#posts brought to u by me being reminded even calling attendance

[vaguely-annoyed]

out of curiosity, *do you practice what you want to say in your head

[markberries]

what we do in the dark┊draco malfoy

• anon requested: Hey! If you do story requests can I get draco and yn in a secret relationship (yn is also slytherin but muggleborn) and then draco gets tired of hiding, kisses her in public and smut ensues? Thank you in advance love your writing!

• info: having a secret relationship with hogwarts’ troublemaker was difficult, especially when all he wanted was for everyone to know that you were his.

• warnings: cursing, fingering

• genre: fluff, angst if you squint, smut, fem reader

• word count: 2346

• a/n: HOLY CRAP i actually finished a wip!! anyways sorry that i haven’t posted much hp in awhile </333 i hope u guys enjoy!

being a model student was difficult; having the endless stress of keeping your grades above everyone else, the constant studying and time you spent in the library, and most importantly, keeping your relationship with draco malfoy hidden.

it had been 6 months since the day he asked you out, the classic “bad boy” and “nerdy girl” couple, you were surprised by his confession, and he was surprised by your agreement. the secrecy part was a mutual decision, being brought up by you, when someone had told you that hanging around draco was a bad idea.

draco, of course, didn’t mind, for he had a reputation to keep up with his friends, and that is what settled it. you liked it, the sneaking around, the excitement of nearly being caught hiding in the prefect’s bathroom together, it was fun.

in public, you two were rarely seen together. you acted like you didn’t know each other. people never got suspicious; the only thing that could get you two caught was draco’s inability to keep his hands to himself. when guys would hit on you, unbeknownst of the steady relationship you and draco had, it made malfoy’s blood boil. 

he would watch them walk up to you confidently, where you would sit in the dining hall, intently writing notes and eating the nicely placed food that lay in front of you. he would watch your eyes look up to the boy, who would politely ask you on a date. you would decline, saying that you were too busy to date. 

he would lock eyes with you, you would shrug your shoulders and smile at him, but being cautious of the people surrounding you. the only thing that irritated him was the fact that these boys thought they had a chance with you. they thought that the only reason you wouldn’t date them was because you were merely busy, when the truth was that you were taken. by him.

the reason you liked draco was because he made you feel different, like you were taking risks. people used to call you boring, but draco changed that. he thought of you as unique, he liked you for you, and he had never tried to change you. he was just a sweetheart hidden behind his bad boy facade.

“you looked so pretty today,” he whispered to you, arms engulfed around you as you two curled up in his dorm. usually, you would be worried about someone catching a glimpse of you two, but today, you had decided to skip potions class. it was the second time you had ever skipped a class (the first time was also with draco), and people may perceive that it was his influence on you, but you thought differently.

“we didn’t see each other today,” you laugh, pinching his cheek. he winces slightly, before giving you a soft smile.

“yeah, but i know you looked pretty.”

you raise a brow, “oh? what a flirt you are.”

he buried his head in your shoulder, breathing in deeply to get a whiff of your sweet fruity scent, “only for you,” he says, voice muffled by your grey pajama tee.

“mm,” he pauses, entertwining your hands. “the yule ball is coming up.”

you hum, ruffling his hair and offering him a kind smile. “i know.”

“we could attend it.. together.”

“i know,” you kiss his cheek, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink, “but everyone is gonna be there..”

there’s an evident frown that forms on draco’s face, his thought process remained unknown to you, and there’s a slight pang of guilt that washes over you, after all, you didn’t expect draco to want to sneak around with you forever.

“right,” he clears his throat, turning away to lay on his back, eyes glued to the ceiling. you bite your lip, sitting up and running a hand through his blonde hair. his eyes then stare back at yours, and you offer a pity smile.

“i’m sorry, let me just get through my finals and then we can tell the others, okay?”

there’s a pause of silence, before draco speaks up again.

“are you ashamed of me?”

your expression softens, lying back down and caressing his face, making him turn to you. there was nothing that could make you ashamed of draco, you just didn’t know if you were ready to face lectures from your parents, knowing well enough about them, for dating someone who constantly torments people of the muggleborn status. you wanted to tell them that he was different, that he was capable of accepting people for who they are.

“no, i could never be ashamed of you, you know that,” you reassure, placing a kiss to the tip of his nose. he smiles, brushing a piece of hair out of your face lovingly.

“i know love,” he admires your face for a brief moment, studying your features, “sometimes i just can’t help myself when i’m around you.”

a giggle escapes your lips, followed by a raise of your brow. a grin creeps it’s way upon your face, as malfoy rolls his eyes at your own silliness.

“you’re so weird,” he comments, enveloping you into his arms.

“draco, people are gonna be wondering where we are in the great hall,” you remind him, as the time for dinner approaches. skipping classes together was already risky, not showing up to dinner would be the frosting on the cake.

“alright alright,” he sighs, getting up and picking up his robe that hung from your desk chair. your heart clenches — in a good way, thinking about how it would be like to tell everyone about your relationship.

there were always pros and cons, as you knew there were a few female students who found draco undeniably attractive, and if they were to find out, you knew that you would always be a topic of conversation, but on the contrary, they wouldn’t try to spark up conversations with him. you knew your parents wouldn’t be happy, but you would be able to openly spend time with him, you’d get to kiss him whenever you wanted, and your parents would eventually get used to your situation.

you were torn between two sides, even if you were to tell everyone, what would be the right occasion to share your story? and when was the right time?

you shake your head, snapping out of your own trance.

“you ready, love?” draco asks.

you smile, looking at him and nodding, “yeah.”

—

“hey y/n,” a voice says to you, causing you to stop drinking your water mid sip as you stare up at the culprit.

“cedric,” you say, placing your glass down with a smile. he looks uneasy, nervous even, as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. cedric had been the first hufflepuff to make contact with you, as no one really engaged with slytherins unless it was to start a harmless argument.

it was a year ago, and he had approached you in hogsmeade, your green scarf in hand, that you had lost an hour before. you had accepted it with a simple smile and a “thank you”, wrapping it around your neck again. he made sure to point out how different you were compared to the other slytherins, even saying that you belonged in ravenclaw or hufflepuff. you laughed it off, being proud of your house and who you were.

“is something wrong?” you ask with a tilted head, his cheeks turn a soft pink while they heat up. he clears his throat, finally looking at you in the eyes.

“do you want to maybe.. be my date to the yule ball? of course, you don’t have to say yes, it’s completely up to you.”

you nearly choke on your own saliva, your eyes widening in surprise. you’re at a loss for words, what should you say to let him down softly? that you’re busy?

“she can’t,” a familiar voice calls out to him, and draco takes a seat next to you confidently. you snap your head towards him, and his jaw is clenched, not a single hint of playfulness in his voice.

“oh? do you already have a date y/n?”

you say in a hushed voice, “draco what do you think you’re doing?”

he doesn’t reply, he merely wraps an arm around your shoulders confidently, eyes locked with cedric’s.

“yeah, me,” he says nonchalantly, and this time, it’s your turn to blush, staring down at the ground intensely. everyone at the slytherin table is paying attention to the conversation, quietly talking amongst each other as they stare at the two boys who are glaring at each other.

cedric scoffs at him, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue and looking away from you two for a moment.

“alright then, see you around, y/n.”

without a word, draco harshly tugs you throughout the hallways, towards the prefect’s bathroom. his expression is unreadable as he lets go of your hand when you two finally arrive at the destination.

“what was that about?” you finally exclaim, more shocked/surprised than angry, but draco takes a step towards you with a huff of frustration.

“i did what i had to do,” he replies, staring down at you with hooded eyes. “unless, you wanted to attend the ball with diggory.”

“you know that i would never do that, i love you,” you say softly, and draco takes another step, your bodies almost touching.

“we’ll just have to show diggory that, then,” malfoy then begins attacking your neck with his lips, pressing you up against the wall with a small thud. he sucks harshly, leaving obvious marks on your hot skin. he trails kisses along your jawline, and your hands find his way to his blonde locks, tangling in them as you let out small whines.

he uses one of his hands to snake its way under your shirt, massaging your left breast. his free hand presses against your clothed core, harshly rubbing to get a reaction out of you, and of course, it worked. you were moaning, all whilst draco hummed against your neck.

you grip at the fabric of his robe, panting heavily as you wrapped your legs around his waist. he places both hands on your ass, carrying you to the nearest surface and setting you on it, the marble feeling cold against your body.

“your moans are like music to my ears,” he says, lust dripping off of his tongue. at this point, you didn’t care if anyone walked in. you wanted draco now, and it didn’t seem like draco wanted to stop either as he eagerly lifted your grey sweater vest above your head, pressing his soft lips against your own.

he removes his robe, carelessly tossing it to the ground and loosening his tie. he slips his tongue into your mouth, harshly sucking on your own, and you knew better than to fight for dominance with him. the heat between your thighs continued to grow, a wet patch forming, and you knew your underwear was done for.

you wrap your arms around draco’s neck, deepening the kiss as he unbuttoned your shirt, leaving you in your black bra, skirt, and pantyhose. he broke the kiss, ogling at your breasts.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you tease him, which was definitely the wrong thing to do.

“what a brat,” he grunts, unhooking your bra and exposing your boobs. he then began pinching your right nipple, making you yelp out in surprise and grab his shoulders for balance.

“got anything else to say?” he asks confidently, and you shake your head.

“fuck you’re hot,” malfoy groans, tugging your skirt and tights down. you kick the articles of clothing off, while draco dips a hand into your panties, collecting the gathered wetness and pulling his hand out to admire it.

“all for me?” he smirks, rubbing his fingers together. you quickly nod your head.

“use your words,” he says.

“y-yes, it’s all for you,” you reply in a small, innocent voice, causing malfoy to shove the fingers that were coated in your wetness into your mouth. you suck on them, making him satisfied. he then takes his other hand pushes your underwear to the side, shoving his slender finger into your entrance without warning.

“oh, ah!” you cry out. he takes the hand that was in your mouth out, using it to grip your face.

“look at me while i finger fuck you.”

unlike usual, he doesn’t start slow. he’s already curling his finger inside you, pumping it in and out at a fast pace. he stares at you with the same dark eyes he had earlier, and you bite your lip to prevent yourself from being too loud.

draco adds another finger, the room being filled with the joyous sound of your pleasure. your breath hitches, and you begin to uncontrollably moan.

“god, i could do this all day,” draco groans, the imprint of his boner beginning to look painful. “who makes you feel like this?”

he adds a third finger, making you arch your back in euphoria from the sensation. “it’s you! fuck draco, only you.”

“you’re such a good slut,” he praises, picking up the pace as you clench around his digits. the lewd sounds were so loud that you were surprised that no one had busted you two, but even if someone were to walk in, you don’t think you would’ve stopped.

“cum for me,” he whispers into your ear, pressing his thumb against your clit. you screw your eyes shut, moaning draco’s name as he kisses your neck. you swear you can see stars behind your eyes, exploding in a sense of ecstasy from malfoy’s fingers.

your eyes flutter open, a seemingly never ending chorus of pants leaving your mouth. you smile through it, resting your head on draco’s shoulder.

“that was so hot,” you say.

draco chuckles, bringing his mouth close to your ear, “you thought we were finished?”

you shiver.

maybe some things aren’t meant to be kept as secrets.

[chvrliesapcet]

ever since olivia rodrigo released her debut album, SOUR, i have been listening to it on repeat (totally not kidding). so, after seeing a girl on tiktok do something like this, but with the avengers, i was inspired to make this post. there you go:

the poets as olivia rodrigo’s songs.

trigger warning: mention of su*c*de and mental health issues.

brutal: all of them. they’re teenagers, insecure sometimes, trying their best, but sadly not living the teenage dream (what is it, that fucking teenage dream, anyway?). “if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth, " i’m gonna cry” and they can’t quit what they’re doing, because their parents would most likely be hurt. “and they'd all be so disappointed 'cause who am if, if not exploited?” they once recited the lyrics of this song as a poem, during one of their meetings, and they were all laughing their asses off. life at hell-ton is brutal, what can i say?

traitor: knox, of course. “god i wish that you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” or “guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor” just hit different for him. he thinks about chris when he listens to this song, that’s for sure..! we can’t really blame chris for knox falling in love with her though,, sorry buddy.

drivers license: knox, again. poor boy listens to this song while riding his bike, crying his eyes out. “but today i drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around” chris isn’t with that blonde girl, she is that blonde girl. knox has never felt this way for no one, and it’s hard for him to imagine that chris is, well, doing okay without him. he thinks and talks about her all the time. “and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you, but i kinda feel sorry for them 'cause they'll never know you the way that i do”

1 step forward, 3 steps back: todd. like many people (including me!) when he listens to this song, he doesn’t necessarily think of a past relationship (mostly because he has never dated anyone before neil). he thinks of his mental health struggles, such as his anxiety, instead. it’s hard, sometimes. he thinks he’s getting better, but then realizes he isn’t.. “got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like am i pretty, am i fun boy? i hate that i gave you power over that kinda stuff” need i say more? this song is as soft, but as sad, as he is.

deja vu: keating. this is.. kind of a joke, but only because i didn’t know who to pair this song with. john was an original member of the dead poets society, and knowing that now, other teenage boys are taking turns reading poetry, in the old indian cave, reminds him of his teenage years. “so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? she thinks it's special, but it's all reused. that was our place, i found it first” olivia’s music isn’t the type of music he normally listens to, but after hearing students (the poets) talk about her album, during his class, he decided he’d give it a try. he likes it. he loves the lyrics, mostly.

good 4 u: CHARLIE. he loves screaming the lyrics to this song. especially the bridge and the last chorus. “LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” cameron has to beg him to turn the volume down,, he doesn’t listen to him, obviously, and instead turns the volume up. his argument? ‘this song is meant to be played loud!’ to which cameron responds ‘but not that loud! i’m trying to study!’ he thinks looking at his roommate directly in the eye when singing “baby, what the fuck is up with that?” exactly the way olivia does is funny. cameron just rolls his eyes every time, but it’s hard for him to hide the smile taking place on his lips.

enough for you: pitts. although he and stev/phen are both super, super smart, i think meeks is the ‘genius’ of the group. and that, can, sometimes, make pitts feel like he might not be good enough for his boyfriend, whom he loves very much. “and i knew how you took your coffee, and your favorite songs by heart. i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that i was smart” whenever he doubts himself, meeks is the first to reassure him and tell him he’s more than enough, but still.. “'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you” he listens to this song with his earphones, always, so no one knows he listens to it on repeat.

happier: meeks. ever since charlie got expelled, he can’t stop listening to this song. these two were pretty close, (“he flatters me, that’s why i help him with latin”) and stev/phen doesn’t like thinking about his friend being in a new school, and spending time with other people. “so find someone great but don't find no one better. i hope you're happy, but don't be happier” he wishes charlie would still be with them, at welton, even if he hated it. “your friends aren't mine, you know, i know. you’ve moved on, found someone new” or “does she mean you forgot about me?” he’s being a bit overdramatic, considering charlie comes to see the poets at least once a week, and still attends the dps meetings.. but anyway.

jealousy, jealousy: cameron, because, yes, he’s smart and everything, but he’s still jealous of other people, and wishes he were different. he thinks he should be like the other guys. “all i see, is what i should be, happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy” he also thinks that, maybe then, people would like him more </3. he knows no one really hates him, but feels like no one really likes him, either. and in his opinion, it’s because he’s.. him. “I'm so sick of myself, i’d rather be, rather be, anyone, anyone else” just like mr. k, this type of music isn’t what he usually listens to, but he relates to this song so much, he can’t help but listen to it at least once a day.

favorite crime: neil. just like todd, he doesn’t associate this song with a relationship he had in the past. actually, he thinks of his father (and his mom, a bit, too) and all of the things his dad forces him to do, even if it upsets him. “those things i did, just so i could call you mine. the things you did, well, i hope i was your favorite crime” i know we don’t usually talk about the canon ending, but i have to. mr. perry didn’t want his son to pursue his dreams, and planned neil’s life for him, which made him feel so miserable, he sadly committed su*c*de.. but then, his dad wasn’t blamed for it, to preserve his reputation. “and i watched as you fled the scene, doe-eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody” todd knows this was neil’s favorite song. he listens to it once in a while, in their room, alone, and cries.

hope ur ok: all of them. do they know how proud i am they were created? after all they’ve been through, especially their family problems, i’m glad they found each other. “she was tired 'cause she was brought into a world where family was merely blood” and even when life throws bad things at them, they always stay strong, and support each other through everything. they’re very brave. “well, i hope you know how proud i am you were created, with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred” i love them, my beautiful poets <33

[foreverydinger]

Graduation Flashbacks 2k21

Tony reminisces on graduations past while sitting in the ceremony.

Featuring: @tallulahrobinson @notmuchofatail @notbad-justsungthatway @oh-phineas @devyn-morey (lol)

Tony was in his stupid hat and gown again. It was the same one he’d had for years, only updating it when the school decided to change the style of cap and gown they’d want their students to wear. He glanced to the side, daring a look at his ex-boyfriend Haechan Roberts that he was assigned to sit beside. They had both been ignoring the other since being told that they would be sitting in alphabetical order. Tony had known it was coming, had known the moment he found out the other’s surname. This wasn’t his first rodeo, he’d done this sixty times before. Though Haechan reminded him of a few other R-named exes he’d been with many years ago.

“Promise you’ll write to me,” Tally had insisted when they’d discussed the breakup. Tony blinked at her, his heart aching as he realized what he’d have to do. He didn’t want to lie to her but what was one to do when the great and powerful Tallulah Robinson asked something of you?

“I promise, Tally. You go off and get your degree, see the world, send me postcards. I’ll be here, in Swynlake. It’s not like you’ll never see me again, your family’s here after all.” He chuckled through the pain, eyes beginning to water.

Sitting in the ceremony didn’t feel cold, instead they held hands side by side. Squeezing whenever something particularly emotional started to be said. ‘Goodbyes are hard,’ Tony thought as he stared not at the presenters but at her face. ‘She’ll be alright, though. She’s a force.’

“Congratulations, Class of 2010,” came the headmaster’s voice booming over the speakers. “You did it!”

As a roar rang out over the crowd Tony felt that same tingling, saw those same sparkles only he ever seemed to notice as the ceremony came to a conclusion. Despite his desire to hang on, to cling to Tallulah’s hand for dear life, he felt her grip slacken until she had completely dropped Tony. She had no reason to hold the hand of the boy beside her, she didn’t know him despite how small the school was.

She had places to be and a small town to forget.

The speakers were giving some emotional speech and Tony swiped at his eyes in frustration. Most people, if they saw him, might think he was just getting emotional about leaving Swynlake. The rumors had swirled around him about whether he was staying in the small town or leaving them for MIT. It was stupid, he regretted even posting the fake acceptance nowadays, but he supposed it wouldn’t matter shortly. He’d have to just fake a Pride U acceptance instead, as he usually did.

He looked around the expanse of graduates, spotting Phineas Flynn across the room. One of the few people whose relationships had transformed the most. Tony had barely considered the kid back when he had moved to their peculiar little town which had transformed drastically to incensed rage and been doused much like the flames he’d been spared from with, of all things, the power of music. Tony nearly rolled his eyes at the memory now if he ignored the very real damage that had been done to his person at the time.

The evolution of their friendship caused him to reminisce upon another relationship of his that had changed drastically since their first meeting: Gregory Eeyore.

He thought about Greg whom he had been texting constantly the past few days. They were best friends now, Greg had even believed Ian and Tony about the curse, even if the recollection of memories hadn’t been made possible unlike Ian. Honestly, the teenager wasn’t sure whether or not that was such a bad thing given their rocky past.

Tony scanned the sea of people who were all about to leave him behind. He spotted the likes of Devyn Morey—’Good for them, making it this far!’—before his eyes landed upon one Gregory Eeyore. It wasn’t as though Tony had been friends with Gregory by any stretch of the imagination. On the contrary, Tony was convinced that Greg hated him by association with his friends who had done little more than torment the quieter student.

Over the last few years Tony had dissuaded his friends from torturing their classmate, though the attempts were quieter than Tony knew he should have been and filled with the fear of being socially ejected. It seemed silly, sometimes, thinking about his fear of being rejected from a social group given he had a built-in redo in a way but recovering from that and climbing back up the social ladder even with the help of his curse’s bonus popularity air still took time and effort that he didn’t always want to do.

So Greg had suffered for it.

As Tony watched the other he made a silent wish—something that he should have stopped doing long ago after having his wish granted to never leave secondary—that Greg would find his niche out in the world now that secondary would be left behind him. Tony wanted nothing more than for Greg to find the peace he deserved.

“Congratulations, Class of 2017,” came the headmaster’s voice booming over the speakers. “You did it!”

As the announcement was made and caps were thrown into the air in celebration Tony felt that familiar tingle and sparkle surround him. He hoped that perhaps a part of that magical seal would grant this new wish.

Focusing on what friendships would prevail, Tony had to focus on the positives.

He would still have Pip, feisty and loyal Pip, to keep his feet on the ground and yet also keep him on his toes. There was never a dull moment in their friendship and he couldn’t wait for long nights with him listening to musicals or any of the other interests that the younger boy held to his chest.

Tony could hold onto the friendship he’d newly cultivated with Mim Ambrosius who was a brushfire. Chaotic and terrifying in the danger she could create while also being capable of cultivating a sort of refreshment on life much like the sorts of plants that had to burn to spread their seeds and flourish elsewhere.

He scanned the crowd to see if he could spot any particular faces turned toward himself. He caught a glimpse of someone’s profile for a moment and mistook them for the one and only Jessica Rabbit.

“We’re still friends,” Jessica whispered as she sat beside him.

“What?” He tore his eyes from the headmaster manning the ceremony to look her way. They had determined this when Jess had broken up with him a couple weeks prior, Tony had almost been relieved he wouldn’t have to break her heart. Jessica was of a rare breed; kind to a fault and sharp as a tack. Tony hadn’t wanted to live on in her heart as any form of regret.

“We’re still friends, Tony.”

“‘Course we are, Bun,” he teased, the old nickname slipping into the sentence without his permission. “‘Til the very end.” It wasn’t a lie at least, not really. He didn’t want to lie to her, not ever.

“If you’re not leaving Swynlake then—”

“Don’t worry about it, Jess,” Tony cut her off, not wanting to know where that sentence was going. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out.” Just because she was figuring it out without him didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to assuage her fears. He reached over to give her hand a short squeeze before returning it to his own lap.

They had been each other’s support system over this short time together. The long nights at work and the longer nights in his flat reading comic books while a record spun in the background. The hushed and reverent voices mingling in the dark as the two tired teens just allowed themselves to unwind from the pressures that threatened to break down their doors.

“Love you, Bun,” he admitted, glancing at her face for a fraction of a second. He tried not to seek what emotion was shining there before turning his attention back to the headmaster.

“Congratulations, Class of 2003,” came the headmaster’s voice booming over the speakers. “You did it!”

He’d see her again, just under different circumstances.

Ah, there were the tears once again and Tony chuckled at his sappy self. Haechan turned their face to raise a brow at him but he ignored their questioning expression. It would be alright, Tony told himself. He wasn’t alone, he was determined to believe it. He thought about Ian at home, the journals placed out upon the table ready to inform him of Tony’s existence once again. If it had worked once it had to work again... right?

When his row’s time came, Tony stood from his seat, walking across the stage as he always did. He knew every step, knew every creak in the stage floor that the attendant eyes of the crowd wouldn’t hear but still brought a bit of cringe to him so he avoided it easily. It wasn’t long, then, for when his name would be called. He walked across the stage, hearing a couple cheers for him despite the announcer saying not to cheer until the very end. No one ever listened to that announcement when their kid got called.

After being handed another diploma Tony thanked the headmaster as he always did and retreated back to his seat. This diploma was one of many and he just sighed as he realized it would go into that box beneath his bed like all of the others where it would collect dust unless—until—Tony and Ian broke the curse.

“Congratulations, Class of 2021,” came the headmaster’s voice booming over the speakers. This time breaking him of his reverie. “You did it!”

‘Maybe this time,’ Tony thought with a hint of optimism in his heart. ‘I don’t think that I’ve broken the curse, not by a long shot, but maybe... just maybe... I’ve actually managed to accomplish something. A family. A life.’

[tomhollandisabae]

can you do a part two to broken promises where he announces y/n’s death on instagram but also the birth of their daughter

ofc!! thank u for ur request!!❤️

warnings: angst

Masterlist| Requests

Part 1/ Part 2 alt.end

•

broken promises- tom holland x reader pt.2

he was devastated. he was currently holdings your small baby in his arms while he was fleeing from the hospital, knowing that your soulless body was somewhere in there.

days passed and the big day of your funeral came. he of course attended the ceremony, but after that he went back at your once shared home, and started crying his eyes out.

however he noticed that the world didn't have any idea about what was happening im his life, since you hadn't even announced anything about your disease or your marriage or your pregnancy. that's why he wanted to tell everyone about you.

so, he posted three wonderful, yet devastated, pictures of you.

the first one was you and him at your homeymoon. you were holding each other in your arm's, while you both were smiling, having a memorable eye contact. it was one of the most beautiful days for tom.

the second one was showing him holding your little baby girl in his embrace, having tears in his eyes, remembering that you had just passed away, and he was kissing softly her delicated small forehead.

last but not least, the third photo was picturing just you on a hospital bed. he remembers that day. it was the first day that he had shaved your hair, as you had already started your chemotherapy.

he couldn't hold back his tears. those photos where bringing back so many memories that he was trying to forget. it was hurting him so bad seeing you in these pictures, knowing that in reality your body was six feet under the surface of the earth.

he finally decided that it was time to start writing his feelings about you and your little baby.

"you all know about me and my beautiful girl y/n. we're together for at least five years and i couldn't be more happy that i've met her and she instantly became part of my daily life. we immediately started dating, it was as if i fell head over heels for her, which maybe... i did. anyways, that wonderful woman's the strongest woman i've ever meta and i couldn't be more proud about her. so, almost one and a half years ago, y/n was diagnosed with brain cancer stage four. the thing was that she fought with such passion and strength, wanting to survive amd live the rest of her life carelessly and happily. but lot's of things happened and even though she got through so much, she made so many sacrifices, she sadly passed away. in the meantime, she gave me the best one year of my life and the best gift anyone could ever give me. she made me the honor of becoming my wife, taking my name and i couldn't be more happy that i got to call her mrs. holland. although that's not just it. nine months later she brought this beautiful baby in this world, but she unfortunately couldn't make it. i just wanted to say that these five years where the best years of my life and i will not ever stop loving my beautiful wife, the only woman that made me smile, that made every moment of my life worth. i couldn't wait for everyday to return home and hold her in my arms. i couldn't wait to come back after filming away for three months and tell her hiw much i'd missed her and how much i loved her. which i still do and i'll always will. and i love our beautiful baby girl, as much as i loved her, my beautiful wife. rest in peace my love and hopefully time will finally reunite us again in heaven. i love you, yours always and forever tom, your husband!"

and with that he uploaded the post having so many tears i his eyes, while he went upstairs to your daughter's small grip, kneeling down and looking at her with soft eyes, without being able to believe that was actually your and his creation.

"i'll always protect you no matter what my little girl and i will never stop reminding you how much mommy loved you."

[jiminrings]

cabin pressure

pairing: taehyung x y/n

glimpse: pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

wordcount: 17k

notes: this is my first bts fic im gonna post and for sentimentality’s sake, im paying homage to the bullet-point format™️ because this is the same thing i use for my reviewers and it’s v effective in making me focus and not lose interest!!! 

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

jimin really misses you :((

you’re his longtime friend!! someone who’s stuck with him even before he was famous!!

unlike tHose who suddenly appeared claiming that “aHHHHH jimin from bts aha actually we were friends even tho i have never spoke to him once hE’s actually asking me out and-“

and he loves u to death even the both of you fond each other annoying at times

like that one time he pretended he was sick with a bug just to get u out of your very important meeting just bECAUSE he wanted u to cook up a meal he missed

“hey why are u crying and also can you pls still cook why you’re crying”

“jimin i fucking hate you”

:((

and needless to say he really made up for it because he may have screwed up your job bc he wanted you to drop EVERYTHING to cook cheesy tonkatsu for him

so yes he really went up and above just to get you to forgive him

and u know what

jimin misses his best friend so much that he’s thinking of you in the middle of a meeting

and literally at the mention of bon voyage, the gears in his head start spinning!!!!

basically his thought process was:

bon voyage = abroad = y/n = oH DAMN OH RIGHT Y/N’S A PILOT = airplane whoosh = abroad = BON VOYAGE!!!!

“PD-nim!!!!!!”

“what”

and he’s really gonna make a leap for this because it’s given that him and the boys ride in private jets and first-class and all

literally everyone is looking at him now because his previous outburst of a call was surely attention-grabbing and it makes him shrink a bit because aha :D oops lol okay so what i was saying

“i-i was thinking uhm like since, abroad, right?? my friend y/n y/l/n is a pilot!! and the airline she-...”

“you know y/n y/l/n??” bang si-hyuk literally asks with his eyes wide and everyone could tell that it was the positive type of shock

wait

what

everyone in the room is like divided with some nodding and some clapping excitedly and some just with their mouths agape

and that confuses jimin because

“you know y/n??”

bang si-hyuk, ceo of big hit entertainment, his boss,,,, knows you, his childhood best friend-

and it’s not like jimin is territorial when it comes to his best friends and most esp you!!!! but yeah he realizes that he is now, especially because everyone in the room apparently knows you??? and he’s only ever introduced you to the boys???? briefly?? hope and jin have yet to meet you in person???

“how could we not?” jungkook interjects with a bunny smile on his face and everything is seriously confusing jimin rn because honestly

“do you like live under a rock” yoongi has the most confused face ever to jimin’s cluelessness, the situation being ironic because normally the hyung is slower when it comes to these type of things

“y/n went viral all over the news like last week!! up to now even” it’s no joke that namjoon knows everyone that his members know but for jimin to hear joon speak about you in THIS degree offends him

because wait he’s your closest friend he should know these things

he’d like u to know that he isn’t bitter :)

and his eyes go wide at that because oH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

everyone agrees to what namjoon said, still a bit dumb-founded as taehyung practically yanks jimin’s chair to sit closer near his and almost shoves his phone to his face

it’s you

in your pilot uniform with your luggage at tow

sunglasses at the top of your head and phone on-hand

your id still worn around your neck and

oh

jimin basically deduced all of these things with a couple swipes:

a) ok you look ethereal in those pics

b) it was supposed to be a stolen picture of this dude but you were in the background and you cOMPLETELY stole the show

c) someone zoomed in on you and edited so now basically your ethereal being got even more magnified

d) someone zoomed in on your id (he got a lil bit mad at that)

e) aha the internet loves you

f) edits and i have thirty minutes i am free this saturday retweets and digging into your images in social media EVERYTHING!!! the whole nine yards!!!!

when you woke up to that frenzy though

you literally couldn’t function for five minutes and then you started catching up and digging in on what was happening

“but i don’t look ethereal!! my skin is dry n oily at the SAME time because of cabin air and my eyes are stinging!!! i look ghastly and only a little bit fresh because of the air u get when you’re 50,000 feet up in the air!! but im-...”

oh that’s it you went viral completely on accident

you were just waiting for the free service back home your airline offers it pilots, because you brought your car to work but you were too tired to drive back home

but now you are viral in the worldwide interwebs with articles and twitter threads about you and multiple multiple DMs that make your phone freeze and

wait did your airline just email you about that :D

oh lol did beyoncé just follow you :D

basically jimin got his brothers giving him a three-minute crash course each about what happened with their managers even stepping in to gush

he basically can’t believe that he didn’t know that!! even if you didn’t mention it to him, he should’ve known because it was practically everywhere!!!!

bang si-hyuk is well-pleased and even got jimin to tell how he knew you and what you were like and he was very much :O when he got into the word that aish!!! his employee has really been living under a rock lmao

by then, the conversation about bon voyage has been slightly derailed to talk about you

who knew that jimin simply mentioning your name (lol he didn’t need to because the conversation about you was nearing anyway) would land the meeting to

“oh! actually! the airline y/n works at reached a couple of weeks ago about a proposal to get bts to star in a commercial for them!!”

and now they’re hyped because yes they endorsed clothes and food and malls and establishments but never did they endorse an AIRLINE!!! a damn airline!!!!

okay so now not only did they tackle that you would pilot for them in bon voyage

“ah! you could like also play games on the way there with y/n!!”

“wHO WILL PILOT THE PLANE THEN??? we’re gonna crash!!!”

“you’re thick, jungkook, and not in the way you think so lmao”

“maybe we could extend their vacation! shoot a skit or two with them being flight attendants for run!! one week for shooting, two weeks for resting!! two birds with one stone, really”

an airline commercial

a couple run bts! episodes

a whole season of bon voyage (with a longer production because they have longer vacation days)

more traction for them

more time than he ever wished for to be with you!! :D

soon enough the meeting is finished and it went so good that the boys were gonna be treated to a beef dinner so

everyone’s scattered and dispersed, some making small talk w him about you that makes him smile

taehyung’s lingering behind him with his hands on his back

“what is it, tae?”

the younger boy is just giggling and fiddling with his hands, a careless shrug to his shoulders

“can i have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

“aish!! if jungkook were to ask for her number, you would’ve given it to him in a heartbeat because he’s the youngest!! and-...”

“ya!! thanks for reminding hyung! jimin-hyung may i also pls have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

...

jin had to drag jimin with him bc he wasn’t done shooting the both of them glares and his cheeks were practically pink with how annoyed he was at the younger two

needless to say taehyung and jungkook didn’t have any extra portions of beef from him

he is very protective of you and even if he’s become closer with his brothers more than he’s been close with you he jUST can’t help it!!

not that he doesn’t trust them or anything

not that he doesn’t trust you either

but he doesn’t want figurative blood on his figurative ledger because he feels that it would be his responsibility if ever yOu and someone became a thing and HE was the one who inteoduced you both :(

it’s not just a him thing :( he can’t put it into words but he’s just looking out for both parties!!!

kinda figured out that taehyung may or may not have a shy little crush on you

spoiler alert: it was HUGE

for their entire dinner, every single time your name was brought up, tae instinctively has his ears perk up at the mention

simultaneously he shrinks to his seat and purses his lips and looks around to what’s being said

why are u mentioning y/n’s name?? what is happening??

and taehyung having a serious case of sweater paws doesn’t help him from jimin’s observing gaze

and yes he feels a bit sorry because taehyung kinda looks a bit upset; that little “oh :((“ on his face when jimin snapped at him so quick

he’s not gonna force him to tho,, out of respect since someone else is involved (and in this case it’s you and your number)

jimin nudges him by the shoulder to get his attention

everyone’s passed out at this point because the beef was so damn good

tae kinda looks spaced out so he turns his head immediately and he forgot for a second that he was supposed to be cold with jimin

“what?”

“..... do you still want y/n’s number?”

taehyung almost fALLS out of his chair as he nods eagerly, making jimin shake his head to himself as he hesistantly takes out his phone from his pocket

oh god jimin’s phone is on his hand now oh god that’s your picture oh god that’s your number oH-

“i’m not gonna text her tonight if that’s you’re worried about?? i mean we barely know each other!! consider me asking for her number to be used for future references only :D”

“what does future references even mean?”

...

“... luggage. i want y/n’s luggage bag.”

...

“i also want y/n’s-...”

“BUTT OUT JUNGKOOK!! BUTT !! OUT !!”

when you open up your company’s email to you, you really can’t help but to feel nervous

today was your off-day and they specifically requested that you come to the main office at 10 AM sharp

and in your off-day, you aren’t even awake at that time of the morning!!

it wss both a blessing and a curse that you slept early the night before so your body clock just went “lol u wake up early today get up at 6”

and not to mention the fact that it was the same day you learned that you went viral last night when you were peacefully asleep

so the last few hours have been WILD and it kinda put you into shock

the closest you’ve ever been to fame was having your pictures leaked with jimin when you were still kids!!

if you were lucky enough, your face would be covered by every possible animal emoji that was ever released

apart from that, it was the occassional mention of your name in stan twitter and that was it

but THIS type of fame is on a whole another level!! higher than being tagged as jimin’s best friend outside of bts!! higher than having your face covered with animal emojis

when you thought that you were gonna be fired over being viral for some reason unbeknownst —

even if you know that you haven’t violated anything and if anything, you were the one who got violated because someone uploaded a picture of you without your consent!!!

so when you learn that they aren’t mad at all and ecstatic in fact

because your airline basically got free publicity and promotion just because you looked so good in pictures that weren’t even intentional

and that there is a more than noticeable spike in the bookings of flights

and that people were cALLING to ask if you would be the one to pilot that flight

AND RIVAL AIRLINES WERE CALLING IN TO ASK WHEN YOUR CONTRACT WOULD EXPIRE

and that said rival airlines were pitching in salaries that competed with your paycheck now aND THAT THEY WERE EVEN higher

needless to say that your day was more than eventful

you don’t know how to cope up with it either so while the meeting drags on to talk about your newfound fame you’re just :O the entire time

“i believe that park jimin from bts is a close friend of yours, correct?”

wAIT what

you shouldn’t be shocked by now because practically everyone’s familiar with him and the rest of the boys

but it still takes you off-guard because as much as he is your friend

and as much you admit that you miss jimin :(

or that you haven’t talked to him as much these past few days

you genuinely don’t see the connection of why jimin would be brought up into this conversation that doesn’t involve him in the first place

there’s a self-pitying realization in between that it seems like your only determining factor these days was to be known as a best friend of a kpop idol and nothing else

:(

that’s a sad topic you’d rather not delve in at the moment

:(

“prior to you being catapulted into fame suddenly — we reached out to their company for them to become our endorsers. a commercial and a billboard and some other things.”

“and this is just the pERFECT timing because you’re famous now and people love you!!!”

this was it

the stars were aligning for you

not only do you get to hang out with jimin, but now you’re launched into much more job opportunities!!

when the meeting concluded, you narrow it down to the conclusions that:

a) you’re most likely to film a commercial and some adverts and perhaps be included in a billboard with them (their company has yet to confirm within the week but your ceo ji-eun is damn sure at this point or else she will flip

b) you’re now getting an agent :D because apparently offers have been waiting for you left and right and they already got you one before you even said “yeah sure i guess???”

c) you’re getting a RAISE

d) sooner or later you’re gonna do this photoshoot so your own company could post about you this time

e) interviews. you’re gonna be asked to chat your heart out intentionally. i n t e r v i e w s

and it’s a humbling moment for sure because it’s like 

oh. you didn’t mean for this to happen but it’s here now and you can make the most of this while it’s still here!! you get to do what you love and be with the people you love and basically get paid for it!!

oh is this what jimin feels like all the time then??

maybe you should apply as the 8th member of bts

it’s during an intentionally cold night in your apartment that your phone basically vibrates itself off the table

right when you were still in the bathroom taking your time because you were getting PR!! and the mask you just put on happens to be something you’ve been curious about but it was too expensive for you to be curious about lol

also: curiosity that leads you to buy either new skincare products or makeup are either a godsend or a godforsaken situation because 6 out of 10 times you do that, you breakout!!! 

the sound of something clattering to the ground immediately makes you scramble towards your living room, phone flipped over to see jimin up close, eyes even in a picture enough to intimidate you for not answering immediately

“Y/N!!!”

“JIMIN!!!”

the both of you put each other on speaker mode because while you didn’t want to risk ruining your mask, the rest of the boys wanna listen in

the entire phone call was so intense because even in speaker mode you were still yelling at each other

and it was spent with so much enthusiasm on trying to catch up with the past days and jimin apologizing profusely because he’s been living under a rock

“i can’t believe it!! I CAN FINALLY RIDE IN ON A FLIGHT YOU’RE GONNA PILOT”

what

wait

“... jimin what do you mean”

because as far as you knew, the airline commercial would be done with a green screen to ensure that it’s of the best quality

not a gopro type of thing because ur flight attendants would yell real-time to the camera crew and the boys when they try to do something and the seatbelt sign is still on!!!

“wait jimin i think y/n wasn’t supposed to know that yet”

you hear a voice in the background and it’s very much familiar and it’s now hitting you that there’s an audience for your entire call

“namjoon, is that you???”

“Y/N IT’S ME!!! NAMJOON!! OMG”

and then you hear this scuffle over the line and a very slight commotion

it’s jimin holding his phone away with his arm and the other fending off namjoon while hobi scrambles to steal it back

jin is helplessly saying hello to you in the background while jungkook is hopping around going all “miss y/n i am a fan of you!!!”

taehyung is going all sweater paws again while yoongi is desperately trying to shut them up because he’s still listening into yours and jimin’s conversation and he’s genuinely engrossed ok

and now everyone’s calm and collected especially since jimin gives them a death glare each and nobody admits but angry jimin scares the shit out of them

he’s back to being soft-spoken now because he realizes that he may have slipped in saying information he probably shouldn’t have yet, a sheepish scratch at the back of his head

“uhm well you see you’re gonna fly us over for bon voyage and uhm kinda stick around for some pieces here and there?? uhm that’s from what i know hehe”

right now you’re just blanking out and staring into the distance and you’ve suddenly gone awfully quiet

yoongi’s on the background like “yo i think you just broke her”

“is y/n’s cell broken? i’m gonna get her a new one”

“is she okay?? wHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???”

“jimin-hyung you said y/n sometimes forgets to lock her door right??”

it’s once again another frenzy and once you realize that you’ve blanked out, you immediately shush them and they miraculously do

it’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and disbelief because this is more than you’ve ever asked for

to think that just last week you were tired and was about to pull off an AWOL because your off-day couldn’t have come nearer

“i certainly didn’t know that”

and there’s a nervous chuckle and a nervous silence that encompasses and for a moment, jimin frowns because he thinks that this is all too much for you and you’re gonna turn down the offer even before it’s gonna be officially pitched to you at a meeting tomorrow (you have yet to know that there’s gonna be another meeting tomorrow)

“oh my god i get to be with the lot of you!!!”

one excited shriek from you and that’s all it takes for hell to break loose

“JIMIN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T WAIT TO WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAIN”

“i can fINALLY meet jin and hope!!”

“where’s namjoon?? this old lady from one of my flights own a stall at the airport and she’s afraid of riding in airplanes! and i was apparently so good and she wasn’t scared and that she waited for me outside the cockpit! she gave me a written note saying that i could come to her stall anytime and the bOOKS I’M GONNA CHOOSE WILL BE FREE OF CHARGE EVERY SINGLE TIME”

“yoongi if you’re hearing this; i heard kyle kuzma’s gonna fly first class next week and i fly that same aircraft do u want me to ask for an autograph”

“we have a boatload of dog treats we give for lil ones we have onboard so they stay behaved!! taehyung can have them for yeontan”

“tell jungkook that he can finally have my walkie-talkie he’s been bugging me about!! i have a new one anyway”

it’s official

they love you

they are practically swooning right now and are mad at jimin because wHY DIDN’T YOU LET US KNOW Y/N SOONER 

they only met you a couple times in the past and hobi and jin are jealous because atleast they got to meet you :((

and all of them are willing to take a splinter for you no doubt 

everyone goes to sleep that night all warm and fuzzy and content

not to mention taehyung being so giddy about what you said

not only did you think of him you also thought about yeontan aNd you haven’t even met the little devil yet!!

and he isn’t the only one who thinks of this but

there’s just something about you that is so warm and so genuine

like you could be as introverted as yoongi and be as much of a team player and and extrovert as taehyung is when needed be

but the point is that there’s always something about you for everyone that makes them gravitated towards you

of course jimin explains this to you and you basically shut him off

“aish don’t put me in a pedestal because i swear that i’m not that special”

“why won’t you believe me??”

“because it isn’t true now eat your cereal jimin i will pinch you thru the screen”

the meeting comes soon enough and you have to pretend that this was your first time hearing this bit of information

the pilot you were helping learn the ropes, hyunjin, will take over your normal workload for the meantime!!

in less than one week’s time, you have to pack your bags for three-ish weeks!! because as from what you can tell, things are gonna be a bit more hectic for you because you’re not only gonna fly planes

for a run episode, the boys are gonna be your flight attendants in a mock flight with the passengers as staff members

but the plane being in the air and them wearing flight attendant uniforms will be very much real

and then another episode to be squeezed in with them trying out flight simulators and quizzed with aviation facts 

and whether u did the best or the worst with the two-part episode

they’re still gonna go skydiving :)

they’re really milking out the sky motif but ok it wasn’t your show anyway and you were just gonna guest so they can go off by all means

after all that work, you’re gonna fly them off again but it’s for bon voyage this time!!

they basically res for two-ish weeks and you can tag along behind the scenes because i mean like you’re flying them home too so might as well

get some clips in between to be used for the commercial

and said commercial would be shot a few days after you all get back from said vacation!!

that’s it narrowed down and as you were taking notes, you can’t help but to feel very excited and nervous at the same time

a few days pass and it’s finally time!! yeah sure run episode but JIMIN AND THE BOYS CAN FINALLY SEE YOU NOW

you were supposed to reunite in the aircraft itself but jimin is an impatient baby which is why he’s called you insistently to say some excuse of “you have to go back to the empty boarding gate u need to meet your camera director”

lol but in truth you really don’t need to and where they are now is what you need to pass to get to said boarding gate

so when jimin sees you by the jet bridge they were all at, he sprints

like actually SPRINTS to get to you 

and he attacks you with a massive bear hug and sprinkles you with noisy cheek kisses

“Y/N *kiss* I *kiss* MISSED *kiss* YOU *kiss* SO *kiss* MUCH *kiss*”

no lie you really did miss him too

and once you get him to calm down because he was crushing your bones and you return his cheek kisses

the boys are all just looking at the scene in front of them with awe

jungkook’s looking at namjoon with his eyes saying “lol imma do that too” and namjoon’s staring back going “NO”

taehyung’s extra pouty right now

he didn’t conisder the fact that maybe you and jimin were an unspoken thing and that his crush on you is now something he shouldn’t hold onto

he got discouraged very quickly

hobi is waddling to you at full-speed and goes for a hug which is wild move for someone who he’s just met (but u don’t mind)

“you’re adorable your uniform is so cute omg”

jin goes in for a hug too and you say something along the lines of “i could see the handsomeness they were talking about” and he goes absolutely rED

he’s laughing uncontrollably like a seal 

namjoon was about to go in for a hug but then he sees your wrist and-

“iS THAT A KAWS WATCH???”

“OH MY GOD YOU NOTICED???”

“HOW COULDN’T I? THAT’S LIKE LIMITED EDITION HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“I HAVE A FRIEND THAT’S A COLLECTOR HE GIFTED IT TO ME I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED TOO”

you are now being wrapped with namjoon’s long arms 

he doesn’t seem to be letting go of you soon

yoongi just has his arms wide and his eyes in a faux irritated manner

“what are you looking at”

and then his gummy smile appears when you just cave into his hug and jin is like??? “aH! y/n’s power is unparalleled”

jungkook immediately goes in for an embrace and even twirls you around

“ooh!! you have more piercings now than the last time i saw you!”

“i can pierce ears now!!”

“jungkook can you really”

“lmao no”

and now that it seems like hugging is the new norm, and taehyung being the last in line for you to greet, that kinda burns your nerves becauseif you were to “admit, you may or may not have a little crush on taehyung ever since the first time jimin introduced the both of you to each other

so you do the sensible thing and don’t think about it

no thoughts head empty head first

“tae!!!”

“aha y/n :D”

you hug him and well

taehyung blanked at that and panicked internally

the stark difference of your enthusiasm and his timid response was cringeworthy and it makes you screw your eyes shut as you hug him

but the moment tae realizes this, he holds on as you were trying to let go of him as qUICK as possible because it was too awkward for you to bear

and a little crushing if you were being honest

taehyung now takes first place for wanting to be reincarnated as a rock in the next life

after yoongi seeing that interaction he was just like ᵒᵒᶠ

before it goes anymore awkward though and tae starts squawking, jimin thankfully whisks you away 

“you look so badass in your uniform will u let me wear it”

“let me wear your hoops and i’ll let u borrow”

“lol forget that i even asked”

no matter what, jimin doesn’t let you borrow his earrings!!

like even if the boys borrow some from him time to time

he absolutely does not let you borrow and when you ask why, he just rolls his eyes and smacks his lips and goes N-O

and then eventually he has to shoo you out because they have to film the intro at the jet bridge and you’re not supposed to be there really

jungkook excitedly squeezes you again and goes “see you later!!”

jeon jungkook knows what he’s doing

so right before the cameras start rolling, he’s just staring at the side of taehyung’s face in close proximity with a teasing smile on his face and then wiggles his eyebrows in the slightest when tae finally returns his stare with a knowing glare

“what was that awhile ago, hyung?”

“one more word out of ur mouth and i’m ratting you out to-...”

“i was just kidding hehe don’t rat me out to namjoon that i accidentally stained his precious table hehe pls”

and he blinks at that and is taken aback

because that was supposed to be an empty threat

and now that jungkook realizes he’s fallen smack-dab into the trap, he now wants to ignite himself

taehyung now has blackmail material :D

jungkook is now held captive by said blackmail material :D

they eventually get done with their intro and into the aircraft itself!! jimin is the one to introduce you and throughout the whole ordeal they’re just hyped-up bc it’s the first time they get to do this type of episode

and they’re doing it with you so that’s a plus

and they get changed into their custom flight attendant attire

snug pink get-up with a silk navy blue scarf tied around as the uniform’s collar 

and golden nameplates engraved with their names on it

and AIR BANGTAN embroidered into the breast pocket!!

they looked absolutely good

your work would be lighter if only they were your actual flight attendants

you’d work every single day

even though they could be tiresome at times bc they could be all over the place

taehyung was admittedly swooning the whole time

the production staff made you alter your speech a bit so you could insert air bangtan and introduce all seven of them individually for the skit

and then everyone’s briefed with what they have to do and how safety should be the no. 1 priority

and then it’s takeoff time!!!!

jimin is really really proud of you

he takes advantage of this as his bragging rights

“aha that’s my best friend who’s flying the plane we are in right now :)”

“lol i love y/n i was best friends with her first :)”

“best take-off ever in your life amirite :)”

“i’m friends with a pilot in case you didn’t know :) no big deal”

“technically that’s captain jimin to you too now :)”

it was a fun and a chaotic episode

a bit unsafe? yes

but then the icing at the top was taehyung swooning at everything you did and cussing at himself every time he remembers how he screwed up earlier

he is the most behaved person in this flight and he wants you to know that :((

yoongi’s mercilessly teasing him

“y/n’s gonna come out to do her landing speech soon; you should pretend reading the safety manual now”

“somebody give taehyung a barf bag and a pen he’s gonna ask for an autograph from y/n”

“ey jimin do they sell y/n’s perfume in this flight?? someone just wants to ask”

the episode wraps soon enough but not without jimin rowding everyone to CLAP FOR THE PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AHA EVERYTHING WAS SO SMOOTH SO COMFY QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME N MY PILOT BEST FRIEND :D

and there’s just this innate feeling everyone feels every once in a while

that everything feels so right and so complete

it’s like complete nirvana

and before you know it, bon voyage is already happening

a vacation with seven best friends (jimin insists that he has the superlative best when you’re talking about them as friends) 

(and maybe one of them you don’t see as a best friend and perhaps something more and that person really doesn’t show much enthusiasm for you as you do for him)

(it’s taehyung)

and it’s not like taehyung isn’t fond of you

in fact, he very much is!! believe him!!

it’s just that he’s paralyzed over his crush on you and the fact that he sees you often because of these circumstances and he can’t believe it

too paralyzed over the fact that he might and may have already made a fool out of himself

and that he’s afraid to make moves on you with the boys here because jESUS CHRIST

he knows he would be teased mercilessly or he would be teased mercilessly while they help him out but they would never let him live this down

and jimin

oh god jimin

because as much as jimin loves him, he knows that one wrong move on you and he knows he’s gonna yeet him to the han river

he doesn’t know either what would be jimin’s reaction if he knew of his crush on you!! will he flip? will he be happy? wILL HE FORBID HIM FROM SEEING YOU EVER AGAIN????

at times he could be very overbearing

and he admits that

but all for good cause as he tries to explain

oh and jungkook

damn jungkook

he’s caught on pretty quickly about tae’s crush on you

and kook likes you but not in the way tae likes you

it’s just a fuzzy, warm, and platonic type of like like what the other boys have for you

but with fLIRTINESS

jimin’s the same but it was natural since you’ve been friends for absolutely ages

jungkook’s however was very fresh and very aBRUPT

it’s him trying to get a rise from taehyung and urging him to just make a damn move on you

he hopes that his flirtiness with you would just intimidate his hyung to the point that “open your eyes!!! oh what am i doing?? don’t you feel that i’m trying to steal y/n away from you?? MAKE A MOVE!!” gets across

taehyung has yet to realize that though

bon voyage doesn’t really include you (as you also try to remove yourself out of the picture as much as possible)

the cameras aren’t always turned on and not all hours of the day are spent on filming

so they can still get to do things and activities without staff members flooding the house!!

the house you’re all staying at is a gigantic one

so it got divided into two wings and you can even close it off!!

one wing solely for the boys and the other for you and the production staff

you were at their wing more often than you are in yours though

and during these past few days that turned into weeks, you’ve been closer to them more than you could imagine

they were easy to get around with!! them knowing that jimin knows you is a plus factor if you think about it

and even if not for that fact, they still think not much would’ve changed in your present friendship dynamic right now

it was comforting to be with them, really

the other way around!!

and you could also hang out with them either individually or as a group and it wouldn’t be awkward!!

.. taehyung may or may not be a slight issue though

you honestly think that he hates you :(

and you’re trying to backtrack your actions to see if you may have done something to him

you always try to keep up with his energy

jungkook was fooling around with a drone and trying to experiment flying it

and then he suddenly had this idea of “tae do you think you could outrun my drone”

and kook’s whipping his head around for you as if in a silent question to ask “wait is that possible”

and you’re just over there narrowing your eyes like “jungkook just because i’m a pilot,,,,, it doesn’t mean i know every flying object in the air and how to operate it,,,,,”

...

“but y/n can you outrun my drone tho”

it’s the sudden challenge that takes you aback and makes your eyebrow raise

and then it’s become a cHALLENGE

taehyung’s competitiveness making him forget that you’re even there and that he’s not acting all conscious

so it’s literally all fun and laughter

and the both of you may or may not be so caught up into this stupid challenge you stupidly both participated to

you’re not even sure if there was a rEWARD for this

so stupidly caught up to the point that jungkook’s already led the both of you to the beach that you were overlooking from the house you all stayed at

(jungkook’s running with the drone and that completely destroys the purpose of the drone but he’s having fun too ok)

before you knew it, both you and tae are crashing full-speed into the beach and it takes a collective second for you to realize that you both were indeed wet when you’re hip-deep into the water

and it sends another burst of laughter and you’re just looking at him helplessly and out of breath

“oh my god i didn’t even-...”

it hits taehyung now that he’s having full-on eye contact with you on what the fuck is he doing

he just immediately tenses and all the alarms in his head are going off

‘hahahaha yes :)”

and there it is again

that noticeable shift in the air that makes your mouth dry at what could you have possibly done

he’s quick on walking himself out of the water, quite literally leaving you there

jungkook’s by the shoreline laughing himself to death and sees taehyung waddling himself out

“hYUNG OMG YOU DIDN’T EVEN-...”

ok what was that

what the fuck was that

he only gets a blank laugh in return and it’s a dampener for his mood right now

and it only sinks in now that why is taehyung returning by himself

“y/n did you drown????”

no you didn’t drown

but the idea did seem enticing because you felt so embarrassed and down with what just happened

so right now jungkook just has his arm around your shoulders as he’s trying to figure everything out

“did i -- did i do something wrong?”

and even if the context isn’t clear. he immediately says no

the both of you are just walking back to the house while the sun sets and he still isn’t sure of what happened but he knows that it’s enough to make you sad and most probably has something to do with taehyung

he just wants to cheer you up :(

so mid-way he kinda picks you up wordlessly and you don’t fight him about it

you’re completely drained of your energy both physically and emotionally

you melt into jungkook’s grasp on you as your way of thanks and he acknowledges it with a squeeze on your arm

by the time you get back, everyone’s just doing their own thing because it’s nearing dinner

kook kinda plops you into the couch yoongi’s sitting on

his eyes question that something’s kinda off but he doesn’t question it

and you just crawl the short distance so that you’re laying on his lap and be sad in peace there

all he does it just past your head once and that’s it

and he’s just watching a replay of a basketall game because he hasn’t had time to catch up with those championship games (even if he knows who won and who lost)

and out of the blue yoongi just hears you softly pipe in

“my ex is a professional basketball player”

“wHO’S YOUR EX WHAT KIND OF PROFESSIONAL ARE-...”

and you shush him bc you don’t want anybody else to know

“omg jimin doesn’t know this?? and i’m like the first one to know?”

“yes”

oh and he kinda huddles because after all, this is a secret and it does have something to do with basketball

“professional as in he played in this show you’re watching rn”

“is he in this game????”

“lol no from what i know, he got injured even before championship but yeah his team’s playing right now”

“what’s his name???”

“theo. i call him theo”

and then that name sounds awfully familiar and he’s specifically requesting to see what he looked like and even tries to get hobi to look for your phone

but your pictures with him are all deleted now so you just make yoongi search up his name and he’s like :O

“....... why did you break up then..,,.,”

and then you just gently explain that it was a mutual decision and that both your jobs were demanding

so yeah it was impossible to happen

and yoongi forgot that fifteen minutes ago, jungkook just plopped you here because you wanted to lie down and were too sad to function

and he made you retell what happened to you and your ex that only he knows about

so he feels a little guilty

“you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to :(”

and you just wave him off that catches him off-guard

“nah it’s all okay :)”

man were u selfless

yoongi now loves you more

jin and namjoon finish dinner soon enough and everybody goes down to eat

even taehyung who’s with jimin

and it doesn’t even look like something’s wrong

but jimin’s counting all the heads in the room and was like ‘wAit where’s y/n???”

he sees you getting yourself out from lying in yoongi’s lap and he’s there with you in a heartbeat cooing at you

“y/n baby what happened”

and you’re back to lying down again but this time it’s jimin pushing you to lie on his shoulder as he’s stroking your hair

you said “nothing”, you know...,,., like a liar

jimin throws yoongi a questioning look and the older boy just shrugs his shoulders because he doesn’t know either

taehyung’s abandoned at the edge of the stairs

and you were about to scoff but that obviously doesn’t hurt as much when he abandoned you hip-deep into the water

“mhmmm i see :D”

jimin most definitely knows you’re lying but he doesn’t want to prod into it because it’s obvious that you weren’t in the mood to be questioned

at this point he’s just trying to cheer you up but in the same time give you sustenance

he’s literally feeding you right now

jin cooked up a lot of box mac n’ cheese (he transferred it into actual bowls) from the conveniece store and you know what

he wanted to try it out

it is not the healthiest thing in the world but atleast it’s somehow foreign right???? 

as much as jimin loves you, he does want to eat though

so he asked jungkook to get him a big-ass bowl with a portion big enough for the both of you and he did just that 

but you aren’t that much cooperative because you’re not eating that much and jimin is really really enticed with the smell of the food rn and jungkook senses that

“i’ll feed her, hyung!! go get another spoon for you or something”

he is really thankful for that so he just pushes the bowl to kook and scrambles for a utensil and perhaps even his own bowl

jungkook’s feeding you now and without jimin sending you a questioning glance every two seconds, you’re more cooperative 

taehyung is sitting by the far corner of the couch parallel to yours and he is CLENCHING

and he’s groaning to his mac n’ cheese and namjoon is ??? why are you like this ???

“good. it tastes so good.”

he nods but he’s still sending tae a questioning look

you eventually gained the appetite to eat

but jungkook was in charge of the dishes tonight and he doesn’t want to wash one more spoon so he insisted that you just share one instead

taehyung is gonna COMBUST

he is now practically yelling into his mac n’ cheese

everyone is now ??? at him and he makes a show of just shoving the bits of pasta to his mouth

“jin-hyung :) namhoon-hyung :) this is so delicious :) how did you do this :)”

“...... taehyung that’s instant,,,, boiled water and the cheese powder...,.,”

“aHA so that’s why :)”

his actions are v fishy and v funny 

but deep down he is boiling angry and frustrated both at himself and a jungkook

kook is giggling to the bowl right now that you had to pry it away from him

you’re not even LOOKING at taehyung’s direction

usually you did

but your will to treat him like how he treats you is stronger

that’s it that’s gonna be the rest of the trip

if there’s any personality trait you’re gonna pick up from jimin from having been his friend for so long

it would be the stubbornness

you avoid taehyung like the flu

AND HE NOTICES THAT

AND THE BOYS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE IT TOO

jimin is the one most on-guard about that 

and he is whispering to everyone except taehyung 

“if you see something that relates to y/n and taehyung tell me ok tELL ME!!!”

and even tae feels sad about it to the point that he’s trying to make a conscious effort in making conversation with you

when you’re on the floor with your laptop turned on and they’re surrounding you trying to help you out with your emails

emails that don’t relate to aviation work and more-on to the viral side of things such as designer !!! brands !!! reaching out to you personally instead of your agent!!!

“mhmm they have really good shoes. what’s your favorite color anyway?”

and he says that in the midst of voices overlapping bUt the boys realized that taehyung gave input into the conversation and wAS LIKe wait wait tae’s speaking shut up shut up

but jimin answers for you in a heartbeat and hobi pinches his arm and he was laughing suddenly

he’s looking around trying to say something with eyes

“lol i’m sorry did i ruin his move on y/n”

and his subconscious-

“WAIT WHAT TAEHYUNG IS MAKING MOVES ON Y/N???”

it takes all four of his hyungs to plead him to shut up with their glares and don’t make this anymore awkward as tae wants to be swallowed wholly by the ground

your resolute will doesn’t crumble until jimin makes it his ultimate mission to find a drink that’s gonna sink you

because your alcohol tolerance was brought up again when they were talking about buying drinks

and jimin tells the story of how you outdrank him one night and didn’t wake up with a deadlier hangover than he did aNd he was still curious to how you did it

you don’t know either but you’re as interested as them in finding a drink that’s gonna sink you

hobi’s random pick in the grocery store did JUST that

you finally sunk

you finally got as drunk as jimin’s level

as in a shit-faced type and not just a happy buzz you usually felt

you and jin have been laughing without end for five minutes now

no one even joked

you just made eye contact with each other and you both immediately started to wheeze 

he was starting to get so red he looked borderline pURPLE if you were still seeing clearly

yoongi was laughing by seeing the two of you laugh because it was starting to get contagious at the point 

by now namjoon’s back was being slapped carelessly by yoongi who’s pleased with himself

taehyung has a grin on his face because you were so adorable

as if his cheeks weren’t warm enough just by seeing you so happy and bubbly

and the heat in his chest isn’t just because of the alcohol nor the warmth his sweater provided

maybe this isn’t a little crush anymore :((

while he’s ignoring that possibility, everyone else is considering it

everyone besides you :((

jimin’s on his feet at the moment because oh my god it’s happening!!!

good news because you’re drunk out of your mind

and bad news that you’re drunk out of your mind

so he’s tending to you with a glass of water and you won’t drink it

he’s trying harder this time by putting the glass to your lips but you were flailing around so much by laughing that it spilled some to you and jimin himself

he’s now looking for a straw

this one’s for boba but he has to settle for this now

and he’s trying to coax you into drinking it

hE’S EVEN USING A VOICE HE USES FOR BABIES

“but water tastes like nothing :((”

“which is exactly what you need”

“but i want it to taste like something”

he’s about to groan but then he sees your eyes glossing 

and oh god did he hear a whimper

“y/N BABY DON’T CRY OK OK WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

he’s now looking for an ice cold chocolate drink that isn’t overly sweet

namjoon has made it his personal decision to follow jimin around

and with his twofold clumsiness at this state, yoongi follows him but not without holding on to the back of jooni’s shirt so he could be slid around

jin stands up and follows them but he’s not sure why

“why are you all -- this is NOT a conga line!!!”

hobi’s staring into the distance turned into snoring

taehyung isn’t all that drunk

but you, on the other hand, are very much drunk

tae’s not sure to why you’re approaching him

maybe it’s because the hoodie he’s wearing now is jungkook’s

maybe it’s because jimin’s scent is on his hair from having borrowed his shampoo

maybe it’s because you’re drunk and your first thought is him even if drunk

but all his thoughts fly out the door when you’re squeezing yourself into the couch he’s lying on at the very moment

one that’s too small for the two of you and that he had to grab you split-second because you were about to fall out of the couch so hard if not for his strong grip that holds you

“y/n.”

taehyung’s not sure either to what his tone contained

whether it was for warning or for reprimanding, literally all his thoughts are crushed once again the moment you speak

“you’re voice is very deep.”

he’s not sure if you know this either but you were unconsciously cuddling up to his side, filling in the gap at the couch that just made you barely fit

you’re

cuddling

him

“a-and it’s very calming.”

he’s not sure to why but the moment you put your hand on his chest because you were basically almost lying on top of him

his first instinct was to put his hand on the small of your back

and the moment and the feelings were so warm that fuck this isn’t the alcohol anymore

nor the sweater

so warm to the point that the both of you don’t notice jimin’s :O and everyone else’s :D

because the make-shift conga line has arrived right in front of where you are and hobi just woke up

and right when everything feels surreal 

taehyung watches a split-second decision happen right in your eyes

you just kissed the tip of his nose

:’)

taehyung thinks he’s gonna ascend to heaven

it’s the softest moment ever because you pull away trying to gauge his reaction

he’s all red with his bottom lip in between his teeth and oh my god his eyes are so expressive

jimin steps in tho

and he clears his throat and taehyung iS SUDDENLY BACK TO EARTH

oh my god oh my god that just happened oh my god

this is a bit more scary and intimidating now

because jimin doesn’t look neither thrilled nor angry

he looks neutral

neutral blank-faced on the verge of who knows what jimin is the most frightening jimin

“hey baby here’s your chocolate drink you asked for :)”

and with just a head rub you immediately come to your senses and are already making grabby hands to the cold mug (with a straw!!) and you’re scrambling to stand up and jimin’s helping you to stay stable because you’re attached to him now

taehyung is now looking at his hands as if they were the most entertaining things in the world “wow look at my rings i have never seen them before so shiny so silver”

and he knows jimin can see right through him

jimin has the tiniest hands out of all of them while he has the largest

and u know what

he could be still strangled with those same hands 

and u know what too

maybe he’ll accept that wrath because he kinda deserves it  

he’s sent a brief look that’s enough to let him know that the both of them will talk

that taehyung shouldn’t leave this couch

nor leave this house

nor this country

you know what maybe tae better start timing his record on how long he can go without breathing

he can do that for a minute and a half underwater

soon enough jimin finally tucks you in with not much protest

much force from him tho but much more apologies and coos when he apologizes and you do as asked

got to make u brush your teeth and change into a fresh set of pajamas

he has to trick you into “seokjin would be mad at u when he learns that you went to sleep with dirty clothes on”

and him being the good friend that he is

since he also achieved of getting to sink you with a drink

he’s gonna go the extra mile

went so far as to wipe you with a wet towel and dry you off since you didn’t want to shower and he’s afraid ur probably gonna fall asleep not even midway

he even does your skincare routine for you

you kept giggling when he was patting your face so he did it more but now you were in the verge of tearing because in your drunk state you tHOught he was slapping you over and over again with both palms at the same time

and after all that

jimin finally gets around with taehyung on the couch and the younger boy just immediately straightens his posture

...

“...,.,., so you and y/n.,.”

there are literally no words in his mouth

“aha yes me and y/n :D”

and it’s a habit of tae’s to be incoherent whenever he’s flustered

that kinda doesn’t help his case because jimin needs ALL of his brainpower and coherence

“what are your intentions?”

“uhm i uhm aha :D great pilot. no jet lag.”

he’s nodding even there isn’t something to nod at

god he didn’t even drink much but he feels just as floaty and as spent

“calm down, taehyung.”

he SOBERS at that

jimin even pats at his knee to try and ground him

“y-you’re not mad at me??”

“lol i kinda am to be honest”

:(

“but i’m only mad because you treated her from the start as if you didn’t like her!!”

“but hyung you knOw it’s hard and -- wait was it really obvious??”

“there’s a difference between being shy AND being an insensitive ass that leaves the room whenever she enters!!!”

“but-...”

“and i know that people cope with things differently but your mechanism with your little crush on y/n was just kinda off for her, y’know? like this is the time she genuinely gets to know you and not just a five-second introduction by me!! and it’s just kinda a ballsy move because she just got to know you in this level and you’re acting like an ass and she doesn’t know why!!”

“ok but-...”

“and ok the boys and i aren’t mad that you kept from us because it was pretty obvious but i mEAN like you could have just went to us, ya know?? even if some would give poor advice, it’s the thought that counts!!”

“jimin-...”

“oH also what if y/n fell for jungkook instead of you, huh??? he has balls and he doesn’t even like her in that way!!”

this effectively shuts tae up because he hasn’t really considered that possibility

and it’s a dunk at sobering reality that each one of these days he let pass could have been the moment but it was just him hindering himself

because he is a shy boi for you and the crippling fear of rejection just always paralyzes him

aND NOW THAT TONIGHT HAPPENED!!!

with his nose still tingling and his cheeks still flushed because of that kiss

with somehow permission from jimin

with you in the picture now and everything in place

taehyung really can’t help but pout adorably and cry up tears of happiness a bit

jimin hugs him for that with a pat on his back

they both know though that even without any verbal warning that jimin will give taehyung hell if ever he breaks your heart

tae kinda pales at the realization because it may be a conflict of interest

and jimin would be like

lol :) why would you be afraid of me when you have no intention of hurting her :) 

tae SWEARS he could hear jimin in his head and he was about to reply but he realizes that he’s just a little bit worried and much more overwhelmed

needless to say that things really did do change overnight

you were trashed yet thankful that you remembered most of how the night went including that bit in which you were drunkenly topping and cuddling taehyung then pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of his nose

you could still hear your internal monlogue of “boop :D” when you kissed him

you’re woken up by the boys (yoongi included because it turned out you slept in for much longer) since today was a no-film day and they basically get to do anything in this vacation without it being documented and such

it was just a never-ending warm feeling with tae

throughout the whole day he was just grinning at you and maintaining eye contact and at times when you’re not even doing anything

(he’s glued to your side much to the grumpiness of jimin)

it was a slow burn at most

bumping shoulders and squeezing of wrists 

having his hand casually on the small of your back and around your shoulders

taehyung scrunching his nose SO MUCH

hobi is genuinely concerned

“tae do u have a cold??”

yoongi is fucking relentless

“what? what? what did the good boy smell???”

seokjin keeps pursing his lips intentionally after trying to gain tae’s attention and he = would shrug his shoulders excessively

“i saw that u little punk i SAW that”

namjoon would be on tune with how yoongi just won’t stop

“tie that bandana around your neck instead and sTOP sniffling”

jungkook would roll his eyes and scoff playfully whenever taehyung would glance at him

“do i need to kiss y/n so you’d be jealous enough to do so??”

jimin would be the mediator with all the teases but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s on tae’s side either bc the one time taehyung bragged that jimin was protecting him, he got whacked on the side of the head

“lol no this isn’t for u taehyung,, i’m just doing this because y/n’s cheeks are so hot and they’re burning a hole on my shoulder”

as much as your relationship was slowly but surely blossoming with taehyung

it happened for the boys as well!! even with jimin who you didn’t even think was possible to get closer to

bonding with jin was spontaneity and strict adherance to plans combined

“jin do u know milktpapi on twitter”

“bubble would have been a better name for that puppy”

following twitter recipes that are fast-paced and a little vague became a big hit for the both of you

he went on a watching binge one night and the morning after there were just paper bags on the counter of ingredients upon ingredients that he so sweetly asked the staff to get for him

DC CUPCAKES!!!!!!!

he liked that there has to be some type of drama between those two sisters

jin would just be ranting to you with no end

“they were on CONEy island,,, C O N E ,,,, and she made cupcakes in cONES but they still chose the sister who thought hAMBURGERS,,, in C O N E y island,,,, was a good idea!!!”

another inside game was to guess the personification of inanimate things but to food

“what must sadness taste like”

jin and you and the never-ending bickering between the two of you almost always fills in as white noise

yoongi and you are rather a quite dynamic duo

and as hobi explains that you could just really really catch on with his tempo

like at times they would just catch the two of you lying on the same couch but at the opposite ends with your feet meeting in the middle

awake and in complete silence

jungkook has his eyes squinted

“why are you texting each other????”

and it has him genuinely baffled but he’s just answered with a grumble and he CAN’T tell whether it’s from you or yoongi

just like with jin, there’s also a food approach

“that dumpling kinda looks like namjoon”

“i was JUST about to say that”

it wasn’t a showy type of friendship with yoongi; rather a more silent concern type of thing and the occasional hug

love language with him seems to be the both of you having a drum-off because he has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers

and he’s v thankful because oh :) you’ve just distracted me from that thing i was nervous about :)

also likes snoozing off so whenever you can, you squeeze in a pillow when his neck’s in an awkward position and when he wakes up and realizes he’s just like :) gummy smile :)

hobi is a force to be reckoned with

asking “hey r u ok” out of the blue even if you weren’t particularly sure how the other one felt and sometimes one of your heads would just whip and go “you noticed???? :(”

hanging with him whenever he scrolls at his phone and online shops

the only difference is that he buys what he wants

“you’re telling me that we scrolled for like an hour and you’re not buying any of the things you saw????”

and you just pass it off every time because although a pilot’s wage is above average salary, your future and earning isn’t as sECURED and SOLID as his was

that doesn’t stop him peeking at your cart when you aren’t looking and adding it to his and perhaps checking out :) i mean it’s definitely not from him when you see some parcels in your doorstep by the time you get home :) not from him :)

it’s become a constant thing to link your arms together!!!

even if you’re not necessarily walking, it is essential to link arms with you as he argues

one time jimin tried getting in between your linked arms with hobi bc he wanted to join

hobi IMMEDIATELY glares at him and jimin backed off like sheesh ok but u don’t get to do the things i do with y/n either

writing on each other’s forearms is a thing too

sometimes it’s to conversate when you’re not in the mood to talk verbally

sometimes it’s just about talking shit but don’t tell jin he has his coat on backwards he looks laughable

“can u choreograph something for twinkle twinkle little star”

“y/n i-...”

nAMJOON however feels like he should’ve met you earlier like WAY WAY EARLIER

he gets on with you so well and sometimes he just sulks to jimin

“why didn’t you introduce y/n earlier to me god what was life like before y/n”

brain talk is more prevalent than ever because there are thoughts that delve deep into your mind that sometimes only namjoon could get

noah fence but if you were to rant about this to jimin, he would just drone off and grumble and he’d turn to sleeping because he just can’t help it

movie symbolisms????? count that to him and jungkook

after watching parasite for the nth time, you’re sure all three of you had all bases covered but nO it was somehow bottomless

“isn’t it ironic and somehow oxymoronic that...”

he is eternally grateful for you because one night the boys wanted to have a seafood night and u may or may not have had some recipes sent in your airline gc with how your airplane food was made

(surprisingly it didn’t suck)

and you considered him since he hates it and you know what,, he gets something else cooked for him

god namjoon gets why taehyung is smitten with you

also joonie is a bit oblivious to this fact but the other boys notice that you always bring him back a trinket of some sort

you noticed (and jimin might have pointed out one time) that he tended to fiddle with things and do small tasks whenever he was ticked off or stressed out

you keep note that you should gift him one of those fun kiddie entertainment packs when you’re back to regular programming as a pilot

it’s also a constant thing for you to bury your head to his chest

for no reason at all

it’s really comforting to say the least

he could be preparing breakfast and you’re just trudging down the stairs still not fully awake

“hey. i’m making-...”

boop

“oh ok jus hang there if you want but u might get burnt by the pan but it’s ok it’s ur call”

jimin has become even much more of a precious being

gets in your nerves a bit more often than the last time but it’s normal at this point

head rubs that lull you to sleep are the best :((

taehyung sometimes looks to his hands because jimin got you to sleep instantly and he pouts

“how do you do that?? i wanna do that too pls”

jimin’s voice feels like a warm weighted comforter,, that you gotta admit

“your voice is very velvet-y and it’s unfair because i can’t stay mad at you”

“𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀“

you still make an awed face whenever jimin cracks his bones

you’re in the middle of being fond and being disgusted at the sound so it’s still a 50/50 whether you grimace or gasp at him

“can i pls borrow your hoops”

“you could ask a million times and i would still say no”

playing with his rings whenever you’re sad is a habit you would never grow out of

which is why you were attached to him by the hip,,, or rather hands ,,, when taehyung was in the verge of being an ass to you

jungkook is something ELSE

if you aren’t lingering around jimin or taehyung, you would definitely be around him

taehyung is most jealous with the two of you but no he didn’t say that :)

annoying each other is the no. 1 task 

but lately annoying feels like second nature now so it doesn’t seem like tradition anymore

you would be his audience whenever he’s drawing because you’re genuinely enthrilled with him and his work

“how are you so good at this”

you’re almost always trying to copy what he draws

“what were you attempting with this”

“i was attempting your drawing”

“lmao are you sure with that???”

jungkook likes playing with you by pretending that he’s annoyed

but when he sees that u made his art your lockscreen, he was so awed that he was literally about to BAWL

he pretends not to notice when you push your food to his plate because you either aren’t too keen with the dish or you’re just too full

when jimin calls you out for “y/n why are you putting ur food on jungkook’s plate” and jungkook with “and jungkook why are you accepting it”

kook just shrugs and comes to defend you

“nope i didn’t see anything hyung :D”

if you liked shoving your head to namjoon’s chest, you liked leaning on jungkook’s shoulder

seokjin looks most offended 

“not even half of me y/n not even H A L F of me”

this really warms taehyung’s heart

because not only are you close to him but also with his brothers!!

even if he wants to deck jungkook sometimes

and that he may need to work on his jealousy

but none of those things matter because he’s given the assurance that you’re exclusive

that he may be yours and you may be his 

as cheesy as that sounded

taehyung’s working on a plan to properly ask you out once bon voyage ends and not just steal cheek kisses from time to time

or hold your hand and avoid your gaze because he too will surely combust

or hug you from behind tenderly 

much to the teasing and the hoots of the boys

and jimin’s occasional scowls but that’s ok he’s moving on and slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t be overbearing this much anymore

bon voyage wraps soon enough

and truth be told you didn’t want it to end because you were in such bliss!!

it was a very memorable trip that you now carry close to your heart

and the fact that they still have a commercial to be filmed with you and some billboards to be shot makes you very :D

since the commercial was to be filmed tomorrow and you lived close to the airport, jimin initiated the idea of “hey what about if we just sleep over at y/n’s place??” which was very applauded

taehyung squeals the loudest when the idea was pitched in

“lol no you don’t get to sleep in the same bed as y/n”

namjoon shoots jimin a look that he was being overbearing again

“or you could just let her decide :)”

it’s only been four days since they last saw you but needless to say that it was borderline chaos when they met you at your apartment that was more on the spacious side

“y/n’s uncle kinda owns the building” jimin explains at first because the building did look more lavish than the average complex

“d-do i get to meet y/n’s uncle??” 

taehyung is a bit nervous because he didn’t know that fact obviously and now he’s meeting the family and he is unprepared jesus christ and-

“no he probably won’t like you”

“jimin sTOP making taehyung nervous because he’s gonna start sniffling again”

the lot of them get to your apartment before you because your flight got delayed and therefore jimin just had to whip out his key you gave him as an extra

he does it fast enough before taehyung takes a deep dive to how he doesn’t have an extra key from you or something like that 

jimin does feel like he’s being a bit hard on tae so he lays off of it for now

taehyung has the ultimate heart eyes for you the moment you come home

“i missed you” in the most adorable and heartwarming tone

and there it was again

a cheek kiss and not just a quick peck!!

a tight hug to your waist and a nuzzle against your hairline!!

MUCH WARMTH AND FUZZINESS

once jimin finally got to pry taehyung off of you because he claims that he’s hogging you all to himself, you’re met with very eager hugs and greetings

seokjin and basically everyone else are still in awe seeing you in your uniform so he squeezes in a quick pic in his phone 

you sent him a look and when you peered in, the picture turned out really cool with the nice lighting your apartment had

AND he’s really pushing it that it was good because of the app he downloaded that made pictures have a vintage film cam aesthetic to it

so you yielded and just told him to send the picture to you later 

aha ego boost :D

they insisted on cooking dinner since you did look a bit exhausted from your round of flights even if it was routine at this point (the highlight was when some people recognized you from the pics that went viral and asked to take a pic with you when you were greeting them out!!)

“are you really sure you’re gonna cook dinner, tae? i could always order-...”

“you don’t need to!! i wanna cook for you anyway!!”

that was heartwarming more than usual

jungkook clears his throat

“....,., and us”

“aha yes of course i meant for you and the boys as well :D”

you go to change clothes more than enthusiastically now

because things just seemed to be good with no complications at all

the idea of domesticity with taehyung makes you iMPLODE just by thinking about it

the thought was too soft and too fuzzy that you’ve become energized

maybe reading a couple of emails before taking a shower and cleaning up and getting yourself to look a bit more presentable isn’t a bad thing

it isn’t anything but sheer giddiness when you check your inbox and see an edited version of a run bts ep from a staff member you befriended during bon voyage!!!

you kinda get now what jimin was saying that you had the ability to have people wrapped around your finger

maybe it’s charisma you picked up from wanting to please people just so you could have extra credit???

anyways

it’s a run bts ep you get one of the first dibs on to watch so that’s always a reward

basically the context for it was that it was a hot tub confessions type of thing!! the twist was that they had to speak their heart out (their dislike is very much encouraged) over a certain someone bUT they had to rely on their ~telepathy because names wouldn’t drop

and it was a random selection to who would start the confession first and the others had to go with the flow and basically hope that they’re talking smack about the same person lol

only the name blank would be used and it for the pronoun!!

you were already making assumptions to who it would be about

it could be about jungkook because throughout the whole trip, he would literally gasp out of the blue and take the others in shock like seagulls going WHAT WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT WHAT

or maybe jimin because he’s a lil shit and would pull chairs and that hobi fell victim and was so annoyed because he fell on his ass so hard 

last prospect was seokjin simply because,, as jungkook emphasized throughout this whole trip,, “ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ” just because he complained about his lower back one time

speaking of jin, he gets chosen to open the game!!

and he buffers for a moment that gets another tease from jungkook 

“ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʰᶦᵐ ʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦˡᵏ“

“blank bought me an actual film camera!! bit more complicated than taehyung’s!! keeps telling me every five seconds about my settings and i!! i KNOW HOW TO WORK IT THANK U VERY MUCH!!”

although jin is a bit guilty about that because he admits that he has a more-than-sure feeling that most of his pics may or may not be either over-exposed or too dark

this reminds you of that time you bought a film camera for jin on a whim because it was on sale and you were talking about it the night before

lol what a coincidence

hobi takes second call

he is only about a quarter-percent sure to who jin was pertaining to so he trails around for a bit

“blank is like a broken kitchen timer”

he plays it safe with that one 

although there is some sort of edge with his bluntness because everyone might be a little drunk hehe 

“blank looks at things as if it was born yesterday!! literally goes :O”

even goes so far to imitate said expression and it makes everyone gIGGLE

yoongi snorts with that and now he’s a bit more feisty since he’s tipsy

“it joins me in my silence”

wait

“texts me even if i’m in the same room like wtf i can see you”

wait

hold on

“likes hUGGING ME TOO MUCH”

you really didn’t like making things about you because other people doing that makes you tick

but there’s this unsteady feeling in your gut

something that makes you think deep in thought and in doubt

jimin was next to speak so that calms your nerves

he would never, right??

maybe you’re just taking things to heart!! the boys really aren’t talking smack about you, right??

your breath is just held because jimin was surely taking his time in making a show with inhaling so deeply so he could yell a bit more dramatically

“DOES IT NOT HAVE ITS OWN CLOTHES????”

oh

your eyes flicker for a moment to the sweater that’s by your dresser

something of jimin’s that you forgot to return

oh.

“needier and whinier than jungkook”

it was the youngest’s turn to cackle

and at this point you’re only half-listening

you’re a bit too preoccupied with the hurt blooming in your chest

“i!! am!! not!! a!! baby!!”

jungkook’s meltdown makes everyone else laugh because right now he had his fists clenched and his face looking like a baby’s

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

there was just a little bit more hope lingering that this may no be about you at all

but god it was getting too specific 

too specific when it came to namjoon who was a bit more eloquent in speaking and wanting to get his point across

“.... trying to memorize my rap in UGH! .....”

fuck this really is about you

and it’s not just sadness that’s overtaking you

makes you more than deflated than you thought you could ever be

“at this point i sometimes avoid her”

and god there’s this more than familiar laugh that fills your ears through and through

“lol namjoon where do you hide?? i hide in the pantry”

taehyung even?

at this point you can’t even bear watching the video anymore

willing your laptop closed so forcefully that it bOUNCED back open but you can’t even begin to worry that you might have put a crack on the screen

shoving it to your desk with the screen facing anywehere instead of you being the best option

the hurt is painfully fresh and oddly felt so surreal

god were you really that intolerable?

you didn’t know how to cope with what you’ve just heard nor experienced

but the only thing you were sure about is that your situation has just been too good

perhaps this was the complication you were looking for because you weren’t used to things being so good

and you know for sure that this feeling isn’t good at all

and you hated it

at this point you’re just trying to go about your previous plans of showering and cleaning up but the eagerness isn’t there anymore

nor is the eagerness to see the boys

nor is the eagerness to see taehyung

didn’t even notice that you were taking up much time that jimin was at your door knocking, voice gentle and inquiring

“y/n did you fall asleep??”

you’re very much tempted to not go out at all because you lost your appetite for eating too

very much so that you make no move at all and actually think that jimin’s given up on knocking at your locked door

but then your phone rings and he knows for sure that you haven’t gone to sleep because it would’ve been put on silent

“are you hiding???”

you pretty much are and you don’t wanna go out at all

but you basically had no choice to

it was a pressure to wipe at stray tears and say “i’m coming” in an unwavering voice and even more-so pretend that nothing’s wrong at all

or the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you and jimin’s prodding makes everyone else wonder

“are you crying??”

the question doesn’t faze you but it does take you by surprise now that you aren’t comfortable with the situation nor the new attention

taehyung’s getting worried because now he notices the redness in your eyes and the bit of puffiness in your lips

“just sleepy. my eyes tear up when i’m sleepy, right?” you’re using jimin’s knowledge about you against him and he agrees to that almost instantly

can’t help thinking that something was fishy though

you weren’t telling him off when he was bickering to taehyung that he shouldn’t sit next to you for dinner

didn’t react either when tae let off a little victory giggle and grinned when he sat next to you not one bit of acknowledgement when a replay of cake boss was on your tv with jin’s eyes flickering over to you repeatedly but he doesn’t receive an excited glance back

even yoongi found you oddly too quiet and he was tempted to pull out his phone to text you

it’s weirdly off

there’s something missing

namjoon was starting to get worried because you aren’t really engaged in this conversation with a topic he’s direly interested about

“and something done to that degree would just be far too suspicious, right?”

“mhmm yeah”

:(

even jungkook who’s kinda throwing himself at you and you’re just barely responding

he’s wriggling himself to fit by your side and just curl up and when he looks at you expectantly to do something, he just gets a pat on the head

a pat??????

hobi’s being over the top with his reactions right now to try and gauge a reaction from you but to no avail at all

normally he would’ve made you laugh or atleast smile at this point

but there’s nothing

just nothing

taehyung gets you alone on the couch because everyone else was just dispersed at this point and are bumping into each other asking if they knew what happened to you

jimin himself is pressured because he prides himself in being your closest friend aND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU

tae is a lil bit more confident that he could coax out to why you were acting so differently

even gets far as to hold your hand and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck

“everything okay, baby?”

god and he’s only called you baby only for a handful of times

“yeah”

that didn’t hurt taehyung’s ego

not at all

or make him overthink to why you’re not all that willing to open up to him nor even look interested in this conversation he’s carrying alone on his back

no not at all

not even when jimin has the most balls out of the group and is the testing point to see how the waters would go

while the night’s coming to an end and everyone’s slowly starting to settle in

“aha so where are we gonna crash anyway?”

you know what he’s trying to get at 

but seeing to it that what you just watched prior to this and perhaps for even a longer period besides that particular episode you don’t even wanna watch

you might as well not give anyone the sense of satisfaction nor pride; even if the question took you by surprise with how bluntly he addressed it

“uhm well the guest room now has two beds since some friends come over from time to time”

“but-”

“yeah the huge couch could fold over as a bed”

“but-”

“i could also-...”

“but y/n you have a king-sized bed!!”

jimin blurts out and almost whines out, a frown evident on his face as you keep your will not to break

“oh. just wanna sleep alone, jimin, yeah? kinda tired because of work today.”

he almost always gets what he wants and this blooming feeling inside him isn’t because of the embarrassment that you didn’t grant his wishes of just plopping beside you on your bed 

it’s because he’s thinking of why not

taehyung tries his best to just swallow the lump in his throat because he may or may not have daydreamed that he’d get to share beds with you

nothing but cuddling in his mind and the tiny bit of friskiness but that’s beside the point

he doesn’t wanna think about how there are no goodnight hugs

the closest thing to it was jungkook receiving a pat on the shoulder

because it happened that his arms were outsretched awkwardly

no cheek kiss for taehyung either

yeah it’s perhaps just fatigue as hobi tried to reason

they don’t know if they’re convincing each other or just themselves

maybe tomorrow would be better :D

...

aha no 

in fact at this point of morning when everyone knows that you’d be awake and it happens to be your off-day before the shoot tomorrow

and that whenever they’re around, you’d rather linger around them than to stay cooped in your room because you would be too sluggish then go back to sleep again

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

yeah you’d rather keep your pride at this point

jimin knocks again and you know you have no choice if you wanted this to go as discreet and as smooth as possible without raising suspicions that you knew

jin panicked for a moment because he was making french toast that he saw from damn milktpapi to try and catch your attention so when he hEARD your door click he was rapping litanies faster than the rapline ever could

they unconsciously just gravitate towards the couch and are practically hovering around you

you’re awfully quiet and the only input you give is when you’re asked a direct question

the only noise was coming from them reminiscing about their bv trip 

namjoon keeps bringing you up with “yahhh do u remember when y/n-....”

yoongi makes a point to keep laughing and have his arms protruding and therefore nudging you each time

at one point he almost shoves you but he’s barely met with a reaction

goddamn does he need to throw you off a cliff or something just to get a rise out of you

they really think that there must be something wrong 

so right when they wanted to open it up, they literally get interrupted but this time with a doorbell

you practically leap at that opportunity because quite literally were you saved by the bell

you don’t know who’s ringing your bell and why but you’re willing to take it 

jimin knows that you aren’t expecting anyone besides them as he’s made you promise

he might as well square up right now and be huffy about it

you’re bordering on confusion and curiosity as you open the door and even more-so your audience behind you who may or may not be in the same state

“theo??”

yoongi’s ears immediately perk up at that while his eyes go the widest

he’s toppling over as he scrambles for a vantage point that would get to see theo but without neither you nor theo seeing him

oh my god is this really your prfoessional basketball player for an ex-boyfriend

the boys are panicked to how yoongi’s acting and they even help him adjust his position even if they don’t know what it’s for

“wHAT YOONGI WHAT WHAT WHAT”

“BE QUIET”

he’s racking his brain for the description you gave and the picture you showed him

tall? intimidatingly. shoulders? perhaps even broader than seokjin’s. muscles? even more defined than jungkook when he lived in the gym. fluffy and silky-looking hair? enviously so :((

oh god it is theo

is he supposed to fanboy now

wait 

what was your ex doing here anyway

“i’m just gonna be out for a second, yeah?”

you say aimlessly and yoongi catches your gaze and he pretends to eat french toast while he’s stretched out on the floor to not break his cover

no one even has a chance to question nor respond because you’re already shutting the door

“WHO WAS THAT”

“WHY IS HE HERE”

“i sWEAR i saw him on tv once”

“taehyung are you ok”

yoongi’s bombarded and even if he’s shocked at the the turn of events because one second ur eating french toast with them and the next you’re out the door; he does have a bit more of an idea

“oh that was theo”

...

“are we supposed to automatically know who tHEO is???”

“you gonna add more context to that or????”

“even jimin doesn’t know!!!”

“theo’s a basketball player”

there are a couple of awed reactions

even namjoon’s explosive “aHHHHH so that’s where he’s from”

but there’s this question that’s begging to be asked

jimin taking front line as he asks with so much spite

“why is theo here then??”

this baffles yoongi too

most times he just doesn’t sugarcoat things and his mouth speaks the truth before he could even think of something else

“aish i don’t know i just know that she’s y/n’s ex so stop asking me if-...”

jimin’s in the corner with his mouth dropped, tongue poking at his cheek

“oh uhm i didn’t know that”

taehyung is sat on the floor with his attention not on the french toast anymore

eyes distant and not blinking as he’s nodding

“i see”

both jimin and taehyung clearly need time to process this bit of information

the conversation ends at that and everyone else staggers around

jimin’s in thought because why didn’t he know that??

shouldn’t he know that?

and what’s it with yoongi knowing instead of him?

taehyung, on the other hand, is conflicted with what he should feel

he’s jealous that’s for sure

the both of you covered masses of topics during the outing

but it never came to the topic of past flames

were you meaning not to tell him? or theo wasn’t talked about because the topic never came????

is this insecurity that he’s feeling

jungkook has to hold taehyung’s head still because he’s still nodding while deep in thought

you really weren’t expecting theo to show up at your doorstep

it’s in good intentions and you remained as friends but he was just too unexpected

“didn’t you know?? i’m gonna be one of those extras tomorrow for your airline commercial and it’s just a lil cameo but still!!! i don’t know i just wanted to visit you since i was in the area too :D”

and that’s what ended up with you coming with him to the little cafe at your complex with the promise that it was just gonna be quick and you’ll show him out

and perhaps that you don’t wanna be in the same room as them either

avoiding is good

yeah it would be good

:)

jimin doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove either but there’s this tug on his chest that basically yelled at him that he was a shitty friend

hasn’t been an hour ever since you left but he’s kinda sitting there fazed, whatever the other was saying coming in his ear and going out the other

“i lost my charger :(((”

jimin’s mindlessly answering to a pouty namjoon

“y/n has the same laptop. you could just get the charger by her desk”

he says naturally as if it’s clockwork and only waves him off when namjoon asks if it would be okay with you

he smiles at that and practically bounces to your unlocked room

quickly finds your desk and looks for a familiar charger

oh uhm it’s still connected to your laptop

jimin already said it was no worries so namjoon sleekly takes it out of the port with little hesitation

why did your laptop turn on

wait

is that his face??

is that

is that them in a hot tub

jimin’s wondering why namjoon is taking so long

he himself hasn’t been in your room for a long time and the thought makes him spring up

“hyung??”

fuck

oh god

it feels like freezing cold water was just splashed onto their spines without warning

jimin immediately pales

it’s taehyung who piles in last to your bedroom with all the commotion he could hear

he wants to absolutely deck himself 

everyone’s just speechless when they clicked play on the video even when they had this underlying feel to what it was

there’s a collective intake of sharp inhales because they couldn’t even finish the episode in which they basically talk shit about you for a solid three minutes

jimin has his face on his hands and he’s visibly stressed as everyone else is

couldn’t even tell on which blow was the hardest because they were all so harsh in their own ways

basically hit where it hurts most 

they were drunk beyond their comprehension and weren’t necessarily thinking

the episode was filmed pretty much in the first day of bv 

and whatever circumstance that night was in, it was still no excuse

absolutely no excuse to how they acted

maybe they took joking and overexaggerating too far

but whatever route they took, be it honest or not, no doubt that they were sure it hurt you

god a mental breakdown is already creeping at the back for all seven of them

tAEHYUNG’S SOBBING

jimin’s shaking

jungkook’s rubbing his eyes

jin and namjoon are repeating themselves

hobi’s dead silent

yoongi’s hands are practically trembling

it’s when you go home that you’ve momentarily forgotten that everything was going downwards because you spent the last hour or two being distracted by theo in just your pajamas

but it’s when you know that they know

and some can’t even look you in the eye

jimin’s the first to shoot up from his seat and god he looks somehow wrecked

“y/n i-...”

“m’sorry for being introlerable and all of those things, yeah? won’t happen again.”

everyone tenses at that

you shouldn’t even be apologetic!!

in fact they’re the ones who fucked up and you’re the one who’s acting as if you did

this makes them even more guilty

they all pipe in and try to point that out but you just easily drown them out with a tilt of your head

taehyung who’s standing by your doorframe just buffers as if to reach out for you but he retracts it quickly

they’ve really done it this time huh

it’s all just in characteristically empty spirits

the shooting next day was painful

having to drive together and be squished in between yoongi and jungkook whose mouths were so dry and eyes glossy

“i didn’t mean it”

jungkook first says under his breath and it’s quite a hitch in his throat when he adds on to it

“we weren’t thinking at all”

it’s a quiet show as jungkook and yoongi try to apologize to you and you’re in the middle trying to just sit through it all

it’s a quick nod as you have for a response before you hurriedly go down the van in perfect timing

you did listen and the apologies were sincere and heartfelt

just not too keen on forgiving something of that gravity in an instant

even with their promise that they could work something out to have that bit cut out or even scrap the whole episode if necessary

you just couldn’t wait to get the day over

you’re rigid with them and them trying to get to talk to you in between takes

the skits required more of them than you anyway so you just sat that one out

all while they try to get genuine with the feelings and lines indicated in their script

taehyung was the most distracted

even if people expected more of him given his acting credentials

and when it’s your turn to be filmed at, he can’t help staring

you looked blank

there’s this certain hyunbin (and also to your surprise) that’s gonna act as your co-pilot that got to make you smile a time or two after making a fool out of himself

if only taehyung knew that theo’s gonna be here as an extra

he would flip and THEN bawl

and as if things wouldn’t get even more unfavorable for you, they decide to cram in the photoshoot for the billboard at this very day too

multiple shoots of you being in the middle of them with a commercial-like smile

you having a solo one

them having one too

the boys wearing your airline’s flight attendant uniforms

trying to have a candid shot but all of you should be laughing and smiling as per the director

that was painful

that was really painful for the staff to watch

most painful for the eight of you

they even had to count to three so you could laugh together even if that takes away the essence of a candid shot

jimin wants so badly to hold you and talk to you

taehyung wants to get on his knees desperately if it means earning your forgiveness

the shoot raps and you’re zooming out the set

tae breaks down yet again because they’re gonna be held up by your ceo for awhile

:(

things feel empty and slow

everyone got around to texting you their apologies because as much as they’re desperate to apologize, they’ve done enough damage and respecting your space is the least they could do

that doesn’t stop jimin dropping in from time to time to leave something by your door

nor taehyung who doesn’t give up with all his texting and calling and sometimes waiting on your door

jimin and him coincidentially went at the same time and they just teared up and sulked together

you weren’t even home at that time

of course you’ve read their messages

trying to talk it out too as you’ve refused to succumb into your passive-aggressiveness

admittedly

you don’t wanna lose what you have either

:(

it’s only been two weeks so far

progress as you reply to texts here and there

slowly warming up again!!

namjoon earning back his partner for talking about movie symbolisms and perhaps everything wrong in this barren earth

seokjin getting to send you incorrect quotes from cake boss again left and right

hobi gaining his online shopping partner back 

yoongi making you promise that you’d hug him when he gets to see you again

jungkook vowing to teach you how to draw and makes sure to send daily content so he could make you switch wallpapers

jimin

well jimin

jimin’s going over the top as he has a lot to mend

but forgiveness was clear in the path and when you finally agreed to meet up with him after your shift

(he’s made the effort to wait for you in your lounge hours before as he got to pull some strings)

and then when you have a drink over it and talk about what happened properly, it just ends in a massive hug and some tears shed :((

“i missed u so much”

“i know”

“i could really be a fucking asshole sometimes”

“you are”

“you are none of those things and i don’t ever wanna stop having you as my friend”

“aha yes”

“you love me too much and i love you too much and this is forever now ok pls don’t get mad at me ever again”

basically everything was slowly returning back to normal

taehyung hasn’t texted you for a couple of days

even if you barely responded and miss him as much

it’s something you still have to come to terms with because his blows hit the hardest

you’re losing sleep just by thinking about him :(

you try to get on with your days with the knowledge that you get on with the six of them

things becoming more hectic for you because sometimes you forget that you’re famous now

but sometimes it was just lackluster if you were to admit

you basically sprint at the chance to pick up a normal shift again because you’ve missed flying

you liked being pampered for shoots but being tired from flying is the ache you’ve been craving for :((

it’s when you’re briefed that the plane you’d be flying isn’t your usual aircraft yet you still have the clearance for it

it’s when you just had the kick to be extra punctual and jump at the chance to greet passengers boarding

it’s these little extras in your day that you were so eager for things

that things just seem to be aligning

:)

taehyung’s by the front-most seat

hyunbin by his side as he gets up and goes to the cockpit to do nothing but take your place

it’s oddly warm just by looking at taehyung

no apologies have been said yet and it’s when that hyunbin practically says over the mic that “y/n take a seat and put your seatbelt on jesus christ” you do beside tae

the atmosphere’s just a loving type of warm

you really can’t explain it

it’s the same type of slow burn the both of you felt in the outing

the same anticipation you had for each other even if the other was doing the bare minimum

“hi”

taehyung croaks out after an eternity, a grin he tries to earnestly keep as it breaks out

“let’s talk.”

he’s nervous as he sees you relax to your seat, knowing in routine that the plane was to take off 

taehyung ever-so slightly shifts in his seat, shoulders touching with yours and hand in an armrest as he flexes them so slightly -- only supposed to be an attempt at a loving tease but it’s when you shift towards him and have your hand skim his for the slightest fraction

:)

“let’s talk.”

[redthreadoffate]

a selection of princesses [tom holland]

a repost, originally posted in my former writing blog

relationship: prince!tom x princess!reader

warning: swearing, none; mistakes here or there

request (anon): hi! would u consider writing about prince!tom holland x princess!reader were tom is the heir to the throne and the reader goes to visit the Hollands at the castle, ends up having some interesting encounters with him and they make out, are all lovey-dovey and fall in love? so tom decides he wants to marry her and not any other princess

notes:  can i just say that i’m glad this is not royal!tom x pauper!reader/rich!tom x poor!reader because THAT TROPE IS OVERUSED IN THIS COUNTRY I LIVE IN IT’S FREAKING EVERYWHERE

summary: prince thomas is to be betrothed, but who is he looking for?

Unlike your older sister, you loved being a princess. You loved being pampered, attending all the balls and parties, eating all the best food, learning from the best professors in the kingdom, riding horses, having archery as your best sport, you loved everything. However, that also meant that, as one of the princesses of the Eastern Kingdom, you were going to be betrothed to one of the princes. And if you were being totally honest, you didn’t mind at all. All the princes were handsome anyway.

But there was one prince that caught your attention. You’ve never spoken to him because he was always under the watch of his guards and you were the life of the party, always being called by one group or another. You’ve talked to all the other princes, except Prince Thomas of the Northern Kingdom.

When you would be alone in your chambers, or anywhere else for that matter, you would tend to daydream about him. How he would act, talk…how he would watch you and listen to you as you entertained him with songs and dances, and maybe even funny stories that you’ve collected as you grew older.

Your sister would scold you for such nonsense. She knew you were going to have a husband from one of the kingdoms so she deemed it wise not to think of just one. She was betrothed to one of the princes in the Western Kingdom. And she hated it She hated being a princess, she would have rather have been a commoner.

“You say that, sister,” you would start whenever she would whine about the whole princess fashion, “but once you have a feel of being a commoner, you would think of the good life you have here.”

In your kingdom, there were only two princesses, you and your sister, and three princes, your older brothers. In the Western Kingdom, there were two princes and one princess. The Southern Kingdom had the most princesses, you can’t even remember how many, but there were three princes. The Northern Kingdom, the kingdom ruling above everyone else, only had one heir, Prince Thomas.

The Creator knew how much she wanted to marry him.

“You don’t even know him yet,” your sister would say. “At least I knew Prince Phillip before we were told that we are to marry.”

You made a face. “The only reason they brought him here is to obviously tell you that you are betrothed. Why else would they bring a prince here?”

But your sister would have none of it. For her, their parents' will was law despite her wishing she wasn’t a princess. “If I can’t beat them, join them,” she would chant. You remember the time she had rebelled and you think of how different things now are with her. “I don’t like being a princess, that I admit, but this is my life. Creator help me.”

Months later, there is word that the High King and High Queen had wanted to betroth their son Prince Thomas. However, unlike most traditional arrangements wherein parents and matchmakers would talk it over, they would invite all the princesses of the kingdom to their castle for a few days.

“That’s odd,” your mother, the Queen of the Eastern Kingdom, said. “I wonder who decided on this.” It was dinner time in the castle and your mother was reading the parchment given by the messenger as you all ate around the table.

“What is it, Dear?” you father, the King, asked, not taking his eyes off the slab of meat on his plate.

“Prince Thomas is to be wed.” Your heart sunk at that. “But instead of the normal arranged marriage, they’re inviting all the princesses from the different kingdoms. The West will go first. Then the South. And finally, us, the East.”

Although this excited you, you still tried to play it cool. “Will sister be coming with us as well?”

“She’s betrothed, Darling,” your mother reminded you. “And your father and I are not going. You’ll be traveling alone.”

“Is that so…” you murmur. And your excitement quickly becomes worry.

Finally, it’s the day of your visit. You have finished packing all your necessities and you climb onto the carriage and wave goodbye to your family. Your sister smirked at you and you discreetly stick out your tongue at her.

The ride to the North was a tiring one. You had fallen asleep numerous times as you moved along. You had stopped for two nights, where you got proper sleep, and continued on during the day. When you reached the Northern Kingdom, you prayed to the Creator that you still looked presentable enough to the High King and High Queen.

When you were led into the throne chamber, you curtsied at the sight of the two rulers. “My King, my Queen. It is an honor to be in your presence.”

“Princess y/n,” the Queen called out. Her voice was soft and light. Very motherly if you were to be asked. “It’s great to finally meet you. You are quite the showstopper, aren’t you, little one?” She smiled knowingly.

You blushed at the comment and tried not to stammer. “I am just doing what any princess should do, your majesty.”

“Aren’t you a lovely girl,” the Queen continued. “I remember seeing your sister. You two look quite different. She’s a beauty as well, but you are another story.”

You turn even redder as you thanked her.

“Thomas will be choosing his wife and you are lucky enough to have no sibling rivalry,” the King said. “But you are still in the pool when we consider the countless other princesses, not to mention the ones in the South.” He chuckled.

Your stomach churns at the possibility of not being picked but you smile anyway. “Being a candidate is a great honor, your majesty. I am happy just being here.”

“Thomas is out hunting now,” the King informed you. “But please, make yourself at home. We’ll call you for supper time.”

“Thank you, your majesty.” You curtsied again before being led out of the throne chamber.

The castle is much bigger than the one in your home. There were also many twists and turns until you reached a corner where a large portrait of a young lady was hung on the wall. The lady was beautiful and you unknowingly touch your own face to compare. “Who is that?” you asked.

“That is the prince’s grandmother. This will be your chamber, princess,” the maid told you. It was on the side of the portrait.  The maid opened the door and you followed. The chamber was just as big as your own and you smile, it really did kind of feel like home. “Would you need anything else, princess?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m okay here. Thank you.” And so she leaves and you’re left alone. You look at the bags and boxes you have. You’ll be living here for two weeks but you’ve packed for two months. Shaking your head, you decide you want to explore first before unpacking.

Slipping out of the door, you begin to walk around, making sure to remember where your chamber was. For about an hour, all you did was take a tour of the humongous castle. You would make sure to keep away from the King and Queen, not wanting to leave the impression that you sneak around.

When you check the time, you realize it was almost time for supper. You look around you for any signs where you should go to get back to your chamber. “Oh no,” you mutter when you realize you have no clue as to where you are. “Fuck. Not good.”

So you take your chances and walk in the hallways you believe looked familiar. After about fifteen minutes, you still haven’t found your chamber. You sighed in despair. “Definitely not good.”

“What’s not good?”

You looked up and felt your heartbeat speed up. “Prince Thomas.”

“Hello, princess y/n. Are you lost?”

You hated to admit but, “Yes. I wanted to explore and I thought I’d be able to remember where my chamber is. This experience has taught me that I’m not good with directions.”

He smiled and your heart leaped. “Which chamber did they give you?”

“The one where there’s this portrait of this beautiful lady, your grandmother.”

“They gave you the chamber across from mine. Come on, I’ll show you the way.” He gestured for you to follow him. “So, princess y/n, how do you find the castle?”

“Bigger than ours,” you replied. “I wonder how you don’t get lost in here.”

“I still do,” he laughed, “so if ever they don’t find me, they know I’m running off looking for new secret passages and shit.”

You’re taken aback by his swearing but you also feel that you’re not alone. “There are secret passages here?”

“Aren’t there in yours?” He turned to look at her.

You look down shyly. “I’ve been taught to be a lady. Perhaps my brothers have discovered some already. I should ask.”

You and Tom walked the distance to your chambers while talking. When you finally reached the familiar corridor, you sighed in relief and hope it isn’t supper yet. “Have you unpacked?” he asked you. When you shake your head he offered to help out. Although you knew a prince shouldn’t be doing this job, you can’t help but ask if he was sure. “Yeah, I don’t have anything important to do. Just let me freshen up, I’m all sticky from hunting.”

You two go your separate ways. As you close the door behind you, you lean back and squealed. Regaining your composure, you quickly begin unpacking, not wanting to seem like you were waiting for him. Minutes later, there was a knock on the door and you let him in.

“I’ll start with this bag,” he told you. You let him be and begin fixing your books on the shelf. That’s when you realize the silence. You turned back and see Prince Thomas staring at the contents inside the bag with a red face. “Princess y/n. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to touch these.”

“What’s wrong?” you ask. You walk towards him and check the bag. You turn red as well. “I’m so sorry, Prince Thomas. I didn’t know they were in this bag. I’m sorry, I really am.”

He gave a nervous laugh. “It’s okay. I’ll just start with this other bag.”

You zip the bag you’re holding and turn away from him. Whoever placed your ladies undergarments in this bag was going to get it. ‘Calm down, y’/n, they didn’t know.’ You inhale and exhale before setting the bag down.

It’s been a few days since your stay in the castle. You’ve had some interesting encounters with Prince Thomas, or Tom as he preferred to be called, and you, in turn, allowed him to call you by your first name.

And by interesting meaning, after spending time with him every day, you were in the garden and you found yourselves making out. If you two were asked who started it, you wouldn’t know what to answer. And you know what, it didn’t matter to both of you. It wasn’t the best to tell anyone yet about their relationship so, behind the walls, you two would cuddle and trace circles in the palms of each other’s hands, telling one another stories and secrets. Under the table during eating hours, you’d brush your foot on his leg and you could see him turning pink at the gesture.

When it was time for you to go home, that was the only time things went public. How could you two send letters to one another without others knowing?

‘I’ve told them, y/n. I’ve told Mom and Dad about who I want to marry. It’s you. I want to marry you. I don’t want to marry any of the other princesses they asked me to consider before I make a final decision. I love you, y/n. I don’t know if you love me back yet but I will wait. I will wait for your love before we become betrothed.’

He didn’t have to wait long. Your next letter to him told him how you felt. You loved Tom back.

Days after, it was announced that Prince Thomas of the Northern Kingdom, Crown Prince of all Kingdoms, has chosen Princess y/n of the Eastern Kingdom, to be his betrothed.

Everyone celebrated. Parties were held and everyone had admired the engagement ring on your finger. And as people talked to you, as again you are the light and life of the party, you looked back and saw Tom smiling at you.

Finally, you didn’t have to wonder how he would act or how we would talk. Or how we would respond to when you entertained him. “Thank you, Creator,” you murmured before turning back to the group you were with. Unbeknownst to you, Tom murmured the same thing.

[s-o-n-de-r]

What a decade of progress looks for Lights

As the 2010s end, everyone has a reason to reflect on the past decade, but for sonder all-time favorite electro-pop sensation Lights, there’s a treasure trove to look back on.

After winding down from her summer tour in support of her Skin & Earth acoustic, which is just one entry in what has become a standard practice of releasing an acoustic version of her latest record, Lights dropped two announcements. First, it was the release of “Long Live,” a seedy, mellow, sentiment-heavy track featuring Travis Barker and looking back on her career. Second, she announced the long-awaited release of a vinyl pressing of her 2009 debut LP, The Listening.

Comparing Skin & Earth acoustic (and its full production namesake) to The Listening era is nearly black and white. There are certain things about both albums, such as her unmistakable singing voice and sense for a more poetic, metaphorical lyricism than other pop artists, that carry through, but there’s also definite growth.

That’s unsurprising after more than a decade of releasing music. After all, musicians are not robots and careers are not linear, instead informed by life changes and heartache and internal reflection and all of the heart and soul and growth that goes into making art. Each Lights release feels like a distinct entry, so her career has been painted by different brush strokes that nonetheless have a single identity. As a solo artist, she has the benefit of being solely in charge of her art and isn’t sidetracked by band mates leaving, disagreements, etc.

Artistic control lends well to pushing the envelope, which is what Lights’ latest acoustic record and summer tour did. Skin & Earth acoustic was recorded in locales that match the tracks’ placement in her comic book series, which means most of this record is not the product of a controlled studio setting. The songs were recorded on a cliffside, in a truck cab, in a tunnel, during rain, and by a river (among others). For Lights, this meant setting up in location with her gear and recording. As a result, the ambiance of these locations can be felt in the songs, and you can only imagine how cathartic it would be to record a song on a cliffside or by a river.

Her acoustic records have come with more and more creative flourishes over the years, starting with string arrangements back on Siberia acoustic, but the presentation of Skin & Earth acoustic ratchets it up to a whole new level. It’s a reminder, much like how the original Skin & Earth was the soundtrack to the comic series written and drawn by her, that Lights is doing things that you rarely see out there in music.

The world she’s built around herself attracts passionate fans. There are few artists I’ve kept my eyes on so closely for so long, and it’s a little surreal to think about each of her releases and remember the era of my life that they were released in. 2009 was peak MySpace scene time – it feels like forever ago considering the pace that music moves at. Back then, Lights wore her iconic headbands. Now, her hair is dyed a vivid red. Back then, I was a budding concert reviewer. Now, I somehow figured out how to work a camera and bring it to shows while also talking about the experience to strangers online.

Lights’ growth as a person and an artist is what drove me up north during the midst of her Skin & Earth acoustic tour this summer. I’m a fan of her music, her showwomanship, and her production, but also the lively energy she radiates as a human being. Knowing the creative project that the new record was and knowing that she’d bring the ambiance on stage with her, I got on a plane from Florida to Philadelphia to see four of her acoustic shows in the dead middle of summer.

I was living out of a backpack going from Philadelphia to New York to Washington, D.C., sleeping in Airbnb rooms and overnight trains. When I landed in Philadelphia and walked out of the terminal with nothing but an extra pair of clothes, my camera, and toiletries all stuffed in my backpack, I was smacked in the face with a wave of heat and realized I had brought the Florida summer with me up north. It was stifling and awful and the city was filled with dead air, but eventually, the sun went down and people went in to see Lights play at The Foundry.

Acoustic shows in general feel more intimate than full-band shows, but Lights didn’t settle for a coffee shop concert mood. Along with an ensemble of string players, she had a full light production and footage rolling behind her as she played the songs. It set a larger-than-life mood, which is fitting because she has often felt larger-than-life and is the sort of person that commands attention when she’s in a room.

This would be one of the shows where I’d connect with friends who would have never otherwise come into my life if Lights wasn’t a part of it. Social networking via fandom is by no means a radical or new thing, but Lights has brought me everything from casual acquaintances to cherished lifelong friendship, and much of it happens organically and randomly out of a mutual love for Lights. This tends to happen to different extents depending on the artist, but generally, it seems that the more genuine, interactive, and present an artist is, the more fans seek each other out. An artist with a comfortable relationship with their fans builds extreme loyalty, so when two fans meet, they tend to bond over that loyalty. It’s easy to meet a Lights fan and know that they “get it” – “it” being the general mythology of her career, her music, her extra-curriculars, her one-on-one interactions.

That brings us to the next day in New York, New York. After a morning Amtrak ride from Philadelphia to the Big Apple, I spent the day in the city and headed to the Bowery Ballroom. Six years prior, on Lights’ Siberia acoustic tour, I found myself at the same venue with a friend from Florida. Over the years, the larger Lights fandom has traveled far to go to shows together and would often end up forming large groups for shows, sharing hotels and taking group photos.

It’s a good contrast to reflect on where I was at that point in my life compared to now, and the same to Lights’ career. That tour was the first acoustic tour with a larger production, it was during her brief blond phase, and she was pregnant with her daughter Rocket.

Now, her hair was red as a fire engine and she was returning to the Bowery Ballroom with four more albums under her belt. The special thing about this night in New York was that she was playing two shows back-to-back – the second was added after the first quickly sold out.

If you were lucky enough to attend both shows, you got to experience a one-off phenomenon. Knowing that there would be a good amount of fans who came to both shows, Lights changed her set list between the performances and threw in some deeper cuts. It isn’t abnormal for artists to change their sets slightly from night to night, but typically fans don’t get that experience unless they travel to multiple shows. Here, it was all encapsulated in the same space.

The Bowery Ballroom is a comfortable little space. To get in, you have to first go down through the basement and bar area and then go back up into the room proper, where you’ll find the floor and a balcony above with a large window that pours in sunlight. For Lights’ acoustic shows here, the floor is seated, so it has more of performance hall feeling than a standing concert. It’s low energy and people generally aren’t talking too loud, so it makes it easy to focus on the magic of the set.

She hit on all her core Skin & Earth acoustic songs for both shows, but the rotated songs really gave the night some heart. “Don’t Go Home Without Me” was touching and poignant, as was “Same Sea,” and it was a total surprise to hear “Face Up” all the way from The Listening days make an appearance. “Drive My Soul” and “February Air” were also pulled from The Listening, giving these songs a chance to make an appearance after years of sitting dormant. And all of these were given emotional depth between the soft but present drums and the keyboard and string additions. And this was all during contrast-y, mood-setting lights, starry projections, and forced shadows on the back of the stage. You could get lost in the warmth of the performance – Lights’ confidence and outgoing nature on stage is infectious and helps move it all along.

If you compared this show to a show 10 years ago, you’d see how much more developed her confidence is. Not to say that the Lights of 10 years ago wasn’t confident, but after motherhood, seven LPs and a handful of EPs, worldwide touring, collaborations, and much more, she’s really come into herself as a performer. Celebrating this seems to be what “Long Live” and looking back on the past decade seems to be about. It’s hard to enumerate every little thing she’s done to get up to this point, but as a fan, you can look back on her collection of accomplishments and feel proud.

After the New York shows, I had a few hours until my overnight train to the nation’s capitol, so I ventured into the sweltering bowels of the MTA at midnight and ended up at Times Square at 1 a.m. After a little sightseeing, I dragged myself onto my ride and ended up in Washington, D.C. around 7 a.m. for a long, hot, sweaty day. The so-called LightsArmy fan group was in full force at this show, with the post-show group photo featuring dozens. At this show, I actually met some fans I’ve known for years for the first time, and it’s always a surreal feeling because these people feel like friends you’ve been close to for years even though you’ve never met. In fact, that camaraderie has led to me staying on couches and staying with fellow fans across the country despite never actually meeting before. You know, the sort of thing your parents screamed at you to not do when you were a child.

U Street Music Hall felt like a shelter from the sauna outside. Tucked into a basement, it was another seated experience. As a photographer moving around the venue, it’s easy to lose track of the performance in the moment as you’re paying attention to what you’re getting, adjusting settings, etc., but Lights has a unique ability to draw you away from that and pause once in a while to truly take in what you’re seeing and hearing. At this point, after having seen her more than a dozen times over the last decade, her shows often evoke a sense of calm and zen that comes from nostalgia and emotional closeness to her music. When you’ve been going for a decade, seeing her on a new tour is like seeing her play in the present while you simultaneously relive all the other shows in the past, coming together like a big puzzle of pleasant memories in your head. For her, or any touring artist I imagine, this effect is far more pronounced, and this new “Long Live” era for The Listening feels a lot like a celebration of that long road from the past and through to the future.

---

Photos and words by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Like this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography publication at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook for more content like this!

Also check out:

Taking Back Sunday at Revolution Live

tiLLie trailblazes on tour with Lights

Silverstein at Revolution Live

X Ambassadors at Revolution Live

Rockstar Disrupt photos

[camillemontespan]

the abc of love [drake and camille]

For those who wish to know more about Dramille (yes that’s their couple name which I’ve just made up on the spot, come at me!)

@cora-nova thanks for creating these amazing questions, I enjoyed filling them out!

TAG LIST IN CASE YOU WANT TO READ AND MAYBE DO YOURSELVES FOR YOUR OTPS:

@sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @jovialyouthmusic @katedrakeohd @drakesensworld @notoriouscs @moonlightgem7 @ifyouseekheart

1. A - ANNIVERSARIES

They always celebrate their relationship anniversary. They do the same thing each year - sit in front of the fire out on the terrace and make smores. It’s simple but it’s cute and it suits them perfectly.

2. B - BELIEFS

Camille likes to think there is something after death. Drake is the opposite- he doesn’t believe in God and he thinks that once you’re dead, you’re dead. 

Camille says she doesn’t believe in star signs but she will still sneak a peak in the horoscope section of magazines, you know, just in case. 

3. C - COLLECTABLES

Drake has kept the receipt of their first dinner date together. He also has an album on his phone which are just photos he has taken of Camille. He looks at it whenever he misses her or just wants to feel warm and fuzzy.

Camille got into scrapbooking, thanks to Maxwell. She keeps photos, receipts, restaurant napkins, theatre tickets... everything they have done, she will keep a memento of. 

4. D - DRINKS & FOOD

Drake does most of the cooking, which is surprising to some people - they only see him when he is mocking the tiny finger food at court. When he cooks, he prepares hearty meals that are meant to be feasted on. 

Camille likes white wine. She also loves Espresso Martinis, which are perfect for a night out because it gets you drunk and keeps you awake at the same time. Drake thinks cocktails are unnecessary but if Camille asks him to join in, he will. He will always choose a Manhattan (unless he is at brunch and has a mimosa. More on that later).

They both love going to this seafood restaurant that is right by the harbour in Cordonia’s Old Town. The fish is caught that day and they will both sit outside, looking out at the harbour, eating grilled fish and drinking white wine (Drake will actually drink white wine if he is having fish, and red wine if he is having steak). 

Camille’s comfort food is mac n cheese as it reminds her of home.

5. E - EXERCISE

Camille enjoys barre class, Pilates and spinning. Drake prefers just sweating it out in the gym, but if it’s a sunny day, he will hike up the mountains. He feels free when he is high up, away from civilisation. 

They both watch NFL. Camille supports the Giants, Drake obviously supports the Texans. They host Superbowl at their house every year, which is always fun as they get really into it, with bets and hotdogs and whiskey. Hana and Maxwell don’t understand the rules, Liam is too busy checking his work emails and Olivia gets bored but they enjoy the entertainment. 

6. F - FIRST

Their first dance was at a ball in court and both wanted the other but couldn’t do anything about it. For Drake, that first dance was torture as he held her close, wishing he could kiss her.

Their first kiss was over a bottle of whiskey. Drake remembers Camille tasting of whiskey and watermelon lip balm. 

Their first time together was, again, after drinking whiskey. Drake had taken her back to her room to sleep off the whiskey but before she could go, he couldn’t help himself and kissed her. One thing led to another..

7. G - GOLD

They both don’t care for wealth or material possessions. Camille was working class and got her first job aged 14 to help her grandmother with the rent, food shopping, bills. She views money as a way to survive; not to flash the cash and spend on designer items or cars. 

Drake’s most prized possession is his grandmother’s engagement ring, which he proposed to Camille with. To him, it is priceless.

8. H - HOME

Camille’s parents died when she was five from a drug overdose. Camille was adopted by her grandmother, Gisele. They lived in a small house in the outskirts of New York. Camille is part French on her grandmother’s side - they are descendants of Madame de Montespan, mistress of Louis XIV. Gisele always talked about it - Camille doesn’t as she thinks nobody would believe her, plus she doesn’t like to brag.

Drake visited the ranch in Texas every summer and it’s a place where he feels happiest. 

9. I - ISSUES

Camille isn’t keen on Kiara (Kinky Kiara). They sometimes argue when Drake starts thinking that he doesn’t deserve this life, which Camille always takes  great pains to tell him he does.

10. J - JOLLY JOKER

Drake loves humour when comedians say the very thing they shouldn’t. Anything that’s controversial, Drake likes. 

Camille is incredibly ticklish and Drake knows it. Drake takes advantage of this all the time. 

11. K - KIDS

Camille loves babies and gets broody easily. Since she lost her parents so young, she has always wanted babies and a home to create. 

When they had Lily, Drake was over protective from the start. He would watch over her while she slept, scared she would stop breathing. 

Camille is very hands on and loves Lily with every fibre of her being. This child will never feel lonely or lost.

12. L - LOOK

Camille will wear Prada, Gucci and Chanel when she is on Duchess duty. When she is off duty, she likes to wear Anthropologie and The Kooples. She takes skincare seriously, and has the wrinkle free skin to prove it, and her favourite perfume is Gabrielle by Chanel - her mother was called Gabrielle, so the perfume holds a special meaning to her. 

Drake relies on the old faithful - denim shirt and jeans. But, when he suits up for court events, he really suits up. Armani suits. His favourite perfume is Bleu de Chanel, which smells woody and masculine.

13. M - MEDIA

Drake doesn’t like social media as he doesn’t see the point in it. Who cares what you ate for dinner? Why are people taking photos of their dinners? 

They both have Netflix. Drake likes Stranger Things (he fancies Nancy). Camille loves Queer Eye (can you believe?!)

14. N - NETWORK

Their core group consists of Liam, Maxwell, Hana and Olivia. They don’t like Madeleine but will tolerate her if she is around. Camille is the people person of the relationship; she sparkles and knows all the right anecdotes. Bertrand taught her well. 

15. O - OBLIGATIONS

Camille focuses more on Duchess duties. She hosts an open house every Thursday from 1-4, a tradition that was abandoned more than 200 years ago but which she has brought back. It means the citizens of Valtoria can visit the estate and speak to her in person regarding any issues they have.  Drake deals with things around the estate such as land conservation. 

16. P - PAMPERING

Camille goes to the spa with Hana and Olivia once a month. Drake likes the plunge pool.

Drake makes Camille breakfast in bed every Sunday. It is their couple time. They will sip coffee, eat waffles with nutella and bananas and read their papers. Sometimes, if he is feeling fun, he will make them mimosas (Hana introduced him to mimosas and he was ashamed to really like it).

17. Q - QUESTIONS

They are both private about their personal life as they don’t court attention. They share everything - Camille had to teach Drake to trust her with his secrets. It was another wall which she broke down.

18. R - ROUTINE

They both get up at 8am to have breakfast on their balcony. Camille attends meetings and Drake talks to landowners. They both have a meeting together for one hour in which they discuss their duties, progress etc but after that, they talk about normal things. They have dinner together every evening and they don’t talk about work.

19. S - SENSUALITY

They both love sex. They are both passionate and like to focus on the other. Drake is very generous and gives all of himself to her. They aren’t crazy in the bedroom but they have handcuffs and have used hot wax before. The balcony is one of their favourite places to have sex. Camille likes to be dominated over; any time he picks her up against a wall, she loves it. 

20. T - TOGETHER

They are such a cosy couple. They are always touching; whether its kissing or holding hands, they find a way to touch. Olivia says they are sickening.

21. U - UPS & DOWNS

For Drake, he only needs Camille and their daughter to be happy. 

He likes the simple things. He loves whiskey, the outdoors, the smell of wood burning in a fire. Texas. Endless summers in Texas. He loves the scent of Camille’s hair - coconut- and her watermelon lipbalm when she kisses him. 

Camille loves Drake and Lily. She adores their dog, Maxwell, named after their friend of course, and she loves New York. 

Camille is the eternal optimist while Drake can be very pessimistic. 

22. V - VACATION

They enjoy hiking up the mountains and city breaks. Rome was a particular favourite of theirs as they wandered round the city unnoticed, getting drunk on wine and overeating on pizza and pasta.

23. W - WEDDING

They married at the Walker ranch at sunset. Camille had planned most of it and had kept the location secret from Drake until she was forced to tell him (basically when the invitations were ready to be posted).  He got quite emotional and had to have a moment alone. So much joy.

They spent their wedding night by the lake at the ranch. It was really warm outside and they hadn’t wanted to be cooped up indoors. Drake found pillows and blankets and they consummated their marriage by the lake. 

24. X - EXs

Drake has slept around but has no ex-girlfriends. He didn’t think any girl deserved to be ‘saddled’ with him so he made sure he was distant and aloof. It didn’t work; the ladies loved it, wanting the chance to ‘help him’. He didn’t like many of the girls at court anyway as they were too spoiled or giggly or annoying. 

Camille had a boyfriend when she was 7 years old called Patrick which lasted one day. When she was 16, she had a boyfriend called James who she was with for two years. 

25. Y - YELLING

Camille gets emotional. Drake is rational. This swaps around when Drake is drunk; if they fight when they’ve been drinking, he shouts. Camille will treat him like a child, which only annoys him more. 

They fight when Drake relies too much on whiskey to cloud his negative thoughts. 

Camille is fantastic at the silent treatment. 

26. Z - ZOOM

They were made for each other. Drake can now die a happy man having been with her and Camille finally feels safe and loved and wanted. They are best friends wrapped up as lovers.

[jackalopejess]

To my Tumblr followers,

The following letter is being posted here for hosting purposes, as this is my only publicly maintained blog that people can easily visit. In truth, it has nothing at all to do with most of you. You may read it, if you wish, or disregard it. It recounts a big change in my life that happened following the death of a close friend.

-------

Hello,

My name is Jess Hillard, I am 26 years old (27 in February), and I was a very close friend of the late Richard Concepcion. Some of you know my name, some may not, but if you’ve followed Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends within the past seven years, you’ve seen my work. I illustrated many graphics used in episodes of the show, crafted an updated puppet, and rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit (with the exception of the vest, another friend made that). This is my first public statement since Richard’s death, as like many of you, I have needed time and space to grieve, and think about things. If you were a friend or fan of Richard’s, I kindly ask that you take some time to fully read this letter. I know it’s long, and I’m not the most eloquent writer there is, but it’s still extremely important that this be read, as it contains information about something Richard wanted me to do after he died. I’m very sad that he’s gone, but I can’t change that, and now it’s time for me to do what I need to do. Please allow me to better introduce myself by starting at our beginning:

Richard and I met in February of 2010 when I invited him to my 19th birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s here in Delaware. An unplanned trip to a CEC the summer before had sparked my interest in the animatronics and merchandise, so much that I decided to host my birthday party there with my furry friends. During that time I joined the Showbiz Pizza fan forum in search of others fans who held my same interests. While browsing I happened upon a user called ‘RapidTRabbit,’ a name I recognized from my time in the furry fandom. He produced a puppet show that had been around for a long time. Although I hadn’t watched too many episodes, I found the show to be extremely charming and endearing, and thought it would be cool to meet the person who created it, especially if he was a Chuck E. Cheese fan too. I had never spoken to him prior, and I didn’t know any other furry who knew him. Still, I sent him a message through the Showbiz forum, introducing myself as a furry fan, telling him I had a CEC birthday coming up and I invited him to join me. As I’m sure you’d expect, he accepted my invitation and came down. Via train, of course. And we had a great time that day. Most people would generally have considered a 19-year-old girl inviting a 52-year-old man she doesn’t know from the internet to her birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s to not be a very bright idea. But for me, it ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Absolutely.

In the months and years following that first meeting, I offered any creative services I could to Richard, hoping to aid in the production of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends and keep it going forward. At the time, and to this day, I found it incredible that he produced his show on his own, since 1983, and had kept it going consistently for all these years. Watching the show, I can recall enjoying it’s genuine simplicity and friendly humor. It made me happy. And I could tell that Richard was someone with a lot of creative passion and ambition, just like me. His show was the kind of project I wanted to be a part of. With Richard’s help, I learned navigate buses and trains and traveled up to New York City regularly to work with him. In early 2011, I rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit, crafting a new body and adding new fur to the original fiberglass head, and maintained the suit throughout the years. I never charged Richard anything for it. I did it because I thought a man as dedicated as he was deserved to have a nice looking costume. Richard and I made many RTR appearances together, like the OCNJ Doo Dah Parade, the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island, or Puppet Day at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York Harbor. And when there were no appearances to attend or episodes to record, we spent a lot of time together as friends, going to restaurants, walking through parks, seeing shows and riding carousels.

Richard introduced me to so many places and things about New York City that I’ve grown to love. More than I could ever list. Red Bowl Noodle Shop in Flushing was our favorite place to have dinner together. On longer trips, he welcomed me into his home, small and crowded as it was, and gave me a place to lay down, watch some cartoons and talk about things we both enjoyed. We had a lot of adventures outside of the city, too. I can the remember the thrill and excitement of riding the classic Derby Racer together at Rye Playland in Westchester County. We once traveled to Salem, MA for the 10th and final iteration of Cheesevention, the Chuck E. Cheese/Showbiz pizza fan convention. Some years he’d come down from New York and spend Christmas time with me, and we’d swap gifts, go out for dinner and see each of The Hobbit trilogy films in theaters each year as they came out. I can remember riding the Muppet carousel getting our photo taken with Big Bird at Sesame Place, and I can remember him taking me to the real set of Sesame Street in Kaufman Astoria Studios to introduce me to the “real” Big Bird, his friend Caroll Spinney. One year, we both stood on the boardwalk during Ocean City, NJ’s First Night celebration, watching fireworks go off in the midnight sky as we rang in a new year, promising each other to make it even better than the last. He even took me with him on one of his birthday trips to Disney World because I told him that growing up I’d never had a chance to go. He was a fantastic friend. I truly, genuinely enjoyed his company, and I feel like he really enjoyed mine too.

I’ve thought about Richard a lot since he died. At least once per day. I think about the kind of person he was, the moments we shared together, the things we did and said. The last time I saw him was in June, when he and a friend came down to my house to pick up some of his Care Bear costumes. It was the same as every other visit. He brought me a gift, a Disney Store plush of Bing Bong from Inside Out, because he remembered just how much I love that movie. We talked about the same things we always did. He taught me something I didn’t know about old technology, specifically the Sony Trinitron television set. We talked a bit about the next steps of producing the new Rapid T. Rabbit show we’d been developing for a few years. He took a ride on Butterbean, my toy spring horse. I told him I’d try to visit NYC soon to buy fabric, that we’d go eat at Red Bowl Noodle Shop again. We gave each other our usual big hug, I said I’d see him again soon, and he went home. The day before he died, he texted me photos of a Fix-It Felix arcade cabinet that he found at a barcade while on vacation in Oregon. He remembered how much fun I had playing that game when we found it at Disney Quest, and wanted to remind me of it.

That’s the sort of thing Richard did. He remembered things that people liked, and then he’d share things or do things to make them smile; he would bring them the same kind of happiness that he had. And I miss that happiness. I’m sad that it’s gone from this world. Richard was, without question, the most kind, happy, caring, and selfless person I have ever met in my life so far. He was special to me. Richard is the first person close to me to die, and I cry when I think that I will never, ever get to see him again. I don’t cry as much as I did in August and September, but I do still cry sometimes, and there’s a certain emptiness in my heart that hurts every now and then.  But I’m learning to be okay and move on. Bit by bit, every day. I know that coping with a loss is different for everyone, but for me specifically, a big part of moving on means accepting the responsibility of fulfilling Richard’s final wish for Rapid T. Rabbit. I don’t know if he ever wrote it down, or if he ever told it to anyone else. But now, after some time, I’m ready to tell it to all of you.

Sometime in early 2012 I took a trip to NYC to see Richard. I don’t recall every detail of this specific visit, as there were so many, but I remember when this one took place because it wasn’t long after his father passed away that January. We were in his apartment, having a conversation about end of life affairs. One of his brothers had recently sent him a Word document template for a will and instructed him to fill in. I agreed with that idea, because you never know when you’re going to go, and having a will written makes things legally easier for those left behind to take care of your things. Richard told me that he’d already thought about this sort of thing, like who would want to have Care Bear mascot costumes, and who he’d give his rocking horses to. It was a weird conversation to have, but worth having, because we’re all going to go one day. He told me the names of a few friends he’d wanted to write in, and then he said that he asked if I was willing to be one of them. He wanted to give me Rapid T. Rabbit. And I can remember feeling.. sort of humbled in that moment. I listened.

He said that he wanted to leave me the original episode library recorded on hundreds of U-matic tapes, his editing system, the puppets, the costume, production logs, and all other show assets, so that I might preserve the show he had made and continue it in some form after he died. He said I’d need to find someone to perform the mascot costume, and I’d likely need a person who was able to imitate his voice. And I can remember him smiling and chuckling as he talked. Richard told me that Rapid T. Rabbit was his life’s work, his Kermit the Frog. He said, and I quote, “I want the character to outlive me.” I looked to him and said that I would. I promised. And he smiled and thanked me. To this day, I don’t know exactly what made him decide to choose me to be his successor. I never thought to ask. But still, I understood that for the first time in my life, I had granted a dying wish; I knew that one day I would be responsible to producing Rapid. T Rabbit, and that it would be a life commitment. But I thought that would be maybe fiteen years from now. I did not expect it to be only five. I don’t think any of us did. But things happen, and Richard’s gone now. He is at peace. And now I have to keep my promise.

Richard never finished writing his will, as far as I know. Maybe it’s a partially-filled Word document sitting on a hard drive somewhere. He had a tendency to procrastinate with things like that, and I never pressed him to finish it because I didn’t think to. I didn’t think he was dying. So as such, I wasn’t given any of his Rapid T. Rabbit-related assets and possessions. But that’s okay. I don’t need them to keep RTR alive, or to finish the new show we had started producing together. In addition, a great deal of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends episodes and other resources are already online, so I can further archive them myself from there. And as you can see, I also have one of the original Rapid T. Rabbit puppets. In September, around Richard’s birthday, I remembered that I had the puppet, disassembled, in my fursuit workshop. Richard left it with me many years ago for refurbishing, and I’d used it as a basis to build the updated puppet in 2013. He’s since been put back together and will be taken very good care of. I’m unsure of who is in possession of Richard’s other RTR assets as of this writing, but whoever they are, I’m sure they’ll take care of them as well.

On February 21, 2018, Rapid T. Rabbit will celebrate his 35th anniversary, and will celebrate and many, many more in the years to follow. I currently lack the resources to create the new puppet show Richard and I had developed, so I plan to tell its story through a webcomic. I have absolutely no intention of monetizing the character in any way, shape or form at this time. A Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit will also be built to star in future videos and appear at select events. I spent time thinking about whether it would be right to do this. A fursuit is a very personal thing, and the idea of replicating a deceased furry’s costume is usually met with contempt for a good reason. In my thinking, I recalled Richard’s passion for mascots. He was a professional mascot for most of his life, after all. Richard had such a love for costumed characters, both performing them and getting to meet them. I know in my heart that he would want Rapid to continue to exist as a mascot character in the real world, so people would still be able to meet him and get their photo taken with him. I realize that it for many of you, it will be weird to see Rapid T. Rabbit without Richard, and I understand that it may be a little uncomfortable to think about. It is for me, too. But it’s what I have to do. This is how I keep my promise to a friend. It’s how I thank Richard for seven and a half years of wonderful friendship and kindness, for memories that I will treasure for the rest of my days. It’s how I grieve, how I honor a person I loved, and how I say goodbye. I hope you can understand, and forgive me if need be.

I believe I’ve said everything I need to say, for now. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this letter. Thank you to Richard’s friends and fans. To everyone who was involved with Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends, whether it was for many years or for a single episode. Thank you to all the fursuiters who marched in Doo Dah year after year. To the people at Hi-4! Entertainment who invited Rapid T. Rabbit to join them at their charity events. Thank you to his brothers and sisters for supporting their brother’s pursuits, peculiar as they may have been. Thank you to the staff of Midwest FurFest for making him an inaugural Guest of Honor in 2000, and for inviting him back in 2009. Thank you to everyone who helped make Rapid T. Rabbit who he is. And last, but far from least, thank you, Richard, for entrusting me with Rapid, for being my friend, and for sharing so much of your life and dreams with me. I will be forever thankful to have known you, and I only wish I had one last chance to tell you exactly how much you meant to me.

Should anyone need to contact me regarding anything I’ve written above, or have another related question or comment for me, please send an email to nyc-rabbit@mail.com. This mailbox was set up specifically for the purpose of receiving RTR-related messages without having to publicly share my email address. By choice, I do not maintain a public online profile, even before Richard passed away. My daily life is very busy, so I will only be able to check this mailbox and write replies a few times a week, but I will do my best to answer your questions. Thank you for being patient with me while I work things out. I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Take care, see you next year, and keep hoppin’ happy.

Sincerely,

Jess Hillard and “Rapid T. Rabbit”

December 20, 2017

[booksncoffee]

post-hygtb drabble (2/?)

for the anon that requested: “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.” for harry and tee.

Harry’s out of town for a conference that his shitty boss made him go to and Tenley felt like she’s going mad. She didn't realise how much Harry did around the house until he wasn't around. 

She woke up one morning – or was it afternoon? She couldn't remember – and realised that there’s no coffee brewing in the pot. Usually all she had to do was pour the warm coffee into her cup but that morning she had to prepare everything herself. And she had to fill Stella’s food and water.

On the third day, Niall was done hearing her talk about how much she missed Harry and how much she wanted to kill his boss for making them spend a week apart. Besides, he had promised to Harry that he would keep an eye out on Tenley. So he’d like to think that he’s being a bloody good friend when he forced Tenley to go out for a drink with him.

“I can’t leave Stella alone,” Tenley tried to reason with Niall even though she’s already changed her outfit into one that was more presentable than her earlier outfit. She really would rather spend her night in her living room whilst waiting for Harry to video call her. That sounded pathetic even in her head, but she’s accepted the fact that her life sans Harry was pathetic.

He rolled his eyes. “She’s asleep, Tee. And I’m pretty sure she won’t notice your absence.”

“Where’re you taking me anyway?” She asked, brows furrowing as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Did Harry put you up to this?”

Niall scoffed, but didn't say anything else. That led Tenley to believe that it was Harry’s plan so she picked up her mobile phone and typed a message to him.

Can’t believe u asked niall to force me out of the house!

“C’mon, let’s get going!” Niall exclaimed as he made his way to Tenley, wrapped his fingers around her forearm and pulled her out of her room.

“You’re so annoying, do you know that?” Tenley scowled at him and he simply shrugged, used to the insult by now. Tenley checked her phone once more and noticed that Harry had replied to her text.

So… are you out of the house?

A pout adorned Tenley’s lips as she typed her reply: Unfortunately. Niall’s dragging me out.

Good. You should have some fun tonight.

Niall tried to take a peek on the screen on Tenley’s phone but she shoved him away, muttering something about needing privacy whilst she composed a text message: won’t be fun without you :(

Before Tenley could read his reply, Niall snatched her phone from her hand and kept it in the pocket of his jacket. Tenley glared at him and demanded that he returned the device but he pretended as though he didn't hear her.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, she decided to just go along with him. “Just one drink, right?” She asked as they stood outside the pub.

Niall nodded. “Mhmm.”

He didn't sound convincing but Tenley chose not to address it. The two of them walked into the pub and Niall told her to take a seat as he got them their drinks.

Tenley wanted to check on her phone, but she realised a second later that it’s not with her. She let out a heavy sigh and resorted to looking at the small stage where a band was performing. She pretended to be interested whilst her brain drifted to the thoughts of Harry.

The last time they were away from one another was during the Winter break. But that lasted for only three days before Harry decided that he wanted to spend Christmas with Tenley. 

So after having breakfast with his parents on Christmas morning, he told them he wanted to drive up to Cornwall and they didn't stop him from doing so. Even if they did, he would’ve left the house because he missed Tenley so much and he knew she missed him too even though she didn't want to admit it. The fact that she kept texting him sort of gave him an idea that she felt the same way. So, he took the drive and surprised her with a box of Christmas gift.

Tenley had never been more grateful that he showed up that afternoon.

After that, the two of them hardly spent time apart. But now, he had a conference to attend, one that he couldn't get out of, and Tenley’s left wishing that he was with her.

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled Tenley out of her thoughts, making her jump a little. That person chuckled and she felt all warm inside. “Is this seat taken?”

She knew straightaway that it was him. Jumping out of her seat, she wrapped her arms around his neck and burrowed her face in the crook of his neck. “You’re here,” she whispered against his skin.

He let out a chuckle as he rubbed her back. “Missed me?”

She pulled away to look into his eyes. “God, you have no idea.”

Harry opened his mouth, probably to say something witty, but Tenley decided to shut him up with a kiss. She was well aware of the fact that they’re in public but she didn't care. She missed her man and even though someone’s definitely whistling at them right now, she continued kissing him until she’s out of breath.

“How?” She asked breathlessly.  

“I have a day off tomorrow,” he answered, as breathless as she was. He took a deep breath and explained, “The conference continued on Monday so I decided to come home. I drove back as soon as today’s conference ended.”

“I can’t believe you did that.”  

“Well, what can I say? I miss Stella.” She slapped his chest. He caught her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing each and every one of her fingers. “I missed you. So much.”

“I missed you too.” She told him before capturing his lips for a kiss. “I hate being away from you,” she admitted.

For some reasons beyond her knowledge, Harry started laughing. She kinked an eyebrow at him. “It’s just… We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about, bunny.”  

Tenley’s cheeks warmed up. She wanted to protest and tell him that they didn't just turn into that couple, but she realised that there’s no use denying it.

“Maybe I’ve changed my mind,” she replied.

“I’m glad.”

“Are you two done?” Niall asked as he approached the two of them. “I’ve been sitting at the bar waiting for you to get your hands off of each other.”

Tenley gave him the bird whilst Harry simply laughed.

“Good to see you, mate.” Harry pulled Niall into a hug, patting his back twice. “And thank you for taking care of Tee while I was away.”

“He didn't take care of me.” Tenley countered. Niall opened his mouth to defend himself, but she stopped him. “Need I remind you that I had to make you chicken soup because you weren’t ‘feeling well’, Niall?”

“I had a fever!”

Tenley shook her head. “No you didn't.”

“Yes I did. My body was hotter than usual.”

“That’s cos your hands were cold!”

“God, I’ve missed this,” Harry interrupted, laughing when his girlfriend and best friend glared at him.  

[deztinywarriors]

ES Spectre 2.0 Chapter 33

[odogaronfang]

Hey, can I hear about your Breath of the Wild au? It sounds cool

thank u so much for asking and i’m sorry i made u wait for this!!

i’m actually kinda in the process of redesigning them so i might post some sketches later but basically

[yeesh this got long ill put a readmore] 

-vio is half-sheikah and a traveling merchant, wanders hyrule foraging and hunting and selling things, makes a lot of money because he’ll bring his wares places they wouldn’t usually be found (for example, bringing lurelin great sea fish to the gerudo desert). he has extensive knowledge of hyrule’s topography and flora and fauna, and enough history under his belt to know where to avoid, or just be very prepared for. he doesn’t stay in one place much, the sheikah in kakariko will lend him a room when he stops by, but he did buy out that empty house in hateno and uses that as HQ, mostly in the winter when it’s dangerous and foolhardy to be on the roads.

-blue started as a hylian spearfisher in lurelin village. she grew up there, the people that cared for her are still there. but life as a fisherwoman is very slow and not at all the kind of life she wanted to lead, so when she was 16 she snuck off in the middle of the night and hauled ass to the lakeside stable near lake floria, used the money she’d made from fishing to rent a horse until she could find and tame her own, and abandoned lurelin. she left a note, told everyone what she was up to, but didn’t go back for a long time. now she goes back a lot, it’s how she makes her living after all, spreads lurelin’s good name and gets them (and herself) lots of business. 

-shadow is a merchant as well, sort of, sells really only meat and the odd gems and precious materials he can scrounge. it’s more a side-job, a way to get pocket money, because mostly he bums off the others- takes some fish and crabs from blue’s hauls to sell, stays at vio’s house during the winters, you get the picture. no one’s sure of his origin; everyone just assumes hylian. his dirty little secret is that he’s an ex-yiga, successfully emancipated. not something he wants to share with anyone, obviously. because of that, though, he’s inherently and irreparably tied to ganon- and, by extension, the blood moon. it isn’t something he shares until years after he’s met the squad™ and gotten comfortable with them, and that’s a main driving point in the au for me: finding out how (and if it’s possible) to free shadow from ganon’s influence.

-green is half-gerudo and raised fully hylian, in a more or less single-parent household, as his mother has many duties to attend to in the gerudo royal guard. he’s very close with his father and they probably send postcards back and forth even if they only travel to the market. he works as a mercenary of sorts: a for-hire monster slayer. he’s a huge history buff, has always loved reading about ganon and his previous incarnations, and was enamored with the idea of being in the princess’s guard detail since he was very little. that, of course, is not possible, so monster-hunting is the next best thing (he’s deathly afraid of keese, though.) he really likes shield surfing even though he’s not great and usually ends up with scraped knees and a dented shield afterwards. and if he isn’t fulfilling a contract or rolling down hills or hanging with his dad he’s probably gardening. he likes gardening. (he sucks at gardening. everything dies. even cacti.)

-red is zelda’s (not the princess) little brother. he’s not really sure what he wants to do quite yet, but he, unlike green, is good at gardening and sometimes helps out hateno’s farmers for some money, and sometimes just because he’s a nice person. also, he found out while trying to make zelda a birthday gift that he’s very good at the more delicate parts of metalworking, stuff like wire-wrapping and the intricate designs like the zora do. he’s thinking about following through with that, but it’s not a definite. he likes exploring a lot, too, but he was never given any formal training in fighting, so he’s leery of it until he gets some proper instruction from the others.

-zelda is not THE zelda, in this au. she was named after The Princess Zelda™ as an honor and a tribute to the latent princess, as many have come to call her. she bears the name with pride (as she should). she’s a seamstress, mostly, with a good eye for detail, and aspiring to learn the spear, because, yknow, weapons are fun, and she needs to protect her little bro. she’s not always with the squad, she has things to attend to in hateno and needs to develop her trade, but when she does she absolutely kicks green off his throne and starts calling the shots, with vio as her tactical advisor and blue as her bodyguard. also she doesn’t let anything near red, ever. she kicks ass, end of story.

some fun, random facts:

-vio’s horse’s name is mocha. he got her when she was just a filly, and raised her himself. and as a silly, literal-minded child, her coat reminded him of coffee. (she’s a sooty bay quarter horse with a mane like a palomino’s, and an irregular blaze and snip on her face.)

-do not, ever, challenge blue to a spar. she’ll knock you on your ass with her spear in .5 seconds. she also teaches zelda how to work a spear. technically the form isn’t correct, as she was brought up taught how to spearfish, but it works well enough.

-red is insanely resistant to changes in temperature. he and zelda lived in hebra for a little over a decade, before their mother died and they moved to hateno. zelda bundles up in 4+ layers if the temperature dips below 70, but red? 40 degrees, he’s out in shorts and a tank top. he lives. whenever they kill a wizzrobe he’s given its rod. no one else can be trusted. he also makes killer hot chocolate.

-green is very good with history but can’t be trusted with maps. he just… doesn’t know how to read them, somehow. if you ask him where any historical landmark is he can give you its coordinates, latitude and longitude and regional climate, but hylia help him if he has to use a map.

-zelda, practiced as she is with her fingers from all her years of seamstressing, is an excellent pickpocket. she doesn’t admit it, and doesn’t want people to know for fear of tarnishing the good noble name of zelda. but she can take your wallet, your keys, your child and your heart and you’d be none the wiser. how could such a sweet girl with such a dignified name do anything of the sort?

-much as shadow likes to brag about being the “””tough guy”””, hes Not. sees a keese? screams. moblin? nope, let the other guys take this one. he and green do bond over hating keese. but otherwise he’s mercilessly teased, once he’s found out. it’s part of the reason he ditched the yiga- too many dealings with those things. he eventually gets over it, because he has to, but he is NOT happy about it.

-red and zelda kick ass at snow surfing. it was their favorite thing to do when they lived in hebra. they’d put selmie to shame. they can shred a mountain like shawn white all day and go back for more the next morning. don’t dispute their titles. it will end poorly for you.

-blue whittles. it’s a big stress reliever, keeps her hands busy, and it was a necessary skill in lurelin, where new fishing spears had to be made nearly every day. she’s also pretty good at basket weaving, for the same reasons, although the lack of sharp objects in it pushes her more towards whittling.

-vio makes his own bows and arrows. along the same vein as blue’s whittling, it’s something to do and at least that way he’s assured of its quality. sometimes they trade projects, or they’ll randomly etch things into vio’s bow, like a strange and permanent game of telephone. more than once she’s carved a dick into his bow. it would be covered in them if vio didn’t find a way to make them into abstract works of art. he tried to retaliate, once, and carved one into the staff of blue’s spear. she picked it out in gold leaf and wore it like a badge of honor until that particular spear broke (embedded in a lynel’s flank). your move, vio.

-they split the task of making food, usually:

green is good at cooking, insofar that vegetables/herbs are involved. if you add meat it’ll taste like garbage. but he’s very good with vegetables. 

zelda is insanely good with spices and sauces and if you let her she’ll burn your tongue out. they get into competitions, to see who can withstand her stuff the longest. no one can beat her. she is feared and respected. mostly feared.

blue does the seafood, predictably. it’s a delicate and precise art, of which she is the master. usually she’s a huge fan of spices but on seafood she vetoes it (most of the time) because, as she puts it, “it’ll be f-ckin’ delicious without anything on top”. she’s right.

vio does all the fancy stuff. as a kid he’d get bored and just read whatever he could get his hands on- many of them were cookbooks. so if they’re looking for a big meal with a lot of weird obscure and really good (if small-portioned) stuff they’ll get him on it, and he delegates helpers from there depending on the dish.

red does mostly bread and desserts, his specialty being pastries and honey candies, and really anything heavily sugar-based. sometimes he’ll saute things in honey and it’s honestly to die for, even though a lot of it sounds kinda weird, like honey-glazed chicken thigh. just trust him. also his pasties are in VERY high demand on long journeys. 

shadow is bad at most things but he’s actually really good at soups, mostly because all it entails is throwing things in a pot with salt water and butter and waiting. he just has a good sense for what to throw in. other than that please never let him in a kitchen. he’ll burn it down, and then somehow manage to burn the ashes. trust red, don’t trust shadow.

-there’s a running joke that green was some kind of forest spirit in a previous life. wild animals will just walk right up to him as though they’ve known him a lifetime. deer will approach him, rabbits hop right up, foxes trail him, birds have landed on his head. no one knows why. he likes to name them, and gives them scraps of his dinner. it’s a sad affair when shadow, oblivious or just apathetic, makes them into the night’s dinner, but at least it’s made with love. green might (definitely) cry a little bit.

-vio has long hair, and one of the favorite traveling games to play is to see how much shit they can get into it before he notices. leaves, twigs, burrs, feathers, small rocks, literally anything is fair game as long as you can sneak it in without him knowing. and if there’s a special occasion, and everyone’s all dressed to the 9′s, and vio’s got his hair done up, they play a different game where they sneak the pins out of his hair one by one. whoever pulls the pin that undoes it completely loses and has to take responsibility for the whole thing. bets are placed, and vio absolutely gets revenge wherever possible. it doesn’t stop them.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “No Names” Part 1

When The Joker told you he found somebody else, your world shattered to pieces. But what hurt the most was the fact that he didn’t even bother to come around and see his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is missing, especially when the triplets adore him. And extremely hard to cope with the gloomy future after you found out some details that might explain his estrangement.

Part 2 : http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/164854110621/the-joker-x-reader-no-names-part-2

Part 3: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/165414584036/the-joker-x-reader-no-names-part-3

At the present moment, the four year old triplets (Emma, Mia and Evie) are fighting about who should sit in daddy’s lap. There’s some fake crying, some pushing around followed by a tantrum and J finally gives in and lifts them up one at a time so they can all sit on his knees. Very crowded and hardly any space for everybody, but somehow it works.

“Are you good now?” he asks, trying to reach over so he can type on his laptop. They all giggle and then the bickering starts again. “Daddy’s mine,” Emma pulls The Joker’s face towards her and kisses his pale cheek.

“No-oo-o,” Mia whimpers upset about it.“Daddy’s mine!” and she yanks his head and gives him a kiss.

Evie almost has a fit:

“He’s mine! I’m going to marry him!”

The Joker snorts as the girls argue in his lap. You never intervene when stuff like this is going on because you believe he needs it: doesn’t hurt to be reminded you’re human from time to time. And that includes the King of Gotham.

“I really have to send an e-mail, OK? Behave, brats !”

“No, I want to marry daddy!”

“No, me!!” and the fight continues regardless J’s request. He sighs and interrupts:

“Be quiet, girls! Stop moving around !”

Yeah…no.

“Hey, what did I just say? There’s plenty to go around for everybody, even if mommy gets the best part,” and you get winked at.

You stop your current task, which is opening a bunch of boxes with new clothes for your daughters and give him the look.

He starts laughing.

“Yeah, your mom knows what I’m talking about; she’s so lucky!”

“Right…” you mutter to yourself.

“I want to play with daddy’s hair,” Mia whines, attempting to touch the green locks. The others follow:

“Me too!”

“Me too, daddy!”

“I don’t have time little Dolls,” he huffs and gets ready to remove them from his lap.

Crying begins – the spoiled kids type; he spoils them rotten and you do too. Guilty as charged.

“Fine, fine, you win!” The Joker gives them the satisfaction and the girls are now on the floor around their father, caressing his hair and fighting about which one of them should get more to play with.  He just sits there in between them, huge grin on his face. 

Mia pecks his temple.

“Ahh, thank you Evie,” J sighs, very pleased with his current situation.

“I’m Mia, daddy,” she corrects him.

“No you’re not,” he teases more.

“I’m Evie, daddy,” the other little girl snickers.

“Nahh, you’re Emma, don’t lie to me.”

“No, I’m Emma, daddy,” the third one points.

“Nope, no way!” and the little ones start talking in the same time, trying to explain to their father which one is which.

“Are you sure?” he frowns, pretending to debate.

“U-hum,” they nod, lined up in front of him.

“Well, if you say so, I guess you know better…”

They jump around, excited The Joker finally got it and he wants to get up.

“Y/N, come help me up,” he signals you and you go over.

“What is it, old man? Can’t do it on your own?” you smile, aiding him.

“Hilarious, Kitten, you should do stand-up comedy,” he mumbles, suddenly sour.

“I should, I’m pretty funny. Something wrong?” you check, noticing the painful grimace on his face.

“It’s nothing; my back hurts again. These kids are wearing me out!” he blames it on the 3 small Princesses at his feet.

“It’s their job, baby,” and he gets a kiss from the Queen herself.

“Behave, woman!” he growls in your ear. “I have to go and you’re distracting me.”

“Hey, wanna make an appointment for a back massage tonight?” you offer, eager for some time alone with him.

“I can’t…I have so many things to plan and transactions on the black market to attend to.” There is definitely something going on behind those blue eyes you can’t quite pinpoint.

“Again?!…I want you to sleep here, you’re away too much. Stuff can wait, ok? Plus, I can help.”

“It’s fine, my Queen needs to rest,” J makes up this lame excuse again and heads towards the elevator with the girls following him.

“Daddy, up!” they whine since he’s not paying attention to them anymore.

“I can’t lift you up, Dolls. I’m busy, go play!” he sends them back to you and they pout but obey.

*****************

It’s very late and The Joker didn’t come home. You still keep on waiting, hoping he is going to show up. You smile in the darkness when you remember the first time you showed him the ultrasound picture with the triplets. J stood there still, holding it in his hands, staring with his mouth open.

“Oh my God!”

That’s all he said.

“Ummm, oh my God as in oh my God yes or as in oh, no ?” you asked, intrigued.

He didn’t even hear you.

“I’m so awesome!!!” he blurred out, snorting. “I’m more than incredible ! Three in one strike! Ha!”

“I think I have my share at this since I participated in the project,” you protested, annoyed.

“Shut up, Y/N, this is obviously me,” and he seemed so mesmerized and thrilled you actually let him win. “I have some serious skills,” J smirked, arrogant to a fault and you rolled your eyes so badly they almost fell off the back of your head.

And the things he would say when you got so big since you had three little beings growing inside of you.

“Damn, Pumpkin, you can audition for Godzilla’s part in the next movie!”

“You – you are the rudest person ever!” you got so mad but he didn’t stop.

“Well, maybe not Godzilla, I don’t want to exaggerate. I think you could get the part of a whale!”

You glared at him, pissed because you were fed up with his mocking. The Joker enjoyed teasing you more than anything. Such an easy prey due to your…condition. Just one look down at your bump and:

“I – I’m huge!” you started crying up a storm, hormonal and emotional since you were super pregnant, tired and cranky.

“Awwww, com’ere,” The Joker would try to fix it and made this strenuous sounds when you sat in his lap. “Jesus, woman, don’t break my legs!”

“You’re horrible, I hate you!” and you would wipe your eyes and your nose with your sleeve, not giving a crap. Too uncomfortable to care.

“Ewwww, Kitten, are you gonna change your shirt?!” J couldn’t help it; he had to taunt more.

“No, I don’t want to,” you would sniffle, not looking at him.

“That’s fine; you sure are a sight for sore eyes,” and he kissed you to make it better. “So sexy…for a whale,” he has to keep going, considering it his sacred duty to ridicule his Queen.

“I really hate you,” you complained, exasperated.

“Thank you, Doll,” and that silver grin got wider.

Once, he found you having a nervous breakdown at the hideout near The Bridge of Angels.

“What’s wrong, hm?” J cautiously approached, wondering what the new crisis is about.

“I was trying to load guns… “ and you took such a deep breath, not being able to stop bawling, “…and I dropped a box of bullets,” you show him the ammo on the floor, scattered all over the place. “I can’t even bend to pick them up,” and tears kept on rolling down your cheeks.

“That’s soooo sad, Pumpkin,” and he took your hands in his, kissing each finger. “These sausage fingers, so chubby and puffy, of course they can’t do anything.”

“You suck,” and kicked his ankle, but calmed down a bit.

“Thank you, Doll,” that satisfied smile lingered on his lips as he was finishing what he started.

When the girls were almost two years old, The Joker ended up at Arkham and took a while to bring him back. He was so out of it from meds and electroshock therapy that barely had the strength to crawl on the couch in the living room and passed out. Didn’t even go to see his daughters.

Evie was the one that heard the noises and woke up, came to see what’s going on and that pure joy on her face when she saw J made your heart skip a beat. You told the little one to be quiet and placed her on his chest; she fell back asleep right away.  You brought the other two sleepy heads and placed them on the sides of his body. He sensed the movements through his restless dreams and squeezed his arms around them, suddenly more at ease.

He knew he was home.

**************

You didn’t see him in a month. The Joker said he’s out of town with business and that was all. He responded to your texts and phone calls, but in a very short manner. Something is definitely not right. You just know it.

For the moment you are in the basement, watching him stash a few guns in a suitcase. You’re so upset you can’t think straight. The kids are not at the penthouse and J doesn’t want to wait for them to come back from the playground so he can see them.

“Where are you going, baby?” he gets questioned and that pisses him off.

“I have urgent matters to attend to, ok?! You know our lifestyle, I don’t have to explain it to you !!”

“Does this…urgent matter…have a name?” you whisper and he stops, giving you an evil gaze.

“You wanna do this NOW?”

“What… what exactly are we doing?” you panic, not sure what is going on.

“Of course she has a name, are you completely stupid ?! Didn’t you notice how much I have to pretend around you and YOUR noisy girls? I thought you were smarter than this!!!” the tirade begins and you are not prepared for it. “I am so tired of you, you bore me to death, can’t you see ?! Why do you think I keep on avoiding you, huh? I need someone younger, prettier and energetic to keep up with me!!!” he dramatically gestures, burning you with his blue eyes. “You’re none of these; not anymore !!!” J takes the suitcase and storms out, bumping into you as he passes by.

You gulp, stunned at all the hurtful words: “What?…”

“Don’t be pathetic and take the hint, Y/N!” the barks at you before disappearing up the staircase.

“I’m gonna kill you!” you yell after him, shaking from the tension. “And her too!!”

“Don’t make me come down there again or YOUR kids will be orphans!!” The Joker shouts and you hear the basement’s door being slammed so loud it makes you jump.

*************

You detest calling him. You do it for your children; they won’t stop asking about The Joker. What hurts the most is the fact that he doesn’t even bother to visit his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is not present, especially when the triplets adore him.

They miss him badly and you telling them he’s on vacation all the time doesn’t help. It breaks your heart when they start crying:

“I miss my daddy,” Emma squeezes your arm and you wipe the tears, so upset it’s hard not to cry yourself.

“Me too,” Evie slides her head in your lap, whimpering.

“I want my daddy,” Mia weeps and you hold them close to you in the big, empty bed.

“He’s coming, honey,” and you kiss their foreheads. “He is on a vacation and he’s coming back soon, alright?”

“When, mommy?” the little voices insist.

“Soon, very soon,” you sigh, fighting to maintain a fake smile on your lips.

After they fall asleep, you carefully get out of bed and go on the balcony, calling again.

“What do you want?” J snaps as soon as he picks up.

“Are you going to come see your daughters? It’s been three months! I don’t know what to do anymore; they really miss you. Would you please come? Just for a little bit?” you beg, irritated you have to bargain for something you shouldn’t have to.

“I’m busy! I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.”

“Are you ready Mister J?” you hear the woman’s voice in the background and you drop the phone, startled. The screen cracks but you can still hear him:

“Yeah, coming! Hold on, she’s bothering me again!”

You bite on your cheek and grab the cell, tossing it over the edge of the terrace. You didn’t want to hear that.

***************

The home phone going off at 2am wakes you up abruptly. You answer as fast as you can, not wanting to wake up the little ones.

“Yes, Frost?” you mumble, tired, wondering what he wants.

“Hi, Y/N. I need to talk to you about Mister J,” Jonny begins and you won’t have any of it.

“Is he coming to see his kids?”

“I don’t know, but…”

“Then I don’t care!!” you raise your voice without realizing.

“Mommy…” Emma complains, turning towards you and you just hang up.

The phone rings again. “Stop calling, Frost!”

“I need to talk ab…”

You hang up and place the phone under all the extra pillows at the side of the bed. You feel it vibrating and ignore it.

After about an hour you hear the elevator going up at the penthouse.

Serioulsy?!

When the elevator’s doors open, Jonny Frost finds a very displeased Y/N in front of him, arms crossed on your chest.

“Can I help you?!” you sulk, vexed he has the nerve to actually come uninvited in the middle of the night.  

“I know you don’t want me here, but I really need to talk to you,” and he steps inside the living room, decided not to drop it.

“Is it about J?”

“Yes, I told you…” “I don’t care! The only news that would make me happy is him coming to see our daughters. That’s it. Is he coming?”

“I’m not sure wh…” “Then get the fuck out of my house!” you push Jonny, bitter and resentful. “Go serve his every need and that bitch he’s with. GO!!!”

Frost is a strong man; makes it hard for you to move him if he doesn’t want to be moved.

“There is no woman,” he utters, keeping his composure.

“Did he put you up to this?! Get out!”

At this point you are so mad you can’t listen to anything anymore.

“I’m not leaving. I need to talk to you. Y/N…” Frost gets in your face, still calm. “There is no woman. You know me; would I lie to you?”

***************

8:45am

You sneak inside the hideout, not having a clue on how you are going to handle the situation. I guess you’ll have to improvise as you go.

The Joker is coming out of the kitchen in a pair of shorts and halts when he sees you. Not a pleasant surprise, that’s for sure. He breaks the silence:

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t reply; you just analyze him and conclude it doesn’t seem good at all.

“Did…did that asshole ran his mouth?” J tilts his head to the left, grinding his teeth. That’s the only explanation he can think of and it makes him angry.

You ignore his inquiry and have a question of your own, even if you already know the answer:

“What are those?” you refer to the bruise-like spots on his skin; you can see them on his chest, a few on his arms and legs.

“Go away, Y/N. Go home to the girls!” he rushes you, wanting to get rid of your presence as fast as possible.

You nod a no and step towards him.

“It’s contagious, stay away!” The Joker snarls, backing out.

“No it’s not,” and you get closer.

“Are you ready, Mister J?” the woman’s voice coming from kitchen alerts of a third person in the warehouse.

“Is that your girlfriend?” you give him the look as you slip by his body and finally see her: probably in her mid 50’s, holding a syringe. Her eyes get big when she realizes you’re there. “Younger and prettier, hm?” you address The Joker and he’s silent, aware you already know what’s going on.

“Give me that!” you gesture towards the syringe and she hesitates:

“Mister J…”

“I said give me that!!!!” you yell, yanking it from her hand. “This is my job, not yours! Get out! “

She looks at him and J signals it’s ok. The woman complies and walks away, leaving you two alone. You lick your lips and The Joker comes closer, taking a sit on a chair nearby.

“Well, since it’s your job…” he extends his arm and waits. You go in front of him, struggling to be tough.

“Tell me where…,” you sniffle and his finger shows you the spot on the shoulder.

“This is so awkward, Kitten,” he slowly blinks, grabbing your shaky hand. “I can do it.”

“No, I will, “ and the needle finds its way into the skin, slowly releasing the medicine. “I hate you!” you burst into tears as soon as you’re finished.

He knows why; no explanation needed.

“I hate everybody too, so I understand,” he pretends to be sympathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” and you look so devastated J can’t make a stupid joke about it.

“You and the girls have to get used with me not being around,” he admits to the truth.

“How – how bad is it?” you stutter, wishing you could really hate him.

“Pretty bad, it’s spreading fast.”

You cry harder.

“All this stuff you have around, is it helping any?”

“Somewhat, I guess… I’m still breathing for the moment.”

The fool doesn’t even notice how unbearable it is for you to hear such things. You straddle his lap and hug him tight, sobbing.

“You’re not dying; you’re gonna live forever,” you manage to articulate.

“God help Gotham then, hm?” The Joker holds you so firmly it hurts but you don’t feel the ache. “You should go home to OUR girls. This is making me very sick; I don’t want you here. I don’t want you around it. Shit, I don’t want to be around it, but I have no choice.”

“I want to be around it,” you wipe your face with the sleeve of your shirt and he really needs to point out:

“Ewww, Princess, are you gonna change your shirt?”

“No, I don’t want to,” and you kiss him, too desperate to smile at the silly memory.

*****************

The medication has such nasty side effects: gives him something similar to seizures and a lot of nausea. Even if he swallowed pills to help with that, it took a while to kick in. The back pain was so strong you couldn’t move him afterwards. He remained on the bathroom floor, curled up in ball, resting his head in your lap, drained. You used towels to cover him up and he dozed off, exhausted even if it’s only 9:59am.

You text Frost to ask for a favor:

“Please bring the kids.”

** The girls enter the bathroom and gasp when they see their father. “Daadddy!!!!” they all exclaim, running and dropping on their knees by him, happy like you never seen them before.

“Ssstttt,” you bring your finger to your lips. “Please be quiet, daddy’s not well; he needs to sleep, OK?”

“Ok, mommy,” Emma bends over to peck his cheek and the other siblings do the same.

“Is daddy back from vacation?” Evie excitedly stares at her father, not being able to take her eyes off him.

“Yes, honey, he is,” and they are so excited they get up and run out, fastly returning with blankets and pillows. They stash them around you two, cuddling on the pile of fluffy covers, all eager to touch The Joker. They hold his fingers and he wants to open his eyes but can’t. 

His clouded mind has the strength to recall that he hates everyone, except the annoying Godzilla he can’t stand and three little Dolls. No names because it’s a well-guarded secret.

J gently squeezes their fingers in his sleep, growling.  

He knows he’s home.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[haughtbreaker]

Thank you so much for the reviews and comments y’all have been leaving. @jaybear1701 and I appreciate all of them. The posting schedule is going to have to be pushed back starting next chapter. Updates will be made on Mondays now to let y’all process episodes over the weekend. :)

“I was in your arms thinking I belonged there, I figured it made sense, building me a fence, Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there, But I was a fool, playing by the rules The gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice, And someone way down here loses someone dear The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall, It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain.”

    Nicole shook her head as the yellow convertible full of young, boisterous women went screaming down the road, their music turned up so loud that the bass rattled her bones even from a distance. Some things never change, Nicole thought. She couldn’t remember how many times she had stopped a car filled with bored Purgatory teens looking for a little excitement and inevitably finding trouble.

  Nicole had half a mind to call dispatch and have them tell whoever was on highway patrol to keep an eye out for the convertible. She doubted the number had changed in the past two decades. But she didn’t. That wasn’t her job anymore. She had left the cop back in Purgatory all those years ago and in its place stood a criminal defense attorney who hoped the young women didn’t end up with a reckless driving charge or worse.

  The sound of squealing tires pulled Nicole’s attention away from the disappearing blur. She turned and saw a red SUV peel out of its spot down the street. She thought she caught a glimpse of familiar brown hair and she nearly went into cardiac arrest. But the car and its driver were soon long gone before Nicole could be sure. She inhaled sharply, taking in the familiar scent of dust and gasoline fumes that always seemed to permeate downtown Purgatory, and marveled at how ridiculous she was being.

  What were the chances of seeing Waverly Earp the second she set foot in town? Slim to none, she knew. She barely resisted the urge to smack herself upside the head for being so foolish. And yet, for some reason, her chest continued to twinge as she watched the car drive away.

  Before she could dwell on it long, the hotel’s bellhop, a young man who barely looked 18, approached. Something about him looked… familiar… but Nicole couldn’t quite place why.

  “Welcome to the Wainright,” he said cheerfully, straightening out the ill-fitting red cap that sat crookedly on his shaggy hair. “Can I take your bags, Ms…?”

  “Nicole,” Nicole answered, feeling an inexplicable need to keep her identity a secret. Though, she wondered if the kid had even been born when she was last in town. She popped the car’s trunk. “I appreciate it.”

  Nodding eagerly, he retrieved her luggage and waited patiently as she checked in. He walked beside her as they moved through the lobby toward the elevator. Nicole had to swallow past a lump in her throat when they came across the grand staircase where Waverly had once taken Nicole’s breath away. In a shimmering seafoam dress, Waverly had looked like a -- what had Nicole written on her blog all those years ago? A mermaid, Nicole remembered. A perfect, radiant mermaid.

  She kept her gaze trained straight ahead even as the memory of Waverly’s smile, and the way it had made Nicole’s heart stutter out of rhythm, played crystal clear in her mind’s eye.

  “Are you here ‘n Purgatory for business or pleasure?” The bellboy interrupted her reverie when they stopped in front of the elevator.

  Torture , Nicole almost said. But she bit her tongue and plastered on a smile instead. “Pleasure.”

  “The wedding?” He asked knowingly as he pushed the call button. Off Nicole’s startled look, he added: “Lucky guess. It’s the only big thing happenin’ ‘round these parts, if you don’t count Christmas o’ course.”

  “Right.”

  “Bride or groom?”

  “Bride.” It wasn’t a lie, per se.

  They stepped inside the elevator. The boy pressed the number 4 and whistled. “Whitney Earp. I swear she is the prettiest, sweetest girl in the whole town.”

  Nicole couldn’t stop herself from smiling at that tidbit. Like mother, like daughter . The bellboy continued rambling when they got off on the fourth floor. “I’ve always had a huge crush on her. Don’t tell her I said that now.” He wagged a finger at her. “She and my big sis used to babysit me.” He eyed Nicole curiously. “How d’ya know the Earps?”

  She wanted to tell the kid it wasn’t any of his damn business. But being defensive would just call more attention to herself. And she wanted to keep as low a profile as possible.

  “Her mother and Aunt, we go a ways back,” she said. They finally reached her hotel room, and Nicole hoped the kid would drop his small-talk interrogation already.

  “Ms. Waverly’s terrific too.” He unlocked the door and led her inside, placing the suitcase on a fold-out luggage rack. “As for the deputy…” He made a face that coaxed a chuckle out of Nicole.

  “She’s something else,” Nicole offered along with a couple of dollars.

  “That’s one way of puttin’ it.” He gratefully accepted the tip with a nod. “Enjoy your stay, Ms. Nicole. If you’ll be needing anythin’ else, do lemme know. Name’s Nedley. Randolph Nedley. But everyone calls me Randy.”

  Nicole did a double take. “I’m sorry, did you say…?” She shook her head. “Are you related to Randall Nedley?”

  Randy beamed. “He was my papaw.”

  Was.

  Guilt surged within Nicole. She had gotten the funeral notice, but hadn’t been able to attend because she had been in the middle of a huge trial. If she was being completely honest, a small part of her had been somewhat relieved. She had wanted to remember Nedley as he had been -- gruff and unpolished and very much alive . She hadn’t wanted to see him lying in a box. Lifeless. A glaring reminder of their mortality. She also hadn’t wanted to see Waverly. There was only so much heartache Nicole could take.

  Did that make her a coward? Yeah. It probably did.

  “I was sorry to hear about his passing,” Nicole said earnestly. She made a mental note to bring flowers to his grave. “He was a good man. An even better friend. And a terrific sheriff.”

  Randy’s smile grew even wider. “You knew him?”

  Nicole nodded. “Used to be one of his officers.”

  Randy smacked his leg and hooted. “Well I’ll be hot damned. Small world.”

  “Who’s the sheriff now, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “My ma, actually, if you can believe that.”

  Nicole nearly choked on her own spit. “Chrissy?”

  “Yes ma’am.” Randy hooked his thumbs on his belt, now looking so very much like a younger version of Nedley that Nicole mentally kicked herself for not seeing it sooner. “Gonna follow in both their footsteps someday. Hopefully.”

  “I have no doubt you will.” Nicole smiled. “It’s in your blood.”

  Randy grinned and dipped his head forward. “Remember, if you need anything…”

  “I’ll be sure to let you know.”

  He nodded one last time, pleased, and left room. When the door clicked shut, Nicole wasted no time. She unzipped her suitcases and meticulously unpacked. She took her time, pulling out her pants and shirts, underwear and socks. She laid them neatly in the hotel’s dresser. She made sure to hang the dress she brought for the wedding in the closet, which smelled like mothballs and must. She placed her toiletries in the bathroom. Grabbed the bucket next to the small coffee pot on the counter and fetched ice from down the hall. She did everything she could to avoid texting Waverly to tell her she was in Purgatory.

  Eventually though, Nicole had done everything that needed to be done and she found herself sitting on the edge of the mattress. A dull ache formed in her chest that crept down her arms and numbed her fingers. It was hard not to recall how she used to dream about becoming Purgatory’s sheriff, keeping the town safe with Waverly at her side. But it just… wasn’t meant to be.

  She pulled out her cell phone, which notified her that she had several missed calls and emails, most work related, and a couple of unread texts from her sister.

  Becky: Where are u????

Becky: It’s almost Christmas Nicole ffs

  Nicole rolled her eyes. She didn’t reply. Instead, she input the number Waverly had emailed to Nicole in reply to her wedding RSVP. Slowly. One-by-one. She wasn’t brave enough to call it. She took a deep breath and typed out a quick message:

  Hi. I’m here.

  Her thumb froze, suspended over the send triangle. She could still turn back. It wasn’t too late. It would be so easy to just pack up her bag and head back to her car. Drive out of town and never look back with no one the wiser. But she couldn’t. She was tired of that. So, so very tired of running and avoiding. It was now or never. Clenching her jaw, she pushed send.

    “I’m serious Jenn!” Whitney’s voice could be heard through the thick wooden door as Waverly pulled up to the homestead. She hadn’t expected it to be completely quiet, not with the construction, but she didn’t expect a verbal battleground.

  The drive back from town had done little to clear her mind and heart of the lingering ache 20 years of memories had dredged up, even when she’d driven right past the homestead and circled back around once or twice.

  “Oh my God!”

  Waverly could recognize the sound of her bridezilla daughter easily and she found herself momentarily tempted to dawdle just a bit, maybe drag her heels in the snow. It wasn’t an unfamiliar thought, as she’d done a few times in the past. When she’d hear Gus and her young daughter arguing, she’d always take a minute to check the tires or rearrange the grocery bags, really any menial task she could find before committing to an appearance.

  But just the idea of being alone, allowing the unpleasant memories to impregnate her mind… or even worse, the pleasant ones. The ones that engulfed her with the scent of spicy vanilla and the feel of silky smooth skin under her fingertips. The memories that were beyond senses, beyond touch, but the memory of what it was like to be loved.

  Not just to be loved, but the love that only came from someone you couldn’t live without. It was looking into those eyes and knowing how desperately Nicole had not only loved her, but needed her.

  So no, Waverly decided as she shook her head, she wasn’t going to hang around outside in the cold with phantoms of a life she no longer lived. Besides, she really needed a drink, and to talk to Wynonna.

    “They’re ruined.” Whitney could feel her stress level hitting the roof as she fingered one of the carefully crafted pieces of a centerpiece. They had been meticulously wrapping bottles with twine to be used as flower holders for the centerpieces, each one compiled of a bottle, 3 candles, and a small sand filled glass bowl with a succulent in it placed on a natural cut wooden slab.

  The already wrapped bottles had been put in a crate which had somehow fallen over. With Jenn being the closest, there was no one else to blame, and with half the bottles shattered, there was definitely a need for blame.

  “I didn’t even touch it!” Jenn was helping to pick up the bits of broken glass and twine.

  Whitney sighed as the front door opened, letting in her mother who gave her a look that could only be labeled as cautious. “This is why people elope!” She sighed in frustration, dropping the broken pieces and stalking off towards the kitchen.

  She was looking through the liquor cabinet when Waverly entered, arms crossed over her chest. “I’m not in the mood for a lecture, Mom.” She liberated a bottle of gin after a bit of digging.

  “Well I’m not here to give you one.” Waverly took the bottle from her daughter’s hand. “I’m just here to point out that these damn center pieces need to be finished and I’m not going to let you be drunk all day. It’s bad enough you’ve got those two in there chugging back $5 bottles of wine.”

  “I thought you weren’t going to lecture me.” Whitney complained under her voice, almost a whine.

  “And I thought you graduated kindergarten years ago.” Waverly narrowed her eyes, daring her daughter to respond.

  “Ugh!” Whitney gave up her search for vermouth with a growl. “This is just bullshit! That's a lot of work now in the trash.”

  “Hey.” Waverly stepped up to her aggravated daughter, sliding her arms around Whitney’s tense frame and hugging her roughly until she relaxed. “We’ve still got a few days. We’ll do what we need to do to get everything situated.”

  Whitney sighed softly, trying to take a calming breath. She knew her mother was right, but her nerves were on high alert. Scheming had been fun until she was faced with having to tell Jesse everything. Why hadn’t she consulted him in the first place? There was no reason for it and she was going to be in for a fight.

  Excitement had turned to guilt which then blossomed into anxiety. Adding that to the anticipation of waiting for… the phone on the counter buzzed, catching both her own and Waverly’s attention. Thankfully her mother turned to return the gin to the shelf and grab a bottle of vodka because seeing the name Nicole Haught crossing her screen might have been a little alarming to say the least.

  Hi, I’m here, was all the message read. 20 years and all she had to say was Hi I’m here ?

  Pursing her lips, Whitney felt her heart skip a beat. She was in the same town as Nicole, the woman who had supplied the egg, her biological mother. She’d been wanting this moment since finding the journal. Maybe her life would make a little more sense after meeting her. The woman who contributed to her DNA. Her tall stature and unforgivingly red hair.

  Would Nicole think it was an insult to her? That she dyed her hair?

 Whitney shook her head, looking up to see eyes watching her. She couldn’t risk sending a message while her mother was right there. “I’m gonna... go back to Shorty’s… pick up more empty bottles.” Her words were too delayed, dripping with deception and she had been the daughter of the very investigative Waverly Earp for 20 years.

  Waverly’s eyes narrowed. “Is that all you’re going to be doing?”

  Whitney froze, her blood running cold. She could hear the thud of her heart in her ears and she gave a tight smile. “Of course.” She laughed and she could hear her own guilt. “What else would I be doing?” She begged herself to just shut up, stop talking like a moron.

  Waverly crossed her arms over her chest, saying nothing.

  “Seriously, Mom. We need bottles.”

  A single eyebrow rose. “And you’re not going to say… sneak off and see a certain deputy who’s on duty right now?”

  A wave of relief crashed through Whitney and she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading. “Well… I mean I’m going to be in town anyway. It would just be rude to not stop by.”

  “I knew it!” Waverly cheered herself, turning back to grab two glasses from the cupboard. “You can’t fool me.” Pouring a small amount into one glass, she paused, unsure if she should be pouring the second. “Where’s your Aunt?”

  “Sulking in the barn. I think she’s trying to contact Xavier.” Whitney whispered, passing by her mother so she could get her bag and coat.

  Looking at the one shot, Waverly quickly swallowed it with just a slight wince. She noticed even the James family’s whiskey was no longer on the shelf and she sighed, taking the vodka bottle with her as she moved to the front door where Whitney was wrapping up. “Hey… Aren’t you taking the posse?”

  “No. They need to keep making centerpieces.”

  “Are you ok to drive?”

  Whitney nodded. She wasn’t even buzzed anymore, a fact that was almost depressing. “I’m good. Please make sure they don’t destroy everything.”

  “Mmmhmmm.” Waverly looked at the two that were drinking more than gluing. Practically nothing was going to be done while Whitney was gone and she knew it. She stood in the door, watching her daughter pull away before she looked to the barn where she saw someone moving inside. With a sigh, she took a pull from the bottle of Vodka before heading out the door towards the barn.

    Nicole’s nerves jumbled and jittered with each step she took down Main Street, still waiting for Waverly’s reply. Perhaps chugging down a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso at the hotel’s cafe hadn’t been the best of ideas. Now her heart wouldn’t stop racing and she felt like she’d pass out from anxiety.

  She tried to focus on anything but her still silent phone, taking in the town after two decades away. At first blush, it appeared as if nothing had changed. Purgatory still seemed like the same mundane municipality that time forgot. Every so often, however, Nicole noticed something different. Nothing astonishingly groundbreaking. But small, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them changes that signaled some form of movement, even if only incremental. The ancient laundromat had been rebranded the Sixpence All the Cleaner Coin Laundry, with more modern machinery than the beat-up, ‘70s-era washers and dryers that Nicole had used. The buildings on the block that included the bank, the surplus store, and the antique shop all had their facades brightened with new paint.

  Hell, even Nicole’s old apartment building was graced with newish shutters, navy blue popping out against red brick with more vibrancy than the previous faded gray. She paused across the street from it and trailed her eyes up three floors to the second window on the left. The curtains were drawn and she wondered who lived there after she had left and whether they had ever repaired the leaking bathroom faucet that Nicole never fixed.

  It was a shitty little place, Nicole recalled. The floors creaked. The rooms were drafty as hell and the radiator heater never seemed to work. She swore she’d seen sheets of paper thicker than the walls. It was nothing like the high-rise condo she now owned in Chicago, with its sleek, modern appliances and pristine views.

  And yet… the cramped little apartment in Purgatory had been home. Never more so than when Waverly was there.

   Nicole sat on a rickety chair at her equally unsteady kitchen table. Waverly stood in front of her, facing sideways so that Nicole was at eye level with Waverly’s bare hip. It was a sight Nicole would normally welcome with a cheeky come on, if not for her shot nerves. For the past 10 minutes, she had been pressing an ice pack to the muscles just behind the jut of Waverly’s hip. Nicole’s fingers had gone numb from the prolonged cold and she hoped that meant Waverly’s flesh was similarly desensitized.

  “You ready?” Nicole asked, reaching up to caress the small of Waverly’s back with her free hand. She heard Waverly take a deep breath before covering Nicole’s freezing hand with a warm palm and squeezing.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be,” Waverly said, glancing down at Nicole.

  Nodding, Nicole removed the ice pack from Waverly’s skin and set it down. Working as quickly as possible, she ripped open an alcohol swab and cleaned the rubber stopper of the glass vial on the table. It was filled with a yellowish oil. Next, she picked up and uncapped a syringe with a long, 18-gauge needle.

  “Jeez, that thing is huge,” Waverly commented, a slight tremor in her voice.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” Nicole reassured her as she pulled back the plunger to the 1cc mark. “This is just to draw out the progesterone, remember?”

  “Right.” Waverly bit her lip, eyes still worried.

  “It’s gonna be okay.” Nicole gave Waverly what she hoped was a reassuring smile before focusing back on the task at hand. She pierced the rubber stopper of the vial with the needle and injected air into it. Turning the small bottle upside down, she carefully withdrew the correct dosage of progesterone. She triple checked that she had the right amount. Her hands shook as she pulled the needle back out and removed it. She replaced it with a smaller one and flicked the syringe to dislodge any air bubbles. Waverly caressed her shoulder. That fleeting, but reassuring touch was enough to ground Nicole. She pushed up on the plunger until a few drops formed at the needle’s tip.

  Nicole looked up once again at Waverly, who watched her with a soft expression on her face.

  “Okay?” Nicole asked.

  “Okay.”

  Nicole wiped the side of Waverly’s left buttocks with another alcohol pad. Once it was dry, she picked up the syringe, holding it like she was about to throw a dart at Shorty’s. She inserted it in one swift jab. Waverly inhaled sharply and Nicole froze.

  “Wave?”

  “I’m good,” Waverly breathed out. “Keep going.”

  Swallowing hard, Nicole pulled back on the plunger to make sure she didn’t hit a blood vessel. No crimson blooms entered the vial. She sighed in relief and slowly injected the progesterone, pushing past the muscle’s resistance. Once she was done, she carefully extracted the needle. Waverly pressed a piece of gauze to her skin while Nicole disposed of the used needles in a sharps container.

  “C’mon.” Nicole stood and led Waverly to the couch where a heating pad was ready and waiting. Waverly lowered her good side onto the cushions and Nicole sat next to her, placing the heating pad on the injection site and massaging the area as gently as possible.

  “I can’t believe we’re really doing this,” Waverly murmured.

  “Yeah, baby, we are,” Nicole said, heart expanding at the unadorned affection in Waverly’s gaze. “You and me. We’re gonna get through this together.”

  Smiling, Waverly ran her fingers through Nicole’s hair, lightly grasped the back of her head and leaned forward to place a tender kiss on Nicole’s lips. “Ready for your turn?”

  “More than ready.” Nicole nuzzled the tip of Waverly’s nose. “Let’s make a family.”

  The buzz from her cellphone broke Nicole out of her reverie and she nearly jumped straight out of her skin. She dug a hand in her pocket to retrieve her phone, shaking so hard that she nearly dropped it once she freed it from her jeans.

Meet me at Shorty’s. 45 minutes.

Heart in her throat, she read the text again. Then re-read it. That was just enough time to get cleaned up at the Wainright before heading to the saloon. Nicole glanced back up one more time at her old apartment before turning on her heel and walking away.

She freshened up quickly in her hotel room. Washed her face and brushed her hair. She debated changing out of her jeans and sweater, before shaking her head at herself for being ridiculous. Nicole didn’t want to look as if she was trying too hard. After one last glance at the mirror, where the few strands of gray in her hair and the slight wrinkles on her face somehow looked more pronounced than ever before, she headed to Shorty’s.

Her heart pounded harder the closer she got to the bar, until the roar of blood in her ears was all she could hear as she pushed past the wooden double doors and stepped inside. It was just as she remembered it, the smell of alcohol sharp in the air and an old country song twanging from the jukebox. She didn’t recognize any of the patrons or the servers behind the bar. And no one paid her any mind as she moved further in and slid onto a barstool in the same spot she used to sit when she visited Waverly all those years ago. She ordered a classic martini.

Just as the bartender set the glass in front of Nicole, someone completely unexpected sidled up to her. The strength of his cologne alone should have given him away.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat drug in,” came the grating voice of a person she hadn’t missed once in 20 years.

Nicole resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she swiveled toward the intruder. “Champ,” she said, terse.

Champ Hardy look like a bloated version of himself from 20 years ago, with his slicked-back hair and a scraggly goatee. The years clearly had not been kind.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face ‘round these parts, Haught.” He sneered. “And just what the hell do you think you’re doing here, huh?”

Nicole clenched her jaw so hard she thought her teeth might crack. “That’s none of your goddamn business.”

“Oh I beg to differ.” Champ moved into Nicole’s personal space. His breath reeked of stale beer. She resisted the urge to clothesline him again, for old time’s sake. “Because if you so much as upset Waverly…”

“Dad!” A new voice cut in.

They both turned as a young woman approached, long brown hair trailing behind her. There was… something ...about her. Something so unexpected that it made Nicole’s heart clench and she had no idea why. When their eyes met, the woman hesitated, but only briefly. She focused on Champ and clapped him on the shoulder

  “What are you doing here?” The young woman -- no, Champ’s daughter -- asked him. “You’re supposed to be trying on your tux. Make sure the alterations are all fine.”

  “Right,” Champ nodded, moving away from Nicole. “I didn’t forget,” he said in a way that completely belied his claim.

  The daughter’s eyes drifted to Nicole. “Who’s your friend?”

  “No one,” Champ said. “She was just about to leave.”

  “Actually,” Nicole interrupted. “I’m just getting settled in.” She smiled at the young woman and offered her hand. “I’m Nicole. Nicole Haught.”

  “Whitney,” she replied, ignoring her dad and grasping Nicole’s hand with a warm, dimpled smile that felt achingly familiar to Nicole. Her grip was firm, yet gentle. “Whitney Earp.”

  It felt like the floor bottomed out from beneath Nicole. A wave of vertigo made her unsteady even though she sat firmly on the barstool. “Whitney Earp,” Nicole repeated, her voice sounding hollowing in her ears.

  “That’s right,” Champ butted in proudly, placing an arm around Whitney’s shoulders. “Whitney Earp . My daughter.”

  Whitney made a face and wiggled out of Champ’s grip. “You really should get going, Dad. You don’t want to be late…”

  They continued talking, but Nicole stopped listening, her stomach sinking with the realization that what she had once feared was true.

  “I’m serious, Becky. I’m not cut out for that crap,” Nicole sighed in frustration, pulling the rental car into the parking stall. The town’s parking lot was nearly full as it always was on a weekday in the municipal area. The few stalls along the street had been taken and she cursed the nature of small towns.

  “So you’d rather waste your life being a cop in some backwater shithole? You got a damn 178 on the LSAT, for Christ's sake.  If I'd gotten that,  daddy would have given me a corner office. ”

  “You have a corner office…”

  “After damn near 10 years!”

  Nicole just felt...tired. “I already told mom and dad this. I have a life here. I love Purgatory.”

  “No you don’t. You’re just there for her!”

  “You don’t know anything about my life.” Nicole rolled the window down a crack just to get some air before turning the car off. She’d been gone for three months. A quarter of a year and she couldn’t stay away anymore. Even if she had to pound down the door, she was going to talk to Waverly. She didn’t care that the youngest Earp had changed her number not long after she had left.

  They were only supposed to be on a break, why the hell did she cut off communication? She should have come back then. She shouldn't have let the anger build so much. She had thought the distance would give them a chance to think … absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that bullshit.

  “I know that when you got here you were moping around like a baby until we gave you casework to do,” her sister started in again, “and don’t even pretend you didn’t enjoy helping dad with that deposition last week. You were made for this, Nic.”

  Nicole sighed in frustration. “I don’t really want to talk about this with you. I have to go.”

  “Nic, wait.”

  Nicole hung up the phone, looking at herself in the mirror, running her hands through shoulder-length dark brown hair. Hopefully Waverly wouldn’t hate it. She’d allowed her sister to talk her into it, citing a change was necessary, that it would make her feel better. It hadn’t. She felt like she had lost a part of herself, like she was changing who she was. New hair… bullshit paralegal work for her parents’ firm...

  Waverly was going to hate it.

  Taking a deep breath, she nodded. The thought of entering her apartment after sitting stagnant for 3 months made her cringe so she'd gotten a room at the hotel. She’d check in,  shower and head over to Shorty’s. Or maybe the homestead. Maybe that would be better, to be away from the public for whatever could possibly happen. Waverly did have quite a tempter.

  “JUST STOP!”

  At first she’d thought she’d imagined it, but when she realized it was real, Nicole froze, the familiar voice sounding across the parking lot.  She turned to see Waverly’s rigid form walking right past her car, apparently not recognizing her and stopping at the passenger side of a very familiar pick up.

  “I really don’t know why you’ve got your panties in a twist.” Champ strolled up beside her, twirling his keys around his finger.

  “I’m fucking pregnant, Champ.” The strength of the curse word sounded strange as Waverly crossed her arms over her chest.

  The breath was robbed from Nicole’s chest at the words. Pregnant. She looked back and forth between Champ and Waverly, small puzzle pieces clicking together and revealing a very sickening picture.

  “Well duh.” Champ gave her a look that was very Champ. “You knew that already. You took like 20 of those stick test things.”

  “What the hell am I going to do?” Waverly’s voice wavered. Even from where she was sitting, Nicole could see the tear slipping down a flushed cheek. “I can’t… it’s not…” She shook her head, unable to find the words. “What the hell was I thinking?”

  Champ unlocked the door with a roll of his eyes. “So get rid of it. I mean they got doctors for that, don't they?”

  His nonchalance was sickening. Nicole felt nausea bubbling up in her stomach, fueled by anger and jealousy with a hint of grief. It was taking everything in her to stay seated,  her hands balled into fists, nails biting crescent marks into her palms as she fought the urge to punch his lights out.

  Waverly showed no such restraint.  “You asshole!” Waverly pushed Champ roughly, knocking him back a few feet. “How can you… how…” She shook her head, ripping open the door. “Take me home.”  She growled, slamming the door closed.

  Champ looked around to make sure no one was paying any attention before he shook his head. “Chicks,” he complained, jogging around to the other side of the truck and getting in.

  Nicole felt herself shaking, unfurling her hands to see tiny wells of blood. She could barely breathe, barely think, barely even make sense of the train of thoughts and images running through her had. Pregnant. After almost a whole year of trying and failing, injections and implantation,  all it took was… Champ.

  It was like her heart was breaking into a million pieces. She couldn’t bare to talk to Waverly, not now. Waverly got what she wanted and she didn’t need Nicole to get it. With a shaky hand, she picked up her phone, dialing a familiar number.

  “Are you going to hang up on me again?”

  Nicole watched as the truck pulled out into the street, tires screeching as it headed out of town, tears slipped down her cheeks. There was no way she could stay,  but if it meant watching Waverly and Champ raising a kid together…

  “I’m coming home.” she decided, feeling a Waverly sized chasm forming inside her.  Starting the car, she pointed it in the directing leaving Purgatory. She could hire someone to pack up her apartment.  She didn't ever need to come back.

   Whitney grimaced as she watched Champ leave. She really hadn’t wanted to talk to Nicole with him there. Slipping behind the bar, she noticed Nicole was sitting there with unseeing eyes, obviously lost in her own thoughts.

  Not that she could blame her, Whitney decided as she looked Nicole over. She was… beautiful. Older now, obviously, but she looked… like money. Her clothes, make-up, jewelry… they all spoke of a well-off life, away from towns like Purgatory.

  No ring, Whitney noticed with a small smile. Not that she hadn’t known anyway. Thank god for the internet.

  “Did you want another drink?”

  Nicole jumped, shaking her head to refocus her eyes. “I’m sorry?”

  Whitney pointed to the empty martini glass. “Did you want something else?”

  “Yeah.” Nicole looked longingly at the empty glass before nodding. “Whiskey.”

  With a small chuckle, Whitney grabbed a shot glass, setting it in front of Nicole and grabbing a bottle.

  “So… You’re Whitney Earp. Quite a popular girl around here. ” Nicole picked up the glass, licking her lips in a brief pause before drinking.   

  Whiney nodded, refilling the glass as it was slid forward. She had a million questions. Why did she leave? Didn’t she want a daughter? How could she have left her mother pregnant?

  “I hear congratulations are in order. You’re getting married.” Taking another pause, Nicole looked at the shot longingly before shooting it back.

  “I am.” Whitney rose an eyebrow, refilling the glass. She hadn’t planned on getting her new-found mother drunk, but maybe she could get more information that way.

  “Married… are you even old enough to be getting married?”

  Whitney snorted. It was something everyone brought up. She knew she was young, but she loved Jesse. What difference did it make if they got married now instead of dating for years before they were considered old enough to wed. “I’m 20 thank you.”

  Nicole paused with the shot halfway to her lips, her brow furrowing. “20? Are you supposed to be working behind a bar?”

  With a laugh, Whitney shook her head. “Drinking age is 18, Ms.Haught. This isn’t Chicago.”

  The shot pausing once more, Nicole’s brows rose. “How do you know I’m from Chicago?”

  Whitney could have smacked herself in the head. Instead she bit her bottom lip. She was such a horrible liar. What the hell did she think she was doing with all this? “I have a confession,” she started. When she got no response, she laughed nervously. “I know exactly who you are.” She admitted, watching as Nicole’s eye… eyes that looked exactly like her own, doubled in size.

  Well… she’d committed now. Whitney reached into her back pocket, pulling out the photo and setting it on the bar. “You’re Nicole Haught,” she repeated from their earlier introduction, “and I guess you dated my mom.”

  Nicole’s hand shook as she lifted the photo. She didn’t say anything, instead just quickly drank her shot, waiting for Whitney to fill it again.

  Filling the glass, Whitney felt a little guilty about what she was about to say. “I sent the invitation.” She winced as the shot almost made it to Nicole’s lips before it froze, eyes locking with her own. “I changed the contact info a little bit on it... I guess what I'm saying is my mother doesn’t know you’re here.”

  The shot glass fell from tapered fingers, hitting the bar in a splashing thud.

[itscaramelli]

hello, been a while since i write and post. was thinking to launch my article + hashtag series but, i guess i have something a lot better for my 2nd bloggiversary.

as some of you might know, i recently just attended a campus conference; unashamed. so yes, this post today is going to be about that trip. how i got there, the people i met, how i think the city is, what i’ve learned and what God spoke to me personally :) so here it goes.

i love the aftermath of what the conference gave me. im still singing the songs in my head, picturing the visuals in my mind and having the chills from the Word i heard.

Aug 1st - 6th, 2017

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Day 1

our flight was at 2pm in the afternoon, we had a 3-4 hours layover in KL so we arrived at MNL at around 2am in the morning :’) THEN GUESS WHAT, we had few committees from the conference waited for us just to greet and welcome us in the airport on our arrival. that’s just the thing about the people there, they’re VERY welcoming and caring.

yes. it was undeniably tiring, i was unbearably exhausted but was cautiously excited of what’s gonna happen for the next few days. i personally got myself ready for this. i emptied my mind and heart to be filled with what God will give to me during the conference.

for first-timers like us, i knew we should be ready for any unexpected adventures. everything went well until we arrived in our apartment’s concierge; we couldn’t get in to our room as smooth as i imagined. it was around 3am and cuz i didn’t have the information about the room’s number yet, we called the owner of the apartment whom i been contacting through airbnb. YOU KNOW WHAT. turns out she was in labor. no kidding, no exaggeration. she legit was picking up my call and answering me in labor pain 😭💜 this is how extra and dedicated are the people there i’m tellin you.

long story short we finally got our keys, did little re-arrangements for the room and then we went to bed 💤 it was about 4am in the morning.

we got up at about 12noon to look straight for food lol 😂 speaking of which, we stayed in Pasay City. the food around the apartment was either fried chicken or pizza. so yes, you guessed it right, we had fried chicken for lunch.

the gates are opened at 2pm, so after a quick briefing in our tower lobby 2.15, we (with fellow indonesian delegates) walked together to the arena.

i honestly didn’t know what im gonna get myself into. i’ve never attended a campus conference before, so i was pretty much just ready for about anything. then, we were finally there, lining up at the entrance to get in…

they welcomed us with acoustic percussions session which they could invite us to dance along with them.

and that’s one of the things i really loved about the conference; they were really focused on students/youth that the tools they were using to attract us are 100% relatable.

we got there at about 4pm so we had to wait for 2 hours tops til the conference really starts. BUT IT DIDN’T FEEL THAT LONG AT ALL. as you all might know, i showed a glimpse of the ambience of the arena in my facebook posts (and more on this one!); that’s really nothing compared to the real thing, really.

they had videos of what to do and what not to keep us entertained, they also had videos of games which we can react to (basically to shout or dance or wave) and it was fun. they really kept our excitement going.

then they opened the praise & worship session with I’ll Never Walk Alone, it was soooOooooooOo uplifting. it really shows that they’ve thought everything through.

*tune in to Victory Worship’s Beautiful Love to get in my mood!*

the first session reminded me of how God had taken away the shame in me. i, we, were living in sin. sin brought shame. shame takes away our honor, while God actually gave security, talents & skills, which reflects in His image. and shame will try to make us go make an attempt to try with our own efforts to get that. when humanity decided to rebel against God, they immediately signs that they refuse what God has given us, the identity He had given us.

after hearing this message, the Holy Spirit gave me a vision of the things i’ve bothered myself with. the things that made me ashamed of myself in front of God. the lies that it had brought to me which made me who i am today.

then i felt Him. i felt Him saying “I have forgotten all of that. Melissa, you are MY daughter. you are ACCEPTED in My eyes. Don’t ever doubt My love for you. I have forgotten what you did wrong, it’s your turn to do the same.”

tears streamed down my face lyk craayyyyy D’:

God really touched my heart and made me understand that im worth far more than the shame i had built on myself. He has given me a new identity, my shame is covered by His great and everlasting love. no reason for me to be ashamed now.

so after the conference that night, we went to the mall for Jolibee :3

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Day 2

they are opening the gate at 12noon that day and the conference will start at 4pm, so we gotta get ready a lil earlier than the day before.

we had a few plans for lunch that day but didnt manage to do any of it lol #sleepdeprived. since we also wanted to get the merch while knowing it’s gonna be a long line ahead of us for it, so we decided to get lunch in a place near the apartment.

we got in the arena at around 1.30pm i guess, and then went straight for the merchhh! it was a long line, but it was worth it. their merch were really cool and comfy. i wike it.

we always start the session with a praise and worship session. honestly, i rarely listen and haven’t really familarize myself with the church’s own music. so for the past 2 days, we were kinda blanked out. but, the good thing is they repeated the same songs on different sessions that it actually got stuck in our heads little by little.

after day 1, i actually got the revelation of how i should see my church back home in Bali. i feel like now i know the potential of what my church is going to be like. i got to the understanding of being there in the arena feels more like reuniting with the big ENC family. we talk about the same things, we speak the same ‘language’ and we serve the same faithful God <3

session 2 was about being unashamed of God Himself. it hit me just by the title of the message. i love how the conference have its own flow to make us understand in being shame-free. i learned that when we are already unashamed, free from the burden of shame, we can help others to do the same.

to live fearlessly unashamed is to live FULL of the Holy Spirit. God has called me to live a life of fullness, nothing half portioned. when i focus on God, i can see beyond my obstacles.

instead of being ashamed of God, i need to be proud. God has given me the spirit of boldness and love, that’s what happens when i focus on what God has given me. i use that to bring others back to Him, to let others love Him and experience His love. there’s no substitute in living/having the Word; i can’t love God FOR others.

with a lil greeting from few new MCs, we continued to the next session.

this time they talked about being unashamed of the Gospel. here’s what i’ve learned about it; the Gospel works because God MAKES IT WORK. it’s not me nor what i did, but God’s only power.

reasons to be unashamed of the Gospel; first, clarity of the message. meaning, let’s not put too much on our shoulders. Jesus is the message, i shud be telling about Him and what He’s done. second; conviction of Its truth. the Gospel is TRUE no matter they believe it or not. i shudnt hesitate to ask questions/to explore the Word together with fellow world changers :) next; confidence of Its power. the power is in the Gospel, not in me. focus on sharing about Jesus so that i can overcome my obstacles. next reason to be unashamed of the Gospel; compassion for the lost. 

God has a heart for the lost, He wants me to feel the same. and why was i ashamed of the Gospel u ask? cuz i was too focused on myself (on my cant’s and wont’s that i waste time on doubting myself, basically relying on public opinion) rather than the people who are longing for Jesus. 

i have been entrusted with an important duty and have been FILLED with the greatest power, so NO REASON TO BE ASHAMED.

we’re continuing the day to the worship night. during the 2-hour break we got the chance to reunite with the 10Days team from Baguio who visited Bali not so long ago <3 felt so gooood to be with this family again!

it was Campus Day that day, so we were supposed to wear our campus attires/uniforms. cuz lé lack of information i had, we didnt pack any of ours. so me, i decided to change to one of the tees i bought earlier.

now that i have His spirit, the next session was about having the power to preach the gospel. the Holy Spirit gives me boldness. let HIS WORD 'cut out’ into (their) hearts, it’s NOT my job to do that.

the spirit that we’re bringing home is the supposed to be like a volcano not matchsticks. we’ll always have to be ready to explode and let that spirit run through, not easily blown by raging winds. #weareTeka #notTeFiti #datDisneyreferencetho #sorry?

worship night started. we were literally just singing worship songs, speaking in tounge and declaring prophetic words. that part of the night really strengthened the message i have heard from the previous sessions.

there was a part where we were asked to just kneel down and be still to hear from God. im always looking forward to that, cuz i really want to experience hearing directly from God. but like how i’ve mentioned before, God has His own way to communicate with me. 

so on that complete silence while kneeling down, i didnt hear anything.

but when we started to go back standing up, while they’re singing worship songs in the background and prophetic words to strengthen, God started to picture faces in my heads. faces of the people i know and the people i’ve never even met before. faces of people from around the world.

those people i know, are my friends in college. my best friends whom i’ve spent most of my time with back in college. God was showing me how precious they are to me and to Him. God made me understand His heart for them, and not only that, on that very second He started to pour out His heart into mine. i started crying because God made me feel their pain in need of the Salvation. God refreshed me their back stories to remind me they’ve survived life, and they’ve survived for a reason. and that reason is to come back and reunite with Christ.

God changed my heart since that night. God made me see the importance of this mandate He left us to do. im fired up and revived by the Truth that has set me free from shame, and made my spirit rise to be ready to go home and do what needed to be done all this time.

we ended the night with a celebration, praising and worshipping God. the feeling of celebration synchronised with my heart, which was rejoicing knowing im living in a great and powerful purpose. it was a life-changing night for me. i went home with a happy, full and free heart.

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Day 3

same like day 2, we needed to be at the arena at 2pm at least.

different from me and my brother, Jeremy, we had Arrows to attend to that morning. the service starts at 9am so we went from our apartment at 7.30am to be on time there when the gate opens.

Arrows (in Ministry) is a community of Pastors’ Kids in the church worldwide. 

soooooo they served us great breakfast there. breakfast is my favorite meal of the day and there are a lot of foods to choose from i was so happy lol =)) but as you know i cant eat that much anyway, so i literally just had cereal and milk.

it was all good til i heard that we had to sit with complete strangers in one table hahahahaha. shud i even talk about this again? im a full-on introvert :)) just ask me to say hi to people i’ve never met before, and i could faint hahahaha kidding. but yes, please im speaking for fellow introverts on the face of this planet; we don’t like people, we love them :)))

it was not easy sure, but remembering what happened to me the night before i think i got this. so yea, i ended up in this table of 7 of us (new friends!) i guess? it was great to be around the friends who understands and who gets it. we all know the 'pressure’ and it was nice to hear their experiences and how they overcome their hard times.

personally i was never pressured with the pastor’s kid title by my parents. i already understood my role as God’s child and that is not different than any other God’s children in the world. since i was little i’ve never felt so excluded. i’ve never felt i had to be an example BECAUSE im a pastor’s kid, but its because i shud be the salt and light. then when it’s about dealing with meeting people’s expectations, what i understand is that im not a people-pleaser, im a Jesus-pleaser. *grins*

indonesian delegates are wearing indonesia themed/written attire that day. so before heading to the arena together with the bus, i and Jeremy had to change first.

it was a bitter-sweet feeling cuz it was the last day of the conference, but i also can’t wait to go home and share what has impacted me here. as i’ve mentioned before, they never made us feel like we’re waiting cuz they had these videos that kept us entertained.

they made us shout when we see our country’s name on the screen. how convenient??? we were wearing our country’s tees :“)))))

we had Victory Worship to lead us in praise & worship that final day! :))

the fifth session was shared by a Japanese pastor, he introduced us few Japanese words that we can actually use in discipleship. twas fun :3

from that session, using the story of Zacchaeus, we need to know some similarities here. both the campus and Jericho is a strategic place to start to change the world. God is in the business for destroying strongholds. and in the end, God wins :) Jesus engaged with Zacc(haeus), the very opposite person from who Jesus is. but He sees the potential in Zacc.

to have the heart to engage the campus, i need to see the pain of the lost. understand their need of Jesus and His salvation. then i see the potential in the Gospel to transform lives, not me or the people im reaching.

reach the campus by engaging the lost as lifestyle. because discipleship is a life-time process.

we ended that session with a powerful faith declaration.

the next session reminded me that we’re not only should impact our friends in the campus/school but also the people around us who we meet everyday.

what i’ve learned is that engaging the community is not meant to be intimidating and the Gospel is the power of God for Salvation. we are NOT the power, just vessels. so i need to put my confidence in God. cuz when i step out to help others, God will take care of me.

Jesus engaged the community. we engage the community to show what we look like, how we are about; reflecting heaven. it means we don’t always succeed. im not perfect, but im serving a perfect God.

to do it, i need to learn to wait on the Lord. go not with idea, but with faith and power from God. that’s the thing about us, we only carry the power. when i connect with God, i’ll realise who is the power and who is the carrier.

lastly, i need to remind myself that this is all about God. and im doing it to display His splendor.

on day two and day three, they had a halftime show during the break. that day, they chose pairs to represent each patron to play a game on the stage. its like a 'complete the lyrics’ kinda game. i was in the blue patron, our representatives lost but tsokeh!

we were supposed to bring flashlights or something that lights up that day. little did we know, that we’re actually going to use that for during the interval.

*tune in to The Beat by Victory Worship~*

the video got into a moment where it tells us to light up our flashlights while they ask things like; "are you unashamed of God?”, “are you unashamed of the gospel?”, and all we did was shout. and im telling you; i was not just shouting for the euphoria, but i was releasing my excitement cuz i know im free from shame itself and i cant wait to SHARE THE GOSPEL!!!

the video didn’t end there. after asking those questions, they wrote there “look around you. you are not alone.” (DUDEEEEEE WHAT?? HOW WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL THAT TIME???!!) i held JJ, Em and Ryan on the shoulders reminding them the same thing :“) the final session hasn’t started yet and i was already crying whattttt.

aaannnddddd the final session is here. #bittersweet :’) they opened with Victory Worship’s “The Beat” sung by soloists in VARIOUS LANGUAGES in the world. MY EMOTION– I CANNOT EXPLAIN IT. :”””””””””

from that final session, ive learned that Jesus’ last words were meant to show His end-game; for us, all of us, to live in the Kingdom of God where the devil has no power.

Jesus directed His disciples to a specific place for missions; Galilee. irreligious, insubordinate and interracial Galilee. that’s where God wants His Kingdom to be settled on. there was a clear purpose why Jesus chose the mountain of Galilee, its cuz that’s where all the wrong things happen. 

His mission of bringing His 12 disciples was to send the TEENAGERS! WOOTS!!

we are not saved from something, we are saved FOR something.

the discipleship message is and has always been about Jesus. when we make disciples, we’re bringing Jesus to spread Jesus. so that His Kingdom is brought to this world. the method to do is teaching. teaching is about a personal journey through a personal relationship. we make disciples as we journey though life together.

the moment when im doing the right thing, thats where temptation will find its way to me. so i gotta keep that spirit and keep my eyes on Jesus at all times. and reminding myself that Jesus promises all authority for me to be His daughter.

dat bitter-sweet feeling so strong tho :”) the conference has ended, but it’s just the beginning now!

after everything’s done we were asked to leave the arena immediately but you know me imma take as many pictures i cud, keeping dem memories bruhhh!

we had dinner with the 10Days team from SWM ’16 who went to Bali last year. we ate at this pizza place called Yellow Cab :3 good food with awesome and loving fransss <3 #reunited

after that we went for a coffee (not me) and played game cards there. one thing i’ve learned from the people there is that; they stay up late! hahaha we were still at that coffee shop over 11.30pm and people haven’t stopped coming in.

thought we stopped there? nope. we, well some of us, decided to go karaoke somewhere near the arena. but we were wrong. it was more than 4km, we walked for almost an hour i guess??? but then we didn’t karaoke after all cuz it was too late and the minimum use for the room was for 3 hours so. yep we walked back :) fun…

what a DAY. we got back in our apartment then directly went to bed.

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Day 4 (last day)

we had plans with the Dionglays for that afternoon :3 we were sent an uber to go to the Every Nation building in BGC.

we were taken to the cafeteria as soon as we arrived. had lunch and then we were toured around the building, took pictures in front of the infamous world map and then sat in for a while in the prayer training. in that very prayer training, we got new friends and got a chance to partner up with them in prayer.

i personally loved the building, it’s like seeing the future! hahah everything is in its place and so organised. the atmosphere was so welcoming i didn’t want to go out :’)

but we did, we did few walks around the BGC and i started to realize that the EN building is literally surrounded by campuses and world embassies… was kinda speechless, it’s like God showed His obvious purpose for them to be placed there. <3

the rest of the day was funnnnn, we went to Market Market then had Philippines authentic cuisine for dinner. i enjoyed and loved every minute, it’s like reuniting with family.

went home with a full heart and tummy :3

and of course i didn’t go pack then sleep. i was legit polaroid photo hunting with Ems. didn’t go anywhere far, we went downstairs to the playground and pool area tryna get the best shots we could get. #lastnight #gottamakeitcount

packed then went to bed at around 1am? i forgot! x)

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Day 5

going homeeee :(: flight was at 12noon, so we needed to be there at least at 9am.

yes, that was a Sunday. but church service was impossible to attend, so we did a mini worship & sharing sesh in the apartment before we took off.

our kuya managed to get us some friends to help us for our airport trip. didn’t pay attention to the ticket, we actually got off at the wrong airport terminal =)) i panicked cuz i can’t have anymore spontaneous adventures that time :’)))) but God made everything go smooth afterwards, we made it in time for check in and baggage drop.

our flight to KL was 1 hour delayed, so when we got in KL we didn’t get that long layover we expected. it was good but kinda disappointing(?) cuz we actually prepared few things to do while waiting at the KL airport =‘)) but the faster the better righttttt???!!

after flights for more than 5 hours in total, WE WERE FINALLY HOME <3 <3 <3 welcomed by our families, who were ready to hear what we’d experienced for the last 5 dayssss!

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MY HEART IS FULL.

i can’t thank God enough for the opportunity for me to go there.

Manila is absolutely home away from home. everybody there is family whom i hold dear close in my heart <3

special shoutouts!

to the Salazars & the Dionglays for taking care of us there and managed everything to make sure we got back home safely.

to my fellow indonesian delegates; it was good to be with you guys again <3

to the 10Days team from Baguio, ate Rona, ate Sha, kuya Geoff, and Kneekie; thank you for slipping in time to reunite with us!

to the SWM16 10Days team; thank you for the delicious dinner and also tagging us along to your alumni reunion awww

to my ENC Pastor, my awesome uncle, Ps. Ari; for sending me <3

to my family for letting me do diz and made everything possible! IM SO GRATEFULLLLL <3

to Jj, Em and Ryan; LET’S CHANGE THE CAMPUS AND CHANGE THE WORLD.

have a sweet day.

xx,

Caramelly.