#pop story time- the lion was feeling wounded and weak so he went up to the gazzel and roared who is the king of the jungle

[tothesolarium]

Did ya know I illustrated a book? The way of Loving Kindness: an imperfect process of spiritual engagement by David Orendorff. I keep forgetting to make a nice post about it with teasers and stuff but- this is my grandpa, one of the kindest people I’ve met next to my Nana and some friends.

They’re the reason I’ve been able to work on my art and story so much recently, and have been keeping me from drowning in these… Emotions, to say the least.

The book is about the universal love and the work of being kind to the whole. He is a Methodist and a retired pastor, but he considers my magic and demons to be just as loving and good as what he does. Well, he’s certainly helped more people directly than I have, but he’s an old man! Give me time to catch up fhfhdhs

So to my witches and whoever else follows me, I really recommend this book. It’s got ten illustrations of mine, and a lot of good words.

He’s a wizard but wouldn’t call himself one, but has a better altar than I do.

Y’all better know what a big deal it is for me to recommend something like this

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.

[sarahlynn225-blog]

Taming the Lion Chapter 2

Summary:  He doubted he’d see her again, but found a part of him hoped he would…McCoy finds himself faced with something quite unexpected, meanwhile Jim is hiding something, academy into movie(s), featuring hurt/comfort, drama, friendship, action all the good stuff

Chapter: 2 

Rated: T

A/N: Some hurt Jim in this one ;)

Six Months Later….

McCoy breathed deep the rich aroma of his ‘real’ coffee. Nurse Pletchet was a saint. He took a satisfying sip. Yeah good coffee could improve any day.

“I swear if your hand ‘accidentally’ touches my ass again I will drop you!” A female voice the up till that moment, quiet medbay.

“It ‘is’ an accident lighten up would ya?”

McCoy closed his eyes. He knew that voice, it practically having been burned into his memory the first time he’d heard it on that shuttle.

On second thought, where Jim was involved coffee would never cut it. Reluctantly setting the steaming mug down, he went out to meet his friend.

Leonard cocked an eyebrow at the scene playing out before him. Jim was being supported by a disheveled female cadet who looked like she really did want to drop him. They were both covered in mud, uniforms torn in places; blood marred the left side of Jim’s face. She quickly deposited him onto a biobed before facing McCoy and he was met with a familiar hazel green gaze.

Cadet Allison Young. He wasn’t sure if he should be surprised that he remembered her name or not, deciding to keep that tidbit of info from Jim. The idiot would no doubt tease him about it endlessly.

Her hair was in a braid that had seen better days, strands of it hanging in her face. She looked tired and straight up done with Jim.

She gave him a sort of half smile pulling at the hem of her uniform. It seemed to be an almost nervous gesture.

“Bones!” The blonde said all to excitedly, giving him that cocky ass grin and grabbing his attention.

“What the hell’d you do to yourself this time Jim?” He demanded grabbing a tricorder on his way over.

Young stood back arms folded face pinched with obvious irritation and maybe pain, though she had no visible injuries. Her previous unease seemed to have gone. “He tripped and fell during our Away Team SIM, hit his head on a rock.”

“I did not trip.” Jim groused and Young snorted.

“That’s what people usually call it when they make uncoordinated contact with the ground.”

“I’m fine, I had something soft to land on.” He said with a smirk at her to which she responded with a glare. Though McCoy thought he saw a slight flush rise to her cheeks under the mud smudged on her face.

“You’ve got a concussion, which is far from fine.” He snapped, obviously not everything he’d landed on had been soft, figures. “And that laceration needs to be cleaned and sealed.” He frowned when the tricorder revealed something else. “You’ve got a fever.”

Jim looked suddenly uncomfortable. “It’s nothing.”

McCoy glared at him. “It sure as hell isn’t nothing, damn it Jim why didn’t you tell me?” He demanded.

“Because it’s nothing, just a cold or something.” Jim insisted.

“It damn well is not ‘just a cold’.” His body was definitely trying to deal with some sort of infection. He intensified his exploration trying to find it’s source. Something on his upper right arm.

“Take your shirt off.”

Jim practically spluttered. Really he was gonna get bashful now? Though McCoy knew it wasn’t because of embarrassment, well maybe on some level. Kirk hated showing any kind of weakness. He glanced pointedly at Young then one of the biobeds. She took one further back, looking somewhat amused. A nurse approached her tricorder in hand.

He returned his gaze to Jim expectantly, knowing that it really wasn’t because of her presence that caused his reluctance. Having her out of the picture could still help though. Jim gave him a look and with a roll of his eyes Leonard pulled the privacy curtain, then folded his arms giving him a much sterner look.

“Jim-”

“All right, all right jeez.” He grumbled starting to ease the shirt over his head.

McCoy sighed when he seemed to be having trouble, helping the rest of the way. Jim looked suddenly paler, hair even more mussed upon reappearing, and he knew that look.

“Crap!” He growled lunging for a nearby basin, shoving it under him as Kirk vomited.

McCoy took the moment to examine his arm. There was a nasty looking cut just below his shoulder, the skin around it red and inflamed practically screaming infection.

“That sucked.” Jim grumbled, head still hanging over the basin.

The cut was long and deep though it had already closed over. He’d have to reopen it to clean out the infection. Leonard noted it looked suspiciously like a knife wound, and it was then that he realised why Jim may have kept this to himself. Pike had warned the kid about fighting.

“Jim.” He said carefully.

“Leave it Bones.” There was something in his tone that had McCoy clenching his jaw worry settling in his gut. It told him there was something more to the story.

“You dizzy?” He asked instead.

“Um, maybe a little.”

McCoy blinked in slight surprise at the admission. He must really feel like crap, then again who wouldn’t, with a concussion and a fever of a hundred degrees, and rising.

He grabbed a hypo and Jim eyed it as if it were a weapon of mass destruction.

“Relax princess it’s just a little something to lower your fever.” He said and Kirk gave him a look before-with obvious reluctance-letting him inject him. It was the first of many hypos he was going to have to administer, but he opted to keep that to himself for the moment.

“I’m gonna have to reopen that to clean it out.” He said gesturing at the cut. Jim grimaced. “And you need antibiotics.” Moment over. He grabbed another hypo.

This time Jim physically flinched away from it and Bones sighed. He was about to chastise him when he saw the fever burning in Kirk’s eyes, blue orbs a little glazed over.

Part of McCoy still wanted to snap at him, lecture him, but instead he rained in a little lowering his voice.

“Jim.” He caught his eye and the younger man sighed, blinking away some of the confusion.

“Yeah Bones, I’m with ya.” He mumbled.

Leonard eyed him a moment longer before holding up the hypo and gesturing at the others. “Antibiotics, analgesics, and something for the nausea.”

Jim opened his mouth as if to protest but McCoy interrupted. “It’ll help Jim quit being an infant.”

He grimaced but Leonard knew that he appreciated him explaining what he was going to give him.

McCoy shook his head getting to work.

“So, Cadet Young.” Jim said after a moment and he nearly rolled his eyes. Of course Kirk would focus in on the pretty girl. He glanced up briefly at the curtain that separated them from the rest of the med bay, as if he could see her through it. He wondered if she’d been injured, Dr. Sanders would’ve been called over.

“I landed on her you know.” Of course he did. “You think she’ll still go out with me if I ask?”

If McCoy hadn’t been known for his steady hands as a doctor, he would’ve flinched and his work on Jim’s head wound would’ve, not been pretty.

“Not likely.” He grumbled an odd feeling suddenly swirling in his gut.

“Couldn’t hurt to try right?”

An image of Cadet Taggert popped into the physician’s head, he had an inkling on what Young might do if Jim were to try hitting on her.

“Might, you know Taggert?”

“Who Thomas? Yeah why?” Jim asked curiosity clearly peaked.

“You ever wonder who gave him that broken nose couple months back?” Why was he telling him this? Since when did Leonard McCoy ever give a shit about these things? And he was most definitely not jealous, he barely knew the woman.

Jim’s eyes widened a fraction. “Her?”

McCoy cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Seriously? Thought it was Walsh.”

Made sense, Young had said she’d been in the line of fire.

“Guy did have it coming.” Jim muttered as Bones finished up with his head.

“All right, I’m gonna get started on your arm.” He said gathering his needed tools hoping to deviate the conversation away from Young.

“How long’s this gonna take?” Jim asked and Bones gave him yet another look as he replied.

“As long as it needs to Jim, if you’d come in sooner I wouldn’t even have to be doing this.” He glanced at the biobeds readouts. Jim’s temp was at a solid one hundred degrees. It was falling, if a bit slowly.

He wasn’t exactly happy about having to reopen a wound that was clearly bothering his friend, so distraction.

“You gonna tell me exactly what happened?” He asked and could see Jim tence at the question.

“Told ya it was nothing Bones.” Jim grumbled not looking at him, which he only did when he was trying to hide something.

“Jim-”

“I asked you to leave it then.” Kirk practically snapped and Bones paused in his work eyeing him. Jim’s hackles were up, he was on the defensive and that usually meant getting information out of him would be like pulling a tooth, without anesthesia.

McCoy however wasn’t one to back down, and Jim was his friend, his best friend if he allowed himself the thought and someone had hurt him. He wanted names.

But…he nearly sighed, it would be easier with a bottle of whisky between them. When Jim got like this it usually meant whatever had happened was due to something from his past. Jim was never inclined to discuss that sober. He didn’t like it but decided for now, he would leave it. For now.

Silence followed as Leonard worked to clean out the infection.

“Bones.” Jim said suddenly softly, and he glanced up sharply quickly setting down his tools to grab the basin once more.

The dry heaves left Jim shaky and clutching the basin like a lifeline. Bones waited a few more moments before speaking.

“Lay down Jim.” He took the basin away. Figures the anti-nausea meds didn’t really work, he couldn’t use the really good stuff because he was allergic. To his surprise Jim didn’t protest which spoke volumes about how he felt.

He hesitated before continuing on the cut. It needed to be done before the infection could get any worse, which he prayed it didn’t, Jim always had a crappy immune system.

When he finally finished clearing out the infected tissue and giving it a good cleaning Jim was dozing. McCoy glanced once more at the biobed readings. Temp was at ninety nine but holding steady, his concussion was mild and he didn’t foresee any complications on that end. He’d have to leave the cut open incase the infection resurfaced, not wanting to use the dermal regenerator until he knew it was gone.

He started cleaning up standing.

“Bones,” Again Jim’s voice was soft, a look at his face told Leonard that it wasn’t because he was going to be sick again. “Sorry.”

A smirk tugged at McCoy’s mouth knowing that had Jim been in his right mind, he’d be red in the face with embarrassment. Obviously he felt bad for snapping at him, and for everything else, he would’ve apologized eventually, but the fever and concussion left his tongue a little looser now.

“Just go to sleep Jim.” Leonard said, and there was ‘not’ any fondness in his tone. He knew for a fact that in a few hours Jim would be more alert and begging him to be released. Maybe he would, he could really use a shower.

He set the bed to alert him if he woke and stepped out from behind the curtain. To his surprise Young was still there. She hadn’t noticed him yet, staring down at her hands held loosely in her lap.

Frowning, he hesitated before approaching.

“Still here?” He asked wondering if Sanders had looked her over yet. She looked up sharply a grimace crossing her features briefly.

“Oh, um yeah, how is he?” She asked and Leonard blinked. That odd feeling returned to his gut.

“He’ll be fine.” He said voice clipped tone sharp, and her features seemed to fall a little.

“I was just curious, he looked like crap before the whole SIM started.” She muttered softly. All at once Leonard felt a little guilty; whether the concern was for a friend or not, it was genuine concern.

He made an effort to change his tone.

“He said he landed on top of you.” A statement, Jim didn’t ‘usually’ lie.

She chuffed. “Yeah, he fell from about six feet up I, unfortunately, broke his fall.” She said with another grimace, rubbing the back of her neck.

McCoy cocked an eyebrow at her. Why was she still here? “Sanders look you over?” He asked.

Young looked suddenly uncomfortable. “Uh, no actually, I was kinda hoping you would.”

The surprise must’ve shown on his face because she quickly spoke again.

“I’m not really fond of hospitals and you just-”

McCoy turned grabbing a tricorder and she quited. A little voice told him that her reasons could be different but he firmly squashed it. Some patients just liked consistency that’s all.

“You hit your head?” He asked and she shrugged wincing.

“I don’t know, no? There was a bush…” She trailed off and he focused on her head for a moment. No concussion, but she’d definitely strained some muscles in her neck and back and- Some of the bruising lower down was fairly deep and he was a little concerned about her right kidney. Her ribs were definitely bruised.

“I’m gonna need to take a look at your back.” He said it absently though he was anything but.

“Ok.” She said, voice softening, and he walked around the biobed.

He hesitated before carefully lifting her shirt up, revealing the marred skin. McCoy had always been more of a hand’s on kind of doctor, relying on only his equipment just wasn’t in his nature. There was something to be said about physical contact too, a proven gesture of comfort.

Reaching out he gently ran his fingers over the bruises. Heat radiated from the inflamed skin and she flinched at the touch.

“Sorry, looks like you bruised a kidney.” He said holding the tricorder closer to get a better reading. “It ain’t bad but it’ll be painful for a while.”

Young huffed a laugh. “Kirk’s not exactly a lightweight.” She mumbled. Bones let the shirt fall back into place coming around to face her once more.

“Your ribs are bruised, muscles wrenched pretty good.”

“So what you’re saying is I won’t be running the marathon I signed on for tomorrow.” Young stated. Bones gave her a look that faltered when he saw the spark of amusement in her eyes. He nearly rolled his feeling an odd jolt of, something, and couldn’t help the amusement that tugged at his lips. Normally he would’ve-like with most cadets-scowled at the joke but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it with her.

“I’ll give you some muscle relaxers and something for the pain, beyond that ain’t nothing but rest gonna do you any good.” He said gathering the needed hypos. There wasn’t really enough damage to her kidney to warrant any repairs.

She accepted each without complaint, shoulders relaxing as the analgesic kicked in.

For someone who claimed to not like hospitals, she was pretty compliant.

“You see any blood in your urine come right in don’t wait.” He said gruffly. “Same with any dizziness.”

She nodded an unidentifiable expression on her face, though she seemed more relaxed now.

“Get some rest, I’ll put a note out to your professors that you won’t be in the rest of the day, and tomorrow.” He readied himself for a protest-fifty percent of cadets would-but she just nodded again looking tired.

Even with the muscle relaxers she moved stiffly getting off the bed. “Thanks.”

“Yeah yeah, you’re welcome.” Bones grumbled focusing on her file.

“I was right you know,” She said. “you should smile more.”

McCoy looked up at her, surprise making him slightly slack jawed. She herself had a small smile tugging at her lip a sort of shyness to her features. Before he could say anything-and for the life of him he didn’t know what that would even be-she spoke again.

“Feel better Kirk.” She directed the words past him and he found himself glancing back to see that he’d left the privacy curtain slightly open. Jim was watching with half lidded eyes.

Seriously why hadn’t the bed-oh that’s what that soft beeping was.

He turned back but found Young was once again leaving before he could react properly. He watched her go before wandering over to Jim.

“Bones?” The idiot had a smirk on his face. “Were you just, checking out her ass?”

Leonard huffed, rolled his eyes, and pulled the privacy curtain back into place.

Jim’s soft chuckles permeated the silence.

[youllneverknowmysecretidentity]

Chapter 3- a memoir

Hell, fuckin hell. My childhood I spent hoping for adventure, hoping for a journey, or my mark on the world. This, is just shit. Why did I have to ask for this again? Don’t get me wrong Mullen is enjoyable, hot, and gentle. I just don’t particularly enjoy being a target, after last night I realized that if he was chased out of his home by a god of darkness, how long would it be until they sensed he set his sights on a weak mortal? Hence my excessive internal cursing. Waking up today was the hardest it’s been in a year or so, on days I didn’t want to be existent I just sat and stared at the wall until my mom yelled at me, now I can’t even seem to find the motivation then. My mother’s footsteps echoed through the halls and into my room. “Hannah! Are you still asleep??” I looked over to her with apathy, “yeah, I just have a skull splitting migraine.” I wasn’t lying, the amount of information spinning in my head about Mullen was killing me emotionally. “I’m sorry Hannah, I don’t think you should miss school though, take some aspirin with you and don’t go to practice later.” She walked out and began her day. I got dressed as well as I could and made my way downstairs to already see coffee and breakfast, dad must have left a little later. Eating was hard, drinking was even harder. The feeling of apathy was washing through my veins and into my spirit. When I finally finished my morning routine and was ready to go, I dreaded seeing people I knew, blasting music might help. “You look exhausted dove, are you alright?” I jumped and looked over to see Mullen, he wasn’t wearing his trademark hide trench coat or his feather necklace, I then realized that I completely missed them laying in my back seat as I was packing my car. “Did you sleep in my car?” He blushed and shrugged, “I was afraid someone would notice me if I slept on the roof and I wanted to bid you a good school day before I went hunting.” “Hunting?” He nodded, “yes, although I’m a god I cannot go without food, the beast part of me prefers wild kill, plus, I picked up a foreign presence in the woods here in town, I need to check it out.” I nodded, so he’s becoming a guardian of the town too, that actually pretty cool. “Well good luck on your hunting then, don’t get killed.” He chuckled, “I should be bidding you good luck, you’re uneasy. People are stressing you out.” I widened my eyes and stared at the parking lot entrance, I sped into a parking space and aggressively put my car into park. “I’m not just stressed about that!” He looked taken back but lowered his head for me to continue so I did. “Everything has been so stressful recently, people abandoning me for some dumb ass rumor, a coach who barely goes to me for advice anymore, my teammates who barely speak to me, and now a god who’s attached his soul to me and I feel exposed again, like an open wound! I never wanted romance again and now the scar is fresher and I’m tense!” He curved his eyebrows in concern, and then lowered them in frustration, “I know people have been cruel, i cannot kill them, that would put me on Qions radar, but I can assure you that I’m here to protect you, I care for you and my soul is yours. I promise not to hurt you.” I lowered my head, “I’m not worried about you hurting me, I’m worried about me hurting you, I shouldn’t lash out on people but I’m always so angry.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I relaxed. “Dove, I vow to calm you.” I looked at him with watery eyes, then to the clock. “Don’t worry you still have 20 minutes, let me tell you a funny story.” He then proceeded to hand me a small amulet with a tiny wooden lion on the end, the size of a dime. He put it around my neck and smiled. “Well the story starts about 1,000 years ago....” The headache went away after lunch, my TA block was quieter this time. I stared out the library window, it had started raining about an hour ago, I toyed with the lion around my fingertips. So distracted by it I never sensed someone behind me, “hey you doing okay?” I looked over to see Grady, I smiled and motioned for him to sit down. “I guess, just a little stressed after everything.” He nodded,” people are dicks, no one likes when you speak your mind and maryville trusts a rumor more than the person itself.” “I guess so, can I tell you something? And you promise not to tell anyone?” He nodded and smiled, “even if you were hiding a dead body in your car I would still not talk.” I smiled, “I met someone.” “Woah, do I know him?” “That’s the hard part, it’s a really long story....” “HES A WHAT?!?!” I shushed Lauren as people headed to their cars began to stare, “he’s gotta be lying Hannah there’s no way he’s some ‘protection god’ he’s gotta be some pedo or something of the sort.” “She’s got a point Hannah, your story was good and all but there’s something he’s hiding.” I nodded feeling defeated but I knew this reaction would come, “fine, let me show you then.” “How?” I looked at Lauren and smiled, “Friday after school, clear your schedules and come hike with me on a trail not too far from here, he likes to reside in those parts.” Lauren squinted at me and smiled, “you’ve gone crazy, but you’re still the chaotic Hannah we remember. I’m in.” Grady spun his head and looked at her, “what if she’s planning on leading us to that killer?” “Cmon, Hannah doesn’t have an evil bone in her body, plus I trust her.” I smiled and hugged them both, “you’ll both be in for the shock of your life!” Grady groaned and muttered something about being in his grave. I didn’t listen and instead chose to drive home and get ready for Friday. Wednesday- “So what does he look like?” Lauren slid into a chair beside me at the lunch table. I rolled my eyes and thought for a moment. “Well, he’s got blue green eyes that are just beautiful, he’s not short but he’s not tall, very muscular build, brownish blonde hair, a nice beard, he’s got a deep British accent.” She smiled, “He a bad boy?” “Nah, he’s a gentle soul but I definitely feel like he’d get his hands dirty if it was necessary.” Grady stared us down before piping in,”getting his hands dirty like killing us in the woods?” “Oh please give it a break, he’s not gonna kill us.” “He does transform into a lion though.” Lauren and Grady looked at me before I smiled and continued,”big lion with shiny black fur, he’s the size of a grizzly bear and almost has the build of one while still keeping a lion shape, and the most beautiful eagle wings you could lay your eyes upon, it’s truly a sight to behold.” Lauren smiled, “yep, definitely gone crazy.” Friday- The day of was hectic, Lauren constantly reminded me of the hiking trip and Grady was too busy making a mental list of any weapon he needed to bring, I told him his best weapon was going to be a smile. The final bell rung and our group rushed out the door and into our respective cars, shooting a quick text to my mom letting her know I was going to the trail, I sped through the parking lot, a lion with Golden heavenly wings on my mind. We finally arrived to the trail and started to make our way to the trail head, “stop.” Grady said suddenly, “you’re sure that this is safe and we’re not going into some formulated death trap?” I smirked, “if I wanted to kill you so badly, I would have done it already.” Lauren laughed and continued walking into the trail Grady following closely behind. We stayed on the trail for a good mile or so. I began to get nervous that I would not see him, I had told him the night before that I wanted him to see my friends and that he could trust them. I hope he’s not hiding. “So does he disguise himself as a tree?” I looked back at Grady and raised an eyebrow, “no, he just hasn’t shown himself yet. MULLEN!!! MULLEN!!!” “Mullen is an odd name.” Lauren pinched him, “it’s Irish Gaelic for warrior.” She retorted. I stopped when I smelled it, the coppery flowery smell of him, over time he gained more musk but he was still unmistakable. It was getting stronger, I looked back at the distracted couple and stared for a few seconds at their banter, the air shifted and I felt a presence behind me. “Do couples always have to banter like that?” I chuckled, “we do too Mullen.” Lauren stopped mid sentence and whipped around to see Mullen, her jaw dropped and she stared very obviously at him. Grady studied his frame and wardrobe, “you were right about the crazy coat.” Lauren snapped out of her trance and pinched him again. “It’s nice to meet you Grady and Lauren, Hannah has spoken endlessly about you.” Lauren stepped up to Mullen and shook his hand and offered and kind smile, “I’m glad to finally meet you, you don’t look like a murderer at all.” She said pointedly at Grady. Grady rolled his eyes and weakly shook Mullen’s hand. “You must have questions and concerns?” “Do you change into some beast?” Grady said suddenly, Mullen winced at the word beast. He had never enjoyed other people calling him and beast although he called himself one often. “Yes I do, would you like to see?” Grady nodded hesitating slightly, Mullen smirked and turned around before erupting into a cloud of smoke and golden glitters, his eagle feather necklace floating up before popping into a cloud of feathers that took shape into two wings before flapping powerful gusts of air that knocked us off our feet, plowing away the smoke. A lion approached, his eyes still the same but his body changed. Grady exhaled and stood. “Jesus you were right Hannah.” The lion tilted his head and then turned to me and offered his mane for affection, I gladly gave him what he craved before grabbing my friends hands and letting them touch the mane. “We have so many questions, please change back and explain everything.” Lauren said almost in a begging tone. Mullen shifted quickly back into his man form and adjusted the feather on his neck and motioning us to sit on some logs and rocks. He guided me to sit on the same rock as him leaned against a tree and wrapped his arm around me protectively. “Well first, I’m a protection god. In the land of old there were 4 different classes of gods: the elites which ruled and shaped the land with their mighty powers, the mages which much like the elites kept a ruler ship on the land but on much more specific subjects, the protectors which is where I fall we fought all forms of monsters, killers, and evil, we were highly respected but often were left out due to our common lack of powers; and finally the halflings these were caused by the elites abusing their powers on humans and taking part in.....humanly pleasures. They were powerful enough to take down an elite as they had the will and emotion of a human but the strength and power of a god. Many halflings took down their parents, but in the social system they still were considered lesser than, later on however the world changed and more cultures were created, our godly kingdom expanded and we soon found more gods out there. A war broke out 5,000 years ago and 80% of the gods were killed. We only had four elites left. Huron, the god of weather, Iransha, the goddess of light, arayma, the goddess of the sea, and Qion, the god of darkness and the dead. Most mages were dead but the few who remained were the mages of war, wisdom, the arts, and fauna. Us protection gods soon became quite popular for protection of the mages as only 20 remained, Huron soon forbade gods to mate with humans as halflings caused the Great War that killed so many brothers and sisters. But soon, Qion grew bitter over Hurons rule, Huron was a wise ruler but was still boisterous and arrogant. He hid away monsters and let humans fight amongst themselves and even forget the gods existence, the mages no longer did their work and protection gods became greedy of temples and treasures. Qion was bitter, he knew protection gods were powerful enough to take down an elite. We protectors did not know that however. He began to kill us off slowly then gained speed after accidentally killing a mage. Once most of us were dead and the rest in hiding. He killed the mages, then the two elite goddesses, he battled Huron for 100 years until.....” Mullen choked on his words slightly. “I froze them in stone......I didn’t know I possessed the power to do it, but, I blasted them with something I honestly cannot remember. They froze and stayed in stone. Qions plans for the world were to turn the underworld into its own god system with monsters ruling the people and to return people to what he believed was the rightful state, slavery.” He lowered his head, I felt his arm go tense over my shoulder, “they unfroze recently and I had to flee, three mages are still alive. They helped trap Huron in a cage in the underworld, Qion will be looking for me. His monsters will find me eventually. I attached my soul to Hannah’s. Now my only purpose is to care for Hannah in any way she sees fit.” He looked up at us, he had tears in his eyes. Lauren covered her mouth slightly trying to hold back tears. “You’re going to protect her to the bitter end aren’t you?” He nodded and began to rub his thumb reassuringly into my shoulder. “So, can humans kill a god?” Grady said. Mullen chuckled, “I’ve seen it before, takes a special type of metal, and weapon with holy runes. You can’t put the runes on their without a ceremony though” Grady nodded, “you know the ceremony?” “Yes I do, but you’re not going to be able to kill Qion, or the mages, maybe a monster or two but I know if you two start fighting Hannah will want to join and I cannot allow that.” I sagged slightly, feeling defeated that he would not allow any adventure. He must have noticed my sadness and piped up. “I can however offer you three something better than fighting.” We leaned in to hear his answer, “flight.” I smiled, this would be the first time I rode him while he was a lion, Lauren got up excitedly and Grady followed hesitating. “So were gonna let you fly us around?” Mullen nodded before shifting into his beast form, he lowered himself for me and let the trio of us hop on. He began to trot and pick up speed until we were air born. I could hear Grady screaming in the back and Lauren whooping. The ride was exhilarating, looking down we saw the fiery colors of Tennessee autumn lining the forests and roads converging like river veins or roots in a plant. The sky was a blue with pink hue and the clouds smelled of crisp air and water. He flew higher until we collided with clouds and felt the cool comfort of heavens mattresses. The ride was short, the smell of rotting flesh invaded my sinuses and tainted the crisp smells. I looked over and gasped, flying beside us, was a dead bird. A raven, with rotting meat adorning its pale and dried bones, red eyes glowing, piercing into my soul. Mullen noticed it and growled while leaning us away from the raven. The raven stuttered and shook before turning and following us, “zombie bird is following us!” Grady yelled. Mullen picked up speed and roared, the raven shook and spurred away seeming scared by the deafening roar of Mullen. We landed shortly after and Mullen shifted into man, frustrated he paced the forest floor before stopping and looking at us. “You all need to go home now, it was stupid of me to expose you like that. That was a scout, Lauren and Grady, go home. I promise no danger to you if you leave as soon as possible. Try not to go into any forests for a while and if anything happens please call Hannah. Hannah, I am taking you home and keeping watch on you.” He stared me down with authority before we all headed to our vehicles. The ride home was tense, looking over to Mullen every few minutes, I could sense his anger. His jaw tensions obvious underneath his beard. My hands began to quiver slightly. He must have noticed as the wheel of the car shifted from my shaking. He put his hand slowly over the wheel to steady my hands. “Hannah, let me drive.” I shook my head and continued on the road, already a few minutes from home. “I’m concerned.” I looked at him and breathed a sigh. “I know you are.” I pulled into my drive way and went inside without sparing him another glance. My mom was sat where she usually was just writing away in her notebook. I said a quick hello and made up a story about hiking with Lauren and Grady and then made my way to my room to distract myself with homework.