#pov: dating homelander

[starsunfirelight]

Extra content

here, you can have the content I would have put on my "patreon" because I can't get over "Arc 21: Shady Business ft. Arctic Monkeys"

me reacting to the playlist:

in real time, took 4 days or so

Now, onto the actual playlist!!

Arc 1: The honeymoon phase

Note, I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, and didn’t really start to do that until I got to the Lana songs. Also, some of the lyrics were not available through Spotify. But it’s ok to summarize the playlist arcs, or this would be really long lol.

(We know that in this pov, the person dating Homelander is a woman, as I presume Homelander is aggressively nationalist American, for the memes, but also because of songs you’ll see later on) Here, the girl, and Homelander are just having a great time. They have just started dating, and they listen to classically American songs, as is reminiscent of Homelander’s character. Though, there is a message within the patriotic songs that this isn’t right, with the song “Tainted Love”. Crucified has a message of “I know this isn’t right, but leave me alone.” We’ll see Christian imagery come up time and time again. This goes on for a while. All the way up until Layla, I imagine. Here, we see a shift, as this song still has that classic American feel, but it has no lyrics. Perhaps, this is where the girl starts to have a shift in mood.

Arc 2: Trouble in Paradise

The musics stops being highkey energetic, and is more lowkey.

Here, with GOLDWING, we get a song telling someone to remain pure and untraumatized, as the interpretation on Genius reads. This could be a message to Homelander, as the girl naïvely thinks that the critics are all wrong, and Homelander should stay just the way he is. It could also, and I think this is the more likely interpretation, be a message to the girl dating Homelander to please stop seeing him, as things could go bad real soon, if she doesn’t get out.

Lana Del Rey!

In the Lana Del Rey section, the girl is just dating Homelander, I think.

She - Harry Styles

This song talks about a man who is working, and has a normal life, though he seems unhappy, and wishes he could just get away from it all, if he had the chance. While the woman, who we can assume is his wife, is dreaming about having an affair with the singer of the song. Harry later goes on to say that the man plays pretend, so it’s possible that Harry is the one who is dreaming of an affair with her, while she may not reciprocate those feelings.

In the context of this playlist, it could mean that either Homelander or the girl doesn’t really love the other, and is just “playing pretend”. Again, with the themes of urging “get out, while you still can. This isn’t right.” Everything may look ok on the surface, but it’s all not really real on the inside.

Judas

Judas is known to be a traitor in the bible. Yet, he’s a big Christian figure. So here, I think the girl laments her love for a big, powerful figure, knowing that it’s wrong but she can’t help it. The song is also dark, musically. Perhaps, this song is talking about her love for a woman, though she is dating Homelander.

Legendary Lovers

This song is the thought of the two together, and what should be, due to how powerful Homelander is, and so together they would be unstoppable. Perhaps this is from Homelander’s perspective. Perhaps the girl is trying so hard to let go of her thoughts, and be with Homelander. Or she’s cheating with a girl?

Killshot

Same theme of I know it’s wrong, but love me anyways, the other person being a powerful figure?

Yeah it’s very Homelander, is prob Homelander she’s talking to

The whole can’t stop thinking about you theme

Sweet to Dream

This is a slower song. It’s been slowing a bit, but this is slow.

Same theme as before, but now going to sleep.

It’s night now.

Things are good.

Prob a transition song

(could be thinking about the girl at the end of the day)

Act 3: Please don’t leave me

go go dancer

Genius says that this song means that she’s just the convenient option, not the real love

So here, we have the apparent theme, that the girl loves Homelander, but Homelander isn’t really interested, and she kinda wishes for something more

Also introduces lore that the girl is rich

Which, like how else is she dating Homelander??? lol

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

When I was down / I was your clown

This is a similar theme as the last song, except now she’s explicitly asking Homelander not to break her heart. I assume the gender of the singer doesn’t really matter, here?

Don’t leave me, and I won’t leave you for the girl?Mama’s Boy

Ok, now, she’s starting to see the bad side of Homelander

Or is she?

Is this from Homelander’s perspective?

If not, it’s like I wish I could be perfect for you, because you’re perfect? I care about you, why won’t you care about me? My parents don’t care about me.

Also, the song is kinda… ominous and haunting. Is some thing bad about ti happen? Is he about to leave her? You know, since she’s/he’s toxic? Idk who’s the toxic one here, but I guess both??? Though Homelander is like REALly toxic, to be fair.

Lore: girl is rich but has neglectful parents? Who don’t love her that much? I guess that makes sense, as to how she got into this situation in the first place.

WAIT, is this about a relationship in the show??

And this is describing that???

oh.

Ehh, guess I can keep going regardless.

Act 4: Homelander’s perspective

Super Freak

The girl, from Homelander’s perspective

“boys in the band” how can the reference be so good

Also the tone of the song sounds like Homelander

Homelander has no issue using her like a toy

That’s probably how he sees her

Lore: girl’s a super freak, though that could be exaggerated from Homelander’s perspective

American Beauty/American Psycho

This one’s pretty clearly about Homelander lol

Womanizer

This one too

Does the girl realize by now? Are they having a fight?

Act 5: The other girls tries to win her over

Woman

Nice wordplay from the last song! I think Harry is meant to be the girl that wishes she was dating the girl who is dating Homelander right now

THERE’S A WHOLE B PLOT TO THIS????????

Call Me

Please leave Homelander and be with me instead - the other girl

Maybe they’re having a conversation now, and the other girl isn’t just thinking about this in her head

Like a Virgin

OMG did the girl finally agree to go out with the other girl????

First time == first time with a girl????? OMG Chappell Roan get over here

Like a Prayer

Oh no, they can’t be together? She’s leaving? :(

Oh, she’s falling in love

This is not the first time,.. I guess

Feels like home… girl 🥹

Big Spender

They’re on a date together, and we know our girl is rich, so she’s spoiling her date???

Material Girl? 

Same as the last, but it’s the girl’s pov now?

Lol our girl is def spoiling the other girl <3

Act 6: Homelander starts to catch on to the affair (oh wait oops, it’s cheating, isn’t it?) (sorry for the mistake) (affair sounds more posh lol) (haha…. anyways 😢 )

One Way Or Another

Homelander catches wind, know’s something’s up, and tries to catch them in the act, sees what’s going on

(ok listen I have hw to do… yet I’m too invested. Just a little more……) 😭

(uh yea yup hw is a no go ummmmmmm)

(oh well, anyway)

Butch 4 Butch

Is this our girl falling for the other girl?

Or… Is it Homelander??? Hmmm…..

Is the other girl a butch?

Is our girl a butch?

Is this meant to be wordplay?

I think it’s about Homelander, bc the relationship seems wrong

Crazy Girls

Argument with Homelander

Always Forever

Homelander is pleading for our girl to stay

Smokin Out The Window

Lore: Our girl and Homelander have kids? Or just her? There’s kids here! OMG so when Harry mentioned kids, that was true?

😭

Homelander is sad now, “How could you do this to me….”

Lore: Homelander smokes

Act 7: Girl broke up with Homelander

Guys My Age

Time skip?

It’s her perspective of the argument

Lore: Our girl is Homelander’s age, but the other girl is prob like around our girl’s age, but acts mature, unlike Homelander

Was our girl the immature one? Ahhhhh idk

Arc 8: HOMELANDER REVENGE ARC

Glory And Gore

Homelander + the superheroes are out for revenge (who is us?) new girl?

I think Homelander is dealing with the breakup… poorly.

Idk this

Rumor Has It

Lore: the other girl was half her age

Our girl broke up with the other girl?

Someone’s leaving someone

They have history

Homelander goes on to date a girl half his age, possible cheated during the former relationship??

There’s 3 people

girl (cheat) -> dude with girl -> girl with another dude

????

Ok let’s just see 🥲

Homelander and our girl get back together? Maybe, it’s all rumors in the media, it’s unclear at the moment

Which would explain…

Arc 9: Please don’t go, more lowkey but the pain is there

Edit: HOLD UP, RUMOR HAS IT WAS A PROPHECY THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!! 😦like GOLDWING AH!!??!?!??!?! :{||\\\|\\Ah1+0=-1]-./,./,./….. . . _-_-__________–_____ __ _  __ _ __

fel;ld off the cliff and bye idea poof with magic it’s gone I(idea go here but it’s byw now! :deranges lagh:joker grin) sarah save me

Brooklyn Baby

pov from the girl half your age, kinda sad and alone

Is she dating Homelander or our girl?

My boyfriend’s in a band

Oh, it’s sad if it’s the girl who Homelander cheated with 🥺

age

Lovefool

Someone doesn’t love their partner anymore, please pretend

Head Over Heels (the reprise)

Is- Homelander the one asking to stay?

Again, small age

Wanted to be with you alone

Supermassive Black Hole

Please love me, for I can’t help how much I’m in love with you

She’s My Collar

I’m hopelessly in love with a (secret) lover maybe not secret

Homelander decides to be loyal?

From genius:

He never expected his relationship with her to extend much beyond a one night stand, but now she is tempting him back, like the serpent in the Garden of Eden.

Oh buddy, Homelander caught feels 😭

This could go so wrong so fast

Arc 10: The one that got away (Homelander -> our girl -> the other girl)

More like Crazy Stalker Homelander arc (Oh no, he caught feels 😭)

Americano

Our girl is reminiscing about her? Ouch, this is pre 2015 America…

Thoughts of marriage…

Cannibal

Oh, is Homelander out for blood????

An Unhealthy Obsession

Homelander decides to stalk our girl… 😬 creepy….

Meant To Be Yours

Lore: They’re all in high school???

I wanna die was real????

Scream

Arc 11: idk numbers,, They’re married now, lest Homelander kills her

Time skip???

You’re So Vain

Our girl grew up

Lore: It’s been years

Also Homelander scene from way back when, remember this for the animatic, shall it be made

Arc 11: fr this time, The other girl’s perspective, poor girl 😭

If U Seek Amy

Chappell called, the other girl is on her mind, everyone 

It’s been years, and the other girl is still thinking about her

Starring Role

The girl doesn’t love the other girl back? :( oh no….

Me and My Husband

Poor girl is in denial….

and Drive

Follow up, she found Amy

Or Homelander is being a meanie :(

Wait scratch that

Goverment Hooker

Oh yeah so I guess the other girl is a fling now! ����

The JFK line means that our girl is a powerful person now? Like politically? Superhero’s wife?

Money, Money, Money

Poor other girl… I guess the other girl was poor :(

Or it’s like to signify she want her lil rich girl’s heart 💔 🌉

Also the girl wouldn’t like her back 😭

Chappell get over here

Please!!!

It’s My Party

:C now she’s crying… look what you’ve done 😭 🫂

She’s supposed to be mine 💔 ☹️

Breakfast In America

Take a look at my girlfriend, not much of a girlfriend

Money Honey

Our spoiled princess strikes again!

Livin that life!

Still a mistress, though 😵‍💫

She loves her the most, dw

Arc 12: Homelander’s house, what goes on in there?

Sippy Cup

The kids are depressed… where did you get this money? I’m not dumb. 😐

Immortals

Homelander,.... 😭

this isn’t the flex you think it is, buddy

I'm still comparing your past to my future

It might be your wound, but they're my sutures

I wanna bawl 😭🥹 🥺

Arc 13: Kidnapper era

Emperor’s New Clothes

Oh no, Homelander is coming to take you (away), watch out girl!!

Another Way Out

Oh it’s dark ☠️

Remember the Time

After all we had… :( (No girl, don’t trust him, he’d a bad guy, remember that.)

Monster

Oh, she knows, all right 😭

uh - CANNIBAL REFERENCE???? 

The callbacks, omg 😭

Unrelated, but gives me ABBA vibes

Also the conflict with the other girl 😭

Something About Maggie

Maggie Don’t You Know

You gotta get away from him, girl - the other girl

Hit him back (ooh the drama)

Dude ain’t as hot as he pretends to be

(can’t do hw so now I’m here^)

fire

Homelander nO-

Bro why are you still cheating on me? (evil villain)

Homelander’s the villain

Lore: the other girl is a gypsy girl???

Lore: ½ lore, girl’s Maria, other girl’s Esmerelda no girl is Esmerelda, Veronica, Maria = christ

But she will be mine / Or she will burn

Arc 14: Alright girl, it’s time to take some revenge!

Maneater - Nelly Furtado

Our girl is getting revenge!!! This describes her to a tee! 

Misty

It’s a Lesley Gore song so I think it’s about the other girl edit:yep she’s so sweet 🩷 💚

Wow, look at her go! That’s my girlfriend!!! 🥹

Sunshine, Lollipops And Rainbows

They’re on a date together!!! Yay!!!! :D :O she’s mine?????

And love is here to stay - are you sure about that????

Arc 15: Post Public Meltdown/Fight

Rich Girl

We all know who this song’s talking about 😎

Wait, was she taking the money from Homelander this whole time????

The Edge of Heaven

Homelander, I thought we were over this???? 🫢 On again, Off again now it’s WHY???? :(

Bruh Homelander really does not take no for an answer

One day you’ll wake up on your own 😐???????

I Can Do Anything / Finale

That one song that all the youtubers use

OH IT’S FROM THE SOUNDTRACK

The Plagues

Lore: the girl has a brother OH no it’s like “You were my brother” like solidarity

Homelander is finally gonna take revenge on the girl once he realizes that he can’t have her

I will not / Let your (my) people go

what>???????

Charlie’s Inferno

HOMELANDER DIED????????

Cuz the description is so Homelander 😥 😢

 WHO LET the maker of this playlist cook>>>>>???????????????

Arc 15?: Yea he’s dead now

Here Comes The Sun 

-_-

I get you, Homelander’s dead now, alright>?????

Ok so is he physically dead, or just got his comeuppance? 🤔 🧐 🈁 ‼️

HOW

What I Like About You

The girl and the other girl are holding hands and spinning in a circle, she’s wearing her party dress, and they’re partying

Act 16: Trouble In Paradise… Again

(edit: I should have known!!!!! AH!!!!!! 🤦☠️ 😫 😔 😖)

Problems

Internalized Homophobia -_-

“Let loose and love all, pent up but painfully out of place”

Oh yeah, our girls is a crazy girl. I forgot about that. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

She’s leaving??? Again??? With no obstacle in the way????? HUH????? 😭

-that feeling when everything is going well but there’s still like 50-100 pages left in the book -_- 😭

-ok I’m back, Day 4 let’s go!

Also “Yellow Brick Road” symbolizes that the singer is leaving a magical, almost mystical place, so their love really must have meant a lot to her 🥹

Lore: yep, the singer is poor (I think, could be a metaphor ) pov of the other girl??? Cuz the girl we know has always been characterized as rich, and throwaway lines like these have not been an accident so far

Applause

She’s using fame as a replacement for missing the other girl 😭

Or she’s just famous now, and she lives for it (oh no??) 😬

Heavy Metal Lover

Oh girl is dealing with this, bad 😬 poker and love Also drinking

Lore: this is all happening in NYC thanks, genius lyrics for that one!

Arc 17: New girl??????? edit: yup! ya! :D

“Let’s be friends”

Lay All Your Love On Me

Lore: the girl is a grown up woman

She misses her 🙁 

Falling in love?

They meet up?

Bad Romance

No, not again! 🙁🙍‍♀️

OH! The other girl wants her??? :/????????

I don’t wanna be friends -oh

It’s bad, so…. Toxic? But it’s ok???

Seventeen

Confrontation of her internalized homophobia, her father was not nice to her 😿

Wife also has all the personality of a lemon truly sucked dry

tragic backstory 😔 😞

Wrecking Ball

:O 😭 nooooo that’s so sad 

And I break it just because I can

Why does this sum up our girl’s personality so perfectly? 😭 (holds fists down looking up to the moon)

Step On Me

????? WHAT kinda relationship is this????

Is the other girl an apologist 🥺

The Bidding

Alright, our girl is still deep in denial

Oh wow, now the other girl picked up drinking 😭

Lore: the other girl has seen a lot and been places, dated lots of people before

🥹 aw this must reeeeaaaal ly mean a lot to her

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

Don’t love me if I disappear then?????????? 😣

Oh, she got clocked, HARD

Verbatim

Aw, our girl is really getting into the thick of her internalized homophobia

Arc 18: Cheating with another girl :O how dare you

Hug Me

Why do you insist on leaving me? :(

(Hey, notice how this isn’t toxic and manipulative, unlike when Homelander was like BuT dOn’T yOu rEmem/beR thE GooD tImEs??? 😠) I don’t get why you’re leaving me 😠 vs I don’t get why you’re leaving me 🥺

Lore: the other girl and the girl dyed their hair black together!!! No wait, the girl dyed her hair black to match the other girl! And the parents couldn’t believe- pfft haha lol 🥲

Also, the other girl can fight >:) makes sense with the lore, haha! 😄 😁 😀 🙂 👏 👍 ⛈️ 🌤️ bacon and eggs!!!!!

tis a mini break up

STOP CHEATING OH MY GOSH

Love You Inside Out

Livin’ on your cheatin’

Too many lovers in one lifetime / Ain’t good for you says you lol

I love you inside and out 🌱 🥺 aw

Too many heartaches in one / Lifetime ain’t good for me 🥹 (girl… 🫂) (she put you through a lot, didn’t she? And yet, here you all, still loving her… 😭)

What am I gonna do if we lose that fire? ( 😭 augh poor girl)  edit: (the beginning of the end, right here! Ladies and gentlemen~)

Smile

The other girl has boundaries, recapping the situation so far I think? 🙂

Adore You

Who’s adoring who? Here

Oh, I guess the other girl still holding on for hiopew 

Lore: Brown skin confirmed, again!!! Oh, it’s just tanning, could be ok. 

The other girl is fighting for her dreams!!!

Mr Bad Guy - Special Edition

Girl… Don’t become Homelander 😭 😥

OH no, the internalized homophobia is beating her up 😢😥😭 poor freddy mercury 

Or… did the other girl snap?

Arc 18: sad vibes 🕳️ 🚈 🩵 ⚡ 🗻 🪶 ⛹️ 👍

Lore: our girl smokes (like Lana del rey)

You know where to find me / And I know where to look

Lore: the other girl can cook! or at least, did it once, with a half pack of lentils

I mean, she’s left stuff in peoples’ places before

Makes sense, I mean, she’s a seasoned traveler, after all!

I think the other girl decided to murder this other person the girl was seeing, was it a dude????

The Red Means I Love You

Our girl is bleeding??????

Nah, the other girl is manic now???????

All this back and forth can drive someone crazy, for sure, so I don’t blame her

Oh, don’t pick up those cannibal habits, now

Arms Tonite

Did- did the other girl decide to kill our girl???? HUH??????

Live And Let Die

You used to say live and let live when we were younger

The Rain The Park And Other Things

Was she reality or just a dream to me?

Why happy sunny vibes? 😢

Wait… did she kill, the, what?

Arc 19: I don’t know what this means

Starstruck

FLIRTING WITH THE PRODUCER???? Nah, ok, it’s just a reference George (charli xcx’s fiancee!!) is fire though!

Poor

Omg

It’s the other girl 

There goes the dagger? Got what she wants, happily ever after?

Took the money????????????????/

What You Waiting For?

Idk, what are you waiting for? 🌀 😥 👷

Now it’s only me???????

The kids… she took them in?????

Climber??? Took the money????????????

The exes get back together again

Bubble Pop Electric

Tonight I’m gonna give you all my love

There’s a conversation between two people

Drive-in movie

Tell your father I said hello

Arc 20: Uh oh stalker arc again lol?! But who?? Hm 🤔 💭

Call

Paparazzi

I’m your biggest fan

Chase you down until you love me (yeah she means it lol)

party girl

at the show

Loving you is cherry pie - love the reference here, lol

aching feeling

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

We can do the tango just for two

I'd like for you and I to go romancing

When I'm not with you, think of you always

Response

Sarah Smiles

Yea, she sure does…

Fooled me before

Smiles like she doesn’t care

Lives in her world so unaware 

Does she know that my destiny lies with her?

Are you saving me?

The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa is an optimist who can run this town

Paints, drinks gin? iirc

Also poor,? Can’t pay?

There’s nothing wrong with a little taste of what you paid for

(OH ok with the murder, and the whatnot it kinda makes sense)

Arc 21: Shady Business ft. Arctic Monkeys

Talking In Your Sleep

I hear the secrets that you keep

When you’re talking in your sleep

 (Saying you want me)

Oh, our girl has got some secrets….

Ah. 😐 internalized homophobia strikes again…

Knee Socks

Your dreams just aren’t coming true

It’s giving TV girl / sippy cup, just another average day in the relationship 

You and me could have been a team

When you know who’s callin’ even though the number is blocked edit: <- deragment 

Chained To The Rhythm

Oh no something’s about to break-

Go crazy I mean

They’re still living ok, but they’re gonna have to face the murder charges somehow

It goes on, and on, and on

edit: this abusive relationship wasn’t supposed to be normal.

Christmas Kids

No, don’t leave!

THE GIRL I SWEAR AFTER TWO WHOLE MURDERS YOU BETTER BEHAVE YOURSELF

Lore: the kids were born on christmas, twins! Thanks, genius lyrics!!!!

Based on this interview with Roar, Christmas Kids is about the abusive relationship between Ronnie Spector of the Ronnettes and Phil Spector.

huh

😐

I think other girl is Homelander-esqe, nowew

I’ll know

Where you go if you change your name and leave this place behind

Oh, murder???

Batphone

I sell the fact that I can’t be bought

Ah, I’ll find you, on the run from murder charges, I see

Vehicles will pass by, but I know when it’s you

Sells the superhuman advanced tech universe

FINALLY

Arc 22: The End of an Era

Good Luck, Babe!

What are you running from?

Time to face the truth

You Should Be Dancing

This feels different than before

No happy sun

They’re dancing

It’s a flirtatious scene in the club, maybe one of them is being a little shy

though her? nah, I can’t believe she’d be shy

Apprehensive, maybe

OH ok, so coming back from later, this is when she meets the new girl! Oh I see! :}

trying so hard to be happy for them

Living Together

OH

Oh, it’s a “why aren’t we”

Long distance, I see :/

Happy Nation

Ace of Base

They’re appealing to the judge?

hmm idk here?

Why can’t this be a happy world?

Kinda like not super clear what’s happening here

No one man should rule the world alone

Oh this song is anti fascist

Did they get found out?

? 😕 🛂

LET US LLIVE IN PEASE ALREdsy, geeZ

edit: this is foreshadowing of the whole Homelander 2.0 kinda situation I think 

Act 23: Karma (That’s what you get for becoming Homelander 2.0, you big meanie)

Karma

That’s wild

I think the other girl finally came to her sense, and didn’t wanna date Homelander 2.0

Maggie Don’t You Know

again

oh. my. goodness.

LOOK HOW THE TURN TABLES

Oh No!

Yep, they broke up, for sure this time

The girl’s pov

Don’t want money, don’t want fame

Man, she really changed her tune, huh

Self fulfilling prophecy

I Can’t Decide

Whether you should live or die

L’AMOUR DE MA VIE <- this one right here, folks

Oh, I get it now

I tried to be there for you

Then you tried to break mine (my heart)

It isn’t asking for a lot for an apology

For making me feel like it’d kill you if I tried to leave

Then you moved on, immediately 😮  no way… ☹️ hate to hear it but don’t unexpect it 

You were so mediocre

And we’re so glad it’s over now

THE DINER

ooh the tea 🍵 ☕ 

And I just wanna talk

 NO GET OUT OF HERE YOU ABSOLUTE LOSER

stalking again, I see

 (calling card 🤮 )

Lore: The other girl is in jail now, because, you know, she was involved in the murder the second time around /.<?<tioseUJ.;p

yep, crazy

I memorized your number, now I call you when I please

Stalker, get away, already 

Lore: the girl tried to end it all but is now back up on her feet ☹️ don’t do either, please

Like be alive but be your loser self, over somewhere far away from here, leave us alone already. Please.

Arc 24: Is It Over Now?

September

Party time with the new girl!!!!

Ya!!!!!! :D

or

😑 is it the girl again

OH MY GOSH it’s even in his font now, WHY MUST YOU DO THIS 😭 (hands ruffled in my hair out of frustration over thsi)

Night Fever

YEah I hope you get a night fever, girl >:(

Guess the other girl couldn’t fix her partner, either.

Oh well.

New girl and the other girl are just flaunting around, at night, in that pretty white ruffle skirt, and having the time of their lives, huh. I’m happy for them, they seem pink rosy cheeks lovely and happy C:

Got to Be Real

Oh it’s real love this time 🙂 phew, got ourselves out of a real mess, that one :}

Funkytown

OOooh nice!!!

Oh haha, I see what’s happening here. 😝 😋 😛 😜 🤪 🥰wild

This feels super healthy :) lol

Asking for permission! It’s all in good fun! 😀

I Will Survive

Yeah right, you will!!!!!!!!!!

>:) I believe!!!!!!

I’m so sorry you have to deal with that, though\

Oh, that’s funny

Get lost, loser girl

Lore: idk if I missed it before, but THIS GIRL tried to hurt her with the word goodbye 😢

The other girl is very strong, in heart and she can fight >:)

I’m not that chained up person still in love with you

FACTS bars. honestly

Arc 25: Last one. Are they finally happy now? 🌥️ 🍳 🧀fondue

Y.M.C.A

:D

No man, does it all by himself

Aw 🥹 she’s helping her through this tough time

like a good a healthy girlfriend should 🥲 

Born Too Late

To you, I’m just a kid /That you won’t date?

Was the half your age thing not a red flag>? :hm

I think it’s the girl who sees them happy and out and about now 

LUNCH

New girl, dare I ask, again? 😔

I could buy her so much stuff

Man, I’m done with this 😶‍

Waterloo - last song!

The history book on the shelf

Is always repeating itself

They’re getting married 💒 👰

please just leave me alone I’ve had enough I’m done let me go!>....... 😔 💅☕ 🧊 💥 🪃 🫥 🌫️…   | The End.

–this is where I’m at in the playlist right now

Later the girl probably realizes that she doesn’t really like Homelander and dates a girl instead, like in Good Luck, Babe! → LUNCH

I looked ahead to the songs I recognized

Homelander is dating a rich girl with internalized homophobia and neglectful parents who don’t really love her as much as they should, and she’s a super freak from the streets. Homelander doesn’t really love her, and moreso just sees her as a fun toy of his. They have a great time, though there are signs that the relationship is toxic, but the girl decides to ignore them anyway. There’s another girl, stylized by the voice of harry styles, who longs to be with her instead, noting that the two of them don’t really like eachother like she could love her. Then, maybe the girl starts to realize what’s wrong, and agrees to see the other girl, and they have an affair. (The girl has kids, though maybe they aren’t married.) Then, Homelander finds out, they have an argument, and they break up. Homelander then gets really upset, and starts to catch feelings for real. He then stalks the girl, threatening her, as it all comes to a head as he blows up a high school. The message is clear: Marry me, or it’s over for you. (The other girl also brought up the fact that she’d like to marry her at some point :( ) Time skip!! Years pass, and she thinks longingly of the other girl. Homelander and the girl are married now, (cuz she’d be dead if she hadn’t), and the other girl goes looking for the girl. But, the girl is in denial, and wants to stay in the marriage. They still keep the affair going, though. (Wow, talk about internalized homophobia, huh. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t want to leave the marriage, even when she’s clearly unhappy with it.) The other girl is gracefully sad, hoping the girl can love her back, because right now she doesn’t show it. Then Homelander goes on a villain arc and horribly mistreats the girl. The girl starts to realize that she’s dating a monster (cannibal). He finds out that the girl and the other girl are still seeing each other and goes mad crazy. (😢 concerned) The girl decides to fight back, thanks to the other girl urging her to do so, and she takes down Homelander (but doesn’t kill) and they escape. They two of them are happy, but Homelander is upset, and finally lets go of the idea of keeping her for himself and vows to take revenge. But… some divine force attacks him, and he gets his comeuppance. Finally. Deserved. And now the two girls can freely date, but after they are happy for a little while, the girl faces her own internalized homophobia, and withdraws because of her “problems”. (Tbf she is a bit crazy, but that’s ok!!!!) They separate for a while, the other girl is crestfallen, while the girl deals with it poorly, coping through fame, gambling, and alcohol and other people. They meet up again, unexpectedly, at a coffee shop (or somewhere they both used to come together, it doesn’t even say that that’s just my guess) and they try to agree to be friends, but then the other girl admits that she doesn’t want to, and the girl tries to explain how she’s broken and her tragic family backstory. The other girl insists on loving her, even through it all. 🥹 The other girl is holding on for dear life, but the girl keeps pushing her away, dealing with the turmoil that is her internalized homophobia, along with her other toxic traits, but it’s mostly that she’s not a monster like Homelander was, but now she’s left with the consequences of having that power. 😣 Then, she cheats, because they were “on a break” or something like that. The other girl kinda gets fed up with loving her, only to get nothing in return, so she decides to kill her. Or maybe. I don’t really know at this point. It all gets a bit confusing from here, but in short, the girl goes on the run, but basically ends up becoming Homelander 2.0, and we see a mirror of the events from before playing out, but this time, instead of the girl dying, the other girl just leaves her, disappointedly. Guess the other girl couldn’t fix her, after all. She finds her own happiness in the end 🙂 With a girl who treats her right!!!! 😤

Also I think it was the girl who was half the age of Homelander this whole time 😕 :/

my notes:

study for the job you want, keeping tabs on the job that you have

🫡 got it, boss!

sycophants, I’m sick of it

do you ever just forget you’re straight sometimes (unrelated but lol)

the boys thought me a lesson, and they taught it well.

good and bad can come in many form, it’s all just a matter of perspective

history repeats itself

the abused become the abusers (see intro to attack on titan)

it takes a special kind of person to love someone really messed up

and like sometime that ain’t a good thing

don’t give it all away to someone who can’t even love you back >:(

save your tears for another day

I understand a fraction of Chappell Roan’s pain 😔😔👍

“I can fix him” NO YOU CAN’T. LEAVE< NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok that's all, bye!!!!

hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did 🥲

[karniquefreak]

Hughie trying to get to know John not Homelander, only to realise the man has no life outside of Vought.

Hughie: So what are your hobbies? John: Huh. Hughie: You know, what do you like to do for fun? John: What. Hughie: Like do you have any interests? What do you do in your free time? John:

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Take A Chance On Me Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV

Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Eventual), Little bit of Grumpy vs. Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy

Spotify Playlist 🪴

Chapter 1: Are You Always Like This?

Chapter 2: What A Great Freakin' Way To Start The Day

Chapter 3: Please Remember To Take Your Happy Pills

Chapter 4: You Want to Live Where?

Chapter 5: We Got Us An IKEA Virgin

Chapter 6: Best Friends Forever

Chapter 7: It’s Not A Date

Chapter 8: It's Still Not A Date

Chapter 9: Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite

Chapter 10: Brother Dearest

Chapter 11: It’s Giving Kidnapping?

Chapter 12: Skip The Bagel Next Time

Chapter 13: Taking Out The Trash

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Chapter 15: I Don't Know What You Did To Me!

Chapter 16: I Thought I Was In Love Before

Chapter 17: Coming Soon!

{One Shots}

Open Mic Night: When Ben and you go out on a double date with Annie and Hughie, you realize that maybe it was a bad idea.

Little Things: All Soldier Boy wants for Christmas is to find the perfect gift for you and all you want is for your boyfriend to have the best Christmas he has in forty years.

Last Updated: 12/20/2024

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @corruptedcruiser @winchesterwild78 @the-super-who-locked-wizard

@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

@roger-that-cap @megara0224 @miskwaadesiwag @rainyeggvoidpurse

@soldiergrimes @tiffsbagels @podiumackles

@ifyouwerethemoon @ririshkin @peachhiz @fitxgrld @sukunassfinger

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @ej13928 @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @modiddys-blog

@acciosherlockholmes @minas-fantasies @fireskyy

@n-o-p-e-never @nesnejwritings @am0rem @tpwkcalli @momggn

@fitxgrld @whimsicalcherry @ladysparkles78

@spxideyver @zepskies @impala67stellawinchester

@reidtomewinchester @samanthadegaro @glossy01 @nikimisery

@tunnelvisionlove @incandxscents @winchester-stark @samahanta

@melonmochi

@kamisobsessed @whichwitchwanda @karolina-12110905 @jcollins03-blog

@pixviee @filmologetica @yvonneeeee @c1nnamong1rl29 @kmc1989

@livya99 @cherrygirl444 @tulipsvanilla @angrydragon90 @chi-raz

(Photos on Mood Board From Pinterest)

[cheynovak]

Tale as old as time  

Reader x Soldier Boy 

Warnings:  Well, it’s soldier boy. Where to start... Smut, Fluff, Drugs, Cursing, Voilence, ...  

Side note: English isn’t my first language.  

Words: 6003 😮  

POV: Y/N is Soldier Boys first girlfriend who turned into a supe not long after Soldier boy with compound V. Vought made her out to be his enemy, so he had no choice but killing her. But years later the boys discover she is still alive and maybe the only supe on this planet to take down Soldier boy and homelander. 

Side note: Cursive text are memories 

Have fun!

 

----------------------- 

Pennsylvania: 1939 

 

“Y/N? Y/N! Where are you going? Wait up!” Ben yelled at her trying to follow her but the crowd in at the fair made it difficult. Y/N ran towards the Ferris wheel, she looked back but didn’t see Ben following. “Got you!” He said while lifting her up turning around. ”BEN!” she screeched laughing. When he got her steady on the ground, she lifted her hands towards his neck kissing him on his cheek. “I need to go.” Ben said. “Can’t we at least have one last ride in the wheel?” She asked with big deer eyes. Defeated by her charm he nodded.  

 

“Do you really have to go?” She asked with a soft voice. “It’s the only way to make my old man proud, sweetheart.” he said pulling her in his arms. “I don’t think this is the answer Ben, you could get hurt, or worse!” She really is worried about him he thought. “What? Afraid I find a new best girl?” He joked trying to lift the mood. She poked his ribs “Not funny! I serious Benjamin!” The wheel stopped and the two young love bird got out. As a true gentleman Ben brought Y/N home. They shared a kiss, the last one for a long time Ben thought. “Ben?” She looked up is his green eyes asking to follow her so she took his hand and leaded him behind the house towards the shed where her parents couldn’t see them. “You know I'm yours, right?” He nodded. “Will you make yours tonight?” She asked clearly looking shy. Ben’s eyes grew big. “Are, are you sure?” He asked. She kissed him passionately in response. “Just, just take it slow, ok?”  

Y/N woke up startled, looking over at Patrick, her fiancé. Who was still deep asleep. So, she quietly got out of bed and got to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. Why the hell did that memory sneaked up in her dreams. Probably the nerves for the wedding she thought. No one has seen Ben in ages, he is probably gone or much like herself had found love and settled down. But she couldn’t help herself got to the spare bedroom and pull up the old shoe box with pictures and other memories. There was one picture of Ben, fully dressed in his “Soldier boy” costume. God, she hated that helmet, made it impossible to see those cute freckles. After looking at his eyes for who knows how long she got herself back in bed. Lifting Patrick’s arm and hugging him. He mumbled something unrecognisable and pulled her closer.  

The next morning Y/N was extremely tired, she didn’t get any sleep anymore last night. “Good morning beautiful.” Patrick kissed her on her cheek as he did every morning. They had breakfast, he kissed her before he got to work. Patrick was a lawyer he made enough money to take care for the two of them. So, when they officially began dating, he asked Y/N to be a housewife. He meant well, he knew her backstory and thought she deserved some peace. She agreed, but after last night she had this hinge that maybe she wasn’t born to be a housewife.  

But the dream couldn’t stop the daily tasks. Y/N grabbed her purse and drove to the grocery store. When she came back, she noticed someone was inside her house. She quickly grabbed the gun from the glove box and went inside the house via the back door. Her house was a mess, cabinets open, shelfs empty... One of the skinnier men came down. “Oh god! Oh god. Please don’t shoot! BUTCHER, she is home!” He yelled before Y/N knock him out with the gun. The other two man came running down both holding a gun. “Listen I don’t know what you two idiots think you’re doing, but you picked the wrong house buddy!” Y/N said. “Now drop the gun!”  

“Oi, were not looking for any trouble princess.” He said lowering his gun.” Or should I say Ms. Y/N Frances Wilson.” He smirked saying your name, your true birth name, you haven’t heard in years. “How do you...know?” she looked shocked. Butcher and MM started to explain they were looking for something to kill Homelander and possibly Soldier Boy. And that Annie found secret records at Vought that stated that you were the only person who ever won a fight against Soldier boy.  

“Wait, wait you’re telling me Ben is still alive?” You looked at Hughie since he was the only person in the room you seemed to trust a little. “Oh, we’re on first name basis?” The annoying British fella said. Y/N gave him a dead stare side eye. “Listen buddy, if you have my records, you know that “Soldier boy” and I go way back. Y/n said pissed.  

“Oh my god! What happened here! Y/N are you ok?” Patrick walked through the door. “Who are you?!” he looked over at the men. “Honey, it’s ok these are... who are you again?”  

Hughie explained everything to Patrick who looked at him with fear in his eyes. “Baby, If these supes really are that dangerous, we need to help them.” “Pat, I promised you I would never, ever enter that life again.” She looked at MM “I will tell you all I know on Soldier boy. But that’s it. I’m no supe anymore” - “Well, that’s just utter bull shit isn’t. The 1st badge of fucking Russian compound V is running through your veins.” Butcher said. “No, no, no, you are coming with us princess. If we know where to find you so will Homelander.” “Let him come, I doubt that, that clown in a cape is much worth.”  

“Against you, maybe.” MM said. “But what with Patrick?” With a heavy heart you agreed to go with the boys. In the car her thoughts drifted away.  

WW2 ended, Ben was coming home, the town made sure he would get a parade. Y/N was nervous it had been a few years. Sure, he did send her letters every now and then, but as time moved on, she received less and less until the communication stopped completely. In one of the first letters, he had sent a picture of him fitting his costume. He looked proud, with a great smile. It had her fall in love all over again. Y/N stood at the back of the sidewalk, watched as Ben drove by waving at the people. He saw her, she knew, he grinned but made sure the other people there wouldn’t notice. Y/N went home after the parade, while she was painting her nails her mom called her. “Sweetheart, get dressed, Benjamin called, he is picking you up for dinner with his folks.” Your heart pounded, he didn’t forget you. You mother thought you were a madwoman not to date nice decent men while he was gone. She wanted her daughter to get married and start a family, like any other parent wanted in those times. And not to wait on a “superhero” who once liked her daughter, who now probably could have any woman.  

Y/N chose a beautiful green dress that matched her curves, it was fitting but not tacky, her nails were boudoir red as were her lips and heels. Perfect contrast with her dress. The doorbell rang. Her father answered the door before she could came down the stairs. Ben was still wearing his costume, probably to impress your folks but thank God, he didn’t wear the helmet. He watched you come down the stairs. “Wow.” he said “breathtaking.” clearly impressed. He held your hand and helped you with the last steps. He kissed you soft on the lips. You were a little stunned by that move, because this was something he would have never done before he got to the army. Your parents were old school he knew that.  

You got into the car, surprisingly he had a driver now. “My lady.” he said holding the door. At first the ride was silent. You stared at him. “Like what you’re seeing, sweetheart?” he grinned looking you up and down, it made you blush. “It’s just, you have changed so much and yet you haven’t.” “So have you.” The dinner wasn’t really a cosy gathering, Ben told his parents and you every detail.  His dad wasn’t impressed with what his son had achieved.” You took a short cut. There were normal man fighting, those are hero’s not some pumped up boy who hasn’t achieved anything in this life.”  

You could see Ben’s lip twitch. “Ben? I think it’s time for me to go home.” Y/N said to help him get out of the house. Once outside “Unbelievable, I did everything I could for that man and I’m still not good enough.” He kept rambling. “Ben, STOP!” He looked at you. “Stop with caring what your father thinks of you.” you said while taking his hand. “He doesn’t know you, not the way I do.”  

 

“Hi, soldier boy.” Two girls giggled from a crossed the street waving at him. Ben answered their flirtations with an over-the-top grin and nod while he checked them out just a little to long for your liking. He turned back to you and saw your expression. “He kissed your cheek, don’t worry sweetheart you’re the one for me.” The car ride was silent once again you almost reach your parents house. “Can you pull over, right here? And give us a minute?” You asked the driver.  

Ben looked at you, the second the driver got out of the car did Ben pull you closer to him and kissed you. Not a soft kiss, no, a passioned kiss his tongue aggressively asking for permission. His hands travelling from your neck over your breast kneading them. “Ben, is this really the best place?” Y/N asked while pulling back. Ben didn’t move back but moved his lips from your mouth to your neck. “You have a better idea sweetheart, was the shed a better place?” He asked out of breath, clearly aroused. You didn’t feel comfortable with his roughness. “Ben stop, please.” - “Oh, come on baby, don’t tell me you’ve didn’t dream of me. That you didn’t think of that night while you touch yourself.”  

That was the line he crossed. “BENJAMIN STOP IT! Get off me! You yelled while slapping his face. Y/N got out of the car Ben shorty following her. “Y/N... Y/N! Stop I’m sorry.” he grabbed her arm. “Look at me sweetheart.” You turned around with tears in your eyes. “Oh baby, I'm sorry, it just, I just, it’s been a while.” You look at him shocked by his words. “You’ve changed Ben. You’re a brute. Maybe if you, I don’t know at least had a normal conversation with me before you started groping me.” - “What I, can’t touch my own girl?” - “Of course, you can, it’s the way you do it Ben, any other man...” But he didn’t let you finish. “Other man? Is there another man Y/N? Did you get the tasted of it after I left. Did you turn to someone else for pleasure.”  

“I can’t believe you! I wanted to say: any other man would at least consider HER feelings.” He dropped his head understanding what she meant. “Goodnight Ben.” She said leaving him in the street. The next day he had to leave for another parade in a different city but not before he went to see Y/N.  

Y/N’s dad answers the door “She doesn’t want to see you kid.” You hear him say. “Please Sir, I need to speak to her.” Ben sounded devastated. “Y/N! I know you’re here. Y/N I’m sorry! Please come talk to me.” - “Boy you are testing my patients, go away, I don’t know what happened last night, but she doesn't want to see you. - “Bullshit!” You heard Ben’s voice turn into anger. He pushed your old man aside an ran up the stairs. Y/N met him halfway standing taller than him. “Baby, please.” He said while hugging you, his head against your stomach. “I want you to go Ben.” Y/N said between her tears. “I don’t know what they did to you, but you are not the same man anymore. I want you to leave.”  

‘Y/N no, you don’t mean it. Y/N please!  

Y/N .... Y/N....’ 

Y/N!!!! Butchers voice leaps you out of the memory. “We’re here” Hughie smiled softy seemingly scared. Y/N didn’t know what it was but this kid, she liked him. He had something pure in his eyes. Once inside Y/N and Patrick meet the other members. They all seemed on edge.  

 

“What the fuck is she doing here?” That voice... you slowly turned around. Ben was standing there in baseball shirt and sweatpants “Oh, god!” But before you could say more, he stormed towards you lifting you up by your neck. “I’ll ask again, what, is she, doing here?” Y/N wanted to answer but couldn’t without air. Ben looked for a second at Patrick, clearly not impressed by him. Y/N kicked Ben to his knee he let her go. But not without trying to hitting her. She luckily could avoid it and pushed him away. “I had no idea you would be here!” She said lifting her hands in the air. “You are the fucking commie that made me a lab rat!” - “Ben that’s not true! I tried to fucking save you from your so-called girlfriend!” - “Bullshit you helped them!”  

“She is telling the truth, according to Voughts records did Noir and Countess quit the number on her. They left her a massive scar on her back. Before they shipped her back of to Russia, where you were held, a cargo she escaped.” Hughie said.

“It’s true Ben, when I heard what they did to you in '84, I tried to find you, I swear!” He got closer, grabbing her neck looking intensely at her. But Y/N pulled back looking over at Patrick. Ben followed her eyes. “Who is he?” - “My fiancé. Patrick”  

“Your Fian...” He couldn’t finish that sentence. ”Why? Did he got you pregnant?” He laughs looking at you. Even though he meant is a joke he glanced at your tummy. “No Ben, we love each other. Besides you know supes don’t have the best track record on getting pregnant.” You said walking over to Patrick. “No, but we sure loved to try.” He winked at you making Patrick uncomfortable. 

Butcher, MM and Annie were going through your files. Annie glanced over at Y/N and asked “Hey, it stated here you weren’t a supe until after 1949? But they never clarified what happened.  

 

 Y/N was walking to her job, when a van pulled over. Two men who didn’t spoke English pulled her in. A week later she woke up in some sort of a hospital. Couple of needles in her arms. The man said in broken English that this might hurt, but that she would become the most powerful humans on the planet, the perfect weapon. And who else can hurt Soldier boy better than his first love. 

Y/N tolt the team what tests they did after they pumped her full of compound V. “Or at least the Russian version of it.” She said. “After that...” She fell silent.  

“After that they erased her memories. Trained her to be a fucking assassin. And sent her after me.” Ben said quietly from a crossed the room not even looking up from the tv. 

“He is right. I trailed him all crossed the country to kill him. And I remember every second of it. I just couldn’t stop myself.”  

Ben woke up in a fancy hotel room, he looked over his bed, smirking when he realised there were still 3 women in his bed from last night. He got up, put on a rope, snored a line and drank the rest of the whiskey he had last night. He heard a noise coming from the hallway. Before he could take a look, the door broke down. An assassin dressed in black attack him. The women screamed when Ben was holding the intruder against the wall. “Run you fucking stupid sluts!” He yelled at them before they ran away behind Ben. “Now who are you?” Ben took of the intruder's mask. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “Y/N???” That moment of hesitation was enough for her to escape his hands.  

After more than an hour going back and forward, Ben hit her she felt out of the window 5 floors down. He looked but she didn’t move. Every now and then their pads crossed. They fight no one wins, one of them got hurt and they would meet again. It became an obsession with finding each other. Vought even named her a super villain. Until one day Y/N had found him again on vacation in Rome. Ben got tired of the constant fighting he wanted answers. He had her tied down and tried to find answers. But no matter what she didn’t talk. He got so frustrated he hit her in de head with his shield. She went unconscious but when she woke up. Ben was still sitting in front of her. “Ben? Oh god Ben!” she started to cry.  

 

Ben had hit her so hard so many times that for some reason the trauma had brought her back. At first he didn’t trust her. But after a while he released her. She told him everything that happened to her. “You should go. Celebrate new year” he said. “N-New year?” she looked shocked. “Sweetheart it’s 31 December.” - “What year?” - “1959”  

“Ten years...” she mumbled under her breath. “You have a place to go?” - “No, not really.” He nodded. Ben thought for a second then invited you to his party.  

Ben knuckled when thinking back at that night.  

 

It was an over-the-top party with world leaders, porn stars and drugs. Old Y/N would have been traumatized, supe you well, let’s say that this was a new beginning. Ben sat on the sofa with 2 girls almost fighting to get on his lap and he clearly enjoyed the attention, until he sees Y/N flirting with a guest. He was clearly trying to get into her pants. And she didn’t seem to mind. This got Ben furious, he got up without saying anything to the girls and walked towards them. You both looked at him. “Out” He said. “Out... EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!” Y/N tried to walk away with the crowd.  

Ben grabbed Y/N's arm. “Oh, not you sweetheart.” Y/N looked at his hand around her arm and got closer. “What’s the problem Ben? Are you the only one who is allowed fuck on this evening?”  

“Baby... where did you learn to talk like that!” He grinned “But no, no you are allowed to get fucked as well sweetheart. If I’m the one doing it.”  

 

For some reason that made Y/N’s panties soaking wet. She pushed Ben against the wall ripping his shirt in the process. His hand found their way to the back of her knees lifting her up throwing her on the bed. Y/N took off her dress, showing the red lingerie, slowly moving her hands all over her body before moving one hand down her panties, while sitting on her knees. Ben walked towards her pumping his hard cock,

“Fuck that’s hot sweetheart. Show me how wet you are.” She lifted her fingers in the air. Ben grabbed her wrist slowly licking her fingers clean. “Hm, so sweet.” He pushed he on her back taking of her panties. “I’ve missed this pussy, I’ve been wanting to fuck it, worship it ever since I came back from the war.” Y/N got inpatient. “Jesus fucking Christ, Ben are you going to talk me to sleep or are you going to fuck me?  

Ben licked a long stripe against Y/N heated sex. ‘Oh yesss!” She moaned letting her head fall back. Ben ate her like a man starved, then he entered a finger into her cunt, he could feel her enjoying it by the way she squeezed around it. “Fuck sweetheart, how long has it been since someone took care of you?” - Y/N had trouble finding words she could already feel the heat in her boiling. “Huh? Tell me, did you find a man back home? Someone to fuck you when your needy? Or did you take care of yourself?” Ben added another finger while licking your clit. You came so hard on his fingers that the wet sound of him going in and out of you would have normally made you embarrassed. After she screamed his name like a prayer she admitted. “Ben, there was no one. No one but you!” She said a little ashamed knowing he probably fucked half of USA by now. “You really are my girl...” Ben said while kissing her. Letting her take a breath before round 2, 3, 4 and 5 of that night. 

 

“Great fucking night.” He said looking at Y/N and Starlight grinning.  

 

“Why did he say that you were the reason for... you know.” Hughie asked. “Well, in 1970 was payback created. Up until then Ben and I lived together." “Wait, you never told me this.” Patrick said. “I knew he was your first boyfriend and that you fought in the 50s. Why didn’t you tell me? “ Y/N opened her mouth, but Ben was first. “Probably because she didn’t like to tell that after a decade of fighting came a decade of making up... sex.” Patrick closed his eyes, clearly disgusted by soldier boy.  

“As I was saying, 70s, payback, crimson countess.” You say irritated looking at Ben. “Those days, they made it hard on us. Vought didn’t like the idea of the number one hero being in a relationship with the person they called the number one villain. So, we had to keep our relationship a secret. Vought though it would be a great idea to promote Countess and Soldier boy as the it couple. Ben agreed, saying it was all just publicity. “ Ben, looked away. Y/N felt silent. “So, he cheated? “ Hughie asked. 

 

“NEVER! Ben got up this time, I never ever cheated, not on her!” He almost stood toe to toe with him. “Ben... Benjamin!” Y/N yelled standing up trying to defend Hughie who almost shit his pants. Ben looked at Y/N “I swear.” - “I know, but Crimson and Vought did find a way to separate us. They made false evidence that I would be recruited again by Russian spies to bring down Vought. "

I had no idea so when I asked Ben to let go of the suit.” - “He thought you wanted him to be on your side as a communist.” Annie finished your story. “Yes” Y/N said looking at Ben. “All I wanted was a normal life, no more fighting, no more Vought. The life I dreamed of since 1939” - “Well, seems like you finally get what you want sweetheart.” Ben said looking defeated.  

“Well, that’s enough bedtime stories, we need to go and get some supply's before hunting down your boysband.” Butcher said grinning at Ben. “Y/N you mind watching Ben for me? Since you are the only one who probably would actually stop him is he wanted to leave.” - “What about the rest of you?” Y/N asked meaning what about Patrick. “I need everyone, some things I can’t buy in a normal store because I'm wanted. Patrick is a nobody, perfect for the job.”  

In the car MM gave Patrick a phone. “I don’t know if you want it. But Frenchie and I placed a shitload of cameras in that place.  

Everyone left to do their job. Ben was sitting again, in front of the tv. But when Y/n got up to get something out of the kitchen he followed her. “Does he make you happy?” - “What?” - “Patrick, does he make you happy.” He asked again only this time standing so close to you, you could feel his breath against your neck. Y/N closed her eyes. “Yes, I guess so. I have the life I wanted.” She turned to face him locking eyes “I said yes, I'm getting married soon.” Ben breathed heavy while looking at her. He lifted a hand on her neck again, sliding his fingers through her hair toughing his forehead with hers.  

“God, Y/N please don’t.” Patrick said waiting in the car, looking at the camera footage.  

 

“Ben, please... don’t.” She closed her eyes afraid to look in his. “I learned my lesson sweetheart. “I won’t touch you unless you want me to.” He sighted but didn’t move back. “Does he satisfy you?”  

“BEN! That, that is none of your business!” She angry opened her eyes looking in his. She placed a hand on his chest to push him away, but couldn’t, instead she slowly moved her hand up to his cheek. Ben leaned into it. “I’ve missed those soft hands.”  

Y/N smiled slightly. “This beard, it suits you.” - “You like it?” he was surprised. “Very mature. Maybe even a little sexy.” Those worlds made Ben crazy. He lifted you up and placed you on the counter making him stand between your legs, kissing you like a madman, his hands all over Y/N, touching Y/N’s breast making her pull back out of the kiss and moan his name.  

Patrick didn’t want to watch anymore but couldn’t close it. He kept hoping Y/N would fight back. Tell Soldier boy that she loved him, that he had to let her go. Instead, he watched the two of them heading for the bedroom. “No no no no noooo.” Patrick switched camera. Thank got that MM placed one in Soldier boy’s room. “You can still say no baby.” Patrick said under his breath.  

“Fuck, say it again.” Ben said. “I want you, Ben” Y/N moaned while he was sucking her neck and ear. Ben lifted her up and took her to his room closing the door with his foot. He dropped Y/N onto the bed. “Clothes off!” He commanded “I would love to spend the next 48 hours just making love to you, reclaiming your body.” He said. “Ben we don’t have time for that.” Y/N said while pulling his sweatpants and boxers down. She placed herself on the bed. Pulling of her panties while Ben was still looking at her. Y/N opened her legs. “Are you going to stand there watching me pleasuring myself, or are you going to make me scream your name?” Y/N didn’t have to say that twice.  

Ben took his cock in his hands and started to push himself inside her. “Fuck! Your still so tight.” He said while being balls deep in her. He started to trust slow but deep and hard. Y/N lifted her legs over his shoulders so he could go even deeper. “Oh Ben! I forgot how big you were!” Y/N could feel that Ben with every trust hit the G spot inside her. “You were made for me sweetheart, your pussy was made for me to fuck.” Ben felt that he wouldn’t last long if he kept going like this. “Turn around baby. All four.” He said while pulling out of her. He harshly trusted back in her making her moan almost screaming his name. “That’s it baby, say my name.” He said while rubbing her clit. “Oh Ben, ... Don’t stop!” She moaned. Y/N could feel her orgasm building and so could Ben by the way she squeezed him.  

 

“Does he fuck you like this? Does he know how to make you scream his name? By the tightness of you pussy I would say you didn’t get fucked properly in a while.” Y/N loved the way Ben talked dirty.  “Maybe we should invite him, let him see how a real man fucks his lady.” Y/N’s pussy tightened. “Oh, you like that huh. You want him to see how I fuck you, how I know every little inch of your body.” Y/N couldn’t hold it anymore and started to shake into her orgasm screaming Ben’s name.  It didn’t take long before Ben’s trusts started to get sloppy. Y/N turned around and took his cock in her mouth bobbing her head, touching the tip of his cock with her tongue just the way he liked it. Ben leaned back holding her hair while releasing in her mouth.  

Patrick couldn’t believe what he had seen. He tried to find a way to make things better. It was pure sexual, yes that’s it. She doesn’t love him, she, they fucked it wasn’t making love. He tried to convince himself.  

Y/N laid back down on the bed. Ben did the same thing “Fuck that felt good.” He said looking at her on his side with his head in his hand. “Come here.” Ben said while pulling her in his arms Y/N’s head was locket under his chin and against his chest. Ben started to stroke his fingertips over her arms, up her back coming back to the front over her breast, holding one in his warm hand. “So fucking beautiful.” He whispered.  

It was quiet for a moment, now that Y/N was back to her senses she could only think of Patrick, what did she do to him. Patrick was a nice respectable man, he didn’t deserve this. But being here in Ben’s arms felt so right, so safe like coming home.  

“Leave him.” Ben said after a while to break the silence. “What?” Y/N got up looking shocked at him. “Leave him, run away with me.” He said with a straight face. “Ben you, no, I can’t. I’m getting married soon.” Y/N said but not with confidence. Ben got up and sat against the headboard of the bed. “Why? Because he gives you a home? A house with a white picket fence?” He asked while pulling Y/N into his lap, her knees on each side of his thighs. His lip started to slowly kiss the top of her breast before laying his head against her. His hands steady on her back.  

Ben could now feel her scars for the first time his fingers moved over them. “I should have never left you.” He whispered. “Well, I'm sure countess would have found a way.” Y/N said while her lips and cheek were touching his hair. “No, back in 1939, I should have married you, I should have been the man you wanted, deserved. Instead of joining the army.”  

He moved his head to look up at her. “I should have married you, made love to you every night until you were pregnant. Watch our kids grow up. Dance with you in the kitchen. Hell I would even take you to fucking Elvis Presley concerts if that is what you wanted.” That made Y/N laugh but tear up at the same time. “Ben...” Y/N sighted. He kissed her lips again only now he took his time. This kiss was one to make sure she felt loved. Ben pulled her closer, Y/N’s hands on the back of Ben’s head.  

Y/N felt Ben's cock getting half hard again. Both of them started to move their bodies in sync without even knowing. Ben pulled sightly back. “Y/N, I’ll give up the suit, I’ll won’t kill payback, I’ll even stop the booze and drugs. I’ll do anything for you as long as you promise you're mine again.” Y/N looked at his face, looked in his green eyes. “I’ve always been yours Ben.”  

MM got back in the car “Man, are you ok?” He looked at Patrick holding the phone. He rewind the last part and showed MM before the rest of the crew came back. “Y/N, I’ll give up the suit, I’ll won’t kill payback, I’ll even stop the booze and drugs. I’ll do anything for you as long as you promise you're mine again.” -  “I’ve always been yours Ben.”  

“Shit, I'm sorry man.” MM said Patrick didn’t react. Butcher and the rest came back and drove back to the house.  

Y/N took a quick shower, Ben was walking around in the room putting on his sweatpants while all of the sudden he saw a little black dot on the top corner of the dresser. “Son of a...” He pulled it out. “A fucking camera.” Without saying anything to Y/N he walked around the house and found 3 more cameras. Ben stood in the kitchen when Butcher, MM, Hughie and Patrick walked in. “YOU ENGLISH FUCKER!” Ben yelled. This made Y/N suspicious, so she quickly got out of the shower and then heard a rumble. When she got dressed, she ran towards the sound. The kitchen table was upside down on the other end of the room. Ben held MM against the wall.  “What the hell is going on?” Y/N asked.  

“These fuckers thought it would be a great idea to record me, and everything I do in this house.” Ben said pissed not looking at her. “Ben let go of him.” He didn’t respond. Y/N touched Ben’s shoulder. “Ben, please let go of him.”  

Butcher and Hughie looked at each other not knowing what was going on. “Oi, can someone explain what the fuck is going on. A bloody hour ago you” he pointed at Ben “Wanted to fucking kill her. And know she is taming you? And you two ” He pointed at MM and Frenchie “thought it would be good idea to spy on the oldest fucking supe out there, you‘re really that horny and pathetic you want to see him fuck grannies...” While Butcher said that Hughie got the bigger picture. “He didn’t sleep with grannies...” - “Y/N” Patrick finished Hughie's sentence, tearing up. “But then again, you were always his, weren’t you?”  

Y/N started to cry “Patrick, I-I'm sorry.” - “It’s ok, I get it, you wanted a house, a husband, a family but not with me, not really. So, I’m going home, I'm going to box up everything you own. And when you are ready, you can come pick it up.” Y/N stood there watching him walking through the door. 

“So on with the plan ay. How to kill Homelander.” Butcher broke the awkward silence. “No” Ben said walking up to Y/N holding her. “I’m done.” - “No, you’re not.” Y/N said “I still want payback on payback. But Homelander is your problem, Butcher.”  

1 year later.  

Y/N stood at the kitchen counter making breakfast. *Can’t help falling in love* playing in the background. Ben wrapped his arms around her waist. His head on her shoulder swaying left to right. Y/N turned around kissing him. And when she looked in his eyes, she could see the sparkle she hasn’t seen since that day at the fair. Ben, he smiled softly at her. And for the first time in God knows how long, she finally saw a glimpse of the young man she fell in love with. Knowing even though they are both fucked up, they belong together. “Look, we’re dancing. To fucking Presley, Sinatra I would get, but Elvis, why?” He said with a disgusted look on his face. Y/N laughed “Amazing voice, great hips!” She said biting her lip, knowing he wouldn’t like that answer. “Oh, I'll show you great hips.” Ben said lifting her up on the kitchen table. Y/N giggled like a teenager. “I love you.” Ben said looking in her eyes.  

“I love you too.”  

--

If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

[phoenixtakaramono]

OPERATION BABYLON - PART VI

aka the butchlander sugar baby AU.

We have the first reader interactive poll for this threadfic! I recommend reading the update to the end (with a detailed breakdown of each choice) before making your decision.

Tumblr Navigation (note I have not shared the prologue here with its premise setup; I’ve only started sharing this twitter threadfic on tumblr starting from the 2nd 🔞 scene): I | II | III | IV | V | VI

Update Schedule: weekly/ biweekly

(You can read the rest of the threadfic update here!)

Keep in mind, all of my AU Butchlander threadfics on Twitter are the unpolished first draft versions of what’ll eventually be polished up into long fics on AO3 under the Shock and Awe series. So you may regard this threadfic as an experimental first prototype and exclusive preview whose contents may or may not be changed in the future final draft version. We’re just loosely playing around with ideas and concepts for now!

If you don’t have a Twitter account, screenshots are provided below the line break so you can read this update on Tumblr as well:

A more-in-depth breakdown of the choices:

A) Tell the truth. To avoid suspicion, Billy lays low and comes up with an excuse that he's booked for the whole day plays hard to get. It'll lead to Homelander running into "William out on a date" with another Supe—and a jealous Homelander running interference lol and sabotaging it, potentially leading to a "private tour" at The Seven meeting room and some 🔞 inappropriate office s*x ;) the setting depends if I decide to have it as a Vought HQ gala event or a Capes for Christ baptism

The payoff: a lead into the investigation The con: Billy's relationship with one of his long-time regulars is irreversibly damaged (it'll come bite him in the arse much later in the threadfic)

B) Homelander wants to be his sugar daddy. So Billy wants to test that and see if he can get our caped crusader to unknowingly fund his little CIA operation by exaggerating his rent and monthly overhead costs to tug at the hero's supposed generous philanthropist heartstrings. It'll lead to the sugar baby/daddy relationship being developed more aka a lil à la Pretty Woman-styled "shopping spree" with Homelander raining gifts on Billy's head say bye bye to Billy's CIA-assigned base, potentially leading to a 🔞 scene for "William to show him his gratitude"

The payoff: a bigger base and money for a more in-depth investigation The con: Homelander will lowkey stalk monitor him, so it'll be harder to keep his covert activities a secret from him or sneak out

C) The cute "Waiting for you :)" type of option. Billy doubles down on the act and reforms himself into Homelander's dream lover. It's tooth-rotting romantic fluff and flirty back-and-forth banter between them, but keep in mind what'll happen when Homelander inevitably realizes the "William who's literally almost perfect in every way and is too good to be true" isn't actually real much much much later as a direct consequence of this early choice.

The payoff: a happy Homelander (speedrun gaining his trust and affection by taking our bbg on dates <3) The con: the future fallout (and reconciliation) will be much more dramatic

Choose your poison! You can also vote on Twitter (link to the poll). I will add the final results together, and we’ll see which story route comes out on top.

A/N: A bit of Billy’s POV as we begin to pull back the curtains. How deep does this rabbithole of deception go? Far. Very far. Did y'all see the twist with Popclaw? Didn't expect that, did ya?

I am, by the way, open to ⚠️🔞 reader suggestions~. I make no promises that I’ll write it, but this threadfic is meant as a shameless excuse to write 🔞 butchlander spice, haha, and provide y’all some content during our butchlander drought. I have one reader suggestion thus far, and it involves candle wax. 🕯️

[sehtoast]

I like your thoughts and interpretations a lot, so I wanted to ask, how can I write Homelander x reader (or anyone) and make it not feel like he’s being put out of his comfort zone or doing something just as a way of coping? It sounds silly but I’ve having thoughts on it and besides having a lot of consent checks and stuff I’m not sure how else to do it. I’m probably overthinking but I thought I’d ask since you write and seem to have good insight on characterization and consent

The thing with this is that you actually have a lot of control over this as the author in subtle and obvious ways (took me a while to answer this  just because there’s a lot, lol).  So much so that it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what may or may not make something feel consensual in your writing.  There’s not really one particular thing that achieves this, you know?  It could be anything from comfort/safety with the person you’re pairing him with, to consent checks (these are just as effective!), to his own enthusiasm in the scene.  I’m gonna talk about smut writings below the cut, so warning for ns/f/w below:

To start, I’m hoping you’re asking this in regards to smut, otherwise I’m just info dumping on smut writing lol.  Consent and boundaries can exist for much more than sex, so apologies if I’m getting this wrong.

If you’re looking to go heavy on a show-don’t-tell way of showing consent and comfort from Homie, think about how he reacts to certain things.  Does he lean into their touch?  Does he shake with need, or is it actually anxiety?  <- This in particular is one that might require a smidge of telling, though your descriptions of him in the scene can indicate the difference too.  Does he touch/cling to them, or try to confine himself to his own sort of space as if to keep away?  A lot can be told just in the way he reacts physically. 

Doing perspective from his pov can also help a ton.  Is he excited by what’s going on?  How’s his internal monologue sounding?  His emotional state?  Fics from his pov can help with being more open about how he feels and you don’t have to pingpong as much between characters.  Readers are generally understood to be consenting (unless otherwise specified) since those types of works are self indulgent, so the focus doesn’t necessarily have to be on both but certainly can be if you’d like!  

‘Telling,’ or just having verbal consent checks (can be nonverbal too!) is still very effective, and is something I’ve done in my own fics before.  That, and the stuff above (and stuff I might have missed) are all really good ways to do it.

I’m going to talk about how I write him with my OC (and, to be fair, readers as I just picture the reader as my OC anyway when I write those types, lol).  With Ben, it's interesting to write smut for Homelander.  The whole shtick with them is that Ben is literally just some guy Homie threatened into joining The Seven that ended up bonding with him and forming a relationship.  The beauty of that is that this establishes a baseline of comfort and safety with one another (as a general rule, this baseline can be understood in fics without much or any backstory in a lot of cases). 

In one of my side fics, I have Ben stop Homelander from initiating sex, and even kissing (pre-relationship, for context) because he recognizes that Homelander is trying to bury his grief with it and doesn’t want to take advantage of him while he’s in such a tender state.  But that scene was written with the understanding that Homelander was trying to do that, and his paired character recognized it.  Again, this is something that you have incredible control of as the writer.

With my Ben x Homie fic “Touch,” I actually have it start with Ben asking if he can touch Homie.  I focused that fic from Homie’s pov and have him ramble some internal thoughts about “duh, we’re dating,” which I did to sort of toy with Homelander’s concepts of explicit vs implicit consent.  Ben asks for explicit consent, but Homelander believed it was already implicitly there.  As a man who has likely never genuinely been asked that question (or at least not in good faith/have it be ignored after), it felt very right to have Ben ask him that.  Throughout the fic, Homelander seeks more and more contact with his body, which I felt shows his eagerness and desire to continue.  

When things are a little more wild, such as with the fic where he’s tongue-blasting Ben’s wrist spinnerets, I wrote from Homie’s pov again to establish that it was his freaky-deaky playful nature that led to him thumbing at Ben’s wrists, gauging the physical response, and getting more and more into it.

Writing him as submissive or bottoming is when I rely heavily on physical queues as well as verbal.  If he’s seeking more on his own accord while trying to follow any rules, this shows his eagerness.  Gasps, moans, and glassy eyes searching for reassurance (that find it readily) are good physical indicators.  And here I think consent checks would be excellent!  Given what we know about him, his abuse by authority figures, and his struggle with power dynamics, it’s not at all inappropriate or out of place for his partner to ask if he’s okay, if he wants to continue, etc while he’s in an especially vulnerable state- especially if his partner also knows about these things.  I think he would actually really really appreciate this.

Want to tie it all together with making sure he’s comfortable?  After care.  Holy moly, after care!!!  After care is under utilized imo, but it’s a wonderful way to have your characters talk afterward and explore how they feel.  Maybe one takes care of the other, helps them clean up, preps a bath and dotes on them (or they mutually dote) while they share the tub.  Maybe it’s just pillow talk.  But it’s very special and can really add that layer of comfort.

Like I said, there's a ton of ways you can do this. Just do what feels right, you know?

I don’t know if this answered everything thoroughly, but please shoot me another ask if I missed anything!  I appreciate you a ton for thinking of me and your kind words about my interpretations <3 

[twstbookclub]

Parallel Lines

Summary: Close friends, but nothing more. Parallel lines, but never touching. POV: 2nd Pronouns: Gender neutral Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Kalim Al-Asim, light angst, parallel lines trope, I took this one easy, be grateful that this is gentle cause I cried writing the next two Word count: 799

enjoy the lighter angst from me this time because the next two will... destroy the respective stans :)

Laughs and cheers filled the open room. You liked being in Scarabia, even with the sand and dry weather at times, but you were mostly there for Kalim. The housewarden became your friend the moment he could talk to you one-on-one. You felt drawn to him. It was a natural course, but all of that had its own consequences.

Kalim perked up when he was finally able to meet you. He talked to you with so much energy, and you responded the same way. Someone could catch up with his mood, which was the best thing for him. He constantly talked to you and got excited about spending time with you. It felt so right, but there was still some… unspoken distance.

You were a person that didn’t belong in the world of Twisted Wonderland. You were simply wasting the days away in this universe while Headmaster Crowley searched for a way home for you.

Kalim Al-Asim was of high status, a relative of the Scalding Sands royal family. Coming from a big family and having his guard—or friend, depending on what you wish to call his attendant Jamil. He was of a different standing, similar to the future king of Briar Valley, Malleus Draconia.

There was an apparent wall between them. They were separated by an invisible glass with holes just so they could talk, but they became best friends with the snap of a finger. Everyone around them would comment on how easily they made each other laugh and brighten everyone’s mood.

Some even suggested dating because “You two are perfect for each other,” but that was much easier said than done. You were aware of that. Kalim was aware of it, too.

You liked Kalim for his bright smile and shining energy. He was like a golden retriever boyfriend that you always heard about in your world. He was genuinely kind and always helped you or kept you company.

Kalim liked you for your diligence and kindness. You didn't take advantage of his good intentions, and that was enough for him to accept you. He liked the conversations and hangouts that you would have with him.

You were restless, and he was restless with you. Sleeping in class was usually done together. You and Kalim were like parallel lines.

But parallel lines are close, but never touching.

Knowing the circumstances, there was a line that neither of you could cross, but it was established without even needing to talk about it. You understood his situation, while he understood yours.

Kalim had his life set for him back in his homeland. You had an entire life waiting for you back in your world, too.

“Kaliiiiiiim!” You yelled, looking through the halls of Scarabia's dormitory. The cool wind of the night in the desert was a drastic comparison to how hot it was in the day, but you couldn't complain when you could see Kalim's smile.

He stepped out of his dorm room just moments later, surprised at how you called his name like that. “Hey! What's going on? You're screaming as if I took the last ice cream from the freezer.” 

His joke made you laugh, and you held up a building set, knowing you liked doing it with him. “Building set. Over 500 pieces. Should we all-nighter this thing!?” You asked excitedly, watching Kalim's face light up as he got hyped.

“Should we!? What kind of question is that? We have to. Come on!” Kalim exclaimed and took you into his room before he started to clear off a space on the floor.

You set down the box and looked around for a lollipop. You left a few the last time and grabbed one to snack on so the sugar could keep you awake. After, your eyes fell on Kalim, and he was still cleaning the floor, but he had a wide smile.

Once he was done, he noticed your eyes stuck on him. He laughed lightly. “You look weird staring at me like that. What's wrong?”

You stay quiet and take the lollipop out of your mouth, giving him a light smile. “I like how we are, Kalim. Can we never change?”

Your question made Kalim's smile falter. He blinked a few times and stayed quiet, too, then gave you a cheeky smile again. “I don't want to change, either. Why would we?”

You began to laugh and tilt your head. “You're right. How dumb of me,” you said playfully and stared at him for a little. Kalim stared right back and didn't break it for a moment. His red eyes showed the brightest light that an iris could hold.

Parallel lines. They're always close, but they never touch, never cross. Just like the two teens in this very room. Close friends, but nothing more.

[valence-gnome-bandit]

intro+headcanon and fic master list!

ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃

HEY! want a head canon of your favorite character? send me an ask with the characters name, what their from, and what you want me to talk about and I'll make a post for you!

howdy there, I'm val! I'm twenty, minors use your own discretion, this blog might not be sfw.

this blog is mostly homelander and stuff about the boys although there is a sprinkling of batman/dc stuff, rune factory, and Pokemon.

my dm's and asks are always open I love hearing from people <3

see ya round!

fics:

every god needs an imp a03

every god needs an imp wattpad

chap 1 tumblr

chap 2 tumblr

chap 3 tumblr

chap 4 tumblr

headcanon posts:

catlander

part 1

part 2 pretty boy time

part 3 Ryan and homelander

part 4 if you were his

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9

homelander x stuffie lover reader anon

homelander x younger reader anon

homelander x younger reader 2

looking for another post of mine? send an ask or dm me! I'm always up for talking.

special thanks to @tearueful @blindmagdalena @slasher-smasher and @mommy-mortis for all the support and inspiration!

thanks to yall for so much support I really enjoy being part of the community on here everyone is so nice <3

almost forgot to add my playlist that makes me think of him

[imunbreakabledude]

I know Maevelena is your OTP but you're one of the authors who write Maevelander so well. Most Maevelander fanfics lack the dimension and substance you give.

Every time you post those random thoughts of yours about Maeve and Homelander, I always read them because you always point out how they can work even if it's just an AU, canon divergence,etc. My favorite ones so far you have blurbed out is young Maeve being adopted by Madelyn and that one post about what if Homelander told Maeve about Compound V before the events of season 2.

I've always wanted to see them in fanfic forms. Thank you so much for posting about this pairing because I don't see many talking about the depth and complications of their relationship 💖

anon, thanks so much for saying this, it means a lot to hear! I really like writing them too. it's funny because I am wholeheartedly a multishipper and don't buy in too heavily to "OTPs" but I suppose it's undeniable that maevelena is the relationship i fixate on the MOST and spend the most time with... largely because I've made up so much of it myself, lol, so there's a sense of freedom or almost imaginative ownership over it. or i guess just not being constricted much by canon or even accepted fanon because there ISN'T really any fanon for them besides what i go on and on about LMAO

anyway back to the point. i may not see maeve and homelander in the same "romantic happy endgame" way but they fascinate me just as much. specifically in that they AREN'T that. it's like they're fucked up friends, fake-dating, but also real soulmates, but not soulmates, actually toxic abusive spouses, but also strangers to each other, but also the only two people who are just as fucked up as each other, and have independently fucked up maternal relationships with the same toxic corporate maternal stand-in. so tasty! i could eat that shit every day! (I even regularly find myself trying to recreate "maeve and homelander but with the serial numbers filed off" in my original writing projects...)

and it's nice to hear that you enjoy my takes on it because - not that it matters, i think these thoughts about fictional characters regardless - often I feel that my vision on them is just not shared by many people lol. and I feel like part of it is due to who's there for what character*. painting real broad strokes with my generalization brush here - a lot of maeve fans are relatively less into detailed stuff of her with homelander, if it's not within a larger context of her having a romance with a female character. and on the other hand... (ooh, I could get into trouble for saying this, lmao not really, but just one time I posted a similar sentiment to this before and some stranger read it and thought it was specifically about them when it wasn't at all, and also literally wasn't meant in a negative fashion, but this person got very upset by it). ... most primarily-homelander fans seem to have a real different idea of Maeve and of Homelander & Maeve's relationship than I do. enough that I very rarely see other people's takes/fic about them that I vibe with. I do not mean this in a bad way! It's simply differences in personal opinions and taste. (I'm also just wildly picky about fic and fanon in general). At the same time, I am certain that the way I write Homelander probably feels wrong to a lot of people who are mainly fans of him. Y'know? (at a bare minimum, I am fully aware that I probably contradict small details of his established canon backstory at times, simply due to not rewatching and memorizing and double checking every detail about him the way I do about Maeve. lol)

I guess the funny thing about this pairing is that the two characters' general appeal/POV in the show is rather different, and also their relationship itself is not a major Selling Point in the show (for MOST PEOPLE, lol), thus there isn't a large "Maeve/Homelander" fandom, and thus creating the situation above. where it kinda feels like there's Homelander-oriented content imagining their relationship, and Maeve-oriented content imagining their relationship. I have noticed a similar trend, albeit slightly less so, when it comes to Maeve/Annie content - again, because the relationship isn't canon so there's not necessarily a unified Base for it, but it appeals to people who may be fans of either character slightly more than the other... but I often see slightly different Perceptions of maeveannie coming from people who seem to come at it from annie's angle vs. maeve's angle. if that makes sense. A pairing like maevelena doesn't super have that factor, though, given that it really just appeals to people who are there for Maeve, because, er, no one's looking up that ship for Elena (EXCEPT ME!!)

uhhh, anyway, back to the point. i have a handful of maeve/homelander concepts that are very vivid in my head - including those you mentioned, which I sometimes forget I've shared to some extent on tumblr before...! but I guess part of why I've never gone and written them into full-fledged fics is because I just wasn't certain there was an audience for it. or I guess I just don't know how to FIND the audience for it. 'cause I've written some maeve/homelander stuff I REALLY LOVE. It just happens to be in the form of flashback vignettes within my maevelena fic (which is not just about maevelena, but since people tend to categorize fics by what relationship is most dominant in it, in that sense, it's maevelena...). I've debated taking some of that stuff and posting it as oneshots to make it easier to find, but then I'm always like, are there really that many people searching for maeve/homelander content that would warrant this...?

i do have at least two more fics involving maeve/homelander in my WIPs right now tho... One is an extended form of that one you mentioned, where Maeve is raised by Madelyn and grows up in proximity to Homelander... the other which is also a combination story with maevelena but is maybe... sorta... maeve/homelander endgame? lol

anywho just rambling now, thanks a lot for letting me know you enjoyed this, and brb gonna go look up that 2nd post of mine you mentioned because I literally don't remember what i wrote about it and it sounds interesting

*disclaimer: of course, people do not have to be in fandom for one character primarily. i myself tend to reject that angle on fandom mostly... but this show is one notable exception for me, i will not deny that while i like the whole show, my fandom-fixation is mostly just for maeve. anecdotally, it seems that this is rather prevalent in the boys fandom with many people having one or a few characters they are primarily Here For and just mild/normal enjoyment for the rest. perhaps because it's such a large ensemble show.

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober’s prompt #2: Gloves

America’s Sweetheart (Homelander solo with a soupçon of Starlander)

Warnings: rated soft E or hard M. Cross-dressing elements.  HL pov and all that comes with that. Short. AO3 link.

Homelander can't understand a lot of things about Starlight. For someone who made her way into Vought’s top echelon of supes, she's still oddly attached to her unremarkable birth name (Maeve never insisted he call her Maggie, and The Deep and A-Train only use theirs for signing contracts). She was inexplicably dating a limp noodle of a man who was a mudperson. Homelander would have understood if it was someone with political clout or money, but Hugh had none of those things. And she periodically felt the need to speak out on camera about things that made everyone uncomfortable. In some ways, Homelander wonders if it was her infuriating behavior during rehearsals that inspired him into his own public tirade. Did she think she was the only one who could speak off the cuff?

Given all of these things, her rejection of the sexier improved uniform the Vought team attempted to update for her shouldn't surprise him. His new co-captain seems determined to wear that dowdy, prim little skirt-and-cape ensemble. Shoulder covered. No cleavage, no thigh high boots. He’s surprised she didn’t insist on a skirt that would cover her knees and go with a full Amish bonnet instead of a headband.

When he intrudes into her room to discuss his vision for the finale of Vought’s Next Top Superhero, he paces around idly, stopping in front of her closet and scanning through it. He’s pleased to discover that she never bothered to return her uniforms. Six identical outfits Vought manufactured for her that she snobbily rejected after a brief run were still hanging up, side by side, in the back of her closet. 

“Why won’t you wear this version?” he asks as he shoves the door open and pulls out the uniform that also has accessories on the hanger.

“Because it’s uncomfortable and obscene,” she says brusquely.

“What’s obscene is you wearing jeans and a t-shirt while you’re on the clock. It’s fucking unprofessional.”

“I’m in my own room!” She was already exasperated with him before, but is clearly even more on edge now. Maybe because she can guess that during his scan he also saw her vibrator stashed away in her underwear drawer. He did enjoy the brief mental image it gave him, but there’s no reason for him to bring it up and give her a hard time. If he really wanted to, he could listen for the buzzing sound at night and look through walls and floors to perv on her. But he’s not that obsessed with her.

“Your room is in Vought Tower, and 10 am is work hours by any definition, even a New Yorker's. So pull yourself together. Wear your old maid uniform, at least, if you can’t force yourself to wear this sexy one.”

“Sorry I can’t be like you and live in my suit 24/7. But I’d like to see you wear that thing and then tell me you’d want to spend time in it.”

Homelander’s mind feels like it shorts out and goes blank for a moment.

~~~

He brings the uniform he pulled out back to his own room. Starlight has no intention of wearing it or at least she didn’t voice any protest when he took it with him. He has no interest in the white and gold shapewear that might as well be a swimsuit and throws it on the bed, but he’s itching to touch the gold gloves and thigh-high boots. He remembers when he touched her gloves for the first time, holding hands as they walked down the red carpet after Translucent’s funeral. He was drawn to do it again down in the tunnels, patronizing her, grabbing her wrists as he told her to kill off her lowly on-again off-again boytoy. But he was touching them through his own thick gloves. It wasn't until assaulting her in the elevator that he really lost his mind over the way they felt as he snaked his hand down her body while she raised her arms up to protect herself.

Now he strips down with eagerness that surprises himself, and fucking moans when he touches her gloves with his bare hands. He tries to pull one of them on but to no avail. They’re small and tailored for thinner arms than his– and he’s so bad at estimating his own body size under the foam padding that he fully expected them to be able to stretch and fit. He can’t quite fit his feet into the boots either, even with the leg is unzipped all the way down to the ankle. All he can do is push his feet in as far as they will go, not quite able to fit his arch in, heel hanging over the edge.

This won’t do. 

~~~

When Homelander orders only the accessory pieces to Starlight’s deprecated uniform, but in a bigger size, the people in the costuming department look at him uncertainly.

“Is she wearing it again?” they ask, as if it's any of their business. “We weren’t aware her size changed.”

Homelander sighs at having to explain himself. “It’s not... for her. It’s for a different woman. Who’s a bit larger.” He realizes his tone sounds strange as he’s trying to come up with a good lie for why he needs this. “Can you just make them larger?”

“But sir, no one else is allowed to wear Starlight’s uniform, even the old version. It’s copyrighted…” the man with a ‘Steve’ nametag begins to stammer.

“Oh for crying out loud, this isn’t for wearing outside. It will only be worn behind closed doors, I promise you. And I trust I can ask to keep this discreet?”

The people behind the counter look at each other nervously, but smile appeasingly and nod and promise to deliver something for him in the next few weeks… days!, they quickly correct themselves when they see the irritation on his face at the long timeline.

~~~

He finds the package is delivered right to his door. Maybe the department downstairs were intimidated by him and dropped it off to avoid a conversation. Homelander thinks they’re being ridiculous. He’s given them no trouble, asked for no modification of his own suits– he’s requested very few changes since 1999. When he opens the box and unwraps the white tissue paper providing cushioning around the gloves and boots, he forgets all of his annoyance at them. The gloves are just like Starlight’s originals, not a knockoff material as he feared they might resort to if they no longer had the old one in stock. They’re thin and silky to the touch— and not very protective at all compared to his thick pleather ones. He strips down and tries to pull one of them on. It’s still a tight squeeze but he manages to get his hand into the glove, just a little too small. He can't really complain when he didn’t give them any exact specs. He pulls on the other glove too. They feel insanely good, smooth, lightweight, and he loves the feeling of them stretched all the way up to the middle of his upper arms. He sits on his bed and just rubs them up and down his own torso, touching his nipples, and running a hand down from his breastbone, past his navel and to his crotch. Its only takes a few strokes of his cock with the silky texture to get him hard. 

He pauses before riling himself up any further, and puts on the boots. They're also tight, but this time he can push his foot in and even zip up all the way up to mid-thigh. He walks to the mirror to really admire this, finding walking in heels unfamiliar but loving the extra height. He gets harder when he sees his pale, thin torso surrounded by gold-wrapped arms and legs. He's usually vaguely disgusted by seeing himself nude. His brain is used to the suit, and when it’s not hiding his deficiencies he looks bony, skinny, pathetic, as weak as he's afraid to be. But in this getup he enjoys being on the lean side. He keeps rubbing his hands up and down his torso, twisting and turning in front of the mirror, cupping his ass, shifting his weight from one leg to the other coyly, jutting his hips, even crouching down and doing an obscene spread of his legs. These gloves and boots are much more fun than his own, he is loath to admit.

Starlight’s an idiot. She had the best uniform in the Seven, if she had had any clue how to work it. She doesn’t seem to understand that part of her job being America’s Sweetheart on the Seven is having strong sex appeal, even if she’s marketed to be a little demure and provincial.

His cock is aching to be touched again, and he obliges, watching his motions in his reflection, coming with a groan all too quickly, and spraying the mirror’s surface despite standing more than a foot away.

[starsunfirelight]

A Literary Analysis of pov: dating homelander

A lesson in toxic relationships, for everyone to see-✨:sigh:

By: Me

July 14th, 2024

Most recently finished July 28th, 2024

Ah, where do I begin. This afternoon, I was looking through Spotify to find songs that reminded me of a theme. I liked TheKidLaroi’s recent release “GIRLS”, and I was wondering if there was an equivalent to this song from the opposite perspective. I remembered Charli xcx’s “Boys”, and I went to look that up. I found what I was looking for, but, while it did have a chorus related to “boys”, it thematically, felt kinda different. Oh well, there’s always another day, I guess. But in my search for more songs, I came across something, interesting. Something that would change my life forever. Introducing:

 pov: dating homelander by Beatrice bagelish

Now, when I first saw this, I got curious. I was familiar with the series, as it was something I’d seen before in my youtube recommended, but I had not watched the show. And, coincidentally, I had a conversation with someone who had seen the show not too long ago. So, curious, I took a listen. Sooner or later, I discovered, there was a story the author was trying to tell. Here is my understanding of the story:

Who is homelander?

Homelander is a character from Amazon Prime’s television show The Boys, a satirical take on superhero society, if they were to become real, as well as a reflection on real life current society, if you pay attention, close enough. In this show, Homelander is known as an over the top, cartoonishly American superhero, who is nationalistic, and is meant to be the villain, though we see the show through his viewpoint. He resembles real life political figures like former president Donald Trump, among others. I have not seen the show, but through watching clips and reading a synopsis of the show, this is what my assumptions are about the show and his character.

The title

The title of this playlist is “pov: dating homelander”. The title is stylized in lower case, indicating that the title follows a meme format, popularized by TikTok, where people would film themselves acting out certain scenarios, from a character’s point of view. Though, in my experience, most people show the character from a 2nd or 3rd person point of view, rather than a first person point of view. Regardless, the idea is there, and the character they are talking about is intended to be somewhere in the video, whether literally or figuratively. From this, we can guess that this playlist, if it followed typical spotify playlist etiquette, could go in a few directions. Is it meant to be a playlist of songs that a person potentially dating Homelander would listen to? It is meant to be a playlist of songs that Homelander would listen to if he were dating someone, though that would be a misinterpretation of the title? (something that you can’t rule out, as this happens on Tiktok). Is it meant to be a playlist consisting of the “general vibe” of the situation? Is it meant to be a playlist featuring songs that play out this scenario, from a third person point of view? Is it meant to be a playlist from all of the perspectives? Could it somehow be a combination of all of these things? I guess, we’ll just have to listen, and just wait and see.

Also, a note here after listening to the whole playlist, pov: dating homelander doesn’t specify that you’re the one dating Homelander, so we get to see the whole situation from multiple different points of view! :D Oh boy, you’re in for a ride!

What is the importance of the picture of the playlist?

The picture of the playlist accompanies the title pov: dating homelander. There is writing in the TikTok font, which confirms the relation to the meme from TikTok that was mentioned earlier. Also the fact that they are referencing TikTok specifically, when it could also be something that appears on YT shorts or Instagram Reels. They also include a picture of Homelander, and the caption reads: “I can fix him”. They included a picture of Homelander to show, pictorially, the character that they are referring to, in case they had a different “vision” in their head, but also, the pose seems to be a generic pose from the show. Perhaps season 1? He looks proud, and stands tall, almost as if he is looking at the person that the playlist mentions that he is dating. So it appears, at first glance, that everything seems to be going well. Perhaps the author chose a generic frame, to make sure that it fit the playlist as a whole, kind of like a book cover, in a sense. Either way, for whatever reason, this picture sets the tone for what to expect, going into the playlist.

There is a caption on the photo that reads “I can fix him”. This implies that the person dating Homelander is doing so, not because they desire a stable and happy relationship, but because they believe that by being in the relationship, they can change Homelander’s known problematic behaviors to be ones that are… less so. They know that he is problematic, yet they romanticize a “fixed” version of him in their head, much like is common in real life relationships. This is toxic, however, and ultimately, most people find out that they will never be able to fix the person that they are trying to fix, and they must face a decision of whether or not to walk away from the relationship themselves. People cannot change, unless they are willing to change themselves. And, knowing Homelander, it is foolish to think that he could change. This is a fictional setting, so the kind of person that would date Homelander would certainly not be a person who believes in a healthy, stable, co-nurturing relationship, so in order for this playlist to be more realistic to the character, it makes sense that the person dating Homelander would not know that the relationship is toxic, or else they would have left a long time ago. From what I’ve seen of the playlist so far, and keeping this theme in mind, I think at first we will encounter their initial naïvete in the initial stages of their relationship, only for the person dating Homelander to eventually realize that they really can’t “fix him”, and make the heartbreaking decision to move on, which is what is ultimately better for them.

Now, onto the actual playlist!!

Arc 1: The honeymoon phase

Note, I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, and didn’t really start to do that until I got to the Lana songs. Also, some of the lyrics were not available through Spotify. But it’s ok to summarize the playlist arcs, or this would be really long lol.

(We know that in this pov, the person dating Homelander is a woman, as I presume Homelander is aggressively nationalist American, for the memes, but also because of songs you’ll see later on) Here, the girl, and Homelander are just having a great time. They have just started dating, and they listen to classically American songs, as is reminiscent of Homelander’s character. Though, there is a message within the patriotic songs that this isn’t right, with the song “Tainted Love”. Crucified has a message of “I know this isn’t right, but leave me alone.” We’ll see Christian imagery come up time and time again. This goes on for a while. All the way up until Layla, I imagine. Here, we see a shift, as this song still has that classic American feel, but it has no lyrics. Perhaps, this is where the girl starts to have a shift in mood.

Arc 2: Trouble in Paradise

The musics stops being highkey energetic, and is more lowkey.

Here, with GOLDWING, we get a song telling someone to remain pure and untraumatized, as the interpretation on Genius reads. This could be a message to Homelander, as the girl naïvely thinks that the critics are all wrong, and Homelander should stay just the way he is. It could also, and I think this is the more likely interpretation, be a message to the girl dating Homelander to please stop seeing him, as things could go bad real soon, if she doesn’t get out.

Later the girl probably realizes that she doesn’t really like Homelander and dates a girl instead, like in Good Luck, Babe! → LUNCH

I looked ahead to the songs I recognized

Alright, here’s the full summary:

Alright, so it’s been a few days, and I think I’m ready to tell you what happened. Sit down, because it’s a long one. 

Ok.

First, Homelander and the girl were all happy. Yeah, sure, the girl knew it was toxic, but who cares! Meanwhile, we have the other girl, who stares at their relationship longingly, knowing it’s not right, and hopes that she would be better off dating her instead. We get a message, saying girl, don’t let yourself be harmed and go through all this trauma. Well, if she did hear it, she definitely ignored it. Important to note, they have kids, whether it was from a previous arrangement, or together. Also, the girl is rich, has tan skin, was from the streets, but she sure knows how to make a man go crazy over her. Well, after a while, the initial excitement of the relationship wears off, and things start to not seem as perfect as it was at the start. Homelander is kinda detached, starts partying around and seeing other girls, and he just mainly sees the girl as a toy. The girl, kinda feeling dejected, goes to see the other girl, and they have an affair. She spoils her with her wealth, and they just have a good time. Homelander eventually catches wind of this, and he’s furious. The two of them have a big argument, and then they break up. We see a song that doesn’t make sense right now, but really, it’s foreshadowing what’s going to happen in the future. A whole “half your age” thing comes up. I might be missing something here. But anyways. Moving along. Homelander is miffed, and he’s upset that she would do this to him. But, as time goes on, he starts falling for her, and realizing what he missed. He gets crazy, and starts stalking her, begging her to get back together with him. Eventually, he’s had enough. He’s out for blood. Out for revenge. If he can’t have her, no one can. He threatens to bomb a school, unless she marries him, and the girl, fearing for her life, agrees.

…

Years pass, and the two of them are married. They have the kids, and the household is dysfunctional, yet seems to be running alright from the point of view of the public eye. The other girl, remembers her, and knows that they are in a unhappy relationship. (For the girl, anyway.) She seeks out the girl, finds her, and they have a fling. But, the girl won’t commit to the relationship, and pushes her away. This troubles the other girl. Homelander finds out, and he assaults her. He then tries to manipulate her into staying in the relationship by asking “remember all the good times we had?” but she starts to realize just how bad of a person Homelander really is. The other girl gives her the confidence/encourages her to fight back, and then Homelander goes away. He swears to get revenge, but just as that thought is forming in his brain, Homelander dies. The causes are unknown, though I assumed it was a lightning strike of divine intervention. Or just a coincidence. He is punished hard in the afterlife, while going “tell me, this must have been a mistake!!!” 

Now the two girls are happy together. But. oh boy, this is where the real/even worse trouble begins.

At first, they are happy together. But, due to the girl’s internalized homophobia, (we don’t explicitly see the fact that this is a girl, but there were some references throughout so it’s a reasonable conclusion to make), she leaves the other girl.  She later explains how her father/her neglectful not really loving parents were the ones who made her feel this way. Still doesn’t excuse her from being evil though :shruggie:. The girl deals with this breakup poorly, turning to drugs and fame, and gambling! and other people. Through some series of events, they end up meeting again. The other girl is still committed, almost too much, to loving the girl. They “So… can we start over? Can we just be friends?” “Sure :)” They try it out for a while. They have a party time and then the girl explains all her trauma and backstory to the other girl. Again, this doesn’t excuse her from being an evil person :/. The other girl can’t take it anymore, she loves the girl too much. She confesses that she doesn’t just wanna be friends. She is like “please, just let me love you! I love you, why don’t you love me? Why do you insist on leaving me? 🥺” and frankly, starts to consider leaving her, at this rate. The girl is like “Noo, I’m broken, I like to break things, and I’m a horrible person!” (the other girl like you should just believe her at this point.) They still haven’t committed to seeing each other yet 😑. They have a mini breakup, and the girl like immediately starts seeing someone else. She talks to the other girl about them on the phone, and the other girl smiles at the girl’s pain.

Now, this part is a bit unclear to me, but I think, essentially,

 Eventually, the other girl decides that she has had enough. She’s gonna become Mr. Bad Guy. 

At some point here, the girl moves out of the other girl’s place she was staying at, and the other girl is like getting disinterested in the girl, like apathy and bitter resentment.

One fine day, she goes out and kills this person, leaving them to die in the girl’s arms. Now, they were both there, so either one of them could get in trouble for this. (The other girl: I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my issues.) (Though, it’s better than that and more well characterized in the playlist.) 

Or, the girl decided to murder them herself! Like Homelander threatened to do to her, years ago.

She couldn’t handle her own internalized homophobia, and just decided to kill them, to stop the pain.

 So, now, there are no obstacles left for the two of them being together. So, the other girl is like, “Why aren’t we together yet?” The girl starts liking her back. Almost… obsessively. The other girl, however, sees her own worth, and although they had like a movie date, starts finding real love and true fulfillment with the new girl she met earlier. She already mentally gave up on the girl a while ago. The other girl and the new girl meet up, and they kinda have a lovely affair. Then, it kinda feels like the situation when the girl was married to Homelander, in the sense that they’re in a relationship together, but the other girl isn’t happy. Also, there is the murder charge still on the loose, and they have to deal with that somehow. Just… not now. The girl has secrets, and she’s involved in some real shady business, as far as I can tell. Telling secrets in her sleep? Knowing who’s calling even though the number is blocked? Eventually, the girl decides to leave, (no, don’t go! -the other girl), on the run for her murder charges I think, and the other girl is “I’ll know wherever you go. You might be able to hide from other people, but you can’t hide from me.” They go long distance. But, the other girl finally has had it with the girl, they break up for like the third time and this time they have an argument and the other girl forces the girl to face her internalized homophobia, and basically decides to leave the girl for good. “Fine. You can date all the boys you want, just know that that will never be able to get rid of your true feelings. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”  

The other girl finds the new girl she met earlier (or maybe for the first time!), and they have a great time. Especially since it’s being reciprocated in such a sweet way ☺️. The new girl is a bit apprehensive, but the other girl is like “come on! don’t be shy! 🙂” and they’re falling in love. The other girl mentions, why aren’t we living together? (I think it’s from how they’re still in a long distance relationship, but it looks like it could be for the new girl here instead.) idk!

Gonna have to go back for that one!

 But here, we get another prophecy/foreshadowing song. This is supposed to tease the idea that even though Homelander may be dead, his ideas are not. And if you haven’t noticed already, the girl is well on her way to becoming Homelander 2.0. (:O this was a huge shocker to me when I was first listening to this playlist, and I think this is around the time that it all finally started to click for me.)  Then, the girl finds out that the other girl was cheating on her, (cuz like they still hadn’t made their on again off again relationship official???) and that’s when this time, the other girl fights back! They are now over for good! 😀 The girl realizes just how much she loves the other girl (Oh would you look at that, just like Homelander! 😀) and the other girl is nicer than the girl, so like the girl doesn’t die. But she starts getting all stalker and obsessive, just like Homelander did. The other girl ends up in jail, now that the girl wouldn’t cover for her murder charges, and maybe pins it on the other girl (“See? I have connections, thanks to being the wife of Homelander. Now, if you’d just love me back, I’d pay your $250,000 bail! I’m rich, remember?” “Yea No. 😐” “Ok… whatever you say.” and she leaves.)  Well, anyways. It’s over now! Party time with the new girl who actually loves her back!!!!! 😀  The girl tries coming back, but the other girl isn’t having it. The trauma affected her a little bit, but the new girl reassures her, so it’s all ok. This is nothing like before. That’s all in the past. Now, they have each other. 🙂 You try to mess with me? The AUDACITY! Coming back after all of this? No, I don’t think so. Get away. So, the girl looks on, sad, seeing them happy in public, “Was I not enough? 😔 (NO, and you should have done better, girl)” and the two girls the other girl and the new girl live happily every after. The other girl knows her love is real love this time. ☺️ The End.

(we know it’s a new girl because of songs like good luck, babe! and more importantly, LUNCH! :D) Waterloo is the perfect end to this all, because it wraps up the lesson that we learned, that history will repeat again, time and time again, and they end up getting married. YAY!!!!! 🥳 🎉 🎊 💒 👰‍♀️👰‍♀️💍 💕 💘 :happily ever after, The end! 💗🩷 🎈🙂 🔚

She knows her love is real this time

Character cards:

Homelander: Loud, aggressive, toxic, charming, the villain

Songs/Artists: Charlie, Fall Out Boy

Headcannon brown hair -> black, brown skin

The girl: rich neglectful parents who don’t really love her, but she knows how to get what she wants, is from the streets, looks like Esmerelda, rocks a dress in pink, pearls, loves to spoil her girlfriend, has status and power after marrying Homelander, has kids, also is hot to people, really knows how to get men to love her, for some reason (or maybe that’s just Homelander idk)

Lana, Crazy Girls idk wow we don’t really see her perspective as much, huh Guys My Age

Marina, unfortunately. I mean, if the shoe fits? 🤷‍♀️

Madonna is like them (the girl and the other girl) together :0 

Headcannon brown hair dyed blonde -> black, pale skin but idk

The other girl: Not rich, poor, sweet, soft, butch, (or is the girl a butch? Update: more lore makes the latter more likely???), loves the girl, is strong, and wants her to leave her relationship with Homelander, is very hot to everyone, seasoned traveler, a world renowned heartbreaker, guess it was never that serious until she met her 🥹, is younger than both of them(?) a hopeless romantic 💕

Lesley Gore, Harry Styles, Brittany Spears, Lady Gaga

Lily Allen describes her to a tee>>>ya! Oh D:

The New Girl: Trusting, loyal, kind, sweet, a work of art, actually knows what a healthy relationship looks like…

Songs: Sarah Smiles? Nah, You Should Be Dancing, Got To Be Real, the good girl in Karma, etc. Waterloo :) (they’re endgame! Lol)

Charlie’s Inferno into Here Comes The Sun is DIABOLICAL

You can feel the sun in that song….. ☀️ ☁️ ⛰️ 🌊

and now the universe is giving me what I deserve - karma

Side note, there are tons of brilliant callbacks in this playlist. Like, I didn’t think that the fact that the girl was rich would be mentioned after the first time, but it remains a recurring theme throughout. It even serves as a way to symbolize whose perspective we are seeing, most of the time (until perhaps the very end of the playlist, when perhaps the other girl has acquired wealth of her own.) We see songs that foreshadow future events, like GOLDWING, Rumor Has It, and Happy Nation.

-other continuing themes

-Homelander was a cannibal in the figurative sense, and then so became the girl

-Homelander used campy and upbeat songs to symbolize his craziness, and as the girl gets more deranged, the songs become more upbeat and campy.

-Each character has a distinctive style of song they get attached to, and there are some recurring artists that usually symbolize one character.

-Homelander mentions wanting to die, then threatening to blow up the school

-the girl having brown skin (Esmerelda, Harry Styles)

-the use of happy, sunny songs after escaping from a bad relationship is just wow

-using the same song twice really sells the idea that the girl really has become Homelander 2.0

-the whole history repeats itself theme was brilliant, and I really did not see that coming. 

-loving you is cherry pie comes up again, lol

The Ballad of Mona Lisa

There’s nothing wrong with a little taste of what you paid for

WHAT DOES THAT LINE MEAN?????

within the context of this plotline, I mean

Please tell me!

-payed for the alcohol with money

-payed for the relationship??? No??? What?? Why 😭

The other girl has been giving so much and getting little to nothing in return 🥺

The rumor has it foreshadowing happens after the fight with homelander, hmm what a strange place to put it

But I guess it makes sense.

You leave me, I leave you!

Like the story gets all hectic and busy after this, and like this is a good place to put it like as a filler episode,, and like a break from all the action from the before and after this takes place

Songs mesh together really well, and it’s giving theater kid! But like, I feel like the amount of talent and skill it takes to make a playlist like this kinda require it

Most of the songs are super popular songs, and also popularized from tiktok

Makes sense given the title and picture on the playlist cover

Back to the main story!!!! (after the commercial break after Rumor Has It lol)

Batphone

I sell the fact that I can’t be bought

Line hits hard after you know the context by this part of the playlist

The other girl used to get spoiled by the girl, but she isn’t taking it anymore. She’s done.

It’s crazy the lore Billie puts in. I mean, the bail? It’s huge! An exact number???? WOw.

Good luck babe!

I told you a lie, that you were the love of my life

Was it casual, now?

Cuz girls is players, too.

>I said it all before and I’ll say it again

>I’m interested in more than just being your friend

She’s said it to the girl before, and got rejected, and now we have her! 

It’s like you can feel the whole world collapsing in on that statement

The girl picked up smoking, just like Homelander

-smokin out the window’

-exes house

-lay all your love on me

The girl also wasn’t treating it seriously, until she fell in love in Lay All Your Love On Me

Like the last half of the playlist really kills it

Or maybe it’s because I can really understand that part, and the message is clear post foreshadowing with happy nation

L’amour de ma vie and I will survive are like oddly perfect for what went down over here.

This story serves as a cautionary tale, that we should all be well aware of. It’s the foundational basis for the feeling in the song Casual by Chappell Roan. Oh yeah, now you know why she was bitter (if you didn’t already know, and in that case, I’m so sorry for you 😭) This story tells us many things. Just because you're the protagonist of a story, doesn’t mean you can’t do wrong. Just because a person is a woman, doesn’t mean they can’t be a manipulative conniving abusive partner, like you might have expected from other people. (Really, this could be everyone. Anyone is capable of this, and that’s important to know.)

This story lets you reexamine biases that you may not even know that you had.

I mean, there are always villains in media. But when’s the last time you’ve seen a villain be a woman? And a lesbian, at that? 🤔

Blew my mind. (kinda sad I hadn’t seen it before, I should have expected it, tbh)

This playlist taught me a lesson, and they taught it well.

Good and bad can come in many forms, it’s all just a matter of perspective

History repeats itself. The cycle of abuse repeats itself. That was the main theme of this story, I think.

Just because someone is a person who suffered from abuse, doesn’t exempt them from becoming an abuser later on. In fact, it’s super likely.

The abused become the abusers

It takes a special kind of person to love someone really messed up

And like sometime that ain’t a good thing

Don’t give it all away to someone who can’t even love you back >:(

save your tears for another day

I understand a fraction of Chappell Roan’s pain 😔😔👍

“I can fix him” NO YOU CAN’T. LEAVE< NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The author could be reflecting on their own real life experience, which makes me really sad 😥

I’m going to leave you with this song, as a conclusion, while you see the list of patreons on screen. Thank you. And have a good day! 😀

California - Chappell Roan

Casual - Chappell Roan (this one hurts so maybe not 😖)

This album literally changed my life. I am now, forever changed, I carry the burden of the lives I lived, used to know, and maybe somedays will be. Beatrice bagelish, this one’s for you.

I can’t be who I was anymore. I literally became an adult because of you. Chappell Roan may have taught me the ways, but you made me grow up. I will remember this, forever. Even though I may forget, the feeling will be carried with me, til the end of time. I can’t ignore who I am anymore. ( just really love this music in the playlist, and can’t deny that I love it anymore.)

[love-bokumono-fics]

Fresh Crops! September 2 - September 8, 2024

This week's newest fics and chapter updates for Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons on AO3!

Rainy Days - by Perversions; Complete, 1/1, 1.4k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: M/M Fandoms: Save the Homeland Relationships: Kurt/Toy; Characters: Kurt, Toy Additional Tags: **NOTE: Some tags have been removed to remain Safe For Tumblr. Please see AO3 for complete list** Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Crushes, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Bottom Kurt, Top toy, Hand Jobs, First Time, Unsafe Sex Summary: Kurt is visited by Toy one night. Things get unexpectedly a little heated.

Farmboy Forever - by foxcassius; Complete, 1/1, 13k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: M/M Fandoms: A Wonderful Life Relationships: Male Farmer/Gustafa; Characters: Gustafa, Male Farmer, Original Characters, Muffy | Molly, Nami, Cody | Gordy Additional Tags: Gustafa POV, Canon Compliant, Man I’m really not good at AO3 tags. Give the fic a shot, this one is for all the other mlm hell yeah, Fluff, First Kiss, First Dates, This fic tells the story of the first year of the game thru the pov of gustafa, With a highlight on romance with the farmer Summary: The tale of a world-traveled musician and the farmboy he fell in love with.

Don't Eat Flowers - by Maymist; Complete, 29/29, 68k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/F Fandoms: A Wonderful Life, DS Cute Relationship: Nami/Pony | Aya | Jill; Characters: Nami, Pony | Aya | Jill, Rock, Reader Additional Tags: Lesbian Character, Inspired by Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons, Mentions of Other Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons Games, Blue Feather, Romance, LGBTQ Character, POV Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship Summary: The new farmer girl in Forgotten Valley attempts to give Nami some flowers to, er… totally give the hint that she's romantically interested in the very much reserved tomboyish red-head. Nami completely jumps to conclusions and misunderstands though, and that's where this silly romance begins. What kind of other madness will ensue?

Burning Gold - by AppleBeryll; WIP, 10/?, 25k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M Fandom: Friends of Mineral Town Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Gray, Gray/Mary the Librarian | Mari, Claire the Farmer/Rick, Karen/Rick, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran/Cliff, Kai/Popuri; Characters: Kai, Claire, Cliff, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Doug | Dudley, Rick, Popuri, Saibara, Karen, Mineral Town Residents, Gray Additional Tags: Slow Burn Summary: Claire seeks a new life, will mineral town be what she's hoping for ?

Reject Me - by almakazam; Complete, 1/1, 2.2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M Fandoms: Island of Happiness, Sunshine Islands Relationship: Chelsea/Mark; Characters: Chelsea, Mark Additional Tags: One Shot, Love Confessions, Awkward Romance, Rewrite, Chelsea is mad, Chelsea Swears, Chelsea is a tsundere, And Mark is a dense idiot, Swearing, Tsunderes, Love Letters, my god i remember this, yeah i wrote him a letter and tried to get it back when he would NOT reject me Summary: How frustrating it is to fall in love with someone so dense, so immature, so carefree… so lovable.

If a Carpenter Falls in a Forest - by Trans_Nerd; Complete, 1/1, 1.5k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: M/M Fandoms: Animal Parade Relationship: Harvest King Ignis/Luke the Carpenter; Characters: Harvest King Ignis, Luke the Carpenter Additional Tags: Gay Male Character, One Shot, Fluff and a little Plot, Mind Control, those two tags do not contradict each other I promise Summary: That morning, Ignis hadn’t paid much attention to Luke. He tried not to make a habit of staring at eye candy for too long, for he had a whole island of residents to look after. But then, while monitoring the main part of town that evening, Luke's heart cried out for help from Fugue Forest.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 1: Are You Always Like This?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you’re around him the more you hate him, but you can’t help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Implied/Eventual), Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Fake Dating

Word Count: 7.4 K (OOPS)

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+/Mature because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, violence. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

A/N: I know I know, I should be working on "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love," but this idea was swirling around in my head and I had to write it.

Spotify Playlist 🪴

Masterlist

Take A Chance On Me Masterlist

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

"Alright Butcher, I'm done." You sigh closing the file in front of you and standing from the worn wooden table covered in empty Chinese food containers and stacks of papers almost as tall as you. "If I read another word about trying to stop an electrical current, I'm going to commit toaster bath and I'm taking you with me."

It was late, past two in the morning, but Butcher had a lead on a B-list supe that had been using his electrical powers to steal cars and run a chop shop business downtown. You had been close to catching him yesterday, so close in fact that your eyebrows were still a little crispy from when he shot a bolt of lightning at your face that you only dodged in the nick of time when Soldier Boy grabbed the back of your shirt and yanked you out of the way. Unfortunately, your shirt hadn't survived, it had ripped and you spent the rest of the day wearing one of Butcher's oversize Hawaiian shirts all the while Soldier Boy told you that it was a waste to keep a pretty little figure like yours covered up.

I hate him so much.

When Butcher had initially asked you to join his team a month ago you were excited, but then you found out that you were going to be stuck with Soldier Boy. The supe, that despite Annie's arguments should be given back to the government and put on ice, was allowed to join Butcher's team after he took down Homelander. Who was currently frozen on ice, somewhere. As long as Homelander was far from you, you didn't care. The guy gave you the creeps.

But the team still couldn't figure out where the electricity manipulating supe was hiding or where he was dropping the cars, which meant you had spent the past twelve hours staring at files and a computer screen so hard that you felt like your brain going to melt out of your ears.

"Do whatever ya want kid. I'm not ya damn babysitter." Butcher grunts, his face hidden behind his own file. His boots were on the table and he was leaning back in his chair so far that you were tempted to tip him over, all it would take was a good solid kick.

You smile at him. Butcher was adept at pretending that he didn't want you around, of course you knew how antsy he got when you weren't there to offer your opinion. You figured that he just liked pushing people away and given his history you understood that.

Annie sits up from where she and Hughie are cuddling on the couch. "Why don't you stay?" Her brow furrows with worry. Annie was big on the whole, "women not walking at home alone at night thing," which normally you didn't, but you figured that whatever was waiting outside the apartment was probably less intimidating than Homelander. And you could handle it.

"Because I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight and not that godforsaken rickety cot in the corner that Frenchie got. Can't stand that one spring that always seems so happy to see me." You pull your leather jacket off of the back of the chair and whirl it around your shoulders, before bringing your hair out from under the collar.

Hughie snorts.

"Hey, that cot is an antique!" Frenchie crows from his highbacked chair spewing a mouthful of smoke into the air. Kimiko was sitting at the coffee table in front of him working on her writing, a thick black marker clutched in her hand. MM was taking the night off, but you thought he was probably trying to avoid Soldier Boy.

"Yeah well, that cot is about as old as grandpa over there." You gesture to where Soldier Boy is sitting in another one of the armchairs in the corner watching you while puffing on a joint.

He was always watching you and due to your inability to read his mind it made it difficult for you to gauge what he was thinking, but you assumed that it was the usual macho crap he spouted 100% of the time. But he wasn't checking you out, well this time he wasn't. You had caught him staring at your butt more than once, and he'd made several comments about exactly what he'd like to do to you, but right now an emotion glimmered behind his eyes that you couldn't place.

Soldier Boy stands from the chair. He was wearing a dark t-shirt that stretched over his chest and a pair of blue jeans that fit him just right, well, if you were looking at that. You were, but it was easier to pretend that you weren't. It was easier to pretend that he wasn't the most attractive man you'd ever seen in your life.

Damn it, why does someone so attractive have to be such a dick?

 "A lady like you shouldn't be walking home alone this late." He frowns at you.

"Like me?" You arch an eyebrow.

"Good thing she ain't a lady." Butcher chuckles at his joke

You punch him hard on the arm, not enough to break it, but enough to make it hurt.

“Bloody hell woman.” Butcher rubs his sore bicep shooting you an angry look.

Not many people could look intimidating while wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but Butcher pulled it off. Not many people looked good in a Hawaiian shirt either, but Butcher pulled that off too.

"I'm serious." Soldier Boy's eyes narrow.

"Oh now you're so chivalrous?" You cock your hip to the side, planting your hands on your hips. "Didn't you try to kill me last month?"

"To be fair, you were trying to kill me-"

"Because you were trying to kill Annie. Where was the chivalry when you tried to tear me apart with your bare hands?"

"There are plenty of other things I'd like to do to you with my bare hands sweetheart." His grin turns wolfish. "I'd be happy to show you sometime, perhaps you'd like some company?"

"I'd rather spend an hour with that ancient spring than roll around with you." You tap your lip thoughtfully. “Then again I’m sure that cot is the same age as you and it can at least get it up.”

Annie muffles a snort behind her hand.

“Last time I checked everything was working, perhaps you’d like to see for yourself?” Soldier Boy smirks.

 "Can't you keep in your pants for once?" Butcher sighs, tilting the file downward to glare at Soldier Boy.

You can't help but smile at Butcher's response. Butcher might have tried to push you away, but even you could see his protective instincts. That became wildly apparent whenever you went out on a mission alone and although you would think that it was annoying for someone to think they needed to protect you, in Butcher's case you made an exception.

Soldier Boy rolls his eyes. "She shouldn't walk home alone."

You wave your hand over the wilting fern on the kitchen counter, eyes shifting to green for a moment as it perks up. It was the only plant in the house and although six people lived in this apartment, not one ever remembered to water it. "And you shouldn't butt into my business."

Soldier Boy opens his mouth to speak, but Annie interrupts his train of thought.

"Wait y/n. Coffee tomorrow?" Annie asks ignoring them. She's sitting up from the couch, her body turned towards you with both of her hands on the back cushions. 

She was one of your best friends, well, really one of your only friends. You'd grown up together and when Annie moved to New York you had decided to move and take some college classes in the city while you worked at a small garden shop after class part time.

The owner still couldn't figure out why nothing you cared for seemed to die.

You usually kept your status as a supe on the down low, and only used your powers when you really had to, which wasn't often before you joined Butcher's team. You'd only lasted two semesters before Annie came to ask you for help finding Soldier Boy and after that, Butcher asked you to join his team for shit pay. You accepted but you still worked at the garden shop part-time, also for terrible pay, but you loved it there.

Your powers made it easy to make sure nothing died and sometimes it felt like home being surrounded by plants. Caring for them was the one thing you seemed to be good at, and sometimes they felt like family.

You didn't have much family left, beside your grandmother and your older brother who still lived back in Des Moines, and sometimes it was lonely in the city. Annie was the only person who you'd been able to connect with since you moved, and now that you weren't going to classes the friends you made in college didn't really understand what you were doing with your life.

And telling them "oh I hunt down supes for a living and sometimes kill them" didn't really sound like something you could say in passing. It also did wonders for your dating life… NOT.

"Sorry babe, I'm at the shop tomorrow. But I'm off at 3 if you want to get coffee after?" You hold open the front door of the apartment, looking back at her expectantly.

You hated blowing Annie off, especially since the two of you hadn't been able to hang out outside of missions mostly because she was spending all her time with Hughie.

"Sounds great!" She beams.

And with that you disappear out down the hallway and into the night.

It's raining as you walk down the desolate streets. Cars splash water over the gum covered sidewalks that soaks through your tennis shoes and makes every step against the ground squish. But you ignore it.

You usually loved when it rained, loved to feel the cooling water pool against your skin, loved to hear the soft patter of it against the windows of your apartment, loved the earthy smell that came with the drops, but not tonight. You were still thinking about Soldier Boy.

You don't know why you let him get under your skin so much. You'd met men like him in the past and it was usually easy for you to brush them off, but not him.

I mean yes he is gorgeous, and maybe kind of charming when he's not trying to get into my pants, but I don't want just a one night fling. I want what Annie and Hughie have.

You think about your best friend and her loving boyfriend. You tried not to be jealous, but it was hard when the last time you had a lasting relationship was your first boyfriend back in high school who, when he found out you were a supe, was only interested if you had the power to shape shift into someone 'a little more busty.' The relationship ended with you locking him in a tree and the fire department having to come cut him out. He was fine, maybe a little more green than a normal person, but...

You'd heard that he got a job from the Green Giant Vegetable Company doing cameos as the Jolly Green Giant. So if anything, you helped him have a career?

Annie and Hughie were both head over heels in love with each other, knew everything about each other, didn't have any secrets, and it wasn't just sex, it was a close relationship with someone else who understood every part of you. You wanted that; and as much as you had avoided relationships in the past due to your supe status, you still hoped to find a supe that was kind and didn't think that they were a god for what they could do.

Why do so many have a god complex?

You think again about Soldier Boy. That wasn't the first time he had tried to coax you into bed and it wouldn't be the last, that was for sure. At first you had hoped that he would give up, it had been a month since you'd met, but he was still going strong, despite having a different woman in that apartment almost every night.

Maybe he's just really horny after being trapped in a lab all these years. Then again- You remember all the articles you read about him from the 80s, the ones that recorded his numerous escapades and think about his founding of Herogasm.

Maybe he's always like that, but he never comes on to Annie or Kimiko, only me. And I've threatened castration multiple times. You'd think he would care more about that than anything else.

You consider with a frown, clutching your jacket tighter around you. Rain trickled down from your hair and under the collar of your jacket to soak into your t-shirt. Your once light blue jeans were soaked to a dark navy with the amount of water that splashed up from the road and dripped down your back. For the first time in forever, you wished that it wasn't raining.

Probably should have just gotten a cab, but it's so expensive and-

"Hey baby." Someone calls from behind you.

Can't I just walk home without being hit on? One time?

"Not interested." You shout back, continuing to squish down the cracked sidewalks.

Three shadows peel off the wall of shops to your left blocking your path forward. Each is wearing a dark colored hoodie hiding their faces from view.

Is my luck really this bad? I never hear about Annie getting mugged or Hughie. And Hughie definitely looks wimpier than me.

"Don't be like that baby." The man behind you says.

You half turn your body so you can see all your supposed attackers at once. There are actually two men behind you, both wearing similar hoodies to the three now standing on your right.

Oh look they color coordinated their outfits… cute.

The man opens his mouth again.

"I'm gonna stop you right there." You hold up a finger. "I've been dealing with a horny 104 year old  geriatric man all day long. Please don't push me right now." It was an attempt to warn them, but you knew they probably wouldn’t listen to you.

No one ever does.

"Sounds like you need someone to relax with." The man smirks steeping forward to grab your arm. "I'd be happy to ease some of that tension baby."

"Look. I'm going to give you a chance to walk away. To avoid making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. Because honestly you all have the worst luck in the world." You jerk your arm away from him.

"I like em feisty.” He purrs stepping forward again while the others laugh. “Come on baby-“

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. You grab him around the throat, lifting him in the air like he weighs nothing, your eyes beginning to glow a brilliant green.

“I did try to warn you.”

"She's a supe!" He shouts struggling against your grip.

You throw him backwards into the other man standing to your right before facing the men on your left. Each one has pulled out a knife preparing to rush towards you.

"I get it. Y’all are out late, you bought matching outfits, but do we really have to-“

The first one rushes you, waving his knife through the air in a frantic dance. He doesn't get the chance to make contact with your arm. Vines erupt out of the pavement, breaking through the cracks in the concrete, binding themselves around the man who lets out a savage cry, quickly silenced while the vines continue to wrap around his body until there's nothing left but a mass of struggling green foliage on the pavement and some muffled screams.

He's lucky, could have had him dragged back under ground.

His friends stand there for a moment, eyeing one another as if they're not sure what just happened. You can practically see them trying to decide if you're still worth the trouble.

“Anyone else?”

The battle that follows is swift, the sound of cracking bones and the soft thud of punches landing echo over the soft patter of rain in the night as you dodge their blows and land your own against them. The vines continue to spread outward snatching up the men who fall to the ground in front of you, dragging each one up the street light above that sends yellowed light over the desolate streets. By now each bound body hangs from above like a sack of meat in a meat cooler, moving with the struggling men inside while the muffled cries shatter the still silence of the night.

Sometimes it's really too easy.

And as you begin to turn back someone grabs you by the hair, yanking you into their sweaty embrace. The leader's hot breath sticks to your cheeks, the cool metal of his switchblade pressing down so hard on your throat that you feel the pinprick of blood begin to form under the tip.

“What are you gonna do now bitch?” He snarls in your ear.

"Give you one more chance to surrender." You spit.

Like I'm going to give him the satisfaction of me begging for my life.

"I'm gonna enjoy this-" The man begins to say, pressing the knife deeper into your throat, but the rest of his sentence is cut off with a strangled cry as he's pulled away from you.

 What the hell just-

You turn around, freezing in shock.

Soldier Boy is crouching there in his t-shirt, jacket, and jeans over the man who just had a knife to your throat. His fist rising and falling as he punches the man in the face.

"Don’t you ever touch her." Soldier Boy snarls. His fist is already covered in blood, the man’s face a mass of bloodied tissue and bone.

"Stop you're going to kill him-" You run forward to stop Soldier Boy, but he doesn't stop even when you try to grab on to his hand.

"I said STOP." You shout louder, this time manipulating a vine to wrap around Soldier Boy's arm and restrain it.

Fuck he might already be dead.

"Let me go." Soldier Boy's eyes narrow. The usual green was replaced by a darkened pit with his rage. You'd only ever seen him this mad a handful of times, one of which was when the supe tried to zap you like a fly in one of those insect traps two days ago.

Why is he angry?

"I'm not going to let you go, until you promise not to kill him."

"I should." He snarls back at you.

"What are you talking about?"

He stands from the body, eyeing the last attacker who runs full speed down the sidewalk and vanishes into the darkness.   "I should kill him for trying to hurt you." Soldier Boy says simply.

You wave your hand allowing the vine to let go of his arm. "Where do you come off so high and mighty? You literally tried to kill me last month."

"That was before I-" He shakes his head angrily, eyes still blazing.

"Look I don't need you to protect me. Given what I've had to deal with all day I was looking forward to kicking some ass."

"You did." He smirks nodding his head in the direction of the men hanging from the streetlamp above you. “I just thought that you were outnumbered.”

"Why are you here?" You sigh pinching the bridge of your nose.

"I wanted to go for a stroll." Soldier Boy shrugs. He flexes his hand, before wiping the blood on the front of the sweatshirt of the man on the ground.

"Uh-huh. Well I don't need you to protect me." You say again, crossing your arms over your chest. "I had this handled."

"You sure doll?"

"Look I get it- you think that you're some knight in shining armor because you have this macho complex. But I'm fine on my own." You begin to step around the bodies of the men on the ground moving in the direction of your apartment, but Soldier Boy follows you.

"Where do you think you're going?" You turn to look at where he falls into step beside you.

"You shouldn't be walking home alone."

"Well you're sure as hell not going home with me."

His lip turns up in a smirk, towering over you. Soldier Boy is easily a foot taller than you, so broad that it's impossible to look past his imposing figure. It would be attractive if he wasn't so damn annoying. "Come on sweetheart, I know you want me to go home with you." He purrs with a smile. "I think you'd really enjoy it if I did. And I'll even let you tie me up with those pretty vines of yours." Ben leans in towards your face and you take a step back.

"Hard pass. So what? Is this your big move? Acting all chivalrous just to get a woman into bed with you?"

"That depends, is it working?"

"No. Now go back to the apartment, before I send you there in pieces." You turn back to squish down the sidewalk at a faster pace, hoping he will get a hint and leave you alone. But you knew he wouldn’t stop. He practically thrived on teasing you, had been the bane of your existence since you met him. And nothing seemed to dissuade him.

"What is your problem with me?" He jogs to catch up. "And don't say that it's because I tried to kill you, that was last month-"

"I think that's applicable to this week and the week after that and the week after that." You count out with every finger to further emphasize your point, but you know that Soldier Boy won't give up that easy.

"Are you always this fucking angry?" He almost laughs.

"I don’t know. Are you always this fucking annoying?" You turn to face him narrowing your eyes.

Soldier Boy chuckles at your look, running a hand through his hair that has darkened in the spray of water, his green eyes watching you curiously. They were shinning now, not the blacked pits of hate they were when he was beating the guy two minutes ago. For a second, just for a second, you see how handsome he is all over again.

"Come on, give me a real answer and I'll leave you alone." He's smiling at you now, giving you one of those boyish grins that, if it were anyone else, would make your heart stop.

He just wants sex. He doesn't care about you. He won't ever care about you. Breathe.

"Fine." You sigh. "You might say you're a supe, but you're not a hero. People like you and Homelander, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You use your powers for you and on your own terms. You were going to kill that guy-" You gesture back towards where the body is still on the ground, the man's heart beat is dangerously low.

"He was threatening you. A thank you might be nice." Soldier Boy's cheeks flush as he glares down at you with darkened eyes, his anger surging back in his chest.

"Yes he was threatening me, but I'm okay and you could have just taken him to jail. You didn't have to beat his face in."

"So you're saying if he had been attacking someone else you wouldn't have done the same?"

"I would have subdued him and then waited for the police to get there. The men hanging from the streetlight aren't dead. We aren't the law-"

"Right so those guys can get off with a warning and then go on and do the same thing over and over again." He scoffs rolling his eyes at you.

"It doesn't give you the right to kill them."

"I suppose you don't believe in the death penalty either."

"I believe in the death penalty Gramps. I just don't believe it is our job to carry it out." Your temper was flaring against your skin distracting you from the chill of the rain as it soaked into your clothes.

"Do you have any idea how many women would love to be saved by me?" Soldier Boy asks. He shakes his head as if he can't understand you.

You didn't blame him, most people didn't, that was why you spent most of your time alone.

"I'm not one of them. So leave me alone." You turn to go.

Honestly, why is this the kind of guy I attract? You roll your eyes to yourself. Oh you mean, tall, dark, handsome, gorgeous- The other little voice in your head whispers in your ear. NO. You tell yourself. Please I just want one guy who's not a total dick. Why is that so hard?

"I still don't think it's a good answer." He huffs.

"Of course you don't." You roll your eyes and begin to walk again. The streetlamps above send an eerie yellow glow over the parked cars along the road and over the crackled pavement. If Soldier Boy wasn't here bothering you, you might have stopped to admire the water as it splashed underneath the suspension bridge beyond the crowded buildings, but you wanted to get home. Without him if possible.

You glance over at Soldier Boy again. He looks normal right now, always does when he's not wearing his suit. And when he shut up you could see why people were so in love with him. It was when he opened his mouth that it reminded you exactly why you didn't like him.

You stop in front of your apartment building and force yourself to smile. "Thank you for walking me home." You say through tight lips, hoping that the false sincerity will make him leave.

He gazes up at your building with a frown. "This is a pretty shitty apartment building."

"Thank you. Not all of us inherited millions of dollars from our parents."

He pauses for a moment continuing to look up at the building, before he sighs loudly. "Look, I-." He sighs again. "I can't take listening to Annie and Hughie fucking. They go at it every night and she always makes the power go off."

You knew that already. It was another reason why you didn't like staying at the apartment, because listening to your best friend get railed by her boyfriend was not your idea of a good time.

You look up at Ben, and for a second you see a glimmer of the truth, just a flash of something that wasn't like the misogynistic attitude he usually had and it made you pause. He almost looked, sad and it made you feel bad for him. Of course you felt bad for him before, when you found out his entire team just gave him away to be experimented on and when probably the woman that he'd come the closest to loving really didn't care about him at all.

It must be incredibly lonely to come back to a world where almost everyone you know is dead. Guilt builds in your chest at the thought. I had lost my fair share of people, but not everyone in my life and I certainly didn’t learn about it on the same day.

"You know I think that's the first honest thing you've ever said to me." You say quietly shifting from foot to foot.

He half-smiles. "Maybe."

You chew on the inside of your cheek considering. You weren't afraid of him. You knew that with your powers you could take him. You were stronger than most and harder to kill. And despite the bad things you thought about him and knew about him, you kinda thought he was relatively harmless, well, you didn't think he was a rapist.

"Fine. But you're staying on the couch. And if I wake up and you're anywhere near my bedroom, I'll castrate you." You warn as walk up to the front doors and type in the code to unlock them, with Soldier Boy following behind you.

When you make it to the third floor, you raise one hand to stop him from going any further. It falls against his muscular chest and you fail trying not to admire how it feels beneath your hand.

Why am I so thirsty?

"If you wanted to grab my chest doll, all you had to do was ask-" Soldier Boy begins to say, but you raise the hand to cover his mouth.

"Shh." You hiss. "We have to be quiet or Mike will come out-"

"Who?" He asks, muffled against your hand.

You hear a door down the hallway creak open, spilling yellowed light onto the dark blue carpet of the hallway. "Shit. Too late."

Mike steps out of his apartment with a wide smile as soon as he sees you. "HEY y/n!" He crows, waving his free hand enthusiastically. "I didn't know you were getting in so late, but I wanted to give you this." Mike holds out a giant casserole dish filled with something that you can't identify. It's multi colored with multiple layers, one of which looks suspiciously like rice and the next layer looks like cake.

There's no way I'm eating that. Maybe if I force feed it to Soldier Boy he'll leave me alone.

Mike was your neighbor, your neighbor who had lived next door to you for the past 2 years and was shamelessly in love with you. And as sweet as he was, there were a few things that you couldn't get past, most namely that he lived with his mother and that he had a mullet.

One time you'd had a nightmare about it ripping itself from his head, breaking in to your apartment, and smothering you in your sleep.

Not fun.

"Hey Mike." You smile tightly at him, dropping your hand from Soldier Boy's mouth. "Yeah I'm sorry I was out with some friends."

"You should have asked me to come! I love your friends." Mike smiles so wide you're afraid that it's going to break his face. “Especially Butcher. He’s so funny. Always joking-"

Poor Mike.

Every time that Butcher had come over to talk shop, he would mock Mike endlessly. And Mike was just too sweet to realize it. Hughie was the only one who actively tried to be nice to Mike, but even he found it difficult. Annie was the worst though, she'd tease you constantly about what your children would look like and had taken to photoshopping mullets onto pictures of babies and sending them to you at inopportune times.

"Maybe next time." You cough out an awkward laugh while Soldier Boy snorts behind you.

You continue down the hallway towards your apartment, the door next to his, and hope that he'll go back into his home, but no such luck.

“My mom made this for you!” He holds the dish out towards you.

“Oh um that’s so nice of her. But I can’t except that-“

Mike's mother comes to stand in the doorway of their shared apartment. She was wearing a bright purple Mumu, her makeup caked thickly on her face and her eyes accentuated with bright blue eye shadow. “Sure you can sweetie. You’re Mike’s special friend.” She winks before trailing her eyes up and down your body. “And you’ve got such a cute little figure.” His mother does a little shimmy as if trying to get you to do the same.

Kill me now.

“That’s what I keep telling her.” Soldier Boy purrs behind you.

“Don’t make me kill you.” You mutter back, knowing full well he can hear you with his super-hearing.

Oddly enough Mike does look suspiciously like his mother, they are both the same height, exactly three inches under you, and have the same mullet, but hers is a shocking blue-gray and his is jet black.

He blushes at her words. “Aww mom.”

Soldier Boy muffles a laugh before disguising it into a cough. You elbow him hard in the stomach.

“Well thank you.” You take the casserole dish with one hand, hoping that you can open the door and usher Soldier Boy in before he makes a comment. "I've had a long day and it's really late-"

“I helped her make this one.” Mike interrupts scooting closer to you, so close that you get a lungful of his terrible cologne, the one that the super sells for four dollars and smells like baby powder and Cheez-its.

“A man who can do it all.” Soldier Boy whispers to you.

Mike looks above your head as if noticing Soldier Boy for the first time. “Who’s that? I thought I knew all your friends.”

“He’s certainly very handsome-“ Mike's mother blushes from the doorway.

“Your brother?” Mike offers.

You can see his expression turn hopeful.

Probably thinking about how he can become friends with "said brother" and that will escalate our "relationship." 

“I’m Ben.” Soldier Boy says, stepping around you to shake Mike’s hand. “I’m y/n's boyfriend.”

Your cheeks bloom a bright pink, unable to respond to the ridiculous statement that he just made.

Murder. That's what sounds good right now.

“Oh.” Mike’s face falls. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” His eyes flick back to you, disappointment swimming in the irises.

You watch Mike’s hope begin to circle the drain.

“Well actually-“ You begin, but Soldier Boy interrupts you.

“Sorry I’ve been out of town for a while. We've been trying to do this long distance thing- you know how it is, late night phone calls-“ Ben trails off with a wolfish grin before dropping an arm around your shoulders. “But I just couldn’t take the long distance. Missed her too much. Phone call isn’t the same as sleeping in the same bed. Definitely not as satisfying. Not to mention there’s only so much my hand can do.”

Your cheeks bloom an even brighter red at his insinuation.  That’s when Soldier Boy does something even more unforgivable, he pulls you tighter against him and kisses you right there in front of Mike and his mother. The kiss is searing, making everything in your mind go blissfully blank. It had been so long since someone kissed you, since someone had held you this close to them without trying to kill you. His tongue teases your bottom lip and before you can stop yourself you open your mouth wider to let him in sighing softly against his lips, while you grip the front of his jacket.

For a moment you can’t remember why you didn’t want him to kiss you, why you denied yourself of this for so long. And then Soldier Boy's hand slides from your back to grab a handful of your ass.

Right.

You slap him so hard across the face that you're sure it would have broken the cheekbone of anyone who wasn’t a supe.

But Soldier Boy only grins wider, squeezing your butt again. “She knows that I like it a little rough.” He turns his lazy gaze back to Mike.

You open your mouth to cuss him out.

“Well we should probably get going.” Soldier Boy breezes. “Probably going to be a long night. If you know what I mean. But we’ll try to keep it down. Then again my girl's a little loud.” He winks at your poor neighbor who looks like he might cry, while his mother stands behind him fanning herself like Soldier Boy is everything she wants in a man.

He's ten for ten with the older ladies I'll say that.

“Oh right. Well I guess I’ll see you around y/n.” Mike turns to go.

“Mike wait-“ You try to say but he’s already vanishing through the door.

“Nice to meet you Mark.” Soldier Boy calls at his retreating figure, getting his name wrong on purpose.

You don’t even use your key to open the door you're so mad, the plants inside let you in. As soon as it opens, you haul Soldier Boy by the front of his jacket through the doorway and pin him to the wall just inside.

The casserole dish lands on your counter and by some miracle doesn’t break.

“What the hell is your problem?” Your hand is fisted in the front of his shirt, eyes blazing with anger and embarrassment.

He only grins. “You didn’t want me to play along? Sounded like that guy had been trying to get into your pants for a while. Unless he already has been or you want him to?"

You flush a deeper shade of crimson. "That is absolutely none of your business!"

“Well if we’re going to be living together doll, I’m pretty sure it is my business.”

“WE AREN'T LIVING TOGETHER I'M JUST LETTING YOU CRASH ON THE COUCH TONIGHT AND THEN YOU'RE GONE.” You shout.

“I think you’re gonna get pretty attached to me sleeping here. Maybe even  you let me sleep in your bed and even fu-“

You knock him back against the wall again. “If you finish that sentence I’m going to throw you out the window.”

“If you keep knocking me around, Mike's going to think you’re into some pretty kinky stuff.” Soldier Boy smirks down at you. “It’s actually turning me on a bit. Is it turning you on?”

“I don’t have to let you stay here.” You growl, releasing him.

“I think it’s because you like me.” He teases.

“I don’t.” You frown grows. “Okay couch is there goodnight.”

You point in the direction of the worn leather couch. You'd hauled it up three flights of stairs with Annie when you first moved in after you found a guy online selling it for nothing. And when you showed up to get it, he presumed to say it would be free if you let him take a picture of your feet. And after, when he had a black eye and a fun story to tell his wife, he gave you the couch for nothing as promised.

“No kiss goodnight?” Soldier Boy pouts his lips innocently.

“You already had one of those.” You snap thinking about slapping him again and trying hard not to think about how much you wanted to kiss him again.

Get a grip.

“Right. You liked it.”

“No I didn’t. And the next time you shove your tongue into my mouth I’ll bite it off.”

“You’re really violent for such a little thing.” Soldier Boy eyes you up and down as if sizing you up.

“And you’re really dick-like for someone who’s supposed to have the wisdom of the ages.” You turn towards the hallway intent on going to bed to avoid any more conversation with him.

"Whoa." You hear Soldier Boy say as he looks into your living room.

It was the reaction that everyone had when they entered your apartment. You had a small one bedroom apartment on the third floor of a building that you believed might be older than Soldier Boy. The kitchen and living room was mostly one room, the kitchen to the left with outdated appliances and a small circular wooden table with three chairs that served as your kitchen table and desk, and was separated by the large leather aforementioned couch that faced the wall that held two large windows. Beyond the front door was a small hallway that held the only bathroom in the apartment and your bedroom.

But that's not what was surprising.

Every open space in your apartment was covered in plants. There wasn't a single piece of unused space in your apartment. There were large standing monstera and fiddle leaf figs shoved into every corner and pots of dark green pothos bolted into the walls trailing vines to the ground so that every wall looked alive. Jasmine crept along the wall behind the tv that sat on an antique credenza between the two windows, sending the bright scent into the living room.

There was a large rectangular box bolted in the space above your sink where herbs and tomatoes hung down, probably a fire hazard, but you didn't care. The vibrant smell of mint, the spicy smell of rosemary, and soft tones of oregano and basil fused the air in your apartment with a life force that was impossible to ignore.

A large apple tree grew in a pot as big around as you next to the couch, with brilliant red apples hanging from it's branches, while a lemon tree and a tangerine tree intertwined their branches just behind the kitchen table.  The refrigerator, once white, was covered in the tangled vines of blackberry and raspberry, hanging with full fruit, while a potted strawberry plant sits prettily on top of the kitchen table, the bright red fruit enticing.

It was a lot. You knew it was a lot, but helping plants grow was the only thing you were good at, the only thing that felt right. One day you hoped that you could move somewhere and open a farmers market, but today you were stuck here, with Soldier Boy, who probably thought that you were crazy.

"I mean. I knew you had plant powers but this is-" He begins to say.

"A lot. I know." You roll your eyes. "The bathroom is down the hall." You gesture with your free hand towards the darkened hallway. "I guess I'll get you a pillow."

Ben is still looking around the room dumbfounded, as if he's never seen anything like this in his life, and he probably hasn't.

He's been in a Russian Lab for the past forty years, I mean he's probably not used to seeing anything this green.

You find the extra pillow in the linen closet along with one of the crocheted granny square blankets you made last year when Annie and you had a Jaws movie marathon, and a towel, before you move back into the living room.

Ben is still standing awkwardly by the couch as if he's not sure what to do, and it's the first time you've seen him look lost.

"Here." You throw him the pillow and the towel before you drape the blanket over the back of the couch. "One night."

"Why are you working for Butcher?"

"What?" The question catches you off guard. You were expecting him to make another pass at you, maybe check you out again. He was looking at you, but it was different, his gaze was softer, curious.

"You don't seem like you-" He gestures around the room. "Like you fit."

You blink for a second. "Um."

"I mean Annie used to be one of the Seven, Hughie does whatever the fuck Butcher tells him, but you you're different." His brow furrows together as if he can't figure you out.

"I really don't want to do this with you."

"This?" He looks confused again.

"Opening up with one another. You're here for one night. That's it." You force yourself to say, but the reality was you were still surprised, surprised that he actually seemed to care.

Stop. He's changing tactics because nothing else worked. He's pretending to care about you because he still wants to sleep with you.

"Please."

You can't answer for a second. It was the first time that he'd said that word in front of you before, or acted this way. It was also the first time that it had just been the two of you, before Butcher had been there or Frenchie or Annie and Hughie, but this was the first time that the two of you had been left alone.

Maybe that's why?

You hesitate before you answer, he was the last person you really wanted to open up to.

"I don't know, it's not all that bad." You shrug. "Before I didn't really use my powers all that much except like this." You gesture around the room for emphasis. "And when I went to college everyone was so serious about their futures and I didn't really like any of the classes. The only thing I enjoyed was using my powers at Please Don’t Die, the plant store I work at. And then Annie asked me to come help her out-" You bite your cheek. "She's my best friend and maybe I wanted to spend more time with her."

"But is it what you really want?" He cocks his head to the side, holding the pillow in one hand and the towel in the other.

You'd never seen him look so calm before, relaxed, like being here with you was washing away any anger or frustration he still had about the past. It was confusing, and at the same time you could feel your heart beginning to betray you. It was hard not to fall for him when he looked so good, eyes soft, dark hair falling into his eyes, clothes still dripping rain on your hardwood floors.

No. I will not fall in love with him, I will not fall in love with-

"Goodnight Soldier Boy. I'll see you in the morning." You turn to go, ignoring his final question.

"You can call me Ben." He almost whispers it, the sound of his voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down your spine.

"What?" You look back at him.

"You never call me Ben. But you can, if you want." He shrugs his shoulders, before he shakes his head as if he's annoyed with himself for suggesting it. "Never mind, just fucking forget about it-"

"Goodnight Ben." You feel the end of your mouth twitch up into a smile and with that you disappear into your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

And deep down you know that it's not to keep him out, but to keep you in.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

If you liked this story be sure to read my follow up fic that takes place in the future:

Open Mic Night!

Or if you'd like to read another series please try:

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love!

A/N: I know it's crazy to start another series right now, but I'm kinda feeling this reader and Ben together? What do y'all think about it?

A/N: Update I've made a huge mistake and started another series.

If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know!

(Photos for series picture from Pinterest)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester

[blindmagdalena]

What do you think Homelander and Maeve’s first date was like?

see, this is why i so badly wish we had more context for the early days of the seven. i would LOVE to know. i've spent a lot of time theorizing how they got together, what they might have seen in each other, but i feel like there's a good chance their relationship was scripted from the get-go. it would explain a LOT about their dynamic if Maeve was brought into the seven straight out of supe school (maybe we'll get some flashbacks/more context with the Gen V spin-off?) and pushed into a very marketable relationship with their main hero, the Homelander. it's absoLUTELY something Vought would do, and it gives some context to Homelander's decision to handle Starlight the way he did. there's foundation for it. their marketing team was probably like man! we really need a love interest for Homelander in these movies. bc... have you seen a marvel movie?

not to remove Maeve's agency in all this. it just makes sense to me from a Vought POV. this is something i would honestly love to see explored in depth in a fic. their relationship really deserves a nuanced look.

[crucifixinhell]

Oooh I just checked out the description for the Sandman Slim series. It sounds hella fun! xD Could you tell us more? Please feel free to monologue ;)

OKAY

SO

Everyone be grateful for the new long post feature. I personally am very grateful for this very lovely anon who gave me an excuse to monologue at great length.

The reason this took me so long to answer is because I ended up rereading the first book (and most of the second) in the process... (I've lost count of rereads lol)

Reasons I love Sandman Slim:

1. It's this glorious mishmash of genres. I'd loosely categorize the first book as a spaghetti western revenge story set in an LA urban fantasy with angels and demons and a decent chunk of horror. (I love the world building. Some of the Christian theology was inspired by string theory.)

2. The narration isn't my usual style, but it's pretty fun in a lot of ways, because Stark (narrator/main character) is very direct. So his POV is easy to read. There's very few adverbs and a lot of the dialogue has minimal tags. (I'm pretty sure this is because Stark doesn't really have much emotional awareness. But.) Also, Stark's sense of humor is basically mine. Even if I don't get a lot of his references because he really likes obscure movies.

4. Stark is an asshole. Holy shit, he's an asshole. He's a very flawed person. Richard Kadrey (author) describes the series as "a monster learning how to be human" for a reason. Stark comes out of Hell and doesn't know how to not be an asshole. (He wasn't great at it before Hell, but he was also 19, so.) He mostly tries to do the right thing for the people he cares about, but he's incredibly terrible at it. This will make you want to yell at him, but also, if you like a proper antihero? This is a proper antihero. In Hell, they call him the monster who kills monsters. (A defining quote from very early on: "I hate cops and I fucking hate goody-goody hero types, but there is some shit I will not put up with if it happens in front of me.")

5. Stark has a huge case of PTSD (and probably some other stuff, but I don't think that ever gets diagnosed in-world) and it affects every aspect of his life. It affects how he looks at things, how he acts, and how he thinks in ways he doesn't even notice. So... like how PTSD/mental illness actually affects people. Which is so incredibly refreshing to read. And it's well-done/realistic, imo.

Stark has PTSD and is a dick about it for a long time. He refuses to acknowledge his time in Hell was an issue. He has some of the worst coping mechanisms on the planet and they hurt himself and the people around him until he starts accepting help. (Monster learning how to be human!) He can't reconcile who he used to be with who he is after Hell. He's suicidal and/or engaging in self-harming behaviors for large portions of the series. But he gets better.

7. It takes (I think) nine books to explicitly get there, but Stark is queer and he dates a non-binary person. I say explicitly because a) he more or less talks about all genders in the same way, even if he's usually only involved with women, and b) he describes Lucifer as a bad-decision fuck in the second book. I had my suspicions. Also, there's a couple poly relationships throughout. So that's cool. There's never a whole lot of identity conversation because the world is always ending. I love representation that is just. There.

9. They're just... entertaining books with fun characters. There's a zombie-killing Czech porn star. There's a bartender who reacts to a charred-up, scarred-up stranger talking about murder by saying that the potential dead people probably deserve it (Carlos is awesome). There's an angel working for Homeland Security. There's an immortal French alchemist stubbornly refusing to lose his accent. There's an excommunicated sin-eating priest whose sins get eaten in a ritual involving Johnny Cash. I love them all.

[whatiwillsay]

For the fun of it, can you give us a rundown of why exile is swiftgron even though you said you wouldn’t yet😂

ok y’all have earned a lyric analysis

so i think it’s possible that exile is about dianna seeing taylor with joe at snl/the afterparty in 2019 + all the people dianna has had to see taylor out with after their breakup

we know that taylor and joe were seen making out at the afterparty, but dianna was noted to be in taylor’s inner circle there, making me think they were hanging out, and a gaylor eyewitness said that dianna made a face when taylor sang magnetic force of a man in lover:

the vibe of exile is this hurt betrayal that goes beyond your ex simply moving on and makes me think joe being a guy plays into it... i can’t exactly explain it but sometimes it hurts more if she moves on to a guy.

taylor bringing in a man to sing a whole verse about seeing taylor out with another guy feels like what she used to do with her pov switches like “from the male perspective” to the max

the first verse i think is dianna’s pov and i think it makes sense that part of the offense, as stated in the first lryic, is that dianna can see it “i can see you standing honey, with his arms around your body” because taylor gets to be public with joe in a way she never was with dianna.

i think i’ve seen this film before, and i didn’t like the ending 

1. sounds like allllll the guys taylor had to parade around in front of dianna as she could only watch, conor and harry during their relationship, then calvin and tom so publicly in the aftermath of their relationship and then joe being real and special in a way most of these other guys weren’t and don’t even get me started on kaylor and karlie and how public that was.

2.  the film reference and how the ending doesn’t spell out good new for the couple is also expressed in the 1 with the lyric “the greatest films of all time were never made” and ofc you guys know i think the 1 is about dianna

3.  all the film references in this song make me think it’s possible she’s singing to someone who acts in films - dianna!

You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now?

this whole vibe of a homeland and defending something makes me think of a war or a fight and the 1989 breakup muse taylor goes to war with (i don’t think against, i think they’re on the same side and they were fighting to make it/come out, but that’s another post for another day) in clean she loses the war and in iwyw she says she wants to remember what they’re fighting for.

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy

again - dianna is an actress and so is joe so him being her “understudy” is a really apt metaphor if it is about her.

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

gives me major dianna vibes since we think she shoved harry just for adjusting taylor’s scarf 😭(maybe)

Second, third, and hundredth chances

gives me swiftgron vibes, “it was months and months of back and forth” just painful, slow to end, and on and off is very much the 1989 muse imo

Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

swiftgron vibes 100% now we’re in taylor’s pov and ofc she’s mentioning dianna’s eyes which she sang about again and again and she mentions the balancing act they had to do for their treacherous love 

I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now? this also sounds like taylor’s pov of swiftgron, i think it was taylor’s career and fame that broke them down in the end, the pressure of staying a secret was unbearable and they ended up breaking up due to that.  taylor framing herself and all the baggage that comes with secretly dating her as “your problem” 

Now I'm in exile seein' you out this feels like a macabre play on being “out” - i always theorize dianna wanted them to come out together.  but they didn’t and now she’s out with joe, instead of out of the closet.

So I'm leavin' out the side door more commentary on hiding in the shadows, even their breakup is shielded from public similar to the silent screams taylor keeps framing their break up(s) as in this love and clean also reminds me of dianna having to leave out of side doors of restaurants like she did when she met andrea (while harry got to stride out of hotels for “morning after” pap walks in full view of everyone)

All this time

I don’t know if we talk about this simple lyric enough!  whatever taylor is singing about it’s been a connection for a long time!  it certainly fits for that damn 1989 muse that taylor seems to keep coming back to.

I never learned to read your mind

this is such a dianna lyric - she is this confusing amalgamation of mystique and even winston comments on it in the song he wrote about her, woman, which says, “i can’t read your mind though i’m trying all the time”

now let’s talk about how she sent the song to radio on karlie’s birthday.  i do think it’s possible this song is about her (though it feels more dianna to me) the mentions of a crown, and packing up in five minutes reminds me of that blind (back before enty went crazy) that said Taylor kicked karlie out and had her stuff packed up in a few minutes do make me think of karlie.  but if the song is dianna the reasons i can think of taylor sending it to radio of karlie’s birthday are: 1.  it’s simply a coincidence, we do have to allow for coincidences even as gaylors.  2.  she was just being petty, you guys know i think they’re not on good terms(x, x), if she had to send a sad song to radio in late summer, like the release of folklore demanded, why not send it on karlie’s birthday just as a bit of a snub. 3. maybe it’s because karlie was one of the people dianna had to see taylor out with (amas! 143 remember those days!) so it was proper timing and thematic and it just worked out like that.

anyway this is just a theory, maybe the song is about someone else, maybe it’s fictional, but you guys are here for swiftgron takes so i’ll deliver them!  i guess i’m gonna add exile to the official songs about dianna agron playlist!