#posture crunched up like a discarded paper ball

[ask-zacharies-snackarie]

Mewns

[imlostinatunnel]

Candy Canes

Casual Christmas fluff! Merry Christmas, you wonderful people you!

Jack was not a man built for stealth, but when necessary he could call upon an earlier time in his life, a time where he was trained in such techniques. His objective was just across the room. In and out, he thought to himself. No time for games.

But this was far from a game, possibly one of the most important assignments of his career. He brushed the thought away. No time for that kind of pressure when his objective was in his reach.

Click.

The lights came to life and a thin, familiar figure stood under the archway leading into the kitchen. “And just what do you think you’re doing, Mr. Grinch?”

Jack turned, meeting the stern face and posture of Angela with her arms crossed and foot tapping the floor. He waited, hoping it was a rhetorical question. Her silence and constant eye contact said otherwise. “I was just. You know. Doing kitchen stuff?”

“You were trying to sneak another candy cane, weren’t you?”

“Of course not! There are plenty of other things I do in the kitchen you know.”

Angela’s face remained unchanged.

“Fine, yes! You caught me.”

Walking toward him, Angela plucked the cane from his hand. She placed it back into the bowl he snuck it out from. “You have eaten more than your fair share of these, Jack.”

“Oh come on. I’ve only eaten three, maybe four?”

“Try sixteen. In two days. It’s my turn for a couple.”

He took a moment to process the number. “Okay, so I was a little off.”

“I’m no dentist, but too many of these can be bad for your mouth and teeth.” She unwrapped a candy cane that had a similar pattern to her holiday sweater. A majority of red with white stripes that spiraled around the cane. In Jack’s opinion, the pattern looked better on her than the candy cane. “I tend to kiss the lips attached to that mouth, you know. I’d like it to stay healthy,” she said, playfully nibbling and licking the tip of the cane.

“I’d like to think I’d know that. I was there a couple of times for it.”

Angela smirked. “At least a couple. Come on, you’re gonna help me wrap a few gifts for our friends.” She latched the hooked end of the cane onto Jack’s shirt collar and lightly pulled him out of the kitchen with her.

The bedroom was a mess. Wrapping paper was scattered all over the floor with pieces of tape mixed in. The gifts that she did manage to wrap looked to be on the verge of falling apart. Angela continued to bite down on her candy cane, only about half way through with it.

“Weren’t you a surgeon, better yet a head surgeon? I thought you were good with your hands,” Jack said.

“Hey, the cuts in the paper are cleaner than the sanitary rooms I operated in.”

Jack picked up a piece of discarded wrapping paper and un-balled it. Sure enough the cuts were clean and angled at a perfect ninety degrees. “Good lord. I can’t cut a smooth line like this to save my life.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to wrap anything,” she said.

“Well, I can show you a thing or two in the art of gift wrapping.”

“Oh, this is an art now?”

“Angela, you are looking at the second place finalist for speed-gift wrapping in the back in Indiana.”

“Who’s the first?”

“My mother.”

Angela giggled, reaching the hooked end of the candy cane. “I think one demonstration will do,” she said, handing him a box to wrap.

Jack opened one of the flaps to have a peek. Inside was an over-sized glass mug hidden in miniature styrofoam peanuts. He flicked the side with his finger nail and listened to the ring slowly fade away. On the thick glass, no, inside the glass held the laser-engraving of a slightly 3-D crusader in full armor, proudly holding a banner sporting their motto. Unfortunately, Jack was a bit rusty on his German. “For Reinhardt, I’m guessing?”

“Think he’ll like it?”

“I think you might want to prepare for one of his infamous bear hugs. I didn’t think these could be found anymore.”

“It took me half a year to track one down. Be gentle when wrapping it.”

“Yes, ma’am. Wrapping paper, please?”

Angela cut him a fresh sheet of paper. A perfect rectangle.

“That is still impressive,” he said. “Ok, so the rick is keeping the paper tight on the edges and keeping the creases smooth. You take these two ends and fold them like this...”

Angela swore she only blinked once, maybe twice. It looked like he flipped it over and the paper magically wrapped around the box.

“... And tah-dah! For added measure, you can tape down the sides.”

Angela crunched down on the last of her cane. “Right, any chance you can do that again at a speed visible to the human eye? Actually, why don’t I cut and you wrap?”

“Will I get a candy cane afterwards?”

“Maybe something a little sweeter than a candy cane.” She gave him a wink. “Until then, get Fareeha’s gift ready.”

“We decided that was the pirate gear set, right?”

“Yeah. Ana told me she is still going through her pirate-phase. She said she won’t stop shouting ‘Avast ye!’” She snipped the rectangle out of the roll of paper and handed it to Jack. She watched as he had it wrapped perfectly in but a few seconds. Seeing is believing, but she was still working on the believing part.

Jack and Angela sat among the wrapped gifts for their friends. Jack spun a tiny wreath between his hands. Its lights flickered in its pre-set pattern to perpetually spiral around the wreath. Angela sat against the bed, stacking some of the smaller gifts.

Jack set the wreath on her head, putting her pony-tail through the hole.

“And what’s this for?” she asked.

“Every angel should have a halo, right?”

“God, Jack. You are so cheesy.”

“Would you love me if I wasn’t?”

“Now who said I loved you?” She re-adjusted her ‘halo’.

“You did. About fifteen times a couple nights ago. I’m sure the neighbors can vouch for me. They must have heard it.”

“Oh stop it, you!” she giggled. She gave him a light shove.

“I still want my candy cane,” Jack said.

“Well you got to do one thing.” She stood up, hands on her hips. “You have to unwrap her first.” She enjoyed Jack’s pause before jumping to action. “See if you can get her to sixteen this time.”