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lilacxquartz · 3 months ago

Text

FIRST IMPRESSIONS pt. 2

choso x gn!reader

ao3 • masterlist << previous part • next part >>

summary: stumbling upon a strange man while deeply lost on halloween night in the subway, you find yourself quickly in trouble.

tags/warnings: some violence, yandere, reader insert, season 2/shibuya arc references/potential spoilers

a/n: decided to continue this one after all, after this chapter you can expect one more conclusive chapter.

You stared at the man before you, unsure what to think.

In an attempt to tug back your wrist from his almost desperate hold, you found that he wasn’t letting go of you.

The air around the station started to feel thicker, heavier and almost suffocating. The flickering overhead lights were starting to make you nauseated too. The longer he held onto you, the more it seemed as though the walls around you were closing in.

Choso, as you learned the man was now called, pulled you along beside him as you both walked. While being in his presence didn’t feel immediately dangerous, you could tell that something darker was brewing within him as if there was more to him than he let on.

You occasionally looked up at him, watching him pass through the subway with a determined glint in his eyes. Even though he walked with an unwavering stride, his destination locked in mind, he couldn’t help but tighten his hold on you whenever he felt you were potentially straying away.

Such an interaction left you feeling confused as you were unsure as to why he was suddenly helping you with such drive despite the shaky first impression. You didn’t quite understand why there was so much danger down here to begin with, but his serious demeanour was convincing enough so you trusted him.

Or at least, you tried to.

“Stay close to me,” Choso murmured, keeping his voice low. His fingers tightened around your wrist, pulling you a little closer to him.

You could only nod as you tried to swallow away any fear you had. The late autumn night proved cold and stacked with the internal fear that was manifesting in your bones, leaving you almost shivering. Choso’s touch was warm though, surprisingly so, given how almost sickly pale that he looked.

Suddenly, you paused in your tracks and so did he. It felt as though you were being watched and even hunted and upon turning around, you saw a pair of people walking right behind you. Initially, you were relieved but then the longer you stared at them, the more uneasy you felt.

Recognising the confined cursed energy that coursed beneath their unimposing surface, Choso recognised those humans as Mahito’s doing. They weren’t people anymore, just abominations with a temporary cover and being what they truly were, it was no surprise that they were hunting you.

“Stay behind me,” he warned, shoving you slightly back.

Initially, you were about to protest, but then you saw as the people before you became something else completely. It all happened so fast, but their forms quickly became mangled, contorting into grotesque fusions of folded flesh. They lurched forward in a sprint towards where you stood—their movements almost clumsy and erratic—their cold, dead eyes focused right on you.

You tried to step back in an attempt to run away, unsure of what exactly you were seeing but Choso stopped you once again. With a heated growl, he spoke out a warning, “Don’t move. I’ll take care of them.”

His form shielded you from their immediate attack and you couldn’t help but feel your voice lock in your throat. You wanted to scream and ask what on earth was going on, but you couldn’t, with only shaky breaths able to escape your lips.

Choso’s body was tense with anticipation, but he acted swiftly before the now turned cursed spirits could catch up to you and cause any real damage. With a raised hand, his fingers formed a sign and shot out what looked like blood from the tips of his fingers, forming sharp scarlet spears that stabbed through the creature’s bodies, causing them both to be taken down with just one hit.

He remained still for a moment before turning back to you and taking a deep breath. His eyes were dark with tension but he forced himself to soften his stance when he looked back towards you.

“Are you okay?” he asked you, attempting to adopt a gentler tone. Choso had to remind himself that you weren’t a sorcerer, so he had to be patient with you.

You gulped down your fears, attempting to nod but your legs felt weak, as though they would give out at any second.

“I-I’m fine,” you warily stammered, barely hearing your own voice as your heart thundered in your chest, the pulsating echoing against your ears, “what… what exactly are you?”

Choso’s calm demeanour faltered for a second. That was a good question. What was he? His expression turned almost pained, as if he didn’t have a cohesive answer. He found himself stepping forward, trying to hold onto you again as a way to both comfort you but also himself.

“It’s not easy to explain,” he said with a strained tone, the flashback of his fabricated memories still fresh in his mind, “I’m not like you, I was created… not born.”

“Created…?” you repeated what he told you. “So you’re not exactly human? But you look so…”

“I’m what is called a death painting, I believe,” he replied, trying to explain it to you, thinking that maybe if he forces himself to listen to the history he recently learned then it would make it easier, but all it did was torment him. “I was formed in a womb like you, but I was never born. I was made for a… purpose, but that turned out to be a lie because I was misled by someone I thought I could trust,” his voice became more strained, almost rough with emotion, “but that doesn’t matter right now.”

You blinked, unsure how you should process the information he gave you. It was admittedly tough to digest. “It sure sounds like it matters though…”

“My focus right now is you,” he dismissed, shaking his head, “I can’t let anything happen to you, not after everything that has happened tonight.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words as he left you feeling quite strange with the implication. There was something about the way he looked at you that made you feel wary, as though you were his reason for holding on. While flattering, he was still a stranger to you and a dangerous one at that from what you had seen, so such a thought in fact scared you.

“I… I have done things,” Choso continued to speak, his voice almost trembling, “things that I regret. I almost killed someone important to me but… but, I was wrong. I was deceived…” he trailed off for a moment, his eyes locking onto yours, “I-I don’t want to be a monster, but, I’ll do whatever I can to protect you, even if it means I have to become one for your sake in the process.”

You could only stare back at him without forming an immediate response. The weight of his words were heavy, especially coming from someone you had just met. A strange feeling formed for you too, though. You knew that you should have been much more terrified than just simply scared, but there was a part of you that wanted to believe him all the same. It was as though his vulnerability had almost touched you…? It made you feel sad for him and what he was forced to do.

“I… I believe you,” you finally said.

Choso stiffened in response, both relieved but nervous all at the same time. He pulled you closer without warning, ensnaring your body in a tight, sudden hug. His arms around your body feel strong, the muscles tight around your frame but you didn’t feel as though you were in danger.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his breath rolling hot down your neck. “I’ll keep you safe, no matter what I have to do.”

You nodded, letting him hold onto you despite not having a single clue as to what was really going on and finally, after a long minute, he loosened his grip on you even if he didn’t let go of you just yet.

“We need to keep moving,” he said, his voice less intense now but still just as determined as before, “there’s still danger here but I’ll protect you.”

You nodded again, unable to form a response that time as you let him drag you forward. You don’t know exactly where it was that he was leading you, but you felt somehow bonded to this strange man who led you through the underground space. For the most part, the station seemed empty but whenever there was even a passing footstep or a slight shuffle, he would turn the corner with you and lead you somewhere else. You stayed close to him, of course, not that he would allow himself to let you go.

Something about him seemed to be changing however, his breathing slowly grew more labourers and his expression gradually turned grave. It was almost as if he was distracted, with his eyes darting around erratically, searching for something—maybe someone—that wasn’t there.

Then without a single hint of warning, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Choso…?” you tried to ask.

The death painting didn’t reply right away, still reeling from the overwhelming emotions he was experiencing. Finally though, he finally spoke up, but his voice seemed broken, “I-I… I can’t go on… n-not right now.”

His shoulders sagged as his body melted against the wall, bringing up his knees to a tented fold to his chest. Feeling unsure of what do exactly, you decided to settle down beside him, unsure if it was the correct course of action.

The fear that you felt earlier was still there, deep down in your core. However, you could at the same time understand that he was going through something that went beyond your own comprehension of understanding. You weren’t an unreasonable person. You could feel pity, even empathy for what he might have been going through; it was clear that he was struggling with something, even if you didn’t get the true extent of just how dire it truly was.

“Are you okay?” you tried to ask in a soft tone.

Choso let out a shaky breath, his voice barely audible, “I am not… I’m not okay. I don’t know how to deal with this. All of this. The guilt… the… confusion? I thought I knew what I was and what I had to do, but now nothing makes sense to me anymore.”

His words while scattered, did make at least a a shred of sense to you. You just sat beside him with your hand on his arm, even leaning a little bit. You didn’t have anything that you could say to soothe his aching heart, but you could still offer him your company.

Many minutes had since then passed and the tension in his body slowly subsided as he leaned further into your touch. His breathing was no longer laboured as he fought to regain control, but his eyes were bloodshot with tears that threatened to escape. With one look at you, he begins to cry. He did so quietly at first but then he truly let go; his weeping echoing through the confines of the (mostly) empty station as he finally let go of all the raw pain and regret that he had been holding back.

You kept at his side, offering him your quiet support that he desperately needed. A part of you still didn’t understand him and another part of you still feared him and what he might do, but you swallowed those thoughts away for now. In front of you was a broken man and despite his claims of being a monster, you could very clearly see the humanity within him and his warring struggle to hold onto it.

After what felt like forever, his cries finally seemed to subside and Choso at last wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He then turned his head to get a better look at you and although his gaze initially seemed tender—there was something else lurking beneath the surface—something darker.

“You…” he strained, reigning control of his voice once again, “you’re so kind. Too kind. Why are you still here…?”

You hesitated. Overlooking the part where he wouldn’t let you you go even if you tried to leave, you had a different reason for sticking by his side. “I don’t know… I guess I can just see that you’re trying? You don’t want to be a bad person and it’s clear.”

Choso simply stared at you with an unreadable expression written on his face but then he piped up, finally having something to say to you, “You… You don’t know how much this means to me. No one has ever treated me this way, with kindness… with compassion or with hope.”

You thought that his words were quite tragic, as you were unable to imagine such a lonely existence. It was then that you realised that something had shifted between the two of you. The way he was looking at you now, it felt much more intense than before, almost possessive. It was as if he made an internal decision in his mind and just as you were about to ask him about it, he opened up his mouth as though to stay something.

“I can’t let you go,” Choso said, his voice laced with desperation, “I need you. You’re the only thing that’s keeping me… human.”

You looked at him with some uncertainty evident in your gaze, unable to reply to the bluntness of his words.

“Look, I know that this is… sudden,” he mumbled, realising just how insane he must look to you right now, “but I can’t lose someone like you. Not now. Not ever.”

You swallowed hard as your mind raced at the implication. Just like that feeling you had before, you wanted to break free from this man and run away as far as possible. Then there was that other part of you that couldn’t deny that there was some tension between the two of you—something that dared you to stay, to see where this whole thing might lead. You knew that all of this was wrong and dangerous, but something about the way he looked at you was more convincing than anything you had ever known.

“Please,” he urged, his voice raw and almost pleading. “Please stay with me. Don’t leave. I’ll.. Ill protect you, I’ll do anything for you… just don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Once again, you looked at him unable to form an immediate response. You got it to an extent; the fear of being alone was almost incapacitating and you weren’t quite believing your own words as you spoke them, but finally you gave in, “Okay, I’ll stay.”

Choso’s eyes lit up with a strange mix of relief and almost possessive hope and it wasn’t long before you found yourself locked up in his strong arms yet again. This time his hold on you however felt stronger, almost imprisoning as though letting you go would mean the end of the world.

As you sat there, wrapped up in his embrace and secured within the confines of his taut body, you realise that once again, something had changed between the two of you. His hold on you wasn’t physical, but emotional and it was very unlikely that you were going to go home anytime soon.

It was as fate was triggered by you accidentally stumbling upon him because in the midst of it, you ended up giving something that he didn’t know he needed.

And now that he had it, he would never let you go.

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