Urogi noticed that Gyutaro and (Y/N) were in a hurry, so he asked them, "Hey, did you two have fun?"

They both nodded as (Y/N) stammered, "I-It was a good party, but we gotta go back to our dorm." Urogi tilted his head like a curious dog as he responded, "But you two just got here. At least play a few games before you guys just leave us."

"You s-see, we wish we could, but our stomachs don't feel right and it would suck if we threw up while we were having fun." (Y/N) said as Gyutaro continued, "Yeah, so bye. Thank you for the fun time you gave us." And continued to speedwalk. "But the bathroom is... right there. Oh well, their loss. We're starting to bet money on this game now." He said as he was counting the amount of yen in his hands.

(Y/N) and Gyutaro both entered the car and we're fumbling to put their seatbelt on, once they did, Gyutaro put the keys in the ignition and twisted it as he put the car into reverse, backed away from one of the cars in front of them, and does a u-turn as he drives the street of the cul-de-sac.

Both of their breaths were trembling as (Y/N) was constantly rubbing her thighs together, and Gyutaro had a firm grip on the steering wheel. Both of them didn't say anything as they tried to maintain their composure so they didn't get into an accident.

My body feels like it's on fire... how can a piece of chocolate that small, affect us like this...? (Y/N) thought as she laid her head down on the dash and her leg was bouncing. Gyutaro on the other hand, was heavily striving. His hands were so firmly gripped on the wheel, that his veins started to pop out on his hands, and forearms.

Not only that, but he was so stiff down there. Stiff, and hard as a 2x4. He wanted to rip his own clothes off so he could feel cool and relieve himself. But, he only lived three minutes away from his dorm, he could get through this painful erection that he had, hopefully.

(Y/N) however, could not. She's never felt this level of lust of her life. It was almost scary to her from how needy she was to have some sort of stimulation, both to the brain, and her body. She sat back up and glanced at Gyutaro to see that he was still looking at the street he was driving in, and she took the opportunity to take her hand under her pants, and move her fingers up and down.

She puts her head on the dash, and her breath was trembling, as she felt the soaking sensation of her panties being drenched from her discharge. She mewled as her eyes were clenched closed as her fingers were moving on their own down there. This feels... so good... She balls her first that was above her head as she was moving her fingers up and down."I know, but just wait a few more seconds, alright? Once we make it to my dorm, I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you." He said, as he grabbed and squeezed her breast.

She bit her lip to refrain a moan to come out of her mouth when he touched her, its almost a surprise when he didn't bother to look what she was doing when he said that to her. It was like he tried to make her more horny than before, in which he did, but not on purpose. "O-Okay, Gyutaro..." she uttered out while in the process of touching herself.

They both arrived on the residental hall, and Gyutaro hastily unbuckled his seatbelt and turned the car off as he opens the car door. "Get out of the car. I'm gonna make sure you—" he looks to his left to see that (Y/N)'s head was arched back from the seat as as her legs were spread open while she was touching her wet and creamy slit down there.

His eyes were bulging out of his skull as he closed the door, trotted to the other side, opened it, unbuckled her seatbelt, and picked her up with no effort. Despite having a scrawny build, he was strong enough to pick her up with ease. They both kissed as Gyutaro was walking up the small concrete stairs to the main entrance of the door.

"I'm gonna fucking ruin you." He snarled, which made her shiver a little. He puts her down, but she grabs his hand, and makes him fondle her. "Are you trying to make me more horny than I already am? I'm fucking stiff as a rock and yet you're making me touch you."

"Is it working?"

He unlocks the door, pulls her into the room, pushes her into his bed, and mounts on top of her. They looked into each other's eyes, both of their faces had a blood-red color on their top half, and their ears as they were both slightly sweaty. "Show me your fingers. The ones where you were touching yourself when I was driving." He demanded her as she pulled her hand out of her pants as she revealed her wet, creamed covered fingers.

"Disgusting... You're such a slut, you know that right?" He said, which made her feel a little flustered, but the good kind, of course. "N-No, I'm not... it's the c-chocolate..." she said, avoiding eye contact with him. He chuckled as he wrapped his hand around her waist, opened his mouth, and licked her fingers that were covered in her discharge.

He closed his eyes as he was licking them, some of it even got down to the webbing, and he licked there as well. (Y/N)'s face turned red as a tomato as she watched him lick her fingers so sensually. She didn't think he would be capable of doing something so erotic like this.

Once he finished, he sat up, and scooted back as she started to untie her shoes and dropped them on the floor. He grabbed the rim of her pants, and pulled them down to reveal her panties that were completely soaked. So much so, that it was transparent and he could see her slit, camel toe and and her erect clit. "Wow... You're so wet..." he started to rub his palm on it, which made her flinch a little. "And it's squishy too... did me grinding my dick on you excite you that much? Or did me groping you amplify that?" He croaked out, his voice sounding raspy, which made her body shiver yet again.

"I-I... Um... it was... both of them." She mutters out, which he didn't hear so he asks her, "What was that? I couldn't hear you. Try moaning it out for me." He moved his fingers up and down. She stifled a moan she blurted out, "Both. I-It was both." He smiles as he gets an answer from her, and he stops as he unties his shoes, takes them off, and takes off his sweatpants.

He took off (Y/N)'s pants, and threw them somewhere on the floor as he was now on his knees, and his boxers had a huge tent poking out. He wraps his arms around her legs, and started to grind his his hips up and down against her wet panties. They both started to moan due to the friction of their undergarments touching against each other, both of them extremely sensitive from the pleasure that was flowing throughout their bodies.

"So fucking good..." he uttered as he felt himself twitching. His boxers were slowly becoming drenched as not only that (Y/N)'s juices were dampening them, but so was his precum that was seeping through. It smelled so musky, but in the sense that made (Y/N) dizzy with lust. Her head felt fuzzy for a second as she said, "G-Gyutaro..."

He stops as he looks at her and says, "What? You wanna do it now? Not that I'm complaining." She softly shook her head as she said something that she would never say if she was sober. "No... I... wanna... I wanna suck your c-cock."

Her saying that activated something inside him, his shaft was frantically twitching as he didn't ask any more questions, and pulled them off. For a man who looked like he had little to no muscle mass, he was packing quite the package down there.

Although there was a bit of messy hair down there, but that didn't matter to (Y/N). He then sat down and said, "Come here." Which she complied as she was slowly crawling up to her. She wrapped her hand around it, and it felt so hot. It was like her hand was melting due to how warm it felt in her hand. She then lowered her head down as she caught a whiff of its arousing musk surrounding it, making her head go blank for a quick second before she snapped back to reality.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" He questioned. (Y/N) swallowed the spit that was in her mouth as she started to give kitty licks on the tip of it. It tasted a little salty, but it didn't bother her in the slightest. Gyutaro softly grunted as she watched her do this, and so he stroked her hair as he gave her a little praise, "There you go, that's a good girl." And softly slaps her.

She moaned from the slap, which is something she never thought she would be into, but she was becoming corrupted by the drug in her body, so her principles were being bent as time went on. She started to kiss the tip, and soon, started to twirl her tongue around it. His breath hitched and he elicited a moan as he closed his eyes and uttered, "F-Fuck..."

His hips then coiled as he felt her warm lips wrap around him, and she started bobbing her head up and down. His neck arched back as he lets out a shaky exhale as he gripped his bed sheets as she was only sucking the tip, but it felt like he was gonna finish at any moment.

He tastes so good... my mind is just going black just from sucking him off. I feel like such a whore doing this, I've never done this before, and yet I want more from him... she thought as she closed her eyes and put her hands on his inner thighs as she was pleasing him.

He was about to grab his phone and record this, but then he remembered that he put his phone in one of his pockets in his pants, so all he could do was just watch her as she swallowed his length. Give or take, she was heavily inexperienced at this, but that didn't mean she was doing a good job of making him feel good. A pleasurable blowjob is enough to negate all the negatives of oral pleasure.

Gyutaro's face started to look drunk-like. One of his eyes was closed while the other was struggling to stay open. His face looked a bit sweaty as he was covering the bottom half of his face with his fist. (Y/N) started to become sloppy as her saliva started to run down his shaft, and her head started to bob faster. Some of her spit was going down her chin due to how much effort she was putting into pleasing him.

She would slurp the saliva she had produced as he started to deepthroat him. His warm, thick length filled her mouth, making her jaw hurt as she was making him feel good. "Dosh it phel gud, Yutaro?" She said, with her mouth full. "Y-Yeah... It feels really good... Too good..." he then grips her head and starts to thrust his hips into her mouth. (Y/N) slightly whimpered as it felt like his tip was hitting the back of her throat.

There is a plus in this situation however, she didn't have a gag reflex. Meaning that he could be aggressive with her and not worry about her throwing up. Her throat might take some time to heal though, but a minor drawback at the end of the day. Or in this term, night.

Her hands slid off his thighs as she felt her body go limp, her mind slowly going blank as he was skullfucking her. His hair down there was being moisturized from the spit that was leaking down his shaft, and the sound of her slurping on him was like white noise to his ears.

His breath starts to get heavy as he huskily utters out, "Fuck, I-I... ngh..." (Y/N) felt his shaft twitching inside her mouth, nearing his arrival. He arched his head back as his breath was trembling he scrunched his eyes closed, and clenched his teeth as his moans were audible enough for (Y/N) to hear them.

"F-Fucking... gonna..." his thrusts were faster as his shaft started to twitch more and more. He then moved his hips back, and left her mouth with a faint pop elicited from her lips as he wrapped his hand around him as he frantically stroked it. He grips her hair as he commands her to, "Open your mouth."

She opens her mouth, and stuck her tongue out as he breathlessly vociferated, "Just like that. Just... like..." he couldn't finish his sentence as he curled his toes as he was getting closer and closer. (Y/N) closed her eyes as she waited for him to release his spunk onto her face. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, O-OH... f-fuck..." he huskily exclaimed as his muscles constricted and shot out his white, sticky ropes all over her face.

(Y/N) flinched as she felt his warm load sticking to her face, each one feeling thicker than the last. It got everywhere on her, from her chin, her cheeks, her forehead, the bridge of her nose, essentially her entire face. Luckily it didn't get in her hair or eyes, otherwise, there would be problems between them. But some of it did get into her mouth, the slimy, sticky texture of it felt so weird in her mouth, but she had no choice but to swallow it, feeling his seed going down her throat.

It's so... salty... and bitter... she thought as she shivered a little from the taste. "F-Fuck..." Gyutaro wheezed out as he bent his head back and looked at the ceiling. He laughed as he said, "You... Are one freaky ass girl, y'know that?" His breathing was calming down as his heart was slowing down. Despite all that, he was still erect and it was aching for more.

(Y/N) didn't say anything, but had a blush on her face as she got out of his bed and walked to the bathroom to clean her face. His cum dripped down on her hand as she grabbed a roll of toilet paper, and cleaned herself off. As she was doing this, she felt his arms wrap around her waist, and hotdogged his shaft in between her cheeks.

He kissed the back of his neck as he softly croaked, "How did my cum taste? Was it salty to you? I saw the way you swallowed it without any hesitation." The blush on her face started to get redder as he started to grind his shaft on her making her whimper a little. "C'mon, admit that you liked it. There's no point in denying it." His humping started to get more aggressive, enough to make (Y/N) budge with every thrust.

"It... did taste salty, and bitter. But, I couldn't help but swallow it..." she admitted with a hint of shame in her voice as she wiped her chin that was covered in his cum and her spit. She threw the pieces of toilet paper in the small trash can as she felt him pull her panties down, and started to slide his rod on her lips.

Her arms started to tremble as she bent down on the sink as she started to feel weak from him rubbing his shaft against her. "You're so wet down there, even after you sucked me off. Guess I should repay the favor, huh?" He then picked her up, and walked back to his bed as he dropped her face first into the comforter, and pulled her back so she was standing.

He puts his fingers down there, making (Y/N) mewl as her legs begin to shake while she is on her toes. "But, before I do, I want to hear you say it. Say you want me to fuck you, and I'll give it to you." He said that with a wanton smile on his face. He was teasing her as he was moving his fingers around her lips. Her mouth trembled as she elicited a quivering exhale as she whined out, "P-Please... F-Fuck me..."

The smile on his face got a little bigger as he grabbed his rod, and started to move it on her sensitive cunt. "What was that? I couldn't hear you loud enough." He bit the tip of her ear as she said it a little more clearly for him to hear as she iterated, "Please, fuck me, Gyutaro."

A moan escaped her lips as she felt his tip going slowly inside her, and was slowly moving in and out of her. "Repeat that one more time for me." He said as he wrapped his hand around her neck, and tightly gripped it.

Tears of depravity rolled out of her eyes as she vo​cif​er​at​ed, "P-Please fuck me, Gyutaro! S-Stick fat cock inside me as you rail me, and make me drunk for you! I want to—" Gyutaro kissed her lips as he wasted no time, and propelled his hips into her.

Her eyes closed as she felt her body become limp as Gyutaro let go of her neck, and she plopped face-first into the comforter, slowly becoming a moaning mess. "Th-Thank you, Gyutaro... thank y-you..." she reverberated with each thrust that was making her voice sound bouncy. "Anything for a slut like you." And he smacks her ass.

She educed a yelp from her lips as she groaned from the small stinging sensation of his print on her left cheek as he was fucking her with his long, thick, meaty cock. Sweat began to develop on his forehead, as wiped the sweat off of his head, while having strands of hair stuck to his forehead as he started to take his shirt off, he threw the shirt on the floor as he was fully naked, and was going all out.

How is she so wet, and yet so tight? It's like she wants me to cum as fast as possible from this combo. But that ain't gonna happen, not until I feel satisfied with her. He reckoned as his hips were moving like a piston, having a firm grip on both sides of her waist. (Y/N) was moaning and groaning from every thrust that she received as her wet, creamy, sticky cunt was being pounded by him.

"G-Gyutaro...~" she mewled out his name as her legs began to shake. He was gripping his bedsheets as all she could do at the moment was take him. The sound that her slit was making was do lewd, someone might've thought that they were making pasta. She yelped as she felt him smack her ass yet again. "You like that, huh? You like when I smack your fat ass and watch it make waves when my hips hit yours?" And he smacks it a third time.

She slowly nods at him as she stutters out, "Y-Yes... My body feels so hot that it feels like I-I'm melting... snd your cock is the only thing I can feel right now. And you smacking my ass, it feels like a shock flowed through me, i-it stings, but it feels so good...~" she plopped her face into the comforter as her moans were muffled, but still audible.

"You're such a fucking whore. And I love it." He then slides out, making (Y/N) almost collapse on her feet when he turns her body around, and picked her feet up so she could be laying down on the bed. He mounted on top of her as he grabbed her shirt and pulled it up for her to take off.

He threw the shirt, and pointed at her sports bra and commanded her, "Take them off." (Y/N) sits up, but straight enough to make a 90° angle, but enough for her to grab the rim of her sports bra. She slowly pulled them up as her breasts were getting caught in her bra, until Gyutaro witnessed them drop and softly bounce once she took it off.

She dropped her bra, and she was fully naked. both of them, their hearts beating out of their chests, their body temperature going through the roof, the lack of air in their lungs as they were making eye contact with each other. (Y/N) laid back down, and spread her legs open as she extended her arms to him, and said, in a rather hush, venereal tone, "Please, fuck me, and make me scream, Gyutaro."

Something snapped inside of Gyutaro when she said that to him. It was like he lost all of his senses of control, as he wrapped his hand around her neck, and reentered inside her and moved his hips so fast and rough, that the bed was plangently creaking.

A crooked smile formed on his face as he stated, "You wanted this, didn't you? All those years of tension with us being together finally caught up to you. Who knew, that all it t-took, ngh... was an edible for you to let it out..."

She hated it admit it if she was sober, but he was right. It took one edible for her to realize her true intentions to him. She just didn't expect how much has been holding back throughout these semesters. A single tear formed in her eyes as she made eye contact with his eyes and said, with her voice sounding raspy, "I-I... Love you."

Love you...? Gyutaro repeated in his mind. She, loved him? Despite him giving no time to breathe to please himself after all the bullshit he had to withstand with her? She was either too cock-drunk, or this were her true feeling towards him, despite her still being on the effects of the aphrodisiacs.

He wasn't sure how to respond, as he slapped her again, albeit with a sense of weakness behind it, and wrapped both of his hands on her neck. Her eyes closed as she makes smile, and wrapped both of her hands on his wrists. "M-Make me cum... p-please..."

Gyutaro felt conflicted choking her now, now that she said that she loved him, so to distracted himself from it, he lowers his head, and kissed her. Gyutaro groans while (Y/N) puled as both of their tongues were dancing with each other. Their saliva going down their chin as their heads were tilted to make the kiss deeper. The way his tongue was dominating hers, it was like he was showing her who was in charge here.

But, she wasn't complaining.

They both stopped kissing, their saliva stretching between each other as (Y/N) slowly opened her eyes and repeated the words, "I l-love you..." Gyutaro's face turned burgundy when she said that to her the second time, and yet it felt more sentimental than the first one. Maybe it was because they both kissed? Maybe it was because she was letting him choke her? So many questions, for so little time.

Gyutaro let's go of (Y/N)'s neck, showing a faint imprint, and depressed himself to (Y/N)'s breasts, and started to suck on them. He wrapped his arms around (Y/N)'s body, his hands felt so bony against her skin, but it felt in some way reassuring to her. "I-I... Wuv phyu tu..."

(Y/N) smiles as she wrapped her arms and legs around him as she says, "T-Thank you..." tears streaking down on her face. The continuous sound of the bed creaking, and their cream-covered genitalia stroking each other filled the dorm, as (Y/N)'s breath shuddered like she was on ecstasy, as her stomach started to form a knot as her body felt tingly.

"G-Gyutaro, I feel weird..." she said as her breathing started to become unstable, and she was struggling to stifle a few moans. "Gyutaro... Gyutaro..." she repeated his name in a high pitch tone as she curled her toes and felt the knot snap inside her stomach as she squirted her cunt-juice all over his pelvis and cock, all while he was continuously thrusting his hips, making her feel maximum stimulation.

She dug her nails into his back and scratched him, making his back draw blood as her hands started to go down. He bit her nipple, which caused her to arch her back and neck while eliciting a soundless scream and her brain became static.

He stops as he rose back up and says, "You're so... fucking... sexy." He lays his head on her shoulder, and he lets out a few moans in her ear. (Y/N) moans as she felt his teeth scrape her neck, and he started to lick it. Her entire body felt numb at this point, it was like she was paralyzed and all she could feel was his rod rearranging her insides.

His breathing began to sound heavy as he felt himself constantly twitching. His body felt tingly as he bit his lip and lets out a stifled groan as he started to move faster and faster. "Do it... do it..." she begged. Gyutaro clenched his eyes closed as he bit her neck, making her elicit a shaky groan as he made a few final thrusts, before he slipped out and his spunk spewed out. He moans as he felt his shaft throbbing and shooting out his seed onto (Y/N)'s skin, each throb being a little bit more painful than the last.

Once he finished, his entire body was shaking, and his arms were striving to help him hover above (Y/N). They both looked down to see the mess they both made from their fluids. "Fuck..." They both looked back at each other and stared for a few seconds before Gyutaro cupped her cheek, narrowed the distance between each other, and kissed. (Y/N) whimpered, while Gyutaro lets out a shaky groan as they pecked each other's lips and twirled their tongues together.

They stopped, and Gyutaro crawled out of bed as he walked to the bathroom. (Y/N) couldn't do anything but look up at the ceiling as she was so exhausted from getting fucked. But, she loved it. She has never felt anything like what just happened before. If anything, if she was sober, she might've equally as enjoyed it if she wasn't drugged. He came back with a roll of toilet paper and started to tear it up to clean her stomach and her part off.

It didn't feel much when he cleaned her stomach, but she felt a sharp pain when she felt the piece of paper rub her abused slit. She jolted and groaned as Gyutaro says, "S-Sorry. I'll try to be less rough." And he started to clean her more gently.

Her legs flinched with every stroke of the toilet paper, but it wasn't so painful as his intital swipes. She softly groaned with every swipe, her breath trembling as she let him clean her. Once he finished, he grabs the bundle of used toilet paper, and threw him in the trash can.

Walks back to his bed, grabbed the comforter, and lays down next her. Gyutaro wraps his arms around her, as he kissed her forehead, and said, "I love you..." before succumbing to his tiredness and went to sleep.

(Y/N) smiles as she kissed his lips and says, "I love you, too..." and laid her head on his chest.

...

Dawn was arriving, as Gyutaro was the first to wake up, and was met with an aching headache. He was about to sit up, but something was weighing him down. He looks under the cover to see a sleeping, naked (Y/N) laying on his chest, and he softly pulled the covers back down as he looks at the ceiling and thought, Holy shit... so what happened last night wasn't a drug trip... I really fucked her...

He looks to his right to see some sort of sticky note on his phone on the nightstand. He removes the sticky note and read in his head,

Make sure you don't leave your stuff in a random strangers closet.

- U.

And at the bottom left shows a small doodle of Urogi with his tongue sticking out and and x across his face. Gyutaro clickd his tongue as he placed the sticky note back on the nightstand as he gets on his phone. He then heard the sound of (Y/N) groaning awake as he lifted up the covers and see (Y/N) slowly opening her eyes.

She looks up and froze when they both made eye contact with each other. "G-Good morning." (Y/N) stammered. "M-Morning." They both continued to stare at each other for what felt like a prolonged time, until she sat up, with her breasts on full display, and he couldn't help but stare at them until (Y/N) spoke.

"Do you... recall about what we did last night?" Gyutaro ponders at that night and the first thing that popped up in his head was him skullfucking her, making his face more red. "Yes. Do you?" (Y/N) also pondered at that night as the first thing she recalled was him smacking her behind as he was thrusting her.

She blushed hard as well as she responded, "Yes... I do." She puts her hand together, avoiding eye contact with him. He sat up and pecked her forehead as he asked, "Did you enjoy it?"

She looked up at him to seeing his eyes looking genuine, like he wanted to know the definitive answer of whether she liked it or not. She pecked his lips as she responded with a, "Yes."

Gyutaro smirks as he wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a kiss, lasting for five seconds before they disconnected. "Your breath stinks." (Y/N) deadpanned as Gyutaro couldn't help but laugh at that comment. But, he clapped back as he responded, "And you smell."

(Y/N) pouted as she sat on the edge of the bed, and was about to stand up, but collasped as her legs felt so weak. Gyutaro laughs as she says, "It's not funny. Help me get to the shower."

Well, seeing that were both naked... why not? Gyutaro thought as he removed the covers off his bed, and got out as he crouched down and put her arm around his neck. They both started to walk to the shower, and Gyutaro, surpisingly being a gentleman, turns the shower on.

He went back to get their towels as (Y/N) was leaning back on the wall. Although it was nice of him to do this, her bottom half still hurted like hell. Specifically, her pussy. He was so rough with her, it's honestly a miracle that the bed didn't even break.

Luckily it didn't take long for him to recover the towels as he puts them on the sink. He sticks his hand out to see how warm or cold the water was, and came to find out that it was the perfect temperature. He opens the curtans and grabs (Y/N)'s wrist as he softly pulled her to the shower.

Once she got in first, he followed suit. The both stood together as they were being drenched in the warm water. Gyutaro lowered his head down and kissed her neck as he repeated, "I love you... I love you so much." (Y/N) giggled as she pets his hair and says, "I love you, too." And they both started to clean each other.

A couple minutes go by, and Gyutaro twists the handle down as the shower turns off. (Y/N) opens the curtains and grabbed both of their towels as they began to dry off. They both dried off their hair, which made (Y/N) vulnerable as she turned around while doing it in the process. He looks down to see her cake open to him, and he couldn't help but give it a hard slap, letting his intrusive thoughts win.

(Y/N) yelped as she looked back at him to see a smile on his face that read, "Yeah I smacked your ass, whatcha gonna do about it?" (Y/N) turned her whole body around as she looked at him and said, "Now you turn around." He chuckles as he obeys her, and looks back at her. She raised her hand up, and smacked it, making Gyutaro laugh as he says, "Didn't feel a thing."

She pouts as he turns back around and kisses her forehead. "But, if it makes you feel any better, I'll admit that it stung a little." And scruffed her hair. She smacked his ass again, and blurted, "Okay, that one didn't even hurt."

Once they finished drying themselves off and brushing their teeth, they both wore their undergarments as Gyutaro wore a pair of boxers, and (Y/N) put on panites and a shirt. Gyutaro yawned again and said, "You wanna take a nap? It's Sunday, so we don't have to do anything for the day." And scratched his head. "I..." She yawned as well, stretching her arms, "...don't need to sleep again."

He scoffs as he responded, "Yeah, sure you don't." He then got under (Y/N)'s bed as he prepped the pillow and laid down. "If you change your mind, you know what to do." He said as he pulled his closed his eyes.

(Y/N) stood there for a couple of seconds before she lets out a sigh of defeat and walked up to her bed as she got under the covers and laid next to him. A smirk crept up to his face as he said, "I knew you couldn't resist." Which made (Y/N) blush as she retorted back, "Shut up."

He chuckles before he wraps his hand around her, and went back to sleep. (Y/N) drops the pout on her face as she made a smirk before she laid her head on his chest, and went back to sleep.

04-25-24 - I feel like the last part wasn't really needed, but I'll leave that up to y'all. Hope you guys enjoyed this, had to write something good for arguably the most underrated character in the show.

Until next time,

✌️👋❤️

Take care.

And to any of you who are cruious about that Scorpion combo that Sekido did to Karaku (probably not a lot), here.

T/CW: video game gore:

[oneforthemunny]

take it to the end of the line |older!dilf!eddie munson x reader| part 11

prompt: a guilt trip, a lapse of judgement, a blow up. or you and eddie's first fight.

contains: age gap relationship. eddie is 42 and reader is 26. angst. make up will be in part 2 of this but angst for now :(

"Why would you do this?"

Eddie's eyes were hard, cold, stern, an unfamiliar look to you. Normally he looked at you with nothing short of adoration. Even when he was frustrated with you, his muddy eyes always held a flicker of light. Not now.

He was furious. You couldn't blame him. You would be mad too given the circumstances.

"Ed, please, I just-"

"You put my daughter in danger." Eddie's voice was cold and cutting, brows furrowing so deep, eyes sharp and boring right through you, slicing you down the middle and leaving you shivering and exposed.

"I didn't-"

"You did." Eddie hisses, jaw flexing. The vein on his neck stood prominent, protruding against his reddened neck and chest. There was no room for argument with his tone, it was final.

"Eddie, please, just-just..." Your lip wobbled. Taking a cleansing breath to keep that familiar burn from rising in your chest, you looked at him, pleading and pitiful. "I swear I didn't... I just wanted Brielle to-to like me." You admitted with a shuddering breath.

Eddie didn't falter, face staying ever stoic and hard. "Like you?" He asked, unbothered by your cringe at his tone. "You wanted Brielle to like you, so you deliberately went against something I said no to, and took her two hours away and put her in danger?"

Your stomach twisted and dropped in uncomfortable guilt. When he put it like that, it sounded so bad.

It wasn't that bad, really.

Well, maybe it was.

Brielle and Madeline had came to you three days ago, begging you to take them to a concert in Indianapolis. Some Indie band playing at a hole in the wall bar, and they needed an adult to take them. Eddie had said no, of course, a bar and a band and his underage daughter was not mixing. It was Eddie's weekend so Gina couldn't save Brielle either.

"Please, it would be cool of you." Brielle pleaded alongside your own little sister. "You know my dad will listen to you. He totally won't care that we went. He doesn't even have to know."

"Yeah, c'mon, you fuckin' owe us." Madeline added, giving you a less than impressed pointed look, one only a little sister could produce. "You're banging' Brie's dad. You put a strain on our friendship. This is us bonding, you have to help us."

You rolled your eyes because you knew she was just being dramatic, a little shit like she'd always been. Yet you worried that her statement held some truth, disguised under sarcastic, dramatic tones and eye rolls, you were with Eddie and it had shifted their relationship. You held some regret about that, some anxieties that appeared every time Brielle would cut her eyes at you.

You held so much anxiety about it, that you opted to take them. Declaring it a girl's day- a bonding night at your apartment to Eddie. You felt nauseous with guilt at how excited he had been, eyes lighting up and dimples deep in a grin when Brielle bobbed her head in excitement.

Then, Friday came around, and you were taking the girls to Indianapolis to some sketchy club you would never go to alone, watching as the bouncer at the door didn't even check IDs. It was noisy, smoky, and they served to everyone. You had drawn the line at them drinking, knowing Eddie and your own parents would have you six foot under if they found out. If. You clung to that if, praying things would go your way.

It never did.

Your cell phone buzzed, Eddie's name flashing across the screen, your face dropping slightly. You decided to decline, texting him something about 'it's a girls night! brie says no boys allowed lol!'.

You were smug in your cleverness over your boyfriend. He'd be none the wiser, then it rang again. You let it ring. Again. You let it go to voicemail, tummy twisting in knots.

From: Eddie

'I'm at your apartment now. Where r u?'

Your heart plummeted, hands shaking when you scrambled for the phone. You scanned the audience, finding the two girls easily near the front, dragging them out frantically.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Dad's gonna kill me, oh my god." Brielle whined, looking down at her own phone to see a string of calls from her father and mother.

Your hands shook, unlocking the door to let the girls in, before standing outside the car to call Eddie.

He was angry, furious, fuming at you. Voice dripping in venom and anger through the line. He yelled at you. Eddie never yelled at you.

"Eddie, I-I was with them!" You tried, throwing your hands out in exasperation. You were scrambling for reason here, to sway him, a scrap of some understanding or a glimmer of his usual affection.

Eddie's brows shot up in challenge. "I wasn't going to let anything happen to them, ok? That's why I went with them!"

"That was fuckin' careless."

"No," You shot back. "If I was careless, I would've just made the lie, and let them go by themselves. Let them buy alcohol when we got there, or-"

Eddie's hand slammed down on the coffee table in front of the two of you, the wood shaking and smack echoing into the room. You jumped, wide eyed with a small gasp looking up at him.

Eddie stood, pinching the bridge of his nose, breathing in slow, letting it out in shaky, harsh puffs. "You need to leave." Eddie gritted.

Your heart plummeted. "W-What?"

"You need to leave." Eddie hissed, eyes flashing at you with so much anger it made your heart drop. "Leave. Now. I don't want to see you right fucking now. I'm gonna say some shit I regret."

Your lip wobbled, stammering around broken breaths and words. "Eddie, please, I-I really didn't-"

"Brielle is not your child, ok?" Eddie roared. "That was not your call to make whether it was ok or not. That is my child, and you are my girlfriend. I said no, and you fuckin' disrespected me. You hurt me. Me." He shoved a finger into his chest, eyes wild and electric when they scorched down at you.

You were frozen in spot, stammering and sputtering for words, chilled from his icy, mean tone. "I already went through this shit with Gina, and I'm not going through that again." Eddie snapped. "I thought you'd actually care about me-"

"-Don't say that." Your voice cracked, head shaking furiously. "I do care about you, Eddie. I'm sorry. I just, I wanted Brielle to-"

"I don't give a shit if you wanted Brielle to like you or not." Eddie growled. "You shouldn't be trying to get Brielle to like you at the expense of disrespecting me. Putting my baby in danger. I mean, fuck, what if Gina found out?" Eddie roared, throwing his hand out.

"Do you realize what she'd do to me? She'd take my ass to court and say I let my girlfriend take my underage daughter to a bar and-and she'd get Brielle taken away from me." Eddie's face crumbled, brows furrowing and lips pressing together to keep himself from wavering.

Your heart shattered, breaking and sinking deep into the pit of your tummy. You hadn't thought of that, truthfully.

"I-I'm so, so sorry." You shuddered out in a quiet whisper, tears streaming down you cheeks, dripping under your chin and down to your lap.

Eddie looked at you, eyes glassy and red rimmed of his own. He looked so upset, so hurt. You felt sick.

"You need to leave." Eddie said firmly, jaw locking and shoulders rolling to straighten his posture. "I can't... I need some time to cool off."

Some time. It was a haunting ring in your ears that left you dizzy, overwhelmed with fear and dread and guilt.

You nodded, swallowing to hold back your own tears. Shaky hands reached for your purse, walking to the door on numb legs. Eddie still held the door open for you, still walked you to the porch. The gesture made you sob, a strangled cry ripping from your throat.

"Eddie, I-I really am so sorry. Really." You sniffled, turning to him before you got into your car.

Eddie nodded, curtly but didn't speak. Didn't tell you to drive safe or that he loved you. Didn't tap on the window and point for you to roll it down, before leaning in to smooch you sloppy and sweet, your head pressed back into the head rest.

Not this time.

Eddie simply crossed his arms over his chest, not aggressive but protective, shielding himself from you. You crumbled, a shaky, pathetic sob breaking through you while you slammed the door.

You couldn't see, vision clouded with tears, but you couldn't sit there and watch Eddie look at you, so sad and hurt, knowing you were to blame. You and your stupid actions. You parked on the next street over, sobbing angrily, fists slamming and punching the wheel while you screamed, hurt and angry. Anguished cries and screams that ripped through your body, racking your frame with hard sobs until you were hiccuping.

You'd hurt Eddie.

He'd compared you to Gina... Gina. You felt physically ill at the revelation, shaking your head before starting on the main road. Your heart felt heavy, stomach a pit of knots and nerves. You knew you'd fucked up. You knew it was over, and the worse part is you had no one to blame but yourself. No, this time it wasn't him, wasn't another girl, wasn't communication issues, or Gina, or distance, or even the age. There was no excuses you could use this time, no face to save, because this was all on you.

This was all your fault.

[mommycitas]

I’d really love to read “i already forgave you. why can’t you forgive yourself ? w negan please!

A/N; you don't even know how happy this req made me oh my god I'm shaking how good this prompt is omg I really hope you like what I did with this!! It's lowk short buuuuut I hope that's ok! (I made the reader Glenn's sister sooo!!! X3)

summary; When you were visiting Negan's cell, some inner feelings you had towards each other come out

pairing; Negan x Rhee!Reader

Pronouns/Name; She/Her, Y/N

Warning; Angsty, swearing, Negan being a crybaby, Negan being look ooc, ykkk. NOT PROOF READ !!!

Word count; 608

It had took Michonne a lot of convincing to let you talk to Negan. But you needed closure, he killed your brother in front of you for fucks sake. Well that's the excuse you told her, in reality you had deep down forgiven him. So many people from all 3 communities refused to even mutter his name, it was a little far fetched of them in your opinion but you somewhat understood. You'll miss your brother for the rest of your life and his last words will always echo in your ears when you're trying to sleep. But Negan has been rotting in a cellar for years, people laughing and mocking him. You always heavily believed in the justice system before the world went to shit, if someone has served their time they should be forgiven.

You wipe the sweat off your hands as you stand before the door his enclosure is located in. Carefully you unlock the door and creak it open. Staring before him, the broken shell of the man you had feared for so long. You could tell he tensed up knowing exactly who you were. "What pleasure do I own this visit?" his rugged voice sends shivers down your spine. "You know who I am?" you nervously shift towards his cell. "Yeah" he sounds desperate and pitiful "Your the widows sister in law." "Maggie.. her name is Maggie." suddenly you regret coming here in the first place, shifting your weight between feet. "You come here to ridicule me? Tell me I deserved to die in that field? If you did save your breathe, I've heard it before, I don't care." he scoffs at you "Well, actually. I wanted to come here to tell you," you pause and wrap a hand around the barring of his cell "I forgive you." you watch his whole demeanor change in an instant. "I know the others aren't as forgiving but I believe everyone has rights for a second chance, I believe you served your time."

Unexpectedly, he drops to his knees in front of you, tears streaming into his salt and pepper beard. "You don't mean that, you hate me I know it!" he yells with a concerning amount of volume, causing you to kneel down to be the same level as him. "I don't. I did for a long time, but even more seeing you here. I feel nothing but pity for you. You did even wicked things but you don't deserve this." He stares at you blankly "I don't deserve your forgiveness, I killed your brother. You should be spitting at my feet." you reach through the bars and cup his cheek "I've forgiven you, why can't you forgive yourself?" he stands up and backs away from you, refusing your touch. "I hate the things you've done, but I don't hate you." you sigh

Getting off the ground you back away from his cell and walk towards the door without looking back, a wave of regret washes over you. "Y/N. Wait." he calls out, causing you to spin slowly on your heels. "Thank you. For forgiving me, for not hating me. I know it must be really hard, and I'm sorry." he mutters so low you can barely hear anything he is saying. You give it a moment to let his words really sink to your core. Smiling and nodding. You stare silently at the man who was broken beyond repair, a man who can't even forgive his own actions. You turn and leave. Praying deep down, he can see the man he is, isn't the man he has to be. Praying he will learn to forgive himself.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ‘I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[brighttears]

It's Gonna Have To Be Enough

Joel miller x reader

No physical description, gender neutral, no use of y/n

Summary: Joel gets in his head watching you sleep until you wake and bring him out. just fluff

Warnings: brief mention of bugs and light gore, pet names (honey)

Word count: 1k

A/n: Writers blocks got me in its talons :( I’m just trying to throw shit together now to get Some kind of story. Pls pray for me

–

The body lying before him, curled up on a hard, dirt ground, makes Joel’s heart burn and sink in his chest.

Powerlessness. That will always be his number one enemy. Love, his second. Because there you lay, lax in sleep, so vulnerable. Joel looks down at his hands, every knuckled scarred, blood ever ingrained under his fingernails. He is no man for you. But yet here he stands, regret, sorrow, fury, guilt, fear, and love, seeping out of him to fall on you like rain. He’d do anything–he’s done anything, and he always will, to protect you, save you. 

But he can’t.

You’re already ruined. You’re already doomed. 

Joel can almost already see fungus sprouting from your skin, those damning veins shooting out from a bloody bite mark to poison the rest of you. If you turn into a monster, is it still you inside? He’s so afraid that he’ll love you even then, even if you turned into one of them. 

Joel takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. Not yet. You’re still alive, he still has you. He wants to take you up in his arms to prove that to himself, but you’re fast asleep, so he’s alone, full of homeless longing. But god, it fills him. 

Is my heart heavy, or is it empty?

He loves you, he loves you, if he knows nothing else, he knows this. But can he do it right? Can he give you what you deserve, or whatever salvageable sliver may be left of it?

Joel’s brain is filled with maggots. Most of the people he’s met are dead. The last thing he remembers of a lot of them are their corpses, or even worse, their dead and hungry eyes focused on him. The worst of all, what their heads looked like after a shotgun. 

He can’t stop staring at you. Looking at you when you’re like this, so innocent, so relaxed, Joel can imagine another life with you, a domestic one, where you don’t have to worry about any of this. 

But then you start to cry out, and then you’re screaming and thrashing, and he can’t even wake you then, Joel is forced to wait it out until you wake up on your own. He thinks that when he goes to hell, that's what it’ll be. 

Powerlessness. 

He knelt down, folding his legs and waiting, watching you unable to escape from any of it, even in your sleep. 

And then you wake, and when you look into his eyes it’s fear first, always fear first, and then relief, and then you’re in his arms. He breathes again. 

“Did I wake you up?” You murmur into his shoulder. 

“No, I was awake.”

“Were you watching me sleep?”

He chuckles and admits, “Yes.”

“That's ok. I like to watch you sleep, too.” there’s still sleepiness in your voice. 

“You fell asleep on the ground, honey,”

“I did?”

“Yeah. Come on, let me get you up into the truck.” Joel goes to pick you up but you raise with him to your feet. It stings; he wants to hold you so his body will shield you from everything, including the dirt, because it’s cold and it’s hard, not somewhere you should be.

You pop open the tailgate, eyes still squinting against consciousness, and climb in. Joel follows and you take a minute to settle in. A mess of dirty blankets barely cushion the hard metal, but it's better than nothing. You lay on your sides, facing each other. You reach your hand out to push Joel’s hair behind his ear, not because you need to, just an excuse to brush your hand over his cheek and through his graying locks. 

He’s staring at you with those big, sad, brown puppy dog eyes. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?

You can read him too well now for him to get away with lying–trying to protect you from even his own thoughts, but you’ve fought your way through. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Eveythin’s wrong.” he whispers, “This world… it’s rott’n. You don’t belong… in the rot.”

“Are you in the rot?”

“Yeah, I am.” to him, this is where you separate. He is the rot that you don’t belong in. But you tell him the opposite. 

“Then I belong in the rot. And you can’t tell me otherwise. I love you. I won’t ever leave you. I’m with you.” You reach out again to brush his hair back, watching your hands over his skin and hair, then back down to those big, beautiful, sad eyes. You wish you could crawl inside of him and dig all the sadness out. “Why are you so sad?”

“Because… because I can’t save you.”

“Save me from what?”

“Everythin’. Anythin’.”

“What can you do?” 

“I–I don’t know, what? What can I do?” What do you want me to do? What can I give you? Just tell me, and I’ll do it. 

“You know this one.” you tap his nose with your finger. You’ve had this conversation before and you wait for him to wade through himself and remember what you’d taught him about it.

It takes him a minute but then he remembers, “Love you. I can love you.”

“Mhm.” 

Joel moves himself closer to you, placing a hand on your cheek and touching his forehead to yours. This is what you do to ground yourselves. You use this technique frequently—for moments like these, or when you’re the one trying to take him out of his nightmares, or even in the stink of gunpowder, when you’re about to round a corner, make a run for it, or take a risky aim. 

Here you are, here am I.

“That’s all you have to do Joel.”

Joel hums, wanting to keep it to himself, but you’ll pull it out of him anyway. “It's not enough.”

“I love you Joel. Is that not enough for you?”

“No, it is, it is enough,” he raises his whisper, “‘course it’s enough.” 

“Mhmm?” you smile. 

His voice goes back to a murmur, “Ok, ok. I get it.”

“You’re already enough, stupid.” you touch your fingertip to the tip of his nose again and then kiss it. He pecks your lips. 

“Alright. Close yer eyes ‘n go to sleep now, honey.”

Joel pushes your hip and you roll over so he can spoon you. 

“You better be going to sleep, too.”

“I’m not gonna be able to keep my eyes open like this. You make me sleepy.”

It takes him a while to finally fall asleep and he uses the time to ponder your words. Joel’s not sure if he’ll ever feel like enough, but he can at least trust that you believe it. He can’t rely on his own standards when he’s doing all of this for you. If it’s enough for you just for him to love you, then he’s good enough. 

He’d found something beautiful in the ugliness of the infected world. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take it and never let go. After everything, there you are, and here he is.

[winchesterwild78]

Montana part 5

Master List

Characters: Beau Arlen x Reader, Jenny Hoyt x Reader (cousins) 

Warnings: Angst, Anxiety, Language, assault, kidnapping, domestic violence, Nonconsensual sex, 

TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence and Non-Consensual sex

Minors DNI 18+

A/N: This chapter is shorter due to the nature of the content. 😃 New series I’m working on. Doesn’t follow the Big Sky story but has some characters. 

This is a work of fiction. All work is my own, don’t take it. 

I edited it quickly, Please overlook any errors. Thanks. 😊 

🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀

You woke up and stretched looking over and seeing Beau sleeping peacefully beside you. The light coming in from the curtains danced across his freckled chest and face. He was a gorgeous man. Last night was incredible. Neither of you had planned to end up in your bed, but you have no regrets. 

You kept staring at him and would occasionally bite your lip thinking back to last night. You had never felt the way you did last night with anyone else, including David. Beau was not only an incredible lover, but he was very skilled. 

“You keep staring at me like that darlin and I’m going to have to take you for another round.” Beau’s voice gruff with sleep broke the silence in the room. You giggled “I wouldn’t object to that.” You leaned over and kissed his lips. His eyes fluttered open and his green eyes looked into yours. “Good morning, sweetheart.” “Good morning, handsome.” You smiled. 

“We should probably get up and face the music. I’m sure Jenny is already up.” You sighed. Beau nodded in agreement. “Hey, sweetheart, I want you to know last night was incredible and I don’t regret it at all.” “I don’t either, Beau. I can’t wait to do it again.” You smiled softly. “Me either, darlin.” He grinned and placed a soft kiss on your lips. 

You climbed out of bed and threw on some clothes. Beau got up and grabbed his jeans. “You ready, Y/N?” You nodded and grabbed the door handle. You took a breath and prepared for Jenny’s famous “you’re in trouble” look. If looks could kill she would have dropped a lot of people throughout the years. 

Beau placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out. When you two walked out the house was silent. You looked over your shoulder at Beau with a little relief in your eyes. The lights were still on from last night, and you thought that was a little weird, but brushed it off. 

You rounded the corner walking into the kitchen and froze. Beau ran into you. “What? What’s wrong?” He asked, walking around you. The kitchen was a mess. Food was left out, the refrigerator door was open, a broken wine bottle on the floor, and it looked like there was a struggle. You gasped and looked at Beau. 

“Y/N, don’t touch anything!” Beau ran back to your room and grabbed his phone. “Hey Pop, I need you and a team to get to Jenny’s house NOW! It looks like someone broke in. Is Jenny there? “Shit! Okay, yeah, hurry!” “Beau, what’s wrong? Where is Jenny?” “Check her room, she’s not at work.” 

You ran to Jenny’s room and her bed was still made. You checked and her car was still outside. Grabbing your phone you tried to call her. You heard the phone ringing in the living room. Your heart sank. “Oh, Beau. Where is she?!” He put his arms around you as you sobbed. “We will find her, baby.” 

A few minutes later Pop and half the sheriff's office was in the house going over every inch. There was a small amount of blood found beside the broken bottle and your heart sank. You prayed Jenny was okay. 

Pop and the forensics team confirmed there were clear signs of a struggle, and the back door had been kicked in. 

“I know he has her, Beau. David has her because of me.” You sobbed. “Shhh, it’s okay. We don’t know that. We have a dangerous job, honey. It could be anyone.” Beau reassured you. You however knew it was David. He would take away everything you loved so you had no choice but to come back. 

You felt a fire burn in your body. You were beyond pissed. You got up, dried your face, and grabbed your phone. Pop and Beau looked at each other confused. You dialed a number and held the phone to your ear. Beau saw your jaw tense and he stepped closer to you. 

“Where the fuck is she, David?! I know you have her, or one of your many friends you send to scare people. No! Fuck you! Yes, okay fine. Just don’t hurt Jenny. She has nothing to do with this. Fine.” You hung up and stormed to your bedroom. 

Beau was hot on your heels. “Honey, what happened? Does he have her? Did he tell you where she is?” “He took her Beau. He said if I meet him to talk he will let her go. So I’m going to meet him. I can’t let anything happen to her, Beau.” “No! I can’t let you meet him, Y/N.” Beau grabbed your arm. 

You jerked your arm away. “Let go of me Beau! You can’t prevent me from saving Jenny.” Beau’s eyes went wide. “Honey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you. I just can’t lose you. Please let us find Jenny.” “Beau, this is my fault. I have to make it right.” “You can, just tell me where you were supposed to meet David and I will take it from there.” You thought for a second and put your head down. “He said there is an abandoned ranch about 30 minutes out of town. He wanted me to meet him there.” You sighed and hung your head.

“Okay, you stay here, Y/N. Thank you.” Beau kissed you, told the team to move and they were gone. Tears fell from your eyes. You lied to Beau, but you needed to save her. David said if anyone other than you showed up Jenny would be dead. You couldn’t risk it. You got dressed quickly, grabbed your stuff and left.

Jumping in your car you drove to the house David said to meet him at. When you pulled up at the house you saw David’s car. Before you could get out of the car he was on the porch smiling like he hadn’t just kidnapped your cousin. “Hey beautiful, so glad you could make it. I’ve missed you.” He pulled you into a hug and forcibly kissed your lips. You groaned and tried to pull away. 

He slapped you across your face and you yelped in pain. “That’s for thinking you could leave me. Remember who you belong to. Not that pussy sheriff.” He grabbed your face and turned you towards him and growled “You…Are….MINE!” Tears streamed down your face. “Say it! Say you’re mine!” “Yes, I’m yours.” You whispered. 

As he moved his hand away you flinched. “Oh sweetheart, don’t be like that. You know you made me hit you. I love you. It’s time to go home.” His voice dripped with venom and honey. It sent a shiver down your spine. “I’m here David, please just let Jenny go. You said if I came you’d let her go. I came alone. I even sent the police in the opposite direction.” 

“I’m not done with you yet, you have to prove to me you’re mine.” His face inches from your ear. Your stomach turned. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the house. You winched at the pain. “Please, David. Don’t do this. I don’t want to do this.” He stopped and grabbed you by your throat slamming you into the wall. Hitting your head hard, you saw stars. “You are my WIFE! You will please me and do whatever I want. Unless you want your precious Jenny to pay for it. I know you let that sheriff fuck you. I still have plans for him, but for now I’ll punish you. 

Tears streamed down your face. All you could think about was Beau and Jenny. Your head was pounding from being slammed into the wall and you were terrified about what was coming next. David pulled you into the bedroom and told you to sit down. You walked to the bed and sat. Your body began trembling with fear. “David please, you don’t have to do this.” You begged. 

“Shut up!” He slapped you across your face, causing your head to turn quickly to the side. You tasted blood. David ordered you to take off your clothes. “You take them off or I’ll rip them off. Your choice sweetheart.” Your stomach turned every time he called you that. You removed your clothes trying not to piss him off. He slammed you on the bed and began to tie you down. “David, you don’t have to do this. I won’t go anywhere, please.” You begged as tears filled your eyes. “Do I need to hit you again?! I like tying you up. I like when you beg.” He sneered. 

Once you were tied up David removed his clothes. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t want him, you wanted Beau, but you would do anything to keep Jenny and Beau safe, and he knew it. “Look at my beautiful wife. All laid out waiting for me to take her.” He groaned as he positioned himself between your legs. Your body tensed up. Not waiting for you to be ready he pushed in. You screamed in agony, begging him to stop. Tears rolled out of the corner of your eyes and David violated your body. 

You slowly let your mind drift away. Thinking about the picnic you and Beau shared. The love you two were building. When David was finished he leaned over and kissed you. He left you laying on the bed tied up. Your body was bruised, bloody and used. “I’ll be back later. You be a good girl and stay put.” He laughed. 

“Hey, yeah, she showed up. Go ahead and let Jenny go, but tell her I’ll kill her and Y/N if she comes looking for us.” David hung up his phone. You thought “at least she’s safe.” You were shivering from the pain and cold. “David, can I please have a blanket? I’m so cold.” You whispered. “Sure baby, anything for you.” He grabbed a blanket. The way he was able to switch between being so sweet and being a lunatic scared you more than anything. 

When Jenny arrived at the station she was badly beaten and weak. Pop called Beau who was out searching for you. When Beau returned to the station he wrapped Jenny in a strong embrace. “Are you okay Hoyt?” Concern in his voice. “Yeah, nothing I can’t handle. Where is Y/N? The guy who had me said she showed up so I could go. David wanted her. He knew the only way she would come was to take me. Beau, we have to find her.” Jenny cried. 

“You need to rest, leave finding her to me. I promise I will find her.” Beau assured her. Jenny tried to protest but she knew it was no use. Beau got together a team and they worked on searching for you. A few hours later they thought they had a location. “Okay, everyone, I want to go in quietly. If they are in there I don’t want to alert him and he hurts Y/N. I want EMS standing by. We want weapons out, but take him alive if possible. I want him to pay for what he’s done. Everyone understand the plan? Any questions? Alright, let’s go!” Beau and the team left to station towards the ranch they thought you were at. He was able to get a ping from your cell and narrowed it down to a ranch that was for sale. 

As Beau drove towards the ranch he prayed you were safe. He knew David was a monster, but he wasn’t sure how much you leaving had pushed him over the age. Beau and the team parked outside the ranch’s main gate and coordinated surrounding the area. Beau took a few deputies with him and headed down the main path. 

As he approached the main house he heard your cries of pain. David was making you pay for leaving him, yet again. Your screams and begging him to stop made Beau’s pulse quicken. He signaled to the deputies to surround the house. He walked in the front door. His heart in his throat as he heard you screaming for David to stop. 

Finding the door he knew you were behind, Beau kicked it in with his gun drawn. He saw David on top of you and he yelled “Freeze, get the fuck off of her!” Beau grabbed David and slammed him to the ground, pulling him off of you. The other deputies came in and helped subdue David while Beau ran to your side. He untied you and covered you with a blanket. You collapsed in his arms sobbing. “Oh Beau, I’m so sorry. I had to protect you and Jenny. I’m so sorry.” “Shh, it’s okay baby. We’re safe, and now so are you. He will never hurt you again, baby.” 

As the deputies stood David up he looked over at you “You’re mine, you’ll always be mine!” Beau stood up blocking David’s view of you “No, David, she’s not yours, and you’re never going to hurt her again.” David lunged at Beau and Beau punched him in the face, breaking his nose. “Get this piece of shit out of here. Now!” Beau demanded. Beau helped you up “Honey, we need to have you checked out by EMS. Please go with them. I’ll be right behind in my truck.” He kissed your head. 

The hospital checked you over and took all the samples and documented the assault. They released you to go home, and Beau drove you. He reached for your hand and you pulled it away. “I’m sorry. I should have asked.” Beau looked back at the road. “Beau, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I pulled away.” Tears fell. “Hey, it’s okay. You have every right to pull away. Don’t be sorry. We will figure it out.” He softly said. 

Beau pulled up to the house and Jenny came running out. When she saw you she threw her arms around you. Beau felt a pang in his heart. He wanted to hug you too, but he understood why you wouldn’t pull away from her. “Oh my god, Y/N! Don’t ever do anything like that again. I could have lost you. Oh god I’m so glad you’re safe and David is where he belongs.” “I know, Jenny. Me too.” She let go of you and ran to Beau throwing her arms around him. “Thank you! Thank you for bringing our girl home safely. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her.” She told him. 

Beau nodded. “Yeah, I’m glad both of you are safe. Well, I better get going. I’ve got some paperwork to finish.” Beau looked over at you and softly smiled. “Beau, why don’t you come in for a bit. Let me cook you some dinner. It’s the least I could do.” Jenny said. You bit your lip and looked at the ground. You wanted to scream for him to stay, but you were scared. Not of him, but of what David did to your body. You were bruised and broken. Beau deserved better. “Um, I don’t know Jenny. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” Beau said reluctantly. 

You walked over to Beau and touched his arm softly “Beau, please stay. I’d like that.” Beau smiled and nodded. The three of you walked towards the house and you took Beau’s hand in yours. His breath hitched and he squeezed it slightly. You knew he would keep you safe and you had some healing to do, but with Beau by your side, you knew you would be okay. 

Tags: @nescaveckdaily  @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter

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@suckitands33 @arcannaa @n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl

@hobby27 @manicjk @stoneyggirl2 @1-read-the-hobbit-in-1937 

[who-knew-a-sheep-can-write]

Police Dog: Bigby Wolf x Fem!Cop!Reader - Chapter 5

Contains: Descriptions of violence, blood

He didn’t want to bring you along.

It was the last thing he would ever want to do, but his hands were tied. He couldn’t risk defying yet another order from King Cole or else he’d risk it all just to keep a Mundy safe.

That’s all you were: A Mundy cop. A human.

Regret clawed at Bigby’s gut in the back of the cab as the damned thing came to a stop in front of the aforementioned club. He was about to tell the cab driver to take you back to your apartment when you had already gotten out, and when you closed the door behind you it practically sealed your fates for the morning.

As you both stood before the club, he felt… something.

He couldn’t put his finger on it. Was it an emotion? Was it his body still trying to quickly heal from his little brawl with Hook a few hours ago? He remembers feeling like this before, but not for many moons. It was like his organs were being squeezed in a vice-like grip, twisting and knotting between two strong hands as his heart beat wildly against his ribcage.

He didn’t like this feeling.

And he especially didn’t like the look of the club before you both.

It was obvious that it was shutting down for the night despite the sun slowly rising over the towering skyscrapers as the bustling city started to come to life. Men started to file out randomly from the front door, heads hung low and rumpled collars drawn up high to obscure their faces for at least a few blocks before they were in the clear. He recognized some of the men just by scent alone, Fables he had met once upon a time when they all fled here.

The bright neon sign suddenly flicked off, signaling that it was really the end of the graveyard shift. Bigby gave the sign an unamused look: ‘The Hungman.’

He briefly wondered if Peter still owned the building before you gently nudged Bigby’s trim side with your elbow to get his attention before nodding towards the door. He jumped at the contact, not used to being touched at all besides getting the shit beat out of him, especially with it being so gentle. Would it be wrong for him to like that? He felt his heart beating louder inside of him, his blood suddenly running like molten lead in his veins.

He needed to play it cool.

This was wrong. He can’t do this. He can’t do this to you.

He turned his attention towards the bouncer with his broad back turned to the two of you, his phone cradled between a burly shoulder and his ear as he spoke rudely over the phone.

He didn’t like the sudden feeling he had growing in his gut.

You had made for the bouncer, about to question him about your suspects like you were trained to do when Bigby grasped at your arm. You felt awful when you felt the butterflies in your stomach flutter and dance around, but it kind of felt amazing having him gripping you. You turned to look at him, praying your cheeks weren’t lit aflame when he shook his head softly. You wanted to pout when he released your arm and made for the door. He managed to catch it behind a man who had just left, sticking the toe of his dress shoe between the door and the frame quickly before he nodded for you to follow. You kept your eyes pinned to the back of the bouncer’s head, watching carefully just in case he spotted you but he was busy being an asshole over the phone to notice.

The door shut quietly behind you, leaving you both alone in a short hallway where the lights were dimmed and soft music played from the speakers overhead.

“What kind of club calls itself ‘The Hungman’?” you whispered to Bigby.

The sheriff bit at his upper lip to keep himself from laughing.

“This is - or at least was - Peter’s club.”

“Peter Pan?”

“Yeah. He hasn’t been around here in ages though, so his lost boys took it over.”

A rile of laughter echoed down the hallway followed by the music changing to something more grating. You were still fighting off the feelings of exhaustion that tugged at your eyes and the music did nothing more than make your temples pound and your skull to hurt.

Bigby started walking and you made to sure to follow close behind. There was a cutout at the end of the hallway that led to the actual strip club. It was similar to the few you had to go to for cases, mostly dealing with missing prostitutes or drug trafficking, but never a murder case. Until now, that is. It had the stage to your left surrounded by two rows of booths on different levels, the stage was decked out with a pole and curtains and even a booth for music. To your right was a bar fully stocked with liquors you would normally see at a bar along with some bottles you had to guess belonged to Fables. In between were rickety old tables with chairs needing to be tucked back in, and along the back wall laid a few dug in booths, one of which was occupied.

Four men sat facing each other, completely oblivious to you both standing there right under the archway. They were laughing, bottles of half drunk beer from a company you didn’t recognize before them along with stacks of bills they were going through and making smaller piles - probably to pay the strippers for the night if you had to take a guess. Rattling over at the bar had you glancing there once again. A very large man stood up from behind the bar with empty alcohol bottles in his massive hands. He wasn’t paying attention at first, but quickly looked over when he finally realized that they weren’t alone anymore. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of you both, mostly at Bigby before a lazy grin fell on his face.

“Sheriff Bigby,” he slurred, “never expected to see you here.”

He was obviously drunk, you wouldn’t be surprised if he had finished off the last of those bottles he was setting onto the barback when the services finished for the night.

At his words, the other four men in the booth shot their heads up and looked over with wide eyes. The money stopped getting counted, one of them almost let their beer bottle slip from their hand.

“With a mundy, no doubt, too,” one of the men scoffed from the booth.

“So the rumors are true then?” another smirked like a creep. “Bigby needs a mundy cop to keep him on a leash?”

It didn’t surprise you that news would spread this fast. Not only was this New York City where everyone knew everyone else’s business - even more so in some boroughs - but this was also a close-knit community of people that have known each other and their shit for centuries on end.

“We’re just here to ask you all some questions,” you stated firmly, aiming to get back on track and then get the hell out of dodge.

“What kind of questions, mundy girl?” the large one hiccuped as he slowly rounded the bar.

“Was Captain Hook here a few nights ago causing a disturbance?”

The men at the booth all suddenly got up and exited out onto the floor in front of you. You didn’t like the feeling that bubbled in the pit of your stomach, it was like a cauldron boiling something evil and icy. Bigby took a half step forward, almost like he was protecting you from them. His glare was something dangerous as he made sure to keep an eye on all five of them in case they started something they’d regret.

“And what if he was?” the one with buck teeth and lanky limbs piped up.

“He said that you all assaulted him and took some of his property. Is that true?”

“And what if it is?” the two men who appeared to be twins piped up at the same time.

“This have something to do with those murders?” the one with buck teeth asked in a condescending tone. Your eyes widened at that one, the men only snickered at your expression. “Talk o’ the whole town. Their little neighbor wouldn’t stop squawking about it. And you’re here wasting your time on us.”

“You took something of his that ended up at the scene of the crime,” Bigby stepped in. “You can all either answer the fucking questions or I’ll take you all in for murder and throw you all down the witching well myself.”

“Woah, woah, we didn’t do fucking anything,” the shorter of the bunch spat.

They were all getting agitated. You felt unsafe, unconsciously tucking yourself behind Bigby a bit as you didn’t know what to expect when it came to facing against fables, especially so many at once. Would Bigby even be able to handle this by himself?

“You come into our club and start throwing out this kind of bullshit?” the buck tooth one came closer to the both of you.

“You need to back the fuck up,” Bigby took a heavy step forward.

“No, what we need is for you both to get the fuck out of our club, you fucking mutt. Take your little mundy whore and get o-”

Bigby shut him up with a swift punch to the nose, the man stumbling back as he clutched at his bleeding face.

That started it.

The rest all lunged at the two of you. You were quickly shoved back by the smaller fable, barely dodging his punch when you delivered a swift smack across his oily face. He was taken back by it, his cheek already showing the red handprint starting to form when he suddenly snatched at your person. You yelled, you struggled against him, managing to punch him right in the sternum causing him to drop you and clutch at his body. You were about to push him away when he lunged again, socking you right in the cheek before he suddenly lifted you up and threw you. Your body collided with the flat top of one of the tables before you slid off completely, the table and chairs falling over and clattering to the ground.

You landed on your back. Hard.

You wheezed as the wind was knocked completely out of you, your back seizing and your tailbone crying in pain as your nerves felt like they were being shocked. Your vision went a little hazy, swaying slightly as your vision blurred on the sides.

You heard an odd noise through the muffle in your ear and over the blaring music, it sounded something like an animal snarling mixed with something more monstrous. You tried to sit up, only managing to prop yourself up on your elbows before the pain in your back shot right through you, a short cry cut off from your mouth as you gasped at the feeling.

You suddenly heard the five other men shouting only to be followed by the sudden smashing of glass and crackling of breaking wood. You managed to crane your head up, drowsy eyes finally cracking open to see the smaller of the five hit the ground all beaten and bleeding.

Bigby was surrounded by the rest, his broad back to you. His hands were balled into fists, his knuckles broken open and bleeding, his forearms and biceps flexing as he panted like a wild animal. You almost didn’t notice how his arms looked fuller, and how they looked… hairier? His fists slowly uncurled and your eyes widened at the sight of long, black claws adorning his fingertips where his nails should’ve been.

The men around him had looks muddled fear and anger painted across their faces, especially the big drunk one.

They all went at Bigby one after another, hands balled into fists or holding a shattered beer bottle or two. The way Bigby moved made it seem like his clothes were suddenly too tight on his despite his usual dress shirt and slacks normally looking like they would fall off his person if he lost any more weight. Brawny muscles bulged as he fought them all off at the same time.

Sinking his claws into the smallest one of the lot, he hoisted him up and slammed him down onto the floor, his claws sinking in deep and drawing blood. He didn’t let go, however, and hoisted him up again only to slam him even harder against the dull carpet causing the wood underneath to crack violently. He was about to do it again when the lanky one grappled at his back and yanked him away.

He instead latched onto the poor fool and swung him off, colliding with the twins as the large one socked Bigby across the jaw before Bigby gave him the same treatment back. He stumbled backwards, heavy footfalls shaking the entire floor through the carpet. It was a shock he didn’t just tip over and crash onto the floor with how drunk he already was. Instead, he wiped the blood that had started to dribble from his now very broken nose and swung again at Bigby only to miss this time. Bigby retaliated, slashing at the big guy with his claws and sliced right into his chest.

You had managed to pull yourself back from the carnage but you didn’t get far when your back suddenly seized with pain again. You managed to crawl backwards until your reached the wall and somehow found the strength to sit up against it when you saw the last one fall.

Bigby snarled at the five men lying in a strewn out heap across the strip club’s floor, his eyes glowing a dangerous shade of yellow that cut through the blue tone the lights gave off. He was huffing and puffing like a beast, clawed fingers flexing and his chest heaving as though he just sprinted a full marathon. It took him a minute to finally calm down when he realized you were looking right at him.

He looked ashamed of himself, his brawny shoulders slouching in shame as his eyes widened and were almost mournful. He lost control in front of a mundy, in front of you. You couldn’t imagine the horrible thoughts that were racing through his mind.

Seeing him like this made you wonder what else he was capable of.

[mykneeshurt]

Haunted part thirteen

Bruhhhhh. Did I do a tome jump cause I’m a pussy? Yes.

Warnings - mentions of self harm, self critical thinking, self blame, negative thoughts

If these types of thoughts affects you be wary when coming to the end of this chapter. ❤️ self care is important! I love y’all.

Part 14

1 week later

The beeping of your alarm clock pulled you from the deep slumber you were in. Lying there in darkness, the green glow from your alarm clock offered little light. 05:00. Gross. November had turned into December and the chill you could feel permeated your bones. It had been a week since your argument with Ghost and your emotionally led encounter with Soap. He gave you space but you could see the adoration in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Bile sat just at the back of your throat.

Rolling out of bed you meandered your way to the bathroom, a quick shower to warm you up before what ever shenanigans awaited you. There was a new team coming to train at the barracks for the next few months. You were situated in the heart of the Brecon Beacons, in Sennybridge. The harsh terrain around you would challenge even the most dedicated solider, not the mention the weather had a mind of its own. It was home.

Once dressed you made your way to the mess hall, you’d hardly eaten since coming back. The stress of your emotions having taken a toll on your appetite. You opted for a cup of tea, strong, 2 heaped sugars and a breakfast bar. You sat on your own on one of the tables, replaying his words over and over. Just a fuck. A mistake. Each syllable carved a further crevice of regret in your soul. You led Soap on, all because you wanted to feel something other than rejection. Ghost would be furious, they’re best friends.

Forcing the breakfast bar down your throat you noticed Ghost enter the hall. Bile threatened your taste buds once again. Choosing to concentrate on your tea instead you prayed he’d get what he needed and go. Except he didn’t.

The unmistakeable sound of his boots crossed the hall until they were stood in front of you. Tea clasped between your fingers you slowly worked your eyes up his thick, muscular legs, over his taught firm abdomen, to his disgustingly beautiful chest before coming to a stop in his eyes. His sweet, melancholic eyes.

You swallowed the tea in a huge gulp. Unable to find any words to say. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

‘You look like shit’ he muttered crossing his arms across his chest. ‘Gee, thanks’ you replied taking another sip of your tea. ‘You eating?’ He said bluntly.

‘Yeah.’

‘Liar.’

You snorted. ‘I’m trying. Not really hungry.’ He took a seat opposite you, ‘why?’ You fidgeted in your seat, which answer do you give him? Because you made me feel worthless ? Like I didn’t matter to you? That I fucked your best friend? That I liked it? That I still thought of you as he fucked me?

‘Just not hungry’ you shrugged. He let out of a sound of dissatisfaction. ‘You sleeping?’

‘Jesus, didn’t realise I was being interrogated.’

‘I’ll take that as a no.’

‘Fuck off Simon.’ You smiled into your cup. God what were you doing. ‘I need to get going.’ You stood, blood rushing from your head, losing your balance slightly you fumbled over the seat. Within a flash Ghost was by your side and caught you before you fell flat on your ass. Holding onto your forearms he helped you back to your feet.

His touch seared your skin, to have him holding you again, it felt like home. Your breath hitched in your throat as your heart pounded in your hollow chest. His gaze lingered on yours, devouring you whole. Your chest began to tighten and you struggled to release your breath. He let you go, not saying anything further.

Once free from his grasp you marched to your office and shut the door. You slammed your back against the door and slid to the floor, fresh tears streamed down your face. You’d been up an hour and you were already in a pile on the floor. You took deep breaths trying, pleading with your body to calm down. You hugged your knees to your chest and stroked the old scars on your arms, all you could see were his eyes. Eyes that had seen you at your most vulnerable, your weakest and pathetic moments. Eyes that offered you reassurance and affection in a single look.

You clawed at your hair, gripping it from the root as an anguished cry ripped from your throat. Pure frustration and sadness finally being let out after a week of trying to function. Ghosts grip on you finally pushed you over the edge. Your body shook with pure emotion, pain, despair over what you’d done. What made it worse was how gentle Soap was with you, you could feel his emotion through his touch. Something you longed for with Ghost, but the fucker is so emotionally unavailable. But Soap was. He wanted you. To be with you. But you couldn’t be with him. Knowing you had to hurt him hurt you more, another dagger slipping into your heart.

There was a frenzied knock at the door, ‘Doc?! What’s going on you ok?!’ The knocking turned to pounding. ‘I’m gonna kick the door in if you don’t answer!’ The familiar Scottish voice seeped through the cracks in the door. ‘Ok! Ok! I’m … I’m coming.’ As you rose to your feet you unlocked the door and opened it. A worried Soap barged in looking for whatever made you scream so loud. ‘What was that?! Are you alright hen?’ He extended his arms and brought you in to his embrace, it was warm, comforting.

You pushed away from him, fresh tears welled up in your eyes. ‘I’m fine Johnny.’ He raised an eyebrow ‘dont bullshit me. You’re not fine, what’s going on?’ You sighed and took a seat on the clinic bed, your head hung in your hands. ‘I’m not a good person Johnny’ you whispered. He took your hand in his before using his other to raise your chin to look at him. ‘Bollocks. You are a good person …’ before he could continue you shook out of his grip. ‘I’m not Johnny. You may think you like me. But you don’t know me. I’m not good enough for you.’ He cocked his head ready to interject but you cut him off. ‘Johnny, please. You deserve better than me. I’m broken and while you think you can fix me, you can’t.’

He took a seat next to you ‘you’re scaring me Doc. Where has this come from?’

You placed your hand on his cheek ‘you’re too good for this earth Johnny you know that?’ Smiling up at him. ‘But we can’t be together, I’m going through some shit. The other week was amazing, like incredible, but I shouldn’t have initiated it knowing I didn’t want anything. I’m sorry.’ You could pin point the exact moment his heart shattered, though he’d never tell you know that. ‘Please don’t ask me why Johnny. I just can’t.’ He glanced away from you, hurt.

You stood up and placed yourself in front of him cupping his jaw. You placed a small peck on his lips ‘I understand if you don’t want to be around me for a while. You’re an amazing guy Johnny. You’ll make someone very happy one day.’ Despite the sadness in his eyes he held your hand as he brushed his thumb over your knuckles. ‘Couldn’t keep me away if you tried. Come here.’ He stood and pulled you into a hug again, he squeezed you tight, offering you that reassurance you desperately needed. ‘Can’t say I’m not sad, but I understand. And if you change your mind you know where I am.’

‘Johnny’ you groaned. He laughed releasing you from his embrace ‘I’m jokin darlin. But as your friend you know where I am. I don’t want this to affect our friendship.’ You offered him a pathetic smile ‘I’d like that Johnny.’ With that he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and left. Leaving you alone in the clinic once more.

You spent the rest of the day flitting around the clinic, blood test here, stitches and bandages there. The end of your shift grew near, you longed for your bed. The conservation with Soap replayed over and over, and boy did you feel like a piece of shit. Tears stabbed the backs of your eyes all shift, you felt exhausted from having to bottle up your emotions.

Finally you finished up and you made your way back to your room. On entering you flicked on the light, the dull orange glow filled the empty space. Feeling somewhat dazed you went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Looking at yourself in the mirror you let out a melancholic sigh.

You’re a piece of shit.

Look at you.

Worthless.

Everything is your fault.

You’ll always be alone.

No one could ever love you.

You thoughts ran wild, the tears started to fall. You took off your boots and stepped into the shower, the water hot enough to just burn your skin. Because that’s what you deserved. You deserved to be hurt and punished for how you treated Soap. You’re a bad person. This is how you would self-harm at home, where no one could see your tears, the red patches on your skin. It was your secret.

Slumping against the wall fully clothed you allowed yourself to sob. Deep sorrowful sobs, your eyes weighted shut from the sheer force of the tears. Your clothes stuck to you as the water singed your skin. Good. This is what you deserved. You curled your legs into your chest, wrapping your arms around them. As your sobs echoed out into your room you heard a faint noise of footsteps. Stifling your sobs you lifted your head up, only to be met with a dark silhouette standing before you.

‘You look like shit.’

[iguessitsjustme]

Be My Favorite - Ep 4 Thoughts

I couldn’t watch this yesterday so I’m watching it today and this is probably the last one of these I’ll do. Honestly, I am wholly uninterested in the outcome of this story but here I am seeing if episode 4 changes that though based on what I’ve heard from the most reliable of sources, probably not. ANYWAY time to watch:

-I do still like the opening song. It seriously makes me nostalgic for watching earlier BLs. I like it enough that I slow it back down to watch the opening but speed it back up once it’s done.

-MAX. 

-I want Max’s hair. 

-Is this a tiny bit of self reflection from Kawi? I never would have guessed. 

-My watching has been paused because my older brother has sent me a ten minute long YouTube video of furbies and he’s really going through it right now so I gotta watch and anyway pray for my soul

-This just in: I hate my older brother good god. Okay back to BMF

-Just give Kawi the juice he asked for. Don’t make him drink if he doesn’t want to. 

-This is dumb. I would not give up my bag for this. I’d absolutely refuse to let someone else carry my bag for me. 

-I also wouldn’t participate in throwing someone in a pool. That’s so dangerous and if someone did that to me, I’d never forgive them. Pear is the only person that seems horrified. As she should be. Bless her. 

-This hijab is GORGEOUS:

-Also the girl that wears the hijab is the reason I know Kawi is so full of his own shit and only cares about his own self pity. Because one of the first things that happened in this show was her inviting him to have lunch with her and some classmates. But Kawi was so busy being all “boohoo” I don’t have friends that he missed his chance. And yeah I get that he couldn’t afford it but he could have said he’ll catch the next one or even talked to them once after that. They’re also students so they probably either also can’t afford much or know someone else who can’t. Anyway Kawi is literally surrounded by kind people but let his own shame say they were judging him when what they were actually doing is inviting him out. I’m glad in this episode he’s participating with the class even if it’s only to get close to Pear. Baby steps I suppose. 

-I hate these guys. I’m not Kawi’s biggest fan but he shouldn’t be forced to confess something if he’s not ready and also that was not (lol) Not’s secret to tell. These to need to tippity tap back into the business that pays them and get their noses out of Kawi’s. 

-I know why that friend group bothers me so much. They just peer pressure Kawi because they can and he’s easy to pressure into things. Kawi is surrounded by genuinely the kindest hearts and tenderest souls but managed to join the only friend group full of assholes. Kawi should not trust his own judgement of people. 

-Max is a real one. 

-NOT THE GUITAR. At least this is just friends chilling and singing and not sing your feelings. This I can handle. Except I still hate Not. 

-The biggest victim of this show is Pear. 

-Kawi is not good at small talk. ARE THESE BITCHES LISTENING IN. BRB I GOTTA GO MURDER SOME PEOPLE

-Pear, that was such a gentle rejection while still being straightforward. 

-I could deal without this losing virginity scene. Kawi is too immature to be drinking like this and considering losing his virginity. To someone like Kawi, losing his virginity is probably important and if he loses it this night, while drunk, he’s gonna regret it and feel awful about it. 

-This show feels like Pisaeng is dealing with internalized homophobia and trying (and failing) to repress feelings for his straight friend. 

-I fucking love Pear. I also love her friend. I hope they end up together. 

-I am officially interested enough to watch the next episode. But to be clear, my main interest in this show is Pear, who is just simply the best. 

[hekateinhell]

Glad to have shown up if your hour of need babes!! My DA senses were tingling and I couldn't ignore it. So. The betrayal is the most Armandstat coded shit I've ever seen lmao. Lestat tells a Rolling Stone journalist (who senses the UST between them and asks him about it) that everything between them is "make believe" and basically acting on his part to create a narrative, not "real life", he loves Louis etc. And the reporter (who's staying at the same hotel where Armand lives, The Chateau Marmont ofc), tells him about it and it enrages Armand who in turn tells the reporter about Lestat's stunt in rehab/past drug addiction. Then Armand sees Lestat at a party and tells him, "I have to tell you a secret. I think you're the most brilliant person I've ever met... besides me" ("does anyone else know the size of your soul?"). But before this happens they actually kiss in the parking lot. Lestat goes home to find Louis and their daughter sleeping in bed. Louis is definitely sure something's up now so he goes out on his own and ends up sleeping with Lestat's bandmate lmaoo this is a mess. The RS article comes out and turns out that to prevent the journalist from writing about Lestat missing his daughter's birth because he was too coked out to show up, he told him about Armand's current drug addiction. All this while they're still writing songs about each other. Lestat apologizes to Louis and says "history is what happened, not what almost happened" (ouch but... yeah). Armand fucks off to Greece. 3 episodes left and I feel like them not fucking is killing the vibe but YEAH.

Rocket Queen IS absolutely a Lestat/Armand song. A lot of 80's glam rock hits feel just like them 🤧🤧🤧 "groupie AU ties into them producing a vintage porno film together for 'promotional shock purposes'" oh my godddd YES, with them having to have sex in front of everyone while they make each other feel things they've never felt before. And it also fits into the "this is strictly business, no feelings" narrative that is clearly bullshit but they're too in denial to realize.

omg I'm dying lmao what the fuck 💀💀💀 that's so messy, that's so L/A... I'm devastated by proxy.

HISTORY IS NOT!!! WHAT ALMOST HAPPENED!!! How could you/they? 😭

[And it also fits into the "this is strictly business, no feelings" narrative that is clearly bullshit but they're too in denial to realize.] Exactly, you bet that's something that gets thrown in someone's face in the middle of an argument: "I did it for the money; I would've done it with anybody!" RIP. 😔

Love and appreciate this tweet fic style journey you just took us on. 🖤 Wish I had more to contribute but The Cramps Horrors are dominating me right now and every second is pain and I wish I was dead.

Hoping and praying I can get the 'Rocket Queen' one-shot posted by summer, I've been thinking about it far too long. 🥹💖 (I was also considering that title for an AU where 1981 younger reporter!Daniel picks up sex worker!Armand off a street in West Hollywood but instead of sex, he wants to interview him. And then promptly falls in love, etc etc, you know the drill).

Bonus music rec: T. Rex's 'Ballroom of Mars' is an excellent L/A vibe imo.

*disclaimer: y'all please don't make me regret sharing my WIP ideas lmao or I never will again and then what 🤧

[aelfgiure]

I'd decided to just accept it, now that it had happened. Look, I'd been told over and over and fucking OVER again how I was a disappointment to the family. Not to mention a blot on our xenophobic society, oh yes, and an affront to god.

That kind of shit will break your brain after a while, and my terminal shatterpoint hit me when I was a young teen, sobbing into my pillow because I'd fought off an assault attempt from the minister's son, and been beaten for 'temping a Good Boy into sinning'. So, there I was, broken in heart and body, and my mind just lit the fuck up with a rage so hot and powerful it felt like lava was coursing through my body and I swore an Oath. On my own blood, on my own tears and snot, and the scraps of his skin still under my nails, I swore that if they were going to condemn me to hell? I was going to fucking own that shit, and go down in style, MY goddamn style, with no more apologies.

Yeah, I accepted damnation that day, and never looked back. It's funny, looking back on it now. Where I was, the way my family was, my defiant leap into perdition began by reading Cosmos all the way through, and taking notes. (It was written by an Evil Ungodly Atheist, and therefore, forbidden knowledge.) Science. Exploration. Other religions, even, and then fiction, I got my ass beaten for reading them. When that didn't stop me they would lock me in my room after taking away everything but a mattress and a bible. Screaming at me, having the ministry pray over me or 'lay hands' on me to drive the evil spirits out. Or starve me, trying to break the spirit of defiance that had possessed me.

My brother made sure school was hell on earth for me by telling everyone that I was crazy and weird and needed to be reminded that nobody likes the weird ones. The teachers looked the other way, of course. Back then, there was no anti-bullying movement, and if I didn't fit in it was my fault.

Once I escaped that hellhole, I went hard into living my life. I traveled, learned multiple languages, worked for the State Department. Over and over again, I questioned every order, every assumption, earning a reputation and more than a few scars physical and emotional.

I didn't really mellow as I aged, it was more like the rest of the world caught up to me, and how I reveled in it! I worked my ass off to build a better world, helped at protests, hid radical organizers from the cops, did pop up food distribution, sabotaged projects that were destructive to people and the planet because FUCK the fuckers in charge, the world belonged to all of us not just the rich greedheads and corporate christians that spewed hate and hypocrisy from both ends.

When that "rubber bullet" bounced juuust wrong at my last protest and shattered my skull, I was surprised to actually be in an Afterlife, facing a demon. So I said my say, and faced them, determined to meet eternity with at least a little dignity.

The demon surprised me. They ushered me into a rather goth parlor, offered me tea. "Little one, please. Relax, your Judge will be here to review your status. For what it's worth, if you do end up assigned here, I'll make sure it's a pleasant stay."

The angel that swept in was a shock, the casual fistbump/backslap between demon and angel was funny and endearing. "Ma'am, your case isn't unique but the way you went about it all was hilarious. Thank you for that.

"Now, let's review first, shall we?"

We went over every part of my life, birth to death, in excruciating detail. I owned it all, only regretting the times I hurt someone through ignorance or carelessness. Everything else? Yeah, fair cop. I was prepared for eternity in hell.

"You've already paid in full, my dear." The angel's voice was like music, full of joy and compassion. "You accepted your fate and used that as an excuse to act like my boss. He was a radical, too, you know. Now you get to choose. Stay on this side, or go back, get reborn, keep up the good fight. It's going to be harder this time around, things are getting surreal out there, gotta warn you.

"Take a break first, think it over a bit. Let us know." The angel kissed my forehead and left, hugging the demon on the way out.

The demon is cheerfully helpful, giving me the guided tour, and said something that tempts me sorely.

"You've earned a break, no lie, kid," their voice was a deep rumble that I could feel as much as hear. "And if you want to stay, I can use you on my team here. But if you go back, you won't go alone. This time, I'm going with you."

“do what you want Demon. no amount of torture will affect me anymore, there’s nothing you can do what Humanity has already done to me in both spirit and body when i was alive”

[rmhashauthor]

WIP it, WIP it good

I'm trying something new with my sci-fi softcore romance, along with my usual ideas about plot-heaviness and experimenting with genre-blending. I've been thinking about this one for a bit and I'm excited to get started, especially since I plan to be waaaay more self-indulgent with it in nearly every aspect. This one leans more into grimdark/space-opera/sci-fi noir, and I want to explore concepts like PTSD and living with mental illness/addiction along with imperialism/colonialism and how individuals tend to slip through the cracks. I also want to play with some tropes I haven't before, like the idea of Big Dick Daddy Energy meets Little Miss Daddy Issues and a mongrel version of Enemies to Lovers that's more like "I spent my whole life trying to avoid Guys Like You and yet you're the only person who makes me feel safe enough to let my guard down and yeah maybe we'll hate-fuck in the utility closet". I'm gonna go to some dark places with this one, mostly for my own entertainment 😋

Enjoy!

No one breathed, even the Dreen barkeep leaned forward over the bar and watched, stippled with orange and yellow flashing pores. The Arakan grinned, “Give it up, stranger – I'll have the little bitch under me tonight, and when she screams I'll be thinking of you.”

“Fifty thousand.” It was a long shot, and his guts knotted as he knew he could go no further. Any more would bankrupt him, and if the Arakan won the woman would be dead by morning; he pushed down the horrible thoughts of her long, dreadful night ahead of he lost. The Arakan was silent and drank again from the bottle, a thin dribble of yellow beer trickling down his chin and bubbling over the tiny breathing holes in his throat. He was doing the math, calculating whether or not to make another bid – and the patron held his breath and prayed. They stared at each other, memorizing height, build and stature as the seconds ticked, and though his helm was blacked out the patron sensed that the Arakan knew his species by his frame – his domed helm, bulky cowl and trousers studded with pockets could only hide so much of his identity.

The Drass barker banged the stage again, “Guys, I need a number. Helmet bids fifty, what's your offer 'Rakan?”

The Arakan flung his empty bottle onto the stage, where it shattered and sprayed green glass over the back wall. The woman jerked her hands up to her face, shielding her eyes and screaming in terror, and the patron swallowed a snarl. He didn't even want her, had no idea what he would do with her if he won, but the idea of this barely-sentient piece of shit having her set something wild inside him. “I yield,” announced the Arakan.

“Sold!” bellowed the Drass barker, “Fifty thousand on Helmet for the human female, go backstage and work out your shit.”

The patron could breathe again. I won... Relief settled over him, and he tossed his plastic card back at the hook-handed Dreen he'd taken it from, mumbling sorry as he worked his way along the front row. Passing the Arakan he reached up and touched the side of his helm in a salute, but the Arakan glared at him and peeled his thin greenish-black lips back from needle-like teeth. “You're going to regret that, Helmet. I always get what I want.”

The patron – the winner of this ugly battle – snorted. “You'll never see me again, fucking reptile.” His helm's modulators warped his voice, rendering it unrecognizable from his real speech; even if he was being recorded, his identity would remain a mystery.

“I'll be keeping an eye out for that human,” the Arakan warned, “if I see her again, she is mine.”

The fuck you will. “If you see her again, it'll be the last thing you see.” The helmeted stranger turned his back on the Arakan, a ballsy move in a dive like this one. If the Arakan tried anything the helm's rear-facing camera would alert him, and as he strode away the Arakan merely faded into the background and shadows of the bar. Should've wiped you sister-fuckers out a long time ago, would've made the galaxy a better place.

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E: Moments - Part 6 - At The Motel (Part 2 | Set in 2020)

Tags: @piratewithvigor@tantamount-treason@thedollmaker16@janetreader

This takes place during Part 3, as a continuation of the last part, leading into Part 4.

Also Kirby is still Orange, Italics are inner thoughts.

"Yeah, or at least the friends I, used to have, Mike, Ashkii, and Yoshi. Ash always had this joke that hanging out with me and Yoshi meant he was 'hanging with the video game girls'. Yoshi would always tell him he was an idiot for saying things like that." Her faint smile makes Eddie want to hold her closer.

"And what about Mike?" Eddie notices her mood shift and instantly regrets the question.

“Me and Mike… we were as close as a guy and girl can be without dating. People would joke that he was Viscera’s son, and I looked like Mideon’s daughter, and we were gonna be the next Ministry of Darkness. I managed him for a while, tried to train him and get him to below three-hundred pounds, but nothing ever worked… in a way it was part of his charm, a guy that didn’t care about impressing me with his physique, no rippling abs or striking bodybuilder poses as I walked by in the gym, just… playing Reggae music and singing along as he watched me put together that night’s plan for after the show.”

"Sounds like a great friend." He rubs her back, holding her closer when she starts tearing up.

"And then one day, Damien decided he wanted me to become 'Gluttony' and my uncles agreed, a seven-to-one vote stripped me, and my Da, of power over my career…" she wipes her eyes, "…I never wanted to be 'Gluttony', I thought it was horrible as a concept. Luring men who were considered 'out of shape' with the power of overindulgence in the consumable… I would never harm anyone's feelings intentionally and yet there I was, night after night, making jokes at my former best friend's expense, no wonder he kicked me out of our flat. I ended up moving back in with my parents, because I knew if I got a new place I couldn't pay the rent, I… I fucked up through no fault of my own." She whispers, her voice cracking as she talks.

Eddie finishes his cigarette and leads Kirby inside. C'mon kid, let's get you comfy, they sit on the bed, he whispers words he hopes will reassure her.

"I'm sorry, you probably think I'm a wreck or something." She murmurs.

Eddie shakes his head and kisses her forehead gently, "You're not a wreck, you're a kid, who grew up in the wrestling world and never learnt how," he searches for the right word, "tough, the business could be because your dad protected you. How about, I go get us lunch in the car, you stay here and rest. I'll be back before you wake up from your nap, I promise."

"You promise you're not just leaving forever?"

Part of Eddie's heart breaks when the words reach his ears, immediately taking her face in his hands and trying to hide the hurt in his voice, "I promise on my mother's eyes." he whispers, fully meaning his promise to come back.

His eyes linger on Kirby's frame as he gets up and leaves, biting his lip to stop himself from telling her all the compliments she needs to hear from someone, mentally praying that when he comes back he can say every single one of them to her.

Eddie leaves to get them some Chinese food, coming back and setting up their meal at the table, slowly realising how he's set the table up makes it look like he's trying to feed her just to fuck her. Shit, I should change how this looks. He hears Kirby yawn and panics.

"I promise you it's not what it looks like!"

Kirby shrugs, groggily telling Eddie, "It looks like a conversation set up, two chairs opposite each other, food… perhaps a pint of Guinness? Maybe a can of beer?" She gets up and Eddie gets a view of her underwear.

"Well, it's not everyday I see a sight like that," He chuckles, momentarily falling silent as he looks at her cleavage, wow I guess everything is bigger on a giant damn, "If you want me let me know it." He winks when Kirby looks at him.

"Did you just-"

"Quote Red Light Special, yup."

"Oh thank fuck, I thought your dick had made you go on autopilot to flirt with me."

Eddie stifles a laugh, "You don't have a lot of experience with men, do ya?"

Kirby rubs her left foot against the back of her right shin, "Wrestling them, yes. Socialising with them, no." She admits.

Eddie smirks but tries to hide it from Kirby, "Well, usually a guy will tell a girl they like them, either by actually sayin' somethin' or their body will tell the girl, I think you know how that stuff works though."

Kirby nods, "Oh trust me, I have seen plenty of jean crotches being adjusted or covered by men."

Part of Eddie's mind remembers that Kirby's been wrestling since she was 15 and hates men and another part of him knows that he would have to adjust his crotch if he saw her wrestling in anything close to her underwear's level of coverage, "See, jeans can hide it. Just get baggy enough jeans and the problem sorts itself out. Sweatpants, however, they give everything away." He explains as he sits on the bed next to her.

"Why are we talking about how to hide a stiffy?"

The word 'Stiffy' alone makes Eddie blush as he realises he's thinking about erections in relation to seeing Kirby nearly naked.