#poor socks is having flashbacks in the meantime

[box-of-deino-nuggets]

Oh look! Actual art from me! Incredible! Definitely didn't stay up until 1 am to finish this, what are you talking about?

Okay but in all seriousness, I kept seeing this meme going around and I wanted to do it with my own little guys. I feel like I put too much time and effort into this silly thing, but I like it.

And as for the comic, I'm slowly working my way back into it. I apologize for leaving it on hold for so long. Brain can't stay focused on something longer than a week it seems. But I'm trying, and that's what matters!

[beerecordings]

I got ‘evade’, maybe something with JJ or shneep? (congrats on the milestone btw!!)

Thanks a bunch! Here you are. I was really happy with this one.

It’s been days since he’s slept.

To be fair, he’s been productive. Hisdesk is crammed with forms and paperwork, filled out and neatlyorganized. He’s caught up with his BSL class and he added extra hourswith the hotline he volunteers for, helping to save lives even in hisoff-hours. He’s gone running every day for a week, he’s cooked, he’scleaned, and he’s even relaxed, watching movies with Jackie andhelping Chase with video bits and the kids.

He doesn’t need to sleep. He’s fine.He’s great, actually. Back off, okay?

“Oh, scheisse,” he mumbles,letting his head drop into his hands. Maybe he is a little tired.

Tea, hedecides, rising from his desk. I’ll make some tea, check onJackie, and – well. And find something else to do, too. A book orsomething. I think I can stay up one more night.

Hedoesn’t want to sleep.

Hisshaky feet take him to the kitchen and his shaky hands put the kettleon. He snacks on crackers with cheese and empties the dishwasherbefore his tea is finished and he can have a drink in peace. It’scaffeinated and cinnamon-flavored and it burns his tongue. He’s good.He’s fine.

Hefinds Jackie already asleep, which he supposes he should be gratefulfor. Some part of him wishes his brother would get up and waste someof his never-ending energy on keeping him awake, but Jackie is buriedin his covers, his hair hung low over his scarred eyes and his bodyloose with the newest painkillers he’s taking. It’s good news, and helooks far too peaceful for Henrik to wake him up, even in the middleof a crisis.

Acrisis. It’s not a crisis. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes.

Hegoes back to his room.

It’sdark even with the lamp on. His clothes make black shapes in thecorner and the wind whistles around his window. He wishes this wouldend. He wishes he was living any life other than this one. His eyesache and his brain aches worse. He puts his head down and sighs.

“Poordoctor…”

Hisheart gasps and shakes like a quivering timpani, and he’s awake, he’sstanding, he’s up against the wall, wishing with everything insidehis being that he didn’t just hear what he thought he heard. I’msafe I’m safe I’m safe.

“Safe,”hisses his voice, echoing from the walls. “You think you’re eversafe from me…”

“Oh,mein Gott,” he prays. “Mein Gott, mein Gott, mein Gott.”

Heknows his voice and he’d know it anywhere. Even in a chorus of voicesthat all sound like Jack’s, he could pick Anti’s out, like one dropof poison filtered from a glassful of wine.

Colorsglitch and darken at the corner of his vision and his head fills upwith a sharp and pounding pain. He wants to cry out for Jackie, buthis mouth can’t form the words, so he stands, and stares, and fears,as Anti takes shape before him.

Hishair is wet with blood and his throat is weeping. His black eyes makeHenrik’s burn and the doctor cowers back from the sight of the long,thin knife grasped in his hand.

“Youthought you could evade me, modeartháir?”Anti croons, moving forward like a dog with a rat in its sights.“Thought that if you kept your eyes open, I wouldn’t be able toreach out my hands and hold you by the throat? Stupid puppet. Look atyour white face. So scared, Schneeplestein?”

“Leaveme alone,” Henrik whispers, shoving his back against the wall, hishands scrambling at nothing. “How did you get in here?”

“Oh,doctor, you’ve never been safe or hidden here. I’ve just been waitingfor the right moment to strike. I had to get past your little herofirst, of course. And Chase, with his scrabbling hands and hisscreaming throat.”

Schneep’sheart cries fear. “No,” he says. “You’re just a liar.”

Antihisses and shows his teeth, letting blood and a smile show together.“Little fool,” he snarls, glitching like a simulation that’sfalling apart. “I am here now.”

Jamesonopens the door.

“What’swrong?” ask his innocent hands. He’s wearing a sleep shirt that’stoo big on him and his hair is sticking up. “Crying?”

Panting,Henrik stares between him and Anti, who doesn’t react.

“Youlook scared,” says Jamie, stepping forward.

“Getback!” Henrik shouts. “What the hell are you doing, Jameson?Can’t you see him?”

Fromthe way his eyes widen, Henrik knows that he can’t. The doctor looksto Anti again, and there is no longer anything cold and electricstanding over him.

“MeinGott,” he breathes, overwhelmed.

Jameson’sgone too, but unlike Anti, he leaves a swinging door behind him.

Henriksinks to the ground and tries to breathe. How long has it been sincehe slept? He’s crying and his whole body shakes like a kitten leftout in the snow too long. Oh, he scared Jameson – scheisse, he’ssorry, and he rises to his feet as soon as he can, and pads into thehall after his brother.

Jameson’sdoor is open, but for a second, Henrik thinks there’s no one insidehis room. Stepping a little closer, he notices the light in thecorner of the room, buried under a couple layers of blankets.

Hesighs and crouches down outside the blanket fort. Jamie’s socked feetstick out from the doorway.

“Hey,”Schneep whispers. “I didn’t mean to yell. I’m sorry. Can I comein?”

Jamie’shand reaches out to pull a blanket back, showing his pale face andhis long wet eyelashes. His mouth is trembling pitifully, but he nodswith a little frown and lets his brother in.

Schneepsits awkwardly against the armada of pillows against his back, butJamie’s never more comfortable than when he’s in his blanket fort. It’sbig and tall enough for three people and there’s even little starlights hung under the ceiling. Chase was the one who helped him makeit, and they use it often, for movie nights and switch games andpanic attacks.

“I’msorry for upsetting you,” says Schneep one more time. “Really,Jamie, I did not mean it.”

Jamiewon’t look at him. His eyes are turned away and his chin is tiltedup.

Schneepclutches his hands together. “I was scared,” he admits.

Jamesonpauses, frowns, and turns to look at him.

“Ithought I saw Anti,” he says. “I think it was a hallucination ora flashback… I thought you were in danger.”

Jameson’snever been one to hold grudges, and now he melts like chocolate inthe sun. He makes a little sighing noise that Schneep thinks meanscomfort and curls up at his brother’s side, setting his head on hisshoulder and staring up at him with big blue eyes.

Schneepsnorts and rolls his eyes. “Chase is making you so soft,” hecomplains half-heartedly, reaching out to hug his brother around thewaist.

“I’msorry you were scared,” says Jameson. “I’ve known Anti’s - ”Schneep doesn’t recognize the word - “too.”

“Hiswhat?” he asks.

Jamesonpauses, wringing his scarred hands together.

“Darkness,”he spells finally.

Schneepbrushes a strand of hair back from his eyes, frowning. “Yeah,” hemurmurs. “I know you have, kleiner bruder.”

“Ihad a bad dream. That’s why I was looking for you. I’ve been havingbad dreams for days. And you have too, right, Schneep?”

“Yeah.Yes.”

“Youdidn’t tell anyone?”

“No.And I – I should have. Ja. I get what you’re getting at, okay? Yes.I should have told you. Should have told all of you.”

“Wewould have made you sleep,” says JJ. “And we would have beenthere when you woke up frightened. That’s the point.”

“Isit? The point of what?”

Jamieshrugs and smiles soft.

“Family,”he says.

It’swarm in JJ’s room, and the wind does not whistle. There is nodarkness at all beneath the sparkling gold fairy lights wrappedaround Jamie’s fort, and his head lies soft and heavy againstHenrik’s shoulder. For a long time, they sit together, safe.

“Ilove you,” mumbles Henrik eventually, hugging him tight.

Jamie’salready asleep on his chest. Henrik laughs, sighs, and finally,finally, closes his exhausted eyes. What comes will come, and he andhis family will meet it together, not alone. In the meantime, thereis no point in trying to evade sleep.