#pray forgive my rambles oTL

[paintedscales]

... I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about how I see my ship and how it evolved over time. Because I didn't ship them at all in the beginning.

TL;DR -> Shit was really complicated in the beginning, but the more time went on, the more the two of them really meshed well together in the narrative that I had for my character. AND the NPC turned into one of my favorite characters over everyone else I'd gotten to know by Endwalker, bar none.

I actually really hated Estinien in ARR and HW. He was just... really grating to me. Like, don't get me wrong, he was a brilliant foil to Ysayle and even Alphinaud in some situations at the time.

But like, back then, he was incredibly edgy. Edgy with a tragic backstory, all up to having his, 'uh oh, I'm the villain' moment. Twice.

Genuinely was in the camp of "if he dies, he dies." when I neared the end of HW. Really didn't care.

Then... there's just a really nice beauty to the character growth going forward from the short story from Stormblood that leads into the events of the patch content of Shadowbringers, and then into Endwalker itself that I felt more in tune with when I finally allowed myself to see the character more fully after letting my emotions just stand the hell out of the way.

But! This isn't entirely about my personal feelings. Granted, some of my personal feelings were, at the time, projected onto my character.

All things considered, replaying the ARR Dragoon questline and kind of getting reacquainted with Estinien's character and the events thereof, there's really just a juxtaposition of where I feel Nomin and Estinien were at the time and the things they had experienced in their lifetime that led them to where they stood before each other at their first meeting.

(I want to note that even if I've done the DRG questline and kind of reference it, I see Nomin more having helped out with Alberic's issues as a trusted ally of Eorzea because Nomin is not a fellow Azure Dragoon; she is an Archer and then becomes a Red Mage once she is told about how the Red Mage's focus works and is able to use it with relative ease; but maybe the Eye still reacts to her, knows and feels her pain, her deep seated and buried hatred of the Jhungid)

Both of them are orphans. Both of them had terrible and scarring things happen to them when they were kids -- and they had to bear that weight. They made decisions when they were young wrought of vengeance, anger, and despair. Estinien came back to his home burning -- his family murdered in a vengeful razing. Nomin watched her brother-figure struck down before her before she was kidnapped and subjugated alongside other of the Sagahli tribe members she knew to train and fight a battle she had no desire to fight... or die because she didn't comply.

The difference being that Nomin ran away from the Steppe to avoid being reclaimed by the Jhungid once she escaped... and Estinien actively chose to face that which created his hatred and ire head on. There was a sense of envy and resentment that Nomin had for Estinien in the beginning... and perhaps she even pitied him for not being able to move on. But I think more than that, she saw a mirror of herself in Estinien -- what she could have been, what she avoided becoming.

With Ishgard's views on the au ra people from what can be gleaned in the Dark Knight quest and the flavor text we're presented with when it pertains to the Orl in general, I don't see Estinien regarding Nomin favorably. Like, maybe he has a respect for her and her power, but I do feel like her features would certainly be a hurdle to overcome on a kind of surface level till they are made to travel more together in Heavensward and his views ultimately change by the end of the expansion.

In response, Nomin is just... so very tired and irritated with Estinien a lot of the time in HW. She doesn't want to be around him. She believes that their venture and mission would be easier without him. But, she's wanting to do right by Alphinaud and Tataru -- right by the other Scions -- right by House Fortemps and the whole of Ishgard -- right by Ysayle. So she puts up with it. She puts up with him and his infuriating attitude, only finding rare moments of solace or agreement in his presence more oft than not.

And then he's on the brink of death after being used as a complete vessel for Nidhogg. Death, death, and more death have followed Nomin in this pursuit of peace, in this pursuit of helping make things right. The fear of death of the other Scions is still a thought in her mind (even if she finds out that they're mostly okay aside from Minfilia, which, like... still ouch?), Moenbryda -- for as fleeting as their overall meeting and getting to know one another was, Haurchefant, then Ysayle... deep wounds of loss for not just her, but Alphinaud -- especially Alphinaud, who she's honestly starting to feel some sense of maternal instinct over. She doesn't want him to experience more loss, more hurt, more pain.

So she doesn't want Estinien to be another facet of loss for Alphinaud. She knows how much he means to him at this point, and despite her mixed feelings that mostly bordered on the side of negative, she put everything into helping Estinien because she wanted him to be okay for Alphinaud. She wanted him alive for Alphinaud's sake.

I had the thought that, while he's being cared for by the chirurgeons, that she visited him after the initial time she, Aymeric, and Alphinaud had visited and brought him some gifts as a show of good faith. But, it was also a good opportunity for her to actually speak with him without much of an audience present, as well as without the notion of him getting up and leaving.

"... I hope we can be friends, Estinien. Because while I know we both care for Alphinaud like his is a brother to us both... I know not where we find ourselves at the end of this chapter in our lives. Putting an end to the Dragonsong War. I know know one thing, however... and it is that I know I'd be sad if I lost you, too."

That is what Nomin left Estinien to mull over before his escape from the infirmary to tend to his own whims and wishes till it is told to Nomin that Estinien had plucked her from the battlefield of Ghimlyt Dark. She can even vaguely recall talking to Estinien in moments of delirium, but most of it had been handwaved as a dream before being told by Aymeric the situation as it had happened.

So with that lingering in her mind on more than one occasion, even while doing things on the First, coming back to the Source with everyone else, and reconvening with Estinien was kind of one of those punches to the gut where Nomin realized, "... I think... I'm starting to actually grow fond of his company."

AND THEN IT WAS ALL OVER IN ENDWALKER WITH HIS HIMBO ENERGY AND A SIDE OF HIM SHE NEVER REALLY SAW. She really got to become closer to Estinien in Endwalker as well as get to know him more -- even finally being able to consider him a friend. It was over x2 when he came to visit her in her room and speak to her, and speak to her plainly his thoughts and how he felt. Like, she was utterly confounded by this sudden shift in wearing his heart on his sleeve.

for people who ship their oc with an npc: did you decide to ship them with your OC because they were a favorite character of yours OR because you felt that npc genuinely went well with your OC? I'm really curious!

[merakiui]

OMG WAIT YOU KNOW OF REVERSE:1999 TOO?! Please tell me you also see what I see with Mr. Forget Me Not. He gives off Azul vibes so much like omg. The sly cockiness and how he commands the room and just-

I would not mind joining Manus Vandictae if I got to see him more. Picture you join and get assigned as his “assistant” but your work is not the normal assistant type. Helping Mr. forget Me Not more personally ya know?

I DO!!!! :D I started playing recently and I'm so obsessed. I love the aesthetics and story and designs and characters and ost and and and AAAAAAAAA. If anyone who plays would like to add me as a friend, please feel free to do so!!! I'm fairly new, so please excuse my beginner level. orz but I would like to have friends!!!

That aside, I'm not very far into the story and so I have yet to encounter the character you named. But I looked him up online and................... WOW. I'M SO IN LOVE???????????? OBSESSED AND RABID. THE CIRCULAR GLASSES FRAMES. I LOVE THIS STYLE OF GLASSES (GloMas Azul.............). I CAN SEE THE VISION. He does have this very Azul-esque feeling to him.... this feeling of sly, smooth businessman...

And his name being Forget Me Not,,,,, flower symbolism is flashing in my mind omg!!!!! I will never forget him. He could do a lot of things to make me never forget him. 😵‍💫 AND THEN HE HAS POINTED FANGS WHEN HE SMILES?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?! AND HE'S JUST AN NPC?!?!?!?!?!? CRYING SOBBING HOWLING AT THE MOON. HE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT TO ME. HIM AND I...... WE ARE LOVERS. OTL

Helping him personally...... I need to wipe that smirk off his face and make him cry and sob and moan like a babygirl!!!!!!! I pray he has a shred of pathetic in him, but then if he's a little mean and condescending... >:) the type to choke you with his dick when he's fucking your throat raw and then coo down at you like "aww, is it too much?" type of mean!!!!!!!!

;;;;;; uwuwuwaaaa forgive my insane ramblings. Forget Me Not makes me feel as if I've just seen man for the first time and maybe this is true. I forgot a man could look this good until I met him and he reminded me. <3