#popping back in to break your hearts because mine was broke.

[glittervame]

Your mine

Based off of this fanfic Billy <3

The warmth of the summer had finally given way to the briskness of early autumn as Y/n stepped off the Hogwarts Express, her eyes scanning the platform for her friends. She had returned to the castle, feeling a peculiar blend of excitement and nervousness for her sixth year. It wasn't just the thrill of new classes or the anticipation of the latest Quidditch tournaments that filled her; it was the secret she had been carrying with her all summer long. Her body was a canvas, adorned with fresh ink, each tattoo telling a story of her life or memories with her friends.

Her hair had grown out over the months, cascading in gentle waves down her back, and her skin glowed with a subtle tan from countless hours spent outdoors.

As she made her way through the throngs of students, her heart skipped a beat when she spotted Mattheo. His eyes lit up with recognition and he broke into a wide smile, rushing over to envelop her in a tight embrace. He had grown a bit taller over the summer, his frame more muscular and his features more defined, but it was his kind eyes that held her attention as they searched hers.

"You're back!" he exclaimed, his voice a familiar comfort. "I've missed you so much!"

Y/n blushed, returning his smile. "Missed you too," she murmured, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against hers. They had been together for three years now, and every moment apart felt like an eternity.

Mattheo's eyes began to rove over her, taking in her new look. He noticed the way her robes hung differently, the hint of new ink peeking out from her collar and wrists.

The tattoos have been a part of her body since she was allowed to enter a tattoo shop with a parent's signature. New ones would pop up during their holiday breaks and they quickly became a defining feature alongside her beauty.

Mattheo's dorm room is a cozy and slightly messy haven filled with the scent of old books, faint notes of incense, and the occasional waft of takeout. The walls are adorned with posters of his favorite bands and artists, while the floor is scattered with clothes, empty soda cans, and textbooks fighting for space. The bed, a lofted wonder, hovers over a desk that is cluttered with wires, a laptop, and a half-finished sculpture. The room is dimly lit, with only a desk lamp and the glow of a lava lamp providing the ambiance.

Mattheo and Y/n are in the middle of a make-out session playing catch up because they haven't see each other all summer break due to her spending it in France with her grandmother. His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her closer as their kisses deepen. Y/n's hands trace the contours of his face, her thumbs brushing over the stubble that has formed since his last shave. His hands wander, too, slipping under her shirt to feel the warmth of her skin. They're both lost in the moment, the world outside their little bubble fading into oblivion.

The sound of their laughter pierces the silence as they break apart, both slightly out of breath. "God, I've missed you," Mattheo whispers, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Y/n smiles, her cheeks flushed. "Me too," she says, before leaning in to kiss him again.

Mattheo playfully nudges her, pushing her backward onto the bed. They giggle as they collapse onto the mattress, which protests with a series of squeaks. He straddles her, his hands interlocking with hers, and raises their arms above her head. "Gotcha!" he declares, grinning.

Y/n tries to wriggle free, but his grip is firm. "No, no, you don't!" she squeals, her laughter bubbling up as she kicks her legs.

Mattheo leans down, his smile turning into a playful scowl. "You're not going anywhere," he says, before letting her go.

Y/n takes the opportunity to flip him over, now on top of him. "Now who's got who?" she asks, her eyes gleaming.

He chuckles, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close. "Alright, alright," he surrenders. "But only because I like this view better."

They lay there, tangled in each other's embrace, sharing whispers and secrets from their summer apart. Y/n tells him about her adventures in Paris, the art she saw, and the food she ate. Mattheo tells her about his internship at the local music magazine, the bands he discovered, and the concerts he went to.

The conversation eventually shifts to more intimate topics, their whispers becoming softer, their touches more tender. They explore each other's bodies, reacquainting themselves with the familiar contours and curves. It's a dance they know well, yet it feels new and exciting with every encounter.

Their kisses grow urgent, their breathing heavy as they let their desires guide them. Clothes are peeled away, revealing skin that's warm and eager for contact. Their hands roam, caressing, teasing, setting each other on fire.

Y/n's heart raced as she straddled Mattheo, feeling his strong thighs tense beneath her. The dim light from the bedside lamp cast a warm glow across his sculpted abs, making his skin seem almost golden. His eyes, dark with desire, searched hers, seeking confirmation. She nodded, her cheeks flushing, and he took that as his cue to lean in, capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss that sent waves of heat coursing through her body.

Their tongues danced together, a delicate tango filled with the sweet promise of what was to come. His hands roamed up her back, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss. She could feel his arousal pressing against her, and it only served to make her more eager. Gently, she began to grind her hips against him, feeling his grip tighten as he moaned into her mouth.

Breaking the kiss, she whispered his name, her breath hot against his neck. He responded by nibbling her earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine. She leaned back, giving him access to her neck, which he kissed tenderly, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. His hands found their way to the hem of her shirt, and he began to lift it up, revealing her naked torso.

The coolness of the room contrasted with the warmth of his touch as he cupped her breasts, his thumbs flicking over her sensitive nipples. A soft gasp escaped her lips, and she arched her back, encouraging him. He took the hint, his mouth following the path his hands had made, kissing and suckling each peak until she was squirming with pleasure.

Mattheo sat up, his own shirt joining hers on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her, his bare chest pressing against her as he kissed her again. Their bodies were now one, skin to skin, and the sensation was electrifying. Y/n's hands found the buckle of his belt, and with trembling fingers, she undid it, the sound echoing in the quiet room.

Mattheo stood up, gently lifting her with him. He laid her down on the bed, his eyes never leaving hers as he removed the rest of their clothing. The sight of him, standing over her, completely naked, was almost too much to handle. She reached up, her hand tracing the line of his chest, down to his waist, and back up again. He took her hand and placed it over his heart, feeling it thump wildly against her palm.

He climbed onto the bed, his body aligning with hers, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He took a moment to appreciate her beauty, her eyes wide with anticipation, her skin flushed with desire. He positioned himself at her entrance, and with a deep, shaky breath, he pushed inside her.

The feeling was indescribable, a perfect blend of pain and pleasure that had her eyes rolling back in her head. He stilled when he found a tattoo of his name in swirling black ink on the inside of her thigh. It was a secret she had been keeping from him, a declaration of her love etched into her very skin.

"S-shit," His hips stutter at the sight, and his eyes meet hers, wide with shock and arousal. "You're so fucking perfect."

He began to move, a slow, steady rhythm that had her nails digging into his back. She matched his pace, arching her hips to meet each of his powerful thrusts. The friction between them grew, igniting a fire that threatened to consume them both.

Their moans filled the room, a symphony of need and want. He kissed her again, hard and possessive, as if he could brand her with his passion. She responded in kind, her tongue fighting his for dominance as their bodies moved together in a dance of pure lust.

The tension grew, coiling tighter with every stroke. Y/n could feel it building deep within her, an unstoppable force that threatened to shatter her into a million pieces. She clung to him, her breaths coming in ragged gasps, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to hold on.

One of Mattheo's hands had found itself around her neck, "Mine," he growled, his teeth scraping along her jawline. "You're always going to be mine."

The possessiveness in his voice sent a shiver up her spine, and she couldn't help but moan in agreement. It was true; she belonged to him, heart and soul.

The climax hit her like a tidal wave, crashing over her with the force of a thousand suns. She cried out, her body shaking as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her. Mattheo's own release followed, his body tensing as he spilled himself inside her.

He lays her on the bed and starts kissing up her thighs to the tattoo of his name, and she giggles. "Always," she whispers, her voice a little hoarse.

[anadiasmount]

of course it’s real - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: what happens when he suddenly shows up on your doorstep? could be a leap of reconciliation or something completely different?

wc: 3.5k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

➡️ part one: is this real?

psa 🗣️: this is part two to the long-awaited is this real fic! this a +18 post, so minors dni as it contains fingering, and unprotected sex 🔞. just a small bit of smut since someone requested in the fic! hope you enjoy 🤍 once again, contains mature content for 18+!

“Hi… Uh- sure come in,” you stammered, your heart beating out your chest quickly. It came as a shock to you that he was standing there, after weeks and months of not seeing him. Why was he here? Did he come to ask for something back? Jude felt the same way, pulse rate quicker than before he knocked on your brown door, before seeing you dressed up fancy. He was followed by Duke, who quickly came into Jude’s embrace, kissing Jude’s cheek, and wagging his tail. 

“You know you can’t be here right?” you ask, crossing your arms against your chest. “Who says that?” Jude retorts, standing back up and fiddling with his pants. “Well, you just finished with your club, now going into the International break. Shouldn’t you be at camp instead of here?” you question, walking to retrieve your bag and shoes. 

“Going somewhere?” Jude said, a protective maybe jealous tone undermining the tone from before. He was curious, maybe small taken at back because of how stunning you looked. It reminded him when the two of you were together and went out on date nights. Holding hands, sharing kisses, hugs, and nights of passionate sex. The memory of him gifting you a necklace with his initial to you popping into his head.

All he could come up with now is either you going on a date or attending an important event. “Yeah, I was invited to an art show so I'm headed there with friends for the evening,” you offer a small smile, to which Jude cheered on the inside.  So you couldn't be dating again, or have moved on right? “My friend Giovan is waiting Jude… I don’t want it to seem like I'm kicking you out but I have somewhere to be.”

Giovan? Who the fuck was that? Jude thought. “I wanted to talk to you about us.” 

“What do you mean? We ended a while ago…” you reply, not failing to notice Jude wincing at your words. A small frown on his face, brows drawn in and him biting the inside of his cheek. “Please… I just want you to hear me out. We can go on from there… I really miss you ba- Y/n…” 

You felt your heart tighten and beat faster. A pang of hurt and betrayal took over you, and all you wanted was to now stay in as old memories resurfaced of your healing stage. Refusing to go out, the routine you built, constantly blaming yourself for not being enough, you weren't trusting Jude’s words anymore. 

“Uh-” you shook your head and laughed trying to hold back tears. If you would have heard this the day you broke up or even a couple of days after, you would have gladly accepted him back. Maybe you could've been in Spain with him, going on walks with Duke, taking care of his injuries, being the girlfriend he wanted. But this was reality, and as much as it hurt, you wanted to protect yourself from another heartbreak. 

“I don’t know Jude. I don’t know what you want me to say,” you said nervously, shifting your weight from one foot to another. Tell me that you miss me too, tell me that you still love me the way I love you, tell me there's still a chance for us, tell me you’re still mine, was what Jude wanted to say, but once again he was left without words. 

“I have to go-”

“What if I come with you? I promise I won't pull anything. But please, we can talk there, hang out, like old times,” he proposed the idea. “What, like pretending to be the couple we were? What if I don’t want to hear what you have to say? What if you are lying again?” you say finally, having built up the courage and patience to spit out how you felt. While it felt relieving, you didn’t want to hurt the man you still love. 

“I think you're trying to avoid confrontation Y/n. I know you. Plus, you still wouldn’t be wearing my necklace if it didn't mean anything,” he walked over, his index finger connecting with the charm, watching how he had an effect on you. Your breathing rapidly increased, watching how your chest pumped in and out trying to control it. Fuck, was all you thought, he caught you. 

You look up and see how his brown iris gaze into you, a dingle of hope plastered on them. His lashes reached his top eyelid, and then touched his cheek as he blinked. Unbeknownst to the two of you, but your bodies were closely together now, one move from the two of you, and you would be pressed up. You cleared your throat and backed away, playing with the charm as you spoke, “This is such a bad idea…”

“But why does it feel so right? So real,” Jude said, shrugging his shoulders. This could end badly, maybe you running out of the showcase in tears or cause a scene and embarrass yourself in front of your coworkers. But maybe it could be the opposite, who knows, only faith undermining the situation. “Please. I wouldn't be here if it didn't mean anything,” he begged again, to which you sighed and finally accepted. 

“I have a suit in my luggage, give me a couple of minutes to change and fix my hair and we can head out okay?” Jude said, but you were afraid to speak, only muttering a quick ‘okay’. Jude was like a drug, an addictive one, and as much as you wanted to let go, it was becoming difficult. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real, right? But when you saw him come out now dressed, you knew there was no way to deny your true feelings. 

The Uber driver played slow and relaxed music, you leaned against the car window, your hand propped up to hold your head as you watched out. Jude being freakishly tall struggled with his legs, finally just spreading them apart and watching as you looked out. He wanted to reach over and pull you into him, kiss your head down to your neck, whisper words of encouragement, and hold you like he once did. But he couldn’t not knowing if you were willing to let him do so. 

When the two of you walk into the exhibit, a photographer takes a couple of photos, asking you to pose and embrace each other. As awkward as it may have been, Jude didn't let the opportunity of his hand coming around your waist and pulling you into a protective matter go to waste. His touch ignited a fire in you, a familiar sense of butterflies invading your tummy as his thumb drew circles over the material. 

You couldn't help but wrap your hand around his bicep, feeling the prominent muscles he built over the months as you walked inside the venue. He was huge compared to a while back. You smiled and guided him to your friends, to which you embraced and talked to. Giovan hugged you tight, too close for Jude’s liking, which made him clench his fist and jaw at the sight. But oh boy was he wrong. 

“And who is this handsome lad? Don’t tell me this is your man or I'll be upset Y/n,” Giovan said in a flirtatious tone, fluttering his eyelashes and extending his hand, to which Jude shook. A tint of blush and redness spread across his cheeks, making you smirk and giggle. “Not my man, just an old friend who has come down to visit me,” you intervene, standing aside to where Jude silently begged with his eyes. 

“Alright now Gio, settle down, don't scare him off now,” you joke, to which your friend just rolls his eyes and smiles. “Of course not! I'll see the two of you around, maybe you can buy me a drink,” he hinted to Jude who just nodded shyly. You look away laughing to which Jude embarrassed chuckles, “It's not funny.” 

But the playful mood turned awkward again as you roamed the exhibit of paintings, photography and sculptures. You came across a painting of white swans who looked over at the sunset, cuddled into their embraces, far away and disclosed to where the exhibit was held. It was minimal lighting and no other people.

It reminded you of when Jude broke things off, leaving for Spain, and then again when he caught you moving out. You close your eyes and shake away the memory, but Jude sees. “Are you okay?” 

“Why are you here Jude?” you ask again, you’re tired of the constant confused signals and feelings for him. For once you want him to be straight on how he feels about you, instead of continuing this cycle of unsureness. 

“I’m here for you… to fix us…” Jude says you let out a laugh of disbelief. You find the strength to look him in the eyes as he talks. “There is no us anymore Jude, you broke that off.”

“That’s why I'm here. I want to fix us and earn you back. If it's not you then it's no one. I'm really hoping you can forgive me, for what I did and the pain I cost you. I never meant for all this to happen, I thought I knew what I wanted but I was so so wrong Y/n. You shaped me into who I am today, and I'll forever be thankful for that. You made me into the person I am and without you, I'm so lost,” Jude pleads, his eyes glossy as he reaches for your hands. 

“I was stupid to let you go, to lose all the trust you built for me. I’ll admit it, I was only thinking of myself instead of you when I broke it off, but I was scared of losing you. It's true I didn't know what I wanted but I do now. You being so distant from me right now is breaking my heart because I feel like I lost you. Did I lose you, baby?” he continued, your eyes brimming with tears at his soft tone when asking his question. 

What if it was too late? What if you couldn't love him or be enough like you expected? What if there was no point in trying again if it meant the same outcome? Were you seriously going to risk everything for a guy who proved in the past they didn't think of anyone but themselves? 

Your silence was killing Jude. Maybe he did hurt you, and he could never recover from that if that was the case. This whole time being apart, from the day at the park to you moving your stuff out, to now, the distance was becoming a long and heavy weight on his shoulders. To not know how you felt, to not hear your voice, to hold you close afraid of letting go always popped into his head. Spending his nights unable to sleep, or even go out. 

“You really hurt me… I never expected you to suddenly give up on us, especially when we were doing so good? We were happy, at least I was. I was not only watching you succeed, but I was watching my favourite person in the world, stay with me at my side, promising me that nothing would come between us. If you had those feelings why didn’t you ever say anything? Why couldn't you just talk to me, like I always said?” you finally break your silence, a tear dropping from your cheek. 

“It's hurting me that you're here. It hurt me when the only person in the world I ever trusted suddenly wanted to let go. It hurt me back when I moved out, knowing it was probably the last time I would see you. It hurts to be reminded of you, and remember the good times we had because I knew they would never come back. But most of all, it hurts me to see you sad and upset,” you sob, turning away from his teary eyes not being able to take the pain. 

You felt his arms hug you, his embrace warm and comforting, and as you found yourself leaning into it, you could hear his rapid heartbeat like yours. Feel the pain slowly disappear from your veins and finally gain control. The nights of constant terrors and crying, on a stream swimming away when he breathed into you. You felt at home. The butterflies and intimate contact now swarming your chest and tummy once again.  

“If I knew how to take your pain away, I would do it. To see you hurting because of me, is hard. But I want you to know I’ve matured, that I'm willing to do anything it takes to have you back and call you mine. It's not because it feels like it's something I have to do, or live up to, it's because I truly am nothing without you,” he held your cheek in his larger palm, his other arm securely on your waist wrapped around. 

“I'm not myself, my friends and family have noticed. If your presence isn't next to mine, it's like I'm running on my head overthinking, I'm just lost.”

“Jude-”

“I love you. I've never stopped, and I don't think I ever will…” and there he said, the three words he once confessed to you before, repeated again. The three words that mean so much more than his confession, the words you've been longing to hear but are so afraid of because it will forever mean more than a simple “I want you back’ or “I miss you.” You gasped, taking a gulp of nothing because this was real. 

“Is this real?” you asked, pointing at the two of you, watching as Jude’s face softened even more. A small frown on his lips and brows relaxed, the wrinkle on his eyes as he blinked hard appearing. “Yes.”

“I'm saying is everything you're telling me now real? No bullshit. No more lies. No unsureness. Is this real, Jude?” A feeling of hope filled his chest, replacing the torture he felt before. “This is more than real. You’re the realest thing that I've ever experienced, and I want it to be like that, forever.”

“Forever?” you ask again, your brow raising as confirmation to which he let out a small laugh, “Yes. Forever. If we do this again, you're not leaving my side, and I'm not leaving yours. Forever.”

“Then what the hell are we waiting for? Kiss me Jude.”

He gave you one more look to confirm things but you quickly got on your tippy toes and smashed your lips against his. Jude pushed you up against the wall, hands roaming down to your hips where he gripped them tightly. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip tasting the familiar cherry taste he loved so deeply. Your hands moved all around his chest, finally gripping the back of his neck, drawing a small moan when he bit your lip. 

He kissed you again, lips never separating from you as he picked you up and once again caged on the wall. Your legs come around his torso, your core throbbing and rubbing against his upper abs. “Jude we can’t… not here. They will hear us…” you whimper when he kisses the inner corners of your mouth, and then down to your jaw. “Then you’ll have to be quiet. You can do that, be a good girl for me and be quiet.”

Your chin slightly trembled as he continued to kiss all the way down to your collarbone, inhaling your scent. Marking you as his, and leaving a purple mark on the hot skin. All you could do was move your hips around and try to feel the friction to get rid of the sensitivity you felt, but it was hard when Jude kept pulling back. “Is that what you want? For me to touch you?” he groaned, voice huskier and deep as he pulled you into a messy kiss. 

There was no way you could go back and let people see you like this. But you couldn't care, all you could care about was the way Jude set you down and dragged his fingertips from your calves to your inner thighs.His nails tickling and drawing shaped as he kissed and marked your boob once more.

His trail felt hot, he was teasing you, your legs squirmed around to find his touch. And when you finally grew enough of his games, you grabbed his wrist, and placed it exactly where you wanted him. “Here Jude. I want you to touch me here, please,” you whispered in his ear, biting the skin and pressing a small kiss. Jude ran his hand on top of your clothed core, noticing the wet material behind it. 

“Once I make you cum, you're all mine. Do you understand?” 

“I’ve always been yours,” and with that he dragged his fingers against your wet folds, rubbing a circle on your clit, making you let out a gasp. “That’s right baby. You've always been mine pretty girl,” he smiled against your lips, kissing your top lip. His fingers teased your entrance, groaning at how wet you were, causing you to clench your legs around his hand and look away. “Open your legs baby… Let me touch you just how you like.”

He kissed your cheek, and used his free hand to bring your face back to his gently. “Focus on me baby,” he pecked your jaw, “Focus on my touch,” Jude placed another kiss on your cheek, “Focus on my fingers,” he kissed your shoulder as his fingers finally drew inside of you, “Focus on my lips,” without hesitation you kissed him to hide the loud moan that would've left your mouth. 

His fingers were completely coated with your arousal, easily sinking them deeper as he drew them in and out. Your body shuddered, back arching against the wall as his fingers drew and now your clit were all being touched. You felt starved, completely vulnerable at his sake. 

“It feels s-s-so good, Jude,” you whined, your head thrown back as you kept a tight grip on his white blouse. “I know, but I can feel it, you’re almost there for me. So tight, always tight,” he moaned, his cock becoming harder than before. He heard your pants, small whines as you kept grinding on his hand, the cold tingle he felt down his spine as you shivered against him. 

Jude picked up the pace, sighing with pleasure when you felt his bulge, and almost shamingly came. “S-s-shit baby.”

He nibbled on your neck to quiet down the noises the two of you were making, leaving wet kisses all over your tainted skin, feeling your lips quivering in pleasure as he finally made you reach your high. You cried out, and sucked in a sharp breath when he hit that certain spot, the one he always found, either with his fingers or cock. 

“All mine.” 

Jude quickly untucked his belt, and took his hard cock out the tightness off his boxers, grunting at the cold air in the room. “Can you still be quiet for me? One more, just one more for me…” he kissed you and quickly picked you up again, holding you strongly so you wouldn't fall, but he couldn't help himself but pin you hands above your head. 

“If it becomes too much tell me,” Jude said, dragging the tip along your wet fold before finally sinking into you. Your back was completely pinned against the wall, sliding up and down as he began to thrust into you slowly but rough. He moved mindlessly, drawing out sounds from the two of you as he thrusted into you deeper. Your name fell out his lips, causing you to squeeze your legs around him, also your wet folds around his cock at the same time. 

You felt like heaven, and Jude was sure he would be cumming quickly. The two of you were close, so close that in a few more thrust the two of you would be moaning in relief. He let go of your pinned wrists, his two hands now on your hips as he slowly drew in and out, harder and deeper. “God, you feel so good. Doing so good for me… God I love you,” he kissed you, your hand resting on the back of his head returning the kiss. 

He continued to breathlessly move inside you, his forehead on your shoulder to reduce the sounds of his moans and groans. The art frames on the wall banging due the pace of his thrust, but he couldn't care. But when you continued to clench around him, Jude continuing the pace he was doing, your bodies trembled in pleasure, having Jude prep his hand in the wall so the two of you wouldnt fall. You could feel it, the way you pulsed around his cock, the ropes of cum he continued to spurt into you. 

“I love you,” he kissed his initial and then lips, now that were slightly swollen after making out for a while. You brushed the hairs on his temple that were messy back into place, smiling like an idiot as he remained still inside you. 

“I love you too Jude.”

➡️tags: @xjval 🤍

[luv-loo]

Christmas with Neville Longbottom

Masterpost || Harry Potter Masterlist

Neville Longbottom x GN!Reader

Headcanon/Drabble: The first time with your new boyfriend during the festive season

Warnings: These drabbles/headcanons are directed towards a teen audience, as this takes place during Hogwarts schooling. You can read it as a backstory as sorts, but keep in mind the reader and Neville are minors. Neville’s parents and backstory is part of this headcanon, so be weary when reading.

Notes/Anything Else: Neville’s my favourite and a major comfort of mine. With Christmas coming I was thinking about this little thing hehe, hope you enjoy ! I haven’t done a format like this before… is it a drabble ? Idk…

Christmas times always been a iffy topic to Neville.

You noticed it when the Christmas holidays were coming closer, whenever someone would ask what each other plans were during the time. The teen would slug down a bit in his spot and have a dejected face for the conversation. You didn’t pry… to much.

When you two started dating your 5th year, you really took notice of it.

You found him in the common room, looking on the brink of tears, curled next to the fire place.

It broke your heart. “Why is my love so sad?”

You sat on the floor in front of the chair he was curled in. You asked what was wrong.

The common room was empty as everyone was packing to leave for the holiday, but you still whispered.

Neville didn’t say anything for a solid 10 minutes. All that was heard was the crackle and pops of the fire place.

“… my nan likes to have Christmas with my mum and dad.”

You turned to face him, his chubby cheeks had tears slowly rolling down. Your heart was breaking even more.

Neville didn’t live with his parents, you knew that, but he never talked about what had happened with them or even if they were alive.

“Nan says they’ll know who I am when I’m there.” Sniffles were coming in clumps now.

You sat up immediately and placed yourself on the arm rest next to him, taking hold of his hand and squeezing tight, a gesture you know will calm him down. “What do you mean by that? Love, you can tell me anything.”

Sobbing was echoed through out the room, you squeeze his hand impossibly harder. He explains St Margo’s, and how they’ve lost themselves. (You could tell he was holding back, but you wouldn’t dare push him any further, with all he’s said already)

A great pain of sadness deep in your chest gathered. By that point forward, you made sure your boyfriends Christmas were special.

You brought your own Christmas decor from home and set them up in the green house (with permission). A small Christmas tree with red & gold ornaments, with present, sweets and all Neville favourite plants surrounding it.

The first time your brought him to your little set up, you bouncing on the heels of your feet while you told him he can open his eyes now.

First, shock, then disbelief and lastly utter gratefulness crossed his face when tears started coming down.

You embraced him in the tightest hug, wiped his tears away and kissed his cheek.

Carefully taking him by the hand, you lead him to a little picnic blanket laid out with sweets of all sorts that you brought last time in Hogsmeade.

“I don’t deserve you at all.” He whispered, wiping his, now, puffy red eyes. You stop, turned to him, and cuffed his cheeks.

“Don’t tell me you don’t deserve anything, especially me, because that means you deserve everything.”

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!��. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[bidisasterevankinard]

Fuck it Friday

Guess, who's back? enemies to lovers singers au!!! snippet which goes right before the very first scene I wrote for this fic Buck and Lucy bestiesm is that we all need for life (yes, I ship platonic Luck)

Buck is barely able to open his eyes, hating with all his soul the person who decided it’s fun to call him too early. Quick time check tells him it’s almost midday, but he went to sleep at 4 in the morning being caught up in the book about Greek culture he found to give more facts to Chris as the boy was getting interested in this topic recently.

“Lucy, I love you, but right now I plan the worst and most painful ways to kill you,” Buck's hoarse and grumpy voice doesn’t cause a loud laugh from the blonde, which always happens when Lucy calls him to irritate him a little.

“Buck,” Lucy’s voice sounds awful. Like she is almost crying.  Lucy never sounds like it. She is the strongest and sassiest person Buck knows, which was the reason he chose her as his manager the moment 118 found him. “Buck, there’s no way to sugar coat it for you,” Lucy takes a little pause and breaks Buck’s heart, knocking all the air out of his lungs. “Your asshole ex just outed you to the world. He made a big YouTube video about how he dated the new big pop star and heartthrob, Buck Buckley, showed a bunch of your photos with him, photos where you two kiss under mistletoe on the evening we met, for example. He also tried to make you look like an ignorant jerk who broke up with him because you got super popular and rich, conveniently forgetting to say how you lived almost for a year in Texas after your breakup and went viral only after this year,” Lucy speaks with such an anger Buck can’t help but feel how tears runs his cheeks, because Lucy is so protective over him, not just his career. 

“He posted it last night and now it is trending everywhere. I’m sorry. I know you weren't ready to be out to the world. Hell, some of the people close to you don't know because you prefer not to come out. There’s nothing we can do now. Except try to control the fallout,” Lucy sounds so genuinely sad and caring and Buck just cries more, not even knowing what he can say to her. “Hen and I are going to have the meeting today later, Bobby will be here too. But you stay at home and go full close up. Do not answer your phone if you don’t know the number. Do not go anywhere. I’ll call you later. Maddie will come soon to check on you,” Buck hums in the sight that he understood, not that he would even try to do it anyway, he feels like he was put under concrete, crushing him to the ground and preventing him from breathing. Lucy ends the call, but Buck can’t move.

He holds the phone near his ear looking, almost without blinking, at the white ceiling of his house and tries to understand what has he done to Ian, except not staying after he found out this jerk was fucking with his best friend, behind Buck’s back.

tagging @wikiangela @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @ronordmann @exhuastedpigeon @evanbegins @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @transboybuckley @underwater-ninja-13 @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @anakinfallen @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @honestlyeddie @hoodie-buck @housewifebuck @hippolotamus @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @jobairdxx @jamespearce9-1-1 @lover-of-mine @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @callmenewbie @cowboybuckleys @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buddierights @nmcggg @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @elvensorceress @andrewblur @911onabc @caroandcats

[strnilolover]

BFF!Reader x BFF!Matt Sturniolo (Best friends to lovers)

Warnings: very slight suggestive (like non-existent), small mention of death, a little bit of heartbreak, fluff

A/N: This is in the readers Pov and matts! pink is the reader; blue is matt and the purple at the bottom is basically both of them. @her-favorite told me to post this cause why the hell not lol. I absolutely love friends to lovers' tropes, but I have never tried to write anything about them SO if this sucks I'm sorry :,)

———————————————————————

“The day we met. Frozen, I held my breath. Right from the start I knew that I found a home. For my heart beats fast. Colors and promises.”

The day that I had met him, it felt like my whole world had stopped. Those hypnotic blue eyes held me captive, burying my soul so far in them it felt like home. We did everything together, promising things to one another that we knew could probably never be. But that’s what made our world feel more alive, that’s what made it feel so bright.

“How to be brave. How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?”

I never plucked up the courage to tell him, even when I had the chance to. It felt like a joke, that if I were to become vulnerable for just a moment, everything we had built would come crumbling down in a heartbeat. So I locked it in a cage, tossing the key far away, hoping maybe one day I could get it back.

“Watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer.”

But, as my eyes watched him, standing in the pouring rain after his girlfriend broke up with him. Coming to me first before anyone else, spoke to me on another level words couldn’t explain. So I took my chance, stepping closer to his soaked frame. Grabbing his face, pulling it closer to my own as I connected our lips in a small wet kiss.

“I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

His lips molded to mine in return. Grabbing my hips and pulling me closer as his frame pushed through my front door. He was hesitant at first, like I was doing this out of pity. But the way my lips moved against his, sloppy and desperate, told him otherwise. The cage opened after I promised to keep it locked so many years ago.

“Time stands still. Beauty and all she is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away. What’s standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this.”

She was breathtaking. Her frame standing in front of me as the rain poured over my body. I didn’t know who else to go to, her being the first one that popped into my mind as everything crumbled around me. I told her she left me, and she looked at me, those beautiful orbs full of pity and sadness. She stepped to me, grabbing my face and putting her lips to mine, eyes wide, I kissed back. Grabbing her hips hesitantly as I pushed my way through the door to her home. I thought this was because she felt bad, but as she kissed me harder, I knew it wasn’t.

“One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

I pulled her closer to me as she tried to pull away. Holding her to my wet body, whispering how much I loved her and how I always have. She grabbed me back, whispering the same confessions to me as her eyes looked into mine. Smiling, I kissed her again. Our bodies slowly making their way to her room as our clothes were disregarded on the floor, tangling our limbs in her sheets for the rest of the night.

“Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

We felt like one finally. Our missing pieces find their places in all the missing spots. We spent the rest of our lives together, finding comfort in one another until our bodies were laid to rest. Even in the afterlife, we loved each other for a thousand years.

———————————————————————

[caffiend-queen]

I'll Break Your Heart Before You Break Mine...

An Avengers - Loki Holidays In Hel story

I've been cleaning up and adding bits to my Holidays in Hel series because really, it's my favorite. I hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for reading!

In which Loki's courtship of Mina (refer to "The Christmas Party") hits a snag when his timid little darling suddenly decides to dump him on Valentine's Day.

I wrote this listening to the beautiful "Takeaway" from The Chainsmokers and Illenium. Have a listen here: https://youtu.be/lzkKzZmRZk8

The first time Loki had seen a Valentine, he approached it with the same look of disgust one would give a used litter box.

“What is this cloying monstrosity?” he queried, holding the little card up by his thumb and forefinger.

“Well…” Mina’s brow furrowed. “Oh, of course. This is your first Valentine’s Day on Ear- Midgard, isn’t it?” Her boyfriend (?) beau (?) Supreme Overlord of Sex (!) was by now lounging elegantly on his suede couch, arms stretched along the top of it and legs sprawled obscenely. As usual. "This is a Valentine, it's from my niece in Wisconsin."

One dark brow arched. "Explain?"

"Well, you create little cards and give them to people you care about, family, friends..." she coughed a little and added quickly, "boyfriends. They're usually heart-shaped, pink or red, and-"

"The human heart is not shaped like that," Loki interrupted, "I've torn them still beating from the chests of my enemies and they more resemble-"

"No trips down memory lane, brother!" Thor interrupted with perfect timing, which was extremely unusual. "We must make ready. There is a new mission.” He'd slammed open the door to Loki's suite, knowing it infuriated his brother every time.

With a sigh, Loki stood, waving one pale hand and was instantly clad in his dark green armor. "And who might we be engaging? More angry Dark Elves? The crossbred Jotunn ice bear? A blood witch from the Grievous Clan?" 

“No, Professor Snape, they’re … what did you call them, Thor?” Tony Stark rambled into the apartment, standing over Loki, who had reseated himself with an uncomfortable Mina on his lap. She’d tried to pop up when Thor casually broke in, but Loki’s arm came down like an iron bar to keep her in place.

Thor was nosing around the fresh-baked muffins on the counter. “They are Plesticites, do you remember battling them on the Wandering Moons of Alfheim, brother?”

Loki groaned audibly. The aforementioned creatures were multi-limbed monstrosities that spat secretions as thick as tar and vile as vomit. “And why are they here on Midgard?” he snarled, “Why did Heimdall not raise the alarm before these sacs of pus found a wormhole?”

Mouth full of muffin, his brother shrugged one giant shoulder. Stark, with that infuriating cheer he had only when interrupting someone else’s love life, clapped his hands together. “Chop chop, Asgardian supermodels, we’re off to kill the things that look like Donald Trump’s ass.”

“Darling,” Loki gently set her down on a cushion and rose, leaning over to capture a kiss. “I shall see you anon.”

It was a spectacular kiss, so it took Mina a moment to realize a case holding six of Loki’s best daggers was on the counter next to the muffins. Knowing he never went into battle without them, she tucked them under her arm and hoofed it for the roof, trying to catch him before the helicarrier took off. 

The team was still on the landing pad, and the wind carried their conversation back to her as she exited the elevator.

“- to celebrate the day with Lady Mina?” She knew Thor had Big Plans for Jane, especially after Darcy handed him a step-by-step list for what was required of a romantic boyfriend. Mina lingered for a moment around the corner, a little excited. Plans? Loki had plans for Valentine’s Day?

“You must be joking,” he sneered, “you believe I would stoop to celebrating a pathetic testament to retail excess? Debasing myself with the purchase of stuffed animals and mediocre flowers?”

Mina sighed and leaned against the elevator door. So, no Valentine’s Day, then.

“But your lady, she will expect it,” Thor said earnestly. “It is considered most important.”

“He’s right, you don’t want to screw this up.” Mina cocked her head. Was that Bucky?  “This stuff is important to women.” Loki didn’t cut the soldier off, as he’d done with his brother. She always found Loki’s - if not friendship, a comfortableness, an accord - with James Barnes intriguing. Mina had asked him about it one day, and he’d pinned her with that bleak, blue-gray gaze of his. “Loki knows what it’s like to be tortured. For decades.” She'd felt her heart splinter in that moment. For both of them.

“It is of no consequence,” Loki said dismissively, “by then, Mina and I will no longer be-” the roar of the helicarrier’s engines began and the rest of his statement was lost. Numbly taking the case of daggers back down to Loki’s apartment, Mina hesitated at the door. Would he have already revoked her access to his place?

But the door opened and she stepped in. It still smelled like Loki- sharp and clear, like pine and snow. She marched through his suite of rooms, picking up the few items she’d left there- a silk slip, her spare toothbrush, two books she’d loved and recommended to him. That was it. There were no photos of the two of them together, no tenderly written notes. It was so familiar, Mina thought bitterly, just like the last three times. 

What was it with her and Valentine’s Day? Who the fuck gets dumped three times on the most “romantic” day of the year? Stuffing everything in her bag, she could remember Kevin’s stupid face, "It's not me, babe. It's you." February 14th, 2017.

Milo, "I just feel that Valentine's Day is an excuse for women to siphon up free gifts, and I refuse to be manipulated by female greed." Pause. "Before I leave, did you get me anything?" February 14th, 2014.

And then there was Brian. "Yeah, I don't see a future with us, Mina. You're always busy at school and I need a woman who can commit." That turned out to be her best friend Marcia. Who was already married. February 14, 2019.

“And it’s happening again?” she gave a short, humorless chuckle, “At least this time, Loki’s not really my boyfriend. I’m not sure the word boyfriend could apply to a seven-foot-tall alien who looks like a supermodel and hands out orgasms like they’re penny candy. Fuck this.” 

Stomping into Jane’s lab on the 47th floor, Mina forced herself to smile. This was a new job and she couldn’t afford to break down. Of course, she had this new job because the thermodynamics lab fired her after the paparazzi storm from her night as Loki’s date at Stark’s disastrous Christmas Party. They wouldn’t leave her alone and one even burst into the ladies’ room as she was hitching her undies back up. And, her boss was just walking out of her stall as well. Fortunately, Jane immediately made the case to Tony that Mina would be very helpful in her research.

Unfortunately, Darcy was never shy about prying into everyone else’s personal lives. “Hey, Mina Mina Bo-bina, what does your sex god Asgardian have planned for Valentine’s Day?”

Jane didn’t look up from her microscope. “Thor is the God of Sex, actually.”

Without thinking, Mina shook her head. “No, Thor is the God of Fertility. Loki is the God of Lust.” They'd both been studying a book - The Royals Guide to Asgard together. Tossing her bag on her desk, she added under her breath, “Not that it matters.”

Darcy, who could under most circumstances be the poster child for Adderall, was remarkably single-minded when it came to heartbreak. Eyes narrowed behind her glasses, she pushed her face close to Mina’s. “You’ve been crying. Did Mr. Hot and Psycho do something?”

“Nope, that’s the point,” she said, “we’re doing nothing for Valentine’s Day because he’s dumping me.” 

“No!” Jane was shocked, “Thor says Loki is crazy about you!”

“I overheard him talking to Thor and Bucky when I went up to bring him his daggers for the mission,” Mina said bitterly. “He said that he and I would no longer be together.” Her shoulders slumped. “But I don’t think we ever were.”

It was not ten minutes later when Darcy had mercilessly bullied her into joining “Girl’s Night,” refusing to tell her where the herd of single women were migrating to. 

Three days later and no word from Loki, it settled into her with a despondent certainty that he would not be “courting her” (as he’d put it) anymore. She didn’t ask Jane if she’d heard from Thor, because the look of discomfort, then pity was more than she could bear. So Mina kept a cheerful smile and pretended everything was fine as bouquets started popping up on desktops, boxes of chocolate and heart-shaped cookies circulated and whispered conversations filled with giggles were all around her.

Screw Valentine’s Day. It sucked.

Nonetheless, she defiantly dressed for the girl’s “Cupid is Stupid” outing with Darcy in a short, saucy little emerald-colored dress she’d picked up on sale. She had been saving it to wear on a special occasion with Loki, but…. Angrily dashing away a tear before it ruined her cat’s-eye eyeliner, Mina straightened her shoulders. She would go have fun with Darcy and the girls. Then this day would be over, and-

The reality that she would eventually be seeing Loki in the halls, perhaps in the lab every now and then made her sink onto her couch. Would he be bringing new women to social events? Mina’s lips thinned and she stood up, seizing her bag and storming out the door. “It’s going to be a bit more difficult finding a date that doesn’t mind you kidnapping her off the street!” she hissed, halting at the appalled stare of nice Mrs. Wyscowski who lived next door in E16 as she got off the elevator. The woman was carrying a bouquet of roses. ‘Of course,’ Mina thought, ‘even my 73-year-old neighbor gets flowers.’ Instantly feeling guilty, she held the door for her. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs. W. The roses are so pretty!”

“Thank you, dear. And what are you and Mr. Odinson doing this evening?” Mrs. Wyscowski loved Loki, of course. The charming bastard insisted on kissing her wrinkled hand every time he spotted her.

Mina’s smile faltered, but she stepped into the elevator. “Have a good night, Mrs. W.”

When her Uber pulled up to the address Darcy gave her, she audibly groaned. Seriously?

The driver laughed, looking in his rearview mirror. “Not what you were planning on?”

“Knowing my friend, I should have,” Mina sighed. Cherry’s Sexual Harassment Pub was bustling with giggling women lined up at the bar and guarding table space for their friends close to the stage. Passing by gigantic posters of bare-assed men with names like “Blaze,” and “Nitro,” she rolled her eyes. 

“Bitch!” Darcy shouted at the top of her considerable lungs, standing on her chair and waving at her like she was a one-winged sparrow, trying to take flight. But when one of the buff, shirtless waiters brought over a tray of Sex on the Beach shooters, Mina took two.

Just as Mina was throwing back her first shot, a bloody and exhausted crew was exiting the helicarrier, eager to shower off the genuinely disgusting mission and focus on something new: sex, booze, and for a few, even romance. Thor nudged his brother with one giant arm. “Have you reconsidered what to do for the Lady Mina? The night is young.” 

“I have told you, Thor,” Loki snarled, “I do not indulge in such plebian excess.”

Undeterred, his brother said, “Jane has mentioned that she has seemed quite despondent these last few days. Have she seemed so when she speaks with you?”

Loki shrugged. “I do not speak with Mina whilst on missions away. I’m sure she is fine. And most likely,” he said, his pace increasing as they exited onto their floor, “waiting for me in my chambers. So if you’ll excuse me…”

But Mina wasn’t. She’d been very good about showing up when he returned from missions, working here in the Tower in Jane’s lab gave her proximity and advance warning. In fact … as Loki strolled to the bedroom he noticed her absence, along with the few little things she’d left in his suite - including A Brief History of Time, a book he'd been rather enjoying. Where was the little minx? Sweeping a hand down his body to restore himself to spotlessness and into a fresh black suit, he set off for the labs, Mina was no doubt working late. 

Mina was laughing uncontrollably as Darcy had her legs looped around the back of a stripper who had his head buried in her considerable cleavage. He was still managing to swirl those agile hips to the beat of “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crew even as he was making motorboat noises. A sudden vision of Loki teaching her how to dance the tango on his terrace rose in her mind and she angrily shook her head. She was not going to be one of those single people on Valentine’s Day who got all drunk and weepy! Well … reaching for the champagne in the middle of the table, she drank right from the bottle. Not one of those single people who cry, anyway. Screw Loki. Screw Loki and his beautiful agile hips and those fingers and how he’d purr all those filthy things in her ear when she was coming. 

Ugh.

“Break his heart before he breaks mine,” she mumbled, nearly inaudible under the screaming of the other women. But someone was listening.

In fact, the Stark group had enjoyed VIP treatment all night - graciously escorted to the best table on the floor and several bottles of complimentary champagne delivered with "Compliments of the house, beautiful ladies." The shirtless blonde waiter - who was hilariously named "Thor," according to his nametag - wore impeccable white cuffs and collar and was most attentive, chuckling indulgently as his perfect, firm ass was groped more than once. "Thor" even leaned over invitingly by Mira as he'd brought more drinks, but she smiled nervously and scooted her chair over a bit.

“Hey, pretty lady,” he oozed, “is there something … special I can get you?” 

“Hell, yeah!” shouted Darcy, “Our girl just broke up with her boyfriend! Right before Valentine’s Day, can you believe it?” Mina cringed so hard she could feel her spine compress.

"Thor" took her hand, eyes wide in his most sincere sympathy. “He’s a fool to let you get away, baby. You need a man who knows how to appreciate a queen like you.”

‘Oh, gawd …’ she thought. “Oh, I broke up with him,” she nodded firmly, “so yeah, it’s all good. It’s fine. Really,” she emphasized, trying to yank her hand away from his. Her palm was tingling like crazy and she wiped it on her skirt several times, frowning at the odd burn.

But then the lights came up and the smarmy DJ’s voice bellowed out, “Heeeey, Ladies! Welcome to the Cupid is Stupid spectacular! We’re gonna give you pretty little things all the affection you deserve tonight! Up first, give a waaaaarm, wet welcome to Valentino!”

She was laughing, Mina just couldn’t help it. This was so fucking cheesy. What was she doing here?

What was she doing here? Looking around the room, she could tell she was the only one not totally invested in the web the strippers were weaving. Her forehead creased. That was a weird image. But all the girls were screaming, waving tens and twenties, glassy-eyed and utterly focused on the man on stage, currently undulating in a g-string. The waiters were circulating, putting down more drinks, running fingertips along a cheek, along a shoulder or down the neck and dipping into cleavage. And the girls all seemed to love it. Wiping her sweaty forehead, Mina blinked, looking at her phone. Just to check the time, that’s all.

Nothing from Loki. Of course.

Rising abruptly from her seat, she made her way through the crowd of rapturous women. Once in the bathroom, she splashed her face with cold water, forgetting about her careful makeup. Why was she so sweaty? Looking in the mirror and wiping away her streaked mascara, Mina sighed. This was worse than being at home watching While You Were Sleeping and weeping uncontrollably. “I’ll walk home,” she said to the grimy mirror. “Get some exercise. Yeah. You know, endorphins.”

Walking back to the table to grab her purse and bid Darcy goodnight, she stumbled to a stop.

Loki was dancing. More specifically, her ex-boyfriend (well, the gorgeous god she’d been dating) was stripping. And the screams rose at a pitch that could shatter crystal. His vivid jade eyes were fixed on her, a filthy, knowing smirk on his face. His body was art. All marble-sheened skin with flexing, lean muscle beneath. She’d always been amused when people assumed Loki wasn’t physically powerful, like his bulky brother. Oh, no… those perfectly tailored suits of his hid a body of exquisite grace, broad shoulders and a chest and arms banded thickly with muscle. His long, long legs were sculpted, and when he lifted her to straddle his thigh and rubbed her against the taut strands there … oh, god. What was he doing here! This couldn’t- 

“Loki?” she shouted, incredulous and trying to get closer to the stage. 

“Hello, love.” She could see Loki’s lips moving, but even over the howl of the music and shrieks from the women, it still sounded like he was talking right into her ear. “I thought I would give you a bit of a surprise. Then, I intend to take you backstage, hoist you upon the nearest level surface and fuck you until you beg for mercy. Which of course, I shall not give you.” There was never a time Mina was more aware that he was a god. So beautiful, even under those tawdry pink lights, his hips moving in erotic figure eights and dancing just for her. So intent on reaching him, Mina never noticed another of the waiters come up from behind her, slipping an arm around her waist.

Thor was just helping Jane on with her coat as Loki strode into the lab. “Where is Mina?” He knew his tone was sharp, but he was suddenly filled with a sense of urgency, a necessity to reach her- to find his girl before-

“She’s out with Darcy and the girls.” Jane’s tone was not friendly. “You know, since you dumped her, it’s really not any of your business.”

“I beg your pardon?” 

It was clear Loki was shocked, which was shocking in of itself since the god prided himself on no expression other than urbane amusement or profound boredom. “She went out with the girls?” Jane said less aggressively. 

“Where?” His tone was sharp, but the couple didn’t take offense. They could feel it too, that something was wrong here. Loki was never agitated like this, not even in the middle of battle.

“Um…” Jane consulted her phone. “It’s a strip club,” she looked at him apologetically, “called, ugh, now I know Darcy picked it! It’s called Cherry’s Sexual Harassment Pub.” Thor choked down a laugh as his brother and Jane glared at him.

“This…” Loki hesitated, another shocking departure for him. “There is something wrong. I cannot say, but I feel it.”

To his credit, Thor immediately stepped up. “I shall come with you brother. My dearest, would you mind putting off our evening for a few hours more?”

She nodded, “Of course. Should I come with you? You know, to wrangle Darcy?”

“We must go, please, stay here.” It was the 'please' that stopped her from protesting as Loki dragged off her boyfriend. Loki never said please.

Darcy was screaming herself hoarse. She didn’t know how this could have possibly happened, but this was the best fucking night of her life! How the fuck could Bucky have overcome his shyness to be stripping for all these women? The Winter Soldier stared at her, licking his full lips as his crotch jutted at her obscenely, thick thighs bending to lure her closer to the stage. His long hair fell into his eyes, glowing with need for her. Her hand reached out. There was just one more layer to peel off, just the tiniest scrap of spandex between her and what she was certain was the biggest cock in North America. Just one little yank on that strap and... She was still trying to surge forward when the arms came around her from behind, gripping her tightly and making her ribs compress against her lungs. It felt like the most brutal kind of suction, feeling like the blood was being pulled out of the pores in her skin, but all she could think of was to get to Bucky- that beautiful bastard, she knew he always wanted her he did and then she was coming legs twitching and rubbing together hands still reaching out touch him.

MaryBeth from Offshore Accounts was dreamily watching Steve Rogers bare all that perfect, golden skin and rippling muscle. He was clean-shaven, not that scruffy beard he’d been wearing and those patriotic blue eyes were lasered in on her, he was going to tear her clothes off and fuck her right on the table, she could hear him! So MaryBeth swept out an arm, knocking everything off the surface and climbing on, hauling her skirt up. “Right here, Steve honey! I AM SO READY!” Darleen McMasters from the table next to theirs was from Queens, married 22 years and just here to keep her best friend and current divorcee Carla company, sat up abruptly. “FRANK?” she shouted, jaw dropped, “What on EARTH are you doing!” Her husband looked down, giving her a rakish wink and an extra little thrust of his hips.

Interestingly, Carla was also watching Frank get naked on stage, unbuttoning her blouse and hoping he’d FINALLY notice how much nicer her breasts looked than Darlene's.

Theresa from Digital Media was dreamily enjoying the sight of Carol Danvers peeling off that gorgeous fucking bodysuit, to show even more gorgeous fucking curves, her blonde hair shining like a beacon and Theresa was ready to run her hands through it-

By the time Loki had apparated himself and Thor into the middle of the club, it was silent, the raucous music gone and only the bestial grunts and slavering of the things currently feeding on the women. 

“By the Nine…” gasped Thor, instantly calling Mjölnir to him as he went back to back with Loki, who’d been searching for Mina. He found her writhing furiously against the incubus grappling her from behind. The truly amusing miscalculation of Midgard mythology - he thought while sending twelve daggers sailing through the air at the demon - was believing that the Incubi were attractive and seductive. They were repellant, horrifying, a grisly amalgamation of sinew, rot and slimy, mottled skin. They actually made the Plesticites the Avengers slaughtered that day look appealing. This one’s maw opened, showing jagged, rotting fangs as it screamed in rage and agony, punctured by the dozen blades in a tidy, cross-shaped pattern and falling off Mina’s back like a sack of meat. 

Thor’s hammer tore through another of the creatures, making the woman holding it scream “Leonardo! Don’t leave me! I believe in your Nature Alliance!” before she collapsed. And then the battle was on. Over twenty of the Incubi, mouths dripping black blood that sizzled like acid on the floor stalked toward them. They were so. Fucking. Hungry. They had planned this Valentine’s Day massacre for a couple of decades and no upstart Asgardian royalty was going to take their feast from them. Complicating matters was that most of the demons were able to hold onto the image of whatever their victim was imagining, and for many of the girls - particularly MaryBeth from Offshore Accounts who had dreamed of getting into Captain America’s red, white and blue suit for years now - were unwilling to let go of the Incubi draining them to death.

Black blood and gnarled, twisted limbs torn from desiccated flesh flew through the smoky air as the princes of Asgard ripped their way through the thicket of demonic visitors, as he leaned back gracefully to avoid a spray of ichor, Loki watched Mina leap on to the back of the incubus currently finishing off an unconscious Darcy.  The foolish creature still wore a dreamy smile on her red-lipsticked mouth, and she slid gracelessly to the floor as her rescuer stabbed the creature in the back of the neck, shoving hard to get the razor-sharp blade through its hide. He spun in one more circle to finish off the fiend sneaking up on Thor before turning back to seize Mina. 

“You had to burst in here. Creating such a fuss.” The voice was beautiful, well-bred and slightly amused. The creature it belonged to was perfection, everything a man should be - blond, very tall with a tight, perfect ass and red, full lips. And in one long-fingered hand, it was gripping the throat of his Mina, easily holding her off the ground as she kicked and thrashed, clawing at his muscled forearm. “There are so very many pretty, lonely girls in this city, on this night of all nights. And yet, you insisted on bothering ussss.” The man hissed the last word and displayed a mouth full of alarmingly sharp, needle-like teeth. “Now, I shall consume this meaningless human in front of you. Its mouth opened horribly wide, like a snake’s dislodging its jaw and Loki’s hand came up again, inhumanly, impossibly fast and threw his last dagger, a gleaming silver blur that nicked Mina’s throat, sending a spray of blood into the open mouth of the demon behind her.

It let out a scream of agony, smoke pouring from its throat and slamming on to the filthy floor, writing and howling before abruptly disappearing in a puff of sulfurous smoke, along with the remains of the other incubi. 

From there, it was really just a matter of cleaning up and damage control. The little club was suddenly packed with SHIELD agents and, Loki noted sourly, Doctor Strange, who was attending to the women, briskly erasing their memories of the night and putting in a suggestion of a gas leak.

“How original,” Loki sneered.

Bucky walked up behind him. “And here I thought my night was the worst Valentine’s Day choice ever.” He patted him lightly on his expensively suited shoulder. “You okay? Mina, too?”

“Indeed,” Loki said approvingly, “she slew one of the creatures herself.” He looked at the soldier again and decided to do something he traditionally considered loathsome. A bit of matchmaking. “However, your help is needed immediately for Miss Lewis.” 

Bucky frowned, looking over at a pale Darcy, two paramedics still trying to bring her around. “What can I do?”

Thor was close enough to be eavesdropping shamelessly, and he leaned in. “An incubus bite can only be reversed in one way, my friend.”

Picking up the thread, Loki walked Bucky closer. “The incubus presents the vision of the person the victim desires most. It is why they are irresistible. As it happens, Miss Lewis believed she was watching you perform for her.”

“What?” Bucky choked, going a little pale himself.

“You must … attend to her in order to heal her, I am certain you know what we are saying,” Loki finished smoothly. When his friend leaned down to cautiously pick the girl up, he made a negligent gesture with one pale hand and send the two of them back to Barnes’ quarters in the Tower.

“Brother,” Thor boomed, “did I just see…? Was that a … good deed?”

In a flash, another of his brother’s daggers was at his throat. “Never say such a repugnant thing to me again!” Loki snarled, eyes narrowed as Thor backed away, chuckling. 

“I must return to Jane,” he said, picking up Mjölnir and turning to the door. “And I believe you have a beautiful woman of your own to attend to.”

Placing his hands in the pockets of his beautiful suit, Loki strolled to Mina, who was attempting to wipe some of the gore off her skin. “Oh, my god,” she gagged a little, “I smell like something that washed up on the beach. How is it that you look perfectly put together?”

A corner of his mouth turned up, just slightly. “I am a god.” Her pretty face fell and she went back to scrubbing futilely at her dress. “That was a rather fetching gown,” he offered.

“Was is the operative word here,” she sighed, giving up. “You’re bad luck for expensive dresses.”

“Perhaps if you’d been waiting in my rooms at the Tower like a good girl,” he said haughtily, “your dress would be intact.”

“What?” His usually sweet-natured, mild girl threw the filthy bar towel at him. “Seriously? So you could dump me in person? How nice of you! That’s just never going to-” With a sigh, Loki seized her around the waist and they were gone. 

“Geddoff me!” Mina was wiggling, trying to get loose from Loki’s steel grip.

“Such a bad girl,” he said disapprovingly, “I must seek you out in a club catering to male nudity, save you from the Incubi and this is your gratitude?”

“Gratitude! Gratitude?” Her eyes were furious slits and she was snarling like a feral cat. “You DUMPED me! You have no right to-” Releasing her abruptly, he smiled a bit to hear her startled scream and then the huge splash. Hitching his trousers, Loki seated himself on a rock outcropping, waiting for her to surface. Mina did, paddling and splashing furiously in a rather adorable fashion until she was calmer. Wiping the water out of her eyes, she glared up at him. “Where are we?”

“This is Valeria,” he said, settling more comfortably. “It is an undeveloped planet that Asgard holds in guardianship. It is one of the last pure places in the universe.” As she swam closer, his clothes disappeared and he joined her in the water.

Mina gritted back a simper as she watched him rise from the crystal water, the waves sluicing off his hard body as he smoothed his wet hair off his face. “If it’s undeveloped, why are we here?” A wicked little smile graced his lips and she groaned audibly.

“I keep a vacation cottage here,” he said, swimming around her in circles. “Just a humble abode when I require peace and quiet.”

“Then, why am I here?” she pursued.

“Because you long to travel and take a safari in a far-flung country, Africa, perhaps. You wish to see wild animals and places undefiled by man.”

Mina flushed. “You’ve been looking at my Pinterest account again!”

“Darling…” Loki drew her onto his lap in the water. “Valeria has over 1,930,000 species of animals that have never been seen anywhere but here. I shall take you all over this world tomorrow and show you creatures you never imagined. Animals no other human eye will ever see.”

Looping her arms around his smooth shoulders, Mina gave him a weak smile. “Was that what you meant when you told Thor that we would no longer be … something by Valentine’s Day?”

“Of course, foolish girl. I’d planned this off-world safari for you for some time-” Loki’s answer was cut off when she pressed her mouth to his.

“So you weren’t breaking up with me,” she mumbled, not meeting his gaze.

Loki pursed his mouth. “Will there ever be a time you do not doubt me, my Mina? Where you will not compare me to the utterly pedestrian fools you have been with before me?”

She did feel terrible. But warm and kind of glowing inside at the same time. So when her god leaned back against the warm rocks and spread his long legs with an utterly filthy leer, she slipped deeper into the heavenly water, swimming between his knees. “Allow me to make it up to you, my King,” Mina said in the sweetest of tones. Loki was fighting a smile, she could tell, but he nodded regally. Putting his perfect, thick cock into her mouth was never a hardship, she thought, sucking carefully on the tip and fluttering her tongue on the sensitive underside. Lunging to bring the length of him down her throat, she enjoyed the low growl that rattled through his chest. Carefully cupping his scrotum with one hand, she slid her finger along the sensitive flesh behind his sac. One hand came up to pet her wet hair as his hips thrust up before he pulled them back.

“Such a good girl,” he praised her, chest heaving. When she finally circled his anus with a questing finger, Loki regretfully pulled her off his painfully stiff cock. “Not this time, darling. I must make you wet and soft for me.” Mina let out a startled shriek as he simply lifted her by the waist and planted her pussy on his face.

“Oh, my god, Loki I’m going to smother you! Wait, just- Oh, godddd,” she moaned, back arching a little as she felt his cool tongue and lips play with her. She could hear the sound of birds chirping and the occasional rustle of leaves as if the animals here were creeping down to watch. 

Loki gently bit one of her swelling lips and held on as she tried to pull loose. “I require your attention to be focused upon me, feasting on this juicy cunt.” When she nodded a little randomly, he slid two fingers up her channel and attacked her again, sliding his tongue back and forth before latching onto her clit and sucking gently.

When he caught her startled gaze, he winked one jade-colored eye and scraped his teeth gently across the excruciatingly sensitive tissue of her pearl, enjoying her gasp and deliciously wanton moan as she came. Carefully rearranging her shaking arms and legs, he kneeled her on all fours and crawled behind her. “You present so beautifully for your alpha,” Loki purred, “just as a good little mate should. Now raise that lovely rump of your higher. I’m going to fuck you. Mate with you. Drive you into the ground.” He’d placed the reddened tip of his cock at her entrance, and then, he shoved himself up inside her, hard. “Force you to submit to me, beg for my come. You will yowl and cry out and moan, just like a saucy little female of this place would do.”

Mina was gripping the wet earth under her, trying to keep her balance as Loki drove into her with ferocity. She had a feeling he was still displeased - and perhaps the tiniest bit wounded? - by her willingness to believe he was casting her aside. And when his big hand came down on the soft cheeks of her ass with a thunderous “whap!” she was sure of it. Loki was so big in this position - filling her and spreading her so completely that it was hard to tell where she ended and he began. Everything inside her felt pressed aside for his driving cock and it was unimaginably good. He had one hand on her shoulder, shoving her back and forth on his cock, and the other pulling and stroking at her nipples. She could feel the shower of sparks move up her spine, so close to coming! And then the heartless, diabolical God of Lust grabbed her hair and pulled her head up, putting his lips to her ear. 

“Do you see them, pet?” She did - two gigantic creatures were perched on the cliffs across the pond from them, silent, but alert. They were awe-inspiring, something that looked like a cross between a tiger and a bird of prey, massive wings covered in a golden striped fur. Mina’s gasp died in her throat as she stared at the two pairs of golden eyes staring back. “They recognize us, a species dominant to them, higher on the food chain. So they will bear witness as we mate, they will not drink until we leave…” His fingers were moving faster on her breasts, squeezing and plucking at them until he felt her thighs begin to quiver. “Ah … there you are, lovely. You’re so close, aren’t you?” His thrusts were faster, shorter and sharper inside her and Mina was nearly knocked off her knees.

“Please, my King,” she moaned, “please allow me to come!”

He whispered one last, sibilant hiss in her ear. “Come. Now.” And she felt his teeth bite down into her shoulder and every last bit of sense left her, screaming and shaking, moaning as she heard him growl deep in his chest. A warning. A challenge. And the two huge creatures rose gracefully and disappeared back into the jungle as he picked his Mina up and brought her to his home. 

Long after, when Loki had meticulously bathed her limp form and smoothed a glorious-smelling lotion on her sore skin, had brushed her long hair dry and then hand-fed her bites of small and utterly delicious things, Mina finally forced enough brain cells back together to ask a question or two.

“What happened with the last incubus, the one that had me by the throat?” Loki had healed her as his first action when the demon disappeared.

Kissing each of her toes, he looked up at her slyly. “Your blood, lovely. An incubus cannot bear the essence of one pure at heart. Your blood nearly destroyed him, the monster had barely the strength to retreat back to Hel.”

Mina blinked. That was not what she’d been expecting. “I don’t- that’s ridiculous,” she said shyly, “I’m no pure thing.”

Her beautiful, infuriating Valentine gracefully moved over her, knees already between hers and spreading her wider. “Oh, my sweet Mina,” he said in a tone that could only be described as tender. “You are so very, very pure and good. You redeem me.” Loki smiled down as she blinked back tears. “And now, I shall attempt to defile you in a way that only a very, very good girl can be.”

I'm starting over with a vague memory of who might like my Loki and Avengers tales. If you would like on or off this list, please let me know! Thank you. Mwah!

@what-is-your-plan-today

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork

@the-soulofdevil

@americasass81

@mdemontespan1667

@sultry-rachael

@myoxisbroken

@gigglingtiggerv2

@notpedeka

@narnianarcher

@sylviefromneptune

@winterslove1917

@kimanne723

@hawkeyes-queen

@grymrayven

@stevihj

@lizette50

@jevans2

@wolfsmom1

@devikafernando

@wegingerangelica

@nildespirandum

@alexakeyloveloki

@thebatshitcrazyfangirl

@thehumming6ird

@archy3001

@iheartsebastianstan

@tomstinkerbell

@wolfpawn

@rayofdawnworld

@thecutestlittlebunbunfairy

@dangertoozmanykids101

@alexakeyloveloki

@nuggsmum

@boredbrooder

@fairlightswiftly

@inkededucatednnerdy

@nonsensicalobsessions

@viv-annelore

@eleniblue

[hischierswhore]

want you back

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: Mentions of a breakup // cursing

A/N: my first fic! i feel like this wasn’t too bad for my first time

read part 2 here

3 months ago you got broken up with by the man you thought was the love of your life, Mason Mount. Well, you were on a ‘break’ as Mason had called it, but neither of you had spoken to the other in months, so you considered it a break up.

In the months following said ‘break’ , you went through all the stages of grief repeatedly, relapsing several times, but it eventually got to a point where you just couldn’t continue torturing yourself with the thought of him.

The whole basis of your breakup was because Mason claimed that your relationship was “a distraction” to his career, and that it was “negatively affecting his performance”. He wanted a break, but he never bothered to reach out after your final moment together.

As a result of his claims, you practically vanished from your mutual friends lives. They were certainly aware of the breakup, but they never knew any of the details as to what truly occurred that night. They’d called on more than one occasion to see how you were doing, and if you needed anything. You were beyond grateful to have them in your life.

Those 3 months were probably the hardest of your entire life. Though you still didn’t feel ready to see Mason, you were finally at the point of accepting it & moving on. Were you still madly in love with the man that broke your heart into pieces? Absolutely, but you wouldn’t let him know that.

That was 3 months ago, though. You were currently on your way to your favorite coffee shop in London to finish a few assignments you had pending.

You inhaled the delightful scent of cinnamon & freshly brewed coffee as you entered the small building. You set your bag down at your usual booth & went to order your drink.

Moments later, you came back to your seat and began working, only to be interrupted by someone taking a seat in-front of you. You looked up to see none other than Mason Mount.

Your eyes must’ve popped out of their sockets at the sight, as you were certainly not expecting to run into him anytime soon.

“Can I help you?” You questioned as you went back to working on the assignment. You heard him lightly cough before he actually spoke.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You didn’t bother to spare him another look as you continued working.

“It most certainly has” You replied dryly, not wanting to converse with him at this moment.

“What’ve you been up to?” He asked nonchalantly.

"Well, I’ve been busy avoiding you since I’m such a distraction, but that seems to have gone out the window, hasn’t it?” You looked at him as you set your pen down, a sarcastic smile spreading across your face. You watched as his slight smile dropped.

“Y/n… I didn’t mean it like that” He spoke before you interjected.

“You didn’t mean it like what, Mason?“ You moved your hands to your chin, holding your head up.

“Listen, I didn’t mean all the things I said. When I said I wanted a break, I didn’t want you out of my life for good” He explained

“And you think I wanted you out of mine? You never once reached out to ask if I was okay, Mason. Did you even realize that I gave up my social life, just so I could give you the space you needed?” You could tell he was at a loss for words.

“Bloody hell, Mason, our friends have checked on me more than you even did throughout the entirety of this whole thing” You whisper-shouted as you gestured between the two of you. Mason looked as if he was processing everything you were saying.

“And I’m so sorry for that, Y/n. I should’ve reached out to you, especially when I sprung that all on you with no warning” He contemplated reaching for your hand but decided against it.

“Yeah, you should’ve” You went back to working as he just sat there in silence.

“What do you even want, Mason?”

“You. I want you back” His sudden confession causing you to pause your writing and look up at him once again, that same wide-eyed look making a comeback.

“You’ve GOT to be fucking kidding me”

“I made a huge mistake, Y/n. You weren’t the distraction at all; it was me. I was the problem. My head was all over the place and I was being irrational. These past few months have been hell without you, and I know it’s my fault. I sincerely miss having you in my life” He pleaded with you.

“Mason… I don’t know-”

“It doesn’t have to be immediate. Take all the time you need to think about it” He came through and actually grabbed your hand, immediately missing the physical contact.

“Like I said, I don’t know. It took me so long to finally accept that this was how we ended, and now for you to suddenly reappear and want me back just makes it so much more difficult” You pulled your hand back from his, setting it in-front of you. Mason nodded his head in understanding.

And with a simple “nice to see you again”, you packed your bag up and left the little coffee shop. As you walked down the sidewalk, you truly thought about what Mason had said.

As much as you still had love for the boy, you didn’t want to jump back into things with him, only to get your heart broken once more. Seeing him today only made things worse, causing you to fall for the boy once again.

Good god, Mason Mount. What have you done?

part 2 linked at top!

[actually-safer-to-kiss]

Post-Mortem

Summary: Spencer wants to get back with Reader a month after their breakup, and it doesn't go the way he planned.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Angst

Content warning: Breakup, recovering from heartbreak, rejection, sad ending

Word count: 1.3k

Spencer Reid broke my heart, plain and simple. Eight months of wonder and joy were destroyed at one dinner. A romantic one, just to twist the knife more. I was sure we would’ve been together longer, which is why it felt like the world caved in when he ended it. I never felt so broken. At that moment, I could say it was the dinner to end all dinners. Because I told Spencer I never wanted to see him again.

So you can imagine his surprise (and mine) when I agreed to meet him for a coffee a month later. I took deep breaths in the car because, like the breakup, this location was just as methodical. The spot where we first met in our respective rushes to work, he decided would be the last. When opening the shop door and hearing the familiar bell ding, it's like a neck-breaking transport. And when I spot Spencer at a table, with two cups and a pastry wrapped in front of him, the reminder to breathe comes back. 

One of the most painful things about heartbreak is that it doesn’t rip up memories like your body. They’re as clear as ever when Spencer stands from his seat while we lock eyes. The chair legs scooting across the floor were as loud as it was when we came here for quick breakfasts. Quick breakfasts were never my choice, but duty calling never involves convenience. A call from Spencer’s phone was equivalent to a brace for impact. The anxiety of waiting for the pleasantries to inevitably end was as real as the others in the shop turning their heads at the sound of Spencer’s chair. Brief and dreadful.

Nevertheless, I walked forward, keeping eye contact and an optimistic look. “Hey,” I said.

“Hi.” His hand pops up to wave as his lips thin out in his classic unrelaxed half-smile. “How are you?”

I sit. “Alright.” I can lie if I try hard enough. That’s one perk of dating a profiler. “You?”

“Good.” He nods while shifting in his seat. “Yeah, good.”

“You look exhausted.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed.

“Did you just get back from a case?”

“Yeah, last night. Los Angeles.” He rubbed his eyes. He hadn't slept. “I got you an iced vanilla latte.” He points to the cup, condensation already layering the outside of it.

I take a sip. It’s watered-down but sweet. “Thanks.”

He then slides the mystery pastry toward me. “And a scone.”

This will be a long sit-down. He wants it to be. I can smell the scone. Nostalgia hits hard and doesn’t apologize. “Chocolate Chunk,” I say. It’s what I ordered the first time. He and his damned eidetic memory remember how I entertain desserts whenever I eat somewhere. And I remember our last dinner, how he ended it before they even had a chance to offer the selections. I didn’t touch it. Instead, I leaned in my chair. I thought I should kick back. “Why’d you call me here, Spencer?”

He looked around the room as if others wanted to listen in on this riveting conversation. He takes his coffee and slowly sips, putting it down. “One of the victims, her girlfriend… or ex-girlfriend was devastated during our interview. They had been on a break and she —”

“Regretted the way things ended, and now that she’s dead she can’t say sorry.” I’ll admit I didn’t care for my monotone voice, but he’s told me similar stories and a range of others that cut him deep. And I listened and held him then.

Then is, unfortunately, not now.

Spencer’s eyes darted from the cup to the scone, to me, back to the scone, then to me again. “I really am sorry.” His voice is strained.

I gripped my sweater sleeves under the table, like how the dinner ended. Except I stood up from the table with my fists deep in the soft linen covering it. The anger boiling inside fueled my force as I walked out of the restaurant. It was literally a raging spectacle, despite the deafening sound of my heart cracking in my ears.

The anger had long subsided. “I know.”

His eyebrows raised, likely expecting a more spit-in-your-face response. “You do?”

“The phone calls made it easy to assume.” That doesn’t mean I answered. He called once a week, but picking up the phone any earlier than yesterday would’ve led to undignified sniffles, giving me away instantly. My broken heart has calcified significantly in record time.

Spencer nodded. “I know I hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me someday.” For a minute, I wondered if this was the workings of a genius or a psychopath (he hangs around enough of both). Because despite the cruelty of such a planned-out ending, I somehow felt sorry for him. And I hate to admit there’s a small part of me that wants to crumble to his side.

“It’ll be okay,” I told him. “Water’s making its way under the bridge.” Time was all I needed.

Quiet takes over for a brief moment between us, and even though we’ve been apart for a month, it doesn’t take away the other eight. Spencer’s eyes, puppy-like in shape and oaky in color, are as obvious as the rest of his behavior.

“That isn’t why you wanted me here. Isn't it?"

He licks his lips and shakes his head. “I was hoping… in due time, of course, we could try again.”

The sigh that came out of me was involuntary. I wouldn’t have held back my response even a week ago, and he was lucky about that. “Spencer, I’m sorry. It may not feel like it now, but I think, in retrospect, you made a wise choice.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Nothing has changed. You were just in Los Angeles.”

“But I could try harder. Like you wanted." He swallows again. “I miss you.”

Damn, that was all I thought.

“Well,” I cleared my throat. It didn’t help. “Maybe… maybe we can be friends someday. But for now, I hate to say this,” I do. “But it might be a smart idea to keep our separate ways for a while.”

The best thing I could do is avoid diving headfirst into my true feelings. To expect things to suddenly change just because he wants to return. It's vulnerability and blissful ignorance I can’t afford. Calcified is an accurate way to describe my current state, but fragility is still there. I’ve managed to get to bed without crying for a week, but the sucker punch of memories, the freshness is very prevalent. I can still pretend here.

Spencer though, no matter how hard he tries, is not a stoic person. It’s not in him. If he’s angry, it comes out in passive-aggressive remarks or emotional outbursts containing at most a single swear word. And when sadness comes, tears are sure to follow.

I see one fall, and I try to avoid erosion as he wipes the trail off his cheek. “I understand.” He doesn’t look up.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” That's all I can say. Having the tables turned is painful.

“I don’t blame you. I handled it terribly.”

I said nothing.

“And if I could, I’d —”

His phone vibrated. Brace.

“Duty calls,” I say with a lilt, and he isn't amused. I take another sip of my coffee before I scoot my chair back.  I push the scone toward him, but he stops me halfway. We don’t flinch at the contact, fingers nearly laced.

“It’s yours. You take it.” He pushed.

“I think you need it more." I push.

“Please.” He adds force.

I let go, leaving his hand alone on the wooden surface. I try to concoct a smile. “Take care of yourself, Spencer.” I stand up from my chair and turn to head toward the exit. The ding of the bell comes and goes, and the sun splashes my face with warmth. Tears collect and cool my cheeks as I walk to the car, but I let them.

[heavenangelly]

Hi!

I would like to ask for some advice. I’m on an SP journey, but it has been a rocky journey. he broke up with me in late jan as if he didn’t can’t wait to get away from me. in early feb, he was enraged that I didn’t want no contact cause I bothered him during his japan trip and he said there was no hope in getting back together anymore and he wouldn’t pick up my calls anymore. he hurriedly said all the best in life and that was our last convo. And we aren’t following each other on social medias anymore, but my flatmates are. afterwards, I was in a really bad head space where i couldn’t eat for a few days, but had to get myself together because i’m still in uni. I was then spamming myself on the law since mid Feb. I was gradually getting better, everyday trying to keep myself together and was doing good deleting social media. In May, my birthday month passed and he didn’t message me or anything even though i was affirming hard and persisting through my tears. I thought I was doing good in May but on early june, I found out thru my flatmate that he went to a yearly event with a 3p and took pictures like we did last year. Like a picture of their shadows together. This has haunted me and I got triggered badly and I had barely managed to get myself to affirming again thru the heart pain that he still belongs to me and that he will still always come back to me since. I cannot afford to falter and waver because i’m in my exam period.

However in May, i never thought he was with a 3p even though earlier on, i noticed he followed someone new on spotify (back when i was still constantly checking his socials like spotify tiktok profile pic and stuff but we weren’t following each other).

I don’t know how to believe with conviction that affirming myself that He is already mine and he only thinks of me regardless of who he’s with, bc I smh keep on intrusively think of the picture of them together as well as their shadow picture together. It’s haunting me and I don’t know how to have faith in the law fully and that he will actually come knocking on my door telling me he still loves me.

we only last talked in late jan, but he seemed to have gone raves and other events with 3p already. And she looks completely different from me and I had a thought that he wanted to look for someone different so he cldnt think of me.

I don’t know how to remind myself of my power that i can create my own reality when something like this happened in 3d while i thought he was busy thinking about me…

I hope you could give me some advice because I don’t want to keep getting triggered whenever i hear the name of the event. I feel my heart breaking while I hear about the event even when i’m affirming to myself that He’s mine and he’s only going to miss me more. But it feels like i’m stuck and powerless… I want this to be a success story and i hope you could help me. I really appreciate it.

Start with imagining. Imagine that sp isn’t actually happy with the 3p and is wishing that he would be with you again. Imagine how he craves you and is in complete regret of letting you go. Now imagine that everyday he wishes you were his again. Then decide he messaged you/met up w u and wants to be YOURS again. Imagine that he is dedicated and loyal. Feel the reality of the scenes and accept them in imagination. Now you have a success story and it is true. Go on in the 3d without stalking his social media and if that image pops up in your head, imagine it was urs and his. Operate in the 3d while knowing that you are in a relationship with him and do not accept no for an answer. You are actually in a relationship with him (since it’s in imagination and imagination creates). Do not let the 3d put you in lack when it is your mirror. Go past it and decide what you want and remain faithful to it because it makes you feel good and you actually want to. Just lose yourself in the feeling, feel its truth and persist in the assumption he’s yours again. Do not identify with the past you where he has a 3p and isn’t with you. That is now a memory/the past.

[yourstruelyxo]

Rumours

Pairing: Rita Castillo x Reader

TW: Swearing, tell me if there’s any other please ❤️

Y/n's POV

"Why don't you just try to understand what i'm going through Rita" I say slightly irritated. "I'm the one sitting in jail Y/n, not you" she says through gritted teeth. "Yes I know that, but do you relise the position you've put me in?" I ask. "What do you mean the position i've put you in" She says in an annoyed tone. "Everyone is talking about us" I tell her. "WHAT!" she shouts, "what do you mean they're talking about us." "I mean they're spreading rumours that we're together and I know that that's true because we are, but i don't know how they know" I say truthfully. She looks around for a moment, "you know what, I bet it's that dirty little bitch Alma Fillcot, she cornered me at the garden party and started raving on about how we're "too close" in her eyes" She spits out.

"Don't worry baby, when i'm out of here i'm going to take that horrible women down" She says while putting her hand on my cheek, "I love you" I say as I blush. "I love you more sweetie" She blows a kiss as I walk out the door. Fuck this. At least she cares.

*time skip because it's my story and i can*

Rita's POV

"Castillo you're out" The warden shouts from down the hall. Yes, YES. God i've been waiting to be with Y/n for so long. Her eyes, Her legs, Her soft skin, Her pillowy lips and Her smile. That gorgeous, delicate, beautiful smile. The guard opens the cell door and takes me to the front. I get clothes, shoes and everything that was on me when I got taken here. "Go change in that room" The guards voice boomed as he pointed to a little room. I did just that, then I was allowed to leave.

"Rita is that you?" Grace said cheerfully. I grunted. "We'll i just couldn't recognise you in those rags" She said with a sympathetic smile. If there's one thing I hate more then rumours it's being pitied. "Well it's called prison chic maybe you should try it Grace, would go well with your complexion" I laugh sarcastically. She rolls her eyes, when suddenly a thought pops into my head.

"Has anything been said about me while i've been...busy?" I ask inquisitively.

"Oh nothing, Just that you've been fucking that girl that lives on elm street, you know the one with y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes. God what's her name again?" She says. "Y/n" I say less then amused. "Ah yes Y/n, we'll I do say you know how to pick 'em, well I can't say I blame you, if I had five minutes with that girl I don't know what i'd do" Grace says laugh as she walks away.

Fuck me. God Y/n was right. I have to find her.

Y/n's POV

Rita got out today, well at least that's what Grace said. I told her everything. I told her about the meetings at the apartment on elms street Rita bought me and when she would sneak me into the house for a quickie now and then. And when she broke my heart by staying with that man. I think Grace told Alma and then she went and told everyone else. I didn't mean to spread rumours. I just, I just needed to get it off my chest. Rita was gone and I wasn't getting her back anytime soon.

"Y/n, Hello, let me in right now" I here Rita's voice echoing through the halls of the apartment. Fuck I thought I had more time. Okay how do you explain something like this. Hey babe, just wanted to let you know I basically told everyone that we're seeing each other and yeah I didn't mean too but you know, oh well. And wake up in heaven, or hell or both. I don't know anymore.

"Sweet girl, please I know your in there" Her voice rings through the apartment again. Well here goose nothing. I open the door and she practically pounces one me. Her lips meet mine and she kisses me like it's the first time in forever. Well it kind of was. "God i've missed you" she says as she rolls her hands down my back and up again, over my shoulders, resting near my collar bones. "I've missed you too Rita" I say and Kiss her again. She breaks the kiss, "Grace told me what has been being said" She sighs, "Oh, really" I say cautiously "And how do you feel about it?" She looks at me, "It's fine, actually it's great" She says sarcastically.

I swallow heavily. "Baby what's wrong?" She says holding meI...uh..i've got something I...I have to tell you" I say looking to her eyes, "Oh...um, go on" she urges me to continue. " oh god ok. I think I might have started the rumours" I whisper "What was that baby?" She looks into my eyes curiously. " um...ok here it goes, um well, um I oh god. I THINK I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED THE RUMOURS" I blurt out. She looks at me with fire in her eyes. "You're fucking kidding me "she says bluntly. "I told Grace, stuff and i'm pretty sure she told Alma" I say while looking in here eyes. She looks stunned. Then she starts thinking. "THAT CONNIVING LITTLE BITCH" she shouts.

"What's wrong?" I say shocked at her reaction. "Grace said that if she had five minutes with you she wouldn't know what to do, I bet she did so you would leave me and she could have you" Rita spat out. She grabbed me and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. "Well I guess i'll have to show her that you're mine" she says as she pulls away. I blush. She kisses my neck, I can feel her tongue attack my neck. She slows down and let's go. "There now she'll know your mine and so will the whole town" She giggles while a hickey slowly forms on my neck. "What about the rumours" I ask cautiously, "Who cares, we'll skip town after everyone knows and find a nice little cottage or something" She says happily.

Maybe this telling grace was for the best. Time will tell, but as long as I have Rita i'll be ok.

[gunilslaugh]

hi^ this is my first time asking and don't know how to do this exactly 😅 but what do you think are the romantic troupes that fit xdinary heroes the best? (fated soulmates, friends-to-lovers, coworkers-to-lovers, etc) danke!

Thank you so much for requesting. I had a lot of fun writing this 😊

All Members &lt;;3 Summary: Xdinary Heroes and what romantic tropes they would be.

WC:1.5k

Warnings:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner

Gunil

• Co-workers to Lovers/ Office Romance

Gunil’s cubicle is directly in front of yours, meaning that you share the front wall. Gunil fully uses this to his advantage. One of his favorite things to do is write you sticky notes. Reaching his hand over the short wall dividing the two of you and placing it somewhere on your side of  the wall. Some are work related, with information about deadlines, resources, materials or just other information relevant to current projects. Others are encouraging messages. Saying things like You’re doing great! :) or  You did really well on this project :]. Finally there are the pickup lines. Some are super cringey, others are so stupid they’re funny, but all of them make you smile. Whenever you would leave your own sticky notes on his side of the wall, Gunil’s heart just melts. 

He also enjoys popping his head over the wall to talk to you. This most often occurs when it’s time for your lunch breaks. Gunil also always insists on walking you to your car at the end of working hours. He must ensure that his favorite coworker is safe. 

Today was going like any other day. It was almost time to pack up and go home when you saw an all too familiar hand reach over and stick a sticky note. However this time it wasn’t about work or an encouraging message or a pickup line. Instead it read Can I take you out on a date?. You pick up a pen and write down your answer before reaching your hand over the wall and sticking the note. 

Jungsu

• Marriage Pact 

You were 19 and going through a hard break up when you and Jungsu made your marriage pact. Your ex at the time broke up with you because they said they didn’t see your relationship going anywhere serious. That you weren’t a person they could settle down with. It was the last part that messed you up. What was wrong with you that made them not want to settle down with you? Were you really that bad? Why couldn’t that relationship go anywhere serious? These questions haunted your mind.

“Y/n there is nothing wrong with you,” Jungsu tried to reassure you.

“But what if there is? What if no one ever wants something serious with me? What if no one wants to marry me?” You began to ramble.

“I’ll marry you,” Jungsu states easily.

“What?” you questioned his unexpected remark.

“If we're both not married by the time we’re 30 I’ll marry you ok?” He suggested.

“Promise?” you asked, sticking out your pinky finger.

“Promise,” he answered, linking your finger together with his.

Jungsu did end up being the one you married, but at the age of 27. Having realized there was no one else you would rather spend your life with. You also found out that when Jungsu initially said he would marry back when you were 19 he meant then and there. 

Jiseok/Gaon

• Matchmaker Gone Wrong

Jiseok was one of your acquaintances. You had met him at a cafe the both of you are frequent visitors at. Whenever you happen to run into each other you guys always exchange small talk. One day he visited the cafe with one of his friends. He saw you sitting at a table and naturally went over to talk to you, telling his friend to order for him. His friend later came over with their drinks in his hands. He thanked his friend before grabbing his drink from him.

“Y/n, this is my friend,” he introduced you guys to one another 

“No wonder you like coming to this cafe,” his friend told him as they exited.

“Should I get their number for you?” Jiseok teased his friend. Not really thinking much of it.

“Are you serious? You’re not into them?” his friend quizzes him.

“We’re just acquaintances. Allow me to play cupid for you,” Jiseok says excitedly at the thought of playing cupid for his friend.

The next time he sees you at the cafe he informs you about his friend's interest in you and asks if he can give your number to him. You agreed, remembering that his friend did seem to be pretty close to your type.

It wasn’t until Jiseok saw you and his friend on a date that an uneasy almost nauseous feeling set into his stomach. The feeling of realization hit him like a punch in the face. He liked you too.

O.de/Seungmin

• Roommates to Lovers

After three years of living with your friend they decided that they wanted to move out and  move in with their current boyfriend. This meant that you had to find a new roommate. That’s how Seungmin entered your life. He was an amazing roommate. The two of you got along great and everything was well. That was until you started to fall for him, that is. You want to blame it on your massive workload that was stressing you out to your core,but realistically you probably would have fallen for him at one point or another anyway. You really couldn’t help it though, just as you were on the verge of a mental breakdown. There was a gentle knock on your door frame. There Seungmin stood with very concerned eyes and a cup of tea in his hands. 

“How about you take a break for a bit?  We can watch a movie,” he suggested carefully. How that turned into you crying in his arms you’re not quite sure. You do know though that as he soothingly rubbed your back and stroked your hair that you wanted to be in his arms more often. Little did you know that this is also the same night he fell for you. Realizing he wanted to be the one to comfort you. He also wanted you to be in his arms more too, which is why he decided that after you get done with your workload and distress he’ll ask you out on a date.

Hyeongjun/Junhan

• Healing one another/ Emotional Scars

Burnt out  and just wanting everything to stop. The noise in your brian was too loud, it felt like you couldn’t even think. That’s how you felt when you first met Hyeongjun. You went on a trip to clear your head (run away from your problems). You thought time away would help you regroup yourself, but you can’t exactly get away from your own head. Hyeongjun seemingly had the same idea as you. He too left on a trip in effort to pull himself back together. Maybe it was your broken souls that gravitated you towards one another.

All you know is one night you found yourself seated on the same bench as him.

“So much for getting away being a reset,” you had said out loud, but it was more for yourself.

“You’re having a hard time too,” the voice of the guy next to you spoke.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, well I mean I have to work I know that, but work makes me want to smash my into a wall,” you pause before realizing your rambling to a stranger. “Sorry that was a bit much,”

“It’s ok I know exactly how you feel. Everything feels like a chore and the noise in my brain,”

“Is too loud,” you say with him. Although you found that when you’re with each other your brains are quieter.

Jooyeon

• Oblivious to Love/ Belated Love Realization 

“I got the email!” you exclaimed, rushing into Jooyeon’s apartment. The email was about your future. It held the result of if you got your dream job. 

“What did it say?” he asked just excitedly.

“I don’t know. I came here first. I’m too scared to open it too,” you explained to him.

“Ok let me open it,” he said, taking your phone from your hand, tapping on the email.

“Wait! I’m scared.” you say, causing Jooyeon to laugh before it comfortingly tells you.

“Hey whatever the results are you’ll be ok,” It all falls silent as he reads the email. You think you can almost hear your heart pounding in your chest. 

“Well!” You yell at him impatiently. He looks at you for a moment and just as you think your heart’s going to sink.

“You got it!” he exclaims crushing you with a hug. You felt exhilarated and began to jump up and down chanting. 

“I got it!” Jooyeon was just as excitedly jumping with you when it hit him. That means you're leaving.  Leaving home, leaving him. Suddenly his heart was the one that was sinking, but he didn’t exactly know why. He couldn’t ruin your day though, so instead he put his happy face back on and celebrated with you.

“I love you,” Jooyeon spoke. It was two days before your flight. Jooyeon insisted on helping you pack everything up. That’s how you found yourself where you're at now, laying on the floor of your packed up apartment staring at the ceiling eyes wide at his confession. “I’m not asking you to stay. In fact I’ll be mad if you don’t go, but I wanted to tell you before you leave that I’m in love with you and I’ll wait for you,”

[lachiennearoo]

I AM ASSEMBLING A TEAM FOR A LOW-BUDGET ANIMATED MOVIE

I know am asking a LOT right now, but considering this is a passion project without a deadline or budget, I guess it's why I'm asking here (and well, I'm no professional lmao).

In 2019, I wrote a short quebecois (french canadian) cyberpunk, action, sci-fi story novel. It was my most beloved project, and it still holds a big spot in my heart (even tho some newer stories of mine are higher quality). Ever since I made it, all I've done is draw scenes, characters, anything from it. I have a folder of about 200 pictures, animatics and concept art added to it over the years. One thing doesn't work for me to do the project though: I can't voice act, I can't make music, and I can't animate (well, not anything above basic storyboards, and I wanna do something in 3D lmao).

I have... well, not a lot of money (no seriously, I am VERY broke). So well while I can try my best to pay anyone who is willing to help, I can't guarantee it'll be a lot (which I know it can be frustrating, as an artist, to not be monetarily compensated for your hard work, so that's why I'm saying it now).

Due to all of this, I'm only asking for people who are GENUINELY interested. I can't provide much in terms of budget so I don't wanna give anyone false hopes. But I promise that I will work very hard to fill in any position that I can, like script writing, character and environmental concept art, direction, I can even try to voice-act if there's not enough actors! As for the work itself, I allow as many breaks as needed. You're allowed to work on any personal project if you ever feel tired or overwhelmed. I too will take many breaks. I don't mind how long it takes, months, one year, a few years even, as long as I know it'll eventually be done and that the people working are genuinely interested.

Now if you've stuck this far and are still interested, I'll share the requirements:

MOST IMPORTANT PART: I am searching for 3D modelers and animators (if you can do both that's cool but it would be nice to separate tasks so it's less tiring for each person working). My characters are very diverse-looking and expressive, so above all, I'd prefer someone who can animate faces well because that's really what I want to pop out (but if you can't, that's okay too, I'm not THAT picky) (tho despite being cartooney, I'm more in the simplistic, Clone Wars - Arcane department than I am in the realistic Disney - Pixar one)

I need voice actors who speak french. No English-only speakers, sorry. Most should be natively québécois (or french who can imitate the accent fluently) but there's a few characters who are anglophones or have a french accent, so that could help too if you're not from Québec but wanna make a voice. The story is rather dramatic and action-packed, with a lot of violence, fight scenes, screams of pain and agony, all that, so be ready for that

And of course, I'd like to have some people who can do the soundtrack (one person or more working together). The story is sci-fi/cyberpunk taking place in Québec, so I'd expect someone who can go more techno, european (and cinematic too)

YOU DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND FRENCH TO WORK. I'm fully bilingual so I won't have trouble communicating with you. The only language requirements would be in voice-acting, or if you're working in team and need to communicate with someone else, but otherwise there really is no need because, well, google translate is a thing, and I can always be a translator for you as well if needed.

BONUS: If there's someone available (you don't HAVE to for that part, it's just to make things easier, but they're not requirements because those are all things I can do myself), I could always get some bonus script writers to help the process go a bit faster, and translators in case someone wants to put subtitles in different languages

Here is the folder of (most) of the art on Artstation: https://www.artstation.com/rosaliegosselin/albums/2467754

And here is a very short animation I did for it a while back (if you don't want spoilers tho, don't watch it, it's one of the last scenes of the story lmao): https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/782216

And here's the story itself (it's just in french tho, sorry about that, but you can just use Google translate): https://www.wattpad.com/story/214223068-magicae-automata

I hope you feel inspired! If you know anyone who might be interested, do feel free to share this with them! I look forward to working with you! Shoot me a DM if you're interested, and if I get enough people, I'll start a discord for all of us to talk!

[hamsterclaw]

Bangtan Christmas Drabble 2

Mistletoe ft Jimin

Park Jimin. You know his date of birth, his blood type, his address all off by heart because you’re the rookie cop who ends up booking him, every single time.

Rating: 18+

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Swearing, fluff

Your colleague Jae pops his head in the door of the break room.

‘Y/N,’ he says, smirking at you. ‘Your boyfriend’s here.’

‘Tell him we broke up,’ you say, rolling your eyes.

‘Don’t break his heart,’ Jae replies. ‘He’s got the blues today.’

You mull over Jae’s cryptic remark as you finish off your tea and head to the front desk.

Turns out it wasn’t that deep.

The man leaning his elbows on the booking desk has bright blue hair today. 

He pulls it off, because he’s easily the best looking guy you’ve seen lately, with his gorgeous skin, angelic face and banging body.

It’s just too bad Park Jimin is a petty criminal who’s terrible at what he does.

‘Hello Mr Park, to what do I owe this pleasure?’ 

You gesture to him to take a seat opposite you at the booking desk.

‘I didn’t do anything,’ Park Jimin tells you earnestly, eyes wide, hands out on the desk.

The handcuffs on his wrists clatter against the metal surface of the desk.

You level him with a look, and humour him because he’s pretty.

‘What were you doing when you were brought in?’ you ask, quickly bringing up a new form on the screen.

You’re filling it with his details when you notice he’s leaning over the desk.

‘You remember my birthday!’ he exclaims, looking genuinely pleased.

‘Don’t flatter yourself, it’s the day before mine,’ you say, rolling your eyes. ‘Same home address?’

‘Yup,’ Jimin confirms. He still looks way too pleased for someone who’s about to spend the night in a holding cell.

The beat cop who brought him in passes you a photocopy of the paperwork.

‘Destruction of public property,’ you read out loud.

You sigh. ‘What was it this time?’ you ask.

‘I graffitied the old library in town,’ Jimin says. ‘Someone had drawn a cock and balls on it. I was covering it up.’

‘With what?’ you ask, weary.

‘Tits!’ Jimin tells you, triumphantly. ‘Tits are nicer to look at than a cock and balls. I was doing a public service!’

He slants his gaze your way. ‘For example —-‘

You thin your lips into a straight line and stare him down.

‘You’re very pretty,’ he ends up saying.

‘Thanks,’ you say, flatly. ‘Come on then, let’s search you.’

He’s already stepping out of his shoes, shrugging his jacket off.

‘Ready,’ he tells you. 

Jimin stands perfectly still as you pat him down, obedient.

As usual, you find nothing on him.

He reaches for his jacket once you’re done. ‘My usual cell?’ he asks, innocently.

You swallow a laugh. ‘Go right ahead.’

Jimin walks right into the holding cell and sits down on the hard bench.

There’s something about his posture as he watches you lock the cell that makes you say, ‘would you like a drink?’

‘Gin and tonic, hold the tonic,’ he answers.

His silvery laughter follows you as you walk back down to the booking desk.

***

You look up, weary, at the now purple-haired man standing before you.

He smiles at you in greeting. 

You have to admit Jimin is gorgeous, but you’re so tired you can barely muster a smile back.

Turns out, he barely notices, because he’s most of the way to blackout drunk.

He slumps into the chair at the booking desk, overbalances, and ends up tipping the flimsy folding chair over to end up sprawled on the floor.

You roll your eyes, then get up to help him.

‘Good morning Mr Park,’ you say, casting a glance at the clock on the wall.

4am.

It seems unfair to you that Park Jimin’s probably had a better Friday night than you’ve had.

‘Detective Y/L/N,’ beams Jimin as you help him up. ‘Nice uniform! Is it new?’

You frown at him but you’re charmed by how pleased he is to see you.

‘This old thing?’ you reply, deadpan. ‘What have you done today, Mr Park?’

‘Well the thing is,’ starts Jimin, his words so crisp he almost sounds sober.

Then he laughs. ‘I didn’t know he had a glass jaw.’

‘Who were you fighting?’ you ask, frowning.

‘This guy,’ Jimin says, waving a hand airily. ‘He was bothering my friend.’

You notice then that his knuckles are bruised and split.

You look up to see Jimin watching you, smiling so hard he’s all cheeks.

‘Wanna kiss them better?’ he asks.

‘Not today,’ you say sternly. ‘Our holding cells are full, I’m going to release you with a caution.’

Jimin looks almost disappointed. ‘You’re not even going to frisk me?’

He leans forward. ‘I have something in my pants for you.’

‘Not interested,’ you say briskly.

He pouts at you. 

You sigh. ‘Get out of here, Mr Park.’

He considers you, realisation dawning in his eyes. ‘No, did you think I meant my dick? I really do have something for you.’

You watch warily as he rummages in the pocket of his pants.

‘If your pants weren’t so tight it’d be easier to get things out of your pockets,’ you advise.

He just smirks at you and holds out his hand, palm up.

In the centre of it is a coffee sweet.

‘You probably can’t accept things from me,’ he says softly. 

He puts it on the table. 

‘We’ll just say you asked me to empty my pockets.’

He looks at you for a moment, and he looks almost sober. 

‘You look tired, Detective. You should look after yourself.’

And then he’s walking off. 

He does a graceful skip as he leaves the police station, almost like he knows you’re watching him.

***

You’re at the convenience store after work, picking up milk and bread. 

The sliding doors open, bringing in a rush of cold air and two men, joking and shoving each other.

One man is tall, dressed in clothes that look three sizes too big for him.

The other is Park Jimin.

His eyes meet yours, and in a moment he’s walking over to you.

‘Detective,’ he says, nodding politely.

You nod back. ‘Mr Park.’

‘Call me Jimin,’ he says. 

‘I won’t,’ you reply.

He laughs at you. ‘It’s late, are you alone?’

You don’t answer his question but he’s already nodding at his friend. ‘I’ll meet you later, Jungkook.’

He follows you into the chilly night. 

‘Do you live far?’

‘I don’t need you to walk me home,’ you tell him. 

‘Oh I know,’ he says. He smiles at you, almost shyly, breath coming out in puffs of white in the winter cold. 

You walk together in silence.

You wonder if it’s a good idea for him to know where you live.

He says, ‘I’ve been trying to stay out of trouble.’

‘Good,’ you say, encouraging.

He frowns at you. ‘Aren’t you going to miss me?’

‘I’d rather you stayed out of trouble,’ you say, truthfully.

He considers this.

You pass by two men, and Jimin steps closer to you automatically, sliding a gentle hand under your elbow to steady you.

You fall into step with him easily. His hip bumps yours as you walk.

You’re almost disappointed when you reach your building.

‘I won’t look at which number flat you are,’ Jimin says. ‘I just wanted you to get home safe.’

He smiles at you. ‘Good night, Detective.’

‘Good night Jimin,’ you say. 

He’s true to his word, not turning back to look, walking briskly now in the cold. 

You watch him go until he turns a corner and you can’t see him anymore.

***

You’re standing outside the police station having shared a cigarette with Jae. It’s been another long fucking day, full of shit that happened that no one would believe if they weren’t doing the same job you were. 

Jae tilts his head. ‘I’ll make us coffee.’ 

You nod. You’re covering patrol tonight, about to set off, but you’d needed a break after the last job. 

Fuck. People are shit. 

You’re turning to head back inside when you hear your name called. 

You’d know that silvery voice anywhere. 

Park Jimin’s got a beanie on today, but you can tell from the lock of hair that’s fallen in his face that his hair’s blond now. 

You haven’t seen him in a while, and with the shifts you’ve been pulling you’re pretty sure you couldn’t have missed him if he’d been brought in. 

He smiles at you, as usual, cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes bright. 

‘Hey,’ he says. 

You can’t help but smile. 

‘Hey.’ 

‘How are you doing?’ he asks. 

‘Tired. Haven’t seen you in handcuffs in a while.’ 

He laughs quietly. ‘I promised you I’d stay out of trouble.’ 

His eyes twinkle. ‘Well, I promised myself I wouldn’t get caught.’ 

You laugh too. 

It’s dark outside the station, but you can see enough to know he’s got his hands in his pockets again. 

He pulls out his hand, holding a sprig of mistletoe. 

You burst out laughing. 

‘Do you carry that around with you?’ 

He just smiles. ‘I put it in my pocket because I was hoping to see you.’ 

You shake your head. ‘Merry Christmas, Mr Park.’ 

He pulls his other hand out of his pocket, holding out a coffee sweet to you. ‘Merry Christmas, Detective Y/L/N.’ 

You accept. 

‘I was thinking, since I don’t get arrested anymore, maybe we can go get coffee or something,’ he says. 

It’s not the most romantic proposal you’ve ever had, but it’s sweet nonetheless. 

‘Stay out of trouble and I’ll think about it,’ you say. 

His smile is as pretty as it ever was. He nods. 

He’s starting to walk away when you say his name. 

He stands perfectly still in front of you, and you’re leaning towards him when the lights outside the station come on. 

He blinks, and you kiss him anyway. 

It’s short, a brush of your lips on his, but it’s the nicest thing you’ve had on this otherwise bullshit Christmas eve. 

When you pull away he’s smiling, hands shoved in his pockets. 

‘What time do you finish?’ he asks. 

You tell him. 

He nods again. ‘I’ll meet you here, ok?’ 

‘Yeah, ok.’ 

He holds open the door to the station for you, then he waves at you through the glass. 

You’re still smiling when you turn away. 

©hamsterclaw 2022

[ss-2dplatformer]

Day 14 (Part One) Development continues.

I think I need to ignore the brick tiles for now, and just focus on getting it all properly done.

I need to focus on making my levels, getting them to a complete state, and then figure out the correct sprite textures afterwards. I think this is most likely what is halting my progress as I am trying to be a perfectionist with some tiles that will most likely just be background pieces and not used that often, if at all.

But I am taking a break from this because... *drum roll* I AM MAKING A HUD! (Woooo)

First I open the contents drawer and head over to the folder of all of the things I have made. (Aptly titled 'ThingsIMade') Then make a new folder for the hud, and then right click, scroll down to the bottom where it says 'User Interface'. At the bottom of the pop out, select Widget Blueprint, and there we go.

I then select the only option that appears onscreen and open the newly created blueprint.

Once open, I search 'Canvas Panel' and drag it out, and inside of the panel, I place a text box and customise it to my liking. I am left with this.

From there, I open the player character blueprint, and find the Event BeginPlay in the Input Mapping. I break the node link and drag it to the left to give me more space. Then I drag off of the white triangle and make a new node of 'Create Widget'. In the class of the newly created node, I search for the HUD blueprint I made (I simply titled it 'HUD') and then select it. After this, you drag off of the blue Return Value to make a new node, in which you search for 'Add to Viewport.' Once this is made, I connect the Add to Viewport node to the original node I broke Event BeginPlay off of. Then I am left with this.

And now when I click play, I can see the newly created HUD in the top left where I created it.

Of course, the original print text of my HP and score are still there, but they will be changed to proper UI elements soon enough.

Additionally, in order to make my UI work on a variety of screen sizes, I would need to anchor it so that it never moves. I enter the details of the text box I placed, and at the top, you see Anchors. I opened the drop down menu and selected the first option in the top left. This means my UI should now stay in place whether you play on a tiny phone or a massive monitor.

Now I am testing if images work.

And they definetly seem to.

Of course this image isn't staying forever, but it was just a test to see if it worked, and it does.

And the HP works too.

Again, these images aren't staying forever and are purely for testing purposes. I just thought I'd have a little fun with it first.

Anyways, now for actual images to add. I have to create the icon for my HP, and probably score too, though that can just be a number since it wouldn't be worth making an individual sprite for every single attainable score point in the game.

I am stuck between two ideas. I either do the standard heart icon for the health. Or I fully commit to the bricks, and make the health icon a brick too.

Still deciding between the two.

Anyways, back to making the HUD work first. I selected my Score text box and clicked the bind next to the text box. It then presents me with a popup to create a bind, and I do just that. Then it brings me to this screen.

I break the node link, then off the Get Text, i make a 'Get Actor Of Class' node. Under Actor Class, I select the blueprint of my character 'BP Third Person Character'.

Off of the Return Value, I search for Get Score. Then from the Get Score, off of the green part, I find 'To Integer (String)', in which I then connect that to the pre-existing Return Node, which leaves me with this.

However, because my score is stored in my game instance as opposed to my character, I need to change this slightly. Instead of Get Actor Of Class, I need Cast To- and then whatever your game instance is called. Here, mine is called AwesomeGame (because the game is very awesome, of course.) Then, from the object part of the node, you want Get Game Instance.

Not very many changes, and this is what I am left with.

However, this completely replaces the Score: that I had on the original HUD, so I will ammend this slightly. I break the node connector between the convert integer to string and the To Text node. Off of the converting integer to string, I put an append string. Make sure it is the string variant and not the list version. Anyways, it will automatically go to A which is fine but here I want it to go to B so I switch it over. Then in the box next to A, I type in 'Score: ' and then connect everything back up. It looks like this once I am done.

And it works ingame as expected.

(I need to get rid of the among us images. Doing it now.)

Oh and now that there are proper UI elements, you can get rid of the print strings which were previously used to put elements onto the screen prior to the UI.

Now to do the same for my HP. However, unlike my score, the HP is stored in the player character, so I do as originally shown with the Get Actor Of Class and such.

And I can happily confirm that it now works as intended.

I decided to overlay the heart sprite over the HP, and I think it looks alright, though of course later on I'll need to implement animations of some sort.

Additionally, I decided to scrap the brick (for now) as I feel I may be going too heavy with them.

Anyways, this is where I'm leaving this post off.

It needs tweaking but I can do that this afternoon.

[sexintheraine]

October 17th.

The last day of my shackles. The last day he was here.

My last relationship was with a drunk. I have slowly grown to hate that word. I myself have only felt those effects 3 times in my life. And every single time, I’ve had the time of my life… but I’ve also made the choices that have had significant effects on my life too.

The first time. Summer of 2018. I drank alcohol before that moment - but never to the point of excess.

The summer of 2018. I had just gotten out of a 3 yr relationship with my best friend and he broke up with me because he felt we were “too different” and wanted “different things out of life”. I didn’t agree but I couldn’t change his mind. Nor did I want to after being let down by his own undoing. I called my ex from before him. (My toxic ex that somehow always was there for me when shit hit the fan.) we met at Total Wine and I bought a six pack of angry orchard. We drove to his townhome neighborhood and twisted open bottle after bottle. I drank four while I didn’t know where to put my hands and we talked about our lives without each other. He told me all about his recent break up and I drank every word with the liquid I was swallowing. I went to stand to leave and the effects hit. He caught me before my face hit the ground and it was the first time we actually touched the entire night. I was melting all over again. He sat me back on the curb and grabbed a bottle of water out of his car. The gesture caught my heart in my throat and I leaned my head on his shoulder while I sipped.

“Want to come over?” I finally said.

“Your family would not want to see me.” He objected. I was still living with my parents.

“My family is out of town. I could sneak you in.” My words were slurry and serious as I attempted to search his eyes. He still objected. “You could fuck me.” I stated finally - the words were serious, but playful. His expression hardened for a moment before he softened them and then laughed.

“They’re really not home?” He confirmed. I nodded enthusiastically and smiled - which turned into an intoxicated giggle.

“Come on” I tried to stand to get to my drivers side door and he stood and caught me as I fell towards my car. Facing him I wrapped my arms over his shoulders. “You always know how to make me feel better.” My words were a slurred whisper. His hard features broke into a small smile. “I just want your body on mine.” I was really milking it now.

“Where are your keys?” I searched my pockets. Giggled with glee when I found them. “I’ll drive” he stated - taking them from me and guiding me to the passengers side door.

I don’t remember the drive much - other than my excitement building and the peaks I kept taking at him as he drove my car. I remember pulling up to my parents house and a friend of my brothers being at the house. He looked to me for what to do. I told him to go in through the back while I went through the front door. He waited for me to go in first so I could distract my brothers friend who was playing guitar in the living room. I told him immediately that I was sneaking someone in and not to look behind him while I watched the movement of my lover go up the stairs and he laughed at me asking if I were drunk. I said yes and he laughed and said “right on, dude”. I made my way upstairs. He turned around at the sight of me. I through my clothes off faster than I ever have (even to this date) and pulled his lips to mine. He fucked me hard and fast. We couldn’t get enough. I begged him to stay. He said he’d be back in the morning with my car and left.

The second time was late 2018. October, probably. I was in Charleston with my brothers - performing with our band at the Music Farm the next evening. I had one too many cocktails at this fancy bar we popped into called Probition. The drink tasted like a naked juice and I was obsessed with it. I had three. Then promptly got the courage to tell my oldest brother that I had a crush on his best friend. (The one who is now a person I never want to lay eyes on ever again. The one who made home life pretty miserable for the last two years of our four year relationship… the same one I gave everything to and got nothing in return. The same one who is currently suing me for money from my house just because he signed the piece of paper when I was first purchasing it. He has legal rights to it because of a signature and no contribution. The same “best friend” who said awful things and tore everyone down with narcissistic tendencies I had to listen to, in his drunken rage. Never taking the blame… yes… that best friend… the one who finally moved out on October 17th, 2023)

I wish I had known what I know now. I wish I hadn’t put him on a pedestal. I wish I hadn’t trusted him to do the right thing and instead, protected myself. I wish I had given my love to someone else. For the first time in my life… I regret someone. I regret the choice I made to trust him. I regret the choice I made to stay for so long in the toxicity of hoping he would get better. I regret imagining a life with someone who was never going to give me the world and the peace I needed.

I now crave the love. I crave adoration (from me to them and them to me.) I want someone who will hold me in the middle of the day and brush the strand of hair out of my face while they tell me I’m pretty. I want someone who craves adventure and is playfully sexy. I want someone who can’t keep their hands off me. But also wants to make dinner and who will melt against me while I wrap my arms around them as they are doing the dishes. I want to wake up next to someone who says goodmorning in an adorable wonder of how lucky is he that I am there. And how lucky am I that he is here. I want the give and take and take and give. I want the trust to be trusted and the depth to be unlocked. We became surface and then we became argumentative. We became nothing quickly after. If I knew what I know now…. I wouldn’t have had that last drink in Charleston. I would have never told my brother how I felt. I would have found someone else to love. I would probably be married with a baby.… I would probably still be sad about something. But at least I wouldn’t be scared of erratic behavior and Tito’s bottles.

The third time I got drunk, was at my best friends wedding. I got home after. Got naked and stripped of my dress and fell asleep on the couch… wine drunk.

Two years ago… October 2022. I wonder where I’ll be this October….