#possibly I have shared this bit before?? I've lost track

[paperstorm]

Thanks for the tags @carlossreaders and @henrygrass!

Carlos catches his eye and there’s a funny flipping sensation immediately in TK’s stomach. He could kick himself over it and a little bit wants to stick his own head in a toilet like he’s his own childhood bully. Carlos is attractive and so what, TK internally chastised himself. Most musicians who make it are attractive. He’s sat across the table from dozens of people who are far better looking than either of them. He brushed shoulders with Beyoncé at an awards show once and had to stop himself from passing out on the spot, despite the fact that he’s never been romantically interested in women for a single second of his life.

Carlos steps around his bandmates to make his way to TK across the room. He holds his hand out, a truly maddening amount of sincerity in his humble expression as he says, “Hi, I’m Carlos. This is amazing, man, thank you so much for this opportunity.”

“TK.” He reaches out and shakes, but keeps it brief and lets it fall away quickly. “And yeah, it – wasn’t exactly my idea.”

“Oh.” The line of Carlos’s mouth flattens almost imperceptibly, but TK catches it.

“No, I just mean, I’m not really who you have to thank,” TK clarifies quickly. He wants to sulk about it. He wants to stomp his feet and raise a stink and demand they be allowed to tour with no opening act at all, just to shove it in everyone’s doubting faces when he can still put asses in the seats and money in the bank accounts of their financial backers. But it isn’t fair to make his resentment this man’s problem; none of this was his doing, either. TK reminds himself of that as if he’s a schoolteacher wagging a disapproving finger in his own head.

“Right.” Carlos nods. “Well … I mean, you could’ve said no. So thanks for giving us a chance.”

“Sure.” TK nods back at him, trying to arrange his facial features into a smile that probably ends up more of a grimace. It isn’t the truth. Billy made it very clear that TK couldn’t say no, that Carlos and his band opening was a condition of the tour existing in the first place. TK gets the sense Carlos doesn’t know that, and there is a small, bitter part of him that wants to tell him just to watch the sincerity slip off his stupid handsome face.

There’s a round of noisy laughter behind them. Carlos turns, and TK tilts his head to the side to see around his broad shoulders. He gets no clues as to what’s so funny, but he takes in the smiling faces of his band and the smiling faces of Carlos’s band and gets a pit in his stomach.

Carlos looks back at him, offering him an awkward half-smile.

“Is this your first time to New York?” TK asks, almost certainly failing to hide how much he hates small talk.

Carlos nods. “We just flew in this morning, so we haven’t really seen anything, yet.”

“What are, uh …” TK stumbles over his words and shakes his head.

The only thing Billy told them was to show up at his office to a meet-and-greet, he wonders if they’re being intentionally left in the dark about some of the other details in a way they normally wouldn’t be. TK’s usually been involved in the process of planning a tour, he’s been cc’d on emails and participated in meetings and been asked for his opinion on venues and promotional materials. This time, he has a sneaking suspicion everything was plotted out without his knowledge while he was still in rehab. Everything seems to be moving far too quickly to not have been already decided on, and TK wasn’t in on any of those decisions.

Carlos’s eyebrows raise. He looks even more like a Golden Retriever when his head tilts to one side in question, and TK presses his lips together.

“Our first show isn’t for six weeks, did they drag you guys here just to meet us, or …?”

“I think so, yeah.” Carlos answers. “And to meet with your people, I guess. Iron out the details of the contract and all that.”

“Right.” TK nods shortly. “Well … hopefully you get to see a bit of Manhattan before you head back to Texas.”

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet

@goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @whatsintheboxmh @bonheur-cafe

@reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms @lemonlyman-dotcom

@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @honeybee-taskforce

@hereghostslive @butchreyes @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh @captain-gillian

@tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter @eclectic-sassycoweyes @ditheringmind

@emsprovisions @irispurpurea @nisbanisba @corsage @chicgeekgirl89

@carlossreaders @ladytessa74

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[bigification]

Spiked

Friday,

I feel strong, but these protein shakes haven't been helping my bulk as much as I want. I'm still too skinny. Maybe I should give them more time though, I've only been taking them for a couple weeks after all. I'll try bumping it up to two a day, and I'll eat more, that should help.

I pick up my phone as I leave the gym and stare at the Grindr app. Should I? Is it fair to Dean that I keep bringing back guys to our place. This would be the fourth time this week, I think I can hold off for his sake. Anyway, I put away my phone and head back to my apartment.

"How was the workout?" Dean asked when I got home. I'm shocked, he's never really been interested in my workouts before. We used to go together before we were roommates but now that we live together, the gym is a rare activity we do apart. Besides, he hasn't really been going that much recently.

"Oh, it was good... I'm just not bulking as much as I want to." I reply.

"That must be why you got those protein shakes, huh?"

Why is he taking so much notice of this stuff now? We can share the shakes if he really wants to, he might just be trying to motivate himself to get back in the gym. But he could just ask if that's what he wants. "Ya, I'm gonna try to drink more, maybe that'll help." I say as I go to the fridge and grab one.

"That's good." Dean says in a flat tone, he usually does this when he's lost interest in a conversation.

I get distracted from the conversation anyway as I drink the shake. Something seems different about it, it's got a bit of a bitter aftertaste now. I figure it's probably just me getting tired of the taste and shrug it off.

Saturday,

I wake up in a cold sweat. This was unusual given that I get up every day at this time to go to the gym. I look to the clock and it's... 10 o'clock. Holy shit, I slept in. I'm usually at the gym by 8. I calm down a bit when I remember it's Saturday, so I have nothing to do anyway.

I roll out of bed and hobble my way to the bathroom. My head is spinning and my stomach is growling, I felt hungover. I didn't drink last night did I? I don't really remember. However, all of that leaves my mind in an instant when I look in the mirror. I rub my eyes and look again. Where do I even begin. An itchy beard now covers my face, despite the fact that I shaved yesterday morning. My sweat glistened on my distended stomach, my six pack buried under a soft bloat. My pecs are swollen and slightly rounded.

What the fuck. My mind is trying to process what's happening, but it can't. I turn to the side and see the subtle S shape in my stomach and my ass. Was it the shake? It couldn't have been, it hasn't done shit for me in weeks and now it does this! You know what, this is fine. I pinch my stomach. It's mostly bloated, just a small layer of fat, nothing I can't work off in a couple weeks. If anything this will give me a head start on my bulk.

I throw on some of my loose gym clothes that do a decent job at hiding my physique, but I still look different. I grab my gym back and try to sneak out, I don't want Dean seeing me like this. I quickly try to rush out the door, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Dean.

"I didn't know you were still home, you usually leave before I get up." He says nonchalantly.

"Oh ya... I just decided to sleep in today." I pull my bag to cover my stomach.

"Okay, have fun at the gym. Nice beard by the way, when did you decide to grow it out."

"I've just been a bit lazy with shaving it, that's all." I'm sweating buckets.

"Well it looks good, you should keep it." He smiles at me.

I can feel myself blush, so I smile and get out as quickly as possible. I chug a protein shake on the way to the gym, noting that bitter aftertaste again. It's probably nothing, I have bigger issues to deal with.

Once I start my workout, I feel pretty self conscious about my body. I know no one else could know that something is off, but I still feel off. But as the workout goes on, I start feeling more and more comfortable. I start hitting more reps than I ever have before, though cardio is a bit of a slog. It doesn't matter, I feel surprisingly great. I finish off the workout great, and flex in the mirror for a bit of a confidence boost.

I drink another shake on the way home. As I get home, Dean seems to be waiting for me. He asks how my workout was again. He's acting so weird again. I decide to spend the rest of the day out, drinking the night away. I am bulking after all.

Sunday,

I wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck, with no memory of how much I drank last night. I've never felt like this after a night out though. The more I think about it, the more my mind points me to the shakes. They have to have something to do with this. I don't have time for this right now though, I have to get to the gym.

I brush my teeth and shave, I'm shocked at the beard I grew in just two days. I try throwing on some clothes, but I feel some resistance. My largest gym shirt no longer fits, there's always a sliver of skin showing and it goes past my belly button when I reach up. My shorts fit a bit better, but they hug my ass very tight. I think I'll have to buy some new clothes on the way home.

The workout goes similarly to yesterday. I start self conscious of the fact that my belly is showing and my shorts look like they're about to rip. But the worry escapes my mind when I destroy my routine. I feel so strong.

I feel great by the time my workout ends. I head to the locker room and take off my shirt. Yeesh, I have a full on beer belly now. This is no longer just a bloat, my stomach is covered in a thick layer of fat. I didn't even know you could gain this much fat in only a couple of days, and I'm not even eating that much. And what's with the beard, I shaved this morning and it's already coming back in. Although my arms are looking massive, I could even feel my sleeves stretch from my biceps when I was working out. I stare at my belly a bit as I think about what to do.

I throw on my shirt again and head out. I pull up to a clothing store and pick out a few loose gym clothes that should fit me if I bulk even more.

"Hi, where are the change rooms." I ask an employee.

"Oh.." he pauses for a moment, looking at my belly. I notice that my shirt is riding up more than it was this morning. I instinctively cover my exposed belly with my arms and shrivel up in embarrassment.

"Just over there sir." He awkwardly points to the back of the store.

I grab a few larger clothes on the way out and leave the store as fast as humanly possible. I instinctively down another shake on the way home. Dean didn't say anything to me when I got home, but he glanced at me and then looked away. He is acting so strange.

I woke up in the middle of the night, there was a rattling coming from the kitchen. I walk out to investigate and see Dean doing something with the protein shakes. Is he secretly drinking them at night? He could just ask and I would give some to him. But I see him pour something into the shake and then close it back up again before putting them back in the fridge. What the hell? I try to think of what he could be doing. He stashes something away in the bottom of the cupboard and starts walking back to his bedroom. I quickly hide in my room until I hear his door close, and then I go back to the kitchen to investigate. I look at the protein shakes in the fridge and notice their seals have been broken, I can't believe I never noticed that. I move over to the cupboard and find a small bag with white powder in it. It looks like coke, but why the fuck would Dean put coke in my shakes. And besides, I don't think fat, muscle, and hair growth are symptoms of coke. Maybe I'll give him a taste of his own medicine. I go back to the fridge and pull out the jug of orange juice that Dean drinks every morning. I have no idea how much he put in my shakes, so I just pour a bunch in. I kind of feel like a secret agent, sneaking in a mysterious powder into his drink. I would feel worse, but he already did this to me so I'm fine ignoring my morals this time.

I head to bed, lying awake in my bed for a while. Thinking about what I just did, thinking about the results. It's making it hard to fall asleep, but I eventually do.

Monday,

I wake up feeling better than I had the past few days. I go through my normal routine, throw on my gym clothes, and grab a bite to eat. When I open the fridge, i see the orange juice and protein shakes and I'm reminded of my situation. Every morning I get a few moments of blissful ignorance before it's ripped away. I think for a bit, then grab a couple shakes and put in my bag. I'm kinda liking this new me, the strong me, and the belly is definitely growing on me. I catch my reflection in the mirror as I head out, I'm really committing to this aren't I? I ask myself as I look at the bushy beard that has engulfed my face and the belly and moobs that are unmistakable under my shirt. I smile and then head to the gym.

Every day that I spend at the gym, I get less self conscious. I almost forget about the fact that my hairy gut I exposed to the world whenever I reach up. I only care about the fact that I have been increasing the weight on my workouts every day and it feels amazing.

I take a shower and get dressed for work... Oh shit. I never bought work clothes that fit me, I'm reminded when I try in vain to button up my dress shirt. I stop by the store again and grab a couple shirts and pairs of pants. The thought of the protein shake in my car makes me think of the future, so I buy a few clothes in larger sizes too.

I barely make it to work on time. The day went by fast, but all I could remember were the stares and the comments from coworkers. "You forget to shave this morning Santa?" "Might want to lay off the doughnuts in the break room buddy." "We're concerned about your health." "Did you forget to stop bulking?" That was all I heard today. It was embarrassing at first, but it soon turned to encouraging. Each sly comment just makes me want to grow more. It honestly makes me realize how much I'm enjoying growing, and makes me even more excited to see what happens to Dean. It was hard to keep my dick in my pants today, I think the only reason no one noticed was because they were too busy staring at my gut.

I make it back home after work and dress down to my underwear first thing. Damn I am getting hairy, I run my hands through the forest of hair that has grown all over my body. As I'm doing so, an amazing idea runs through my mind. I'm gonna surprise Dean. There's no way I can hide the changes in my body regardless of how baggy my clothes are, so I'm just gonna show it off. I lay down on the couch by the front door, still only in my underwear, and I wait for him to show up.

"I'm hom- Oh hey..." Dean stutters as he sees me.

"Hey bud, what's up." I say nonchalantly.

"Just tired from work, where are your clothes?"

"I had a crazy workout today, just figured I'd air out a bit. Ever since I started this bulk, things have really taken off for me at the gym." I say while I rub my gut. In trying my best to make him uncomfortable and it seems to be working.

"Okay, well if you need me I'll be in my room." He quickly scurries into his room.

I just chuckle to myself and continue rubbing my belly. I wonder if there's any leftovers in the fridge?

Tuesday,

Same old same old. Get out of bed, get dressed, shave, grab a shake and head to the gym.

I feel so imposing at the gym now. I think I've gotten taller, because I look down on almost every now. I have a beard and a deeper voice than I used to, and not to mention the big gut and strong biceps. I'm like the biggest guy here, and people treat me like it. Women and men stare, and people tend to let me use the machines I want. I also notice myself grunting when I work out, I wonder if the entire gym can hear it. Anyway, the point is I feel amazing. This is the first day I dropped cardio because who fucking needs it, I sure don't. Now I focus purely on mass gain. I'm tired of holding back and I don't care what other people think, I want more.

I arrived at work, rocking far more confidence than I did yesterday, and people noticed. I don't care if they stare or comment, and I don't care that my dress shirt is already too small for me. People even asked me how I gained as much muscle as it did that fast. I just tell them to eat a shit ton and drink protein shakes, but maybe once the jig is up with Dean I'll ask him how to get the powder. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing some of the men at work blow up like I did. This is not the time to think about it though, it's getting hard to hide my boner at work. The only thing hiding it when I sit down is my gut.

I get home and notice Dean is home too. He must have stayed home, I wonder if it's because of the powder. He won't seem to leave his room though, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see the results.

I just decide to change into some comfortable clothes and eat my heart out. Though I'm shocked at how small my once 'baggy' clothes are. They barely fit past my stomach, and they ride up past my belly button when I lift my arms.

Fuck I'm getting fat. There is nothing hotter to me right now than the thought of my body growing. I make my way to the kitchen and grab a few more shakes and start chugging, feeling my dick harden with each gulp. I feel like a fucking pig, what has come over me. The shake is dribbling down my beard and onto my shirt, but I can't stop. Once I've had enough protein shakes for a lifetime, I stumble to my room and promptly fall asleep.

Wednesday,

I wake up in a pool of sweat, similar to a couple days ago. My mouth tastes awful and my body feels heavy. I question what happened last night as I roll myself out of bed. I drag myself to the bathroom and freeze in shock at my image in the mirror. Holy shit. I pull up my shirt to see a massive ball belly, covered in a thick layer of hair. I pull my shirt up further and see a pair of soft man tits that now lay on my gut. Every part of my body looks swollen, my arms, my hands, even my face looks puffy.

I let out a loud burp that reeks of protein shake, and suddenly I remember last. I walk to the kitchen and see six empty protein shakes on the table. I chuckle in a surprisingly deep voice before opening the fridge and grabbing a shake. I down it before getting ready to head to the gym. I put on my largest gym shirt and it only reaches halfway around my gut, I try to put on my shorts but I can't get them to cover the top of my ass crack. That's alright, I don't particularly care if anyone sees, it's their fault for looking.

I spend the day at the gym enjoying all the attention from shocked gym goers. They watch in amazement or contempt as this fatass walks around like he owns the gym.

I go to work with a similar energy, though I do have a dress shirt that still barely fits me so at least I'm not half naked going to work. My clothes still leave little to my coworkers imaginations, as I confidently strut my fatass around the office.

I get home and stand in shock as I walk through the door. Is that Dean!? Across the living room stands a morbidly obese man wearing nothing but boots, a baseball cap, and a ripped towel around his waist.

"You did this to me!" The man yells in a gruff southern accent.

"Dean, is that you?" I respond.

"Yea, you dumbass! You gave me some of that powder didn't ya." He turns to face me and reveals the damage the powder did to his body.

"Hey you did it to me first! I was only returning the favour."

"I only put I bit into your shakes, how much did'ya give me!? Look what it's done to me!" He grabs a handful of the fat on his belly, and it jiggles like jello.

"Well I didn't know how much to give you."

"And you're only s'posed to take it when you're workin out, otherwise it only grows fat and not muscle. Beside, why d'ya keep drinking it after you knew?" He asks

"Because I like me this way, it just felt good to get revenge. Why did you even do it in the first place?" I ask in return.

"Because I thought if you got fat you'd stop hooking up with so many guys, and you'd notice me. It was only s'posed to be a bit, but then you started drinkin the shakes like crazy and now look at ya." He responds in a genuine voice. I don't know what to say, so I stand silent. He grabs his phone and approaches me. "This is what I looked like 2 days ago!" He shows me a picture of himself. "I was so happy that I could finally grow a beard. Little did I know why."

"This is what I looked like yesterday." He shows me another photo. "My hair was falling out and my hairline was receding. I woke up looking like I was pregnant, and my pants couldn't fit anymore."

"I was so scared that I ate some of that powder, but I didn't know what to do, so I stayed in my room all day and drank nothing but orange juice. Then I woke up this morning as a bald 350 pound man. That's when I knew you put that powder in my orange juice." He seems frantic.

I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed him and kissed him. "I never realized how hot your accent is until now." I say as I pull away from the kiss, he smiles in return. In the moment, another terribly amazing idea comes to my head. I grab the bag of powder he had left on the table and pour some of the powder into his mouth before snorting some myself. He looks at me in shock for a moment before swallowing it. I smile before dragging his fatass to my tiny king sized bed.

Then next Monday,

I just hit 300 today. I still go to the gym everyday, so that keeps my gut from growing out of control. Though I have had some interesting conversations with my family since. But the shocked faces of my family when they see me and their concerned comments if my weight gain only fuels the fire. Though my dad seems to be the only one who says he likes the new me, says I look manlier. It's funny coming from the next fattest man in the family, only behind me of course.

The scale stopped working on Dean after last Thursday, but he has to be pushing 500. I really gave him an insane dose of that powder, and the more fat he got the less capable he was to workout and thus reduce the fat gained. He just sits around and pigs out all day now, and I wouldn't want him any other way. I usually bring home a few meals from a couple fast food restaurants for his first dinner, and when I feel up to it, I'll add a little bit of powder to his meal.

I'm also enjoying work far more. I told all the men at my work about the powder, and within a few days I was seeing results. Some became as fat as Dean by the end of the week, clearly they neglected the part where it said to workout while consuming the powder. Some look like me, with big arms and an even bigger belly. And some have just become muscle beasts, almost like they spent hours a day at the gym. I also feel more imposing at work, people respect me more, even if half of them are bigger than me now. It even helped me get a raise, which funds all of the fast food trips for Dean and I. One day I hope to be the big boss with a silver bushy beard and hulking gut that spills out of my suit.

[nomlioart]

Well.. hi again-

It's been a while since my last post and I have to say that this is a really tough time for me, but somehow I managed to still be here. There really was a lot going on in the last period, which is why my mental state was gradually getting worse and worse along with the incidents in these last months, and especially since November. Namely, I lost a really close person in my heart with whom I practically lived my entire life and one could say that theoretically I'm alone now, but I gain support from my family and many people who follow me for which I really thank you.

As for me and my activity on Tumblr, I'm ready to get back to posting. It's a comfort place for me, with which I'm strongly attached, after all, it is the first platform on which I started to participate and share my work with others. I may be less active than before but I will try to post as often as possible because I care about those who are here for me.

My content here will change a bit though, I would like to start a new chapter, post something more from myself and things that I really like to do rather than just one and the same thing that I did all the time, which doesn't mean that I'll stop posting my drawings though. My passions are not only art but also music and composing, so I could share my songs/tracks that are related to me and all of them are based on my real life experiences, just as you know, in my drawings I also add emotions and scenarios that I experienced myself.

As for drawings, I've done a few works in the last few months, so I'll start posting them maybe every day in the order I finished them, from April to today. I hope everything will be okay... this will be my new adventure. :)

As for now, I wish you all a good peaceful day/evening, and here is my silly doodle of me. Until next time! 💖

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying I don't give a shit about calorie counts?

Before I even start this, I'm going to say - if you actively have an eating disorder, please don't vote on this one. I used to have one and I know how badly ED screws with your reasoning regarding weight and food, even with other people. Onto the dilemma.

I (22M) and my friend (31F) are both on "diets" - in quotes because its a lifestyle change, but idk about her. I've drastically changed my diet, exercise, and general lifestyle for health reasons.

My friend also wanted to start dieting at the same time, and as far as I know, she just wants to lose weight. She has a healthy weight goal in mind and her methods of losing weight are healthy, basically the same as me - better foods and more exercise. Recently we talked about our goals because we both lost several pounds, and she asked me what my goal weight was. I told her I didn't have one, I might later but right now my only focus is making sure my body is in good health. She seemed to agree and the conversation moved on.

Another thing is, I recently learned that I LOVE to cook. I've been adding more veggies and spices into my diet as well - swapping french fries with marinated air-fried carrots, veggie dumplings, shredding cabbage for noodles, making my own stir fry sauce and blends, etc.

I cook for us sometimes, because I often make more than I need and I want to share my cooking with others. But she keeps asking my how many calories are in stuff. I tell her what's in the recipe and how it's made, but I honestly have no clue how many calories are in anything I make. I can tell her pretty much anything else, like it's rich in whatever vitamin, it's low cholesterol, it's a great source of iron, I used healthier alternative instead of whatever... but that's not the info she's looking for. And since a lot of my cooking is experimental, I can't look it up online. I've never noticed this to be an issue before, but I'm a bit clueless so it's possible she showed signs of being bothered by this and I just didn't notice.

It all came to a head the other day when we had dinner after our usual workout. I was charting the exercises I did that day. She asked me if I was tracking calories for the meal and started talking about her calorie tracker app. I listened to her spiel about empty calories and tracking food. When she asked if I was going to downloaded it, I laughed and said "I don't give two shits about counting calories. As long as the food is good for me I don't care." I said it light-hearted and joking bc I don't want her to think it's bad to count calories - it's just not what I'm going to do. But she got quiet and later texted me that it hurts. I explained that she can count calories if she wants, and I don't care if she does or doesn't, but it's not for me. She doesn't know about my eating disorder history and I'd rather not tell her, since that's another reason I don't count calories - I don't want to fall back on starving myself since I KNOW that's not healthy, so it's easier for me to just exclude calories from the picture entirely. Should I tell her why I don't count calories? Could I have told her that I don't care about calories in a nicer way? AITA?

Also, before anyone suggests it - she does NOT have an eating disorder. Idk why she counts calories, but she shares a lot about her life with me, and she eats plenty and eats well, and doesn't exercise excessively, just enough to stay healthy for what she wants to do.

What are these acronyms?

[dearheart42regenerated]

MOTORCITY SEASON 2 MASTERPOST

once upon a time, over 10 years ago, just a few months after the announcement that Motorcity was officially canceled...the creators of the show took pity on their heartbroken fandom and gave us several glimpses of what season 2 might have been like. they saw how much we loved Motorcity and gave us every scrap of info they could at the time, so that we could use those scraps to imagine our own personal "Season 2" - whether it continue on in our fics, our fanart, or simply our own heads.

I'm making this masterpost so that none of this material will be lost or forgotten, and so any fanartists/fic writers still hanging around today can use it for inspiration. if there's any related material I've missed, PLEASE feel free to add it in a reblog or let me know in my inbox! I want this list to be as complete as we can make it! :)

--

The Season 2 That Never Was: A Comprehensive List

Motorcity Season 2 Rough Intro "Scratch audio by our very own Chris P." (x)

-> backup download

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Season 2 Writer's Wall posted (and later deleted) by @chrisprynoski on twitter, and shared on tumblr by @peopleofmotorcity, these pictures of the writer's wall showed us a "rough sketch" of what could have been, and gave our imaginations SO many fun theories and possibilities to play with. every blurry sticky note was a treasure to us. :')

-> original tumblr posts: x x x x x x x x x x x x -> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Chris Prynoski's Fan Interview + Tumblr Q&A's this whole interview on youtube is a delight to listen to, and Part 2 in particular has some interesting bits about season 2. (skip to 17:10 for some good stuff about Texas and Chuck's backgrounds!)

-> Part 1 -> Part 2

Chris P also answered several juicy season 2 questions on tumblr. sadly his blog is deactivated now, but you can still read through all of them at the links below!

-> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Capri Chilton - Mike Chilton's long lost big sister! I can't remember where or when it was first revealed that they were considering giving Mike a secret older sister, and I haven't been able to track down the origin. that being said, when it was revealed, the fandom loved the idea so much that they begged the creators to make it canon. Chris P busted out the "magical canon stick", gave us this delightful concept sketch, and "Capri Chilton" was born!

--

The Motorcity Series Bible "To help you all understand what it is you are reading, this is the material that Titmouse used to help pitch Motorcity, and it was also a tool for writers to use when coming up with episodes to help understand who the characters were before there was any other reference. That being said, this was one of the very first documents about Motorcity, so many things have changed or evolved from these early concepts." (x)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 -> image backups -> PDF download

EDIT: the COMPLETE series bible has now been leaked by Lost Media Busters on X (Twitter) and helpfully shared by @waksworldrebooted!!

--> here is a google drive download for the full PDF file!

--

Motorcity Series Bible - Redacted Version (Pages 1, 2, 17, 19, 20) funfact: @peopleofmotorcity was the official? unofficial? tumblr blog for Motorcity, and it was run by a guy named Mac - an animator for the show who loved to tease and joke around with the fandom. before revealing the actual first 13 pages of the series bible, he posted this censored version as a prank - a mix of truth and trolling! it's up to the fandom to decide which is which. ;)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 17 19 20 -> image backups -> PDF download

--

MTV Era Motorcity Masterpost a fantastic collection of glimpses into the original pilot/pitch trailer that would evolve into the show we know and love today, found and compiled by @waksworldrebooted. "In 2000, Chris Prynoski pitched a cartoon called Motorcity. He made a card and a website promoting the show, which wouldn't see the light of day until the Walt Disney Company got their hands on it."

--> tumblr masterpost (including wayback links to the old website) --> twitter sources from Chris P himself :)

--

Motorcity Unaired Pilot - 2009 Disney Version Originally aired during Comic Con 2012, the pilot was recorded and then posted on YouTube by Allison Simmons in July of 2012, later being privatized in 2022. The video was re uploaded onto VKVideo 22 days after its original posting to YouTube and is still currently available to watch online. (x)

--> backup download --> also viewable here!

--

if I find more material, I will add it here! :)

[for-a-longlongtime]

WIP on wednesdaythursdayFriday what day is it even?

Look, these past weeks have been such a mess really - I don't know what's been fucking up my brain and ability to function (incl focusing on reading, so that probably means it's the good ol' depression), but it sucks. Nevertheless thank you so much to @romanarose @sp00kymulderr @quinnnfabrgay-writes @lotusbxtch @mountainsandmayhem

@chronically-ghosted @almostfoxglove tagging me for WIP posts over the past week - I'm really late to the party.

I wish I had a lot more done on the FFM I started last week with Frankie, but they've decided to take a break for a bit, so I'll just have to get back to that later. What I do have, entirely to blame on my non-functional brain and being out of sorts and just wanting to not think, is a new doc I started --- but that's really my NTIDK!reader and Santi (while Frankie is out of town). A lot more self-indulgent than usual, but sometimes you just really need to write Santiago brat taming the fuck out of reader.

(Jsyk this is all gonna stay consensual despite them having her picking a fight)

You glare back at Santiago, trying to shove him again. He clocks the movement though, and with a strong tug at your wrists, he makes you stumble against him, using that moment of disorientation to drag you across the room before you even realize what’s happening. You yelp as you nearly trip again, but he doesn’t even respond to it, making you stumble along with him, and then shoves you not so delicately with your back towards the wall.  The gasp that escapes from you isn’t because of pain, but surprise - your brain is barely processing how quickly and decisively he moves. Within the blink of an eye he has you pressed against that wall, your hands above your head still held tightly in his grip. He coolly looks you up and down, making sure that you didn’t get hurt, then leans in to whisper into your ear again. “What’s the matter. You want to fight? Is that what Fish lets you do when you’re in a mood like this?”

“I’m my own damn person, Garcia. Don’t need him to let me do shit.” You try to take a deep breath, calm your rapidly beating heart, but it’s too difficult - he’s too damn close, hardly any space between your bodies, and this close you can see all the flecks of grey in his hair and his beard. Smell him so clearly. The three of you slept together several times at this point, so it’s not like you haven’t been this close together… but it’s different. Especially without Frankie being around. You’ve known Santi for a few years now, have seen him under almost all possible circumstances - but the urge to literally and figuratively scratch at him now, just to provoke a response that you could respond to, is so much stronger than any reasonable thought in your head. You didn’t want pity, you wanted - goddamnit, he is right, you *do* want to fight. “Then what the fuck is your problem, hermosa?”

I've seen so many people post WIPs this week and I've lost complete track of it, so I'm not tagging anyone specifically this week -- BUT if you read this and you have something to share, please do so because I'd love it if you did!

[anameistoohard]

Hi, my name is Kassandra and recently I've become interested in systems, how they feel and how they form.

I don't think I am one but I would love to learn more about that, partially out of curiosity (I hope that's not a rude thing to say) and partially because I want to better understand others and what they go through.

Do you have any links that might help me learn more? I tried looking into ot myself but I'm not sure which sites are trustworthy and which spread false information. I was hoping you might have a better grasp on things.

Again, I'm sorry if what I said is rude, finding the right words is often hard for me. Please be assured that I have nothing but respect for you

Hi, sorry for the late answer ^_^'

I don't think I am one but I would love to learn more about that, partially out of curiosity (I hope that's not a rude thing to say) and partially because I want to better understand others and what they go through.

Not rude at all! And in fact, that mindset was exactly what led us down the path to discovering our system (I wanna make a comic about that eventually ^^)

We mentioned in our pinned post that we're not very good at keeping track of links. But I remember The Rings System on YouTube being a good jumping off point, and that they tend to link stuff in the description of their videos.

(@fleepadeep tagging you because this answers your ask too)

My main bit of advice is read the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5 and/or ICD-11 for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). As well as Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) (look at OSDD-1 specifically) in the DSM and Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder (P-DID) in the ICD. OSDD-1 and P-DID are similar just the different manuals' take on it. DID, OSDD-1, and P-DID are all types of disordered plurality.

It's important to familiarize yourself with the diagnostic criteria because it's the easiest way to know when someone's bullshiting you. People turn stuff like "DID is heavily associated with childhood trauma." into "You have to have experienced the arbitrary severity of trauma that I set in order to have DID!"

Also the DSM and ICD specifically exclude certain forms of plurality, thus acknowledging their existence. People like to claim only people with DID are "real systems". Which is demonstrably untrue. Steer clear of people who are not willing to acknowledge the existence of non disordered systems.

And just generally, if someone speaks in absolutes take what they're saying with a heavy helping of salt. People like to claim they know how plurality forms, but they don't, no one knows for sure. People take speculation and treat it as fact.

Those are some of the major pitfalls.

Oh and I'd recommend diving into the science side of things first and getting a basic understanding of things before delving into places like r/plural on Reddit. Once people start bringing their spiritual beliefs into things shit gets confusing fast. That's like, hard mode.

You need to have a basic understanding of the vocabulary used in plural spaces in order to understand what people are talking about and not get lost. But once you have that, I'd start trying to hear personal experiences from as many systems as possible. Every system is different, so you don't want to fall into the trap of thinking one person's experience is true for everyone.

Oh and if anyone has resources they'd like to share feel free.

Taylor's better at this shit. Where is she :/

-Konnor (he/him)

[thefirstknife]

Bit of left-field question, but: I'm in the middle of a deep dive on exos and reboots, and wondered about your take on something. In earlier lore I've lost track of--iirc something involving Lakshmi-2 researching the topic, I'd be indebted if anyone had a link--suggested that reboots in exos are rare and not fully understood in the present day. I figured that jibed, since it's implied in Legacy's Lament lore that a proper reboot requires fresh Alkahest, which would be hard to come by. But now the Entelechy lorebook offhandedly mentions modern exos all having been rebooted several times since the Collapse. So I'm curious if I missed something, or there's a wire crossed in loreland, about how widely known the need for reboots are/how to go about them, or if everything post-Collapse would have just been exos hitting spontaneous boots for unknown reasons. Thanks for your time!

I couldn't find any mention of it in Legacy's Lament so if you have some specific line you're thinking of, plese share! The only thing I can think of is this:

"Clovis. You, me, and every other Exo… we deserve the life we were promised. If this portal falls, and we die, we lose that life. And if we're gone, and the Vex find some other way back, humanity is doomed. So, let's shut it down. Hell, let's swallow the damn key. But the portal stays."

Elsie explaining to Banshee (at the time Clovis-43) why they can't destroy the Glassway portal; because Exos need those Vex to live. I always read this as Elsie thinking about how if their bodies are destroyed and have to be remade, they would need Alkahest again, as well as Alkahest being needed to make brand new Exos in case they are needed to fight the Vex again. I'm not sure if it relates to resets, though a possibility exists.

But generally speaking, a reboot should not require Alkahest mostly because of what Lakshmi-2 researched; she was researching Spontaneous Exo Reset Syndrome which is a rare condition that causes an Exo to reset on their own, spontaneously. Nobody knows what causes it. Here's one of my posts about it with links to others I've made about it before.

Two cases of it had an Exo spontaneously rebooting in the middle of combat and one rebooting in the middle of a journey back home in a jumpship, so it's virtually impossible that a reset requires some special equipment and Alkahest. Otherwise, it wouldn't be possible to reset like that out of nowhere, unless there's some internal mechanism that works through Alkahest. But applying new source of Alkahest shouldn't be needed, if we go by this information.

Maybe there's a way to do reset with Alkahest and maybe that reset is better, but they can be reset without it apparently. The spontaneous reboot is not really supposed to be happening and nobody knows why it does, so Exos really shouldn't be going through that a lot (and there's only a few known cases). I think there's a difference between regular resets and spontaneous Exo reset syndrome; regular resets may occur because of some sort of trauma or memory overload or something similar, while the syndrome appears to happen completely involuntarily, uncontrolled and sometimes almost lethal as it can incapacitate the person entirely.

It's still fairly unclear how resets happen and how an Exo decides to go through them. Lakshmi theorised that Lightbearers don't need resets at all because a Ghost protects them somehow which seems to hold true. I don't think we have any specific data on civilian Exos resetting. A lot of Exos needed resets back in the Golden Age while fighting on Europa, but that probably has a lot to do with combat and stress.

Still, Ada-1 is one of the two Exos that have never reset. In her case, likely because she was made in a different way in comparison with others. She doesn't seem to experience DER at all and doesn't have to mimic basic humanisms (literally has no mouth). There's only a single mention of another Exo with no resets, here, called Mist-1. They appear to be a civilian and we know nothing else about them that isn't in this tab.

How and why random civilians would need and complete their resets is I believe unknown. But the vast majority did go through them so the CE is fine on that front. Obviously tracking down the very rare individuals who haven't reset might be difficult, on top of the possibility that someone like Mist-1 may have died since. Ada-1 is a special case who wouldn't remember the Collapse because she died during.

[thethirdromana]

i've been thinking a lot about jonathan's pre-written june letters, & started wondering about travel times. if jonathan writes in a letter dated june 19th that he's setting out the next day, how long would hawkins expect it to take for him to show up back in london? it seemed from the earliest journal entries that the trip there probably took less than a week, i assume you wouldn't expect the trip back to take much longer. even when the follow-up letter dated june 29th implies that he's somehow been delayed in bistritz for quite some time, surely him not materializing by the end of the first week of july is cause for concern? mina receives the june 19th letter, forwarded by hawkins, on july 26th, surely by this point jonathan is absolutely ages overdue already, even taking into account the follow-up letter & the possibility of unexpected delays. surely the train fiend knows this! is she just not writing it down for "cannot engage with the horrors" reasons? or am i totally off the mark about how long this journey would be expected to take?

feel free not to answer this ask until mina gets the june 19th letter btw i know we're trying to avoid spoiling first-timers. i just wanted to send it while it was on my mind.

I am bad at tracking the dates, but so far as I can see, you're absolutely right. It is weird. A letter could make it from Budapest to London in two days in the 1890s, and from Bucharest to London in two and a half.

True, people travel more slowly overland than letters, then and now - there was a fun episode of Top Gear once where they raced a first class letter from the Isles of Scilly to Orkney in a sports car, and the letter won. And there's the less well-connected bit through Transylvania to contend with.

But even if Jonathan's journey has been beset by every conceivable delay, if he has sent a letter on the 19th of June saying he's leaving Castle Dracula and updated from Bistritz on the 29th, he should be home before the 26th of July. And if something has gone wrong, in most conceivable circumstances he should have written or telegraphed or something on the way. And Mina would know that.

So why does she not seem more worried about him? I think the most logical explanation is the one that you suggest - she doesn't want to engage with the horrors.

She admits it a little. She says in today's entry, "I am anxious" and "I am unhappy about Jonathan" and his letter "makes me uneasy". That all seems pretty mild, but we've already seen how much Jonathan downplays his emotions in his writing, and it seems possible that Mina does the same. (How much of this is their individual characters, and how much is just that Victorians were Like That, I'm not sure).

Maybe if she were to be entirely honest, she would write "I am scared shitless that my fiancé is dead", but she doesn't do that because a) she's a proper Victorian lady, b) she doesn't want to admit it to herself and c) the word "shitless" isn't attested before 1936 anyway. So she's putting a brave face on her considerable fears.

(There's the separate question of what the hell Mr Hawkins is doing at this point. He should be worried as well, though I think it would be entirely in keeping with typical Victorian male treatment of women not to share those concerns with Mina. Maybe there's a whole additional novel happening in parallel where he's playing @wheresjonno from his offices in Exeter, trying desperately to track down his lost clerk.)

[ominous-feychild]

all of your wips sound so cool! i'm really interested in 'soren magic puppet guardian' and 'lynsmouth's 'families',' if you mind sharing some stuff about either of those :)

Sorry for taking so long to get to this! I wanted to be able to give you a good quality answer and have either been busy with other stuff or haven't had the energy to address this yet! (To anyone wondering, this is an ask from this tag!)

Fair warning: this is going to be LOOOOOONG!

"Soren Magic Puppet Guardian"

So! This (as were all of my threads, haha) was a very on-the-nose name. Soren Ula--the dad of Freya, the MC of Sun and Shadow--is a well-renowned merchant. He owns a massive shipping company that spans most of the world, but what few know about him is that he's both an avatar (an agent of a god) and a faerie!

I've yet to explain what exactly faeries are in my writing, so I'll give a quick explanation! Faeries are almost sub-gods--powerful creatures that technically aren't even "creatures" so much as they are sentient clouds of magic. Most create physical bodies for themselves, but few leave the Faewildes and even fewer attempt to live "normal" lives.

Soren is a faerie of the ocean. Meaning, he is lowkey an actual god of oceans. In-story he's mentioned to have powerful ocean magic--that's because he is the ocean in many ways. He's just long-since taken on a human form to the point that he doesn't even feel dysmorphic in the form he lives in today (which is unheard of in faeries! They always have some aspect of "themselves" on their physical body, or they'll feel detached from and/or uncomfortable in it)!

The reason I explain this faerie business? If you haven't been able to tell, faeries are incredibly powerful creatures with both their own magic and minor reality-warping abilities within The Real World. (The Faewildes is also Real, but... not "the Real World". Just accept that for now, haha.)

(Skipping Spoilers!? 👀)

When Soren found Freya, his long-lost daughter, in Drønhals, he immediately set to getting her a home in the area. He had a vast amount of wealth from his work and he was long-since known to be an avatar of Levebol, so he had little to no problems doing so.

Except... he'd built a life in the time since he'd lost his family. He had his company, he had his work with Kieran Caron, and how many questions would be raised if he suddenly stepped down from it all?

No. As much as he wanted to stay with his daughter, it would be dangerous for him to. And as much as he'd tried hiding his involvement with Caron, it was entirely possible that people could find it out, track him down, and then find her. And she was just a little girl! Not even five!

(Yes, you are reading that correctly. Long-lost daughter. Implications of at LEAST decades passing. And yet she's not even five years old yet? 🤔🤔🤔)

No, he couldn't stay with her. He'd do anything to protect her... including practically abandon her.

Except, Soren didn't have to abandon her, even if he left to pretend everything was exactly as it was before. He still had power, even if it was nowhere as much as he used to. So he created a magic charm with a little bit of his soul in it.

Literally.

This "charm", containing both some of Soren's soul and a good bit of his magic, is capable of creating a "puppet" of sorts that's more of a semi-tangible hologram. Thanks to it having a bit of his soul (something literally only possible thanks to him being a faerie), he's able to "consciousness-switch" with it, letting him, well... be an actual guardian for his daughter.

Or, well, y'know. The closest thing to a guardian you can be when you're essentially puppeteering a robot from thousands of miles away to take care of her.

Long story short! Freya grew up with a "magic puppet guardian" of Soren that he could use to simultaneously always be by her side and, yknow... literally never be there for her. It's caused a LOT of complexes in Freya, and is also the main source of the tension in her relationship with him.

When she was younger, she liked it--it was like having her father with her at all times! And she lovesd her dad! But by her teenaged years it turned into resentment for being a sort of half-measure of his in order to "be there for her". She's actually not aware that he did it to basically minimize the likelihood of Bad People™ noticing her and going after her to hurt Soren, but... tbh it wouldn't change her feelings much on the matter if she did know.

In fairness... it's not like he was never actually there. He'd spend time with her in the form of the puppet whenever he didn't have anything else to do in His Real Body on the Slumbering Serpent (his ship). "He"/the puppet would take care of her in small ways, driven on by the small bits of his consciousness within it to carry out tasks he wished he could do. And, hey! He'd sometimes be able to stop by and spend a few days to a week in his real body whenever the trade routes allowed for it! But, yknow... didn't much make up for the fact that, besides what was essentially a zombie a majority of the time, Freya grew up completely alone (and oh boy there's more to that).

The "puppet" wasn't always active by the way--the charm could be manually disabled/enabled, and the puppet and its magic would withdraw into it as commanded. Whiiiiich is what turned into the case in Freya's mid teens, as she started getting angry with Soren and her whole situation. 😅😭

In case you were wondering! Yes, Soren could see/hear/feel/and everything else through the puppet and charm! When he wasn't "possessing" them, though, it was very faint sensations, like the tiniest of breezes across the cowlicks on your head. Freya personally wondered on more than one occasion if he ever used it to eavesdrop on her (as she ALWAYS kept it with/on her), but he never actually did.

What? He's already basically neglecting her, he didn't need to make her resent him for also invading in her personal business and giving her trust issues!

(Don't worry, though, she got those anyways. 😙👌)

Don't get me wrong--he didn't avoid eavesdropping just because he didn't want to give her trust issues. (Just.)

He also did it as a sign of respect for his daughter! Y'know, because he loves her!

Note: Freya lost the charm at sea during the shipwreck that destroyed the Slumbering Serpent in the first chapter of Sun and Shadow. Who knows where it is now, what will come of it, or if it'll ever appear elsewhere again?

I mean, probably not, right? After all, it got lost at sea! It would be ridiculous for it to end up on land!

... like Freya did. 🤔

Aaaaaand... I think that about does it for "Soren Magic Puppet Guardian"! 😄

This was a LOT, so I think I'm actually going to leave this post here, haha. If you'd also like to hear about Lynsmouth's "Families", please send me another ask! Hope you enjoyed reading and/or that this was as satisfying as you hoped it would be! 😊

Divider from @cafekitsune

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP! Do you think the backlash to Set Me Free Pt2 is going to negatively impact Jimin’s solo career at all? I knew antis were going to bark, but I’m honestly taken aback by how widespread the hate is, to the point it’s making it back to the people who worked with him. I’m also seeing streams and sales drop a bit more than I was expecting. Now looking at places like Reddit, the hype for his album has really dropped. That’s probably a terrible place to gauge reaction, but it does have me a bit worried. I know the negativity for like Dynamite was really bad, but that was a song catered to the GP with the entire weight of all of ARMY behind it, and Jimin definitely doesn’t have that, so I’m worried this negativity will actually impact him. (The song is a straight up masterpiece to me btw, my sincerest hope is that he gets some critical recognition for it, or recognition from opinions he cares about. I really want to see him keep experimenting with music like this and to know how much so many of us love it!)

***

Hi Anon,

This is the last ask I'll respond to on this topic, because though I don't share the same fear, I recognize many of you feel nervous right now for understandable reasons and I don't want to dismiss your concerns outright.

Story time.

D-2 by Agust D was released on May 22, 2020. Right away the mixtape was a hit in the fandom and most ARMYs (not all, it's a solo project after all) supported it. As soon as it was released, k-pop stans went to work and I honestly found it amusing how methodical they were: they started from the top of the tracklist to the bottom - they first claimed Moonlight was plagiarized, the accusation didn't stick; then they claimed Daechwita was plagiarized, that too didn't stick. Then they got to the third track What Do You Think, and they hit the jackpot. You see, the initial recording of WDYT included a sampled excerpt of Jim Jones' speech, and once that was discovered, it was like hate bomb went off lol. The hate, ridicule, and bad faith was so intense and so widespread, I recall many ARMYs had to deactivate their accounts. Before long, k-pop stans were claiming Yoongi had told an insider that he wanted to kill black people and queer Korean people...

Anyway the point is, the backlash on Yoongi was swift, brutal, and harsh, understandably. Jim Jones has been sampled several times in music, in fact Post Malone put out an album around that time that explicitly referenced Jonestown, and it's very likely Yoongi or the people in his team were inspired by Post Malone's album and sought to include a similar feel and connection in his mixtape. In fact Agust D's Set Me Free directly pulls sonically from the album. But as with all things k-pop, cultural references get lost in translation and the weight of that decision was significant in the aftermath. BigHit released a statement and apology, and the song was re-released without the sample.

Now we're in March 2023, do you think this event negatively affected Yoongi's solo projects and career? Perhaps it did, k-pop stans still fume that Yoongi never apologized nor accepted blame for it, but by the end of 2020 I saw no indication Yoongi had been worse off for it. Partly because of ARMYs' support, but mostly because k-pop stans had gotten their pound of flesh with a humbling and an apology, and had moved on to the next target for critical discourse (which funnily enough was Dynamite by BTS).

It sounds crude and cynical to say it like this, and it's possible I could be wrong, but I've observed this pattern too many times over too many years for me to think otherwise.

Hopefully I don't have to say this more than once, but please listen when I tell you that so long as a project comes from a BTS member, the default inclination of most k-pop stans is to hate it. Nearly all the hate you're seeing for Jimin's Set Me Free Pt 2 was nearly guaranteed to begin with, the autotune just made it easy as the excuse. I mean, there's a whole subset of k-pop fandoms who believe he can't sing despite years of proof to the contrary. Since 2018 (precisely after BTS was awarded the Cultural Order of Merit award), the best case scenario from k-pop stans towards music released by BTS, is for them to ignore it. If you're expecting any other reaction from k-pop stans besides avoidance or hate, you're hoping for too much. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal, but I do think you need to calibrate your expectations to the reality of the environment you're in. It's one reason ARMYs are so fervent in their support of BTS.

There are differences between Yoongi's case and Jimin's. Firstly, Yoongi was already a respected producer outside of traditional k-pop and had avenues besides idol music to further that work, while Jimin appears to want to operate as a k-pop idol firmly within this system which requires winning over and maintaining the support of k-pop stans. So in a nutshell, Jimin is more exposed to the fickleness of k-pop stans than Yoongi is, but at the same time, Jimin does appear to have a larger committed base of solo fans than Yoongi, so let's say most of that risk cancels out for now.

The solo era also complicates things because the biggest antis of the members, are akgaes of other members. In Chapter 2 the support for each member from the fandom is more fractured now, that's true. But I think going by Jimin's case at least, the core of the fandom is still firmly supportive of their projects.

If you're still concerned, what can you do?

Remember that a lot of what you see online doesn't translate into real life. As an example, when a portion of RUN BTS (the song) was leaked last year, k-pop fans were tearing it down, saying it sounded like crap and was autotuned to death. By the end of 2022, k-pop stans were saying RUN BTS should have been the title track for Proof, that it was one of the best songs released by BTS and the song showed up in multiple stans' Spotify Wrapped...

Remember that most of these people hate as a hobby and are content to simply kick up a stink before moving on to the next thing. And in k-pop that typically happens in a matter of weeks.

Remember that your own view ultimately matters most. How do you feel about Set Me Free Pt 2? What do you like and dislike about it? How do you feel about the ideas Jimin is communicating in his song? I've said before that hate is contagious. All it does is inspire more of the same. You can counteract that spread by focusing on the music and the artist. Celebrate Jimin and the bits about him and his music that you love. Joy is infectious too, and if you're feeling his sound, people will notice. And more importantly, you'll be happier and less worried.

Like with previous solo releases, ARMYs might hit or miss their goals. There's a lot about the charts that have changed since 2021, leaving a lot of it up to chance, unfortunately. I suggest you focus on doing your part. The fandom isn't trying to sabotage Jimin, and Jimin is not releasing music to get specific chart placements to begin with. ARMYs will support as best they can, panic-buy at the last minute (lol), and Jimin will still succeed regardless of the outcome. He has already made his mark. I'm not saying this to placate you, that's what I genuinely think.

If you'd like more gp support, then share his music with those around you. Jimin's a great artist and I'm convinced anyone who listens to him without prejudice will be intrigued at the very least. They might not like his sound or his voice, but he will leave an impression. Your enthusiasm will too. And many times that's more than enough.

*

With Like Crazy's release this Friday, if it's a conventional pop track, expect a rebound in reactions from k-pop stans. I expect many to say things like 'he should've released this first' or something to that effect. That too has a playbook but I've rambled enough already.

What I'm trying to say is, Jimin isn't new to hate. Unfortunately, I suspect he knows, more than anyone else, the backlash he was likely to receive putting out a song like that. And that makes the song all the more powerful and perfect in my mind. In my initial review of Set Me Free Pt 2 I said I wasn't going to talk about the lyrics and message, and I still won't. All I'll say is I think it's a good idea to take Jimin seriously. There's nothing to be gained fretting about k-pop stans, focus instead on Jimin. He's worked too hard and already done such a phenomenal job, for any of us to be distracted by something as inconsequential as k-pop stan chatter.

It's only March. We still have the rest of the year and further out to leave an impact with his music.

In my opinion.

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Wednesday Game

Tagged by @wannab-urs @frenchiereading @megamindsecretlair @pedroshotwifey

Thank you all tagging me 🥰 You all know I always have ideas, the problem is usually follow through. 😂 and completion.

Step one: Post snippets of the fics you're working on (can be a summary if there's no snippet)

Step two: put them in a poll and let people vote on which one you should work on, then prioritize the one with the most votes.

Step three: Ask me about my WIPs! I've got lots of lore to share + more snippets, etc.

My March Spring Prompts! I’m really enjoying doing them this month. I’ve been trying to include as many different Pedro and Oscar characters as possible with some connecting drabbles. 🥰

A sample of part two of "The Lake between Us" (Thank you all for enjoying part one, I didn't quite expect such a response for it. Should I make a tag list for it? 🤔) Ezra AU x plus size OFC - name in future parts:

Things were tenuous at first but they worked out she’s to call him ‘Uncle’ or Mr. Ezra. It worked better in social situations and she became his little ‘Birdie.’ Scaling down the jobs he took on to mitigate risk was a challenge and were worth less but he had to live not only for himself now. The pair moved around some before he enrolled her in school in Louisiana but ensured that he taught her when she came home in the evenings and on the weekends. The child hated the extra lesions, but it enabled her to be leagues ahead of her peers as far as studies went. Ezra was determined not to suffer another fool and would do what he could so that Cee wouldn’t follow in her father’s steps of idiocy. The results of his care, diligence and support was realized at both her high school graduation which he had never imagined attending anyone’s graduation except his own and to travel with his charge to see the college she’d chosen.

Nuestras canciones (Our Songs) Santiago Garcia x Amalia (plus size OFC) @reallyrallyauthor liked my Santiago spring prompt for today so I felt motivated to finally write another part to this mini-series:

Santiago saw a woman by herself lost in the music, the glow from her skin from perspiration. He didn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t make his way over to her so he did, but he waited until she opened her eyes again and was surprised by him. She laughed and apologized where he told her there was no reason to. Holding his hands out, she peered down and slid her fingers along his palms. The last song died down and the next started, it was slower, sensual, intimate. Garcia interlocked his fingers with hers as they moved back and forth, step by step. His eyes met hers, pulling one of her hands toward him and placing it on his shoulder. His palm found a place on her hip as his lips skimmed her forearm up to her shoulder, pulling her closer. They didn’t say anything as they moved in sync. Once the music ended this time, they stepped outside so they could hear each other speak. By the time they finally exchanged phone numbers, the club was emptying out and Amalia looked toward her friends as did Santiago. The pair had spoken about the dancing, club, food, drinks, if they were single, music and a few bad jokes. Well, between the both of them, quite a few bad jokes. 

My third WIP is one that I choose to blame @mysterious-moonstruck-musings since she fancies herself a sweet Dieter. So I gotta deliver because this is what she wants apparently. 🤭 I have vibes and two paragraphs at this point. Basically, you meet Dieter through one of his PA (because he's got 4 or 5 personal assistants who keeps track?) and he finds drawn to you? Was it crocs? Was it pizza? Was it a two am dance party to Paramore and Linkin Park? Maybe it was all of them or something else entirely? I'll work it out.

My last WIP is one I've been kicking around for a bit. It's a WIP I have with Marcus Pike. I've been dabbling him after a shooting or passing his firearm recertification exam and having PTSD (because I haven't tortured a Pedro character recently 👀) This one is also vibes, still working it out. I started mentioning therapy in my March prompts and it snowballed into this WIP.

This is what I have this week. Poor Javi G's outline still isn't vibing with me. I am going to figure it out though. 😭

Let me know if you have any questions about any of them. 🤗

NPT: @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @morallyinept @inept-the-magnificent @covetyou @chronically-ghosted @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @gemmahale @schnarfer @romanarose @perotovar @soft-girl-musings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @tinytinymenace @alltheglitterandtheroar @drawingdroid @yourcoolauntie @trulybetty @hannibals-favourite-meal @thefrogdalorian @gasolinerainbowpuddles

[slashingdisneypasta]

I've been in a musical mood since I moved into my apartment (Seriously, there's something very satisfying about playing these Broadway songs out loud in your own living room (when my roommate left of course)), and seeing your dark Musical AU Post made me think of musical AU's for my... Oof countless ships 😅 of course you don't have to worry about answering ^^

Smarty-Pop • Phantom of the Opera AU

I have not known peace ever since you briefly mentioned their Erik/Christine dynamic in my sad Smarty-Pop ending drabble, and i mean that in a positive way XD and this gave me the perfect opportunity to explore an actual AU.

I'm thinking maybe Poppy can play a little bit of Madam Giry's role too, being the only one who knows the Phantom's secrets, the only calm one when the Phantom of the Opera strikes and possibly even delivering messages to the opera managers for Smartass. And unlike with the OG story, I like to imagine them in an already established relationship here- just, you know, a little secretive since it's the phantom we're talking about.

It's not uncommon for Poppy to go disappear down in the depths of the Opera House, whether it be through her mirror or one of the trap doors. And if one were to look through her dressing room, you could find many pink roses in various stages of wilt, and letters personally addressed to her written in the same colored ink. She claims she doesn't know who sends her them, but her dreamy smile shows more than just flattery. She leaves her own notes for Smartass as well, leaving them in loge #5 just before a show begins. Just sweet love letters only for his eyes.

No, they don't always agree. Poppy has lost track of how many times she's stormed down to Smartass' domain after something he most certainly did, and all the attention and admirers she had been gaining as her stardom rose have been dangerously grating Smartass' nerves. But at the end of each night, she is his, and he is hers. As it should be.

(Yeah this is partially me venting how i think a Christine x Phantom relationship would have turned out if it was the canon ending XD Also I'd like to point out that you said yandere Snartass might make his S/O marry him, which also correlates with the phantom trying to force Christine's hand. That is totally not going to become part of the Smarty-pop AU) thought XD

Greasypop • Dracula AU

I did struggle with Greasypop admittedly, but then I heard the song Please don't Make Me Love You from the soundtrack and I could not get this dynamic for this ship out of my head. Besides, it gives me an excuse to use the Vampire or the Monster AU XD No matter how you slice it, Dracula is pretty manipulative when you think about it. Especially with how he convinces Mina that Lucy's death was not his doing, which does fit Greasy's more manipulative nature... Not to mention that it'd be his fantasy to have as many hotties as Dracula did 😅

I'm just imagining vampire/incubus Greasy shows up into town, looking to plant his roots here for a while, and Poppy is one of his targets. Poppy can tell that something isn't quite right with him, even when he offers her comfort after she reads about yet another attack in the night. There's just something not right with Greasy.

But even so, she's having a hard time denying what he does to her. Just like how theres something about him that isn't quite right, there's something about him that makes her head feel dizzy. Something that let's his touch linger on her shoulder or arm before she snaps back to her senses. Something that makes her wish those evenings when he shows up unannounced and they wind up sharing a meal together don't end. It's like her heart is trying to give itself to Greasy, and her mind is trying to keep her grounded in reality.

It's not long before she breaks down, feeling like she's being driven mad, and just asks her friend- if he can even be called that- what he wants. She knows Greasy is not who he says he is, and she knows there has to be a reason he keeps coming back to her even though she's made it clear she doesn't want a man right now. Something tells her she doesn't want to know the truth, and yet another something tells her she wouldn't care.

But either way, no matter what, Poppy knows one thing for certain. Her heart can't take much more of this. And she didn't want it to. She doesn't want someone to come around and ruin this tranquility she's built for herself just for his own fun. So she asks, practically begs him, to just don't make her fall in love with him. Don't make her chase after him if he had no intentions of keeping her. Her instincts tell her that this is a terrible idea, that she should have slammed the door on the Spaniard long ago as she locked eyes with him.

But there was just something about him that made her love him.

(Not exactly the Dracula route I meant, I'm still working on it, but I hope it's still fun to read XD)

Peezy • Little Shop of Horrors AU

Ok ok I know this may not sound right but hear me out- Poppy x Wheezy are the most wholesome of the ships, kind of like how Audrey and Symore are wholesome. And also share the fact that Poppy/Audrey still see Wheezy/Seymore as such a good person deep down despite knowing or finding out the things they've done. Not to mention that Wheezy would treat Poppy right just like how Seymore would for Audrey.

Poppy and Wheezy work together in the same flower shop, and they both would agree that they are the high lights of each others work day. It's not exactly hidden that the two have feelings for each other- as their boss blatantly told Wheezy that he knew he thought things about the sweet girl. Though for many reasons, one of which is Poppy's horrid boyfriend Ben, they aren't together.

It was always heart-wrenching and rage inducing whenever Poppy would come in with fresh tears in her eyes, or when she would brush it off as just 'typical relationship struggles'. Wheezy has tried to just keep it to himself, and offer Poppy any comfort she needs. Though the night he got to actually see how that bastard treated her, he decided enough was enough. That bloodthirsty plant was the one who suggested it, but it's not like this wasn't a long time coming anyway.

The next morning, when Poppy is crying out of guilt rather than heartbreak, Wheezy keeps a cool head as he wraps an ashy arm around her and assures her that she shouldn't waste another second on that boy. He was never worth it, not if he couldn't appreciate what he had. Everything is alright now...

(... This was meant to be more fluffy, as fluffy as the original was, but it turned out a bit more manipulative than I intended at the end? I think? 😅 but hey, no one's gonna miss Ben either way-)

Pocho • Sweeny Todd AU

This one is special because here, Poppy is playing the role of Anthony, and Psycho Johanna. Specifically, I'm imagining the part of the play where Johanna is stuck in the asylum and Anthony is trying to break her free. Poppy in the Tiny-Tots AU is trying to set her friend and love free the second she finds out about him being locked away. Even if she has to employ the help of criminals to get him out.

Or, if we want more horror, Psycho is Sweeny, and Poppy is Lucy. Falsely accused of crimes he didn't commit just so the accuser could take his wife. Despite the fight he put up, Psycho and Poppy were separated, and she... Got hurt badly. And Psycho only finds out later when he comes back, now driven over the edge of sanity after all these years. And now, it's time for revenge.

Popshine • The Count of Monte Cristo AU

Another odd choice, I know. I almost gave this AU to Peezy in fact, but... Honestly I don't have too good of an excuse, I just want Shiny to sing Hell to Your Doorstep.

Also, just- can you imagine these girls using threads from their clothes in placement of engagement rings?? Shiny coming back years later, a shell of her former self but still being in love with Poppy despite how angry she is?? Poppy recognizing her immediately despite all that's happened and does her best to convince Shiny she still loves her???? My heart-

(Also I have a strong lesbian need to imagine Shiny in count clothes-)

Griny • Bonnie and Clyde AU

C'mon, how was this not going to be them?? Now granted, the only song I know from that musical is Buck you're going Back to Jail, but I do know the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

Shiny and Greasy would absolutely be criminal lovers on the run if it was just them. They would be such an infamous duo on the road, as they both can get mean when they need to.

(I would add more details to this, but I've been working on this ask for literal hours and I can't just save it as a draft so I'm trying to finish this 😅)

Bonus! Kingston X Poppy • Heathers AU

Ok ok ok I'm not sure if this musical would fit them honestly. Mainly because Kingston is your OC and you have broader musical knowledge than I do, so you know what would fit Kingston best. I just like the idea of Kingston singing I was Meant to Be Yours while Poppy is panicking in a closet.

What Musical would you say fits these two best, if you want to add onto this?

This is a very long ask, I apologize 😅 but I hope it's fun to read! ^^

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH OKAY

Smarty Pop Phantom of the Opera AU: I love how you set this up!! Pink roses at different stages of wilt? Poppy reading 'secret admirer' letters with a dreamy smile?? Ahhhhhhhhh

Greasy Pop Dracula AU: Ooooooh i love this.

please just dont make me fall in love with you, poppy breathes, heavy eyelids tired with life hanging heavy over her pretty eyes. Greasy's in her bedroom (vaguely she notices that he looks caught, for a moment. Eyes a smidge rounder and stock-still). She was sleeping until she had a bad feeling and woke- and saw him there. She should be terrified, she should try to run. She knows this. And yet she feels overwhelmingly calm, even with his wolf-like smile on her in the enclosed space; sleepiness from just a moment ago acting like a sedative. That, and that thing about Greasy that... always just makes everything go s l o w, around her.

(her will, her instincts to get away, her common sense, her movements... )

his smirk in the dark is definitely a warning as he straightens up, the sharp glint of his teeth making her feel a primal discomfort- almost fear.

i make no promises, hermosa. go back to sleep now. and in the morning try to resist; id like to see you try~

goodnight.

poppy watches the nightmare disappear swiftly, inhumanly gracefully, out her open window and only once he's gone- does she start to feel scared.

Peezy Little Shop of Horrors AU: I LOVE THE IDEA OF WHEEZY AND AUDREY II INTERACTING XDD I JUST KNOW IT WOULD BE GREAT XDD Also also-- Wheezy calling Ben 'boy'??? Sarah do you want me dead????? XD

Pocho Sweeney Todd AU: Ahhh, I love how you twisted this one around!! And the second one- woah XD Psycho is, of course, a great Sweeney. Plus they have kids so that works out, too (Imagine Turpin in this sent Percy away to boarding school or something, but kept Penny) I have to admit though that when I first saw the title here I thought Poppy was gonna be Joanna and Psycho was gonna be Anthony- and I thought, Rena would make a g r e a t Judge Turpin 😏 (i'm sorry, i'm thinking about rena in the turpin costume now XD the tight pants?? whoops- )

Griny Bonnie & Clyde AU: I LOVE BONNE & CLYDE I'M LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW. And- obviously- yes, this is absolutely perfect XD

Popshine Count of Monte Cristo AU: 🥺💕🥺💕🥺💕

(Also I'm very happy we both have the urge to put our mean bisexual oc's in periodwear XXD )

*just after they conspired to break greays outta jail*:

Seeing you mention You're Going Back To Jail though made me think XDD- who would Buck and Blanche? XDD Buck, Clydes brother who also broke outta prison and Blance, Buck's hardass wife who 's snide towards Clyde and Bonnie and sends her husband back to jail so they can one day be happy? XD My vote is for Jane Doe and Wheezy XD Can you imagine Wheezy gettin' told by his girl to turn his ass back the hell in??? 'what the hell are you talkin' about!??' *audible panic in his tone*

Bye, baby~

See you soon, sugar~

Kingston and Poppy Heathers AU: Oooooh, I could totally see this in the Highschool AU! XD

Hmmmmm, which musical AU should I go dor with King and Poppy... I donno, but I'm thinkin a Beetlejuice AU for Poppy and Rena XD Poppy is Adam (Or Lydia more like. But like grown adult Lydia who gets just as uncomfy as Adam does.), of course, and Rena is BJ XDDD Rena is such a gross femme fatale XD

I think we're a perfect fit, lets make out a bit-

Bigger, further, harder-

C'mon, drop your panties, I'm trynna fill you with wisdom and skill and the instinct to kill-

Gotta haunt til it hurts through the night~

etc

[brushstrokesapocalyptic]

Hi there! Would it be alright to ask about what your plans for the bnha magical girl were? No need to answer this if you still plan on going back to it ofc, but its been a few years since it updated and I know you mentioned in the past you had the general gist of it planned out, so I'm curious about where it would've gone from where you left off. Thank you for writing it btw, its still one of my favorite bnha fics to read :D

Mmmmmmmmm yeah at this point I don't think I'm ever going back to it. It's unfortunate, because I had some pretty extensive notes and a whole ~twist~ planned, and I figured my attention would circle back to BNHA someday, but it just never happened! So sure, I can give a loose summary of what I had planned.

I will say before I get into it that, like some other stories I've started in the past, it fell into a trap that I like to call "Canon But A Bit To The Left" which, as the name suggests, is a fanfic that's basically the exact same story as canon just with some superficial details changed. That's a big part of why I lost momentum, once I reached the part of the series that would've just been retelling canon events but with magical girls— I tried to get creative with it, but nothing fundamentally changed, so it wasn't all that much fun. As such, I'll primarily be focusing on what's actually different/The Twist, because that's what's fun to explain.

So! The twist is that Izuku has a quirk. It's the ability to grant Magical Girl Transformation Objects. He does not know he has this quirk, he's doing it completely subconsciously.

His own Transformation Pen manifested out of nowhere when he was like 4 years old, and it sat in a drawer somewhere until he rediscovered it. The general theme of the other people getting their pens is that something they did impressed Izuku somehow, causing him to subconsciously go "yeah this person is worthy of Power"— Uraraka fights a goose, Todoroki catches a mugger with his ice, and other stuff.

According to my notes, the plan was for Iida to get a pen too, during the Stain incident. Iida would refuse to have any part of the whole Magica stuff, though, because that's ILLEGAL. Izuku figures out that it's a quirk sometime before/during the whole training camp thing, and uses it intentionally for the first time as part of a plan to rescue Bakugou— he can sorta sense where his "chosen" are, or at least their pens.

I went back and forth on whether Bakugou has had a pen all along or if Izuku granted him a pen on the spot; I swear I had foreshadowing indicating Bakugou had one all along but I can't remember which fic it'd've been in. There's some parts I'd rewrite to align better with that if I could, but alas that is no longer on the table.

The most recent arc at the time of me writing BNHA Magica was the one introducing Eri, so that also got included in my vague disorganized outline. The FULL extent of my notes there are a quick little description of Izuku granting Eri a pen so that he can track her the same way he tracked Bakugou.

After this, I resolved to, quote, "CATAPULT MYSELF INTO THE ABYSS" and stop following canon. I then did not write down Any specific events beyond the bounds of canon. Good work, Past Me!

Some more disorganized things, uh... The way the Magical Girl Quirk works on Izuku's Chosen (including himself) is it essentially transfers their own quirk into a magic wand, replacing it with a pile of minor passive quirks. Stuff like mild superspeed, strength, agility, a dash of spidey-sense, aaaaaaaaaand fast healing. Or possibly the ability to share damage between everyone involved! I thought it was a very fun creative idea at the time, and it does suit the actual nature of the quirk being them all getting linked to Izuku, but it's also Really involved. My notes on it mostly involve Izuku getting Grievously Wounded during Training Camp but turning out mostly fine, but all his chosen experiencing Very Intense Fatigue as he saps their energy to regrow all the bones in his left arm. IDK if I'd've kept it in the end.

The other big thing in my notes that I'm not as sure about in hindsight is the idea of Izuku getting One For All after all, just, like, Late. It kinda ties in with the healing thing; I had the idea that he kinda reflexively shares the Overwhelming Power across the entirety of his network so that it doesn't make him Explode, but it does possibly result in synchronized Arm-Breaking. But idk about keeping that, I might've just found the image funny enough to write down.

Aaaaaaaand I think that's the extent of what's worth sharing from my written notes. To cap the post off, here's the (very incomplete) concept art! Not everyone represented here was Actually going to get a pen, I just sorta went wild and/or thought it would be funny.

[ocshipscanonwaters]

OCxCanon Week Day 3

Two prompts spoke to me on the day! Day 3

Prompt – Out In Nature Nigel Leeds x Isaac Lahey (MTV's Teen Wolf) Nigel looks around, this particular place is unfamiliar to him but it looks and smells safe. The boys have their normal camping spot they regularly use which is why Nigel is a little confused as to why they're here at this new place.

“Does it meet with your approval?” Isaac semi-jokes. Honestly he was a little on the fence about doing this. As resilient and strong as Nigel is, there was a part of Isaac that was concerned that being somewhere unknown may put Nigel on edge. Before they left this morning he accepted that if it did they'd leave and go to their normal camping haunt.

“I'll want to take a quick fly through later on but nothing giving red flag vibes. Here let me help you with that.” Nigel sighs as he watches Isaac try to carry all of their camping gear in a single trip.

Isaac jokingly scoffs; “I'm a big bad wolf remember? I'm tough.”

Nigel shakes his head; “Doesn't mean you got to be silly about it. Here...”

Nigel takes some of the items so they are sharing a more equal load. “There, isn't that easier?”

Part of Isaac wants to admit the truth, it wasn't the weight of the load but the volume of items that had been making things a tad bit more difficult than he was letting on. He doesn't want to admit that though, so instead he offers a lazy shrug. “If it makes you feel better.”

“It does but you're the one who knows where we are going so shouldn't you lead the way?”

Isaac blushes, Nigel is the one who usually leads the way. Not that he forces it, or even insists on it, Nigel taking the lead is just the natural standard they have fallen into. Nodding Isaac starts down what he thinks is the right trail towards the area they will be spending the next two days and two nights.

The spot they end up at is beautiful but it is far from the hiking trails, and the trek to get to the spot isn't fantastic which apparently has helped ensure that they are the only ones around. Isaac suggests that Nigel get them some trout for dinner while he sets up camp.

By the time Nigel comes back with a few trout Isaac has camp set up and is just sitting at the fire, he greets Nigel with a smile. The Jersey Devil stops in his tracks and openly sniffs at the air though he is currently in human. “Do I smell potatoes?”

Isaac nods; “Yeah, got some baking in the coals. They should be done by the time I've prepped and cooked that fish and I have some other greens here to cook in a pan too.”

“Fancy dinner.” Nigel says as he sits down; “I can clean the fish if you want.”

Isaac shakes his head and motions for the fish to be handed over; “I got it.”

“What's up? What's the occasion?”

Isaac sighs; “I was thinking I'd tell you after dinner but may as well talk while I cook.”

Nigel begins to feel nervous. New location, fancy meal, Isaac needing to talk about something apparently important? He can't help but believe that whatever is up it isn't good.

“So...I'm sure you remember when you first took me camping I had to warm up to the idea...”

“But you did warm up to the idea right?” Nigel replies cautiously.

“Oh I most certainly have. That's what I want to talk to you about.” Isaac looks around, really taking in their surroundings. “I never thought it would be possible but I now have a love for being outdoors and nature and...that's had me make a decision.”

Nigel is so lost now, his fears can't figure out how what Isaac is saying could be bad but they are sure it is. “What's that?”

“I've decided that I want to work out here, in the great outdoors, as a forest ranger.”

The relief is almost physically draining for the Jersey Devil; “That's great I-”

Isaac holds up the hand he's wielding the fillet knife with to get Nigel to pause. “But in order to do that I have to do a lot of schooling first, not doctor a lot, but still a fair bit. So I applied to a school that has what I need and I got accepted.”

Nigel jumps up and down on the spot, he's so happy for Isaac. “That's great!”

“There is a catch though.”

Nigel's joy catches in his throat and the fears return. What catch could there be? Does Isaac have to break up with Nigel for some reason in order do this.

“In order to do this. I...and I hope I mean we, have to move to Fresno.”

“Okay and?” Nigel doesn't understand the problem. His worries return and start to grow.

Isaac can see how worried Nigel is becoming, and he feels so bad because he doesn't think there was a way he could talk to Nigel about this without giving the poor Jersey Devil some temporary anxiety in the beginning. It's just how Nigel's past has him act from time to time.

“Fresno's population is about half a mill, a wee bit bigger than Beacon Hills' thirty K and we probably won't be able to head out of town and get away from it all till my program is done...in four years. I know you've had trouble being around the number of people you are in Beacon Hills at times so...if you think it will be a problem it's okay you can tell me. I don't have to do this; I can figure something else out. The last think I want to do is stress you out.” Isaac can feel his dialogue getting away from him, he's starting to ramble and can't stop himself.

“Let's do it.” Is all Nigel replies.

“Really? Just like that?” Isaac asks. He thought that Nigel would have some fear or hesitation.

“Just like that. It's only four years and given that as long as nothing bad happens we each have at least a hundred more years to go it won't be that long at all.”

“So you're gonna be okay probably living in a tiny apartment surrounded by tons of people on all sides?”

Nigel shrugs; “Maybe not at first but I'll adapt. I'll be busy working anyhow so that'll help.”

“Working?” Isaac doesn't understand.

“Well someone is going to have to pay the bills and you'll be focused on your studies.”

“I didn't want to assume.” Isaac actually hadn't thought about how they would pay for everything. He just thought he'd be doing a mix of student loans and living off his father's estate.

“We're mates. I know we haven't had the wedding yet but in the eyes of Jersey Devils you and I are already bonded. Me putting in the work so you can focus on your studies is expected. Just as when the times comes and I try to rebuild my clan it's expected you'll have to shoulder more initially while I focus on that. It's just what mates do for each other.”

Isaac smiles, his chest feels heavy. Having lived with his abusive father for so long, even now the instantaneous support Nigel gives him time and again feels almost overwhelming. There is a part of him, the part created by years living under his father's abuse that wants to have him question how lucky he is, how long it will be till he screws this up, or the other shoe drops and Nigel reveals who he really is. He pushes all those thoughts aside, focusing on the moment.

Isaac needs to distract himself. Turning his attention back to the fish he continues prepping them.“So after dinner I guess we can celebrate the good news?”

Nigel smiles mischievously; “Yeah, once the sun sets we can celebrate. We'll give the stars quite the show.”

Isaac can't tell if Nigel is teasing or telling the truth, either way all the doubts and fears are gone as his mind is now focused on...other things.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fashion – Casual Nigel Leeds x Isaac Lahey (MTV's Teen Wolf) Liam sighs; “Is it just me?”

“No it's not just you.” Stiles reassures the new werewolf.

“Oh not this again. It makes him happy.” Isaac says with a sigh.

“What are we talking about?” Scott asks as he approaches the trio. “Wait it's not the t-shirt again is it?”

Stiles raises a finger at Scott. “Yes! It's weird.”

“It's not weird! It's just a t-shirt! It's cute and he's cute when he wears it.” Isaac snaps.

“Buying your non-werewolf boyfriend a t-shirt with a huge wolf jumping out at the viewer is not cute!” Stiles states.

Scott shrugs with a smile; “It's kinda cute.”

Stiles sighs.

“And it makes him happy. Given everything he's been through since escaping to Beacon Hills...” Isaac doesn't bother finishing the sentence. They all know at least a bit of what the poor creature has suffered.

“It does make him smile and he is cute when he smiles.” Liam agrees. This apparently does not sit well with Isaac who folds his arms and glares at the newest wolf. Liam looks at Isaac with confusion; “What? I'm just agreeing with what you said!”

Scott inwardly sighs recognizing the unnecessary, reflexive jealously that can come with being a werewolf; a jealousy that he himself has suffered from numerous times without realizing it at the time. “Isaac, you're acting like I did when I thought you were into Allison.”

Isaac immediately uncrosses his arms and holds his hands out in front of him as part of a dramatic apology; “Sorry! Didn't realize I was being that bad.”

“I wasn't that bad.” Scott protests.

“Yeah you were.” Stiles nods as he speaks. Feeling a bit embarrassed Scott tries to change the subject. “I thought we were talking about the t-shirt.”

Sensing the chance to have a little fun with things Stiles gives Scott a consoling pat on the shoulder. “Why? It's just clothing buddy.”

Scott is so lost.

[seaofwine]

How did you first reach out/connect with Athena for your practice? I really want to work with and learn from her, but I’m so incredibly afraid of doing something wrong

For me, I kind of feel like Athena has always been around in some way or another (but that’s for a different post), but I want you to know that it’s okay to start whenever, she will meet you where you are. I’ll share my experience in this and I really hope it helps.

During the pandemic, I mean the *early* months of them, I was really lost in my life in general. I was completely directionless. I'd switched university tracks to attend literally two months of art school before campus closed. I was in mostly studio and design classes so this basically meant everything I'd started wouldn't ever be finished.

I can't describe to you the feeling of hopelessness. I'd stepped out of a promising internship and a chance at law school to follow my dreams. This was probably the riskiest decision I've ever made and it definitely felt like it was not paying off at all. I'd hoped to see some sign that the change would be worth it and this as an answer was a blow I didn't know how to recover from.

I didn't know what to do. It was in this chaos that I connected with her for the first time as a conscious worshipper. I'd woven things for her before, had a collection of prized owls on a shelf for her, but this was when I really reached out for help. I guess you could say I was building kharis with her for a bit beforehand, but that was by no means something you have to spend a ton of time doing before reaching out. You build it along the way.

We don't really have widespread access to temples and sanctuaries anymore, and shrines are usually things we've made ourselves. Something I've been doing in my practice is going to places that fall under their domain. So for Apollon, the art studio was a place I would meditate and pray, offering my work at the end of a session or my paint water. For Athena, it was the university library (any place you feel close to her works though, this could be your room or a museum, this was just what worked for me at the time). I just went as I was in that moment. Lost, confused, needing aid. I sat there for a while and told her everything. I wasn't perfect, I haven't been perfect, but that's kind of the point. I worked at it over time, reading her myths, making offerings, a prayer journal, just telling her about my day. I thank her for all the ways she's shown up for me, all the ways I can see her in my everyday life, and that's been the way to go for me. I keep a notebook in my bag where I write notes to her when things get tough, wear devotional jewelry, and dedicate my achievements to her.

She has these really lovely epithets, Ergane, the instructor of man, or Aleia, the provider of refuge, Amboulia, of good counsel, Soteira, the savior. She's familiar with every struggle and insecurity you could have. These gods are older than we can possibly comprehend. Yes - there are guidelines for how you should behave, but the things that can make the gods genuinely upset are few and severe. Hubris for one, and defiling a temple, or killing a relative, like those are things that the average person will never really encounter. Make the mistakes, as long as you are respectful and approach the gods with good intentions, you’re okay. There are a million right ways to worship, and only very few that are historically attested as Wrong.