#poly dark purveyors
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Is it alright if you could write about Poly dark purveyors when their s/o is sick/dismembered?
THIS TOOK ME SO LONG AAAAAAA HOPE YOU LIKE ITTTT
Note: Reader is G/N and is a rock opera purveyor with their weapon being a violin scythe.
🎶 You were a rock opera purveyor (a representation of Swan’s resentment towards everything). You fought with the other purveyors and made it harder for Juliet to stop Swan’s plans. It was a tag team effort in both stalling her and trying to take her down.
🎶 After Defeating Lewis Legend, Juliet— now face-to-face with you was ready to stop Swan’s plan. On one hand— you didn’t want to hurt her too bad, but on the other, she killed your dear friends. Juliet had to suffer for that. You readied your violin weapon with Juliet prepared to take down the very last purveyor — You.
🎶 After dodging the swings of your scythe, Juliet saw an opening and struck your shoulder blade with her chainsaw. That male head on her hip shouted in surprise as your now detached arm launched at Juliet and began to scratch at her.
🎶 You gave her a twisted smile and you held onto your scythe with a hard grip. The detached head on Juliet’s hip made a comment about how she had to avoid the severed moving limb along with your scythe attacks. Juliet chimed in; saying how gross it was with how it moved.
🎶 You tried to get another strong swing at her but she quickly dodged it and went for your remaining shoulder blade, cutting it clean off and dropping your scythe.
🎶This in response made you scream in anger at the cheerleader, not only for the loss of your buddies, but also your arms.
🎶You yelled and cursed at her with all your might as your arms began attacking Juliet. You felt your arms grow back as you went and snatched your scythe up.
🎶You stated to the cheerleader that you would finish her off and complete the ritual to summon Killabilly. The smile you gave her was wide and bearing sharp teeth, as you got into your fighting stance.
🎶 Juliet had dodged your strongest scythe attack once more as she summersaulted in the air and pierced her chainsaw through your torso and moving it upwards. Your upper body was cut in halve.
🎶 You gave her a cold remark on how she had succeeded in completing the ritual, now that you had fulfilled your role in it. You fell to your knees as large amounts of blood pooled from below your opened wound. You let out a mocking giggle as Juliet ran towards you with a grimace and swung her weapon down hard on you.
🎶 You woke up back in Rotten World after Juliet had taken you out. It was infuriating how you have to see your darlings also get taken out by that girl with her talking head buddy.
🎶You looked to see Killabilly back on his throne, looking worse for wear. ‘The King of zombies… failed?’ You thought to yourself in disbelief as you looked around for you and your friend’s hideout. You haven’t noticed that your body was still in pieces thanks to Juliet.
🎶You huffed in annoyance and you manoeuvred one of your limbs near your severed head so you could rest on it.
🎶 After a few minutes of taking a nap, you felt someone pick your head up, this caused your eyes to shoot open as you looked at the person holding your severed head; it was Zed, one of your darlings.
🎶 He held you by the sides of your head and let out a slightly drawn-out ‘fuck me’ in a hushed tone as he inspected your other body parts. The others looked at your dismembered body in both shock and slight concern. Juliet gave you the worst out of the others.
🎶 “Dang babe,—“ Josey picked your left arm up, “That cheerleader girl messed you up real good.” He looked over the arm, seeing if it was damaged. Luckily it wasn’t, but still.
🎶 “Aye, y’ got closer than any of us to beating that bitch, that’s f’ sure!” Vikkie boasted with a small chuckle he grabbed your torso
🎶 “It’s not every day that some dude gets to be the last to summon the big guy, man.” Mariska pointed out as she pulled out a needle and thread.
🎶 Lewis had to put your body parts in the right places, giving you a slight glance before looking at Mariska. “Gotta hand it to ‘em; Sunshine over here put up a good fight.” Their compliments at least made you feel happy wile the zombie hippie stitched your limbs back together.
🎶 Once you got your body back together, you immediately thanked them for their effort and kindness. It’s not the first time you had to be stitched back together.
🎶 Vikkie went up to you and gave you a bear hug,
“My little ástvinur is all good now!” He let out a hearty laugh, giving you a kiss on the cheek for good measure.
🎶 Letting you go, you went to the others and gave them a warm smile and held you arms out to the others, lightly blushing.
“I’m so glad to have such lovers like you.”
🎶 Zed chuckled, rubbing the back of his head,
“C’mon bud, don’t get all soft on us now, you’re gonna make my heart start beating.”
🎶 You giggled at the punk zombies statement, giving him a light peck on the cheek.
#lollipop chainsaw josey#lollipop chainsaw dark purveyor#lollipop chainsaw vikke#lollipop chainsaw zed#lollipop chainsaw#lollipop chainsaw lewis legend#dark purveyors#x reader#fluff#gn reader#lollipop chainsaw dark purveyors#dark purveyors x reader#lollipop chainsaw x reader#poly x reader#poly relationship#poly dark purveyors
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Headcanons for Bond or/and Herder please!
Bond (I definitely think I've said some of these before but I can't find where lol)
Becomes besties with Billy because they're both fake-dead American outlaws (Bond also enjoys teasing Sherliam)
Did actually have a teeensy thing for Sherlock when they first met, but now looks back on it the way you do a cringy teenage crush, even though it's only been three years.
Wrangles the gang into doing little skits and improv sketches during holiday gatherings and whatnot. William is delighted by how this tradition has flourished in his absence. Mycroft has been known to deliver some really good Shakespearean monologues, and the first time Sherlock watches William watch one, he almost has a jealous fit.
Is maybe pan and poly? Idk, I just see him as the kind of person who is so affectionate and warm and it sometimes turns into sex but it never gets awkward or complicated, it's just another way of expressing affection with friends. I sometimes think he's gone and polyculed half the gang and also Miss Hudson.
This one counts for both Bond and Herder:
Herder is the cheerful purveyor of all sorts of ahead-of-its-time gender-affirming gear. He's finagled a binder that's magically wearable and comfortable all day every day and is doing incredible work considering what it has to keep in check. He's designed strapons and packers and so on and so forth. He finds it a fun side hobby, and Bond has connected him to several other trans folks who he has also helped.
Other Herder ones:
Has a really dark backstory. I don't really have any guesses as to what exactly it might be, but it's bad.
Secretly trying to build a time machine.
Believes in aliens and cryptids.
Once performed a jewel heist all on his own just for the sake of having done it.
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How about the dark purveyors (poly) with a goth zombie s/o who wants to be a dark purveyor like them?
So you want angst uh?
Alright then.
What if you wanted to become a Dark Purveyor?
◼ At first you weren't expecting to die during the events of Juliet's birthday. Not that early at least.
◼ And surely you weren't expecting to become a zombie, just like your partners. Oh well.
◼ But know that you weren't human anymore , you could finally achieve what you wanted the most: become a Dark Purveyor just like them.
◼ Let's just say that they weren't that happy about it.
◼ Zed's probably thought you were joking. But after you weren't laughing too, he knew you were deadly serious.
◼ "Wait a fucking minute. You aren't joking?"
◼ "No...I'm serious"
◼ He was flabbergasted. You wanted to join them? And repeat horrible deaths every time some fucking weirdo planned word domination? Oh hell not.
◼ Vikke wasn't happy either.
◼ "No"
◼ "Wait-"
◼ "Absolutely not Y/N."
◼ Mariska knew even before you told her.
◼ "I don't think it's a good idea."
◼ "It's because of the music genre? I could represent goth music"
◼ "It's not that. You wouldn't enjoy it."
◼ Josey wasn't sure about what to say.
◼ "Are you sure about it? It's not an easy work."
◼ "Of course. I'm 100% sure about it."
◼ "Then go ask Lewis. I'm sure he would know what to do"
◼ And Lewis knew it indeed.
◼ "There's no turning back. Just wanted to remind you dear."
◼ "I know. And I can't wait"
◼ "Alright then. Guess we have a new member."
◼ You just loved them too much to let them go. You wouldn't miss any opportunity for them.
#dark purveyors#dark purveyors x reader#ask box#lollipop chainsaw zed#lollipop chainsaw vikke#lollipop chainsaw mariska#lollipop chainsaw josey#lollipop chainsaw lewis legend
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i think i just saw 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄 (he/his, cismale)! don’t you know them? they’re a 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 character from 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐑 / 𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐎��𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖. have you heard that they 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 from their previous life? apparently they appeared here in 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 just after 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 / 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑. crazy, isn’t it? now they're 𝟑𝟕 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐋𝐃 and working as 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐓. still, they do have that 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄, 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋-𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 vibe about them. (matt ryan. rex, they/them, 23, gmt+11)
“ JOHN CONSTANTINE is a virus masquerading as a man. he parasitizes where others befriend. he has woven a tapestry of fascination and entertainment around a core so profoundly hungry it cannot help but annihilate those who stray into its’ orbit. he wears a camouflage of decency and a mask of redemption to hide the guilt. but he can’t fool himself. he knows what he is. he hates what he is. the tragedy is that he continues to be it. “
CANON: a mix-and-match of hellblazer comics / justice league dark movies / tv verse, assuming the last thing he did was season 4 of legends of tomorrow, with the whole debacle of time travel and sending his boyfriend desmond to hell
A PRIMER for those who don’t know the character
john constantine: working class warlock, occult detective, purveyor of the dark arts, former punk band frontman, liverpool native and con man
he has a reputation as being one of the most powerful sorcerers in the world, but very little of that is his own magic. in a fight of raw strength (or even a fist fight), he’d likely lose -- his talent lies in tricks and cunning, manipulation and pissing his enemies off, hoarding of powerful relics and the ability to give absolutely no fucks about how sacred or special magic is in favor of bullying it until it does what he wants
essentially he just uses the nastiest, filthiest magic that most people don’t want to go anywhere near, makes frequent deals with demons, and has traded his own soul so much that it’s like the equivalent of a rusty town bike
he’s bisexual, poly, and hooks up with anything and everything from humans and demons to monsters and mutant shark men
pretty much all his friends and partners die, and it’s usually john’s fault
has demon blood in him, but it doesn’t do much other than link him to the demon that provided it and taint his soul
has a magic house slash storeroom of relics called the house of mystery. john claims he won the keys in a poker game. it is constantly shifting, constantly changing -- you never enter a room the same way twice, it can travel between dimensions, is sentient, and houses all sorts of monsters and nightmares
IN SALLOW HILLS he will be:
working as a bartender in the white rabbit. not because he actually needs money, and he’ll probably do like one shift a week just to steal booze, but he’s got to do something to get out of the house, right?
the house of mystery will be stuck in this dimension, and its sentience mysteriously powered down. still full of magic and monsters, though
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(I’ll Follow You) Into the Dark
Chapter 8
Lexa wandered into Ten Forward and sank wearily onto a stool at the counter. It would have been a grueling day even without her frayed emotions threatening to unravel at every turn. In some ways, though, the urgent demands of her work had been a blessing. It forced her to concentrate on the task before her instead of giving vent to the howl of anguish that clawed silently at her throat every time she thought of Clarke. But now that she had a free moment to herself, all of the sorrow and guilt came roaring back, so thick it seemed to choke her.
One of the counter staff appeared to take her order. Lexa absently told him to bring her the daily special. It didn’t really matter what it was. She had no appetite and the food would just turn to ash in her mouth anyway, but experience or force of habit told her that she’d need energy to keep up a strong front in the hours ahead.
Clarke.
Lexa had hoped to share her dinner break with Clarke, to seize every available moment left to them before the Arkadia embarked on her fateful journey. When her meal time came, though, Clarke was still immersed in responsibilities and being tugged in umpteen different directions. The strain was beginning to show in the pinched furrow of her brow and the downturn of her lips. Lexa knew Clarke couldn’t afford any distractions, so she quietly slipped back to her own vessel and left her to get on with her duties.
Lexa fidgeted moodily with her drink while she waited for her food. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was somehow to blame for the weight of command devolving upon Clarke. After all, she had made the modifications that ultimately overloaded the phaser coil and caused the fateful bridge explosion that had killed Kane and Blake. Except for Lieutenant Commander Reyes, no one was better versed in weapons systems and schematics.
You thought you were so clever, rerouting those phaser relays. You should have known they couldn’t handle the load.
Objectively, she knew it wasn’t true. There was no way to know the coupling would fail; it might have happened even if she hadn’t tinkered with the relays. But the sense of guilt still gnawed at her.
If you hadn’t fired a full spread, maybe it wouldn’t have blown.
You know you had no choice. The ship was under attack.
Better to lose the few than the many.
She could have lived with her actions—had lived with decisions that cost lives before—but for their impact on Clarke. They’d all heard Kane’s plan; she knew that the Arkadia, and Clarke, would have attempted the return regardless, but at least if Kane had lived, the burden of that decision wouldn’t have been on Clarke’s shoulders alone.
A server placed Lexa’s meal in front of her. She dutifully began to push the food around the plate. She’d just forced down a few bites when all at once she felt a cold chill trickle down her spine. She looked up to find Gaia just on the other side of the counter, once again staring at her, unblinking, her dark eyes almost obsidian. The fine hairs on the back of Lexa’s neck prickled at her expression. In that moment, Lexa recalled the surreptitious whispers that had floated amongst some of her Trikru shipmates when Gaia first came aboard the Polis: that she was a soothsayer; a priestess versed in the ancient Trikru traditions; even a purveyor of dark arts. The rumors had faded as quickly as they’d begun, and Lexa had never put stock in them. Until now.
Read the rest on AO3
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Could we get a oneshot of The Dark Purveyors (poly) supporting their nervous s/o at their concert?
Of course you can!
Here's the oneshot :)
As many others know, one of the things that made the Dark Purveyors so similar to eachother was representing a "dead music genre".
And that also helped when a certain human was in need of emotional support that specific day.
Because that day you had to perform in a concert, moments such as that always made you nervous.
But you totally weren't expecting what a certain zombie had in mind.
Yeah, because someone (wonder who) found a way to get way more people than the last time you had an event like a concert.
"Woah. That's a lot of people. But how did them-"
Before you could even start teorizing who out of your five not-so-human partners had that wonderful idea, the culprit appeared in a bunch of red lights.
"Fuck yeah! I knew it was gonna work!"
Just like you thought. Zed.
"Now you tell me why did you even think that was a good idea!"
Noticing you probably didn't appreciate the thing he did by your pissed off face, the punk zombie immediately tried to prove his innoncence. Hoping to not piss you off even more.
"Ow come on Y/N! I just tried to give you some fucking help! I thought you would love gaining more fans!"
"Like she didn't have more already, dumbass"
If things were already getting worse, Lewis and the others appeared out of nowhere, probably after hearing that Zed's idea worked out in the best way possible for him.
"What's the matter dear Y/N? It looks like you have some deep conflict with your emotions"
Oh, there's also Mariska deep words. Luckily they always to work out when you where overwhelmed by them.
"Oh, It's just that I've never performed for that many people out there. I'm nervous about it, that's all."
Vikke almost immediately said what the others also meant to say out loud.
"Don't worry Y/N. We'll be right here if you need us. Us and Yumil too"
Yumil roared in agreement to his owner words.
"Thanks guys. I appreciate your support"
"No worries! We'll be just right next to the stage in case you need us!"
After saying that, Josey had to make sure that was going to happen.
"Right, 'let's get our partner more money and fame'?"
Zed couldn't help but giving one of his devilish grins to that question.
"Oh, for fuck sake! What fo you think I am, an asshole?"
"But you are one already"
"Alright, mister 'I'll get my dirty fucking hands on Y/N first'-"
"Uh guys, I think that i need also an affectionate hug before i go on stage..."
Luckily Vikke, Mariska and Josey thought the same thing.
"Alright y'all let's give our little human a funking hug before they go"
"Yes, I think that would help us letting go of this negative energy"
"Ugh, fine! But that doesn't make me a pussy, okay?!"
"Yes, our spiked up friend, don't need to scream like a little stelpa, okay?"
You couldn't help but laugh at that funny affermation. Well, maybe that many people will not make you feel true happiness.
But those 5 ones definetely could.
#ask box#one shot#dark purveyors x reader#lollipop chainsaw zed#lollipop chainsaw vikke#lollipop chainsaw mariska#lollipop chainsaw josey#lollipop chainsaw lewis legend#ngl i cried a little after this#i love them soo much#<3
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Heya! I saw your post about the dark purveyors, though I gotta ask. Do you do poly?
oh yes. I do poly :)
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Poly Dark Proveyers x Reader Imagine
(Excluding Swam, I might make a seperate one for him in the future)
🎶 They’re all protective over you, firstly.
🎶 All of them take turns with hanging out with you, though it’s usually random depending on the day.
🎶 Either Lewis or Vikke hold your hand the most.
🎶 When Mariska gets to be with you, she’ll offer up flower-picking or going out to a petting zoo.
🎶 Out of all the proveyers, Zed is the most protective of you.
🎶 If you wanted go out with all of them, they’d be happy to do so. But they all have to agree on where though.
🎶 Josey is pretty chill with you, especially when you want to lean up against him. He’s chill about it.
🎶 Vikkie is a giant goofball when he hangs out with you, he’ll show off his drumming skill just to try and impress you.
🎶 When you’re hanging out with Zed, he’ll just have you will him and talk about stuff. He’ll even tease you a bit here and there but in an affectionate way.
🎶 When you’re with Lewis, he’ll have you come ride with him on his motorcycle.
🎶 Group hugs with them can happen if they’re all in the same room with you.
🎶 They can get a tiny bit jealous if you kiss one of the purveyors on the cheek while their in.
🎶 The dark purveyors all sit together if they see that you look a bit lonely on their own.
🎶 The purveyors would all try their best to cheer you up if they feel down (ie. tell some jokes, give some helpful advice, ect.)
🎶 Lewis is the best kisser out of the purveyors.
🎶 Overall, the purveyors all pretty sweet and buddy-buddy with you. They bring love and joy to the groups undead lives.
#lollipop chainsaw#lollipop chainsaw zed#lollipop chainsaw vikke#lollipop chainsaw mariska#lollipop chainsaw josey#lollipop chainsaw lewis legend#lollipop chainsaw x reader#lollipop chainsaw imagines#nobody has done this so imma do it#these dudes need more love#dark purveyors#dark purveyors x reader#lollipop chainsaw dark purveyors#x reader
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