#points leggy up. hunt fic

[kalgalen]

His vampiric vision paints his surroundings in vivid colors, lights shimmering and pulsating in time with the beat of his heart. His other senses give him the same insane level of feedback - hearing sharp and attentive, smells subtle and shifting but bringing a whole other layer of information with each breath. His prey is hiding, and hiding well at that; but he's being intentionally sloppy, leaving a trail of tracks that would have been entirely avoidable if he'd really not wanted to be found.

Daniel smiles, predatory. His eyes flash amber behind his tinted glasses; the hunt is on. He hums a nonsensical tune as he strolls through the near-empty streets, picking up the signs of his quarry passing through the same alleyways with ease. Here, a handprint on a wall, invisible to anyone human and inattentive. There, the memory of a shape in a drunkard's mind. A puddle of water, imperceptibly disturbed by someone stepping in it just a minute ago.

The trail is getting warmer, and Daniel allows himself a moment of satisfaction; he's turning out to be a good hunter. No, scratch that, fuck the pretend modesty: he's a great hunter. His maker will be proud.

He finds himself following the tracks into a dead end, and is stumped for a bit; the hints stop there, between three solid walls and himself. The rules are clear: no flying, no killing, no manipulating passerbys’ memories - at least, not yet. Daniel tests out the wall that's in front of him for grips in the stone; it is brick, and so doesn't lack grooves where someone's claws could find purchase. The scratches are old, though, and not at all in the shape of hands.

Daniel doesn't let it deter him. He breathes in - once to center himself, a second time to scan his surroundings - and here, here's the smell he's looking for. Strong now that he's paying attention to it, familiar, mouth-watering. He looks around, up, and finds a rusting ladder that has recently been pulled up into a fire escape stairway. He can't reach it by jumping but perhaps -

He turns again to the brick wall and fits his claws into disintegrating mortar, then starts climbing.

It isn't easy, and it isn't quick, but he makes his way to the top of the wall and hoists himself up to a sitting position. He takes a moment to marvel at his strength and endurance (not quite new anymore, but it's going to be a long time until the novelty wears out after years of slow physical decline) then carefully stands up and, in one smooth motion, leaps from the wall to the fire escape.

The noise the decaying metal makes as he slams into it makes him grimace, but he doesn't waste time, immediately pulling himself up and climbing the creaking steps, following the intoxicating scent of his prey. It leads him to the roof, and he knows he's reached his goal as soon as he reaches the top.

“Took you long enough,” Armand says by way of greeting. His back is turned to Daniel, and his voice is low - but Daniel hears him loud and clear, each syllable plucking at his attention like fingers on the strings of a guitar. He sighs, smiles easy and fond, and steps forward.

“Aw, were you getting bored?”

Armand half-turns his head. “No. Simply wondering if you'd gotten lost.”

“Ye of little faith,” Daniel chuckles. He's right behind Armand now, and it feels natural to wrap his arms around his maker's waist, to pull him closer. “Got you.”

“You did.” Armand sighs, and his body melts comfortably against Daniel's. His neck bends invitingly, and that's all the encouragement Daniel needs to set blunt teeth on the dark skin offered to him.

He breathes in his sire's scent, loses himself in it for a bit - Armand's smell, Armand's physicality, his presence - then lets his fangs drop slowly, until they're pressing against the tender flesh underneath.

“Well?” Armand says softly. “Claim your prize. Go on.”

Don't mind if I do, Daniel thinks, and although he can't hear his thoughts directly, Armand must feel them well enough. A shiver of anticipation runs through his narrow frame, and his hands cover Daniel's on his hips.

Daniel bites down; the blood floods his mouth, sweet and cool and sticky, sluggish like only a vampire's can be. He drinks slowly, savoring each gulp; so focused on his own enjoyment, he doesn't notice the way Armand has slumped against him until he can hear his maker's breath, coming short and quick, laced with desperate little moans.

“Oh, not bored, then.” Daniel smiles against the punctures he bit in Armand's throat. “Impatient.”

Armand tears himself away, then, and flips around. His eyes are twin flames in the muddy night of the city, dangerous and eager. Without a word, he crushes his mouth against Daniel's in a bruising, bloody kiss.

“I've waited long enough,” he snarls - before dragging them both down to the ground.

[casdeans-pie]

Combining these and writing fic at 12am *chefs kiss*

Thanks for the added detail that made me write this @dreampencil

---Read on AO3---

-------

The first time it happened, Cas almost convinced Dean that it hadn’t.

It was a hazard of the job that hunting ghosts inevitably led to grimy, abandoned, pile of crap houses that looked like a vengeful spirit’s wet dream. Full of rotted wood, endless layers of dust, and freaking spiders. Dean had probably seen more spiders than anyone ever should. But it was fine, because he wasn’t scared of them – he didn’t think there was a hunter alive who could do what they do and go where they go if they were – spiders were just a nuisance. A pest of the ghost-hunting variety. Dean thought nothing of wiping them from his hands or clothes or pushing through thick webs that always seemed to get everywhere.

So, when he noticed a particularly leggy spider creeping over the spikes of Cas’s hair during a hunt, of course he was going to brush it away.

Nobody wants a spider in their hair. Angel or not.

It hadn’t even been that much of a touch.

The two of them had been searching through what remained of the rotted kitchen cabinets while Sam looked upstairs, when Dean noticed the spider. In retrospect, maybe he should have said something first, but Cas had been engrossed in the contents of an old wooden drawer and Dean’s hand had simply twitched up to brush away the eldritch creature nesting in Cas’s hair before he’d even registered what he was doing.

Cas jumped violently as soon as Dean’s fingers made contact.

The single bare light bulb in the room hummed loudly as it flared and flickered. An old radio (covered in layers of years of grime and dust) crackled to life, despite being long disconnected from the power, and poured out a steady stream of static.

Then everything stopped.

The light returned to normal, the radio went silent, and Dean’s hand remained hovered awkwardly in the air where it had been since he brushed the spider away.

Cas stared at him with wide eyes.

Dean pointed at Cas’s head. “There was a- spider. In your hair,” he explained. “But uh- don’t worry, I got it.” Dean flashed him a smile, as if he’d performed a great service, and wiped his hand on his jeans. He took a step over to the radio and held up the disconnected cable. “Cas. The power just now-”

“Bad wiring,” Cas rumbled, holding Dean’s gaze. “Or maybe the ghost.”

Dean gave an unconvinced hum as he dropped the cable and rubbed his fingertips together. Cas’s hair had been softer than he’d expected… Not that he’d ever thought about running his hands through it or anything. But before Dean could linger on any of the new thoughts he was having, or ask another question about the mysterious power surge, the air had gone cold, and they were both ducking from a barrage of decorative plates flying around the room.

And Dean forgot all about it.

---Read the rest on AO3---

---

The first time it happened, Cas almost convinced Dean that it hadn’t.

The second time it happened was just part of a joke, an accident.

The third time it happened was an experiment.....

The fourth time it happened was on purpose.

[doc-pickles]

always free to run home

in which alex's dad shows up post 16x16

hello! i posted this fun little fic on AO3 awhile back but i'm also throwing it over here. shoutout to @mac-andcheeses for letting me use her brain child for this one!

“Hey, it's Alex. Leave me a message.”

“Karev, it's Miranda Bailey. Your dad is being treated at Grey Sloan for injuries he sustained during a car crash and he’s also detoxing from years of heavy drug use. We don’t have any other emergency contact for him, the only reason we knew who he was… That’s not important. I need you to come back to Seattle. I know you’ve got your picket fence and your perfect kids and your blonde ex wife out there in Kansas but you need to come back home.”

+

“Hey Junior. Can’t believe they really dragged your sorry ass out here. Doctor Bailey said I got a couple of grandkids out in Kansas. What the hell are you doing in Kansas?”

Alex rolls his eyes, ignoring his dad as he flips open his chart. Bailey had explained the situation when he had arrived just 30 minutes earlier but he wanted to see for himself just how bad it was looking for his father.

“They’re my kids but you’re not their grandpa. You don’t deserve that title,” Alex answers, not looking up from the chart. “Your liver is failing.”

“I know, that’s what they told me.”

“That doesn’t just happen overnight, you must have been in pain for a while.”

“You’re not giving me any new information, the leggy brunette doctor nearly chewed my ear off when I first came in,” Jimmy lets out a sigh and Alex decides to let his comment about his doctor slide. “I’m dying, it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Do you just not care about anything? You’re about to die and all you can do is shrug your shoulders,” when Jimmy doesn’t respond Alex can’t help the frustrated groan that leaves him. “God I don’t even know why I came out here. You’re still the same guy that left us all those years ago aren’t you?”

Alex turns to leave but stops in his tracks when Jimmy speaks up, “Now that’s something you know a thing or two about isn’t it?” He doesn’t know how his dad knows the details of his escape from Seattle but his words make Alex’s blood boil as he turns to face Jimmy again, “Don’t you ever compare me to you. I left my whole life behind the minute I heard about my kids. I left my friends, my wife. Everything! I left the state to be there for my kids, I am nothing like you.”

“Trust me kid, I know all about your wife. Who do you think figured out who I was? Didn’t you see her name all over those tests?”

Alex practically lunges at the chart he’d just discarded. His eyes frantically scan the page, freezing almost immediately as he finds what he’s looking for.

Attending on the case: Doctor J. Karev

“She figured out pretty quick who I was, said we have the same crooked smile,” Jimmy is unphased by Alex’s mild freak out, continuing his story. “Didn’t say it outright but I saw her name on my chart and I knew. Well I pieced it together eventually, I’m not stupid.”

Alex finally looks back at Jimmy, anger still evident in his expression, “I know I fucked up by leaving Jo but you left our family! You left your kids behind!”

“And how exactly do you think I figured out who she was?”

Alex pauses, mind reeling at Jimmy’s words. He thinks he knows what he’s saying but Alex refuses to believe it. His dad was probably high still and trying to guilt trip him.

“I saw her, you ex wife. She was getting coffee and she had a baby, a little boy, all bundled up in his carrier. That’s when I figured it all out, the kid is your clone. Looks just like you did when your mom and I brought you home.

“Anyways the next day I overheard her talking to someone in the hall about how she couldn’t be on my case anymore. And it all made sense, the last name and the baby and everything. She stopped by earlier today and that short doctor told her you were coming. I think she went home to avoid you.”

Standing in a stunned silence Alex stares at the chart in his hands, still trying to fully process what his father is telling him. On the other hand Jimmy is talking a mile a minute but Alex can’t comprehend a word he’s saying.

“I gotta go,” Alex mutters the words as a half assed goodbye, sprinting out of the room and down to his rental car.

The loft is an easy destination, Alex’s body driving almost on autopilot. As he pulls into the back of the lot it occurs to him that in the year he’d been gone Jo might have moved. He’s about to call Meredith when the sleek black Audi he used to drive pulls in. He sits and stares in awe as Jo climbs out, opening the back door to grab a diaper bag and car seat before heading inside. He can’t see the baby from his vantage point but just the knowledge that he and Jo have a child together brings tears to his eyes.

He pulls himself together quickly, locking his car as he takes the steps up to the loft two at a time. It’s not until he’s standing at the door that he pauses, wondering if Jo rebbe wants to see him. Despite his reservations Alex knocks on the door, knowing he never wanted to live a life where he didn’t know all of his children.

The loft door slides open and for a moment the world around Alex is frozen. Jo is standing in front of him, eyes wide as she takes him in. As awestruck as Alex is seeing Jo for the first time in a year he can’t take his eyes off of the little boy in her arms. His dad was right, aside from the bright hazel eyes blinking up at him the kid is his clone, right down to the haphazard curls sticking up on his head.

“I… Bailey called me about my dad. And he said he saw you… I just needed to see for myself,” Alex shakes his head, as if the past year had suddenly come back to him. “I’m sorry I just barged in on you, I know you probably don’t want to see me. I’d really love to get to know him, you know where to reach me.”

Alex turns to leave, getting to the top of the stairs before Jo’s voice rings out, “His name is Blake. You two share a birthday.”

He doesn’t move as he processes what Jo’s just told him. There’s another beat of silence before she speaks again, “I didn’t know I was pregnant, you’d think a doctor of all people would know but I didn’t until I gave birth at home at 2 AM. He’s only three months old and by some miracle he’s perfect.”

Alex finally turns around, staring wordlessly at Jo who has tears streaking down her face. Blake is fading fast in her arms, struggling to keep his eyes open as Jo gently rocks him. It takes everything in him not to surge forward and wrap them both in his arms, but he knows not to push his luck with the woman he left so long ago.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called and told you about him but this has been the longest and scariest three months of my life. I didn’t have nine months to prepare and adjust to being a mom, I had minutes. And every minute since I first held our son in my arms has been full of me second guessing myself and trying to do what’s best for him.”

Jo’s chest is heaving now as she struggles to catch her breath. Her hand comes up to stifle the sob that comes out, Alex moving quickly to wrap her in his arms, “I know you’re a great mom Jo you don’t need to doubt that even for a minute. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

“You being here wouldn’t have changed anything, except maybe you freaking out when I went to pee and came back with a baby,” Jo burrows herself further into Alex’s embrace. “We made a baby.”

“A pretty cute one too,” Alex is about to say more when he notices a ring of bruises around Jo’s wrist. She notices too, quickly pulling at her sleeves to cover the fresh black and blue marks. “Jo…”

Jo pulls away from Alex as she walks into the loft and sets Blake down in his crib, “I’m fine, it was just an accident at work last night.”

Alex steps in front of Jo as she attempts to walk away from him. He doesn’t reach out to hold her like he wants to, instead studying her nervous behavior, “You know you can tell me the truth, right?”

Jo nods, still hesitant to look up at Alex as she focuses on her hands, “It was just an altercation with a patient, Hunt stepped in before I could get seriously hurt.”

“Jo-”

“It’s fine!”

“It’s not fine, you were attacked by a patient.”

“And I’m not on the case anymore. So it’s-”

“Not fine! What would’ve happened if-”

“Nothing happened! And I don’t think it’s your place to worry about me.”

“Of course it is, it always will be.”

“Can you stop freaking out?” “You were hurt! Of course I’m going to-”

“It was Jimmy. It was your dad that… hurt me.”

There’s a stifling silence as Alex takes in what Jo’s just told him. She’s watching him nervously, as if he was going to blow his lid at any moment, but he just stays quiet. When she realizes that he’s not going to say anything, Jo breaks their eye contact and continues her story.

“He was detoxing and thought I was your mom,” Jo rolls up her sleeves to show Alex the large hand marks covering the bottom half of her arms. “I’m fine though, I got checked over and Blake was in his car seat the whole time.”

“Blake was with you?!”

“Yeah… I was just checking on Jimmy before I left. He had told me earlier that he wanted to see Blake, that he looked just like you did as a baby,” Jo still refuses to meet Alex’s worried gaze as she retells the events of the previous night. “When I got there things were fine but then I showed him Blake and Jimmy just… He started yelling at me and pushing me around the room. He was calling me Helen and asking why I hadn’t picked you up from school yet. I pushed Blake’s car seat out of the way right before he pinned me up against the wall. Thankfully I was able to reach the code blue button and Owen rushed in right before he punched me.”

Jo finally meets Alex’s eyes and it takes everything in him not to run out of the loft and find his father, to scream at him and kick and punch and make him pay for hurting Jo the way that he had hurt him and his mother. Instead he leans down and cups Jo’s cheeks, wiping the tears pooled there as he fixes her with a gentle look.

“I’m fine, I really am Alex. I was more worried about Blake through the whole thing,” Jo shrugs as Alex’s fingers float across her cheek. “I’m used to-”

Jo cuts her statement short as she realizes what she was about to say. Instead she shakes her head and breaks free from Alex’s hold on her as she walks to what used to be his dresser. She pulls out a pair of his ratty sweatpants and an old t shirt, handing them to him as she walks past him towards her bed, “You can stay on the couch tonight, you know where the blankets are.”

“I can wake up with Blake,” Alex quickly offers. “You have a ton of bottles up by the sink and I’ve made about a thousand of them in the NICU. You need the rest.”

Jo just nods, practically falling into bed with a sigh. By the time Alex comes out of the bathroom her soft snores are echoing through the loft.

+

When Jo wakes up the next morning Alex has scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom and folded the pile of laundry on the couch. He had let Jo sleep in, toting Blake around in his carrier while he cleaned the loft. While Jo was never the neatest person she would always get antsy when the loft started to get too unorganized or cluttered. He could tell just from the state of things that she was completely overwhelmed with the infant that had unexpectedly taken over her life.

“I made coffee,” Alex gestures to the steaming pot on the counter. “And Blake just went down for a nap.” Jo nods in appreciation, silently pouring a cup of coffee for herself before turning to Alex, “When are you going back to Kansas?”

“My flight is scheduled for late tonight,” Alex lets out a sigh as Jo turns away from him. “Jo come on, I didn’t even know about Blake until yesterday.”

Jo turns back towards him, anger replacing the sadness that was just there, “Because you left! You left me Alex! I’m not counting on you sticking around just because we have a baby together.”

“I’m not just going to abandon my kid Jo.”

“Well you abandoned your wife pretty easily so excuse me if I don’t exactly believe you,” Jo scoffs, tears welling in her eyes. “You wanna know why I never called? Because being a single mom sounds a lot easier than shipping my son across the country to see his dad and step mom and their perfect life on a farm. I know you want to be in Blake’s life but I’m not putting him on a plane every other weekend so you can do that.”

“Izzie and I aren’t together.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Your stupid letter-”

“Was a mistake! The biggest mistake that I have ever made and I am so sorry about that Jo, but I would never try to take Blake from you,” Alex pleads. “You have to know that, don’t you?” “I don’t know that, I don’t know anything about you,” Jo’s voice reaches a scream as she faces off with Alex. “You spent years telling me you weren’t leaving, even longer trying to show me that your actions were louder than your words. And you still left me in a freaking letter!”

“Jo-”

Jo finally turns away from Alex, running a hand through her hair, “I’m not arguing with you about this. You left and gave me no say in our divorce.” “I had to leave, I had to be there for my kids.”

“And I would’ve come if you had asked me,” there’s tears in Alex’s eyes as Jo speaks, her voice coming down from it’s roar. “If you want to talk about knowing people, you should’ve known that I would follow you anywhere Alex. Did nine years teach you nothing or are you just extraordinarily stupid?”

Alex’s phone rings and breaks the illusion that they’re alone in the world. He only glances at the text for a moment before he’s shoving his shoes on his feet and grabbing his wallet and keys. When he looks back at Jo she’s staring at him with an anxious expression.

“I’m not leaving, it’s just my dad and-”

“Go Alex.”

“I’m not-”

“Go. We’ll still be here.”

Alex only spares one more look at Jo before he’s rushing out the door to Grey Sloan. He doesn’t know why he feels some sick sense of honor towards the man that abandoned him and gave him more trust issues than he can name, but he knows he needs to see his dad.

“Karev, your dad coded a little while ago,” Bailey begins to explain the situation as soon as Alex walks up to her. “Because of his long term drug use his heart is weak. He’s stable for now but… I would be shocked if he made it through the night.”

Alex nods his thanks to Bailey as he walks into Jimmy’s room. His dad is laying completely still, the slow and steady beeping monitors the only sign that he’s still alive. Alex settles into the seat next to the bed, watching his dad for a long moment. He hated him for years for everything he had put their family through, the way he had abandoned them and hurt his mom beyond repair. In fact Alex couldn’t help but feel a cruel kinship with his father, both men having broken their families into seemingly unfixable pieces.

“Alex.”

The soft voice shocks him but Alex looks up to meet his dad's gaze. He can tell it’s taking everything in him to form words but that doesn’t stop Jimmy.

“Kid, you’re nothin’ like me. That girl loves you more than you know and you’ve got a chance to do right by her and that little boy,” Jimmy lets out a cough and reaches out for Alex’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did. You’re a much better man than I ever was.”

It’s silent after that, Alex sitting and holding his dad's hand until the monitors around him fall silent an hour later. He sits with him for a while more before leaving, going back to the hotel room he had rented instead of the loft like he had wanted to. There’s a million thoughts running through his head but one rings louder than the rest.

Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

+

Logically Alex knows he should’ve called or texted or even sent another letter to Jo. Maybe not the letter, but it had been two weeks since his dad had passed and he had left Seattle without a word to anyone. He feels bad for leaving Jo once again but he also knows that his decision is for the best.

He’s not shocked even a little when Jo opens the loft door and scowls at him. Blake is on the floor of the living room batting at colorful shapes on his playmat and Alex is thankful that he at least seems happy.

“Hi.”

“Hey asshole,” Jo scoffs and turns around, leaving the door open for Alex but not acknowledging him. “You said you were going to the hospital and then you left. You specifically said you weren’t leaving and then you left. Again.”

“I know.”

Jo picks up the laundry basket on the couch and begins to put away the folded clothes, “I’m not really interested in whatever it is you have to say Alex. I’m done believing anything you say because every time I do I just get hurt.”

“l bought a house in Queen Anne,” Alex watches as the laundry basket in Jo’s hands tumbles to the ground, her eyes wide as she stares at him with unwavering attention. “I know you always liked the neighborhood and it’s right around the corner from Meredith. It’s a two story with some extra bedrooms and it’s got a big backyard for Blake to run around in with the twins when they come to visit in the summers. I already talked to Izzie and she said she’s more than happy to let them visit. And uh Bailey gave me my job back, as head of peds.”

Jo’s hand flies up to her mouth as she stares at Alex in shock. He at least has the decency to look somewhat ashamed for having left without a word, but the sight of her so emotional over his return makes him feel slightly better.

“I’m staying in Seattle, I’m going to be here for Blake. I can’t… I’m not my dad. I’m not going to leave my kid or my… you. I’m not letting you do this alone Jo, you don’t deserve that,” Alex takes a deep breath and chances another look at Jo who now has tears running down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I didn’t call but I wanted to wrap things up back in Kansas and have everything lined up here. I promise that anytime you call or text from now on that I’ll answer. I’m not going to make the same mistakes I did before.”

The last word barely slips out of Alex’s mouth before Jo is across the loft, throwing herself into his hold. A sigh of relief leaves Alex as he wraps her in his arms, pressing his lips to her hair. They stay that way for a few minutes, just enjoying being close before Jo pulls back.

“Thank god, the loft is getting crowded and I’m worried Blake is gonna end up electrocuting himself or something when he starts crawling because I never had time to baby proof,” Jo blinks up at Alex, who looks confused at her statement. “What did you think I wasn’t going to come with you?”

“I-“

Before he can say anything in return Jo’s lips are against his and for the first time in months Alex feels well and truly at home.

[satonthelotuspier]

Fur and Feathers

So, a Shifter AU. I’ll probably dip into this verse quite a bit. This is part 1 of XiCheng, pre-relationship (at the Cloud Recesses) and setting it up for the  later parts of their story and relationship. There’ll definitely be some Wangxian to be written here as well as more XiCheng. Throw your requests at me if you want to see other’s etc and I’ll see if I can fit them into the verse. It wasn’t touched on for the purpose of this fic but LXC is a mountain hawk-eagle, I love how this fits because many of the pictures I’ve seen have the MHE having a tufty cluster of feathers on their head which is similar to the ornament LXC wears in the live action version.

Title taken from Jordan L Hawke’s hexworld series where the animal familiars tend to use “fur and feathers” as a curse/exclamation, because I’m not very creative with titles.

3.4k of cats being cats. Crack, probably?

XiCheng Part 1

Why had he let Wei Wuxian talk him into this? Jiang Cheng thought in despair as his sleek, black-furred body slipped urgently from deep shadow to shadow, trying to avoid the Lan Sect disciples who he could hear follow behind with their light, even steps. He panicked, crouched low to the ground in the lee of a bush and looked around for any escape.

There, there was a door that was still open to the cool night air.

He put everything he had into his legs and made a dash for the doorway.

The Lan disciples spotted the form of deeper shadow moving in the darkness of the night, but as he made the door he heard one of them stop the other, “You know we can’t enter the Hanshi, Zewu-jun will have to deal with whatever it is...”

Zewu-jun! Lan Xichen! Oh fuck. His claws scrabbled to gain purchase on the wooden floor.

He had to get out of the Hanshi, now, at all costs. He’d rather face the two chasing disciples than Lan Xichen, with him vulnerable in this form.

He had just altered his momentum and changed direction for the opened doorway again, when he felt gentle hands catch him around the ribcage and lift him up.

He yowled in outrage; take your hands off of me, how dare you ruffle my beautiful, sleek fur.

“Calm down, little one” the gentle, melodious voice was of course the First Jade of Lan’s; he was in so much trouble, “What a beautiful little thing you are. I wonder where you came from. None of the new students are registered as cat shifters”

That was his mother’s fault, Madam Yu Ziyuan was mortally embarrassed her male child, instead of a majestic king cat like his tigress sister, or even a sturdy, protective dog breed like his “useless” Samoyed father, had dared to be born a domestic cat shifter. You just couldn’t trust genetics.

He hissed at the sudden movement as Lan Xichen lifted him, and he wanted to dig a hole to bury himself when he realised the other was checking his bits to determine his sex.

I will scratch your insolent eyes out, shameless creature, he howled his rage, claws flexing impotently at the end of his delicate paws.

“There, there” he was folded into the other’s arms, “such a beautiful little boy” a soft finger scratched gently at his head.

No, please, no, no, no. This was bad…

The finger moved down the scruff of his neck and hit the point directly between his slender shoulder blades.

Nooooo.

He couldn’t stop the gentle rumble that began deep in his chest as Lan Xichen rubbed at one of the spots that was guaranteed to coax his purr from him.

He wanted to dig that hole even deeper as the sound of contentment and pleasure rolled from him in waves. Like most shifters sometimes his instincts were stronger than his ability to suppress them, and sometimes Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but want to curl up in someone’s lap and be stroked like the precious baby his animal was.

Wei Wuxian loved to tease him about it. But then what did Wei Wuxian not like to tease anyone about?

He couldn’t complain too much as Wei Wuxian, his adopted brother and Jiang Yanli, his elder sister, were the only two people he could really ask to provide such a service on demand.

“That’s such a lovely sound” Lan Xichen complimented him, keeping up the fusses that caused it, perpetuating Jiang Cheng’s internal conflict.

Lan Xichen moved over to the table that contained a half-used tea set, and sat down, with Jiang Cheng in his lap.

It turned out the only shameless thing was himself, as he curled up, nose under tail, and let his animal take complete control.

It was much later that evening when Jiang Cheng stirred himself; he really ought to think about escaping and returning back to Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang, who would no doubt be enjoying their smuggled Emperor’s Smile, safely achieved due to Jiang Cheng’s drawing the patrolling Lan disciples away.

He rose to four paws and stretched lazily, but as he looked up into the delicate, handsome face of the first Jade of Lan, he caught such a look of melancholy and sadness he was shocked into stillness.

Lan Xichen seemed to come back from his thoughts, and the look vanished, as he realised the black cat had moved.

“Did you have a nice nap, xiao-Zizi?”

Little Purple, because of the unusual colour of his eyes in cat form.

Even though he had banished the sadness from his face there was an aura that clung to him, and Jiang Cheng’s soft heart, which he kept buried deeply under layers or sarcasm, anger and a pretence of not caring, thrummed in sympathy.

He swallowed every ounce of pride he possessed, then stretched his claws up so he  stood on his back paws, with his front on the shoulder of Lan Xichen’s robes, then he rubbed his cheek against Lan Xichen’s. This was usually a cat’s way of marking it’s family, but it was also very cute and guaranteed to make a gentle soul like Lan Xichen smile.

It did, and Jiang Cheng mewled in approval as the other’s mouth curved gently.

He considered his role fulfilled, and jumped down from Lan Xichen’s lap with the intention of leaving. Except there was a tassel. It was attached to the jade pendant hanging from Lan Xichen’s belt.

Instincts again took him as he leapt forward to catch it under his front paws, claws digging into the threads and robes.

His cat’s body, like his human body, was just reaching the end of childhood; it was all gangly legs and too-big paws and playfulness, and it was a lot harder to stop his kitten’s urge to play than it was his human’s; where he was expected to show a much higher level of maturity.

Instead of the telling off he expected Lan Xichen merely chuckled and actually began to tease him with the tassel, allowing him to chase and pounce and hunt, butt-wiggle and all. He even detached it from the pendant and tossed it across the room to watch as the leggy young cat scrabbled over to enact a killing pounce.

By the end of their playtime Jiang Cheng was so exhausted that when Lan Xichen went to sleep he also curled up on the other’s chest, uncaring of the impropriety because he was a cat, and cats didn’t care about rules. It also meant he got extra fusses, which cats, despite their sometimes cold demeanours, did care about.

***

He had hugely miscalculated, Jiang Cheng realised as he woke up the next morning alone and curled with his nose under his tail on Lan Xichen’s bed.

It wasn’t much after five in the morning, but classes began soon, and he had to make his way back across the Cloud Recesses, without the security of night shadows the colour of his fur, to hide in.

He stretched, then slunk out of the Hanshi’s door to assess his trip.

It was misty and cool and there was dew everywhere; he was going to hate this. Unless he turned back to his human form. Honestly he was ready to let his cat instincts lie for a while now anyway; they had been given free reign far too much the previous evening, and if his mother found out he would be in serious trouble.

But his human form provided far too many other complications, like explaining what a visiting disciple was doing in the first young lord of Lan’s private sanctum, and the fact he was neither stealthy nor small enough to evade detection in it.

His cat would just have to suck it up and travel through the dew-strewn morning.

He matched actions to thoughts and eventually arrived safely back at their lodgings.

Wei Wuxian scooped him up as he opened the door to Jiang Cheng’s scratching.

“Where have you been? We were just about to start combing the entire Cloud Recesses for you” Wei Wuxian set him down on his bed, and gave him the space to return to his human form.

Which he did with a deep sigh of relief.

“I was trapped in the Hanshi, with Lan Xichen. I had to stay a cat or I’d have been in so much trouble. Sometimes I suppose A-Niang’s refusal to acknowledge that I’m a cat shifter has it’s uses” he tried to make a joke of it, as he always did, but it never cut him any less that he was a disappointment to his family on something he had absolutely no control over at all.

His mother always registered his shifter form as a Xiasi hound.

Wei Wuxian held his tongue on that subject.

Nie Huaisang, who had become firm friends with the two Yunmeng boys during their first few days in Gusu, fluttered his fan nervously, “You spent the night in Lan Xichen’s rooms?”

“I was being chased by two Lan Disciples, and I ducked through the nearest door. They didn’t follow me into the Hanshi. But Lan Xichen was there, so I couldn’t get away. I had to cat”

“I would have paid to have seen you acting all cute with the First Jade of Lan” Wei Wuxian grinned, enormously entertained by the thought, “But we can’t let him find out it was you” he agreed. “You should get changed, we’ll be late for class”

“I need to bathe” really, the only thing that ruled Jiang Cheng’s world in both forms was his rigorous personal hygiene routine. He would rather die than cut it short in any way.

Wei Wuxian was fully aware of what Jiang Cheng was like and had kept a bath drawn for him.

“It will be cold, sorry, be quick, you’ll draw attention to yourself if you’re late” Wei Wuxian informed him as he moved to the door with Nie Huaisang in tow.

“I know, I’ll be done as soon as possible”

The other two left him to his toilette as he began shedding robes.

***

Carefully groomed he made it just in time to slip into the classroom and kneel at his desk before Lan Qiren and his eldest nephew, Lan Xichen arrived.

They found out immediately what Lan Xichen’s attendance was for; Jiang Cheng should have known he wouldn’t let the sudden, unexplained appearance of a cat lie.

Under the pretence of checking their administration they questioned if there were any cat shifters present as someone had thought they might have seen one the previous evening.

Jiang Cheng lowered his gaze, hiding his flush with the fall of his hair, and Wei Wuxian, being Wei Wuxian, decided to distract the room.

“Are they sure it wasn’t a sable, Lan-gongzi? I’m a sable, look at how cute I am” and he slipped into his animal form and dashed to the front of the classroom and onto the desk to show off his cuteness.

The rest of the classroom of course found this greatly amusing, and even Lan Xichen smiled a little.

“Yes, thank you Wei-gongzi, for the demonstration” he picked Wei Wuxian up and returned him to his own desk, more to protect the younger man from his uncle’s ire than any other reason, and Wei Wuxian returned to his human form.

“See, I look a lot like a cat, right?” Wei Wuxian asked with a huge smile; one that got him out of trouble with Jiang Cheng’s father every time.

“I’ll bear that in mind, Wei-gongzi” Lan Xichen left soon afterwards, having received no further clue as to the identity of his night time visitor.

***

He was returning from the library pavilion late the following evening when Jiang Cheng stumbled upon the Two Jades of Lan, who were strolling towards the Lan living areas in the soft moonlight; and Jiang Cheng caught the tail end of their conversation.

“How are you and Wei-gongzi getting along, Wangji?”

What had Jiang Cheng missed?

Apparently whatever it was, Lan Wangji had also missed it.

“Xiongzhang, I don’t understand? Wei Wuxian and I have no interaction outside of uncle’s classroom. He’s frivolous, careless, and irreverent. He also makes my nose twitch”

“That would be your inner rabbit” there was a small smile in Lan Xichen’s voice, “You should try to make more friends your own age while we have so many young cultivators here at the Cloud Recesses, Wangji, Wei-gongzi’s personality is a little trying, I’ll grant you, but he has a large heart, and he’s very personable. He would balance out your more reserved personality, and vice versa. Friendships often work best when opposites attract”

There was a soft “hmph” from the younger Jade, and the sound of gravel underfoot quickened, indicating Lan Wangji walked away from his elder brother, who chuckled softly.

Jiang Cheng hadn’t meant to spy on them, but the moment he had heard Wei Wuxian being talked of he had assumed his cat form and followed the two Jades from the shadows, ensuring he was on hand if Wei Wuxian’s reputation needed protecting. Lan Xichen had spoken nothing if not the truth, however, so now Jiang Cheng found himself left alone in the shadows near the elder Lan sibling.

He was about to stealth away when he noticed the other look up at the stars briefly. That melancholic aura surrounded him again, and Jiang Cheng was caught between following his first intention of leaving, or making himself known and trying to cheer up the elder Jade.

He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his responsibility; everyone had their own worries to carry in this world, and Lan Xichen’s were nothing to do with him.

It would have been useful if he ever listened to his own good advice.

Instead he slunk out of the shadows and pressed against Lan Xichen’s ankles.

***

Thus began nights of his sneaking off to provide whatever comfort and distraction he could to the Lan Sect heir.

He didn’t allow himself to be caught out like on the first morning though, and around the change of a day he would slink away back to his rooms, sometimes to find Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang engaged in drinking, which he would join them in.

Wei Wuxian began talking quite a lot about Lan Wangji, especially in his cups and Jiang Cheng couldn’t help thinking about the conversation he had overheard between the Lan siblings.

From what Wei Wuxian said it seemed Lan er-gongzi was as unreceptive of the advances Wei Wuxian made as he had been when Lan Xichen had suggested to Lan Wangji that he try to make friends.

Really Jiang Cheng wasn’t surprised; he loved Wei Wuxian like a brother, (if he was pushed on the matter and forced to admit his feelings), but he wasn’t blind to the fact Wei Wuxian was an acquired taste, and one his own palate wasn’t fully inured to on occasion.

It continued so for some weeks.

Until one night he was guilted into staying with Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang after the former had made a successful trip down the mountain to obtain Emperor’s Smile.

Although Wei Wuxian had a high tolerance for alcohol it did loosen his tongue, and he began complaining.

“You don’t mark us as much anymore” there was a definite pout in his voice, and Jiang Cheng started. He referred of course to the rub of a cheek against family and close friends Jiang Cheng used to scent people as his social group.

“Yes I do. As much as I can get away with here in Gusu, I can’t do it as freely as at Lotus Pier Wei Wuxian, you know what would happen to me if mother found out I let the cat out of the bag”

Wei Wuxian found his choice of idiom hilarious and laughed heartily, while Nie Huaisang waved his fan at Wei Wuxian, urging him to be quiet less they be discovered.

Then he did quieten, “No you don’t, and you never want to stay and drink with us, and Huaisang has such amazing pornography too. All you want to do is sneak away to be with Lan Xichen” the size of the pout in his voice had increased at least threefold.

He supposed he couldn’t deny he had spent most of the past weeks playing therapy animal in the Hanshi.

“Wei Wuxian, don’t be like that…”

“You give him all my fusses, you haven’t wanted to curl up in my lap since we got here. I’m your brother, I have a right!”

The last sentence was spoken at the same time as Jiang Cheng said: “Wei Wuxian…” and a third voice from the doorway added to the cacophony.

“So it was you” Lan Xichen, summoned to catch them drinking by a patrolling disciple, had walked in at the perfect point in the conversation to finally find out who the mysterious cat who visited him most nights was.

He sounded enraged.

“I would love to know what kind of silly entertainment you all took from your little scheme, but...well, never mind”

“It wasn’t entertainment” Jiang Cheng jumped to his feet, his panic dissipating into anger. His gesture had been meant as nothing but kindness, even enacted under the cloak of secrecy, and he didn’t feel he deserved such censure.

“That’s quite enough, Jiang-gongzi, you will all be punished in the morning for the rules you have broken. I feel I should write to the Council of Elders and inform them you’re misrepresenting yourself on shifter registers, too”

That threat cut deeper than any other Lan Xichen could have made, and Jiang Cheng’s already ashen complexion went a shade paler.

“You can’t, you don’t understand…”

“I said that’s enough” and the first Jade of Lan turned and left.

***

Jiang Cheng stayed only long enough to receive his punishment the following morning, then set out back to Yunmeng to enact damage control and explain to Madam Yu that her falsifying of his shifter records might be brought to light.

She was enraged, and Jiang Cheng didn’t think there was a safe space in the world for him at that moment. If he wasn’t reminded constantly what a fool he had been by his mother, he was reminded by his own memories and Lan Xichen’s anger.

He could only stay out of her way; hiding for the most part with Jiang Yanli.

His sister kept him sane, giving him the sympathy and protection he so desperately needed at the moment.

Wei Wuxian wrote shortly after his return, to inform him he had spoken rather sharply on his behalf to Lan Xichen, explaining his motivations, that it definitely hadn’t been for the purposes of entertainment at the first Jade’s expense.

He had also begged the other to not write to the Council of Elders, explaining it wasn’t Jiang Cheng’s choice, nor fault, that he was falsely registered on all his shifter documentation.

A while later he received a second letter. The cloud seal, and elegant script suggested it might be from Lan Xichen. His childish first instinct was to burn it immediately, unread.  He was still bitter the other hadn’t given him a chance to explain, and had had him punished for a kindness.

But he also wanted vindication.

Eventually the second motivation won out and he read it.

It wasn’t quite the full exoneration he had wanted. But the Lan Sect heir did apologise for reacting as he had, so immediately and without allowing Jiang Cheng to offer any defence on his own behalf.

Lan Xichen informed him he wouldn’t write to the Council, and that he would keep his secret on that issue given the circumstances.

Lan Xichen did still blame him for being so secretive about his identity, and said he should never have assumed Lan Xichen would welcome that kind of interference. Which Jiang Cheng accepted fully. He had entirely taken it upon himself to provide comfort.

Finally the first Jade of Lan suggested they meet to discuss the matter and set it to rest.

Not a chance.

Once he had read the letter fully Jiang Cheng did burn it, and didn’t reply.

A fourteen year old boy, no matter how mature he was expected to be, wouldn’t so easily forgive such a humiliation.

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 4

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in the fantasy world you had no recollection of, your memory was jogged after weeks of depression: this land was Middle-Earth. A council of wizards and Elves was summoned, and Thranduil expressed his wishes of wanting you gone. Elrond agreed to take you in and Gandalf was excited to share in his adventures with someone who knew nothing of the world, quite like a Hobbit, but you wanted to stay in Mirkwood, with Legolas and Tauriel, of which you'd made friends with. Legolas leaves in three days to locate the orcs who enroach upon Mirkwood's northern flank, and the council sees this as a chance for you to prove your worth. If you fail, you are to leave Mirkwood...

Chapter No.: Chapter 4

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: I want to thank all my readers for their feedback, likes, and reblogs! I'm only on Chapter 4 and all of you combined have made me feel really good about my writing. I've gotta admit, I was a little scared of going through with this multi-chapter fic at first, because while a few people really liked and enjoyed my stories on DeviantArt, they never got the reception The Art of Being an Eldar has. I just thought my writing sucked for the most part. Thank you all so much!

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, The fucking Silmarillion, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words. Rating: Teen (14+) for now

"You what?"

Apparently Leggy didn't comprehend the concept of being accompanied by a suddenly Elvish human from another dimension.

With a sigh and a roll of your eyes, you repeated, "I said, I'm coming with you when you leave for your orc-hunting mission."

Legolas narrowed his eyes. "And who gave you permission to do this?"

"The council, that's who. So suck it up buttercup, I'm coming with your sorry ass."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Very well. Tell me, aside from randomly swinging a sword, do you know anything about weaponry?"

You raised an eyebrow. Shit, you'd have to fight? "No, but I can say a mouthful of greetings in Elvish."

Legolas raised an eyebrow. "Nin ista, Sairen, but words are not mightier than fighting skill in battle."

You scoffed. "I can think of a pretty famous phrase from my world that totally contradicts that..."

Legolas shook his head as he sauntered past you, down the stairs of the bridge you'd found him on. The sounds of his bows and knife sheaths clanking together as he walked relaxed you. "Of course you do, mellon." He paused to look at you. "Are you not coming? We leave in three days. If you are intent on coming with me, surely you cannot believe I will let you go without even so much as learning the proper way to stab an opponent?"

You made a face, but followed him anyway. "I know how to stab."

"How, then?" He gestured to you pointedly and crossed his arms.

"Um..." You mimed the gesture you'd probably use while stabbing an orc in the guts. "Like... This? With a twist?"

"That may work if your enemy has the weak skin and flesh of a human, or even on an Elf," He pointed out, "But we are fighting orcs, Sairen. Their hide is as thick as that of a boar, and their flesh is equally so." With a flourish, he flipped out one of his long knives. He paused in handing it to you. "I am not letting you keep this, mellon. My mother gave them to me."

You froze in reaching for the weapon. "You have a mother?"

Legolas chuckled at your wide-eyed expression. "You thought I did not?"

You stiffened before hurriedly turning away. "No! Of course not! Why would you think that?!"

Legolas laughed as he followed you. "Well, I do have one. She has been away on the other end of the palace-city. I should introduce you to her."

"Is she as fabulous as your dad?" You ran the tip of your index finger along your eyebrows. "And maybe even with the same super dark eyebrows?"

Legolas smiled. "No, no. She is perfectly beautiful."

"So you're saying your dad's not?"

"What?"

"Nothing." You waved a hand. "Where's the training grounds again?"

Legolas grinned evilly. "Well, your training begins now, Sairen. See if you can actually get to said training grounds without killing yourself on that blade."

Your jaw fell. "Are you fucking kidding me?! That's child's play! Don't you think I already know how to not do that?!"

"That is a double negative sentence, but no, I do not believe you already know this skill." Blue-Eyes shot you another grin. "Besides, we are not taking the average path to the training grounds. They are outside of the palace, after all. We will go out and around, on the hardest path imaginable. For a human, they would be entirely impassable."

You stared up at him dumbly. "Uh... Do... Do you even realize I spent the last nineteen years of my life around people with the mindset of shit water I might die because I'm a-- I was a-- human? Also, I was never agile. I won't be able to make it over a log, if it's big enough."

Blue-Eyes gave you a disapproving look. "Do the humans of your world never traverse nature?"

You pretended to think about that

"Hm... Let me see... Uhm... Yeah, nope, pretty much never, unless you're one of those super outdoorsey kinds of people, and the true ones of those are rare. For instance, most usually wear really tight clothes and walk through parks with stone paths and everything primped to perfect condition so that nobody even gets grazed by a dandelion, and everything's sprayed to keep the bugs away and animals are limited to squirrels and bunnies, then they wanna act like they just walked the fuckin' Sahara Desert without water. Real outdoor people are rare. Steve Irwin? Real. Bear Grylls? Real. Josh Gates? Real. Hell, when I was a very tiny little girl I used to watch a kid's show with two brothers who pretty much lived in the jungle. But out of everybody, those are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head. Them, and the few tribal races still out there."

Blue-Eyes made a surprised face. "Well... I am glad you got a chance to experience what real life is like."

"Thank you, Blue-Eyes." You'd reached the front gates of the palace, which were opened by a couple of those ninja Elf guys. You and Legolas walked on through, and into the forest, with its pink and amber leaves, down here, nullified into black and gray, piling up in the muck of the forest floor.

You'd been surprised when you'd seen this part of Mirkwood. Apparently, only the northern half was unaffected, but the rest of the once-spectacular Greenwood the Great was now victim to a strange plague, orc attacks from the north, and giant spider infestations from the south, from an ancient ruin called Dol Goldur. Animals no longer lived here, the rivers had mostly gone thick with filth, and the trees rotted and groaned in agony. The forest would confuse you, threaten to swallow you up and make you lose your way...

If you weren't an Elf.

Luckily for you and ol' Leggy, the two of you were Elves, and he had been raised here. If you stuck close to him, you'd be fine, even if the forest did manage to confuse you. He could hardly remember a time when the slow-acting plague hadn't been part of some region of the forest, and Tauriel had told you that he was 2, 371 years old. That was a long time for a forest to be sick.

"What even caused Mirkwood to get sick? Do you even know?"

"It is a nameless malice," Blue-Eyes replied, stopping all show-offy on a thick, low-hanging bough that precariously hung over a small gorge. "The darkness stems from Dol Goldur. Now, there are rumors; rumors of a necromancer, who resides in the ruins of that ancient fort."

"Necromancer?" That hardly sounded good. In anything where it was used, necromancer usually meant one who raises dead. "That doesn't sound good. Have you investigated it?"

"Of course not," Blue-Eyes gave you an odd look, like you'd just suggested he drink out of the toilet or something. You struggled to get up the side of a log he'd just casually hopped onto. "Why should we? They are merely rumors, and the forest has been sick for a long, long while. Still... This darkness unsettles me, as it does to all Sindar whom reside here."

"Dude, then maybe you should check the fuckin ruins," You mumbled, but he ignored you and continued hopping around from flowertop to flowertop. You just trampled noisily and clumsily along behind him. "Don't you guys like, live for light? So shouldn't you see if the ruins really do have a necromancer now? Especially since this dark ooze comes from it?"

Blue-Eyes shook his head. "King Thranduil does not wish for time to be wasted on rumors when we have other matters to deal with."

"Oh, so you mean he's too busy having everybody vote on which crown of berries goes best with his eyebrows."

"What?"

"Nothing. You Elves are just stupid."

Legolas grinned. "Well, humans are equally intellectually challenged."

You paused in chasing after him, stunned. He turned to face you when he didn’t hear you following. "Did you seriously just do that?"

"Do what?"

"You literally just used big words to sound smart." You laughed theatrically. "Oh! Pardon me, fine companion, I meant to implicate that you utilize gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence."

He smiled slightly as you finally made it up beside him. "I suppose you are not so daft," He relented teasingly, "Otherwise you would not even have those words in your vocabulary."

You made a face and rolled your eyes. "Whatever, blondie."

The training grounds were closer than you remembered, even taking the roundabout route. Along the way, though, you'd fallen into a bog, got your face scratched up by evil tree branches, and tumbled head-over-heels down a steep ravine, getting battered and bruised all over your body.

Apparently Middle-Earth-- Mirkwood specifically-- was prone to give previously non-Elvish members of other worlds injuries.

You made quite a show; barreling through a thorn bush and landing flat on your face right on the edge of the training grounds. You heard all the Elves turn their weapons on you, in case you were an orc, but then they seen your sorry ass, and Leggy casually coming down the steep ridge as if it was just a flight of stairs.

"Mae govannen," Said Legolas cheerfully to the Elves. Casually, he picked up his knife, which you'd thrown away from you halfway down so you didn't impale yourself at any point during the fall. Still, it'd skittered down alongside you. "Sairen, it seems you've failed this test."

"I dropped it on the goddamn border..."

"Nevertheless," Blue-Eyes ignored your response. "We are here now, and forfeiting other forms of training for the sake of redoing one failed task is pointless. You will learn as much as you can here, until I say we stop."

You finally moved, trying to at least sit up on your elbows. "It's only noon. We've got till nightfall, yeah? I can do that. No problem."

Legolas grinned down at you. "Mellon, you are of the Eldar now. You are stronger than before and do not need sleep unless you wish to dream."

"I don't what?!"

"Elves do not sleep unless we have been injured and need to heal," He replied, and grabbed you by the underarms to help you up. "We are stronger and more resilient than the race of Men. You are no longer imprisoned by the necessities of the human body."

Instant headrush slammed into you. "Apparently not all human body shit..."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you speak of?"

"Headrush, dammit."

"Oh," He grew amused. "Do you mean the Blackness? Unfortunately, that befalls us all."

You glared daggers at him.

Another Elf approached, with a slender face and long brown hair. "My lord, most of the training grounds are taken up. You may yet have mine, if you wish so."

Legolas smiled. "Ah, my thanks. [Y/N], this is one of the Elves that accompanied Lord Elrond here, Lindir."

You extended your hand. "Nice to meet you."

Both Blue-Eyes and Lindir looked at your hand in confusion. Lindir, with a glance to Legolas, slowly tried to hand you his bow. With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you realized they didn't even understand what a handshake was. "No no no, sorry; that's called a handshake. It's what two people do when they meet each other where I come from. I didn't mean to confuse you. SO." You bowed in the Elvish way. "Mae govannen, Lindir of House Elrond."

Lindir and Blue-Eyes smiled. Lindir returned your bow. "Mae govannen, [Y/N] of House Thranduil."

"Lindir will be accompanying us to trace the orcs, and Erestor of Rivendell," Said Legolas, "As will another of our own house, Elros; I believe you have met him already. He was the Elf who lead you to the councilroom. From Lothlorien is a friend of mine, Haldir, and of course, with the other Elven Lords aiding us, Mithrandir feels he should send his own aid as well..."

Lindir's eyes widened. "Do not tell me..."

Blue-Eyes nodded seriously. "He is sending Naughrim to accompany us."

"Naughrim?" You asked. Of all names, that didn't sound familiar. "Who's that? Somebody not well-liked among Elves?"

Blue-Eyes fought a smile. Lindir answered you. "Mellon, Naughrim is our tongue for dwarves."

Your mouth formed an 'o' in recognition. "Ohhhh, now I get it. Elves and dwarves hate each other for no explainable reason. Got it. Who's he sending?"

Blue-Eyes shook his head in exasperation. "They are all of Erebor. Balin and Dwalin, two are named, and of the other, he is the most insufferable of dwarves; Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain. Mithrandir believes that this will be a good experience for him as it is for us, but he refuses to come himself. He's all but forcing the situation."

You looked from Blue-Eyes to Lindir and back. "How can he force you? Dwarves and Elves are both stubborn beyond all reason, and none of you seem to take him seriously."

Legolas shook his head and pursed his lips. "Unfortunately, Dwalin is as good a tracker as any, and Ada  is not permitting many of the Sindar on this journey for the reason that we are merely meant to find where the yrch dwell, and go no further. We will need all the aide we can find, even if it is in the form of unwilling dwarves. As for them, he has promised treasure, the details of which I know not; I can only hope it is not any of ours he has promised them." He smiled at you. "Shall we?"

Before you could follow, he walked off; you glanced to Lindir questioningly. "...Ada? Who's that?"

Lindir smiled softly. "It means father. He is referring to King Thranduil."

"Oh. Now I feel stupid."

"Do not, mellon, for the language of the Elves is not easily learned unless you were born speaking the tongue."

With a roll of your shoulders, which ached, you followed Leggy.

***

"Ow, goddamn it, and goddamn you, you stupidly perfect Elf."

At the end of the day, you'd been cut, pricked, whipped by a bowstring, nicked, dinged, and all kinds of other small injuries that added up to one big mess of drying blood and bruises.

Blue-Eyes had had you train deep into the night, until the silvery waning moon had all but left the star-filled sky. Now, as the sunrise approached, you both sat on two convenient boulders, and he bandaged your bloodied hands. In the eerie half-dawn light, he looked ethereal, and his pale hands and silver tunic sleeves compared to your now dark-with-blood-and-mud-and-bruises hands and black sleeves was a huge contrast. Your hands shook slightly, aching and stinging and pained on various sorts of levels, while his were perfectly steady as he wrapped them in soft green leaves.

"Stop shaking, mellon," Legolas told you gently.

"What was that?" Your head snapped up. "Are you feeling sorry for me? Don't feel sorry for me! This is nothing! I've been shot in the calf by an orcish arr--OW!"

The leaves had drawn too tight and released some kind of juice that stung like hell. His hands hovered over yours. "My apologies, but it draws out the infection."

"What infection?!"

"You are not yet used to your Elven body yet," Blue-Eyes replied, looking into your eyes. "Since you are the equivalent of a newborn, I would say you are very susceptible to infections, sickness, and injuries."

You looked off dramatically into the distance. "That explains why I can't stop fucking getting hurt..."

"That it does," He smiled at you, and something pulsed in your chest. Da fuck... You fought a flush. He stood, then held out his hand to you. "Shall we return to the palace? You may rest until sunhigh, and then we will continue your training." You took his hand, and he helped you up; you stumbled into his chest, and backed up quickly. He took no notice, but patted your shoulder before going to retrieve his bow and quiver. "You did well today, Sairen, even if you frightened off half of the other Sindar and Silvan training here."

You made a face. "Pfft. They just can't handle my awesomeness."

"If you say so, mellon," He said, and started to take the easy way back, to your relief. You followed closely behind him.

You looked up at the stars as you walked in silence for awhile, until finally, you broke it. Of course, you broke anything, really... "Where I come from, they say there's a star for every soul that's passed away."

Legolas glanced to you, then followed your gaze wistfully. "That is something our two worlds have in common."

"Scientifically," You added, "They're spheres of hot air and gaseous materials wound up tight by gravity that glow and put off heat, but the idea always felt nice to me... But where I come from... You also can't see the stars."

Blue-Eyes halted in his tracks as if you'd just said someone murdered his mother. "I... What? You can't see the stars?!" He actually looked genuinely horrified by that idea.

You shook your head. "No. Humans... They've polluted the atmosphere too much. Filled it with trash, and man-made lights and even remnants of smoke... You can't see them."

He watched you even as you watched the stars. "I've never seen them like this... They're beautiful." You could see bands of galaxies and clouds of distant nebulae, and the small silver fires glittered in the billions, even as the pink-orange glow of the beginning of dawn was starting to show in the east. You were in awe.

You jumped when Legolas took your hand. "What?"

He smiled at you. "Come with me. I will show you one of the best stargazing places in all of Mirkwood."

"Thranduil's pavilion?"

"Better."

"Whoa. Dude, count me in."

He lead you off of the trail, deep into the woods, through the easiest ways that probably were a pain for him, but he did it anyway. Finally, you stopped at the base of a massive tree, stretching so far up you couldn't see its top. Its trunk was pockmarked with holes and vines, and after slinging his bow onto his back, he threw you a smile over his smile. "Come, Sairen."

You couldn't help but smile back. You climbed, quickly, all the way up, past the canopy, into the uppermost branches of the tree, where the copper-gold leaves thinned out to allow for one thick branch to get a view of the night sky. The branch was thick enough across to allow for two or three people to sit side-by-side against the trunk, and Blue-Eyes sat quickly as he helped you up.

Here, no branches obscured any part of your field of view. You got a perfect view of the sunrise, and the starry sky. "Holy shit..."

You felt him put an arm around you, and you stiffened, just before he breathed in your ear, "I will not let you fall from this tree, Sairen. You've only just arrived in this world, and should another portal be below that is activated by a beautiful sunrise, I am loathe to let you go, for there is so much I want to show you..." The sun burst over the distant mountains beyond Erebor, sending fiery orange and red across the sky. "Such as this. Your world does not sound as if it could have any sunrise as wonderful as this one."

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest as you watched the sunrise, jaw slack. "No... Not like this."

Legolas smiled, and finally turned his focus to it himself. Your eyes slowly dragged off of the beautiful scenery to look at the Elf beside you, and the warm feeling worsened; your heart started fluttering. Eldar only fall in love once... Galadriel had warned you.

...Shit.

A blush crawled up your face, and you tried your hardest to focus on the sky rather than the Elvish princeling pressed close against your side.

***

"Mae govannen, [Y/N] of the Woodland Realm," Greeted Lindir kindly as you approached the group of Elves gathering in front of the front gates.

"Mae govannen, Lindir of Rivendell," You replied with a smile. The Elvish greetings rolled off your tongue easily now. After the sunrise you and Blue-Eyes had watched together, you'd spent the last two days training at obscene hours and resting. Now, finally, the group of Elves leaving to track the orcs were gathering-- there were only about fifty in total, of which there were those wearing Woodland garments, the red-and-gold of Lothlorien, and the greens, purples, and browns of Rivendell. Apparently Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond didn't agree with Thranduil sending what would've only been a dozen to track some very dangerous orcs.

You heard several of them muttering to each other about Naughrim, something all of them had in common.

You swung your light traveling pack off of your shoulders and by your feet, scanning the crowd for a certain platinum-blonde head-- unfortunately, most of the Elves from Lothlorien had blonde hair. You looked at Lindir. "Where's Legolas?"

Lindir glanced around. "He is on his way, I am sure. After all, it is he and Haldir whom are leading this journey."

You nodded. "I've never packed for something like this before... I hope I didn't pack anything weird or forget something."

Lindir looked confused, then recognition flashed across his face. "Oh. Forgive me, I had forgotten you do not have this experience. Tell me, what did you pack?"

You shifted your weight nervously, and lowered your voice. "Uhh... Two extra pairs of clothes in case these get ruined, some extra food, even though I've noticed I don't have to eat as much as before, and some water. Then there's these," You gestured to your back, where a quiver and longbow hung from your back. You felt its weight all too strongly, and that of the sword on your hip and the knives on your thighs. "And some of those special leaves that're used for bandages."

Lindir smiled and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Mellon, you have packed what we all have, and lightly, as well."

You smiled. "Thanks. Just consider yourself lucky that I don't know how to read Elvish, or I would've packed a book or two to keep me company."

Lindir chuckled and stepped back. "Well, for now, I am glad of it. On this journey you will learn much, hopefully, and by the time we return, you may be able to speak more of Elvish. It is harder to learn to read it, I have heard, much harder."

You ran a finger over your chin in thought. "I wonder if Thranduil would let me go to Dale or Laketown to get some books in English..."

"Forgive me," Lindir looked confused. "I do not know what that is."

You realized what you'd said a second too late. "Oh! Sorry. Where I come from, Common is just referred to as English."

"Oh, I see now. I am sure he would, and if he does not yet, then perhaps one of the Woodland Elves could bring some back for you. What of Legolas? Are you not friends?"

You blushed. "Yeah, I hope so. I've never been very good at making friends, though. Nobody's ever really liked me." You realized Lindir was staring at you with an absolutely terrified expression. Your own eyes widened in alarm, and you frantically patted your face. "What?! Is there something on my face?!"

Lindir shook his head. "I-I am not sure. Your skin has suddenly gone red, as if burned. Are you ill?"

"Uhhh..."

You were spared the embarrassment of explaining blushing by all the Elves gathered suddenly gasping and bowing in the direction of the stairs. Lindir saw the cause before you did, and his jaw fell. "By all the Valar..." He bowed deeply, and you followed his motion, but not before catching a glimpse of who it was. Thranduil, of course, and Legolas, following a she-Elf in a tunic that looked as if it were made of starlight itself, with flowing white hair and alabaster skin.

"Ui!" Shouted Thranduil irritably. "Ni telima lume, autauva!"

You leaned closer to Lindir. "What did he say?"

"He is forbidding her to join us," He answered quickly.

The she-Elf whipped around, generating a power almost as strong as Galadriel's. Legolas stepped forward. "Amal... Mecin."

She shook her head. "Yon, venno, nin carindo ier nin indo. Alye uva pusta ni."

"What did she say about pasta?" You whispered.

"Sh!" Lindir said quickly.

The woman looked at Thranduil and Legolas lovingly, before approaching Thranduil and placing both hands on his face. Thranduil closed his eyes in regret, and the woman kissed him; you looked away, embarrassed. That was the Elvenqueen.

That was Legolas's mother.

"Melinyel, Thranduil, alye ista si."

Thranduil sighed. "Melinyel, mela... Mecin ea girthonwed."

With that, Legolas reluctantly took his mother's hand and lead her down the stairs. They disappeared in the crowd, until you heard the Elvenqueen's voice. "Rise, all of you." Unsure, the Elves rose one-by-one. "Which of you hail from far places, whom rescued my son Legolas Greenleaf from the fate of an early death?"

The Eldar glanced to one another, realized it wasn't their neighbor, and slowly, like somebody who'd gotten called out in class, you were being stared at, and a path was made between you and her majesty, while Legolas stood beside her.

You swallowed hard, suddenly terrified. Lindir patted your shoulder. "You have been summoned, mellon. Go, I will make sure your pack does not get swapped with someone else's."

You tried to look and walk confidently, but you were terrified. She was beautiful and indimidating, and you had to admit, you were definitely intimidated. When you reached her, you bowed as deeply and respectfully as you could, a fist over your heart. "Elen sila lumenn omentielvo, your majesty." You didn't know what else to say. What you'd said to Galadriel and Celeborn was the most respectful thing you knew in Elvish, and you'd never been in the presence of royalty.

"You come from another world," She looked down at you indifferently, and you suddenly felt very small and very weak with everybody's eyes on you. This was nothing like Thranduil's fabulously indifferent look. "Yet still, you saved my son's life. After, you make the presumption that you can live and walk among us as one of us, freely, unburdened, merely because you came here by happenstance and you were allowed the reward of living. Do you feel as if this is the correct course of action for you to take?"

You glanced to Legolas, absolutely horrified. "Y-your majesty..." Your hot-headed tongue, a lot more toned down, popped into existence. "I saved your son's life because he didn't deserve to die. I was given the freedom to live, and to repay that, I mean to make the most of my time here by helping in whatever ways that I can. King Thranduil has given me the chance to prove myself worthy of living here by allowing me to join in hunting for the orcs. If I fail, I will leave Mirkwood, and go with Lord Elrond to Rivendell."

Legolas's eyes widened a fraction of an inch, before going back to their normal selves; he looked to you with almost a sadness, but you couldn't figure out why. Elvenqueen smiled, as if proud. "Then you are not what the rumours of your world have made you out to be. You are humble and grateful, qualities I did not expect from one of this Earth. You possess a unique personality, [Y/N]. Tell me, who are your parents, so that I may refer to you properly?"

"I have no father," You said quickly, relieved that she was just trying to scare you. "None I care to speak about. But I do have a mother, who I love very much. Her name is [M/N]."

Elvenqueen smiled. "Very well, [Y/N], child of [M/N]. Here, we, all of us, have a secondary name, such as my son; Legolas Greenleaf. During this journey, you may earn your own."

You smiled back, relieved beyond relief that she'd decided not to kick your ass for existing. "My thanks, your majesty."

She sailed away regally, and Legolas shot you a glare. "Why did you not tell me you would be leaving us?" He demanded.

You balked. "I-I said if I failed..."

"And you are most likely to do so," He snapped, sending your heart and soul plummeting to roughly the center of Middle-Earth. Without another word, he followed his mother.

"Mellon?" Said Lindir from behind. You turned around; He held his bag and yours, which you gratefully took from him.

"Thanks," You said, but your eyes followed Legolas's back as he disappeared into the crowd.

"Is everything alright?"

"Just fine," You shrugged. You were used to being abandoned.

Lindir looked doubtful. "Very well, if you say so. May I introduce you to those you will be most judged by?"

"Sure."

He took you through the crowd, to the guy who helped you find the councilroom. "Ah, [Y/N]. Mae govannen."

You bowed your head and returned the greeting to Elros in a monotone voice. "So your name is Elros?"

"Yes," He replied. "Son of Elrond."

If you were taking a drink of water, you'd've spewed it everywhere. "Huh? But isn't Rivdendell like, waaay over the Misty Mountains?"

Elros chuckled. "Yes, but those of the Eldar cannot always remain in one place. We yearn for far places, and even farther shores. Long years I have spent in the halls of my father, but I left for Mirkwood when my sister, Arwen Evenstar, left for Lothlorien, to spend a time with our mother's mother, Galadriel."

Your eyes were wide. "Galadriel is a grandma?! Your grandma?!"

Lindir and Elros looked at each other in amusement. "Elves," Said Lindir, "Live forever, so long as we are not killed by injury, or the wounds of the heart."

"Wounds of the heart?" You echoed.

"When love remains unrequited, it is sometimes too much to bear," Replied Elros, "And the victim suffers long before dying of a broken heart. Oftentimes, it is when a wife perishes during childbirth, or when war or battle takes the life of a beloved, and their souls pass into the Halls of Mandos. I still worry for my father, even though my mother has long since passed due to child-sickness."

Your eyes widened. "I'm so sorry."

Elros raised a hand. "She is at peace now. She resides in the halls where her mother lives, and many of my kin who have long since passed on."

"Is Elrond gonna be okay?" Now you were worried. You didn't even know the guy (Even though you probably knew him before your amnesia.) but you didn't want him to die of heartbreak. He was being nice to you, and offering you a place to live if Thranduil decided to be more of an ass.

"He is strong," Lindir assured you, and partially Elros. "He is stout of heart and fierce of soul. He will live long yet, that I can assure you with the utmost certainty."

Together, Lindir and Elros took you to where another dark-haired Elf in the Rivendell attire spoke with a Lothlorien Elf in red-and-gold armor. White hair was braided away from his stern face. Elros said something in Elvish, getting their attention, and they both bowed to you. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], may I introduce you to Erestor, Chief Counselman of Elrond, and Haldir of Lothlorien."

"Mae govannen," They both said.

Haldir regarded you warily. "I have heard you come from far lands, one beyond even Arda."

You tried not to look stupid. "Arda?"

"This world upon which we live," Haldir clarified.

"Oh!" Now you knew what they were talking about. "You mean this whole planet? Mine never had a cool name; Earth, that's it, with a bunch of different countries on it. Are there countries besides Middle-Earth here?"

Erestor chuckled. "Yes. There is Beleriand, just the remains of it, to the farthest west. Also in the west lie the Gray Havens, and across the Sea are the Undying Lands of Aman, far from Endor-- that is to say, collectively, Middle-Earth and Beleriand."

"Oh, cool! Where I come from, nowhere has cool names anymore, except for maybe Dubai, Greece, and Rome. In the past, there were hardly ever cool places, except for Egypt and Babylon."

The four Elves around you glanced to each other in amusement, as if you were a child just learning new things; and you pretty much were...

"Haldir," Said a familiar voice, and you perked up as Blue-Eyes stepped through the crowd. Your heart sank as he completely avoided your gaze. Damn, you should be used to this kinda shit by now. One small thing and someone abandons you. "We go to meet the dwarves. You have told your party, yes?"

"Of course, mellon."

"As have I," Added Erestor as Blue-Eyes went to ask. "None of us may like this, but it the word of a Maiar, of which the Noldor still yet revere. Worry not, Legolas."

Blue-Eyes nodded, glanced to you, and walked back through the suddenly-departing crowd as the doors opened. You hefted up your bag further onto your shoulder. "Mmkay, Lindir?" You fell into step with the purple-clad Elf.

"What is it?"

"Questions. Lots of them. What the hell is a Mayan and a No-door?"

Lindir chuckled. "Maiar, and Noldor. The Noldor are the oldest of the Elves. The Maiar are wizards, servants of the Valar; such as Saruman, Mithrandir, and Radagast."

"They met gods?"

"Yes," Said Lindir doubtfully, eyeing you. "Do the people of your world not know of their gods?"

You scoffed dryly. "You kidding me? Almost everybody believes in some bearded guy in white floating through existence and pointing to a random spot, then saying 'Let there be light!' Bam, universe created. Others have much more gruesome stories; like in Norse, Odin and his two brothers cut up a giant to create the world. Then there was Egyptian, where two godly people representing the earth and sky consummated and BAM, universe created again. They all say the gods came from the sky, which others believe to be aliens-- people from other planets entirely-- but I've always been an atheist."

"And what does that mean?"

"That I don't believe a goddamn word of any of that 'god' shit."

"You should not speak of them so, for they hear all."

"Yuck. Let's hope they don't find somebody on their wedding night."

Lindir's eyes bugged out of his head. "That was... Sudden."

You grinned. "I'm like that. Get used to it, Lindy."

He frowned. "My name is Lindir."

"I know that," You laughed. "It's a nickname. It's a sign of friendship."

Lindir smiled. "Oh. Then we are friends, then?"

"Sure! I've never been friends with so many people before!" You looked ahead excitedly, waving when you seen Legolas glaring at you. So what if he was pissed? You'd make him un-pissed.

Lindir gave you a sad look. "But you have only befriended Legolas and myself."

"And Tauriel."

"Still, that is only three people." He looked genuinely confused. "Do the people of your world not believe in friendship either?"

You sighed. "Not really. They're more interested in betrayal. Me, personally, I've had it all. Betrayal, death, abandonment... I've gone through some shitty times, that's for sure. One catastrophe after the next. One painful step at a time through it. I've been through hell and back, been shattered like glass and looked death in the eye, and somehow, I'm still standing. Sometimes it feels like I've lived a thousand lifetimes in only nineteen years." You gave him a sideways smile before looking back ahead of you, trying to block all of the flashbacks...

Lindir regarded you with newfound admiration. "I can... See it, in your eyes. I believe all of us can. The things that you have endured are marked on your stride, and not many could recover from what you have recently gone through so quickly. A human with your strength is... Unheard of."

You laughed. "Yeah, 'cause now I'm an Elf!"

Lindir laughed too then, as did a few other Elves and she-Elves near to you-- as you walked out of the doors of Mirkwood's palace, you got this strange, tingly sensation in your core... The odd feeling of people laughing with you, not at you. The feeling of not being judged. Of people realizing you've been through hell. Of people not automatically striking you onto their enemy list because you're different.

As you moved into the north, the light filtering through the leaves was golden, and everything seemed at once surreal and ethereal. But aside from those two feelings, you felt one stronger than any other. You smiled as you looked around at your new friends in this new world, which still felt so familiar. You were happier than you'd ever been. Even though you'd miss your family, you were glad the portal had been closed.

And there are many paths to tread...

Through shadow, to the edge of night...

Until the stars are all alight...

You passed Blue-Eyes, who'd climbed a tree to scout, and when he seen your awestruck, childlike expression, even he, who was currently pissed at you, couldn't help but smile at down at you. You smiled back. That warm feeling returned.

Finally, I'm where I belong.

I'm...

I’m...home.

Tag List: @tesserphantom​ @thedragonghostofmordor​ @hauntedsiriel​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @naryamirie​ @legolasdeserveslove​ @escapingthoughtsandsecrets​ @sagabriar​ @brushwood-souls​ @taurlel​

If anybody wants to be tagged, just let me know!

Extra Notes: Elvish is SO FUCKING HARD. And yes I put the Elvenqueen in this. And dwarves are inbound. Don't guess the plotline, just DON'T.

Fun Facts: In Old Nordic mythology, there was a forest known as Mirkwood. There was also a dwarf called Durin, who created the line of the most power dwarfs, some of which, just to name a few, were Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dvalin, Balin, Oin, Oakenshield, and Gandalf. There were also many types of Elves-- Ljosalfar were the Light Elves, and Dokkalfar were the Dark Elves. In general, Elves were known as Alfar, and they lived in Alfheimr, "The Land of the Elves." Supposedly, Alfheimr had shining trees of silver and gold, like Lothlorien. Also, there was a dragon called Fafnir, a cursed fire-drake, coppery-red, who laid atop a mound of gold and guarded his wrongfully-taken treasure with his life. The original owner of this treasure was a dwarf, reduced to a husk of his former self, called Andvari, who, out of all of this treasure, loved most a golden ring, inscribed with runes. He cursed this ring, so that all who wore it would soon come into misfortune...

[kyluxnichekinks]

Kylux Werewolves and Shapeshifters Rec List

Ah yes, two of my favorite themes: Werewolves and shapeshifters. Those who know me in this fandom know me for being a complete and utter monsterfucker. I was very excited to do this rec list and could hardly wait until the end of the month to finally post this. But we’re here, so let’s get started!

The Smoke Before The Flames by @solohux​ Words: 7234 Completed Armitage Hux is the sacrfice to be made to keep the dragon from burning down his village, but the dragon is not what he expected.

Starting off with the general shapeshifter category is this lovely gem! Dragon!Kylo and not so virginal!Hux! This was a very fun and enjoyable read for me, so I advise you check it out.

Witchfeather by Whatever21ism  Words: 16015 WIP Armitage Hux is a new witch trying to establish himself in a new town. One day he goes out seeking a familiar, particularly a cat, somehow instead he ends up with a raven who is much more than they appear to be.

Witch Hux and raven!Kylo. It’s been a fresh second since I’ve read this fic but it was very enjoyable from what I remember. I may have to give it another reread sometime soon.

Shiver The Whole Night Through by @theweddingofthefoxes​ Words: 7977 Completed Ren's always loved hunting, so when he's told his paid time off won't roll over into the next year, he decides to take a week, get his gun and rent a cabin in the woods. But it takes no time at all for the hunter to become the hunted.

This one is a perfect Halloween fic honestly. I remember the atmosphere was very spooky and intrigueing to read. Mind the tags of course but give it a read if you can!

Dark Side of the Moon by @furrygeneralhux Words: 7906 WIP This was not happening to Hux. He was not shifting into a giant maned wolf on the night of his date with Kylo Ren. Absolutely not, this was some sort of terrible dream. But why did it feel so real?

A shameless self rec, but it’s a werewolf Hux fanfic! Specifically he’s a Maned Wolf, aka a long leggy boy. I just posted Chapter 2 for this, so if you can tolerate the tags, give it a read!

Twenty-Six Weeks by @vmprsm​ Works: 4 Completed: Says no but I’m pretty sure it is Two mature adults need to do two things: live an a house with a stranger for six months, and keep their secrets to themselves. How hard could that be? Apparently very.

Yes I’m gonna rec this again, I very much enjoyed this series from vmp (along with everything she generally writes). Give it a read if you haven’t yet!

You Big Bad Wolf by @insanitysqueen Words: 12780 Completed Hux meets an interesting person online. They chat, having the same kind of kinks and this 'REN' has a truly artful way of composing dirty messages, but never lets go of that werewolf-persona from when they first began to talk. Though Hux doesn't feel intimidated enough to turn down the invitation to this gorgeous strangers home. Especially during a weekend where the full moon will be shining.

I absolutely loved this fic. I can see it happening so easily, and honestly Hux is such a mood.

Dream-Maker by @unicornsandbutane Words: 7979 Completed Response to this kyluxhardkinks prompt: “Modern AU, Hux has just found out that werewolves are a real thing and that his boyfriend, Kylo, is one of them. Having a sexual attraction to monsters, Hux is all for this and practically begs Kylo to fuck and knot him on that huge werewolf dick. Bonus points if Ren comes buckets in his werewolf form and involves breeding.”

This hardkinks prompt was a godsend I swear, I was so thrilled when a bunch of fics came out all around the same time and were all unique in their own ways. This one like the rest on this list was amazing and I highly suggest you give it a read!

Silent in the Trees by @werewolf-kylo-ren​ Words: 33291 WIP Hux has inherited one of his late father's estates, way out in the country. He's going through all of the organizing, contemplating what the hell to do with all of the mess, contemplating if he even WANTS the estate... It's hard enough as it is, without a lonely and very childish werewolf venturing out of the nearby woods, his backstory a mystery to be solved. A story of love, murder, werewolves, and ANGST.

Ah yes, one of the first examples of werewolf sex that I can recall occurring in Kylux (I could be wrong but this left an impression on my furry heart ok). Do mind the tags on this one, but its defs worth the read!

Fang & Bang by @sparrowlicious​ Words: 10680 Completed Armitage Hux is an ancient vampire who tries to live his life as a good citizen. Kylo Ren is his werewolf neighbor who caught his eye shortly after he moved in two months ago.

One night during a full moon Kylo Ren ends up on Hux's couch uninvited. Hux sees it as an opportunity to get to know him better...

Something about werewolfKylo and vampireHux fics get me. This one is really cute and enjoyable, give it a read!

Pounded in the Butt by My Gay Werewolf Boyfriend by @aiambia Words: 5553 Completed Hux can hardly believe it: His boyfriend is a werewolf. He should be afraid or concerned at the very least...but all he can think about is getting fucked by that thick werewolf dick.

Look you can’t read the title of this fic and not read it. Honestly I’m a big fan of aiambia’s writing, its so enjoyable to read. This one was particularly delicious to read, thanks for posting it aiambia!

If there’s a fic I didn’t include that you think I should include, let me know!

[sofreakinmanyfandoms]

The Nice Guy - Clint Barton X Reader college!AU - 1/6

I don’t remember if it was @rogue-barnes-16 or @cryforfandoms who inspired this, but it was one of them. Plus, I’m having so much fun writing Clint in NCNR, and also I’m sick of the trope of unrequited love actually being requited. (You’ll find out as you read it.) So, here you go. My first Clint Barton fic.

EDIT: I apparently accidentally removed the “keep reading” before posting. Sorry to everyone who found that before I fixed it.

Word count: 1453

Warnings: Mild angst. A tiny bit of commentary on my opinion of the traditional idea of masculinity. 

The small party was in full swing when you arrived at Clint and Natasha’s new place. They had used Christmas break to move into their off-campus apartment and had invited your core friend group over for a New Year’s Eve bash.

The three of you had grown up together, and although your friend group had expanded once you were in college, you were still each other’s best friends. They had invited you to join them when the apartment hunt had started, but you’d just been upgraded to a solo apartment at your residence hall and were looking forward to not having roommates for once in your life.

“Hey, there she is!” Sam called out as you entered. “Riley! Your girl’s here!”

Your boyfriend, Sam’s roommate Riley, emerged from around the corner.

“Hey baby,” he greeted you, leaning in to give you a kiss and taking the grocery bags from your hand. “What did you bring?”

“Three bags each of nacho cheese and cool ranch Doritos for us normal people,” you grinned, pulling out a yellow bag. “And, of course, one bag of plain Doritos for the weirdo.”

“I heard that,” Clint said, swooping in from somewhere to grab them from you. “I’d be mad, but I’ve been seriously craving nachos all day. Thanks, Y/N.” He shoved a few dollar bills in your hand and bolted for the kitchen.

“Y/N, can you make sure he doesn’t light our new microwave on fire?” Nat called to you from living room. “He forgot to take the plastic off one of them last time.”

You winced and called back your agreement, giving Riley a peck on the cheek before following Clint.

“I can’t believe you can actually crave nachos with a recipe like that,” you teased Clint as you entered the kitchen.

He looked up at you from where he was peeling the plastic off squares of American cheese. “Says the lactose intolerant chic who wouldn’t know good nachos if they did the salsa in front of her. I don’t know how you stand that vegan cheese stuff.”

“At least I’m not dropping sandwich squares of cheap cheese on a plate of boring chips,” you shot back. “Have you ever considered, I don’t know, adding something with flavor? Taco meat, or salsa, or something? Heck, even flavored Doritos would make that stuff better.”

Clint dropped his plate in the microwave and shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with simple. Besides, I’m in college; I’m taking advantage of the expectation I won’t know how to cook. I have to learn enough stuff in class already, so no way am I trying to cram more kitchen info into my brain when I can survive just fine on this stuff.”

You sighed and shook your head. “You’re hopeless, Barton, you know that?”

“And you love me anyway,” he grinned, dropping an arm around your shoulders.

“Whatever lets you sleep at night,” you laughed, shrugging off his shoulder and wandering back out to the party.

Clint watched you leave and sighed. Having you and your boyfriend hanging off each other in his apartment was going to test his self-control all night. This was going to be a long party.

---------- 

You settled in next to Nat, who was curled up in her boyfriend Bucky’s lap. He was talking to Sam and Riley, leaving her free to converse with you.

“How are you two enjoying the new apartment so far?”

“It’s so nice being off-campus,” she admitted. “Clint’s a great roommate, too, when he’s not melting plastic in the microwave. Are you enjoying living alone?”

“Gosh, yes,” you sighed, “it’s perfect. No one leaves dishes in the sink overnight or their coat on the couch.”

She laughed and shook her head. “You always were a bit of a neat freak.”

“Hey, Nat?” Bucky shot you a look of apology as he cut into your conversation. “Can I get up, doll? I’d like to go with the guys who are picking up some pizza.”

Nat pouted at him, but you could see the smile she was trying to hide. “But I’m comfy,” she whined.

“If all the guys all go, we’ll get a few minutes of girl time,” you offered.

Bucky gave you a grateful smile when Natasha sighed and stood up. He, Sam, and Riley gathered their coats as Steve came up with his car keys.

“Hey, Barton, wanna join us?” Sam called. “We’re gonna go get pizzas and drinks. The girls are staying here to do who knows what girly stuff. We’ve got one more seat in the car.”

“Nah,” Clint said as he came around the corner, nachos in hand. “I’m gonna stay and finish these.”

“He’s practically one of the girls anyway,” Nat teased. “It can still be a girl’s night.”

Riley leaned over and kissed you on the cheek. “We’ll be back in an hour, baby.”

“All right,” you smiled up at him, “see you then.”

----------- 

“What the hell?”

At Sam’s exclamation, the three of you looked up at the guys who had just tromped in with the pizzas and a few cases of soda.

“What?” Clint asked innocently.

You and Natasha were seated on the floor facing each other, painting each other’s toenails. Clint’s were already finished; he was leaning his back against the couch and reading an article from the latest issue of Us Weekly aloud as they dried.

Sam gave his feet a pointed look. “Your toenails are hot pink.”

“The color,” Clint informed him, “is called Bachelorette Bash. Nat’s are Russian Roulette and Y/N’s are Loot the Booty.”

Riley made a choking sound. You shot him a glare.

“Pirate booty, Babe. Treasure. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Man,” Sam shook his head, “you’re crazy.”

“Told you he was practically one of us,” Nat laughed.

You grinned up at your boyfriend. “I’d be happy to do yours next.”

“I think I’ll pass,” he said with a smile, bending over to kiss you on the top of your head. “Maybe Sam’ll take you up on the offer.”

“Like hell I will,” Sam muttered, drawing a laugh from his roommate.

“I’ll take mine in mint green,” Bucky announced, flopping down on the couch.

Nat blew on your toes as she finished the last one and reached for a bottle of base coat. “Do you mean Chillato, Mint Candy Apple, or Bon Boy-age?”

“The first one.”

“Dibs on…” Steve scooped up a bottle and read the color title, “Leggy Legend.”

“Shoes and socks off,” you laughed as you took the bottle from him. “Do you want base and top coat too, or just the polish?”

He looked at you like you were crazy. “Duh, base and top coat too! Gotta help that color last as long as possible.”

Sam shot a look at Riley. “We’re surrounded by crazies.”

“It’s just polish,” Bucky scoffed. “It’s not like having colorful toenails puts your manhood in jeopardy.”

“You could learn a thing or two from us,” Clint said with a nod. “We have attractive women fussing over our feet.”

“If you’re concerned about people seeing the color, I have some nearly invisible sheer polish you’re welcome to use,” Nat informed them, finishing the basecoat on Bucky’s second foot. “It doesn’t even have a girly name.”

“Shine makes your nails look healthier,” Steve teased.

“I’m good, really,” Sam insisted with a shake of his head.

“Same,” Riley agreed.

The two of them passed around sodas and slices of pizza to those who were stuck in place while their toenails dried. By the time the ball dropped on TV, everyone’s polish was dry and people had resituated themselves around the room.

“You know, we’re in New York,” Steve remarked dryly. “We could’ve gone to see the ball drop in person.”

“Yes, but the apartment is warmer,” Clint pointed out.

“Touché.”

The singles in the room cheered as the ball dropped, while the two couples kissed.

“Happy New Year, Baby,” Riley whispered.

You smiled back. “Happy New Year.”

---------- 

Well, that could have gone worse, Clint told himself as he lay in bed, the party long over. He’d gotten an hour with you and Natasha without Riley around kissing you every few minutes. He’d had to glue his eyes to the TV for your New Year’s kiss, but as hard as it had been to see you happy with someone else, he did like to see you happy. Maybe if he hadn’t been a coward through high school, you’d be happy with him instead.

He rolled over and curled himself around his extra pillow. As he slept, thoughts of you kept drifting through his head. Your smile, your laugh, the way you lit up at his stupid jokes….

Yeah, he definitely had it bad.

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Thirty-Four

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

I don’t have a masterlist for this fic yet but if you go to tags and choose Too Hot To Handle, it will pull them all up. Thanks!

Aria was interviewing new sous chefs while Javier was on vacation. She hadn't told him yet but she was going to promote him to executive chef so she could focus on her second restaurant. Plans were steam rolling ahead and the location was already under construction. She'd begun planning the menu and decor but she needed more time. Cooking five to six days a week plus everything else and finding time to spend with Jeffrey left Aria drained beyond empty. She'd already interviewed and tasted the food of one applicant and was watching her second cook when her phone vibrated. "Keep going, I've got to answer this." "Yes, chef." She smirked at the instant reply and added it to the pros column she'd formed for the young man. "Hey you." She answered, her back turning to the cook as she spoke to Jeffrey. "Hello, beautiful." Jeffrey rasped, his voice rough from speaking all day. "Goddamn it's good to hear your voice, sweetpea. I'm missing you." "Mmm. I'm missing you too, handsome." Aria purred, her lip bitten tightly as he growled deeply. "Fuck, baby girl. I would give my left arm to be with you right now." Chuckling, Aria glanced back at the applicant, his hands chopping through a pile of potatoes showing off his dicing skills. "Probably not, I'm interviewing a sous-chef." "You tell Javier yet?" "No. I wanted him to enjoy his vacation and not stress out." "Yeah because he won't be able to have a day off, for the rest of his life now." Snorting, Aria quipped, "exactly." "Well I'll just let you go." "No." She blurted, her cheeks blushing at her exclamation. Jeffrey chuckled and teased, "Easy doll, I was just kidding. "Good because I wanna listen to you talk more." "Mmm. Is my hoarse voice wettin' your whistle, baby girl." He grumbled lazily, the smirk evident in his tone. "Am I getting those teeny, tiny panties all damp?"

"Yeah." She sighed, chewing her lip and watching the young man reducing the sauce for the dish he was creating from her recipe. "Hot damn, what color are they?” "Red." "Oooh. Those little things? Fuck I wanna peel those off with my teeth." He rasped, his gruff words followed by a moan. She could picture his hooded eyes and sly grin the man probably sported, his hand buried in his boxers. "That would be... amazing." "Yeah, it would. Fuck, I bet you'd taste all sweet. I'd bury my tongue as deep as I could to get to the source, baby girl." "Jeff." She gasped. "Gettin' real wet huh, sweetpea?" He teased. "Fuck I'm harder than a damn rock, baby. I'm gonna have to tug one out thinking about you right now." "I swear to god." She muttered, her eyes flicking to the cook who was finishing his plating. "We're gonna have to pick this up later." "Damn cock block, baby." "I'm sorry, handsome." "Fucking later, doll." He growled deeply, "I wanna see those wet panties."

"Thanks for coming in Johnathon. I'll be in touch." Aria shook his hand and unlocked the door to let him out. Just as she was about to lock it back up, Javier came striding up with a scowl. "What the fuck, Ari?" He growled, pointing at the direction the other sous chef left. "Why is that hack here, huh?" Sighing, she pulled him inside and shut the door behind him, twisting the lock. "What're you doing here? You're on vacation." "Is this why you pushed me to go on one? To find my replacement? You could just have the balls to tell me I’m fucking fired." He snarled. Aria barked out a laugh, which awarded her a heated glare. "Javie. God you're a jackass. I'm not firing you." "Well who, Dee?" "No ones fired. Fucking hell, I need a drink." She huffed, heading to the bar and popped open a bottle of red wine. "Let's sit and talk." "Ari-." "Sit. Down." She huffed, plopping down and pouring them each a glass. Once he'd taken a large gulp, Aria began detailing the project she'd been working on. "You're not fired, you're being promoted." "What?" "I'm opening a new place and I want you to be executive chef here, while I deal with the new kitchen." Javier stared at her moment before drinking the rest of his wine in one go. She smirked as she watched him let the information sink in. "I didn't tell you because I wasn't completely sure it would work out. Then I wanted you to relax on your vacation so I was going to tell you once you got back." "But... how... wait, I'm going to be-?" "You'll be in charge of the kitchen here. I'm going to hire a couple restaurant managers to help with all the shit I normally do and I'll be here a few times a week to make sure everything's good. The kitchen though, you'll be running it. I'm going to get you a new sous chef and Dee will be your second in command." "Holy shit." He muttered before a slow grin spread across his face. "Are you sure?" "Very." "Well fuck... tell me about the new place."

He hadn't even thought about it when reading the script but now that he was staring at the words on the page, Jeffrey realized he was going to have to tell his wife he was filming a sex scene. 

A sex scene with a leggy blonde. 

A leggy blonde who was just on the cover of a men's magazine wearing nothing but panties. 

Rubbing his eyes as a headache began to pound behind them, he racked his brain for a way to break the news to her. It wasn't as though he were interested in the fellow cast member, there wasn't even a twinge at the sight of her. Jeffrey was firmly attached to his petite brunette, the woman more than enough to satisfy him. "Fuck." He cursed before pulling his phone out and calling his wife. "Hey you." Aria answered, a smile evident in her tone. The knot in his chest unraveled at just the sound of her voice. "Fuck, its good to hear you." Jeffrey rasped, his eyes sliding shut as she laughed, the lightness of it untying the tension between his shoulders blades.  "You alright, sweetheart?" She asked, concern lacing her words as she continued, "you sound stressed." "I..." he started before huffing out a breath. "Shit, you know me too well." "Well, I am married to you." "Yeah… yeah you are." Jeffrey murmured, clearing his throat roughly. "I got something I need to tell you." "Okay." She spoke softly, her voice cautious. "You can tell me anything." "I didn't even think about it when I took the role. Never really had to consider it before." He began, rubbing the back of his neck. "You're freaking me out, Jeff." "There's a sex scene... I have to film it in a couple days." "Oh." Jeffrey chewed his lip and continued, "Its uh.. it's not a long scene but it's uh.. full nudity. Not full frontal." He was quick to add. The longer she was quiet, the more words began to spill from his mouth without any filter. "And you know, it's all simulated and super fucking awkward because there'll be like a dozen or more people watching. She's a nice girl and all but not my type. I mean that doesn't mean if she was, I would enjoy it. I'm just saying, you know, well I mean-." "Jeffrey." "Yeah." "Stop talking." "Okay." The phone was quiet for a moment before she finally reacted. "I'm not going to pretend to be comfortable with it." "You don't have to." "I couldn't." "I know." "I mean... I guess I should've realized, it would happen. I've seen some of your movies." "Yeah." He rasped, his fingers grinding into his eyes tiredly. "Fuck." She cursed quietly before continuing. "I'm not sure I want to know anything else about it." "You don't have to." "Who's it with?" "Ari." "Who?" Jeffrey sighed, telling her the name of the leading lady. Aria let out dry chuckle before she replied, "Figures. And no need to lie, to make me feel better, Jeff. She's everybody's type." "Not mine." He replied firmly. "Believe me, sweetpea. If I could get away with not filming this scene, I would." Sighing deeply, Aria murmured, "I know." "You're the only woman for me, doll." He rasped, sinking back into the sofa. "You're all I fucking think about. You're all I fucking want." Aria was quiet a moment before speaking. "You're all I want also. I love you." "I love you, sweetpea. So damn much." "I trust you." "Good. You know I'd never hurt you." "I know." She replied with a sigh, "I'm not sure I could stand to watch it." "You don't have to." Jeffrey assured her quickly. "I was going to ask you to come to the premier but I understand completely if you don't want to go. We can go to the next one." "Well, now I feel bad." "Don't." They were both silent for a time until Jeffrey asked, "are we okay?" "Yeah." Aria replied, "we are. I'm just... fuck, I'm feeling jealous." "Aww. Baby, you don't have anything to worry about." "I know, it doesn't matter. I mean put yourself in my position. How would you feel knowing I was going to make out with some other person." Jeffrey sighed, rubbing neck anxiously. "I'd be busting someone's face in." "Exactly, so if I'm moody, just be happy I'm not hunting someone down to punch." Smirking at her words, Jeffrey assured, "I promise that it will be done professionally and I will make sure we get stuff in one take." "I know you can't promise to get it done quickly." She spoke with a sigh, "promise not to..." Jeffrey waited for her to continue but when she didn't he asked, "What, sweetheart?" "Promise not to do anything that we do." "Like what?" "Well I don't know what you're going to be doing to her or each other." She exclaimed with a huff. "Fuck I don't even want to think about it. Never mind." "Aria, please just tell me what you mean." "I just don't want you to be with her, like you are with me. Touching her the way you touch me." "Baby." Jeffrey chest throbbed at the way her voice became quieter and more fragile. "I'd never be with anyone like I am with you. I promise you that. What we film is going to be acting, okay? Nothing we do, will be real." "But it is real, Jeff. It's really happening and I know it's acting. I know it's your job but you will be kissing and touching another woman. Just... tell me you won't... I don't know. Fuck never mind." "Aria." "No it's fine. Look I've got to get ready for service." "Aria, please don't go yet." "I've got to. I... I trust you, Jeff. I'm sorry that I'm struggling with this." "Don't be sorry, sweetheart. Look, I'll call you later okay?" "Yeah. Okay." "I love you, Aria. Only you." "Love you, Jeff."

Find Chapter Thirty-Five Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/165099082746/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-thirty-five

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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[elderburn]

Ruby Rose Kisses (Almost) Every Girl RANKINGS

I haven’t seen this one yet so I’d like to resurrect this terribly underfed blog (sorry about that by the way) to list, in order, my favorite Rube Smooches- as written by @xekstrin. (This is just my personal opinion and does not reflect the opinion of Viz Media, Paramount Pictures, or any other corporation to which I have no relation. I’ll also announce that if you’re tired of this blog not producing (sorry,) you can always follow me on my normal blog, @gottalovethosecostcomuffins​, which has been known to reblog at least one thing per day. Maybe more. Let’s begin!

21. There are really that many of these? Goodness. I’ll be here awhile. The bottom of this list is BY NO MEANS the “worst” Ruby smooch, as if there could be such a thing, but something has to go here! Ciel starts us off this morning. I honestly pictured the obstacle course for MW2 for this piece. This also scratches my “Ciel is a tough, smol cookie” HC, which is nice, but it also mentioned suicides, which I hated, so there. Kiss rating: 7/10. Good on Ruple for being conscious of her own sweat. Simple soul confirmed.   

20. Neon. LOVED THIS. If there were any more scenes in V3 with Neon, this is how I would have pictured them going. Meg would have had far too much fun VA’ing these, though, so of course it could never happen. Bonus points for the use of “impish delight”, always a crowd pleaser and definitely appropriate.  Kiss rating: 6/10. ‘Mmmmmwah’ is my favorite smooch onomatopoeia, sure, but poor Rotunda was just so distraught. Can’t have that. Bonus points for (in my mind) secret domme Rubes and the implication that someone would be kneeling should this piece go any farther. Me like.

19. May Zedong. You may be thinking by now, “Hey. this guy is putting all the secondary/tertiary character smooches pretty low.” And you’d be right. But not because of that. Anywho. May joins Neon in the “Be playfully mean to my daughter” squad, but Rope-a-dope takes it in good fun. These two practicing together/bonding over weapon types was like the FIRST thing I thought of when we met May, and I love that May is having so much fun with it.  Kiss rating: 8/10. Kissing the bullet is such a cheeky thing to do, and the slightest possible whisp of gunplay has me goin’ like a drop of water on a dying man’s tongue. Bless.    18. Pyrrha. This one was so cute! I’m gonna go ahead and guess that Ruby decided that those dern Goliaths were just too tempting and decided to go big game hunting. Thus the broken leg, so far the only real injury she’s ever sustained (the_shade_of_it_all.gif) Pyrrha though, as usual, is a perfect god damned angel that this world does not deserve, and thus stands ready to keep her girlfriend safe and... otherwise entertained. Bonus points for pet JNPR rock, whose name I still want to know. Kiss rating: 9/10. There’s lots of em, which is always good for healing (something something transfer Aura). Cute as fuck. Would read again.

17. Weiss. The main team had to start somewhere, right? I like how this one frames the WR dynamic, which has always been one of my favorites, if not necessarily my favorite ship. Flustered Ruby will always get some points in my book. Just don’t be needlessly sharp with her T_T Kiss rating: 7.5/10. So close, but when compared to Pyrrha, Weiss is gonna need to step up her game. Though I don’t think Rubes had any problems with this one. A good kiss.  16. Coco & Velvet. A photoshoot is, of course, the perfect place for Ms. Adel, and the scenario to get Ruskie in one is perfect. Tall/ leggy Yang is my shiiiiiiiiit, so points there. Lots of detail on the shoot itself, which just makes me want to pull out MY camera again. Jerk. Overall a fantastic and well built piece. Like Yang’s legs. I’m not distracted, shut up.  Kiss rating: 10/10! First one of the set. Velvet and Coco both playing off Ruby’s flusteredness is my fav, which may or may not come up again on this list... but that’s for later. Bonus point for boo-boo kisses. 

15. Salem. Eughhhh. What an unsettling mental image this piece gave me, but at the same time, that’s fucking perfect. The eyes especially got me. Poor Rub.  Kiss rating: 6/10. This is more of a “Ha gotcha now you’re my corrupted mindslave” kiss. Black liquid was mentioned. My eyes kinda glazed over after that. Well fucking written, though. Goodness. 14. Reese. “Eaaaaaaat my shorts” has to be the best opening to a piece you’ve had in a long time, Kep. The ball keeps rolling from there. Yang somehow breaking the ice and setting up this little bet also tickles me pink. I guess you could say she was being an... enabler? To her weapon junky tendencies. Now she gets to take the weapons apart. Is what I mean. Not. You know. Shut up. Kiss rating: 9/10. She is Ruby god damned Rose and fuck if she is not getting a kiss you fucking fucks get out of her way

13. Amber. This one seems like the longest? I didn’t do a word count. But I like it. Poor Rutabaga. You hook up with a nice gal, you clock in to your bodyguard job the next day, there she is. Awkward. Did I mention she’s basically a god and now you have to protect her from all the shit that wants to kill her? No pressure. Still, Amber, being Amber, handles it perfectly. A nice fic on its own. Lots of fantastic internal dialogue and focus on thoughts. Which I love.  Kiss rating: 7/10. For this one, the kiss was but a small part. Still an important one, but smaller. This was such a fantastic piece that gave more to Amber as a character than Mile and Kerble could ever hope to give her. I wouldn’t mind a little prequel to this one, though... club hookups? Yes please.  12. Arslan. One of my favorite new characters. Aaaaand she’s gone. This one has so many of my favorite #JustXekstrinThings- you got tight, revealing clothing, you got Ruby noticing said clothing, Ruby short circuiting when girls in tight clothing touch her, “beforewards” and the ensuing mental battle over its status in the Oxford Dictionary... the list goes on. Fantastic.  Kiss rating. 9.5/10. This kiss has so much. The breathless “Y-yeah.” The “I’m warm cuz exercise, not gayness.” The forehead, mentor mentee thing. But something keeps it from a 10 for me. I dunno. Maybe I’ll come back to this one. Still excellent. 

11. Penny. Arguably one of my favorite Ruby pairings, and another one knocked out of the park in this set. Normal girl, normal knee things are my favorite with these two who, along with Ruby/Pyrrha, so desperately need to do normal girl, normal knee things. Cute. As. Fuck.  Kiss rating: 8/10: Again, this kiss is a passing thought, but for it to be so normal for them is what makes it beautiful. Did I mention I fucking love this ship? 10.  Winter. Hoo boy. Top ten. It’s gonna get a little more difficult here, but I’m taking my time, so I’m confident I’ll get these right. Pilot Ruby is something I didn’t know I needed in my life, but here it is. Winter being naturally apt with such things is a no-brainer, but I love that that became a mentor dynamic as well. Perfect characterization throughout. And just a dash of spice at the end- “I can teach you more... if you want.” I bet you could, Winter. I bet you could.         ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Kiss rating: 9/10. Keep your sticks under control, Roob. That’s an expensive ship. 

9. Neo. Alternative learning style Ruby has always been a thing for me, so what better way for her to learn than through the most unconventional methods possible? Neo yanking her sign language chain made me giggle. Then you turn around and slap me with an “oh shit someone’s fallin off a cliff” scenario. Rubrub to the rescue.  Kiss rating: 10/10! Ya gotcher adrenalin pumpin’, almost dyin’, arms slinkin’, shirt bundled in fist ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), height difference, full on smackeroo of a kiss. Perfection. Everything I could ever ask for.  8. Raven. Ohh-ho man. Do I love me some Ruby/Raven. Like Neo and Arslan, this one checks lots of boxes for me. Wall pinning. Desperate clawing. ANGST. Raven’s shirt unbuttoned? Y E S  P L E A S E. Still, I feel bad for Ruby in this one. I just want it to stop too sometimes.  Kiss rating: 7/10. A bit unclear in this one, but I liked it all the same. What ties into the kiss(es) are what make it so good. An excellent read.  7. Nora.  Another one of my favorite ships. Doesn’t get nearly enough love in my opinion, but hey, what can you do. This is weapon-nerd Ruby in her fucking PRIME, so major kudos there. She’s elbow deep in this muthafucka and Nora likes. I like all the little world-building details you’ve got here- gee, it’d be nice if we got those from someone who, say, wrote the show- as they really help explain certain mechanics of weaponry and Aura without having to, say, make a 3-8 minute video narrated by some creepy dude to explain them. Amazing stuff as always.  Kiss rating: 9/10. That it was brief was its only flaw. Established couple stuff is my jam, and this delivers. Love, love, love. Bonus points for the wink, Nora. I see you.  6. Numbers 4, 5 and 6 are probably the hardest for me, but I think I’ve got it pinned down. This one is Cinder. Arguably one of your best written ships overall. I like the dynamic you set up in this piece- anti-hero, is she the bad guy or not, and so on. “As always, Cinder was perfectly put together” is the perfect summary of the character- at least as written by you, imo- and the rest of the piece frames that so perfectly. I would gladly measure my music by her footsteps- so long as they were on my back, chest or face. Damn do I love this character.  (side note: Is this set in the Chained Rose universe? Cuz if so...)

Kiss rating: 10/10! You’ll probably see a few more of these as we reach the top. This one is double for your money- you’ve got Ruby being a little bold puppy, always a favorite; and it even comes with a side of feigned penitence. This is, of course, immediately punished. As it should be. Bad Ruby.   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5. Emerald. This is one of those fics that just makes you go, “Aaahhh.” Not in the screamy way. In the “I’m home” kind of way. I love all the little domestic touches. Her wife. Calling in sick. Let’s buy a house. Talkin about jobs. It’s perfect. Poor Em- I hope she works through her issues. She’s got a good helper.  Kiss rating: 8/10. As the rest of it, this one is perfectly domestic. A nice hand kiss. What a sweetheart. Points to Ruby for taking initiative. 

4. Blake. I really miss Beacon as a setting. While the whole high school anime thing can only take you so far, I do love me some dorm room snuggles, and boy does this scratch that itch. All my Ladybug boxes are checked off here. I would read 200k words of this. at $.03 a word... let’s not do that math.  Kiss rating: 10/10! Blake is opening up. Her mouth. Get it, Ru. 

3. Glynda. I am heeeere for this pairing. Of course Glynda can always find the nearest office space within a few miles to make her home. And of course Ruby can find it’s window to languorously hang off of. I love the dialogue here! Probably some of my favorite out of this whole list. What a fantastic piece. Kiss rating: 11/10!! There are so many!! There’s your hello kiss, your return mid dialogue kiss, your on your knees kiss pepperings. Glynda, as always, is completely down for this. Bravo. 2. Yang. You knew it was coming. And boy oh boy did it come. Heh. This is written in what I called the Style of the Strained Master- all of your Ruby/Yang fics have this feel to it, and it makes them amazing. Ruby is always thiiiis close to destroying herself, Yang, and everything around her, at any given time. Because she’s so. Fucking. Ready. This makes me happy. This waters my crops, feeds my children, eases my aches and pains. This puts a man on the moon and music in my soul. This is everything.  Kiss rating: There isn’t even a fucking kiss but you know damn well it’s getting a 10/10

1. The Sisters Malachite. Sound the trumpets! We have our champion! This was a struggle to decide. But this- and I know I’ve said this a couple times now- checks all. The. Boxes. Ruby being difficult. Ruby can’t do numbers. Weiss, help me. I have a number fixation and it’s making it really difficult to be the fuckin’ mack daddy that I know I am deep inside. Ruby has fucked up now. Now you fucked up. It has begun. Double teaming. Vainly struggling. There is no hope for you, child. Your clothes are ours. Have some cleavage, it’ll make up for the last three meals you’ve skipped. Except it wont. How bout we just fuck you instead. K? K.  Kiss rating:   ∞/10. I mean, there’s two of them, and they’ve got pretty decent stamina... There’s nothing here saying they couldn’t just go on forever. Poor Rubiks has a looooooot of stress to work out....  What. A. Ride. I spent the better part of two hours writing this out, and re-read all the pieces a few times a piece to get things down just the way I like it. Is this full of grammatical errors? Probably. Do I care at this point? Nah. Thank you again, Krissy, for writing this, and everything you write. You put in a lot of time for us nerds, that you really wouldn’t have to if you didn’t want to. And we appreciate the fuck out of that. Keep on keepin on. 

[wigglebox]

TGFWSH - Round 2

For @mittensmorgul ‘s “The Great Fic Writing Scavenger Hunt”

TROPE: I Don’t Want to Ruin Our Friendship

SPN ELEMENT: “they think it’s witches but HOOBOY IT’S DEFINITELY NOT WITCHES witches would’ve been a cakewalk compared to THIS…” 

When a leggy, blonde, young woman comes to little Kent Connecticut, the town notices. They notice every time someone or something comes along because the town is so small.

She frequents the house on Macedonia Brook Road, the home of a very well known, very reclusive billionaire. People have their thoughts and beliefs of course but for the most part, they just chalk it up to that guy being a sleazeball and having affairs while his wife leaves for the day.

It’s a town of secrets to be sure.

But one day, the sleepy town was awoken to blaring sirens, tearing off into the early morning hours through town. They parked outside the mansion at Macedonia Brook and wheeled out a person on a gurney. Curious onlookers lurked and watched.

Then the rumors started

I heard she walked in on Mr. Wales and that blondie, and the blondie went ape shit

Well I have it on good authority that Blondie didn’t like how many questions that that servant was asking about her.

What if that servant decided to go to Mrs. Wales with all this information? Maybe that’s why she killed her.

The days went on, with Blondie spending her days inside the house and the town went back to its normal silence. Blondie didn’t go to the grocery store, and she only spent her nights in a small cottage near the small mountains. No one talked to her, and she didn’t talk to anyone else.

Three weeks later, Mrs. Wales died.

There were no blaring sirens this time around. The coroner’s office came to collect her, and once again neighbors pooled at the bottom of the driveway. Mr. Wales wasn’t seen, Blondie was standing in the front door seeing the corpse off.

And that’s when rumors of witchcraft start.

The Kent Witch became a local lore for months. Sightings of Blondie scaled down but people swore they saw her wandering the dark streets at night. A lot of people believed she moved from her cottage to a cave in the mountains shared with Connecticut and New York. Other’s claimed she flew, seeing her at night hopping from tree to tree. As the months went on, more deaths happened in the town. They were people that were somehow connected to the Wale’s residence. Reasons like heart attacks and strokes were given but the town knew that The Kent Witch was to blame.

It got to the point where an online publication picked it up in “National Ghost Stories”. Castiel stumbled on while poking around on Dean’s laptop one night. They all looked up some more on The Kent Witch and were baffled they couldn’t find more about that area or this mysterious being.

So off they went.

It was a tense ride from Pennsylvania to Connecticut. For the past few weeks, Dean and Cas were getting into more and more spats while out on hunts. Dean first snapped at Cas for going after a ghoul on his own, then the following week Cas reamed Dean for using himself as bait for a nest of vampires. It was annoying Sam to no end, which is why he volunteered to sit in the backseat on the ride up, stretched out and sleeping. The whole car ride was only filled with the dull tones of music.

The tension between the three matched the tension in Kent when they arrived. It was the middle of summer but no one was swimming in the falls, no one was hiking, and no one was sucking down ice pops outside the general store. It felt like a ghost town.

Their first visit is to Mr. Wale’s residence, coming face to face with Blondie herself. She is nice enough, invites them in for tea, saying they weren’t the first investigators to come poking around this place. Cas and Sam sit and talk with her as Dean wanders around the room, looking for hex bags.

Dean got as far as the back mudroom before he realized the house was too big with too many places to hide the hex bag.

They leave, annoyed and disappointed. That night is spent at the motel and Sam goes off to get pizza. Cas and Dean ignore each other.

The next day, they go out and disperse to talk to people of the town. They all heard different stories. It’s the blonde woman for sure but she lives in this cave, but also by the river. She can fly, but no wait she just walks through the trees. She’s actually a ghost, she preys on men, she’s a witch possessed by a demon, except no she’s just a plain ol’ dangerous witch and Mr. Wales sold his soul to her.

It was a mess that all three of the boys really needed to wrap their head around.

Dean broke into Mr. Wale’s place when the old man seemed to get into Witch Blondie’s car and snooped around for a couple hours. There were no hex bags that he could find, no coins, no alters, no anything.

Sam and Cas went to break into Blondie’s cottage, a direction they were pointed to by only some of the residents of the town. It was clean with crocheted doilies and teacups. They overturned tables and peaked in cupboards and under floor boards. Nothing witchy was found.

While Dean is about to leave Mr. Wales’ residence, he notices a vase with the Tulpa sigil engraved all around like a pattern along with other things. He almost misses it because the vase is so busy and it’s in a room with various collectible from around the world.

Cas wants to go off into the woods by the river on his own while Sam heads back to the motel to do some more research. When Dean gets back to the motel and updates Sam, he’s livid Cas is off on his own.

The town is stirring again, the sun is setting and whispers of the witch are running around.

She has control of the police, it’s why they haven’t done anything.

Those three investigators will be the next target mark my words

When do you think Mr. Wales will die?

Night falls and Dean and Sam are visited by three State Troopers. They seize them and hold them down while a more haggard version of Blondie comes through.Her skin was pale an yellowing with splotches on her face. Her hair was covered in twigs and dirt caked her fingernails. She wore a simple black dress and black shoes. She pointed at Sam and Dean and they are instantly under her power.

Back at the woods, Cas finds the cave. There are candles and an alter with strange sigils he’s never seen before. It made no sense to him. The set up looked more like someone’s idea of what a witch would have rather than what he’s actually experience. He hurried back to the motel to tell Dean and Sam.

They aren’t there.

But Cas stumbles on their notes about Tulpas and instantly knows where to go.

Back at the Wales residence, there’s a light on. Blondie answers the door, with Mr. Wales up at the top of  the entry stairs protesting Cas’s late call. Cas doesn’t care and pushes himself in. Before he could ask the question, Witch Blondie and the state troopers along with Sam and Dean break into the house. Real Blondie faints at the sight of her twin and the state troopers go after Mr. Wales who flees upstairs.

Cas is busy fighting Sam and Dean off which isn’t too bad since they are being controlled by a fake being. He manages to throw them off while storming through the house, looking through all of Mr. Wales’ valuables. He manages to find the vase and he smashes it, knowing that solves only half the problem.

Dean managed to recover from the fight first and lunges after Cas. They fight and fight, and it’s clear that this is just weeks of tension bottled up with whatever the witch put on Dean. Cas finally is able to knock him out and find Witch Blondie who is sucking some life force thing out of her counterpart on the floor.

Cas remembered how she didn’t like fire according to the townsfolk and he grabs the lighter from Dean’s pocket. It wasn’t much fire but it does the trick as she backs into a corner. Cas grabs the curtain near them and smashes a hurricane lamp into it, catching it on fire. He throws it at the Witch and she burns up.

The spell is broken.

Dean Sam and Cas get out with Blondie before the police come to and call for backup. They don’t even know if Mr. Wales lived.

They later find out that Blondie was a new caretaker for the Wales family due to their failing health. She is so shaken by what happens she packs up and leaves with Sam Dean and Cas and they drop her off at a bus station.

The townsfolk, satisfied that the witch is seemingly gone with the crime scene that happened, happily retire the Witch lore into history.

A few nights later, with Sam pointedly giving them some space, Dean finally opens up to what’s been driving their spats. He was so nervous of something bad happening to Cas something irreversible now that he’s human with them. Finally, Dean says he doesn't want to ruin their friendship, but he has feelings for Cas that he can’t always place on the sidelines and makes him more scared of something happening to Cas. Dean doesn’t really know how to say I Love You, so Cas beats him too it, cuts Dean’s rambling off, and straight up kisses him.