#posting at midnight so my irl friends don't see this lol

[origami-butterfly]

No one understands how badly I want to be homoerotically experimented on.

[genderfluiddipshit]

Introduction Post (should've done this when I joined lol)

ABOUT ME: Call me: Ceph, Malice/Mal or Hade, i don't really care (you can call me by my handle too!) Sign: Libra sun, cancer rising, cancer moon Bday: 10/11 (mm/yy) Sexuality/Gender: see this post More info: see my carrd!! link at the bottom :3 ~~~~~ I do commissions! If you'd like one, see the website at the bottom of this post or in my bio! Current open slots: 3/3 ~~~~~ DNI LIST/I WILL BLOCK U IF YOU ARE ANY OF THESE:

the basics (no homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, ableism, etc)

You are OLDER than 25 or YOUNGER than 15. (exceptions for people i know well and irl moots)

You support All/Blue Lives Matter.

You think mental illness is something to: Mock, make fun of, imitate, make a trend, or blame on medicine (eg vaccines cause autism)

You think pronouns are a trend/dumb ("pronouns in bio? cringe" my brother in christ they are essential to most languages)

You harass me over the Midnight situation. I will read your comments, possibly respond, and then block you.

BLOG CONTENT:

a mix of sfw and nsfw (will always have community labels, i can create a tag for my stuffs if needed :3)

hyperfixation brainrot (Current brainrot is ULTRAKILL)

art (duh)

shitposts

A LOT OF SWEARING. IF YOU DONT LIKE SWEARING I DONT ADVISE BEING ON THIS BLOG.

TAGS:

#hade's eye candy -> general art

#hade's special babies -> oc/cofront content

#hade's hot honey -> spicy art (by me)

A PIECE OF ADVICE: ~ If you plan to appreciate an artist's work, REBLOGS DO MORE THAN LIKES!!! Reblogs actually get shit out there, so while likes are appreciated, reblogs are just as valuable! (and easy, might I add)

I love being there for my friends and moots, so if you would like to suggest things to make my blog a safe space, tell me or ask me!

~~~~~

LINKS:

Commissions: https://hadescommissionconsole.carrd.co/ Personal Carrd: https://hadesspot.carrd.co/ Twitter (for speaking the truth) (the truth is dick) (tumblr dont like the truth): https://x.com/gndrfluiddipsht Satan Ultrakill RP Blog: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sangria-glass ~~~~~ Crust Jacket (blinkies):

[fangirlmedstudentblog]

Watch - Rewatch Drama List

Watching:

AIRING Shows ->

• Bed Friend:

I was intrigued by the show, especially since I was promised a high heat office bl and while i have gotten glimpses of it, i absolutely have fallen in love with King's and Uea's characters! While Jade endears me more with every episode (I'm don't easily like hyper characters) and I'm loving his friendship with Uea and I'm endeared and yet worried about his tendency to do like 10 ppls work by himself.

Plus KingUea gives very PrapaiSky vibes so that's always a plus i feel!

And Net and James have sizzling chemistry together and gods Net is so handsome 😍😍

• Destiny Seeker:

I'm so sad that not only is this show NOT available on youtube, but worse, it doesn't even have official eng subs 😭 Fansubbers are gods here and I'm so grateful! I have to go gray for this one

The show has university hostels rivalry, jock vs the beauties dorms, a pining boy! (it might be requited?) and is absolutely a pulp bl that is so nice so far! Plus it gives me lots of Hana Kimi aka To the Beautiful You manga / jdrama vibes with all the hostel stuff which i always love!!!

• Midnight Museum:

Off Attaphan, the things I watch due to you being in it 😭 While i definitely like the show a lot, i REFUSE to see it when the Sun is down especially with all the jumpscares. It's also very sus between Gun's character and the Museum owner right now.

• Love Syndrome III:

I started this because i saw a post where it had the post about the actor who apparently did kick boxing irl and also has some ok fighting scenes.

I'm still confused what exactly this drama is about though as I'm still on ep 1.

• LCK LoL Spring season: I mean it's not a drama so does it count? I mean i sit listening through 2+ hours of league of legends matches each day especially with playoffs so close so it's pretty fun, especially with the eng commentators! Plus watching T1 stomp their competitors with the whole team just cooking, especially Keria and his support picks and Oner with his Lee Sin and Faker with his Azir is just 😍😍 and SO much fun to watch!

AIRED ->

None actually, surpringly. I'm saving them for later.

Re-watching:

• The King's Avatar:

This isn't a bl, but a really good cdrama with the lovely hot Yang Yang that is based on the hot chinese novel of the same name! Definitely a good watch if you're interested in esports or mmos in general!!

Also if you like gamers romancing each other in an mmorpg (het romance) i highly recommend watching loveo2o it's a pretty sweet watch, also having Yang Yang in the lead role, available on youtube with eng subs! Also has a movie adaptation of the same name.

• My School President:

Ah my beloved. I went in expecting a generic high school bl, but got a new comfort show instead. Which honestly is rare because till now I've only had 2-3 comfort series and movies because I'm VERY particular about me having something as a comfort show.

Plus the ost is a banger and i listen to it everyday. The casts voices are so good!!!! Rock and Star and Healing and Once Upon a Time on spotify WHEN

Gemini and Fourth have absolutely stolen my heart in their roles as TinnGun and LimingHeart and I'll definitely be following their careers for a long while.

• SOTUS the whole saga: It was my first BL so while i may acknowledge it may have it's faults but it's always close to my heart especially Arthrit my tsudere sweet pink milk loving man!

Looking forward to: (in no particular order)

• 23.5: InkPa in Bad Buddy had me cheering for them and MilkLove were the initial reason for my interest in this show, especially since I LOVE the concept of unknown texters to lovers, because of the sheer SCOPE!! And now I'm equally excited to see gem and fourth as north and night!!!

• Only Friends: WHEN WILL I GET MY MESSY GAY DRAMA. I need messy relationship drama and my Forcebook, Firstkhao and Neomark! Get Mark a leading role asap!

• Our Skyy 2: I'm excited for ALL of the couples that will be shown, a nice change from the first season where I only cared for KongArt. Though do have a better script for all of them because the ones in last one were kinda eh, you know.

I NEED COLLEGE BESTIES TINNGUN AND AKKAYAN IDK HOW YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN GMM BUT GET! TO! IT!

• Delusions of S2 of MSP and Heartliming focused MLC post ep 8 episodes???

• Enigma: Possibly unhinged and tattooed and leather pants wearing Win Metawin? SIGN ME TF UP

• Double Savage

• Hidden Agenda

• Cooking Crush

• Punk Spy

• Wednesday Club (I know this one is being shot right now, based on mix's ig)

• Last Twilight

• The Jungle

• The Interest

• Love Upon a Time

• Middleman's love

• The Next Prince

• Zomvivor

Yep I'm looking forward to a LOT of thai shows!

Thanks for tagging me @solana-ceae !! It was fun doing this and i had a great time!

Anyone who wishes to do this is free to do so I'm not tagging anyone, just tag me if you do!

[neowinestainedress]

anons didn’t understand why i hate jeno so i will explain… HE’S TOO PERFECT AND SWEET so i convinced myself that jeno from traitor is the same as rose colored glassed (i’m a mastermind ik)

but jokes aside i think i told you before of how much this saga is almost the same as my story so even tho jeno is perfect i can’t picture him with mc cause i associate him with my friend irl (since 95% of what you wrote happened to me) + haechan redeeming himself would be what i really wanted to happen to me lol

ALSO a girl posted a tiktok talking about traitor and it had 2500+ likes and people were saying it’s so good and idk it made me so proud cause you really deserve the hype and recognition. i really mean it when i say you’re such an amazing writer<3 (if you want to watch it the user was @/stoobfoobnoob)

ps: i’ve been screaming and crying cause midnights was so good and i could relate to the lyrics so much so i was wondering which one was your favorite song?? mine is would’ve, could’ve, should’ve (i listen to it for HOURS everyday since midnights came out) but i also really like maroon, you’re on your own, kid and the great war

+ in the previous ask i forgot to put the 💌 it was mee!!

here's the explanation to all the other outraged anons lol

you convincing yourself jeno is the same as rose colored glasses still makes me laugh so much, yes, you ARE the mastermind

yeah and i totally get you. i also think it's natural to still hope haechan will change for the better and end up with the mc, after all, it's centred on them and jeno only appeared for a little in the second story. just like it's okay to see the other side of the medal and think that she deserves someone like jeno. after all, everyone sees their personal experiences in stories so it's normal to want different things. i just hope whatever will happen will make sense and that i won't get tomatoes virtually thrown at me lmao (i fear the worst ngl)

I JUST SAW IT AND OMG???? i went on tiktok with shaky hands expecting the worst but the comments are so nice i — you have no idea how happy this made me. but you know what's the funny thing? i was really insecure about it and i can't believe so many people love this series so much and it became so popular. i'm so grateful for all the support, i love you all so much 😭

i can't believe people were/are talking shit about the album, i was expecting her worst work and i love it??? also we have the same favorite songs??? like i don't feel like i can actually pick my favorite because i keep obsessing with different ones each day but the ones you listed are the ones i love the most (with the special mention of midnight rain). a knife in the chest would hurt less than could've, would've, should've and you're on your own, kid. also every time i listen to bejeweled i think of traitor's mc, i really think that's her song, especially after enough for you

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! You recently replied to an ask I sent in about friendships and I really appreciate everything you said, but I wanna say more. Sorry if this comes across as mean or something in any way since I'm essentially turning down (idk if that's the right phrase) what all you said! But I really do appreciate everything you said!

Anyways, you mentioned that sometimes in conversations I just need to say whatever comes to mind, and that makes sense, but the problem is that nothing comes to mind. Like, I try and talk to someone and my mind just goes blank. I can't think of anything to say, and all I can think about is my stress over talking to people. It just drives me insane sometimes seeing people have conversations, and seemingly knowing what to say, while I just can't, cause I literally can't think of anything. I think I managed to maybe once, and my friend just told me that I'm bad at conversations (which they've said at least 3 times to me in the past few months).

You also mentioned that sometimes it happens to others where they message someone and it doesn't get answered for ages or the conversation doesn't last for long, but my problem is that for me, it's everytime. Literally other than with my online friend, I can't hold a proper conversation. And I know my friends can, because I hear about all these things they send eachother, and conversations they've had, and all these times they've hanged out, and it's just sucky cause I just can't have that with anyone. And I know they have group chats without me, and are always doing things without me, and it's fine, but again it feels like I don't matter as much. And I'm just tired of only being liked because I'm nice.

Like, this one is silly, but it was my birthday recently and for everyone's birthday, as soon as it hits midnight, everyone in the group chat messages happy birthday and then posts photos of them and the person on their story, but they didn't do that for me. I had one person in that group say happy birthday to me, the rest all forget (I had one person outside of that group say it too), even my friend (not in this friendship group tho) I've known since I was 4 (I'm 19 now) forgot. (And, tbh, I don't even mind as much about them forgetting anyways. And unrelated but I feel shitty over the fact that I call them my best friend since I've known then for almost my entire life, but we barely talk and I barely know much about them.) And it's not a big deal, but it's just kinda sucky too. I eventually did mention it and some apologised but some didn't (one managed to post a happy birthday for a song but they couldn't message me lol). It just again makes me feel like I matter less.

And you mentioned how I have more people I can confide in, but I don't. I've confided in people maybe 4 times at most, and I've known the majority of them for around 7 years. And one of those times, the person had to leave right after I said that I'm not doing okay, so it doesn't really count.

Sorry for complaining, I'm just tired of feeling like I don't have really any proper friendships, and that I just can't make friends. Even people I have some similarities with, I still struggle talking to, and the one irl friend that was actually fairly easy to talk to is now moving to England, so. At this point I feel like my only proper friend is my sister, and that's great, but it's not the same.

Anyways, sorry again for complaining, and thank you so much for replying to my first message, and if you reply to this one too, than thank you again! <3

Hey there,

Please don’t feel bad with saying the advice that I gave to you wasn’t really helpful in your given situation!

When it comes to not knowing what to say in conversations/ how you may start a conversation is this something that you can think of beforehand. For example, over night or throughout the days when something comes to mind, note it down. So this may be things like the weather, what you have been up to/ doing lately, making plans with possibly doing something with one of your friends. In your mind, have the conversation with yourself. How might you answer different questions or keep the conversation going. If you do this often enough and practice with yourself, it may help to trigger you when you do have actual conversations with a friend in real life. It may also help you to know what you may be able be able to say/ answer questions that may arise (by thinking about possible answers to particular questions that you may think about when thinking of them beforehand.) I know that this may make you feel silly or self-conscious to begin with, but it can also help at times if you were to practice talking about this stuff in front of a mirror, like some people do when practicing to give a speech or an oral presentation to a class or group of people.

In terms of the conversation lagging or not being given answer/ reply to a message in a timely manner, yes this can be really difficult when it happens but again you don’t always know what a person may be doing/ going through when you message them that may delay or not reply to you at all. In your situation though, when others don’t reply to you at all, would you feel comfortable in bringing this to your friends/ other people’s attention? You may not get an answer that pleases you, but it can help at times to have it out in the open and know that you have tried to address this to others and consequently tired your best to deal with this particular issue. I know that again, it may not fix/ help to improve things, but you never know unless you try, Could you try to do this if you again feel comfortable in doing so? Sorry that I don’t have much more advice than that on this issue.

I am so sorry that other people don’t wish you a happy birthday when they do so for others in your friendship group. I am proud of you for bringing this to their attention though, I know that this would not have been easy to do at all! Another idea that you could try may be to start a conversation yourself with others when it’s the day of your birthday. I know that this won’t/ doesn’t feel the same as when other people do this on their own accord/ initiate the conversation, but it may help to prompt them or even remind them that it is your birthday and that it does matter when people acknowledge that in some form. Again, I know that this isn’t the same, but at least then others will hopefully be ‘forced’ in a way (sorry I don’t know how else to quite frame it) to then hopefully wish you a happy birthday in the end.

I know how hard it can be to confide in another person and I really don’t have much more advice with that apart from suggesting that it does get easier in time and sometimes, you just have to give it a go and see how it goes. So maybe start with something small and see how it goes. And if the other person goes quiet or leaves straight after you confide in them, then try to let them know (when you can) how this impacted on you/ how it left you feeling. Unfortunately sometimes, people will react in that manner (going quiet or physically walking away) but perhaps if they were to know how hurtful this is for you (as it would be to anyone) then hopefully they will put in more of an effort in the future.

I really do hope that this has been more helpful advice for you and again please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[oceantail-oceantail]

Zeuz and Vixella talk about this clip of Illumina complimenting them (x, x)

summary: Zeuz told chat about how the first time all of them met ended up in a 3-hour-long midnight conversation, they all just clicked as friends, Zeuz said that their friendship showed in the team chemistry during MCC 17 (especially in SG), Zeuz wants to go to Canada to meet up with Fruit and Illumina IRL, He wishes the 4 of them could team again, Vixella said she cried when she listened to Illumina's compliments

(full transcript under the cut)

(italics/indented = Illumina in this clip, regular = Zeuz's stream audio)

Zeuz: Oh yeah! I saw this [video on the Reddit]. I was in Fruitberries' chat when this happened

Illumina: You know who my favorite MCC teammates are? It’s not even really close. It was Zeuz and Sasha. I talk to Zeuz and Sasha quite a bit and they’re just the coolest people ever.

Zeuz: Awww

Illumina: They’re actually like the nicest, down to Earth, the coolest people I’ve ever talked too, like genuinely.

Zeuz: I did [commented a] heart [under the reddit post]. Yeah i feel the same way about them. Literally, I would be 100% down to go to Canada and meet up with them. I would hang out with the IRL, for sure. They're super nice. I think it was like midnight, we had a 3 hour long conversation, it was our first introduction to them. They're so so nice.

Illumina: Like they tried hard at it but they’re also fun. They’re having fun but they wanted to win, you know? Just good energy, they’re just so cool!

Zeuz: That's so nice! I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before

Illumina: *thanks a sub* Yeah I’ve talked to them quite a bit. It went from team practice to genuinely enjoying talking to them, and just talking about life and stuff.

Zeuz: Yeah, it was fun I really did enjoy it

Illumina: It was just cool, they’re cool.

Zeuz: Aww that is really wholesome. Yeah I was in Fruitberries' chat and someone was like "oh my god Illumina was just talking about how much he loved teaming with you and Sasha" and so I went into his chat and I was like "Hello" and he was like "Oh Zeuz hello!" I didn't know he said this though, this is super super nice. That is really sweet. Yeah I found talking to them—Sasha and I were really nervous because—for those that don't know MCC is a massive Minecraft tournament event that happens on average once a month. And this was the first time we were split from our usual Sims team and so we didn't really know much about Fruitberries [or] Illumina and we were a bit nervous about whether they were going to be okay with—you know our track record's not that great, so we were a bit nervous on how they would react to it, but they were just absolutely SO nice. So nice. And I think that's why we did so great because I felt like we kind of got on a level were we were good friends. And I feel like when you're in that zone, you can trust people a lot like I feel like it really clicked and showed in Survival Games like we were on. And it was insane. It was really cool. If you like Minecraft please make sure to check out Fruit and Illumina. They don't post and stream as much as I'd like them to, because I actually genuinely like being in their chat. But they're both super super nice people, *jokingly* I guess Sasha's okay as well. And Illumina—they're both cracked at the game. *reading chat* Even Build Battle [Build Mart] went well? I mean, Sasha was just doing one build the whole time, I didn't want to bring it up whilst doing it but *laughs* It would have been really cool if we won, and then in All Stars we were back together. Because I was watching and I know the teams in All Stars were more of a fun thing and I would 100%—if there was an opportunity to do that again and team up with those two I would love to do it. They are great people.

[cut]

Zeuz, to Vixella: Also, did you watch what I sent you?

Vixella: Did you see my response?

Zeuz: No *reads response* Oh really?

Vixella: I literally started crying!

Zeuz: Lol, how nice is that?

Vixella: It was so sweet!

Zeuz: Yeah I was saying how nice it was to—

Vixella: Did you show your chat?

Zeuz: Yeah—how nice it was—that's what I was talking about.

Vixella: Yeah but I didn't think it was that nice!

Zeuz: Yeah I didn't think it was that nice either! Yeah it was really really sweet of Illumi—I don't think I've ever heard someone speak that highly of my in my entire life. You haven't even said something that good

Vixella: *laughs* Honestly I was like damn, I feel really good about myself now, maybe we are likeable.

Zeuz: No! *laughs* No I just think we clicked with them, I was saying how it showed that we bonded very well—

Vixella: Not even your parents?

Zeuz: Obviously our parents say nice things

Vixella: Oh yeah my mom loves me

Zeuz: That showed in our communication skills and being able to trust in what they were doing that was like a big thing.

Vixella (overlapping): Yeah

Zeuz: It's always really nice hearing that from someone

Vixella: Oh I was crying on the couch *both laugh* I was like [*muffled rest of the sentence*]