#poria

[mega-aulover]

A S. W. A. N. Story

This is for the wonderful @alwayseverlark who is always finding ways for this fandom to unite. I am grateful for your friendship and for your encouragement. Thank you for all that you do!

Special thanks to @lemonluvgirl87 for betaing :)

T rating for some bullying family disputes - family drama-meet cute - elitism - A modern AU of an Everlarked Cinderella....but with out the whole shoe thing.

Summary: Katniss Everdeen is a smart girl. Brilliant, actually. She has more degrees than she has fingers on one hand. But she has never felt beautiful or interesting. When she is asked to be Madge's maid of honor Katniss has serious doubts she'll fit in with her childhood glamorous friend. Will she survive the wedding and find love? Or will she be a total embarrassment.

Katniss sighed as she looked at her image in the mirror. At 24 she wasn't the typical girl in her mid-twenties. For one, she had a masters in the field of botany and another in Environmental Biology, with two minors- one in Paleontology and another in Genetics. She had several papers published in prestigious medical and scientific papers and was one month away from getting her doctoral thesis reviewed.

Though none of her academic success wouldn't have happened had it not been for Mrs. Swanson. At the age of eleven Mrs. Swanson saw that Katniss wasn't interested in what was being taught. Her teacher suggested Katniss take an aptitude test to see if she had any learning difficulties. Her scores for the test showed that Katniss did not have learning difficulties, she was in fact a smart brilliant child.

Katniss was next given the national IQ test to see her acumen. Mrs. Sawanon believed Katniss was smart. Her high scores were surprising. As a result she was skipped from the sixth grade to high school. Katniss qualified to be instantly enrolled to the University of Panem on a scholarship when she turned sixteen.

Because of her genius, Katniss often found it difficult to interact with people. Unless she was truly comfortable, she didn't talk, and she often felt left out in social situations.

The weekend wedding, she was going to be part of, scared the living daylights out of her. It's why it was important this weekend, everything went smoothly.

Critically she examined herself in the mirror. She wore comfortable green cargo pants with the hems rolled up because she was short. Her white t-shirt was clean, her sneakers were new. Katniss slipped on a loose heather gray knit sweater as they were going to take a flight and planes were often cold.

Katniss grimaced at her reflection one more time giving herself a pep talk. "You're going to be alright, Everdeen. If it gets too much you can always take a walk."

Walking helped center her and it would also help her not stuff her face. Food was her drug of choice, when things became bad.

Katniss still had about ten pounds to lose. She'd gained a lot of weight during her undergraduate years. The University of Panem, located in the heart of the Capitol of Panem, was surrounded by an urban concrete jungle and she didn't have the ability to hunt or hike.

During that time Katniss learned she needed the outdoors to help her cope with the stressors of life. The gym wasn't something that motivated her and so she gained a lot of weight on her petite frame.

"Don't forget to pack your contacts," Prim yelled from the guest bedroom. "Madge does not want you to wear your glasses!"

Katniss rolled her eyes pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Her contacts were packed, as Madge dictated. Anyone who was considered a plane Jane knew that removing their eyeglasses didn't turn them into automatic beautiful swans. She wasn't pretty, she was dull and uninspiring. No one would ever wax poetically about her physical appearance. Though, with a bow and an arrow in her hands, Katniss transformed into something powerful and unstoppable.

She sighed, "Too bad there isn't going to be an archery contest this weekend."

Katniss turned around and walked into her bedroom. She lived alone in the Capitol these past two years. Her sister traveled from the university she attended in District One so that they could travel together to the wedding destination. Katniss hoped that this weekend things would change for her and Prim. She wanted them to somehow grow closer. This wedding could be the jumping point for new horizons. Things had been rough between Prim and Katniss. Katniss hoped being accepted by Madge and her sister's friends, maybe just maybe Prim would see she was worthy.

Katniss sat on the bed briefly and picked up the framed photo of her parents. It was one of the few mementos she had of her fathers. Her father, the late great Jackson Everdeen was a well-respected archaeologist, and he took them on adventures all over the world. He wore a hat and leather jacket like Indiana Jones.

Then he became ill.

When he died, Katniss's entire world turned upside down.

Turning sixteen and losing her father while finishing her last year of school was not easy. Her mother became depressed, and the bills piled up. It was up to her to take the mantle of adulthood. Katniss learned how to budget for money. She sold things on Craig's list to make ends meet. While most girls her age were at the beach, she was preparing dinner and lunches for the week, mowing neighbor's lawns for extra cash, and buying groceries. With the help of a friend of the family, Katniss convinced her mother to get help. Her mother slowly came back but she was never the same.

By the time August came around, Katniss was considering not entering University. Things were just starting to turn around, and her mother's mental health was important. But her mother pushed her to leave. Katniss suspected her mother was relieved when she left to study at the Capitol. Her mother never cried when Katniss left. There wasn't pride that her eldest was going to university. There was a feverish desire to get rid of her.

Katniss supposed that she was a living reminder of her father Jack, and her mother hurt to see her. It was this discovery that caused her to leave her home.

While her mother recovered and blossomed; for Katniss, living in the Capitol was hard. It was a stressful transition from the gentle rolling hills and mountains of her home district to the frenetic energy of a city full of towering buildings made up of glass, steel, and concrete. The only green to be found was in the clothing people wore.

Katniss threw herself into studying and working to maintain herself while in the Capitol. She made sure to put aside any extra money for her sister. Katniss saved a nest egg to fund Prim's education.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Prim asked, frowning. She placed her hand on her hip. Prim was clad in a short bubbly-pink slip dress, and mile high heels.

"It's freezing outside."

"But we're going to a tropical island."

"We're going to be in the air for nearly five hours. And we'll land at like five in the morning. I want to be comfortable."

"You'll look like one of the servants."

Katniss looked down at her outfit and sighed. She wondered where her sweet little sister had gone. When she graduated and came home Prim was all grown up. Her sister had transformed into a great beauty just like their mother. "But I'm comfy…"

"It's horrible," Prim said, her fist curling. "You've got to change, or at least take your hair out of that stupid childish braid."

"There isn't time."

"Just don't embarrass me," Prim huffed.

Katniss looked down at the picture in her hand. "I'll stay out of your way, don't worry."

Prim stomped away. Katniss could hear her sister say, "I don't know why Madge made you a bridesmaid."

Katniss expelled a deep breath before putting her picture back on her bedside table.

Madge had asked both Prim and Katniss to be in her bridal party. Katniss was surprised. She and the Mayor's daughter sat together during lunch back in high school, they didn't talk but they were friendly. Katniss was flattered until she met the other bridesmaids. All of the bridesmaids including her baby sister were tall slender modelesque blondes, with fair complexions and pale blue eyes. In contrast Katniss was short, with dark hair, gray eyes, and olive skin complexion.

Once again, she felt as if she didn't belong. The first time she'd felt this way was the spring she'd graduated from her undergraduate program and returned home for one summer.

Prim and her mother were a team, Prim inherited her mother's looks and bubbly personality. Katniss looked like their father and had his fire and frightening intelligence. Her mother refused to engage with Katniss. Instead, their mother focused on Prim. She showered her baby sister with everything, while Katniss was pushed to the side.

Katniss was a fish looking out of the fishbowl not being able to participate in the life her mother and sister had outside of the bowl.

"Come on Catnip," Prim sang, knowing Katniss hated that nickname. Prim bounded out of the house. "The car is here!"

"I'm coming," Katniss muttered, she loathed being called catnip.

"HURRY!" Prim bellowed from the car.

"Okay, okay," Katniss said. It was so cold outside her breath came out in puffy white clouds. Locking up the door she ran to the car and got in. The warmth stung her cold cheeks.

"I can't wait to get glammed up," Prim said as she put her seat belt on.

The car pulled out of Katniss's driveway.

Katniss smiled thinly, wanting the three-day weekend to go well, as she had hoped.

"I can't believe Madge is getting married tomorrow night," Prim said as she hummed along to the bubbly song. "She was so welcoming to me when I was pledging to her sorority. Took me under her wing, and so did Glimmer and Cashmere who are cousins. I can't wait to see them."

"I'm glad you've made great friends," Katniss quietly said.

"I know you don't care but I can't wait to get into my dress," Prim squealed.

Katniss said nothing, as the car slipped into the highway.

"Madge said that Cinna was hand-making the dresses, it's why he sent his assistants to take the measurements," Prim chirped happily.

Katniss frowned. No assistant came to take her measurements. As per the instructions she received via email she was to take her own measurements and send them to the provided address. She'd made sure that followed all the directions to the letter, she didn't want to make anyone upset with her.

"Can you imagine, me, putting on a couture gown that's worth ten thousand coins?" Prim smiled, her eyes were bright with happiness.

Katniss didn't say anything. She settled back in her seat and tried to relax letting what Prim said go over her head.

When they pulled up to the private airport that was going to take them to the wedding destination.

Katniss's smile faltered as they got out and saw the other women who were giants, one was named Glimmer, and the other Cashmere. These women were always frosty to Katniss, but for the sake of her sister Katniss squared her shoulders and plastered a smile on her face.

Prim squealed when she saw them.

"Have you met any of the groomsmen?" Cashmere asked.

"No, I haven't met any of them," Prim said.

"They're gorgeous," Glimmer said.

No one had met their partner; Madge had gotten engaged less than two months ago. It was a whirlwind romance that led to a quickly planned wedding.

Katniss tried to keep her calm when she was left behind to take care of the luggage. All three women were talking at the same time. Their voices were a cacophony of vain prattle. On the plane, Katniss sat by herself as it took off. Five hours later they landed at the exclusive island Madge was going to get married at.

A car drove them to the house, and Katniss's jaw dropped. The white house was enormous, and it was set amongst lush landscapes. The air smelled sweet with tropical fauna. The botanist in Katniss wanted to investigate what flowers produced such a sweet scent. The elegant front porch with its roof supported by four tall columns was welcoming. The elaborate doorway was made from a native rich wood. The elegant large windows had shutters, which were merely decorative.

There was a woman waiting for them with three frosty fruity drinks.

Katniss was about to reach for one when Glimmer shoved her to the side.

"Oh, my goodness these are delicious," Glimmer said.

"I know," Prim squealed. "I'm legal here I can drink!"

"I really need to relax. I've been so stressed," Cashmere said giggling.

Katniss watched her sister giggle and nod.

Madge came out and she grinned when she saw them. "Hi, I'm glad you're here. We've got to get you guys ready for tonight. Cinna is here with his team. The guys are getting ready as we speak. Helene will take you to Cinna's prep team," Madge said.

Katniss was going to follow when Madge pulled her back.

"Katniss, thank goodness you're here, I need you to help with the flower arrangements, they're a nightmare."

Katniss smiled. "Sure."

While the others were whisked away for mani-pedis, and facials Katniss was put to work. Even though she didn't know much about bridal floral arrangements, Madge was right, the arrangements were a hot mess. Using her phone she looked up wild plants. Katniss found a few species of plants outside that could be used to better the decorations.

When she was finished with her first task, a message was sent down from Madge. Katniss was to assist the staff set up the reception, next she was told she was to help set up the cocktail hour, she was made to help while everyone was getting ready. That is how she found herself hauling chairs down to the patio.

As she was tying the decorations on the chairs that lined the wedding aisle, she heard the distinctive voices of men. She looked up to see four men dressed in tuxedos standing by the backyard entrance of the house.

One was tall with a slight build with sandy brown hair, another had thick meaty fingers, and there was another that was bronzed with green eyes. They were all handsome, but in her opinion, it was the last guy that was the best-looking one.

He had warm blue eyes and was athletic like the other guys, but his movements were graceful. There was something about him that caused her to want to give him a flirty smile. And Katniss did not flirt.

"Hey, Marvel, maybe she can get us some drinks," the one with the meaty fingers said as he pointed to Katniss.

"Cato, I don't think she'd know, she looks like she's here with the vendors," Marvel said.

"I don't think Madge would like for us to get drunk, until after we have taken the pictures," the one with the warm blue eyes said.

"Peeta's right, Madge would have our arse if we looked drunk in those pictures," the bronzed one said.

"Come on, live a little, Finnick," Cato said. Turning to Katniss the one called Cato said, "You wouldn't happen to know where the drinks are would you?"

Katniss shook her head, she was a bundle of nerves, and she couldn't answer their simple question. She brushed by them entering the house, hoping she wouldn't have to speak to them. She took her sweater and tied it around her middle. Her hair was piled up into a messy bun. She was sweaty and tired, and she still needed to take a shower and put on the dress she was sure would not fit her.

Katniss felt like she always looked like a frumpy potato sack, even when she tried her best. To her embarrassment her cousin Gale had taken her to her winter formal dance when she was sixteen. It was her father's last wish. The dress her mother had secured her was a tiered silky pink ruffled dress with high lace collar and long sleeves that were also ruffled. It was one size too big, and the color was supposed to be pink but in the pictures, it looked brown.

"Are you sure you don't know where the drinks are?" Cato pulled out a stack of coins and asked, "I can make it worth your while?"

Katniss took a step back not knowing how to make these men know that she had no idea where they would keep the alcohol.

"See I told you she wouldn't know," Marvel said.

These were the times Katniss wished she had her bow and arrow. These entitled pricks always thought they had the right to objectify women and treat them like crap.

"Leave her alone Cato," Peeta said. "Look she's just trying to earn a living okay? Just leave her alone."

"Peeta's right," Finnick said.

"She probably doesn't speak English." Marvel then proceeded to shout, "HABLA ENGLISH! ENGLISH!"

"Come on, we're wasting our time," Cato said. "We better get back."

Katniss was glad they were leaving, Marvel and Cato were idiots. Money did not buy people class.

Peeta stayed behind, as he watched the guys move on to the other side of the room. They cornered one of the waiters. Peeta turned to Katniss, "I'm sorry about them. They're not even my friends. You did a great job."

"It's okay really," she said.

"They're real jerks. I guess that makes me a jerk too, but I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with guys like me, like us." He slipped his hand in his pocket and he looked full of energy as if uncomfortable.

"Thank you," Katniss said. She smiled politely. He was a nice guy and she wished that someone like him would one day pay attention to her. She knew that it was useless to want something like this. A gorgeous guy like him would never really pay attention to someone like her. She was the help in his eyes.

"So what…"

"There you are," Prim said, looking resplendent in a floor-length chiffon gown with open crisscross back and sweetheart neckline with spaghetti straps in a lovely peach shade. "Why aren't you dressed!"

Katniss was about to respond.

"Prim," Cato exclaimed.

"Cato, I didn't know you'd be one of the groomsmen," Prim said breathily.

Katniss rolled her eyes when she realized this was the guy Prim had saved in her phone contacts as Steak. She hung back.

"So…" Peeta said. "Do you work here or are you with the rental companies?"

Katniss cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and said, "No."

"Will you be at the wedding?"

Katniss nodded, her heart racing in her chest.

He smiled at her and Katniss swore time slowed down, like in the movies.

"Do you think you'll save a dance for me?"

Dumbfounded, Katniss stared into his eyes. She saw that he was a gentle soul. Katniss felt her cheeks heat up. He wanted to dance with her and that itself was a miracle. She gave him a crooked smile, unsure what to say. It figured she'd finally meet a guy when she looked and smelled her worst. He was in a tux, looking like a gift from the gods.

Before she could answer, her sister's head snapped to Katniss. She gave her a venomous look.

"So, I'll see you later?" Cato asked Prim.

Katniss glanced to her side wondering what she had done wrong.

Her sister giggled, before purring, "I've got to go, but I'll see you later." Her sister wrapped her hand around Katniss's arm and then dragged her away.

"Prim, would you mind slowing down," Katniss said as she was dragged to a corner. Katniss could see the guys from where she stood hidden in the shadows.

"You're not supposed to speak to anyone," her sister hissed.

What her sister said didn't make sense."Prim, I was…"

Prim pushed her away and pointed at her chest."Where have you been?"

Her tone denoted more of a demand than a question. "I've been working, while you and the rest of the girls were getting dressed."

"Madge…"

"Madge was the one who sent me down there to work."

"Madge would never do that," Prim huffed.

"You know I don't lie Prim."

"I don't believe you."

"When have I ever lied to you, Primrose? Besides, didn't you notice I wasn't there with you guys?"

"You know what, it doesn't matter. What does matter is the photographer is here to take pictures and here you are ruining Madge's day."

"I was only doing what she asked me to do." Katniss wished her sister would believe her. "Prim…"

"Instead of arguing you should be worried about getting ready. Though I doubt there is anything Cinna and his team can do to make you look better."

Katniss ignored her sister's insult, having an argument would be counterproductive. Her shoulders slumped, as she took a deep sigh. "Just point me to my room so that I can take a shower."

"Fine," Prim huffed.

Katniss followed Prim down a flight of stairs down a long corridor to a room far away from the rest of the guest's rooms. In fact, it wasn't even in the same wing. "Madge didn't want you disturbing everyone's fun this weekend," Prim smirked.

The room was smaller than her college dorm room. But at least it offered privacy. "Where is the bathroom?"

"It's in the hallway." Prim crossed her arms. "You'll be sharing it with the staff."

"Okay," Katniss said. It didn't matter; she was only going to be here a few days. "I can be ready in ten, fifteen max."

"You only have five minutes."

"Okay." Katniss was trying not to get annoyed by her sisters' curt responses. She opened her suitcase and took out her shower kit.

"Don't get upset. It's not my fault you don't have time, because you were wasting time downstairs."

"Prim I wasn't wasting time-"

"You know, Madge didn't even want you to be part of her bridal party. She knew you were going to do something to ruin her day. And she was right."

"Then why am I here?" Katniss asked, shocked and dismayed by her sister's vitriol. Her eyes watered up, but she tempered down her sadness.

"The only reason you're here is because Madge's father was a friend of his…"

"You mean our father, Prim, Jackson Everdeen."

At the mention of their father's name Prim's face became stormy.

That summer Katniss lived at home; Prim never mentioned their father. There were no pictures of their father in the house. In fact, Katniss noticed their mother had taken down any pictures of Katniss as well. Any time Katniss brought up their father, Prim became upset. Katniss tried to broach the subject with their mother, but their mother shut her down.

With rage Prim ground out, "He abandoned us."

"He was sick, Prim, for a long time. He fought to get better to stay alive. I don't know what lie you've told yourself but our father didn't want to die…he loved us."

"He wasn't even a father to me."

Katniss was going to respond but Madge and Glimmer came into the room. Madge was wearing a white robe with the word bride in pink crystals, and she also had a pink sash that said the same thing. Glimmer wore the same dress Prim was wearing except she wasn't wearing heels she was wearing fuzzy slippers. It was such a silly thing for Katniss to notice as she looked into Glimmer's steely eyes.

"Prim," Madge said, looking at Primrose with kindness. Her frosty eyes flickered to Katniss momentarily. "I came to get you. I'm about to put my dress on and I wanted you to be in the picture..." Madge said with compassion, "Primypooh, Are you okay?"

Prim stood there; her face twisted in anger. "No, I'm not! She always does this…like a dog with a bone."

Madge turned to Katniss and then spat, "I don't know why my father idolizes you. You're a freak of nature, you smell like dead things, you're fat, and you're not even that pretty."

Katniss opened her mouth and shut it. She turned to her sister, silently pleading for some sort of benevolence.

She didn't understand why her sister was so mean and caustic with her.

"That man messed up my mother. Fucked her up in the head! He was selfish. He filled mother's head with the life they would have. But in the end, all she did was suffer. Our mother could have married into a reputable family. A family with means, a name, like the Mellarks or the Johnstons. Mother had her choice of men to choose from, but she made one mistake. She got knocked up with her…" Prim pointed at Katniss. "She's just like him, ugly as fuck, and always ruining things!" Prim sneered at her with so much malice, Katniss was taken aback. "My mother regretted her life with that man. Regretted having you. She said she should've gotten rid of you when she had the chance!"

Katniss stood there numb. It was like being pelted in the face with a frozen snowball multiple times.

"I told you that she's a disaster," Glimmer said.

"Ladies," a gentle voice called from the doorway.

Katniss balled her hands trying to displace her pain and hurt into that part of her body so that they wouldn't be witnesses to her tears. Part of her acknowledged she should have stayed home, said no to Madge, and made an excuse. However, the drive to fix her relationship with her sister prompted her to say yes and come.

"Oh, Cinna!" Madge's tone of voice changed, and in an instant, the countenance of all three blondes changed from irate, to ambassadors of light and happiness. "What are you doing here?'

"I'm here to get Miss Everdeen ready," Cinna said calmly.

There was a woman with him, she had aqua-spiked hair and gold tattoos above her eyebrows. Her face did not belay the tension that had to be swirling in the room.

"I'm assuming you're Katniss?" Cinna asked.

Katniss nodded, she didn't expect Cinna to be so young for a man who'd already made a huge mark in the fashion industry. Even though she wasn't a fashionista, Katniss was aware of who Cinna was. He dressed one of her colleagues when their suit was ruined. Unlike the woman who stood next to him the only decoration he had was a thin gold line over his eyelids. He was dressed in an elegant black dress shirt with gold-colored buttons and crisply pleated pants. He glanced at Katniss and his smile was gentle, and his eyes were reassuring.

"Venia, tell the others to get everything ready," Cinna said.

Venia nodded.

"There's no need��I'm afraid plans have changed." Madge smiled thinly, but Venia didn't listen to Madge, she left.

"Oh," Cinna breathed out.

"I just don't have time for…besides you've dressed my cousin who I sent you the measurements for, she looks amazing in the dress. Plus, I'm sure, you don't have anything that will fit her."

"You know, your father was the one who made the request," Cinna said. "Mayor Undersea told me, it was important to him that Jack Everdeen's eldest be present in the wedding because he saved his life."

"My father?" Madge said.

"He did?" Prim questioned harshly.

Katniss had no idea, but it was a balsam to hear that her father was a good kind man, and not the monster Primrose painted him to be to Madge and the rest of the entourage.

"Yes," Cinna said, "He and your mother were excited that Miss Everdeen was the maid of honor."

"He did," Madge squeaked out.

"So, if you do not mind, I have to make sure your father's wishes are taken care of."

"I…" Madge stammered.

Cinna smiled.

"But she has no dress!"

"Do not worry, I will make sure your pictures are wonderful. Also, Caesar Flickerman is here."

"Caesar Flickerman!" Madge squealed.

"Upon my invitation, he came to interview you and your family," Cinna said charmingly. "Your wedding is the event of the season. You are, after all, marrying a Highbottom."

"OMG, Caesar Flickerman," Glimmer exclaimed. "My mother loves him!"

Katniss wasn't sure what was going on.

"You're needed downstairs," Cinna said, winking at Katniss. "Caesar is going to set up his cameras in the bridal suite so that he can have footage of you in your dress."

"Madge, forget about her," Glimmer urged. "You have to be camera perfect."

Madge turned to Prim, "I want you to be there for the interview."

"Of course, you're going to be famous," Prim said.

Madge turned to Cinna, "Thank you so much." She turned to Katniss and her face soured. "There isn't enough magic to make her look good, but if you can do something to make her less embarrassing that would be wonderful."

Madge, Glimmer, and Prim left in a hurry.

Katniss expelled the breath she was holding.

"I'm sorry," Katniss apologized; she never intended to cause problems.

"I heard everything," Cinna said quietly.

"Oh." She was mortified that strangers had heard everything. It was one thing to be known as the black sheep of the family, it was another to have it be known to strangers. Especially important ones.

"I am going to make you look resplendent," Cinna promised.

"You don't have to, I'm not going down there." The words were thick in her throat as it closed up with emotion.

"No, don't let them win," Cinna said. "Don't let your sister treat you like that."

"But, she…" Katniss stammered as the tears she'd been battling slipped from her eyes.

"She's a bratty bitch," Cinna said. "I've met plenty of girls like her, however, I've not met a woman like you…Mayor Undersee told me how you kept your family afloat after your father died. He told me how you are the one who is paying for your sister's education, and still sending your mother a part of your paycheck. The Mayor is very proud of you, he showed me the articles you've written, and the accolades you've received."

Katniss bit the bottom of her lip to keep from balling.

"I also heard the way you worked downstairs, pitching in…" Cinna said. "You're quite admirable."

"How?"

"My friend Portia was supposed to be downstairs doing the decorations. Her plane was late, when she arrived she said she saw you handling things. You're unique, and if they could remove the stick out of their asses they'd be able to see it."

"I'm not…" Katniss was going to say she wasn't worthy, but Cinna spoke over her words.

"You are," Cinna gently smiled.

"Thank you for your kind words," Katniss sighed. She blinked and then taking a tissue from her pocket blew her nose.

"No need," Cinna said. "Just leave that behind, I have everything you need."

Katniss blinked, she believed him and left her shower kit behind. She blindly followed Cinna. Part of her wanted to run and hide. The small hope Katniss held to possibly fix her relationship fizzled. Once more she felt unloved and an outsider.

When she arrived in his suite of rooms, his assistants were all ready for her. "Everyone I'm guessing you heard what this brilliant young lady has been put through."

Venia smiled and her eyes sparkled, as she approached. "We're going to make you look better than the bride. And when this weekend is over, everyone is going to love you!"

Katniss swallowed, the fiercely determined look in the eyes of the group of people, it made her tremble. No one had ever looked at her that way. Even though she was fantastic in her field she never attended social events. Katniss was terrified to be called a phony.

"Trust me?" Cinna said.

Katniss nodded. Instantly she was whisked away to the bathroom that was twice the size of her apartment bedroom. For the rest of the time she was soaked in luxurious scented water, buffed, polished, perfumed, and peeled. The peeling wasn't great but her skin had never been softer.

She sat in a chair, her hair in a towel having lost track of time.

"What do you want to do with her Cinna?" Venia asked.

"With those eyes, smokey and dangerous," Flavius said.

"I think we should keep it basic," Cinna said, tipping her chin up. "Amplify her classic beauty," Cinna said.

Katniss couldn't believe that Cinna was saying she was beautiful. Physically she wasn't pretty but Katniss knew in the woods, she shone like a diamond.

"Oh yes," Octavia breathed. "She's such an exotic beauty, we can play up her eyes, and her skin tone. Ugh…I wish I had your olive skin tone."

"You think I'm pretty?" Katniss blurted.

They laughed.

"You really don't know do you?" Venia said.

"You're a treasure!" Flavius exclaimed. "You are so gorgeous you make all of the girls ripe with jealousy."

Venia added, "And you have a banging bod!"

"I always thought…" Katniss didn't finish her sentence, instead, she peered at her reflection. The pert nose, the weird color of eyes, the extra weight. She was forever comparing her darker skin to her mother's and Prim's fair one.

"Did you bring contacts?" Venia asked.

"Yes, Madge said I should," Katniss said. "It's in my shower kit, but I left it on the bed."

"Kist," Venia said to her assistant. "Go get all of her stuff."

"Sure thing," Kist said.

"Well young lady, it's time to get your hair done," Flavius said.

Katniss watched as Flavius quickly transformed her thick straight dark locks into bouncy waves of perfection. He parted her hair to the side and then explained he was giving her a relaxed finger wave. Her hair looked fantastic.

After putting on her contacts Venia applied her makeup as Octavia finished up her nails. Katniss wasn't allowed to look at herself while they worked on her face. When they finished Cinna held out the dress. It left her speechless.

"What do you think?"

"Cinna's it's your best design to date," Venia breathed.

The dress looked like a soft sunset. It was a floor-length strapless gown with silk organza draped over one shoulder creating a small cape.

"Are those polka dots made from fabric?" Katniss asked.

"Actually, tiny crystals were woven into little pockets throughout the dress so that when it moves," Cinna said, moving the gown. "It glitters."

Katniss gasped as the dress shimmered in the light.

"She's going to look like a Grecian goddess," Flavius whispered.

"Let's get you dressed," Cinna said.

The dress slipped over her head and within moments she was ready. Katniss wondered what she looked like. They didn't have time to do a reveal because Madge was calling.

"Just trust me you look amazing," Cinne said, winking at her. Katniss nodded and stood straighter feeling it. The dress felt amazing, softer than her favorite cotton tee-shirt.

Cinna leaned in close and whispered into her ear, "It might hurt but sometimes you have to cut the toxic people from your life."

Katniss looked at him wide-eyed. She could never cut her sister out of her life. She was so alone and having her sister and her mother even if it was hurtful made her feel part of a family.

"Ready?" Cinna said.

Lifting her chin in the air Katniss nodded and followed them downstairs.

She could hear the women talking and laughing as they were congregated by the doors. None noticed her and for once Katniss didn't care.

"Katniss Everdeen," Mayor Undersea said, coming forward with his wife.

"You look wonderful," Roberta Undersea said.

"Thank you Mrs. Undersea," Katniss said. Roberta was Edward Undersea's second wife. Madge's mother passed away a few years ago due to a botched-up plastic surgery accident. She was smart and it was well known that Madge and her stepmother didn't get along.

"I am so happy Madge had the sense to put you as her maid of honor," Mayor Undersea said. "Come and see me. I want to introduce you to a few people here. They've read your articles and want to meet the young lady who is making our world a better place."

"Thank you, sir," Katniss said.

"Oh Peeta, have you met the young lady you are going to walk down the aisle with?" Roberta said, pulling the blond man from before. Katniss could feel her cheeks warming up at the sight of him.

"Uh hi again," Peeta stammered.

"Again?" Roberta said grinning.

"Well she was helping out before," Peeta said pointing to the outdoors.

"Of course, she was," Mayor Undersea said. "That's the type of lovely young lady she is, Muriel," he called over to someone.

A woman with a dour face and critical blue eyes came over. "This is Jack Everdeen's oldest. This is Katniss."

Muriel's face turned wide with surprise. "Oh, she's the one that saved us all of that money."

"Mom," Peeta said.

"Shut up, boy. This is the type of woman I wanted for one of your brothers, not one of those bottle died blondes with the botox-injected faces. I read your article on how to save money while going green. We saved millions because of that article."

Katniss hid her smile.

"Mom," Peeta said. "She's the girl who I'm supposed to be…"

"Don't lose sight of her, she's a peach," Muriel said. "I shudder to think of you with that Glitter girl."

Mayor Undersea laughed, "Muriel we'll do lunch next week. Catch up on that golf game?"

"Why not? You'll lose," Muriel said. Turning to her son she said, "Now just stand there, give her a compliment Peeta."

"Mom," Peeta looked at her. "She's right…I mean you're gorgeous and I'd like to know if you'd go out with me this weekend?" Peeta said, rushing through his words.

"Really?"

"He's the best of the Mellarks," Roberta whispered to Katniss encouragingly.

"Well you don't have to say yes, but I just thought you should know that I also think you're also amazing. She fixed the decor earlier this afternoon."

"They had you working?" Mayor Undersee asked.

"I was helping out," Katniss said softly.

"You were the only one. I can't even tell you where the other bridesmaids were," Peeta said.

"Father, Father…" Madge called out.

"Madge dear," Mayor Undersea greeted.

Madge's lips were thinned. Despite her unpleasant attitude, Madge looked gorgeous in her princess-cut cathedral-length ball gown. It looked like she had sparkly white coral motifs on her dress. Cinna had done an extraordinary job on her gown. It was masterful, it made her look regal. "You cannot expect me to have…that woman in my wedding party."

"Now Madge," Mayor Undersee began.

"Father, I have to tolerate having her here, but now my pictures will be ruined. I mean have you seen her, she's an unattractive troll."

"Madge," her father said.

"Why can't cousin Mavey take her place, she is after all family?" Madge argued.

Katniss realized Madge didn't recognize her and she decided to keep quiet and see what happened.

"Madge, you will do what your father wants," Roberta said, and winked at Katniss. She too had come to the same conclusion as Katniss. "He is paying for this entire affair after all."

Katniss could see Madge formulating the all too familiar you're not my mother when her father cut her off.

"I told you. I did not agree with you marrying that young man, but you wanted him. So out of love, I have done all of this. However, per our agreement, Highbottom signed an ironclad prenuptial agreement. And you were to have Katniss as your maid of honor and Prim as a bridesmaid."

"But…at least Prim is presentable. My pictures will be fine with her in the back…but Katniss…" Madge looked and finally spotted Katniss.

Katniss was sure Madge would recognize her.

"Ugh, I'd rather have this woman here. She's better looking than Katniss. She will even look good standing next to Peeta."

Muriel snickered.

"Madge," her father opened his mouth and shut it, he gave Katniss an apologetic smile.

"Fine," Madge ground out. She huffed away her gown, nearly knocking down the easel with an image of her and her fiance.

"Just like her mother," Muriel muttered.

Roberta chuckled.

"I am sorry for my daughter's rude behavior." The Mayor rubbed his face. "It's my fault for spoiling her after her mother's death."

"People do funny things while grieving," Katniss replied.

"You know it was me who introduced your father and mother. He was so brilliant, like you. I was lucky to have known him."

"And if not for you, I wouldn't have married Peeta's father," Muriel said.

Gentle music began to play. A sign for all of the guests to go to their seats.

"I think I better grab my seat. Remember Peeta don't let this one out of your sight," Muriel said to Peeta.

"I think I'll join you. Edward honey, you better join Madge I think they're about to start." Roberta left with Muriel. Mayor Undersee walked away to find his daughter.

Peeta glanced around, his face was red. "I'm sorry I thought you were an employee…I didn't know you were that Katniss."

"How many Katniss's do you know?" The cheeky words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"Not many," Peeta chuckled.

"So how long have you known the groom?"

"To be honest the only guy I know is Finnick. He's in the fraternity that my brother went to. I've known those guys but never really hung out with them. Truthfully I think they picked me because I'll look good in the pictures."

Katniss found herself laughing.

"Honestly I'm glad the pictures are over with. I think after this I'm going to get a ticket and go back home."

"Why?"

"I'm not wanted here. I'm not going to stick around to be around people who don't like me."

"What if one of those people were your sibling?" The question slipped out of Katniss's mouth before she could even stop them.

"I overheard the way your sister spoke to you. You were only trying to help out the bride, not ruin her day. If anything without you the decor wouldn't have been finished."

"You heard all of that," Katniss felt her face become heated. It was embarrassing for her to know others had heard her sister's demeaning words.

"My older brother was that way. I love him but we don't get along. He disapproved of everything I did. I had to walk away."

Peeta's words were like a revelation to her. Her eyes found her sister. She loved her baby sister with every bone in her body but at the moment their relationship was toxic to Katniss. The words Primrose had spoken about their father hurt. The way Prim perceived Katniss hurt. Katniss looked up at Peeta.

"I learned a long time ago that family doesn't have to be blood-related," Peeta said.

Her sister threw her head back and laughed. It was a girlish yet feminine laugh intended to allure Cato. Cinna's words came to her in that instance. Both men were correct. As she watched Prim flirt with a tipsy Cato it dawned on Katniss that her sister was no longer a defenseless little girl. She was an adult.

Her mother was an adult.

They were all adults and her mother and sister didn't need her as much as she needed them. Katniss wanted more out of life. She wanted to feel safe again like when her dad was alive. She wanted that sense of family. Peeta was right she didn't have to be related to someone to call them family.

Prim was able to care for herself. Cato leaned over and whispered something in her sister's ears and her sister gave him a lusty look. Cato grinned and as he leaned back he nearly tripped over Finnick.

"Finn, you're cramping my style…" Cato looked flushed and his eyes were a little watery.

Marvel handed Cato a flask and the man drank from it and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Both of them chuckled. As they took more swigs from the flask. Marvel and Cato were clearly intoxicated.

"Marvel, Cato please find your partners," The wedding planner said. She was a redhead that looked like a fox. She wore sensible low-heeled shoes as she briskly put everyone in order.

She hovered over the group, her eyes quickly darted from looking at the tablet and looking about wildly at the group assembled.

"Peeta, would you happen to know where I can find Katniss Everdeen," the woman asked as soon as she reached them.

"I'm Katniss." Katniss said.

"Oh, I thought you were…well they said you…" The woman stammered.

"You thought I was ugly?" Katniss prompted.

"The way the bride described you…" she stammered then she took a deep breath. "We need you and Peeta to be ready to walk. I'll give you a signal to line up in front of the doors and then you march down the aisle."

Katniss smiled.

"Alright everyone please take your places," the woman shouted.

The procession began and Katniss watched a stately couple make their way through the doors. Katniss hung back as she watched the harried wedding planner try to wrangle the bridal party and the groomsmen. Katniss watched as her sister left with a drunk Cato followed by the other bridesmaids. It was finally her turn.

Katniss put her hand over Peeta's arm before taking a deep breath. There was a brief flicker of recognition as Prim recognized Katniss. Her sister's look was glacial, to say the least. Katniss stood waiting for the bride unaware of the appreciative glances she was getting from the groomsmen.

Madge floated down the aisle and did not pay any attention to Katniss; Madge was too busy hamming it up for the cameras and the audience. When the ceremony was over Katniss was glad that the reception was followed immediately by the cocktail hour and the dinner. They were waiting for the meals and Katniss was starving.

The meals were late and so the dance floor had opened up and people were dancing, and the drinks were flowing. Cato and Marvel were getting progressively louder. Waiters were walking around with small little hors d'oeuvres.

Mr. Undersea had been introducing Katniss around the room. She had more business cards in her hand than there were flowers in Madge's bouquet. Katniss saw a waiter with a silver platter loaded with bacon-wrapped scallops.

"I wouldn't eat those if I were you," Peeta said by her side.

Katniss turned around to ask why not when she saw that he had a slider in his hand. "Unless you're willing to lose some fingers I suggest you move that away from my face."

"Actually this is for you," Peeta offered.

"Oh, you're my hero," Katniss snatched the slider and with two bites it was gone.

"Katniss," Mayor Undersea called her.

"Hide me," Katniss whispered.

"Tell you what, I'll go get you food. Talk to the Mayor then meet me by the ice sculpture of Madge."

"As long as the food doesn't make me sick I'll eat anything," Katniss said.

"I'll take it you're not one of those salad queens."

"Either you cough up a salad or stop talking. I'm about to go outside and munch on the grass."

Peeta laughed. "Point taken."

"Katniss," the Mayor waived her over.

Katniss watched another waiter walk by.

"Trust me I get you the food." He winked and said, "I'll see you soon."

Katniss was headed to the mayor when a waiter got close. She was about to get an hors d'oeuvres when she was pulled back. Prim pulled her into a room where Madge was with the other girls.

"What are you doing wearing that!" Prim whispered furiously.

"Are you trying to upstage the bride?" Glimmer accused.

"Yeah," Cashmere said narrowing her eyes. 

This was a little too reminiscent of every movie where the Cinderella character was confronted by the antagonists. Over the years it could be the evil stepsisters, the mean co-workers, the popular 'it' crowd, or the disappointed family members. Katniss stood straight; she wasn't going to be beaten down.

"I'm not going to justify your behavior by letting you beat up on me. I've done nothing wrong. Madge congratulations on your nuptials. I hope you have a pleasant life and that you will never need the prenuptial agreement your father put in place. Primrose, I think it's time you grow up. I love you but I've been killing myself paying for your expenses and your education and all I seem to get from you is rotten vitriol. It's time for you to grow up. I'm not paying for your education or your lifestyle."

"Doesn't matter, mom will take care of me."

"Our mother. She can't afford it," Katniss "You're such a big fat liar. Mom…"

"Why would I lie? Do the math. Numbers do not lie. Mother hasn't worked in years. Where do you think she gets the money?" Katniss felt no victory at her words but they were truthful and were coming from a place where she put herself first for once.

"From her family. Our grandfather left her a small inheritance."

"Oh Primrose, there is no inheritance. It's been me…" Katniss wondered what lies her mother had put inside Primrose's head. "I've been the one sending money home. The one who has paid for your education, and the one who has spoiled you rotten. It's time that I stopped and let you be an adult."

"I don't believe you," Primrose spat.

"Don't," Made said. "She's only doing this because she's jealous. Jealous of you, of me, of how hot I am."

Katniss smirked, "Right."

"The only reason you're here is because of my father. I think it's time you left. Glimmer, call security. I don't want this riff-raff in my wedding."

It didn't matter at this point. Katniss was ready to leave.

The door to the room opened, and Peeta walked in. The music blasted in, and there was shouting. The room became quiet when Peeta shut the door. "Hey there you are, I was looking for you." Peeta took a look around the room, "Are you alright?"

"Yep." Katniss felt lighter than in years. She smiled at Peeta. "I was about to leave."

Peeta offered her his arm and she gratefully took it.

"Oh Madge, I forgot to tell you. You need to go speak to Cato and Marvel. They're trying to hit on the officiant's wife."

"What?" Madge said.

Peeta opened the door and there was Cato and Marvel grinding against Madge's ice sculpture.

"No!" Madge screeched as she got up and walked out with her group. Prim wouldn't look Katniss in the face.

Katniss felt a stab of pain in her heart. At this moment she wouldn't cry, she'd save that for private time. Peeta put his hand on hers and gently squeezed.

"One day your sister is going to see that her friends are not supportive and she's going to regret this moment."

"I know but it still hurts. I love her so much," Katniss said.

There was a loud yell and both looked out of the door to see Madge falling into her cake. Marvel and Cato were on the table laughing as the only thing that could be seen was her red-bottomed shoes sticking out from a mountain of cake.

"I think this is our cue to leave," Katniss said.

As he walked with her out of the room Peeta turned to her and said. "I know this is going to sound very douchey. But I flew here with my mother. She's got her bags already packed and ready to leave. I wouldn't mind giving you a ride home or having you forever with me. Did I say there was a bounty of food aboard my plane? I have cheese buns."

"That is quite the request?"

"So I take it forever, is off the table?"

"I didn't say it wasn't…" Katniss was contemplating what a cheese bun was.

"Okay, so I got my swan chance?"

"Swan?" Katniss frowned as they walked across the reception to exit. Peeta pulled her into a dance. From the distance, she saw Mayor Undersee nod at her

"You know a story without a name, this is our meet cute…"

Katniss laughed. This was her Swan story.

The End….

Epilogue Sort of…

Katniss sat aboard Peeta's private plane. After the wedding, Katniss and Peeta started dating. They were going out for a few months. Katniss had never been so happy. She missed her sister and mother, but she knew they had to learn to defend themselves and learn to live on their own two feet.

"Are we ready," Peeta's father said, clasping his hands and walking into the cockpit.

Peeta and his father were going to fly his mother and father on a small vacation in another district. She bit into one of the flaky morsels of bread. The fragrance of the melting cheese and herbs made her mouth water as she moaned. This was her third one.

"Good huh," Muriel said.

"I'd marry your son for just these," Katniss said with her mouth full of food.

"I think that can be arranged," Muriel said.

Katniss's eyes widened. "Um…"

"Mom," Peeta said as he walked on board.

"She's a good girl, and smart to boot," Peeta's father yelled from the co-pilot's seat.

"My husband is right, plus, I need some intelligent grandbabies."

"MOM! DAD!" Peeta exclaimed. His face was red.

Muriel smiled and waved the plate in front of her face. "He made them from scratch."

Peeta gave his mother that please-stop-look before saying, "I wanted to have something to eat on the flight. I was nervous about the trip."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Katniss felt guilty. "I'm eating your food."

"No don't worry, I don't mind," Peeta grinned, taking one from her hand. "Just save me one or two."

"Don't worry Everdeen…you can keep your name if you want…I just want a grandbaby, in return."

"MOM!" Peeta exclaimed.

Peeta turned to her his hand rubbing his neck, his face red, "Don't…listen…unless you know… that forever thing…that's still on the table."

Katniss grinned. "If you promised to make me cheese buns, I'll take it into consideration."

Muriel laughed. "I told you she's a keeper from the get-go, I don't know what you're waiting for."

"Mom, please…"

Katniss couldn't help chuckling. Peeta and his family were always this way. His mother was right, though about the women his brothers married. Those women were only interested in the money, that's why they were not invited.

Peeta was going to head for the cockpit when his mother winked at Katniss but addressed Peeta. "Son, why don't I fly with your father? You come back here and get to know this lovely girl, entertained."

"Are you sure?'

"I don't mind, besides this'll be a bonding time for your father and me, and your dad gets a thrill when I fly." His mother saucily said.

"I think I need my ears checked. Do you know if it's possible for that memory to be erased?"

Katniss laughed. As Peeta leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "I've been dying to do that all morning."

"Mmmm…" Katniss hummed contentedly.

"Sorry about my mom and her pushing for a wedding and a grandbaby."

"No need, she's just trying to take care of you."

"I just wish they'd let me woo you on my own," Peeta said.

"You're doing just fine, wooing me," Katniss said.

"I am?" He grinned.

"You are, and if you keep me feeding me I won't even notice the wedding."

Peeta laughed. "Alright duly noted. Just remember this moment when I propose. Because forever is on the table for us."

Katniss settled back with her plate, like a dragon hoarding a golden treasure. Her swan story was a beautiful one.

[kirstydreaming]

Madeline Sonnendecker

[beyourselfchulanmaria]

茯苓 Poria cocos : 祛濕

白朮 Atractylodes macrocephala : 健脾 🌿😊 Thanks🙏

《白朮茯苓祛濕茶食譜》Atractylodes macrocephala & Poria cocos - Chinese herbology Tea (soup) Recipe：準備白朮5克、茯苓5克、陳皮2克。先將所有食材洗乾淨，在鍋子裡加入適量的水煮沸，轉小火，再加入所有的食材煮2分鐘，即可飲用。 good having it in summer. xoxo

《內經》說。諸濕腫滿，皆屬於脾。濕氣是脾虛運化失常而產生的產物，想要一勞永逸地擺脫濕氣的體質，健脾是非常重要的事情。中藥的藥對：白朮和茯苓是祛濕健脾的好搭檔。兩者的功效相比，白朮重在健脾，而茯苓則重在祛濕。

茯苓能除脾胃的濕，也能除頭面上的濕。它有一個很神奇的作用，便是可以引導濕氣往下走，通過尿液排出體外，再趁機好好地修復脾胃。以茯苓加入飲食，或者泡茶喝，一段時間後，可以明顯感覺臉部的氣色逐漸變好，痘痘也會慢慢減少，不再那麼容易疲累，甚至因為茯苓的利水祛濕作用，而會發現體重的降低！濕氣除了是健康殺手，還是顏值殺手！那麽，這個夏天記得喝茯苓茶湯喔！

常聽中醫說「濕氣」，究竟濕氣是什麼？對人體有什麼影響？許多民眾大概都會列舉出一些濕氣的症狀，比如水腫、大便黏馬桶、舌頭有齒痕、容易疲倦、代謝變差、易胖等。被濕氣纏上，便是長時間在健康上的鬥爭。但是，濕氣除了是健康殺手以外，還是顏值殺手！

濕氣就好比是不流動的水，一段時間後，這水便會慢慢變黑，如果這水停留的位置就在臉上，那就是眼袋或者是黑眼圈，甚至整張臉也會變得不再容光煥發，而黯淡無光。如果這「濕」再加上「熱」，糾結在臉上，便是痘痘粉刺狂冒，還常常面冒油光，油脂分泌旺盛。

因此，想要膚如凝脂，擁有一張潔白亮麗的臉，把體內的濕氣拔除，是首要的任務！祛濕可以選擇的管道有兩個，一是選擇祛濕利水的食材，二是選擇健脾補土的食材。

《內經》說。諸濕腫滿，皆屬於脾。濕氣是脾虛運化失常而產生的產物，想要一勞永逸地擺脫濕氣的體質，健脾是非常重要的事情。中藥的藥對：白朮和茯苓是祛濕健脾的好搭檔。兩者的功效相比，白朮重在健脾，而茯苓則重在祛濕。

茯苓能除脾胃的濕，也能除頭面上的濕。它有一個很神奇的作用，便是可以引導濕氣往下走，通過尿液排出體外，再趁機好好地修復脾胃。以茯苓加入飲食，或者泡茶喝，一段時間後，可以明顯感覺臉部的氣色逐漸變好，痘痘也會慢慢減少，不再那麼容易疲累，甚至因為茯苓的利水祛濕作用，而會發現體重的降低！

白朮茯苓祛濕茶食譜：準備白朮5克、茯苓5克、陳皮2克。先將所有食材洗乾淨，在鍋子裡加入適量的水煮沸，轉小火，再加入所有的食材煮2分鐘，即可飲用。

[malachia-il-bibliotecario]

let's please take a moment to appreciate the juicy end-of-stanza caesurae in fresca rosa novella

[chinesehanfu]

[China History]How were “luxury toiletries” made and created in ancient China 1,250 years ago?［Eng Sub］

This episode is set in the second year of the Tang Dynasty Tianbao era (743 AD), during the reign of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. It tells the story of a maidservant of the emperor's beloved concubine, Mei Fei 梅妃 (also known as Jiang Caiping/江采萍), who created the "Dendrobium Pearl Bath Bean/石斛珍珠澡豆" that Mei Fei/梅妃 had developed. According to the "Beiji Qianjin Yaofang《备急千金要方》" (Essential Formulas Worth a Thousand in Gold for Emergencies) by Tang-dynasty physician Sun Simiao:

洗面药：猪胰（五具切细）、毕豆面（一升）、皂角（三挺）、栝蒌实、葳蕤、白茯苓、土瓜根（各五两）；上七味捣筛，将猪胰拌和，更捣令匀，每但取洗手面，白日白净如素。

【Translation】：

"Facial wash medicine: pig pancreas (cut into fine pieces), beanstalk powder (one sheng/升), Gleditsia sinensis Lam(three pieces), Trichosanthes real, flourishing, white Poria cocos, and five taels each of soil melon roots; mix the seven ingredients, grind and sift, then mix with the pig pancreas, and grind together. Use the resulting powder for washing hands and face, making them as white and smooth as porcelain during the day"

(Note: The video also incorporates a segment on the tribute pearls from Hepu, filmed with the process of "opening oysters and harvesting pearls," though the historical accuracy of the video may have some artistic liberties, so viewers should be mindful of this).

The recipe for the "Dendrobium Pearl Bath Bean/石斛珍珠澡豆" was highly sought after by the imperial concubines and princesses of the time, who affectionately referred to Mei Fei as "Hu Zhu Fu Ren/斛珠夫人" (Lady of Pearls). Not only was she skilled in traditional Chinese medicine, but Mei Fei was also a talented dancer. She was one of the eight great female talents in the Tang Dynasty, having choreographed the famous Tang court dance "Jinghong Dance/惊鸿舞" (Dance of the Scared Swan).

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🧚🏻‍Production & Model/Makeup：@曾嚼子

🔗Xiaohongshu:https://www.xiaohongshu.com/discovery/item/66c5bca4000000001f038b85?

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[thehelpss]

Olá, poria fazer h.names para perfil dark?

salut les bébés, eu estarei liberando h.names para vocês usarem. Eu espero que vocês gostem, beijos!

H.names:

❪Мы и я❫

𝗕͟ ‘ L͟𝗔𝗖𝗞 —

𝗗’ a͟l͟𝗺𝗮.

𝘼𝗞𝟰𝟳 ，♠️

𝗣&𝗕 — мир

𝗪𝗘, 𝗹𝗼v͟e͟.

𝟬𝟯 ⟋дс — 𝗺𝗲.

— 𝘁ū

Caso use, dê os devidos créditos me marcando no Instagram. ( @nortalzy ) !!

[nobutakafairclough]

I post this picture a lot when talking about my fav. XIV ship and just so everyone knows it was made by PoriA over on X . I have no artistic talent I promise you. Please check them out. PoriA makes so much amazing art. Please like and follow them.

[thievinghippo]

Time to ante up! I promised a My Time fact for each person to like my kickstarter post. As of right now, there are 13 likes

The Day of the Bright Sun is on Spring 19. That's the day the famous builder, Peach, used a machine to tear through the clouds and let humanity get back to the surface

The calendar is based on that famous day. The first game in the series, My Time at Poria (MTaP) and My Time at Sandrock (MTaS) is set in Year 98 (after Peach). My Time at Evershine (MTaE) is set about three years after those two games

Before Peach, humans lived underground, because the surface wasn't hospitable, thanks to the Age of Corruption. AI and greed caused a world-ending event. That specific day is called 'The Day of Calamity'

Back when humanity lived underground, sell-swords appeared. Eventually, they declared themselves knights and tried to uphold chivalry and honor. However, since Peach, the need of knights have greatly diminished. Though everyone has heard of The Storm Knight

There are eight current city-states that make up the Alliance of the Free Cities. There used to be more, but war and tragedy descended on some of the cities

(MTaE) is not a city in the Alliance. It's in the Alliance territory, but it's a brand new settlement, trying to bring more people up north. (My hope is that the end game is Evershine trying to get city status)

Why are people needed up north? Because of Duvos. A totalitarian country that are hoarding relics (pre-age of darkness tech). They have started more than one war and it's feared they're ready to start another

Builders are the backbone of the economy. They belong to the commerce guild and take commissions as well as help out their home city. You play a builder in MTaP and MTaS. In MTaE, you are the governor of the settlement

Each town has a Civil Corps. The Civil Corps are responsible for for 'keeping the peace' so to speak. A surprising number of events needing the Civil Corps happen in each game!

The Great Begeondan is an unexplored region of the world. According to the wiki, AIs and rare monsters roam. Occasionally, a team of explorers will go out there, but they hardly ever make it back

The Peripheries boarders the western part of the Alliance of the Free Cities. While not as dangerous as the Great Begeondan, the monsters there destroyed an entire city-state in Peach 68

The Hulu brothers from MTaP are septuplets, born over two days. So three have a birthday on one day, four the next

Mort, from MTaS, is almost 90 years old, and helped found Sandrock in Peach 27

And that's all for now! Like what you see? Back the kickstarter!

[nam-ore]

É engraçado como as vezes o maior impedimento para o nosso milagre somos nós mesmos. As ordens do Senhor por diversas vezes são simples e diretas, mas antes mesmos de recebê-las já criamos uma expectativa de como será feito, qual caminho tomar, o que fazer, e quando recebemos a determinação vinda de Deus, e vemos que é diferente do que pensamos, duvidamos, olhamos com desdém, ou deboche, como Sara que riu ao ouvir a promessa da sua gravidez, ela não confiou no processo que o Senhor havia prometido e resolveu fazer do jeito dela, causando divisão na sua família e impactando várias e várias gerações. Confiamos mais naquilo que julgamos ser o certo do que nas proclamações do Senhor. Naamã foi um general do exército, muito bem conceituado pelo rei da Síria porque por meio dele o Senhor salvou o povo, era leproso, porém exercia seu ofício com êxito e a bíblia o descreve como valente. Foi até Eliseu para ser curado. Eliseu deu uma simples orientação para lavar-se no rio sete vezes. Mas ele tratou com desdém: "Eu pensava que ele viria em pessoa e, diante de mim invocaria o Senhor, seu Deus, poria a mão no lugar afetado e me curaria da lepra." [2Rs 5:11]. Naamã mesmo com todas aquelas qualidades, sendo um bom servo, foi debochado com a ordem do Senhor dizendo que na Síria também há rios, que se soubesse que era apenas se lavar ele não teria viajado tanto e depois se retirou em cólera. Parece um absurdo gigantesco, mas quantas você eu fazemos isso? Comparamos o processo de Deus e depois o desprezamos pois julgamos ter um processo muito mais elaborado e melhor. Nos irritamos com o Senhor por nos pedir algo simples demais. Porque queremos o extraordinário. Quantos processos de Deus deixamos de passar por falta de confiança. Quantas vezes andamos em círculo no deserto porque Deus nos deu um caminho e resolvemos simplesmente não seguir e procurar a saída sozinhos? Foi ao profeta Elias que Deus se revelou como brisa suave e não como o terremoto, nem como fogo, nem como vento forte. O natural também revela o poder de Deus. Se Deus exigisse o sobrenatural nos queixaríamos contra Ele por nos ter posto um grande peso. E isso os servos de Naamã tiveram sabedoria para o lembrarem: "Se o senhor estava disposto a fazer algo difícil, por que não fazer o fácil?" Tomas de Kempis diz na Imitação de Cristo "[...] Mas se não vences o fácil, como triunfarás do difícil?" Pare de virar as costas pros processos que Deus te manda porque você achou simples demais, fácil demais, porque tem seus achismos que de outro jeito será melhor. Para de atrasar a sua cura, o seu milagre.

Devocional 2 Reis 5: 1-14

[girlactionfigure]

⚠️ FRIDAY - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

Erev Shabbat - Parshat Barak - Numbers 22:2 - Balak, the king of Moab, summons the prophet Balaam to curse the people of Israel.  Three times, from three different vantage points, Balaam attempts to pronounce his curses; each time, blessings issue forth instead. Balaam also prophesies on the end of the days and the coming of Moshiach (the Jewish messiah).

⚠️ WORLD WIDE COMPUTER OUTAGE .. Israel impact (not a cyber attack - an update error)

ISRAEL EMERGENCY NUMBERS MAY BE DOWN:

MDA 101 - alternatives call Hatzalah 1221 (who report they are operating fine) or 100 police

Electric Company - instead of 103, call 054-5838074 or report on Facebook page.

Working fine: 100 police, 102 fire

Some Israeli companies impacted - may accept only cash or be unable to do business for a while:

Israel Post

Ikea

Delek gas stations

Various hospitals - Shaarei Tzedek reports recovered, normal ops, Hadassah not on the problem list, Asuta Ashdod working fine

   Affected: Hillel Yaffe, Laniado, Barzilai, Sheba, Wolfson, Shamir Assaf Harofeh, Rambam, Ma'aini Hashua, Nahariya, Poria, Bnei Zion, Ziv, the French Hospital in Nazareth, the Italian Hospital in Nazareth

Meuhedet health clinics

Clalit health clinics

Carrefour grocery - cash only

Banks HaPoalim, Leumi, Discount

Bank of Israel

Port of Ashdod completely down to ships and trucks

EL AL reports no impact, they don’t use the affected software.

Unrelated - Globes newspaper hacked (not the web site, the newsroom.)

WORLD IMPACT:

AIR TRAVEL - FAA suspending many flights in the US, Berlin flights on hold, Spain flights on hold.

Sky News having disruptions

⚠️HEZBOLLAH THREATENS.. significant retaliation for recent IDF targeted eliminations.  Northern towns should be on ALERT, take precautions in the north.

▪️RUMORS ABOUT PM.. may suspend trip to the US.  At the same time, “Israeli officials estimate that the Netanyahu-Biden meeting will not take place on Monday as planned”, unclear if due to Biden’s health or US election politics.

▪️FIN. MINISTER.. Sanctions from cabinet on PA officials NOT implemented by IDF and Shin Bet for the last 3 weeks???

▪️FBI USES ISRAELI SOFTWARE.. Washington Post: The FBI hacked into the phone of the assassin of Trump using the software of the Israeli company Celebrity.

▪️ECONOMY.. The Turkish embargo has stopped the import of Hyundai, and it is beginning to seep into Toyota, whose inventory in Israel is also shrinking.

PRESS BRIEFING BY IDF SPOKESPERSON RADM. DANIEL HAGARI - JULY 19, 2024

Overnight, a UAV, which we believe was launched from Yemen, infiltrated from the sea to our west and struck a building in central Tel Aviv. This impact resulted in the death of one civilian and lightly injured eight others. We extend our condolences to the bereaved family and wish a speedy recovery to the injured.

No alert was activated during the incident, and we are thoroughly investigating the matter. Our initial findings suggest the UAV was a Samad-3, an Iranian weapon likely upgraded to extend its range. This UAV flew from Yemen to Tel Aviv. Iran supports, funds, and arms its proxies in Gaza, Judea and Samaria, Lebanon, Syria, and Yemen, as evidenced by last night's event. UAV threats have been a constant challenge since the beginning of the war across all our borders. Dozens of UAVs have been launched from Yemen alone, most of which have been intercepted or shot down before entering Israeli territory. The majority were intercepted by an American task force under U.S. CENTCOM, while the rest were intercepted by Israeli Air Force planes or defense systems.

Simultaneously with the Tel Aviv incident, another UAV attempting to infiltrate from the east was intercepted and shot down outside of Israel’s borders. We are investigating the connection between the two incidents.

We are conducting a thorough inquiry to understand why the UAV was not identified as a threat and intercepted before it struck. An initial inquiry was conducted this morning, and we will continue to review the findings and update the public accordingly.

I want to emphasize that our defense is not foolproof. We are strengthening our air patrols and airspace protection across the country. We are continuously improving our capabilities to better protect the citizens of Israel.

There is no change in the Home Front Command directives. Should there be any changes, we will immediately inform the public.

Overnight and this morning, the Chief of the General Staff conducted several situational assessments. We have increased our defensive capabilities in Israel’s skies with additional planes and other measures to improve detection, alert, and interception capabilities. The incident on the ground was managed cooperatively by the Israel Police, Magen David Adom, and the Israel Fire and Rescue Services, who provided vital details for the inquiry.

In the north, the UAV threat is a daily challenge due to short-range launches, differing from last night’s incident. We are studying the northern threat to improve our response. We recognize the ongoing challenges faced by residents in the north.

In the past day, we have eliminated six Hezbollah terrorists and struck fifteen targets from the air and ground in the north.

We are engaged in a multi-front war, operating in all arenas and defending the country's skies daily. We are addressing threats both near and far.

In the coming days, we will continue our situational assessments to understand the incident better, determine the source of the threat, and decide on the necessary defensive and operational responses against those who threaten the State of Israel.

[rita-rae-siller]

The White Cloaks: Religious Faction Overview

The White Cloaks

A religious sect of knights in the Garmoran Military dedicated to Gora. They devoutly follow the Isvaad’ahl, the Garmoran holy texts that date back to the days of Old Akar. It dictates how the soldiers spend their day, the way they fight, and how they die. The scripture is widely followed throughout the central empire, but on the fringes, where Garmoran religion hasn’t taken root yet, few follow its laws. In essence, it’s like a polytheistic version of the bible, full of stories of old Akarii heroes and legends, along with newer additions from the founding of the first Garmoran empire.

The order was not always part of the empire’s military directly. During the first empire, they were an independent organization that assisted the emperor in times of need, alongside three other religious orders; the Silver Strings, the Silent Sisters, and the Red Legion.Over time, with careful selection of leadership influenced by the nobility and the royal dynasties, the White Cloaks were brought into the imperial army’s fold.Now, they serve as guards for the highest and mightiest of the empire. 

More below the cut!

Gold Division: Protects the emperor directly. Two captains, forty soldiers per captain. This is the most coveted of divisions. It is almost exclusively made up of the children of nobilities and the high ranking knights born into the order.

Silver Division: Protects the Empress, as well as Matilde and Alura. Two captains, one has twenty men, one has sixty. There were three captains, but Matilde got Captain Moraga fired, so now there are only 2. Alura’s retinue absorbed Matilde’s

Ruby Division: Protects Cardinal Laemos, leader of the Temple of Gora. One captain, fifty soldiers.

Sapphire Division: Protects Cardinal Movros, Temple of Itep. One captain, forty soldiers 

Obsidian Division: Protects Cardinal Lathima, Temple of Silus. One Captain, twenty soldiers. (she has even more guards from another order as well, but the White Cloaks are a courtesy of the emperor.)

Topaz Division: Protects Cardinal Poria, Temple of Sodek. One Captain, forty soldiers

Diamond Division: Protects Cardinal Hakke, Temple of Aru. One Captain, forty soldiers

The order is a shadow of its former self (cut from thousands of warriors across the central empire to just a few hundred soldiers). The emperor and the College have done a lot of work to keep these powerful warriors on a tight leash out of fear of an uprising.

Because of this, many of the knighthood have come to believe the Avaareyani dynasty has turned from the gods. There are mutterings of a Holy War, mutiny, and dark times for the empire. Aalvor is among the older knights that believes the timing is right for the next Hariiv to arrive (More on this in a separate doc)

The knighthood is split on their opinion of Alura, but many believe she shows signs of being the next messiah. 

Most of the soldiers are trained from a very young age. Some promise children to the order before they’re born. Once upon a time, the order consisted of soldiers from all walks of life. Now, it is more of an exclusive club.

Only true Garmoran’s can be promised now. Nobles will promise their children to the order just days after birth, which fills a good majority of their ranks. Aalvor is a prime example! He is actually one of Dioclaetus’ younger brothers. Their father promised Aalvor to the Knights hours after his birth. His oaths prevent him from ever seeking the throne, not that he wants it anyway. He's too busy being a killer dad and a great dude in general.

Men and women may serve, but the majority are men. 

Alura almost took the oaths, but Dioclaetus decided she was too useful to keep sequestered in his guard. But she’s in good with a lot of them.

[444names]

Names generated from scientific names of fungi (all 5,925 available on the Wikipedia's list)

Requested by @the-mad-owl

Abrus Acepseum Aceus Acumsis Adigor Adissus Albogens Albulchra Alcia Aleocytorna Aleus Alifertina Alium Allabriusta Alosa Amarnii Amatannii Ambii Ambium Ambum Amondindes Ampapor Amshicutens Andis Angui Anidius Anserosa Ansiens Antianus Antii Aphorandes Aporyospiae Aragnis Arburpula Arcinulata Areida Ariforae Arinii Arinquata Arkei Arnes Aroma Arosporum Arpor Arruffimium Artus Arvioidium Asoida Aspulium Asticustrum Atanivera Aucor Auita Aululicorum Aures...

Badovernia Badsclepila Baericonosa Bakalum Balbelius Banum Barea Baria Barpulis Batus Betus Bileudoxis Blomoralum Bolum Bonii Bookei Brescula Bulospoicum Bulosus Bulum Bulus Calytospon Camisprobae Capra Carista Carium Carus Carvices Cepte Cescum Chizus Chlioscei Choroidunna Chryum Chthralea Cidestia Cineudosum Cinoensei Citrus Clenalica Cobrus Colasmae Colatum Colatunctus Colatursis Colum Comycea Corafria Corrhins Cospensis Crita Crosma Crotina Crotriatina Crusista Crylita Cryza Curkeifis Cyantum Cystata Cystus Derensia Descatus Descolians Deseca Desis Dians Dicae Diflata Dinose Dischoglosa Disporama Ditubtus Donae Drithops Dulins Ebilis Echlomycens Effer Ellius Ellosus Equamnis Escuathides Espillus Everi Excanotis Exiactis Exosphicius Exosubhyri Fasii Fereus Fimpes Fisquigua Flaerquis Flathizona Fluca Flulticus Fofea Folpharis Forboulea Franeinatus Franguilea Frennacrus Fulutium Garioladis Garrungella Garvoranus Gawayatica Gensis Ginum Glacaria Glosapicha Glutipes Godosum Gonicus Gorellus Gosquersa Graccila Griderosum Gridis Grinocous Groogrospax Grostus Halaccor Harandes Heatum Hejugis Heldoxylis Helididum Hellaris Hemis Herocedius Hinus Hirimaureus Homangusta Homis Horma Horminsis Hyabrillus Hydnus Hyllus Imatifer Inalfidiae Inarius Inatabides Inatrum Ineisplulva Inodopheus Iricupta Issimosinia Itietus Ivirellus Joris Laccolosis Lakii Lebidulus Lecina Lenii Lentivipaer Leptorula Lerimplepia Lestradina Licocyana Licystriae Lifevidula Linsepina Lophydnum Losporum Lutesis Magastri Magglae Maitogarium Marginus Marii Matris Matus Mazochum Mclionea Mensecum Meragyria Meteus Metis Micifla Micium Micobranum Miconii Miculosum Millongus Minii Minosa Miranium Misans Mitasta Moenuigina Moeophae Monicosteum Moraia Morens Mormis Morosa Mospanarsis Mosperegii Mosternes Mureomasti Mustenii Myceria Myceus Nacer Nachillacum Naefovis Nathecirium Nempereolum Nennia Neophilina Nerbus Nesilii Niaeus Nicacryphis Nicides Nipinus Nobarnilis Nosporus Nosus Ochochiasis Ocysteriata Odofrum Ollis Olytogoniae Orastata Ovichmaxa Pacassi Paceroricae Pardum Parginarbus Parianii Paridopura Paris Parportii Partens Pecoens Peoli Permer Pernus Petitustria Petosi Phila Philvopidus Pholus Phorcuns Pilulian Pingensis Pinophora Pipireus Plifense Plosa Polavea Porandium Porantia Poria Poriae Porileyhes Pormeale Porminanii Porus Potica Priodole Procasis Pseda Psicum Psisporpus Pudolans Puina Pycesirmina Pycorix Pyria Pyriae Quanealiens Quatus Rambridula Ranaokenae Relle Renus Repse Rhilum Rhina Rhoaneci Rhystensis Rianens Ridens Rocrammatum Roharus Ronerrhosa Rosinara Rosubsticis Rubdium Rystidum Sacalma Salis Sanonium Sariculata Scarcius Sceis Scenicanta Scerplorma Schis Sclatellus Scola Scysta Seoneoncius Sericius Serus Setii Siconii Silifola Sillia Sonemiyana Spacileum Sphiguciae Spilis Sporacius Sporana Sporia Sporis Stennipes Steogenula Sticus Stigens Stomata Strea Stricolens Strius Stroma Stryvae Subseum Sucidius Suktermae Surpus Surum Survum Suscepicae Systis Tariae Tarna Tayalum Tensis Teobratra Tesis Theragus Ticoris Ticumarea Tinuteosus Tosus Trianginus Trium Trodensis Tronicabens Trosissum Trosp Tsubca Typtum Ulanda Ulmiyanta Ulpha Unces Unciffla Undubea Ungus Urgus Uricii Urides Vagiae Valle Velladellus Vellata Venermicum Vercolinus Verdium Vinicus Virotius Vreptobonii Walleatus Wesmus Xyllaeri Xyllex Yatii Zandes Zella Zermunna Zhodotii

[madamlaydebug]

How can medicinal mushrooms support your mood and emotions?👀⁠

⁠

[Hit SAVE so you can get these little miracle workers later!]⁠

⁠

🍄Lion’s Mane: In a study of 30 women who were randomly assigned a snack of cookies containing Lion’s Mane or placebo cookies for 4 weeks, the Lion’s Mane group reported a significant reduction in feelings of helplessness, irritability and anxiety (Biomedical Research, 2010).⁠

⁠

🍄Maitake: Researchers in 2017 found that Maitake had promising effects on mood and suggested it could be “a safe medical food supplement for the patient with depression” (Pharmaceutical Biology, 2017). This mushroom also acts as an adaptogenic food and can lower the stress hormone cortisol (Northern American Journal of Medical Sciences, 2011).⁠

⁠

🍄Poria: Researchers in 2020 discovered that by calming the overreaction of the immune system and regulating our important neurotransmitters, including feel-good hormones serotonin and dopamine, Poria had a positive effect on mood. They also suggested that it could be “a traditional herbal⁠

potential medicine for the treatment of depression.” (Journal of⁠

Enthnopharmacology)⁠

⁠

🍄Reishi: This powerful mushroom has been shown to reverse the decline in serotonin in the brain, meaning more of this happy hormone is circulating the brain to keep a positive mindset (Applied Microbiology and Biotechnology, 2021). Additionally, Reishi can help avoid low blood sugar, a common trigger for bad moods.

[coldground]

Acordei um belo dia e percebi que sentia novamente. Não sabia ao certo o que era, depois de tanto tempo vivendo inerte, absorta, apática. Talvez fosse ansiedade, começo de um infarto, má digestão… Depois de muito analisar, considerar e até cogitar alguns exames, percebi que era amor. Chegou muito quieto e inesperado, quase um susto, na forma de uma figura de cabelos castanhos e com o sorriso mais lindo que eu já vi nessa vida e talvez em outras. Quando a gente passa por muita coisa ruim, chega a se assustar quando em contato com o que é bom, dá medo. Mas o desgosto com a vida me fez pensar que não tinha mais nada a perder. Então fui com medo mesmo. Sinto que se morresse agora, morria feliz. Mas não quero morrer agora. Quero viver uma vida demorada dentro desse amor. Me parece ainda que uma vida demorada não seria suficiente. O meu amor me cuida, me conforta e me cura um pouco todos os dias. Não achei que esse tipo de coisa existisse, me transborda perceber que estava errada. O sorriso dela poria fim numa guerra, como põe fim nas minhas guerras internas. Uma única pessoa vale pra mim mais do que todas as pessoas do mundo. Ela entende meu silêncio, compreende minhas tristezas e limitações, ela entende tudo. É a mais inteligente. Palavras não fariam jus a tamanho acontecimento nessa incerteza que a gente chama de vida. E ela salvou a minha.

[empanator]

Preemptive RIP to The Arcana app as it increasingly seems Dorian is trying to divert people towards themselves and away from the original app. Sucks. I tried Dorian for like all of 2 seconds since it took over and hated it lol on top of its many known flaws. I’ve directly criticized them multiple times over on Twitter.

I will always look fondly over my experience playing The Arcana over the last several years. I will always love how Nadia’s and Portia’s routes made me feel and I will always be thankful for how they impacted my life. The Arcana can stay in my memory just like that forever, and I will not participate in the future that Dorian is creating (or rather destroying) for it. I’ll gladly, actively still love and participate in what The Arcana is and always has been to me.

I’ve been thinking about posting all my fics to an actual fanfic website. May or may not continue posting new work—I write for myself, so posting my writing is just a little bonus if it catches someone else’s attention. Still got several fics with Nadia and Poria I might eventually finish.

[abajuramarelo]

Me apego a dor

04/02/24

Sei que deveria deixar passar, mas tem dias que não consigo distrair a minha mente de você. Ainda é algo recente, não posso dizer que superei. Eu não entendo porque me emocionei tanto. Acho que eu tava presa na ideia que o meu primeiro relacionamento seria pra sempre. Que ele duraria a vida toda. Porque eu real acreditava nisso. Eu jurava que a ex-namorada dele iria cair no soco comigo. Pelo visto, não era ele. Mas ainda o amo. Sei que tenho que parar de amar. Esse amor só me machuca se eu insistir na existência dele. Eu te amo LP. Sei que você não está lendo mais. Tudo bem. Ainda escreverei para você. Esse diário já foi dedicado a várias pessoas no decorrer dos anos que passaram. Eu nunca escrevi com tanto afinco quanto ano passado. Tudo para te deixar atualizado do que se passa na minha vida. Tudo para afirmar meu amor por você.

Dói.

Dói saber que você foi um insensível. Eu realmente era muito boa para você. Boa demais.

Todos os meus amigos acham que você é um babaca agora. Eles já achavam antes. Meio que todo mundo era contra esse relacionamento. Que aparentemente só eu queria estar. Nem você quis permanecer. Eu sozinha lutando contra o vento. Em vão. Essa é a sensação.

O engraçado que por você ser geminiano, eu sempre tive o medo, e se ele enjoar de mim? No final fiquei com essa sensação. Você enjoou de mim. Até as pessoas mais incríveis são enjoativas.

Eu não posso dizer que pressenti o fim. Porque eu não imaginava. Mas eu senti.

Tudo começou com o desencaixe do nosso beijo. Aquele primeiro beijo espetacular que eu tive estava bem longe dos últimos beijos que recebi. Não é que o beijo estava ruim, é como se tivéssemos perdendo a conexão, perdendo a sincronia, perdendo o compasso um do outro.

Talvez eu tenha mudado, andei reclamando que tinha perdido o encanto. Era prazeroso estar com ele. Mas nos três últimos encontros, atritos estavam evidentes. Era a anunciação do nosso fim, mas eu não estava preparada para aceitá-lo.

Ainda não estou.

Ele não estava disposto a lidar com os atritos e segurar minha mão para superar esse momento juntos, fui descartada na primeira oportunidade.

Foi só ele mudar o foco da vida, para achar que nossa relação se deterioraria ao ponto dele não se sentir confortável nela.

A verdade é que ele já estava desconfortável. Não sei se existe erro nisso. Mas eu apenas fui eu. Uma romântica, talvez ter buscado ele no aeroporto tenha sido um erro, talvez querer vê-lo por só uns 10 minutos tenha sido um erro.

Eu simplesmente não sei onde eu errei.

E sei que nada foi um erro. Mas fico me remoendo me perguntando se eu tivesse feito algo diferente, ainda o teria na minha vida.

Mas não posso fingir ser outra pessoa. Eu simplesmente fui eu. Ele não estava preparado para mim. Ele não se achava digno do meu amor. Na verdade isso tudo pode ser vozes da minha cabeça.

Mas amá-lo o fez se sentir culpado.

Ele sempre foi assim.

Ele sempre se chamou de armadilha.

Eu achava que ele era a pessoa perfeita para mim. Porque eu sou uma baita de uma esquisita. Peculiar. Ou o termo que gosto de usar: autêntica.

Agora a agonia que eu sentia todo mês acabou. Sabe aquela sensação que eu sempre esperava o fim. Já que aconteceu, não choro mais de ansiedade. Agora choro porque realmente acabou. Mas as lágrimas são diferentes.

São de certa forma, lágrimas aliviadas da angústia que é amar e não ser recíproco.

Eu sei que ela estava intensificando, e que em algum momento, quem poria um fim a esse relacionamento, seria eu.

Embora eu acredite que nunca abriria mão dele.

Ainda bem que foi ele que soltou a minha.

Agora vamos de pequenas atualizações da minha vida amorosa. Porque esse diário é para isso.

Sigo ficando com o AS, depois da última atualização, já transei com ele mais 2x.

Inclusive uma das vezes foi um dia depois de eu ter escrito que queria transar mais com ele, aconteceu.

Nossa relação é estritamente sexual. Conversamos coisas banais no dia a dia, ele curte meus stories quando eu posto. Não posso negar que ele é um bom FGTS (foda garantida toda semana). Mas não é quem eu busco. Porque bem, ele namora, e tecnicamente, ele se encontrar comigo se configura traição. Porque ele está mentindo para a namorada. No dia seguinte a conheci. A namorada.

Fui em um rolê onde estava os dois possíveis socos na cara que eu poderia receber, não recebi nenhum ainda. Mas ele vai vir, em algum momento. O GM também estava lá com a namorada, ele simplesmente ignorou a minha existência que uma semana antes não parava de me beijar. Tudo bem. Ali percebo que ele escolheu a namorada e me silenciou. Pressinto que ainda vai ter história com ele no futuro. Mas aí no futuro a gente descobre ou não kkk AS também estava no mesmo rolê e diferentemente do GM, ele me cumprimentou e apresentou a namorada dele que parece ser simpática. Não interagimos.

Essa semana marquei de novo date com o menino que tinha sumido, porém novamente ele miou, porque pegou Covid, justificável, talvez saia com ele essa semana, mas não criarei expectativas. Ignorei um cara que tava no meu pé para sair comigo. Ele só queria sair comigo por fetiche. Perdi todo o interesse.

Teve um outro cara que pretendo ver, mas também está em hiatos e sem muitas esperanças. Se eu chegar a ficar com eles darei identificação mínima aqui, mas por enquanto são apenas caras potenciais para transar.

Perdi o bv do ano de beijar mulher. Eu beijo qualquer mulher bonita que vem me pedir um beijo. O beijo dela me lembrou a menina madu. Tinha a mesma personalidade, é desse tipo de sapatao que eu gosto. Inclusive me bateu uma saudade dela enquanto beijava essa outra menina.

E a 2x com o AS foi essa semana. Ele tem fetiche por pé kkk ele gosta de fazer carinho no pé enquanto transa, ficar passando a mão no meu pé. Diferenciado. Mas enquanto ele meter gostoso, não irei reclamar. Gosto dessa frequência de transar com ele. Não sei se vai durar.

Mas no momento não busco relacionamentos profundos, ainda estou me recuperando do LP, que me entreguei de corpo e alma.

Sinto que não estou preparada para mergulhar fundo em uma relação. Desta vez irei só ficar no raso.

E ele namora né, tem esse detalhe. E ainda posso cair no soco com a namorada dele.