#posting after months of inactivity and in a whole new fandom lmao

[v3sperae]

a guiding hand

[witchingdream]

It's friday my dudes

Not sure who'll read this but here's a life update after 6 years of inactivity lmao

The last time I logged in was when I was 16. I'm 22 now, and one semester away from graduating university with a degree in journalism. I worked a 5 month internship at the government but tbh I'd rather make my own small business media outlet. Also I'm writing a thesis on video game journalism.

I'm still in the exact same fandoms that I left my blog with!!!! Which amazes me a lot. I've never stopped loving Touhou Project, I play it almost daily. Some new additions to my interests include Team Fortress 2, Guilty Gear and Pizza Tower.

Also I'm huge on y2k aesthetic, specially cybercore and SEGA saturn/dreamcast stuff. It's my whole personality lmao

I moved to Instagram as my main social & art platform but after 1 year and half of therapy It came to my mind that I hate it and can not stand it at all because of how social it is (I know it sounds weird but I hate seeing irl people there and i don't like it). Now I'm active on more introverted platforms like Discord and fandom facebook.

Speaking of therapy, some sad news include the fact that I'm a PTSD survivor. But everything is okay, trust me. I already finished the saddest arc of my life and I don't think it's ever coming back.

Also I'm agender now (I'm still she/her though). I've been identifying as such since 2020. And I have like. 5 indoor plants. I'm a plant mom.

I may be creating a new account to start from square one, but this one is so old that it's like a museum from when I used to be younger and a tumblr girl™

There's a lot more of stuff that I'd like to add to this post but it's way too much. Tons of stuff happens in 6 years.

So why did i log in? I'm hungry for fanart lmao

Cheers c:

[wolken-himmel]

Hi! It's been a while since I've been on tumblr, not to mention twst tumblr, but omg I used to read a lot of ur fics way back in the early days of the fandom! (crazy how it's been one year since u started posting twst fics, and two years since the game came out yet how haha oh how time flies).

Out of curiosity, u don't have to answer if u don't want to but, have u ever experienced burnout from writing for twst? U still continue to write a lot of content for it so I was wondering how u stay motivated to write for it? I've seen a lot of writers in the past kinda move on from twst and started writing for other fandoms (tho most are coming back which is great!) due to the lack of activity from the game (what w the pandemic and what not, but at least they started updating again so I'm happy for that).

Also, idk if u keep up w the current story and events, but I noticed that the fandom has kinda died down since (it's been two years tho so fair) are u worried about translations (if u need them)? I've seen a lot of translators stop translating (or it's been months since they last updated), or translating much less than bf, and while I won't hold it against them, as someone who wants to keep up w the jp game's current story and events, and prefers the fan translations (no offense to eng twst), I rly hope that the ones still translating continue to do so.

Yeahh amazing how a whole year has already passed since I posted my first twst fic here...

That's a good question. I might have experienced a little bit of burnout yes, but my inactivity mostly was bc I got busy due to school and me focusing on other projects. I was really inactive here around August to November 2021 and only became more active again in December 2021 until now. My motivation to write returned because a friend of mine wrote me a Malleus fic as a secret santa gift lmao and now the english version has me hooked.

I've seen a lot of people stop writing for twst after some time 😔 quite a few of my twst writer friends are inactive now, but I'm happy that there's a new influx of writers right now! It's not that common to see a lot of writers stay in the twst fandom for a long while from what I've seen, but I do hope that some will stick around ✨

Oof I'm so not up to date with the Ignihyde chapter since it came out when I was really busy (I've been wanting to catch up on it since forever now oof)... but yes, we really need to support fan translators! We shouldn't stop doing so just because of the official English version's release.

[melonsmessymusings]

I just want to say I ADORE Operation Red Zone. It's a refreshing look at grief and loss that I've not really encountered before and Giles definitely deserved the screen time to explore his grief over Jenny's death in more detail! It led me to wonder how you go about writing something like that and not cry every time you think about it. Did you draw off any real-life experiences or is it all research based? I'm just curious because I'd be a mess if it were me lmao :)

Aww thank you anon <3 It makes me very happy to see stuff like this to the point where I start doing laps of the living room like an excited puppy. I’ve been truly humbled by how it’s been received actually, especially after being mostly inactive in the fandom until last year.

The only tears I’ve shed when thinking about it are purely from a ‘holy shit it’s awful! I’m going to delete that bullshit!’ perspective which I’m quite proud of actually. As to my references... Most of the plot is based off my own soap opera-esque late teens. I have no issues with sharing parts of it because it was a while ago now and I don’t give a fuck, though there are some potentially triggering things so it’ll be beneath the break. Also I don’t like getting to soppy because cringe, so it won’t be too detailed...

As I’ve said many times, Giles’ grief over Jenny’s death was never addressed and it’s infuriating. Especially as he’s one of the most interesting characters and Tony Head (other than being a genuinely lovely bloke) has it well within his skillset to pull something like that off. Jenny’s death in general was all but forgotten and something that doesn’t stand out as a ‘big moment’ in the series, which is unfair because it should be. You can’t just fridge characters because you’re a douche canoe and got bored of them. Hence my need for an AU where people actually DEAL with their emotions and try to start working through them.

Personal Context: To cut a very long, depressing, quite frankly disgustingly graphic story short, my best friend was killed in a drunk driver accident just before Christmas a few years back. It made national news being so nasty, there was a GRAPHIC Facebook post from the person who was there on scene when she died that was EVERYWHERE for months, it was horrific. I was 17, had no idea what the fuck to do and was pretty much left to it because of other stuff falling apart. I was always taught that what’s done is done so there’s no point crying about it. That’s toxic and harmful behaviour, but I ended up doing worse, ‘borderline’ illegal things because who cares about consequences when the worst has already happened? That whole year or so was the first time I’d properly experienced grief.

On my Lockdown 1 Buffy Binge, Passion came about and I found myself really relating to Giles. Obviously different circumstances, but it struck a chord that previous re-watches had failed to. There was a compelling need to use my ‘spicy year from hell’ as a skeleton reference for how the Scoobies would deal with something. Essentially, it came about because I wanted to express what I’d been through, using my favourite characters so that I could give them a happy-ish ending that I didn’t get. Also, I didn’t want to make it completely doom and gloom because there’s only so much you can take and although the situation may be dire, there is always some relief, no matter how small and if you can’t laugh, you’ll cry right? It sounds stupid but it’s the honest truth. It’s not just Giles either. Other characters’ behaviours and responses are based off what I’ve witnessed. Say what you will about trauma but by god is it an education for learning about life and making you wise beyond your years. 

Of course, I do google some stuff because I’m British, so cultural differences are a massive thing that I totally underestimated. I’m still baffled by the Schooling system across the pond because like... what? I don’t remember the 90s on account for being too young, so there’s that too. And just general things because I’m dumb as fuck and know nothing about the world so I’m eager to learn. Yeah, I blagged my way through A Levels and into Law School, but do I have a functioning brain cell...? Not at all, as Em can attest.

Dunno if that answers your question but that’s where it comes from. Whack on the depressing playlist, scroll through the ol’ Facebook memories to jazz it up every now and then and we’re off... 

[sabakunoo]

New year thingy late af as usual

SO. I KNOW IM LATE. NEW YEAR WAS 3 DAYS AGO. but you’ll forgive me because you all love me ( right ?? ) anyway!! I’ve been in this fandom (on tumblr) for approximately 4 months and while I’ve got ups and downs getting into that whole tumblr business, you all have been incredible! Both my followers and my roleplay partners and anyone who ever interacted with me! I would do a follow forever list but it would be hypocritical of me since I have a toc that makes me unfollow people who are inactive after 2+ weeks (unless my biased little ass waits a month because they’re a doflamingo or another muse I REALLY enjoy) so, instead of lying and pretending I’ll never unfollow anyone, I’m gonna make a small thingy for the people I’ve met and who (bless their ass) have made my days so incredible since I joined!

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER , MY FAM, THE REAL MVPS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE LONG ASS POST.

@thesealovesme​ / @shukkou​ / @that one law blog I don’t remember the url of : I wish we interacted more mang. I love how you write your Luffy so much and the dynamic between him and Crocodile cracks me up! I also adored our interactions between Maverick and Noya :’) All in all you’re a great roleplayer and you brightened up my day so many times I can’t even count them anymore. <3

@despairforme​ / @autotoxins​ / @hisashtrayheart​ : T O B Y I love you. Your characterization ( for ALL of your muses ) is incredibly spot on and I love them all to bits. You even made me consider joining the Bleach fandom (but I’m a shy nugget and haven’t watched/ read it in years) because I love interacting with you so much. Even if we don’t do the crossover thing (because I have no idea how an encounter between Nnoi and Croc would end up in something else than a fight) I still love reading your threads on Nnoi and am on the edge of my seat waiting on your Roci and lil clown <3 I love you a lot, thanks for interacting with me <3

@ask-earlobes​ / @burger-face​ / @notarealflamingo​ / @idiothandle​ : Frankyyyyyyy I wish you had more time online but I understand rl is a bitch and we can’t just roleplay every hours of the day. Because trust me I would interact with you every hour of any day any time. You are amazing, I love your muses and your crack stuff. Enel is hilarious and so is your portrayal of Doflamingo, interacting with you is always a delight because of how humorous and lighthearted it is. Thank you and I wish you the best for 2017 <3

@nobedsidemanners​ : I know we’ve just started to interact but ever since I started following evils-champion, I’ve been reading your threads with them and I just --- can I just say that your portrayal of Law is scarily accurate? To be completely honest, Law isn’t even a character I enjoy that much in the One Piece universe, I felt like I was let down post-war and my tiny gay heart still wishes he tampered with Luffy’s body and reveal himself a villain later on ---- but that’s just me. In any case, any time I read you on my dash, my mind is blown with how in character you are. All your threads are amazing and even the one we have started I really love! If anything, you might have rekindled my interest in his character because of how great you are ( I see your Law as even better than the canon one, if that makes sense ). The insights you give about your muse are so detailed and heartfelt I cannot possibly not like your portrayal. I know we didn’t talk ooc but as far as I’m concerned, someone who writes such a « real » muse cannot be anything but awesome. Bless you, I hope you have a great year <3

@magnetiicus​ / @sadiestic​ : I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu I could write forever about how much I love your Sadie-chan but the first things that comes to mind is a loud, heavy moan because I fucking miss you on my dash. I hope life is treating you well and I can’t wait for us to interact again <3

@ask-sir-crocodile​ and all your other blogs I’m following, which I won’t list here because heavy nsfw. (okay I lied, yall should follow @jiryoku​ and @shichibukkake​ for Crocodile naked goodness. 18+ only) : Laura! I know we haven’t interacted a lot (well IC we never-) but every time we talked I was always on the edge of my seat because you are the FIRST Sir Crocodile I really enjoy (outside of mine because I’m a biased asshole) Your many blogs about him are the highlights of my days all too often and I just want to thank you for all the amazing content you provide to this fandom. Talking about theories with you is a blast and just like some others of my followers who I discuss theories with, you sometimes made me reconsider / tweak my stuff and it’s just so great? In any case, you might not be a rp blog but you totally deserve a spot on my bias list because you’re just really amazing, both IC and OOC. I look up to you a lot and I’m always MIND BLOWN with how handsome you draw that shitty character who took over my life 16 years ago. Bless you and I wish you nothing but the best. Like at least a million dollars and all the love for next year. <3

@evils-champion​ : First of all, How dare you. Your portrayal is just incredible and any time I see you replied to me I’m literally blushing like a DORK and squealing like a god damn schoolgirl who’s crush just told her she had nice braces. YOU ARE SO AMAZING hahahasdlfkjasd;lkfj. Doflamingo is my second favorite character in the serie and you characterize him so well I’m always holding my breath when I read you and then I fangirl for like 2-3 minutes before WALLS OF TEXTS appear in my mind. I always try to tone it down because I could literally write you 4 pages worth of replies with how much I love your Doflamingo.  Thank you for roleplaying with me, thank you for going with my headcanons, thank you for ??? just anything tbh. I love you so dang much okay? I hope you have nothing but the best in 2017. <3

@gravitou​ / @boneavant​ / @hellstrings​ : You have an amazing way around words and I just love to see your writing on my dash. I think you have a real talent with all of your muses too, which adds even more to your appeal as a roleplayer :) I wish we interacted more but I really enjoy seeing you on my dash and reading your stuff, on any of your blogs. Hope you have a great year <3

@shiapolux​ : I know we don’t interact a lot but I find Shia and your art to be absolutely adorable. Croc also thinks that much ;D You’re a gem in this fandom and I’m glad we talk here and there and roleplay as well. I wish you all of what you want in 2017 and then some <3

@scarlethaki​ : IM BIASED FOR UUUUUUUU. I LOVE AKANE SO MUUUUUUUUCH. That sassy piece of shiiiiiit I can’t believe how -- I mean Croc likes her????? even if he pretends not to? I told you many times, I’m not fan of characters who are related to canon but in Akane’s case I just??? completely forget about it lmao. Because her personality is so rich, so flavorful I cannot  do anything but express my love for her. Your OC is, in my opinion, one of the realest , most heartfelt original character in this fandom. Sorry, I don’t mean to depreciate anyone but I just really really really really love Akane. I love a LOT of other OCS but the dynamic between Akane and my muses is just too good for me to ignore. Even with Noya jfc. She’s the kind of character that can pretty much interact with anyone, she would be a very canon One Piece character too, in my opinion. I hope no one feels left out because I said that, my love for your muses is strong and Akane just has a special place in my heart <3

@beastyhound​ :  V A L. Val, I feel you and I are way similar in roleplays. We both have an undying love for darker themes and we both are as masochistic as sadistic with our muses. You are me, I swear. I just love to interact with you both on Croc and Noya, and I’ll probably enjoy it too when I finally get my Blackbeard blog’s going. You are an amazing writer, oh so self-indulgent but tbh there’s nothing I dislike about that. We’re both greedy for what we love and we reap what we sow and I just?? Really love you. Michi is an amazing muse and I want to applaud you for keeping him consistent. I’ve seen many « crazy » ocs in my time who were just crazy for the sake of being crazy but your portrayal is always consistent. God knows how hard it is to have a volatile muse and keep it for long but you do it with such ease ( or so it appears ! ) in your roleplays that I am literally awestruck when I read your replies. I love you so much, I hope you spend 2017 doing all the things you like <3

@missprissyperona / @ask-perona / @peronasnegativehollow​ / @sableofmany​ : PAULA im a terrible friend and I know it. I love your Perona, I love you so much but I have a hard time coming up with replies between Croc and Perona in our threads lately. Croc is just snobbing them and I hate it but I don’t want to give you half assed replies so they’re just sitting in my drafts :C Either way!!!! YOU ARE STILL, TO THIS DAY, THE MOST WELCOMING PERSON IN THIS COMMUNITY. You made me open up to the rest of everyone here because of how social and positively persistent you were in communicating with me. ( for lack of better word, persistent, because I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people but you always come talk to me, which I REALLY appreciate ) I love you a whole damn lot as well as your many blogs and muses <3

@tenaxmiles​ : I don’t have a lot to say here because we only have one thread but I really love Katey on my dash :’) Especially her interactions with Michi and Loni. Rip. Sorry Katey, you’re good angst fodder. 

@worldsmostdangerous​ : - Careless whisper plays in the distance - Ayy gurl ;D . Ah, Helena. I could ramble about how much I love your Dragon for hours. I love the way you portray this obscure character so much. There’s little about him known in canon but I’ll be really disappointed in Oda if he doesn’t base his portrayal on yours.  You gave him life and made me love him and get even more interested in the revolutionary army than I already was because of my headcanons. Bless you and I hope you get everything you want in 2017 and then some <3

@7hits​ / @salamandcr​ : SQUINTS LOUDLY AT U. Gimme the Salamandcr I love her so much. Giant girls who antagonize Crocodile are a+ in my books. LOVE ME. ( I love you ). Wish you an amazing new year <3

@chillin-at-partys-bar​ : I miss Shanks and I miss you! I hope life is treating you well and I hope we get to interact again <3 Our exchanges are either hilarious or angsty af and I love the dichotomy between the two and how the dynamic is evolving. Bless you and I wish you nothing but the best in 2017! <3

@menagerie-rp​ : May I just reiterate my love for your Rocinante? He was a character I didn’t love all that much and didn’t care for, to be honest, but your portrayal made me love him. I love the interactions we had and hope we can rp again in the near future! I know I don’t talk much OOC but just like you I’m a bit of a shy nugget. Either way, I just want to tell you that you are always welcome to interact with me and I will keep sending you memes when I see you pop on my dash because I really love your characterization and you in general <3

@alabasti​ : TRUST ME. BEST VIVI. I’ve been roleplaying Croc for over 11 years and you wouldn’t believe the number of terribly ooc vivi I’ve met in that time. ( Going to celebrate 12 years in february, with Croc as a muse ! ) ANYWAY. I’ve always been turned off to rp with Vivi in general because of all those self-inserting mary sues I’ve met and I was reluctant at first to interact with you because of that but you BRING HER TO LIFE instead of bringing your life into her, which I cannot thank you enough for. I’ve never met such a dedicated roleplayer for Vivi that aimed for something else than getting herself captured and f*cked by Croc :’) And though we have a rp that is similar to that theme, Vivi is still in character and I really, really, really appreciate that. I am interacting with a VIVI, finally, after nearly 12 years. It’s so good I want to sob. Thank you so much and I hope we can have a lot more roleplays in the future. I wish you an amazing new year <3

AND TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS ON HERE OR @aquasphyxia, I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME AND ENDORSING MY PORTRAYAL OF CROCODILE. I HOPE WE HAVE A BLAST INTERACTING IN 2017!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!