#poetry musingras

[musingras]

20210704-00:46

the perfect adaptor

it's 00:00 o'clock

The perfect adaptor, how are you doing in your seemingly perfect life

The show that you've put on, is it still up and running?

you couldn't decide if you were a child or a cold adult

I've realized that you're just empty inside

You like to leave your imprint on your exes

Well, I'm not your ex, your now or your next

And I just don't care

It wasn't your going that makes me write about you at 12am

But it is just me, in all my glory

I said that I'm ready and then I realized I wasn't but which was true?

How vain you're to call yourself a king,

when I can see through all your insecurities, in latin

boy I don't necessarily think you're bad, I can't quite put my finger on you

And I am always so adamant on figuring things out, solving all the mysteries

You're wearing way too many masks, built just too many walls

And I thought I could bring them all down

I thought I could heal you and then let you go,

I never once had the intention to keep you for myself 'cause honestly I need someone else

I can see now that you'll get better only when you want to

I should've known as I wrote the book on holding on

It's 00:41, 2021 and life goes on

It never stopped really but people are alive and living after a long while

You know, I wanna live

Truly, all I wanna do right now is to live

There's just so much for me to see, taste and experience

So many summer night breezes my skin should feel

So many sweet memories I should collect

So many people I could get to know, all like you

There to teach me something, to keep me company on my journey

For a while, however short or long

The greatest lesson I've learned in these last months is that

I wanna live, I never wanted to perish

I was just a little but too disillusioned

And boy I'll keep being pretty in my disillusionment

And I honestly wish you the best in your masquerade

Hope you can open your heart and love

Yourself and others, and I hope you'll live and grow

'Cause I will

[musingras]

#20200107-13:24

living in an illusion is

the best thing

you’ll ever do

a higher pitch

then lower it

so that you’ll be

perceived as

lovely but

when no one

hears and

they don’t

understand

what really is

the point of

talking

[musingras]

#20141014-10:14

when the fall rains are falling

I’ll be right there with you

under your dotted umbrella

we’ll be watching people

running away

you’ll wonder

why do they even escape

cause it is fall

and the rain is falling

and I’ll be falling

in love with you

[musingras]

cold breeze

the world is for your taking

in the cold but beautiful days remember

if you can’t wear a crown from your heart

stick the pictures of your loved ones

embrace the cold

that is surrounding you

but never and ever lose yourself

into the thoughts

that are haunting you

do not ever let the feeling 

of loneliness flow around you

a day will come 

with a breeze

then you’ll be free

[musingras]

#20200107-13:24

coddle the self

pompous as ever

like an elf

that lies never

but tricks so

cunningly

will they ever look

lovingly

[musingras]

#20141010-21:59

do you know what was hidden

lying beneath my little blinks

my every second blinks

there was it, hidden

it, that I knew

it, that I loved

it, that I forgot

that I forgot unknowingly

but that it kept coming to me

that one just didn’t let me live

that didn’t let me leave

just didn’t let me

[musingras]

ww

what am I even doing

thinking that I am okay

what was the reason causing it

what was the feeling it brought

how long will I be stuck in the

not so wonderous wonderland of it

when will I see the child that I lost there

in the not so wonderous wonderland

[musingras]

cs

mistake after mistake

regret over regret

when will I get better

will I ever get better

loneliness hit me again

do I need to be lonely

to have common sense

[musingras]

momentary

how does it bother still

how does it hurt still

how my muscles cramp still

at a glimpse of the thought of it

[musingras]

#20151217-14:16

it does not really matter

the directions of our thoughts

I’ll wear something striped

and you’ll wear something striped

maybe our stripes would collide

and then we’d be on the same page

[musingras]

#20170704-1

I hate you, 

I hate your eyes,

I hate the way they pierce me

like I am made to be looked over 

[musingras]

#20170704

it was an unending race.

a race of material and capital 

and all things that were of financial worth.

it was pointless to expect

judgments based on dismissed reality.

the reality of the inside,

the reality of emotions and piety.

the reality of words and dreams and thoughts

the reality of me,

the reality of you.

I keep wondering still within

all of this lack-of-meaning,

ask the questions that I know

will never be answered.

what am I?

what is the meaning of my existence?

do not get me wrong

I understand my individuality,

the character and the meaning of it

but I cease to understand the daily life

the sound of vehicles and car horns

and ringtones and the talking

I do not understand the rush,

the ambition, the vanity

I do not understand the state 

of being lost.

though I am.

though you are.