#poor tiny crusty peepee

[awkwardcorner]

The vet said my cat has a really small penis 😔

[kickassgrandma911]

I Have Been Collecting...

So, I’ve been collecting quotes from all my friends for almost a year now, under this post is a list of way too many quotes. Enjoy you beautiful boys

"I'm cold, I'm wet, BUT I HAVE A LEMON!" "Snuff on these kinkboy" "This motherfucker has a white house!" "Condom Fighters." "I wake up, I hit my head, and then I die" "Uhm... Aargh?" "I guess I'd get kicked" "Spooky cave whack time" "Hi, sex please?" "They bit that poor dolphin right on the dick" "They're even cute when they're humping each other" "Oh, 'I'M SORRY GOD. YOU KNOW ME.' " "Cindy Lou Who is thicc" "My pot stickers attacked me" "Don't talk while your mouth is open" "I've always wanted a restraining order" "Please think before you speak" "Wait, I need to get the walnuts" "I always touch it" "yeah dude other than the fact that they kill your grandpa and take all the wonderbread from your house and leave you with like 3 toasters but no bread" "Okay we need to talk about who put the jellyfish in my bed" "You can call the cops, just don't tell your mom" "OOHOOHOHO YEAH I KNOW HOW TO SKIP!" "Wigger." "Stop fingering my pizza" "Let's go sell my pants and learn how to pick flowers." "I love war!" "I don't endorse suicide but she should consider it." "Ah no! He has his pants back on." "Peepee battleboys" "So today I lit two flies on fire and then pissed on them." "Cereal only tastes good if you're stealing it from Matthew's house." "Just pee on the damn insects" "Alright, I need to kill the gnomes" "I'm so ethnic. I'm eating a crepe" "It smells like wind" "There's a movie called bagel.. Batman?" "Yeah! I love bein' grumpy." -stealing all the napkins at a DQ- "These are free right?" "When it rains crusty nut" "There was pain" "Fuck it I hate money anyway." "Remember the time Ben Old Yellered Timmy?" "Ben you're the most homosexual straight man I've ever met." "You either hang yourself or you don't." "Grant did you just get door dash at 2AM?" "What kind of bitch uses one swipe of chapstick!?" "I need my human!" "PUT EM IN! PUT EM IN HER MOUTH!!!" "I love coffee and I wanna kill myself" "Dog! Fake dog. that is a horse..." "That is a very sad penis..." "These strawberries make me hard" "OOOAAAOOHH! ..... She licked me with her warm moist tongue" "Its not alcohol.... so I don't want any" "Okay that's enough 'Fuck's' out of you" "If a white person whips it's called slavery" "Hello! And Oh no, there's a tiddy!" "Michael Cera, standing behind you, denying the holocaust" "Did you just take a SINGLE fucking cinnamon toast crunch!?" "You're a special kind of Thot Rory. You're The Honest Obligated Toucher" "You're doing me a heckin' fright!" "I could do math on her nose" "Hype men are people, not objects." "I'm not hitting on you I just wanna see you shirtless" "I just wanna buy my rocks, leave me alone!!!" "I'm trying but my white blood cells aren't nearly as ripped as yours" "I'm not a fuckboy I just don't wanna be lonely" "HOW DO YOU MAKE THE HOLOCAUST FAMILY FRIENDLY KYLE!?!?" "You can take my life, you can take my liberties, you can take everything I love, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE MY SHOES!!!" "Are you excited about your bread?" "She just wants some dirty rubz" "IT'S THE NEVER ENDING NUT!!!" "Your face aren't in my tiddies" "I was watching my ultrasound, EXCUSE ME!" "YOU PUT A GRAPE IN MY DR PEPPER!?" "I'm sorry but every group needs a vagina." "Then Matthew just busts a nut out of his fucking facial holes!" "It's stuck in my nostrils!!!" "Frog. Man. At. Me." "You can create your own dong when you get home" "Holy shit.. well fuck drugs, I'll just wear these." "Gas leaks are cool" -Taylor 2k17 "Economically, I'm a jew." "SpongeBob Squarecunt" "Sex and a BLT" "Your beard is like a piggu that's been conditioning" "Challenge him to a lumberjackoff" "You can nut while doing your homework" "He ate dirt, ketchup and peanut shells." "I love moist." "Family communal bong" "WHO ATE MY CORN PLANT!?!?" "Stop bustin' my chops!!!" "Y'all mind if I juice?" "Shhh! I'm trying to watch Hacker 3!!!" "I CONTROL THE TREES WITH MY MIND!" "He's a monster! That bow-tied fuck!" "Tupac hologram is the Hatsune Miku of America" "I feel like Kyle has no problems with taking his pants off." "Dude, imagine Jews." "Your WCW doesn't go to soda..."

That was all page 1, now, page 2

"Oh I wouldn't even fight them we'd already be in the bedroom snoggin'" "In the middle of doing it while drunk I said 'prove to me you destroyed the death star'" BROTHER!!!" "Yo, you wanna eat my nuts?" "I come bearing burritos!" "YOU'RE SELLING MY SOUL TO FUCKING COMCAST!?" "Sourdough is the taste of San Francisco" "Why would you want a white, pasty Jesus when you could have a smelly fish one?" "He's gonna be my throne of minorities." "Hey pretty lady, wanna.. share a lunchables sometime?" "IT'S WHEN YOU WANNA FUCK YOUR MOM!!!" "A whopper in disguise." "Anneversary of womb escape" "I feel like Waluigi vapes..." "STOP MAKIN' FUN OF PEOPLE WITH TRAIN TRACKS!!!" "I'm not fat shaming Bigfoot!" "It's not herpes if you don't get tested!" "I can't believe you smoke palm tree..." "Monica Lewinsky succed the soul out of him." "Whoopi Goldbergs autistic stepson." "A fuckin chicken bake from Costco MAAAANNNN" "In the words of William Shakespeare, eat shit faggot" "He making me sticky!!!!!" "AP Satanism." "What..? You guys don't have urges to smack things too..?" "Mr Bengford looks like the kinda guy to eat at the Chum Bucket." "I LOVE THE MUSH!!!" "My elbow is African American" "RORY!!!! I NEED YOUR FACE!!" "... can you open a dick ?" "Dog shit needs no pants" "You need to craft a bunch of iron daggers." "... are you calling Raven thicc..?" "The only one that can touch my boob is my dad." "I need something in my mouth.." "Poke my hole" "Gimme a sec I gotta take a wicked piss." "Just ignore Bens suffering" "I FORGOT I HAD ASTHMA!" "We Are Never Naked Together. Okay???" "I hope god is real so I can go to hell." "Yeah, you were kinda a butthole freshman year" "ShUT THE FUCK UP I'M TALKING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER!" "He has the personality of a saltine cracker." "Bang-la-DESH!" "Did you fuck her hair yet?" "I just put a pussy sign..." "it's hard to climb the tiny peepee..?" "I'm actually watching gay porn for the plot right now." "please don't ruin Kirby.." "don't vape on the fucking pizza!"