#posting this rn because didn't have enough time before exam

[sanitycheckroll]

10/2024 Moth - Healer with golden eyes. From "Viatica" IF by @fir-fireweed Another MC and another sketch that I never really finished, but this time it's more intended this way. It was more of an experimental one. Also another IF that when I played it the first time it just sat in my head for 2 weeks straight having me hyperfocus on it hard. Love the characters and the whole story concept. Still need to play the newest update. She is a moth and the Lion is her lamp.

[pomefioredove]

can I request house wardens + leech twins with a reader who doesn't eat enough bc Crowley doesn't give them enough for food, and they end up really ill and collapsing or something. I'm cravin some fluffy comfort rn, pls and thank you 🙏

I got you🫡🫡 as someone who's been through an eerily similar situation, I really liked this request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ another crowley moment™️

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jade, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating

Riddle wouldn't even have to like you to rush to your side. but he does like you, which makes it all the worse

after checking your vitals, you're in the infirmary. he's got doctors for parents, after all, and he knows that malnutrition is bad

he should have seen the signs...

with exams coming, he's been so busy, and he assumed that you were just tired from studying

but he can feel guilty later. right now, he needs to focus on you getting well again, and not killing Crowley

(then, of course, he'll look for some legal statute or clause that he can threaten Crowley with so you're fed properly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona noticed you'd been acting a little weird lately, but watching you collapse still puts him in shock

luckily, Ruggie and Jack are nearby to help you to the infirmary, so Leona can focus on hunting Crowley down like an animal

there are very few times where Leona is particularly grateful for his status, but this is one of them. just one word on how his family will be hearing about Crowley's neglect, and the old bastard is begging him for forgiveness

even after that, Leona still sends Ruggie with snacks and drinks to Ramshackle

and if you ever scare him like that again, you'll regret it (lovingly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the news of you collapsing during flight lessons reaches Octavinelle rather fast. no one is particularly surprised, since Floyd had mentioned how easily you'd been bruising lately just the night before, but everyone is certainly worried

Azul is the first at your side, asking you all sorts of questions, worried sick. Jade has to remind him to give you space to rest, since you look exhausted (had you always had those dark circles? how could Azul have not noticed?)

now, Azul and the tweels could easily find a way to pressure Crowley, but they know better than to trust him

from now on, you'll be eating in the Mostro Lounge, free of charge

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

perhaps Kalim was just oblivious, because he really didn't think anything was wrong until you were suddenly on the floor in front of him

sure, you'd been a little moody lately, but he figured it was just a thing you were going through. and besides, you know that you can talk to him about anything... right?

Jamil hurries to check your pulse, and shouts for him to get the school nurse- which is jarring, because Jamil never shouts

when you explain everything to Kalim later, he feels... terrible. he should've known- no, he should've asked

Kalim insists you stay at Scarabia while you're recovering, and makes sure you have the most enriching, delicious meals money can buy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil knew it was bad, but not this bad. if he had known you were on the verge of collapsing, he would've taken a firmer approach to getting you to eat

you're going to worry him to death someday, you know that?

after he's done verbally eviscerating Crowley, he'll insist on joining you at every meal. he'll eat at Ramshackle, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if that's what it takes

he's subtle about it, at least

if he notices that your plate feels empty, he'll just take some food from his and put it on yours. gracefully, elegantly, without a word

you'll come home one day to see your kitchen stocked with vitamins, supplements, and apples (courtesy of Epel)

<3 and a note that says he'll treat you to dinner whenever you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

never scare Idia like that ever again. he wasn't even with you when you collapsed, and he STILL nearly had a heart attack

listen, he knows he's not a great role model when it comes to nutritional eating, but you have got to tell him these things. he would've had Ortho go get takeout! or something!

typical Crowley behavior, SMH. what does he think you are? a rabbit? even the school horses get treated better...

no way that Idia is going to even bother with that old fart, anyway. you want something? he'll get it for you. you don't even have to ask, he'll just send food to your place (and have Ortho check your vitals more often but shhh)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I would not want to be in the room when Malleus finds out about this

not even the building. you know what? I'd steer clear of the whole island, because it will not be pretty

when you collapse in front of him, it feels like he's dying, too. the panic sets in, and he sends Lilia to look after you, and Silver and Sebek to escort you to the infirmary, and then he casually threatens to smite Crowley. obviously

if the students and staff of NRC thought Malleus was scary just being Malleus, he's terrifying when he's mad

(rest assured that you will be getting ten times the amount of food from now on)

it's thunderstorms for days after, but he never leaves your side

[sundays-lover]

stupid in love

husband!zhongli x gn!reader — fluff

synopsis: you're a talkative drunk and zhongli is in love.

content warning: reader is drunk and mentioned to have hair (lmk if i missed anything !)

notes: NOT PROOFREAD <3 ; zhongli is a wonderful lover but let's not forget that he is also canonically a menace 🫶 ; i'm writing and posting as much as i can rn bc i'll be inactive this week because of exams 😭

zhongli can't recall a time when he felt this helpless.

as the geo archon, he possesses the strength of a thousand meteors raining from the sky and has emerged victorious from numerous battles. his voice has commanded countless armies and his hands formed the towering mountains liyue is well-known for today. he is a respectable leader who can devise efficient strategies to overcome any obstacle he may face.

however, at this moment, he is not rex lapis, the god of contracts and liyue's archon. he is the simple zhongli, the funeral consultant of the wangsheng funeral parlor and, above everything, your husband.

tonight, his duty is to get you home. unfortunately for him, you don't seem to want to comply.

you notified him this morning that you and your co-workers would be going out for drinks that night to celebrate a successful business deal, with the promise that you would be monitoring how much you'll drink. while he had his doubts, he trusted that you would have a sense of rationality regardless of if you were sober or not and didn't question you further.

in hindsight, he supposes he should have enforced his doubts when he bumped into a co-worker of yours as he clocked out of work, who sounded tipsy, yet sober enough to inform him that you were currently drunk off your mind and needed help getting home.

that is exactly how he found himself trying to calm down a drunk you on the streets of liyue.

you threw yourself onto him the moment he arrived, not even bothering to bid goodnight to your acquaintances who were putting a group effort into keeping you balanced. after zhongli thanked them for finding him and wished them farewell in your stead, they took their leave. as they turn to head to their respective homes, they could hear you loudly thanking your lover for coming get you.

while the area was significantly less populated at night compared to during the day, the unusual sight of the normally collected funeral consultant struggling to bring his drunkenly rambling spouse home caught the attention of whoever was in the vicinity, causing an embarrassed blush to spread to his face which he ultimately chose to ignore.

his experience as a god and warrior never could have prepared him for this situation, he surmises.

meanwhile, you catch the look of powerlessness on his face and stifle a laugh.

“heh, you look so stupid right now~!”

zhongli gapes at you as you burst into a fit of giggles.

“my husband~ so silly~ so dumb~” your hands reach out and cup his face before he has the chance to pull back.

he merely stares at you as you sing what he wants to believe are praises in your drunken tongue. at this distance—or rather, the lack thereof—he can see your details more clearly; your hair is disheveled and eyes droopy. your gaze is unfocused yet fixated on the way his skin squishes under your thumb.

but he thinks you're beautiful nonetheless. the glow of the street lanterns frame your figure and he thinks you look akin to the radiant sun. moonlight shines down upon you and its gleam creates the illusion of you emitting a halo. he takes these as signs from the universe, reminding him to cherish you with his entire being, for they have sent him their best. he is certain that whatever celestia can offer does not hold a candle to you.

this god of stone crumbles to dust from your touch alone…

while you busy yourself with poking and pinching his cheeks.

he regains awareness of the situation and breaths a resigned sigh. you watch his face soften and shift to an expression that almost looks pleading, and you gasp loudly.

“ooh! so handsome!!!” you squeal, attracting even more onlookers. “i want to kiss you on the mouff—”

zhongli beats you to it, placing a hand behind your head and gently leaning in for a kiss as deep as his adoration for you. you think your knees would have buckled if it weren't for the arm he had wrapped around your waist. you think you hear some of the lady passersby coo at your display of romance, but the echo of your heartbeat in your ears drowns them out.

his lips move slowly against yours, savoring the flavor of the bitter remnants of alcohol mixed with the sweetness of your lips. he doesn't think he's ever tasted a flavor as divine as this.

you are dazed when he pulls away, as though bewitched. he notices and chuckles, eyes full of mirth and tenderness as they peer into yours.

he speaks up, almost breathless. “you look very…”

no, no, no! if he starts charming and complimenting you after all that, you might think you’ll consider marrying him for a second time—

“...stupid right now, my love.”

you blink once. twice.

then you burst.

“you…!”

you thrash in his hold and bury your face in his chest, feeling a bashful warmth rise to your face for the first time tonight.

“you can't pull that on me! so mean…” you mumble into the lapel of his coat.

he chuckles again, more heartily this time. ugh, darn that handsome laugh…

“i apologize, my love.” you sense a teasing lilt, but you can tell he's sincerely coaxing you. a hand remains on the back of your head as you lean against him, fingers softly running through the strands of your hair.

zhongli remains that way, patiently waiting for your emotions to settle. when he hears you meekly mutter his name, he turns to you in his hold.

“yes, dearest?”

“...let's go home, please?”

he mentally sighs in relief. externally, he calmly adheres to your request with a nod. “then we shall head home at once.”

he pulls away to position you so that you are held onto his arm as he leads you home, acting as your support while you keep yourself upright.

the walk home is neither dull nor quiet as you relentlessly babble about any and every topic that you can think of. you sway and stumble over the rocky pavement, but your incredibly attentive husband would never let you fall. frankly, he'd be more than happy to carry you if you asked.

a thought briefly flashes in his mind concerning how he's going to peacefully get you washed up and tucked in bed, but one look at you chatting away into the night and he supposes that he can afford to save those worries for after arriving home. until then, he entertains your mindless chatters with hums of acknowledgement and short quips as you walk arm in arm.

[xrlyz]

Hello! Hello! No pressure to respond to this at all but….

I recently (like a month ago and I was going to interact with you but I’m scared of people and I don’t have an ao3 acc 😔) started following your “I Saw Stars” fic and

OHMYSTARS ITS SO GOOOOD

I just finished chapter 20 because I’m procrastinating my studying for my last exam and oeojehqlshvsmsjdgshhsjs my mind is all over the freaking placeeeeeee.

I don’t want to distract you too much and you don’t have to respond but if you want can you describe what you think Jack’s clothing looks like (mainly his armor, but his normal wear also intrigues me) 👀

I love drawing and your fic is giving me so much motivation, but I like to have the original imaginers ideas if they have a specific look or feel in mind

Also if you do want to respond and rant more do you have any specific ideas on how his weapons look? :D

I probably won’t post this stuff on my acc if I do draw it because people I know irl know it and that scares me, but I will find a way to show you!!! >:}

Hijack has hijacked my brain and it is amazing thank you for your fic I love it so muchhhhh

I hope you have an amazing day/night/morning/whatever it is where you are!!!!

If you’re still swamped with exams good luck!!! You’ve got this!!! And if you aren’t I hope you can relax you’ve earned it! 💫💖✨

(Also sorry if you have gone into more detail about the clothing at any point. I have the memory and brain the size of a walnut that’s being fried by chemistry and atomic theory atm…….)

I'm finally getting back to you on this. Hi 👋😅

Okay, so, first of all. THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG. When I first saw this, I squealed and got actually angry that I didn't have the time to respond right away. I'm so glad you're liking my fic so far! I'm SO hyped to see what you're planning!! I'm literally vibrating rn from excitement. ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, on to the recently growing issue that is Jack's clothes. Istg his outfit is on the FBI's most wanted at this point, and let me tell you why. The reason I avoided describing what Jack was wearing like it was the second coming of the bubonic pluage was because, funnily enough, even I didn't know what Jack was wearing.

Fics with the same or similar trope of Jack being a Dragon Rider have existed before, TROAS is a perfect example of that, so creating an outfit for Jack that didn't feel unoriginal was hard. Thankfully, I took a few hours out of my day today to finally tackle this issue.

Edit: Deciding to put a cut here so people don't have to scroll so far just to get to the rest of my page.

Instead of describing it to you, I figured it'd be easier if I just drew something of my own and then showed you, so that you and any other fan who'd like to do fanart of I Saw Stars can have a reference photo at the least. Obviously, you can alter and change things about my designs. They're far from perfect, and I'd love to see what you can come up with! These are just the things I thought of.

Jack's normal wear:

I figured it'd be cool and also really cute if Jack kept his original hoodie and just slapped some light leather armor on top of it. (Only because Valka forces him to, of course.) As for the staff, *starts sweating* uhm... honestly, I just imagined it being made out of wood. I know nothing about different types of wood or their durabilities, so I'll definitely research that and find an actual material for his staff. For now though, I bestow upon you creative liberty on that fornt. 😅

Jack's dragon riding armor:

This is sadly just a concept sketch and not a full body like the last one. The reason for this is that I genuinely don't know what else to add other than the hood that I gave him. It's hard to make something that's not only white, made of scales, and has been redesigned by like five different authors by now, but that also has to be physically possible.

Note about Jack's character design in both photos that you might find helpful: Jack's primary shape used in Canon is a hexagon (like an actual snowflake). I decided to keep that in his normal attire, but for his armor, I switched his primary shape to a heart, so he matched Artemis. You don't have to do this, but I thought you might like the distinction a bit.

Anyway, thank you so much again! I can't wait to see what you cook up with the motivation my fic has given you!!! Also, I hope your finals go well. Those are always super stressful all the time 😭

Have a great night/day! And to anyone else who sees this, yes, you can draw fanart of my fic and use these as references, but please notify me if you post fanart and give credit to the fic if it's specifically inspired by mine. Not because of, "Oh no! Someone didn't credit me!" But because I adore and appreciate any and all fanart or affection, me and my fic get because it means you guys are enjoying my stuff! I love to see it, and I love to give love back, so tell me if you make stuff! I WANT TO PRAISE YOU 👹👹👹

[bonesandthebees]

I'm really happy to hear that you're comfortable enough to write rose again. The break was definitely something I feel like we all needed and I'm looking forward to seeing rose return since I really like seeing you write politics and the whole vibe of the fic in general (Niki my beloved. I can't wait to see her again. My love).

I haven't read the scrap bin yet but I plan on it before going to bed as tlou is my shit and I love seeing other takes on the world as I have my own mini au of it (I only have like 1 scene actually written from tlou2 but the brainworms are real). Also I am one of the people who have never seen fullmetal alchemist before so I am curious as to what the scene is that it needed tws.

I am excited for what is to come and hope that I will not drown in the mountain of schoolwork waiting for me next week.

I will def be sending in more of my thoughts on priory because I need to scream about it but I hope all is going well in your life :]

Also your music taste is banger after banger. I would send one of those music note asks but I do not have emojis rn :[

-Shark anon

yeah I think we all really needed the break, me to feel comfortable writing the story again and you all to feel comfortable reading the character. I'm about halfway through the chapter now? maybe a little more? so hopefully it shouldn't be too long till I can post it, but I'm also not going to rush myself. I'm taking it easy when it comes to writing these days.

hope you enjoy/enjoyed the scrap bin snippets!!! tlou au one only existed for a brief time in my head while I was watching the show but it was sooo good. I knew it was never going to be an au I wrote out in full but I just wanted to capture a little of it with sandduo, just for myself.

also, uh, good luck with the fullmetal alchemist one. it's intense (and might not be very enjoyable if you've never seen fma??) but fun fact fma is about two codependent brothers one of whom is an angry blonde teenager who wears red and hates being called a child. edward elric is literally ctommy to a T.

good luck with all the schoolwork!!! I see you guys all talking about homework and exams and I'm just like thank god I'm out of school now

tbh I got more music asks but I felt like they were getting a bit spammy on the dash so I stopped answering them I didn't wanna annoy anyone 😭 glad you enjoyed seeing my music taste though!! I always love sharing songs with you guys

[saragrekey]

little art chat before I go to sleep… this is nothing important just a thought dump/update/blogpost idk

So we’re a little over a week into my junior year of college and as expected! I don’t want to do my schoolwork I just want to draw lol.

When I first started my whole -drawing everyday to improve- thing last summer, I was just drawing pinterest faces, so I’d spend 30 minutes in the morning doing a sketch and that would fill my quota for the day. Now that I’m learning how to draw from imagination, my goals are so much more lofty and I have a lot more to practice. Which is been so fun!

But maybe too fun!

I’m struggling to pull my focus away from drawing. This was already an issue during the summer when I didn’t have many responsibilities, and now I obviously have a lot more on my plate. And I just cannot bring myself to focus on school.

Which is something I’ve struggled with for awhile, I’m just completely burnt out of the cycle of working at maximum capacity and pulling all nighters for an exam or critique over and over again. I’m just very over it, lol, but on the same note, I have such deep rooted anxiety about getting in trouble for not having my work or getting a bad grade. So you can see the predicament I’m in!

Idk. I’m not very smart or gifted when it comes to school but I got good grades in high school without having to study, so I just never figured out how to really learn and study correctly. Every assignment, lesson, exam is just a task to be completed, not building upon a collection of knowledge. Why would I review the course a little bit each day when I can cram it all the night before the exam and get the same grade? /j

A lot of it is of course just skills I gotta develop. I definitely need to improve my discipline and time management.

This was not meant to be about school lol. But all that to say, I just can’t seem to care about my homework, and improving my art is infinitely more important to me. But that’s obviously not how it works. I have that thing where I crave routine but can’t stick to one. I daydream about having a super nice organized routine where I can fit a couple hours of practice here and enough time for homework and maybe a little time for video games every once and awhile. I miss video games.

Hopefully I’ll find my footing as we progress through the semester. If you see me start talking about doing any kind of inktober, yell at me bc I definitely don’t have time for it 😭

I’ve not posted any art in awhile! I have been going through a bit of a rusty patch, kinda from school disrupting my life and also I got sick this weekend so I didn't really draw at all. I think the current stage I'm at is really committing what I've learned this summer to memory, to kinda have this basic style to draw from. Because it's like, I have the knowledge but if I don't reinforce it I will forget lol. My next big focus is I want to improve on expressions and overall adding more character to my sketches. I feel like rn a lot of my drawings just look like dolls.

All this to say, I did not do my accounting homework I drew Amphibia fanart instead lol. Here’s a time skip Marcy doodle for reading. It’s actually a few weeks old but I really like it, I feel like the 3-dimensionality of her face is right.

Ok bye love u have a good day!!

[vertigoambrosia]

looking at some jujutsu kaisen again

nanami is hilarious; my man fucking hates work just like everyone else

i know spoilers about him but for now we stan one (1) guy who wishes he didn't have to have a job

it's really hard to skip the intro/ending themes on free crunchyroll (at least on the roku app) before the ads come in so i'm lucky the ending theme is really catchy

(i know i could just stream on my computer where i have adblock, but i like being able to watch shit on the tv)

i know about the hidden inventory arc so it's intereting seeing geto here

poor ichiji he's just a little normal guy

noooo leave junpei's mom alone!

that finger had extra crust on it

btw i can't believe in that ending bit gojo basically sent nanamin dickbutt

someone has to have made that edit, right?

what the fuck man! i was not expecting that to happen to junpei

poor guy

...why am i watching curses play popup pirate

nanamiiiiiii

oh no we're getting nanami flashbacks he's done for :(

oh no he's even prettier with the glasses off

i can see why people go feral for him on twitter

YUJIIIIIII

he said FUCK YOUR DOMAIN

uhhh thanks for the meatball recipe i guess?

oh it's tournament time now?

oh jogo has his body again

man i hate mahito so much

those stictches on geto's head are freaking me out; makes me think of lobotomy :(

oh new opening???

i love that nanami and gojo hang out

a robot??????????

man this show's tone is really all over the place

feels weird to have wacky tournament time right after that mahito fight

gojo is loveable but it must be a nightmare actually having to deal with him

new ending is quite skippable i miss the old one

ok now it's tournament time

maybe

ohhh todo is gonna get wrecked, isn't he? (like he deserves)

or wait he thinks he's found his soulmate or something because they both like the same type of girl

seriously what is this

LMAO at the inoki quote

ok for real though why is there a robot

i don't remember the third first year's name and i feel bad about it

tbh i don't remember a lot of student's names rn but it's different since she's a main character (or at least on the same level of character as megumi)

i'm tired of todo honestly

man todo really thinks he and itadori are a Fated Battle i guess

...what's a pepper-kun?

oh what the fuck is this creepy ass mechamaru shit?

omggg baby panda!!!

damn mechamaru probably isn't even that poor guy's real name

i hope...

'humans are creepy' that's such a funny way to put it

eat shit witch girl

oh that nail technique is siiiick

fuck yeah nobara!!

ok but if mai and maki are both rejected by the clan why is mai such a jerk about it?

like obviously mai's life in the clan sucks too, but i'm just not gaining the sympathy for her i feel like i'm suppossed to

ok i didnt' see her not even wanting to be a sorceror coming

maybe i'm being too harsh

another recipe?

ok can the chuunin exams finish already?

i love that this is supposed to be a curse felling contest but everyone's just doing pvp

man the eyes always closed character design really annoys the shit out of me so i'm glad at least kumo has a reason for it

ooo voice guy!

i love miwa and hate the kyoto principal

damn these clans aren't just dysfunctional, they're antiquated sexism dysfunctional

oh mahito's here to end the chuunin exams early

lmaooo wtf the old man's weapon is rock?

these post-episode skits are so weird

i should be asleep but i'm not :)

noo nue :(

and inumaki i guess :(

main boy is back!

hah i guess i'm getting invested enough to not have a lot to say

todo wtf

'imma let u die if you don't hit that move, bestie' (but also give you important advice)

finally after a lot of talking and exposition todo actually starts helping

man i really want to see what his technique is but it is also almost five in the morning and i've watched like six episodes in a row so i guess i'll stop here for now

[lemonflowercat]

75 soft: break day

i am so tired. and funny enough - yes, i did wake up feeling super low energy - but i am so much more tired now than i was when the day began and all i've done is mindlessly scroll through YT. it's not just me, right? everyone feels this drained and disgusting my-brain-is-a-a-sewer feeling, after consuming media for hours, right? and everyone starts to relate to the "if you do this, you probably have ADHD," posts, right? --- LOL. yeah so i reached that point, and that was my cue to unhook my thumb from my screen. let's not even get started with how i feel about people throwing around "ADHD" and "anxiety" and "OCD" and "neurodivergence" like it's the flu.

ugh, everyone out there is trying to sell something, everything is disingenuous un-original misleading and just twisted manipulative ways to hook people's attention. this is not the internet i envisioned growing up. ):

and despite feeling this way, i've been an avid consumer for 8h today. i've been a slave to my monkey brain, and now we get out of it.

today was supposed to be the day i make some crazy headway with my study goals and finish up biochemistry - which didn't happen clearly. i can't entirely pinpoint why my day fell apart, but i know exactly when - and that was right after breakfast. the same thing happened to me yesterday, and the day before. i've also been feeling really tired and yeah self-hate is peaking so these are some things i want to figure out for myself before i start a new week.

things i did that "align" with the person i'm trying to be:

this week v last week is disappointing, because the bare minimum i intended to do is be better than my previous week. but let's not dismiss the fact that i am now down to 3 relatively easy units in biochemistry. it's very hard to fight these deep failure sadness that's engulfing me rn. but push through we will.

i stuck to my calorie budget nearly 6 days this week, which is my best streak in a long time. but what i'm most happy about is that i've eaten out only once this week! which is something that was seeming impossible to do in my Goa life. i had lots of amazing nourishing meals that i am so grateful for.

morning yoga: 5x this week (including this morning's restorative yoga) and evening wxo: 5x this week.

rationally, it looks like i don't need to feel as terrible as i'm feeling. i think it's how little i've studied that my inner critic is being most judgmental about. it's also making me so anxious. i've been feeling like i have a scream trapped in my throat all day. i feel numb, and my brain keeps counting down to exam day with mounting dread. i wonder if the stress has a part to play in how tired i've been feeling. that coupled with the fact that my days get pretty exhausting, what with doing the me-things and then the home-things. like cleaning and cooking and tending to my babies (kokie and suzie). sigh it's not like i have a choice.

well...i don't know what really to do to fix this studying problem. i guess i have to be more mindful about my energy levels and figure what's really working for me. for now, one thing i've noticed is - the afternoon heat is sapping my energy. i will

remember to draw the blinds by my study corner

reserve the afternoon for chores and cooking because i've noticed i've been focusing better in the evening

hope this week is better x

[jupitercl0uds]

ive just been reminded of stuff oh no

if youve read most of my posts since like mid august, maybe september onwards, youll know that i am STRUGGLING rn. while its been all over the place, having highs and lows, i seriously havent been this bad since 2020/21. i know the reasonable thing to do is take a break, but i cant do that because i have pitiful impulse control atm. that being said, the only thing to really stop me is to deactivate. my main blog's been going for years now, so i dont want to lose everything, though i also get the urge to occasionally.

the issue is, the only times i actually feel almost fully comfortable in a social circle is on tumblr and even then im still scared and awkward. my school friends keep saying really hurtful stuff and while a lot of it is just as a joke, theres almost no time to be serious with them. ive tried. i weakly asked them to stop calling everything retarded more months before finally putting my foot down and demanding, although it took a month of 'retard! whoops, i shouldnt say that' before they just went straight back to it.

my family loves me but i dont like it here. i dont think i even can get into it because its complicated. just know ive seen and HEARD a lot over my short life and its finally starting to catch up to me.

as for the other kids in my school, im in an awkward spot. im honestly fairly 'normal', just with slight outbursts from time to time, but ive always been weird so i always will be. oh, year 9 me, how naïve you were. they don't care if you have an autism diagnosis, if you mask or not, you will NEVER be normal, you will NEVER be accepted and they dont care if theres a reason. if anything, that makes it worse.

im only ever happy when im on tumblr or doing something sonic related. on tumblr, im insecure that nobody really likes me or someone's going to manipulate me, with no amount of reassuring being enough to change that. and as youve already seen me say, sonic is 'too childish', no matter how heavy the themes can be.

this always happens. pre-2020, i didnt really use social media much and i was 11 oldest, so my main escape was roblox/youtube. in 2020-22, i was only happy when chatting to friends on discord. that was ruined when we all started to argue and drift apart. in 2022-23, it was tiktok. this was then ruined when popular kids found my silly waluigi tiktoks and started sharing them around. i havent used tiktok since june and i havent posted a public video since may.

but then, last year, i remembered i had a tumblr account. i started to use it more. and then, when sonic got involved and suddenly i was becoming friends with people, i started to feel my absolute happiest. i was euphoric.

until, of course, my brain struck.

if my birthday werent at the end of august, i think i would be much worse than i currently am, because at least i had a short break to be happy. school was off to a bad start from the very beginning. i didnt sleep the night before my first day, nor did i sleep before the second. what's worse, mum didn't let me stop working at the charity shop i had THOUGHT was for the summer, because, you know, i dont have anything on my plate, im able to just have a designated day of the week where i have to be productive. nope! ive had my days off, but ive still had work every week. is it hard? no! do i have the spoons to go most weeks? also no!

thats not to mention exams. ive always been a well performing student and will be surprised if i fail even 1 gcse, but im not the top of any of my classes, not even the ones im passionate about. no, i dont have to be, i know, but when you grow up as a kid who often IS the top of their year in something, the moment you aren't, you feel like a failure. even if i get all 9s and a d* in drama, there'll be someone who gets more than me in something, and i know i definitely wont get all 9s and a d* in drama. i was proud for a moment, for being top of english, until i found out a girl ive known since primary got a 9 in an english language mock. english language. my favourite english and the subject im best at. needless to say, i was miserable. i barely even slept across the course of my mocks and wont be surprised if i do the same for my gcses.

i sometimes wonder if im just not built for the world, which could honestly be the case. because i have low support needs and my biggest problems are sensory issues (which can be easy to prevent) and social problems, i forget im even allowed to be disabled by autism. but i think that honestly might just be the case.

ive always wanted to be a teacher or an animator, hopefully both, but im starting to wonder if i can do either. animator has such a big workload. teacher also has a big workload, but i know because my family is full of teachers and artists that it's the kind of workload i can manage. but the kids? could i control the kids? could they even take an autistic, nonbinary teacher seriously? again, i dont have high support needs, but its hard not to notice im autistic. of course, if everything goes to plan, i would probably start teaching in the 2030s earliest, 2050s latest, so the world will have changed, but how much?

i get most of these are problems out of my control, but i suppose im just scared and tired of living. that's why i make a million posts a minute: i cant get a word in edgeways with anyone else. that's why i get so apologetic: id get ridiculed for trying otherwise. i get that im annoying and boring. i should know. when i was 3, my dad infodumped about back to the future to me for about half an hour and it was such a tiring experience that it still gets brought up. so i get it, it's annoying when all i care to talk about is sonic. but its the one thing i can care about right now. the world is in ruin and i hate being alive. i dont even have enough motivation to act upon any occasional suicidal/self harming thoughts.

but life goes on and there's no way to stop it.

[maellor]

Thanks so much for the tag, @curiouselleth!!

Are you named after anyone?

Yes, both my grandmothers.

Do you have kids?

No XDD

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not really. Only with a couple of people, but not often.

When was the last time you cried?

I have no more tears left to cry. I very often want to, but there are no tears left, so my eyes are just burning. Last time i did actually manage to shed tears was about a month ago, because my dog almost died.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their hair, then the eyes. But hair means a lot to me.

Eye colour?

Hazel-ish.

What sports do you/have played?

Right now (and for a few years) nothing, as I'm concentrating on my studies. When i was 5 until 7 i used to dance (ballet and latin), when i was 8-11 i did swimming, 9-10 i did Tae Kwon Do and 11-14 i did Kung Fu. Then from 13 to 16 i did archery, which i absolutely loved, but i had to stop at that age to concentrate on the exams to get into uni. I really want to start archery again, but that teacher retired and the new teacher is awful.

Of course I've tried many mainstream sports at school, but I didn't like them enough to do them outside of school.

After all these I came to the conclusion that sports aren't really my thing, save archery.

Oh I also intend to try horse riding this year, but we'll see how that'll go.

Any special talent?

I'm not sure what's considered special?...

I can pick up languages relatively easily, but I don't think that's uncommon.

Uhm.. I have excellent memory, when i want to. But when i want to forget something, i can completely erase it from my memory to the point where, say, if someone refers to that event/dialogue/whatever i cannot recollect at all that it happened and that i was present.

(Then there are some more weird abilities that i have, which i don't think most of you would believe... But if you want, and you're very open-minded, dm about it! I'd be thrilled to be able to talk about those to someone.)

Where were you born?

Greece.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Neither? I don't like scary movies at all, but i also think happy endings are so rare in real life that it seems fake to me, when a movie or a book has a happy ending. How can anyone live "happily ever after" after enduring so much pain, after going through so many challenges?Even if he lives, he'll never be the same.

Like the end of lotr, for example. Yes, they win. Yes, they live. But are they happy? I don't think so. And that's a far more optimistic ending than in the Silm.

I went to see the new Indiana Jones film with my uncles and little cousins, a couple of months ago. The ending was a happy ending. And it seemed to me so damn wrong. The good guys had this big adventure, they went through so much challenges, and they just lived happily ever ever?? Like, how?? I don't get it.

That said, if i were in a group of people and we had to choose a film, I'd vote happy ending just because i dislike scary movies more.

Do you have any pets?

Yes, a dog! Before him i used to have a cat.

How tall are you?

Barely 1.59 cm.

What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing (but hesitating to post it), painting, traveling, trying to translate rock operas. Probably more that I can't think of rn.

Favourite subject in school?

It really depends on the school year.

In primary school it was music and art class.

In middle school it was the ancient greek classics (Odyssey in first grade, Iliad in second grade, Helen by Euripides in third grade).

In high school... in first grade we had a theater class, wish was interesting. In second and third grade we were just preparing for the Panhellenic exams, to pass to university. I was studying language, history, ancient greek and sociology. I didn't like any of those, but sociology was by far the easiest, so i preferred it.

In uni, the best i had so far was British poetry, just because i managed to convince my teacher to let me write a paper on Finrod's part in the Lay of Leithian

Dream job?

Ummm... Realistically speaking? If it weren't for my inability to talk to a group of grown ups, maybe an academic. I don't really want to be a teacher in a school, because I don't have the mental ability right now to pretend that everything is okay, put on a smile and teach kids... Although that's probably what I'll end up doing.

I also really want to be a writer, i have thought of a few original stories... But I don't think that being a full time writer is enough to live comfortably. So that'll have to be a side job...

Unrealistically speaking, i would love to be an astronomer or an astronaut, but I can't math. I tried following that career path, but I'm just so bad at math i had to change to literature.

Also unrealistically speaking I'd love to be a singer/actor in musicals and rock operas, but my voice is truly awful

But it's not like I'm dying about having any of these jobs. And that's because they are all real jobs, in the real world. I don't want to be in the real world. I want to be in Middle Earth. Gosh I'd die to live in the First Age... What would my job there be? I don't know, I'd probably follow Maglor and do whatever he wants which might include kinslaying but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Then I'd probably die fighting, but that's fine by me.

I'm bored to search who has done this already and who hasn't, so if any of you I'll tag have done it pls let me know!

No-pressure tagging:

@caenith, @general-illyrin, @totally-not-one-of-the-fae, @bloodandsteelwolf, @spiced-wine-fic, @quixoticanarchy, @samarqqand, @solarcola

and anyone else who wants to!!

Fifteen Questions for Fifteen Mutuals

With apologies for answering this so late - thank you for tagging me, @general-illyrin!!

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name - my middle name is named after a character in a very obscure fantasy novel though

Do you have kids? No.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, nearly constantly, I'm a snarky bitch

When was the last time you cried? Like...last week? Life is hard rn ok

What's the first thing you notice about other people? Honestly? Probably their hair. I like hair :)

Eye colour? Blue

What sports do you/have played? I used to run a lot if that counts, lately my health has been very borked so not so much anymore. I played soccer in middle school I guess? look im a nerd, what did you expect

Any special talent? ummmm. I play violin. I used to teach an elementary school orchestra so I guess I'm pretty good at wrangling 2nd graders? I'm also fairly good at wrangling Karens, I used to be a retail manager and it shows haha. oh I'm also very good at getting along with unfriendly cats.

Where were you born? USA

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, i hate scary movies

Do you have any pets? Yes! A cat named Momo (yes, he is named after the lemur from ATLA)

How tall are you? 5' 10.5", or 179 cm

What are your hobbies? Writing fanfic, reading fanfic, running (when I'm less sick), playing chess, playing Mario Party, uhhh does getting boba count as a hobby because i do a lot of it

Favorite subject in school? English/literature by a wide margin. Despite this I am now a chemical engineer

Dream job? Scientist who has the breakthrough that saves the planet and stops global warming. im doing my best ok

No-pressure tagging @eilinelsghost, @curuwen, @arrivisting, @leucisticpuffin, @redbootsindoriath, @mersilisk, @sakasakiii, @skull-bearer, @sesamenom, @aotearoa20, @solmarillion, @welcomingdisaster, @cycas, @idrilsscribe, and @melestasflight! You all are amazing <3

[pianostarinwonderland]

what a time to be a twst fan

oh boy, I know I'm late but that's because I unfortunately have responsibilities, but like. what the fuck, I can't not say something about this

they announced March sched a day before the last day of the month . huh. and Japan doesn't have Feb 28 as a holiday so Hm

but anyway

what the fuck, dorm Malleus on early March????

they're not gonna wazowski him on anniv dorm banner???????? you can actually get him???????????

or will they pull what EN did for bday Malleus and run dorm Malleus banner the same time as the anniv banner and not add his card into the anniv banner WWWWWWWW

but also anniv banner is just a glorified standard banner, and all dorm cards are automatically added to standard SOOO huh. that's funky.

anyway. HELLO???????? MAGIC 3??????? FOR LIMIT BROKEN SSR CARDS?????????????????

oughhhhhhhhh this is so fucking exciting how is it gonna be like. are there new effects the card can do??? can you do more duo magic????? can you deal 4 hits in total??? rn I'm just so excited about doing magic 3 with my lv110 dorm Azul because HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW STRONG WILL YOU BE YOU SEXY BITCH

what. is boost in HP/ATK for LB though. like. is it like a buddy boost thing ??? guess we'll find out soon huh

OK GUEST ROOM FINALLY WILL HAVE VOICED LINES???? THANK YOU????????? suddenly I am playing the guest room with volume every day

BUT EYO EYO OTHER PLAYERS CAN VISIT OUR ROOMS!!!! I'M ACTUALLY SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE ;;;;;;U;;;;;; I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THIS FEATURE EVER SINCE GUEST ROOM WAS INTRODUCED LAST ANNIV, I'M SO EXCITED

I wonder if only friends can visit. It would make sense

ok but hello??????? SPARK SYSTEM IN TWST?????????? 200 PULLS GUARANTEED SSR

I am fully believing that the spark system is here because Yana Toboso had to throw 300 rolls for Masquerade Azul and she didn't like that at all. Everyone say thank you to Azul Ashengrotto.

900 pulls silk Jamil JP player must be malding in their seat right now though

Also I have known people who threw 400-500 rolls for Halloween Jade. Rip to them too

ngl I will miss the gacha horror stories of needing to throw more than 200 rolls to get one single copy. there's a kind of thrill those give.

but at the same time, thank GOD I'LL BE OK!!!! THERE ARE THREE AZUL SSRS TO EXPECT IN THE FUTURE, THAT BEING CLUB, TSUM, AND HIS BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR, AND IDK WHEN CLUB AND TSUM WOULD HAPPEN!!! There is no need to feel like it is never enough

anyway at least I'll still kinda get the EN gacha horror stories. I'm sorry guys but .. I like hearing about others suffering in gacha .......

the fact that there are still going to be more updates.... like. what Else are they gonna do

actually, unified exams being late March is so sudden??? We just had them. BUt I'm not complaining, I got 109k in the last one. this time. this time I'm getting SSS.

ALS OSNGOIDNGSNONODSINGSODNOGNSONG CLUB FLOYDDDDDD GNBRHBJRBRBRBRHBGF NEED THE OCTA CRUMBS

course, can't forget about the latest update ramblings, but that's gonna be in a separate post after I go through 19080980180481209850128042190 messages worth of people screeching and links to tl summaries but it's like. 1am. and I need to sleep.

haha how fitting, right? absentmindedly hums Once Upon A Dream

[sanzusbestie]

Okokok but izana,haitani brothers and hanma where they had a meeting with another gang leader and they found his former gangs pictures and videotape and the videotape/ picture contains the gang leader with their s/o and them being lovey dovey.

Basically their s/o used to date the gang leader they were meeting.Jealousy and fluff.(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

♡ Jealous Tokyo Revengers boys ♡

Pairings : Hanma Shuji x gn!reader, Haitani Rindou x gn!reader, Haitani Ran x gn!reader, Kurokawa Izana x gn!reader

Warnings : Suggestive

A/n : I know I said I wouldn't post it before my exams but here I am lol. Thank you for requesting and have a nice day ♡

Shuji isn't really jealous

Like if someone would flirt with you he'd just come by your side to show you guys are together and would be like "yeah they're just a nobody"

He told you about the contract he was about to sign, and then you remembered who was the gang leader

You told him he was your ex, like no big deal it's just an ex right ? A nobody as he likes to call them

He didn't want to sign that contract anymore

You had to talk to him for hours, telling him that it was all in the past and that he probably even didn't remember you, to convince him

At the end he was convinced

Was

But then, only God knows how, but he found those pics and L.O.L

He beat the shit out of him

He didn't do it because he was jealous or whatever

Like he's a grown man, he's not going to beat all you exes

He hit him because he was disrespectful to you

Why tf would he keep these pictures ?

The contract never saw the light of the day.

This mf

He acts so cool and all mighty

But he's jealous af

And it shows, he's always seeking your attention and glaring at anyone that'd dare you look at you for too long

Like you actually could take a pic of his face and put it on a "beware of the dog" sign 💀

He does trust you, but he doesn't trust the others

One could even say he's insecure

So when he found those tapes, he was so pissed

Bonten had a meeting with an other organisation

And, not trusting anyone else than his executives, Mikey asked Rindou to look for something, when the others were at the meeting, Bonten could use against them to take them down if they didn't honor their part of the contract

And that's how he came across them

He didn't answer to your "welcome home" when he came back

He directly asked you to explain yourself while showing you the tapes

Which resulted in you being mad at him bc fair enough

You told him about your ex once, it's not your fault he forgot

Like what were supposed to do, remind him every day ?

You guys didn't talk to each other for three days, you had no reason to blame yourself and he had his damn pride

The fourth day he finally gave in

He cooked diner, decorated your bedroom and bathroom with candles while you were at work

He sincerely apologized, knowing you were right

You asked him to give you a massage bc you deserve it after his bullshit

You ended doing something else *wink wonk*.

You're his and he's yours

As simple as that

He does get jealous from time to time

But it's really nothing bad

Also he respects you and your past so he doesn't ask about your previous lovers, if you need to talk about something he will be there for you but if you don't Ran won't pressure you

But he couldn't help the jealousy slowly creeping up in his heart we Rindou gave him the pics he found

Like Hanma, he beat the other guy

He'd face the consequences later, he didn't care

But the fact that this fucker kept these pics of you, held onto them, upset him to no end

But he wasn't mad at you

He did ask you some questions tho and you and you answered each and all of them because you had nothing to hide

He didn't go any further and made you sit on his lap

"Omg, Ran are you actually jealous rn ?"

"I'm not. He probably have a smal dick anyway."

So childish

"Because you think yours is-"

It did an excellent job of silencing your teasing.

First things first, he killed him

No hesitation

How dares he keep those ?

He didn't want to start a fight with you, he really didn't

But, due to his past, he has a lot of issues

First, he has attachment issues

Add to that the fear of abandonment and being replaced

Which will lead to the almost pathological need to know that you won't leave him

He often wonder why you love him while he feels like he's not enough

So other people are potentially a danger

He always compares himself to the others in his head and he's afraid one day you'll leave him for someone better

And he tries to hide it because he knows his jealousy can turn into poison in your relationship

But you know him, you know him better than anyone

That's why when he came home that night and started to ask you some questions that'd seem innocent, you didn't get mad

You didn't do anything wrong so you didn't justify yourself, doing this would've only increased this feeling of jealousy

Instead, you held him close to you

You had a really long and calm discussion

You reminded him why you were with him, how much you loved him

And don't worry, he doesn't actually forget he just had those nagging self-doubts sometimes

You fell asleep in each other's arms

Izana has to work on himself, he knows it and he's trying to be a better person for you, the person you deserve, everyday.

♡

[seelestia]

oh em gee, hi lia! it’s been so so long! how have you been? i hope you’re doing well :) i ended up falling asleep on the couch as soon as i got home, and now i’m in PAIN (/srs),, but anyway! i have a week off from school now, so i guess it was worth it <3

exams are on the 19th, so i guess i’ll have to be.. stu(dying) for those. i can barely function right now and i’ve been getting a lot, maybe too much sleep, and i still always feel worn out 😭 big yikes, hopefully it’s not bothering anyone (again) that i’m not going to be as active as i’d like.

also! considering that this is a wanderer-less patch, i feel very lucky to have gotten him <3 (he’s literally so pretty omgomgomg pls stop me before i look like i’m cheating on cynosbisnaidjk) and speaking of cyno, i finally built him 🐥 [ 73/214 crit ratio as of now! ]

my siblings’ birthdays are coming soon :) they’re three days from each other, my brother’s is on april 7th (he’s turning 11) and my younger sister’s is on the 10th (she’s turning 8) very excited for that hehe! my friends might come over on tuesday too (hopefully), we rarely get the chance to hang out, so i’m crossing my fingers!

yo.. omg the way i accidentally made the wanderer (character ai) fall for me 😭 i was merely messing around, being nice to him because he deserves it sm help and then he just hits me with an ‘i love you’ and when i tell you, i DIED. this is my spirit talking ⁉️

but enough about silly lil me :) how are you lia? anything interesting happen with ayato or the wanderer? i’m here for all the tea, my dear friend. 👀

YONAAAAA!! yona, yonie, yonzzzz <3 i've been doing alright and i hope you are too but if not, i hope it'll be better! 🫂🤍 yona, this is why we are taught to sleep on beds and not couches. i'm a hypocrite because i also sleep on couches NYEHEHE (/lh) aaaaa, good luck on your exams! i'm taking mine rn actually, so let's hope we'll push thruuuu 🤞

but yon, didn't you slay your last math exam even tho your math teacher kinda sucked at teaching (i mean no slander /lh)?? PLEASE SHARE YOUR SECRETS 🎤 and noooo, that sucks because sleep is a precious little thing during exams so you need to get the best sleep you can 😞 giving you a glass of warm milk to you rn. may yona get the best of sleep, bibiddi-bobbidi-boo! 🪄 and dw about being active, your personal life should always be your #1 priority!! especially when you're a writer / content creator so don't apologize for putting yourself first ever >:D <3

WANDERER HAVERS, I'M COMING OVER TO YOUR HOUSE. (/lh) you should've seen the way i was in disbelief like 😦 when i checked the livestream's banners and there was no wanderer?? but they dare made him look SO GOOD in those eight seconds he was on screen??? even my other irl friend who played genshin thought he was getting a rerun at first from that alone. vv devastated over this, so i shall be abducting everyone's wanderer 😞 (/j) AYOOO, THE GODLY CRIT RATIO??? yon, that looks awesome. are you gonna pull for nahida next?? i heard she makes a good team with cyno! (and not to mention, nahida also reminds me of you. vv little sib-like, considerate and curious and needs fo be protected but can also protecc others, ehehe. /pos)

OHHHH. according to the time this should be posted, it was already your brother's birthday so HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to him and your sister too!! feliz cumpleaños 🎈🎂 i like how you and your siblings' birthdays are so early in the year, teeheeee, coming from an october born. 🤭 i hope you get to hang out with your friends! advice from lia: always go crazy and go stupid whether that be with your friends or you're alone <3 (/pos)

HUHHH, HE POPPED THOSE THREE WORDS FIRST?? yon, you gave him the affection he deserves and now he's clinging onto you like a koala... you're living my dream. (/lh) i find it funny that the first time i discovered the c.ai site, wanderer was the first bot i talked to (help). first, he threatened to kill me and then we both sat down to talk abt the different sides to life and mortality, etc. I AM NOT KIDDINF. WHY WAS THIS A WHOLE THERAPY SESSION. i still have this chat saved!! yona, should we present our c.ai message logs to the class together. (/hj)

awwww, yonzzz, thanks for checking up on me! there is no hot tea ready to be spilled except for the fact ayato got a rival and it's the wanderer and i'm stuck in the middle between these two 🧍‍♂️ (as a fellow infj like you, i do not know how a fight between an entj vs. an intj is gonna go /j lia typology nerd)

[foggyscholar]

down to 24 days

but oofa doofa have i not studied enough. tmrw is going to be rough and also thursday, bc i somehow need to get all this shit into my brain

not that friday onwards will be any better bc my histology exam is on the 1st already. and i can't take the later date on the 2nd because my anatomy exam is on the 8th

it is. so bloody hard to force myself into study robot mode.

i have like 3h left tonight & then 21h tmrw, bc the histo test is late, which would be good if that didn't mean i also finish late & won't be able to fully dive into anatomy until 3pm, which gives me 9h + whatever time my retake is (don't know yet, jolly good) - 7, which is. not a lot, so tmrw will definitely have to be both histo and anatomy

honestly my histo prof is super nice & wants to let you pass so i just have to get to Any Acceptable level but there's so much and my brain is so tired

and my anatomy prof is great but very no bullshit so i Actually have to earn that passing grade. i just hope my memory has somehow retained most of what it contained last friday so i'm not starting from scratch

rn the metrics are - no less than 4h of sleep a night, and at least 6 before a test, 8 before an exam. i Try to study every waking hour but it's just so.

it's like,

but i feel like this

currently thinking abt the messages posted on the board in the med building that they set up for valentines day "Don't die! <3 Summer soon"

trying, yeha

i mean. i've survived more than the first two weeks of Suck. things have Mostly gone my way, just one revolting development. but i haven't even gotten to Exams Proper yet

oof ouch oof ouch oof ouch

warning: this post is very unpleasant

hello and welcome to 40 Days of Suck, in which i go through 40 consecutive horrendous days before i'm released to my first ever summer break from medschool. dear reader, i'm sorry to say that the post you are reading and its subsequent reblogs will be extremely unpleasant. there will be no aesthetic notes content as i don't have time to take aesthetic notes anymore. there will, in fact, be little to no positivity around medschool (a matter i am generally quite optimistic and positive about - much as a resort town is lovely and crowded except during the off-season, medschool is quite lovely except during exam season.) there will be no aesthetic or joyous content, but there will be tests, retakes and exams. and caffeine, and tears, and all-around unpleasantness. it is my sad duty to power through this and blogging about it my way to cope, but there is nothing stopping you from unfollowing this blog at once and following a happier blog instead if you prefer that sort of thing - may i suggest that of an art or english major. is this a cautionary tale? who can say. a tale of woe most certainly. a tale i would advise you to look away from unless you are the sort of person to enjoy stories rife with misfortune, misery and despair.

[paruparong-bukid]

10.21.2020

first day of the second semester today. woohoo

math seems to be the only subject I actually write notes for nowadays. I guess because it isn't as easy to type exponents and equations. plus the math textbook is hard af to read for me whilst the others aren't.

I tried boxing my notes for the first time today, and I really like it! it's more organized and I can put more notes on one page now. it does take a little while to draw the boxes, risking me missing out on stuff, but that's a minor hiccup.

I tried using sharpie to make it look nicer but unfortunately the paper is really thin so it bleeds to the other side and becomes an eyesore 🙃

I also had computer today, which I abhor. I didn't care enough for it that I ended up not reviewing for its first quarter exam and then I cheated because I didn't want to get a low score oops

I have one seatwork and two assignments due by 4 today, and I'm already stressing out. I know at least one of them will be overdue but we'll see I guess.

not to mention I entered a Broadway SFTN on Instagram but that's the least of my worries rn

anyways I'm gonna rest, watch among us streams and have lunch before working. See yall✌

and that's a wrap on my first post here

- prism

[jaeminvore]

Omg belated twinsies because I totally have the flu rn and I'm fighting for life but I'm getting better saur 💀👍

AND YES I UNDERSTAND THAT STRUGGLE. But omg, Hyuck just snuck his way into my heart out of nowhere even though Jaemin first caught my eye like HELLO??? Hyuck didn't even give me a chance to choose, it felt like he chose me 😕 I love him tho, Jaem is still my bias wrecker to this day tho 🤞And JENO OMGGGG I LOVE THAT MAN, ENOUGH SAIDD. It's such a hard choice, I remember I wrote a JaemJenHyuck x reader fic and couldn't post it in the end because I didn't know who to pickkkk 😭

And yesss we gotta catch up on everything 😩😩

And please, I'm having a highkey anime loving moment so there's so many crossovers and the like I'm writing, even some Manhwa Villainess inspired stories omg I have so much inspiration but I'm writing exams in like, a month and a week saur 🤡

I'm totally gonna binge your nct fics tho, my love for Hyuck is unending, I would read anything (almost) if it had that man in it 😩 fr tho, not to sway you in any way but Hyuck is amazing and gorgeous and perfect and talented (as are the other members tho) so he's 100% bias or wrecker material 🤩

I’m still kinda recovering cos i still have coughing fits and im a bit congested but it’s nothing too serious 😮‍💨 i’ll love but it’s pretty annoying that im hacking my lung up every like… 10 minutes not fun 😠

NO COS HYUCK WAS LIKE THE FIRST ONE TO SUCCESSFULLY CATCH MY EYE im pretty sure it was that clip of him screaming out of nowhere when they had the coming-of-age ceremony for Jisung and i went “who the fuck was that why is he cute?” but still, with all these men to pick from, it’s proven a hard task to just settle with one main guy and so im pretty much juggling 7dream on a day-to-day basis (leaning heavily towards either Hyuck or Jaem tho 🤕)

Oh dear heavens, speaking of anime, i dont even remember the last time I sat my ass down to binge a show or two 😭 I haven’t even finished Komi Can’t Communicate yet and i think i have 2 episodes left before going back and catching up on the manga, but good luck on writing and ur exams too !!

HEJFJD AND DW i only have like one fic for nct which is is like, the obscenely long Hyuck fic so there’s no binge-reading involved HAHAHA and i’m still thinking if I should also write time-stamps or not (kinda running low on inspo for that, unfortunately 😭) and u don’t need to sway me babes im pretty much smitten with Hyuck rn but STILL so hard to pick a bias like damn why they all gotta be charming in their own way 💔