#ppl really want media analysis to die i guess

[sasukeofcolor]

Remember when the characters in Tokyo Revengers would just lie to us. When Mikey lied about who the founders were. When Hakkai lied about protecting Yuzuha. When Mikey lied in the recorded video to Takemichi. When Sanzu lied to Mucho about following him. When Draken lied to Takemichi that Mikey worked overseas. There are so many things in the story that are told one way but just don't seem true. Did Mikey actually kill people in the manila timeline? How is Shin a weak king but so freakishly strong? The Bonten timeline was about a fake happiness. It appeared that people were better off but when we got a look closer look, many carried regrets and were not whole. We were supposed to question character motives and what was actually true in a story where we couldn't rely on the characters to tell us things properly. But now we just have to take everything at face value? We can't question the way the story decided to wrap up? The whole Black Dragon arc was about deception and WHY people lie and put up a front and act as if their life isn't what it actually is. Being able to question media is literally a core part of interacting with it, stop pretending it's not.

[doberbutts]

I'm personally not gonna watch ROP unless I can pirate it - but also, I'm bad at getting around to media I want to watch. I've had the Matrix trilogy on my watch list for nearly five years and just haven't gotten to it. But I genuinely do boycott Amazon. I don't order shit online that I can do without or that I can buy at a store. It's less convenient, but I really hate how dependent our society is on online shopping & streaming content.

I also have strong opinions on adaptations (a huge special interest of mine) that deviate too much from the spirit of the source material, but since this isn't a direct adaptation of any of Tolkien's works -- just sorta set in his world -- I have less of a chip on my shoulder about it. Though, I did refuse to watch The Hobbit movies on principle.

That said, I'm over here like... if I had to guess, I'd say ROP is probably pretty good, or at least decent, all things considered. The Amazon shows that I have seen haven't been bad at all. Well written, well paced... And personally, I'm happy about the diversity bc I get very very fucking tired of seeing all white or mostly white casts, especially in the fantasy genre. Not only is it not interesting, but it's usually a sign that the writers are just racist & exclusionary.

So I guess my general feelings are: I understand why some people might not like the show just on premise alone, particularly the book enthusiasts. I'm sick of big budget remakes too, and I think the Peter Jackson films set a high bar for a lot of folks. Ofc, there are definitely racists who are Bigg Madd about black elves, and they can all die mad. I personally think Amazon is a scourge & I wish more ppl were dedicated to boycotting it (or at least reducing its importance in their lives) & that is my reason for not immediately watching ROP, so I think that's an extremely valid stance. But I'd watch it if I could do so without supporting Amazon & if I could ever dedicate time to sitting down for it.

And all THAT to say, I don't trust anyone's opinion about media they haven't seen. Even if their reasons for not interacting with it are valid. If they don't have the full context of the show, how are they gonna form an informed opinion about it? I wanna see the critical analysis work (because I'm a dork).

Sorry this got so long! I just have feelings about it. 😅 And tone isn't easy for me, so if it wasn't clear, I totally support your frustration with people's half baked opinions on the show & see how that's suspicious. I'm just here trying to represent the folks who genuinely aren't interested in supporting Amazon in a non-hypocritical way. I'll shut up now tho. Cheers~

This is another long ask that I think would be better as a reblog and rehashes a lot of the same things I've been saying so I'm just gunna pull one thing out and that is:

I don't trust anyone's opinions about media they haven't [experienced]. Because that's really the heart of it. I feel that way for any entertainment I interact with- I trust no one's opinions about something they've never watched or read or played. I see joyless takes about trailers for things that aren't even out and won't be out for at least a year and I'm like damn, you're so fucking boring. It's not even out yet, how do you even know if it'll be bad? Do you have any actual concerns about it or are you just parroting the masses and formed your opinion before giving it a fair try?

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[hordakin]

On the Subject of Hordak, His Parallels with Catra, His Bond with Entrapta, and the Possibility of Him Getting a Redemption Arc

Obviously this is a subject of MUCH controversy within the Spop fandom, and I'm probably just going to stir up even more issues, but the aforementioned things are subjects i find INCREDIBLY fascinating and dammit I want to talk about it, because as usual (almost*) everyone else is glancing over it and not giving it all the in depth analysis it deserves.

Just a preface, my 'screenshots' are probably going to be absolutely hideous because I do not have the time nor the resources to get high quality ones--sooo I'm just taking pictures with my phone!

I'm no good at keeping my posts organized, so please forgive any other messiness as well--I'm hyperfixated and filled with frantic energy.

Lets start out simply with the Juiciest meat on the bone--Hordak's Could-Be Redemption Arc!

This is the topic that has the most people in a tizzy--for completely valid reasons, to be fair! Hordak, as of right now, is a horrible person. There's no skirting over it, there's no sugar coating it, he's a grade A piece of shit manipulative dictator, and things he's done are unforgivable.

What joy it is, then, that being forgiven has absolutely nothing to do with redemption!!!

Redemption is about changing your ways, and doing what you can to FIX or make up for the villainous things you've done--NOT being forgiven for them, which is what seems to be the hang up for a lot of people who are against the idea of a Hordak redemption arc, the people who don't like his sympathetic backstory.

I've seen more than a few posts of people Screaming in fury, proclaiming their anguish and disgust that the writers are trying to make them """forgive""" Hordak, when.... That's. Literally not what the writers are doing. They are just giving a character a backstory and human characteristics. So he'll be relatable. You know, like characters in media are SUPPOSED to be. Funny how that works, right?

Anyway, his frustrates me immensely, especially when these are the same people still pushing for a Catra redemption arc (to be fair, i am still one of those people too, but her choices in the last season have severely lowered my enthusiasm and hopes for it. There’s a long, tiring road ahead of her, as well as for us as an audience, if she is going to be redeemed at all). It frustrates me because of Hordak and Catra's lifestory parallels. These people act as if they are leagues different, when they really... Really aren't. If Catra still deserves redemption because she was abused into thinking the way she does, then so does Hordak, because he was obviously abused too.

The way I see it, Catra is like... A younger Hordak. Hordak right before and during Prime discovering his defects and sending him off to die. For a lot of season 1 and 2, she was in her prime in regards to her standing as a member of the Horde. She became force captain, and she did her work well, just as Hordak had once been Horde Prime's top general--but then they showed some kind of weakness, some kind of incompetence, and then they were cast away;

And it doesn't even stop there! Because right after being exiled, guess what they both do? They take over and begin to Rule the local denizens of the place they were exiled to--Hordak forms the Etherian Horde, and Catra takes one look at the Crimson Waste gangs and says "My City Now".

The main differences I see between Hordak and Catra are, Firstly, their friendships. The bonds they've formed (and broken) during the series (as well as if/how they changed them).

Hordak --

Total number of friends, past and present: 2 or 3 (Entrapta and Imp, 3 if you count Emily)

How much he values them: given his tract record of abandoning and belittling people, he doesn't belittle or mistreat Entrapta or Imp, in fact openly showing affection for/praising both of them rather openly--which is to say, he must value them a lot.

How he treats them: like i said up there--with open praise, affection, and respect. He takes care to never actually harm or yell at them in a way that targets them--when he yells or snaps, its not because hes mad at them, its because of something else. On top of that, he keeps it limited--he does not go on rants. He shouts his bit, takes a breath, then turns around and asks them to leave. Which is something i guarantee EVERY person on the face of the earth has done before. Ppl lose their tempers, it's normal, and does NOT make them abusive.

Catra --

Total number of friends, past and present: 6 or 8 (Adora, Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio, Scorpia, Entrapta, and 8 if you count Kyle 2 and her four armed Lizard friend)

How much she values them: this is tough one. Clearly, her main priority is Adora--shes Catra's endgame Bestie, the person she really WANTS to be friends with the most. She puts effort into her relationship with Adora. Second comes Scorpia--Scorpia is very slowly weaseling her way into Catra's heart, and it shows, especially on this last season. Catra starts to show more vulnerability around her, and they have more emotionally charged interactions, that clearly have a positive impact on Catra. Catra is BEGGINING to put effort into her friendship with Scorpia, but it is a s l o w process. Everyone else.... Catra frankly couldn't give less of a shit about. They're an ontourage to her, not friends. But they see her as their friend. She doesn't put any effort there--everyone else does.

How she treats them: just like i said above again. She doesn't not care about most of her relationships. She fixates on one or two, and leaves the others in the dust until she has a use for them, because she doesn't see them as friends, she sees them as lackeys.

Secondly, another difference is their motivations and the choices they make because of them.

While they were both originally seeking recognition and praise from their superiors--Hordak trying to take over Etheria for Horde Prime to prove he's still useful despite his defects, and Catra...:

And then, after that, the Shadow Weaver issue comes to Catra’s attention, and Catra’s Motivation shifts COMPLETELY, because she hasn’t been given the time she needs to heal and let go of that portion of her baggage.

--I’m losing shitloads of eloquently worded paragraphs sharing my points over and over again so I’ve moved to desktop now because i am NOT giving up on sharing this, let me try again, sorry if it suddenly feels offtrack, i swear the connections are still there--

Now that their current motivations are in play, let’s talk about how their CHOICES (and their friendships) tell us which of them is more ripely suited to a redemption arc at this point in the series.

Hordak makes a friend. This is most likely the first friend he has EVER truly had, but they make it work, because they have similar interests and there is no sense of hierarchy between them--She is very clearly not afraid of him, and he is long past trying to make her afraid. She doesn’t push him to be better, no--She thinks he’s fine the way he is. She has no desire to ‘fix him’, because she doesn’t see anything wrong with him being a ‘bad guy’. However, I will say that (albeit unintentionally) she is... Gently nudging him towards being neutral. Hordak’s goal since day one has been to contact Horde Prime, because he likely had been brainwashed or indoctrinated to believe that there WAS no other option than to do so. Seek approval, and nothing else. “For the Horde” and nothing else. Because he hasn’t fully realized... That Horde Prime can’t touch him. He’s like... A young adult, who just moved out of his parents house--You know the posts! He’d become so accustomed to the lifestyle he had before, that now when he goes shopping and thinks “Hey I want ice cream for breakfast tomorrow!” he deflates and walks on to the veggies aisle because of the parental voice telling him “You can’t have ice cream for breakfast” in his head, but now... The parent isn’t there. He CAN have ice cream for breakfast, it just hasn’t hit him yet. Then, Entrapta shows up. “For science!” she says, and Hordak probably quirks his eyebrow, because she is odd, and thats an odd thing to say--but that, right there, is the little thing that starts to help him realize that, ‘hey.... Horde Prime isn’t here. I can do anything I want!’ And tat Anything can easily include turning around and becoming a better person.

Catra makes a new friend. Catra has had many friends before, at least one of which she cared about VERY deeply, who has since then left and moved on to other friends. She tried to get Catra to follow her to the better, healthier side of life that she’s found, to make friends with the other people too--but Catra refused, and it would not be a stretch to say it was because of jealousy/possessive feelings. Catra is like that toxic friend who lurks on the social media of someone who’s cut them off, simultaneous seething with anger and looking for reasons to hate them, while also vying for the chance to be friends with them again, and go back to the way things ‘used to be’. Now, she has that new friend, who cares about her just as much if not MORE than the last friend did--she sees how Catra wallows in self pity and negative emotions over the last friend, and how unhappy it’s really making her. Scorpia wants to help her move past that--to live her life free from the reigns of her past, and to embrace the happiness that other, new parts of life can give her. But Catra. Doesn’t. Listen. She doesn’t care. She sees the possibility of happiness, dips her toes into it (Crimson Waste party), but then decides “No, I don’t want this. I’d rather be spiteful. I’d rather be vengeful. I’d rather be unhappy, and I want everyone else to be unhappy too.”

People get so mad that Hordak is a trying to take over Etheria, trying to RULE over everyone on it--They call him ‘genocidal’ even though, by definition, he’s literally not--and demand that people admit how bad he is because of it, as if we weren’t already. Yet... The only people I see condemning Catra for doing something SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE for just as selfish a reason, is most notably NOT those people demanding we condemn Hordak left and right. The hypocrisy is extremely thick in this fandom right now--let’s leave it at that.

Point is; As of right now in canon, Catra is LITERALLY a worse person than Hordak, and when you really look at their actions, it’s easy to see that there are many more realistic and easy ways for Hordak to be redeemed than their are for Catra, and that’s the fuckin’ tea!

[asiryn]

this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience] 

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into. 

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly. 

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that. 

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time. 

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3 

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5 

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

[misterbitches]

Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.

It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)

They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.

I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.

I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.

I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!

People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???

I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.

But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.

Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)

So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)

Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.

I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.

Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.

However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking

(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)

So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.

Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.