#polyglot communities can be ruthless

[hopeful-to-learn]

Language Learning as of 4/2/2024

I just picked up language learning again and i wanted to make a place to document it. I've been learning several languages on and off since 2016. The only ones I'm still learning are Spanish and Japanese. I am currently eyeing Mandarin Chinese and Korean as well but I'm trying to avoid overloading my brain, two is already a lot.

This blog is for me to update on my language learning and maybe other learning subjects as well. I'll try to update regularly (hoping for daily but no promises) on what I've been studying and how it's going. However, be warned if you care about seeing efficiency in learning I don't focus on that. I learn these things as a hobby and often what is efficient isn't fun. So even though i know learning multiple languages at a time isn't efficient, I do find it fun.

Today I was getting back into things so I logged back into Duolingo and did a couple Spanish lessons and watched a simple Spanish children's story on YouTube to see how well I could follow it (i got 5 minutes in). For Japanese I tried a few new apps to see if I liked any, watched a video on all the Hiragana halfway, and reviewed the Hiragana I learned a few times (hours between) using both flashcards and an online quiz.

Tomorrow I hope to review more Spanish and make a better plan for it. I've studied Spanish the longest and feel I haven't gotten anywhere so I'm looking to step it up. For Japanese I'll watch the other half of the hiragana video and review more.

My biggest goal in Japanese is to learn Hiragana, I've been stuck on it for a while, for Spanish it's to start reading more children's stories/early reader books and to expand my vocabulary.

I'm also listening to a lot of beginner and "what i wish i knew before starting" videos on Korean and Mandarin to see how interested I am in them and sort of prime my brain without actually starting yet.

[nocturnalblue]

On Language Learning and Marketable Skills

I'm trying to get my thoughts sorted out regarding marketable skills and promotion, namely why I'm so resistant to use a very marketable skill I've developed over the past few years to make my case for a major promotion.

A few years ago, when I was in a low place personally and professionally, I decided to learn to speak a second language.  I started with the basic apps, like Duolingo and Memrise, and became quite good at saying how penguins eat holy potatoes in bathtubs in my target language.  Eventually, I made my way into the polyglot-blogosphere (is that even a word).  Inspired by what I read on these blogs at the time, I eventually migrated my way over to italki and the world of language exchanges.  

(As a side note, as someone who never got into dating apps before meeting my significant other, I wonder if the filtering mechanisms I apply to selecting language partner solicitations are similar to that of dating apps.  And I wonder how many more solicitations I would receive if I actually had a clear picture of my face on the website.  Although on the bright side, no dick pics.)

I found success with language exchanges - as it turns out I have a tandem partner that I've been conversing with for almost the entire time I've been learning this second language.  I've also managed to make other successful language partner connections on Skype and in person.  Fortunately, I live in a large enough city that there are both North American offices for businesses from my language's home country as well as a decent sized expat community. 

There were plenty of opportunities to engage with both the people and the culture (should I separate the two?) from which my language originates.

After a couple of years, I took the plunge and started paying for lessons on italki.  And recently I took an official language exam and am now certified at the B2 level.  I did not ace the exam by a long shot, but I comfortably passed.

I didn't make a secret of my attempts to learn this second language at my job, but I also didn't broadcast it.  For years, I treated it as a hobby, like marathon running or woodworking.  Something cool for me to do, but not something I needed to waste my coworkers' time discussing if we had other pressing deadlines.

That brings me to today, where I'm angling for a promotion (or at least a raise) in my current job.  I have supervisors advocating for me and have done enough good work for them that they're willing to speak for me.  My language skill, while not essential for my job, would definitely look good on the resume and perhaps help my company secure additional business.  Moreover, I recently found out that one of the decision-makers for my promotion/raise is also fluent in the language I've spent the past few years learning.  Perfect, right?  I should tell them what my skill set is honestly, even offer a copy of the test results if requested.  Maybe my skills are not yet where they need to be to fully use the language in a professional capacity, but I'm getting close.  Nevertheless, it would be impressive to the powers that be.

So why am I resisting do this with every fiber of my being?  

Seriously, I can come up with logical reasons.  My skills, while good, are not good enough yet to be professionally significant.  There are other factors that affect whether I get this promotion that will more than cancel out or overwhelm my language skills. My score on the exam was not that impressive. Would my supervisors be upset that I devoted so much time to this skill that does not have as much direct bearing on my job as other skills would?  I don't want to waste anyone's time.  But each of these reasons feels hollow to me.  It really would cost me nothing to tell my supervisor, "oh by the way, the official body that certifies language skills has certified me as an upper intermediate."  If it won't help me, then that's the end of it. If it does, then I have one more thing in my arsenal to get this promotion.  One more marketable skill.

Marketable skill?  Not "hobby."  Not even just "skill."  A "marketable skill."  This odyssey I took to become fluent (I'm calling myself fluent here even though I still make mistakes when I speak and can stand to expand my vocabulary) in a language that is often on those Business Insider or Forbes lists of "most valuable languages to know" makes me more "marketable."  Suddenly, learning this language was not about meeting new people, engaging with a new culture, and finding a sense of personal fulfillment outside of my career.  No, if I tell my supervisors about this "marketable skill," my language quest feels-cheapened, somehow?  More mercenary?  

I'd like to think that if I was just looking to add a line to a resume, like a Six Sigma black belt, that I would not have spent so many years on the project.  I'd like to think that if I wanted to use this language for professional development, I would focus my time learning the vocabulary associated with my job and less time reading an historical novel in my target language concerning intrigue in 15th century central Europe.  Not to say I'm not learning some of my job specific words, but that is not where the bulk of my attention is.

(As an aside, I realize that I’m speaking from a place of privilege that I had the time and resources to develop this skill, and that even if I do not get this promotion/raise, financially I’ll be ok.)

I think about meetings we have at my company concerning business development, where advice is often "find common interests and send potential clients communications that lets them know they're on your mind."  In other contexts, it almost sounds like how to make friends.  Except we're not talking about anything as pointless as making "friends."  Why settle for a friend when you can get a CLIENT?  That's the real "Friend Zone" - people whose company you enjoy and can talk to about anything, but won't put out (their business that is).  

I suppose that is a reality in our economy, but it still feels off somehow.

I also think about this article about how to teach your children a language you don't speak.  The categories I see are a) consider a non-English speaking caretaker, b) go to the library, c) play videos and music (such as "the Itsy-Bitsy Spider" in Spanish), or the catchall d) do what you can i.e. the self-care self-forgiveness option.  Nowhere does it say something like "encourage you children to seek friendships with people who speak another language" or "you yourself make friends with someone who speaks another language." That may not work for everyone but let's face it, if you live in the United States, there's a very good chance you can find someone who can speak at least Spanish, a language that is always on those "most valuable language to learn" lists (as well as easiest languages for an English speaker to learn so hey, two for one).

When I first read that article, I was bothered by it for reasons I couldn’t articulate at the time.  The non-English speaking caretaker?  I know people in my (very upper middle class) industry who hire non-English speaking caretakers to teach their children second languages.  Leaving aside how this is only an opportunity available to people of certain means, this also feels somewhat mercenary.  It's like, I'm making use of your language skills, but if I weren't paying you to help make my child more appealing to Ivy League schools in 20 years, I would have nothing to do with you.  Spanish language "Itsy-Bitsy Spider?"  Why not teach your child a song that's traditional to the country of origin for that language?  Or are you ok with your child essentially becoming a "fluent fool?" I mean, who needs the culture attached to the language?

But even the "fluent fool" risk is not the problem.  The word I come back to over and over again, is “mercenary.”  It's this sense that you're engaging in hobbies, learning skills, trying to impart skills on children, not for personal edification or to form real relationships, but to close transactions or otherwise be more "marketable."  My original motivation for learning a new language was a kind of therapy, I way to keep myself sane when my life was especially difficult. Over time, I really began to fall for the language and the people who speak it natively.  The many stereotypes of the personality from this culture is appealing to me.  And most importantly, I feel like I'm forming a connection to other people without calculating what's in it for me.

There's still time for me to tell my supervisor about my language skill before the promotion deliberations are done.  I may do it or may not.  Either way I'm sure I can justify it.  But whether I can justify telling or not telling people about my language skill is beside the point.  What I need to understand, and make peace with, is how to live in a world that pushes us to treat our relationships and interests as a way better position ourselves in a ruthless world, rather than as means of connecting to it.

[radioactiveshitstorm]

@greenzaku and i had a conversation about the ex-monolith trio’s pasts, as in what they were like as stalkers before the Monolith started dicking around in their brains

Foster was known as “Newton” (as in Isaac Newton, gravity, physics, Foster has a PhD in that & he’s a massive nerd) and was basically your friendly neighbourhood Science Dad, always willing to help people out, and spending a lot of time working with the Ecologists, and maybe Clear Sky at some point?? (Also there was an idea where maybe he and Hyena had a Thing, since Hyena used to do jobs for the Ecologists, meaning maybe they bumped into each-other at some stage and things got M-rated real fuckin’ quick)

Klaxon was a ruthless little edgelord with a mile-wide mean streak, known as “Splinter”; much like a splinter, he was small and can either cause a lot of pain or just be a fucking annoyance. Plus he had a habit of turning up wherever you really didn’t want him to be. Possibly worked for Duty at some stage.

And Pogo was known as “Polyglot” because that’s what he is; just a regular Loner trying to get by in the world, but quite often hired as a translator by groups of stalkers having trouble communicating with their travelling partners. Still a friendly guy, but a little more nervous and jumpy