#post s3 Keeley knows herself well enough to know she needs to turn him down!

[lunar-years]

I actually think Keeley was so brave for turning down Roy's proposal to get back together , and we don't acknowledge that enough! It's just (to me) very clear both that 1) how Roy ended things hurt her greatly and 2) the love is very much still there!! I also think Keeley maybe had this idea in her head immediately post their breakup that Roy was the wrecking ball who sent this perfect thing they had crashing down in one fell swoop. Of course she had to have known there were growing problems between them for some time, but I do think she (wrongfully) contributed *most* of those issues to him alone while imagining herself as someone fully ready for and capable of maintaining that level of serious relationship (in the sense that like, she'd convinced herself she was entirely prepared to barrel forward towards even greater commitment/an enagement/marriage etc., and Roy was the one who abandoned ship at the last moment.)

By season 3, however, time and distance and her experiences (With Jack and otherwise) have allowed her to gain a new perspective. She's come more into herself and with that, become more attuned to her wants and needs. So she's come to realize that, oh shit, she was actually no more ready than Roy was to move forward with that relationship at that time, and she in fact did contribute to its downfall even if she didn't deal the final blow.

And with all those things noted, I think it takes a lot of inner strength to recognize that even though she still very much loves him and does want to be with him again, she's not ready to jump back in with him and it wouldn't be setting them up for success to do so. Obviously she isn't perfect and there are pretty significant errs along the way (sleeping with him again while not making the terms of the shag explicit from the go being prime example number one), but it does demonstrate increased self awareness to then have her ultimately turn him down, as well as further emphasize why it was so imperative for her to turn him down.

Also, there's something about Roy not being ready when she was so sure she was ready, to by the end of s3 Roy being ready when she isn't, that is so tragic and devastating BUT also indicative of their inner growth. The door is still so very open for a future there between them, but Keeley also knows she needs more time with herself before committing to that future, and that's so brave of her to realize and voice! i wish the show had done a better job of telling that part of her story (and giving roykeeley a chance to have a proper conversation about it) but I'm glad that at least the bones were there for it.