#pokemon dad rater: episode rr

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Name of Dad: Maximillion Pegasus AKA Pegasus J. Crawford Whose Dad: Four adopted sons Pros: He's a skilled businessman and will ultimately keep his word. Sure he kidnapped a bunch of people and sealed their souls into playing cards and tried to take over a corporation and cheated at dueling and dropped a guy into the ocean but like, it was for a good cause and he let the souls go afterwards. He's also an artist! Cons: I was going to bring up the fact that he's a grown man obsessed with cartoons, but then I realized that I'm nearly thirty and running a blog about Pokemon dads. Overall Score: I didn't even know he had adopted kids until now! 2/5, Mr. Pegasus, the least you can do is put up a couple photos of your sons at work.

PS. desu

[pokemon-dad-rater]

Name of Dad: Mr. Ishtar Whose Dad: Marik and Ishizu (biological son and daughter), Odion (adopted son) Pros: he's dead now Cons: Oh boy. Where do I even start. I'm just gonna let the wiki speak for itself. "Mr. Ishtar is the patriarch of the tomb-guardian Ishtar family, the father of Marik Ishtar and Ishizu Ishtar and also the adopted father of Odion, although he refused to admit to be the latter." "To him, the duty of guarding the Millennium Items and the Pharaoh was more important than his wife and children." "He takes the baby Marik from his wife as soon as he's born to declare his son's heritage, leaving his wife to die by Odion's side." "He refuses to let any of his family to leave their underground home for the outside world, for the fear of distracting their duties as guardians." "He forces the ritual on his family, never letting them have a choice." "His love for Ishizu and his wife remained unclear, but was willing to use cruel abuse to punish his children if they broke any of the clan's rules." "On the other hand, he cared little to none for his adoptive son, Odion. He refused to see the boy as his son to any degree, but instead a servant." "He even threatened to kill Odion for any failures on behalf of taking care of Marik, and was not above on killing him for breaking the clan's rules." "When Ishizu was born, he was disappointed for not having a boy." "Mr. Ishtar was furious with Odion's lack of carefulness, and ordered him not to leave Marik's bedside until he was fully cured, threatening him with death for any future failures." "Marik tried to refuse, and Odion offered to take his place, but Mr. Ishtar refused, angrily stating that he was 'just a servant', and threatened to cut off his tongue if he asked again." "It was this point that he revealed that he never once considered Odion as a full-fledged member of the clan, and even refused to accept him as a son." "Mr. Ishtar then proceeded to use the Millennium Rod's concealed knife to carve the Pharaoh's stone tablet symbol onto his son's back, ignoring his protests and cries of pain, which also spawned an alternate personality." "When Odion cut his own face with his own carvings to ease Marik's anger, Mr. Ishtar finds them repulsive, and kept ordering Odion to wear something over his face, and continued to refuse him as a member of the family." "About a year later, Marik convinced Ishizu to go see the outside world, while Odion kept watch from letting their father to find out. Unfortunately, when the siblings departed, they unknowingly triggered a silent alarm, which alerted their father. Mr. Ishtar was beyond furious, and punished Odion by slicing him with heated blades." "When Marik returned, he tried to stop his father from hurting Odion, but the man merely pushed him aside and proceeded to torture Odion to a presumed death."

Overall Score: We've saved the worst for last. This is it, the absolute nadir of YuGiOh dads and everyone ever featured on this blog. You thought Pokemon fathers were mediocre? Ghetsis would look at this guy and go "yikes". That level of shittiness takes real dedication. Dadication. We're talking about a man who cut up his own kid(s) with a knife and literally never let them leave the house. Not only is that horrible, it also caused his son to form a violent split personality who murdered him in retaliation and went on to antagonize the pharaoh he was supposed to serve, so at the end of the day this dad doesn't even accomplish the fuckin job he tortured his entire family for!! -1000000 out of 5

[pokemon-dad-rater]

WELCOME TO YU-GI-OH DAD RATER WHERE WE DISCUSS AND RATE THE VARIOUS FATHER CHARACTERS IN THE YU-GI-OH FRANCHISE! WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YU-GI-OH DAD, WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE YU-GI-OH DAD AND WHY!

Oh fuck, who let all these YuGiOh dads in here? This is Faba’s fault, isn’t it?

Dad fans, welcome to POKEMON DAD RATER: EPISODE RAINBOW ROCKET EXCEPT IT’S YUGIOH DADS.

Pokemon fathers are pretty notoriously terrible, which is why this blog exists, but is it possible that there could be EVEN WORSE dads out there from another dimension?? Who knows!! What we DO know is that YuGiOh has taken over our headquarters and it’s time to D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DAD DUEL!!!

Each of these fathers must be defeated before we can send them all back to the Shadow Realm and return the blog to normal, and to do this we must RATE them over the course of this next week! Seven days, seven dads! In the end we shall see if Pokemon dads are truly the worst, or if there are some others out there who make Giovanni or Ghetsis look like Father of the Year in comparison!

Special thanks to the YuGiOh Wikia for making this event possible. I’ll be quoting it a lot to let the dads speak for themselves because honestly, there are some real gems in the descriptions already. On an added note there are a whopping 107,649 pages on the YuGiOh Wikia, which feels like 107,000 too many.

[pokemon-dad-rater]

Name of Dad: Gozaburo Kaiba Whose Dad: Seto and Mokuba (adopted sons); Noah (dead biological son) Pros: He's a chess champion and owns/owned his own company. Cons: Said company started out as a weapons manufacturer that fueled an entire war. He was raising his biological son as a tool to inherit the company one day. Then he adopted an orphan and pitted the two against each other. He created a missile satellite that would destroy major cities all around the world. He threatened to send his adopted son back to the orphanage if he didn't study hard enough. He didn't let him play games or have fun ever. When his bio son died in a car wreck he digitized the kid's brain and planned to upload it into his adopted son as the new vessel. He later scrapped this plan and abandoned his bio son to be a lonely AI forever. When his adopted son eventually turned against him (wow, shocking) and took control of the business out from under him to turn it into a game company, he went crazy and committed suicide. However, he had also digitized his own brain beforehand, so he still came back to be a virtual asshole and tried to blow up the world with missiles AGAIN. Overall Score: 0.5 out of 5, and he's somehow not even the worst dad YuGiOh has to offer.

[pokemon-dad-rater]

Name of Dad: Sugoroku AKA Solomon AKA Grandpa AKA Trusdale AKA Apdnarg AKA Jasper Dice Tudor Whose Dad: Yugi's granddad Pros: "Solomon Muto is Yugi's grandfather and with his father's absence, he is Yugi's ultimate provider. He is smart, kind-hearted, funny, silly, loving, resourceful, gentle, and, of course, grandfatherly." "Solomon gave Yugi the Millennium Puzzle as a present. He owns the Kame Game shop, where Yugi and his friends get several of the games they play." "He is the one who taught Yugi and Joey how to Duel." "Grandpa Muto might have a Ph.D, as one of the guides who led him to the Pharaoh's Tomb referred to him as "Dr. Muto" at one point." Cons: He keeps getting kidnapped and/or senile and/or dead, also he wore a fedora when he was young. For apparently being some kind of card game guru he's never shown winning a single duel in the anime. Overall Score: As grandfathers go you could certainly do worse, but his vacant stare is terrifying. This is supposed to be when he's NOT a soulless husk?! 3/5

[pokemon-dad-rater]

Name of Dad: Mr. Otogi AKA Mr. Clown Whose Dad: Ryuji’s dad Pros: MIMEY IS NOT FUCKING AROUND Cons: “He wanted Ryuji to avenge and succeed him. However, when Ryuji failed, Mr. Otogi revealed that Ryuji was born only to avenge him, and that failure meant that the boy had no more reason to live.” "Later, after setting up Yugi and framing him for stealing from his shop, Otogi took away Yugi's Millennium Puzzle and locked him up in a secret game room." "Otogi immediately tightened the chain around Yugi's neck, threatening to break Yugi's neck unless he complied." "However, when Otogi tried to rebuild the puzzle for himself, he almost got trapped in an illusory maze, and knocked back a candle, setting his shop on fire." "He opened Otogi's cafe, with his son and Jonouchi as servers. He later fired Jonouchi." Overall Score: He’s kind of like Ghetsis, if Ghetsis was a garish clown with stupid hair who once aged fifty years overnight and threatened to murder a child with his bare hands. So exactly like Ghetsis. At least N’s dad is tall enough to play basketball. 1/5

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Name of Dad: Arthur Hopkins AKA Arthur Hawkins AKA the most arbitrary change in an anime dub since jelly donuts Whose Dad: Rebecca's granddad Pros: "Arthur was a fellow gamer friend of Solomon Muto. He gave Solomon a rare Blue-Eyes White Dragon card after meeting in the sands of Egypt and surviving a cave-in together in an ancient tomb." "He gives information to Yugi concerning both of them and is instrumental in discovering the location of the lair of Dartz." "Arthur's research laboratory was burned to the ground. He didn't lose much hope, however, and kept on trying to help Yugi and his companions." "Arthur later found out that his granddaughter wanted to go on a trip with Yugi, but he said that the trip was too dangerous for her to go." Cons: That last one may seem like a con but honestly? Dude has the right idea. Everyone who hangs out with Yugi gets kidnapped or their soul ripped out or BOTH and he's just looking out for his little girl. This dad's only real downside is that he's boring. Overall Score: A sensible, if uninteresting grandfather. 3.5/5

[pokemon-dad-rater]

Name of Dad: Mr. Kajiki AKA Mr. Tsunami Whose Dad: Mako's dad Pros: "Mr. Tsunami taught his son, Mako, how to cook and fish. He had a boat, in which he and Mako would go fishing in. One day the boat got caught in a storm. Mr. Tsunami tied Mako to a mast to keep him on the boat, but got swept away into the sea himself." Cons: he's dead Overall Score: A ripped handsome dad who made the ultimate sacrifice for his son. 4.5/5. Enjoy this moment while it lasts, it's all downhill from here.

[pokemon-dad-rater]

"The Colress Machine has been activated, and it restored the blog to its original form... Which means...you've done it! You defeated the YuGiOh dads! The defeat of Mr. Ishtar and Gozaburo seems to have sent everyone who had come with them back to the Shadow Realm. As for me... I have decided on the next theme of my research! Well then, I hope to see you again sometime."