#plz interact with me I’m so desperate for attention plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz

[dumbdeafmutt]

would love to have a owner that isn’t like an actual relationship, like a friend with control over you in a sexual way i think :3 also other puppy or kitty girl/boy friends!! :3

[daisynik7]

“freak-a-leek” by petey pablo for a jean and eren threesome if that’s okay plz

Freek-A-Leak

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader x Jean Kirstein

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.9k

cw: modern setting au, explicit language, p*rn w/no plot, smut – threesome, PIV sex (missionary), cunnilingus, blowjob, sex toy use, masturbation, cum-eating, dirty talk, sex without a condom, pet names (baby, sweetheart), reader has multiple orgasms, creampies, just some overall smutty silliness

Summary: You’re on a business trip with the two cockiest salesmen in your department: Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein. After a long day of dealing with them clashing over the silliest things, you decide to unwind in your hotel room the best way you know how. 

Author’s Note: This is the last song on the y2k karaoke party playlist! Thank you so much for the request anon! I had fun with this! It’s all horny and just plain silly, so I hope you like it. Thank you so much for reading! MDNI divider by @/cafekitsune. 

It’s almost 10 PM when you finally make it back to your hotel room, completely spent from today’s activities. It’s the first day of the conference here in Marley and being stuck in the middle of Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein has proven to be much more exhausting than you anticipated. 

You’re not completely convinced you needed to come on this business trip with them. After all, they’re the top two salesmen in your department, and this conference is solely for selling your product to new customers. Your boss, Hangë, encouraged you, the lead design engineer, to tag along in case they needed any technical support while demonstrating the ODM equipment. You were reluctant at first, but when they emphasized the fact that this trip would be completely paid for, including the lodging and food, how could you refuse? 

Unfortunately for you, because of the two clashing personalities between Jean and Eren, you ended up playing mediator throughout the day rather than engineer. The two bickered as usual, from where to eat, to what side of the table they wanted to stand on. In front of the customers, they were professional and charismatic, no hint of animosity lingering around them. As soon as it was the three of you alone, it was nonstop arguing and snide remarks, with you doing your best to either ignore it or alleviate it until the next fight arose. 

Luckily for you, Hangë set you up with your own room at the hotel while the other two shared the one right beside you. There’s an adjoining door for easy access into each other’s space and Jean begs you to open it when you first check in, not wanting a single moment alone with his temporary roommate. But after today’s festivities, you’re desperate for some private time by yourself.

Jean steps into your room, leaning against the doorframe. “So, should we watch a movie?” he suggests, still in his dress shirt, tie loosened around his collar.

Eren appears behind him, on his tip-toes to get your attention. “Why don’t we play video games instead?”

You yawn, shooing them away. “I’m exhausted, so I’m going to sleep.” 

You try to shut the door on them, but Jean pushes back, persistent. “You’re not seriously going to leave me alone with him, are you?” He points his thumb to the man behind him. 

Eren scoffs. “I don’t want to be alone with you either!”

“Dude, you are breathing down my neck! Give me some space.”

“Then move so I can talk to her!”

“It’s not your turn to talk!”

“Guys!” you yell, losing your patience. “I am tired. Try to get along so we can all get some sleep. Please?”

They grumble to themselves, shoving elbows at each other before they finally leave you alone, closing the door to give you your peace. You don’t bother locking in, certain they won’t be bothering you the rest of the night. 

After a nice, hot shower, you get comfortable in your pajamas, rummaging through one of your pouches until you find what you’re looking for. After a long day with those two goofballs, the best way for you to relieve stress is to have a little playtime. You carry your vibrator with you to bed, one ear bud in, and your favorite naughty audio ready to play on your phone. Only five minutes in, with the fluttering tip pressed to your clit, it doesn’t take long for you to orgasm. Ready for another, you get distracted by the muffled voices of your neighbors, bickering once again. You pop your ear bud out, trying to hear whatever dumb topic they’re arguing about now. The toy is still vibrating in your hands, the tip wet with your arousal. You let your imagination wander, thinking of Jean and Eren just on the other side of the wall. Hot, heated, raring to go. Fantasizing about the nasty, filthy things they could do to you if they knew just how horny you are, pent up with sexual frustration from all the testosterone you were surrounded with today. 

Suddenly, the door swings open and Eren stomps into the room, shouting your name. “Who do you find more annoying, me or him?!” Jean follows right on his tail, trying to grab him by the collar of his undershirt, hissing, “She’s sleeping, you dumbass!” They stop in their tracks, staring wide-eyed at you with your legs spread open on the bed, blanket shrugged off, vibrator buzzing in your hand. Completely exposed.

You quickly pull the covers over you, hiding the toy beneath your pillow, mortified. “What the fuck?!” you yell out to them. 

Both of them gape at you, blushing all the way down to their necks, speechless for the first time all day. Their silence is louder than any squabbling they’ve done today, and you have no idea what to say to make this any less awkward than it already is. 

Before you can think of another response, Eren clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey Jean. Bet I can make her come harder than you can.”

Jean glances at him, hesitant at first, then relaxes into a smirk. “Oh yeah? You’re on.”

Eren steps towards the bed, grinning at you. “What do you say? Will you help us?” 

You stare at them, befuddled and also extremely intrigued by this offer. Deciding quickly, you nod at them, releasing the grip on the blanket. They both smile at you, putting a flutter in your belly. Eren laughs, tugging on the covers slowly. “Come on. You can’t hide from us now.”

Jean joins in, dragging it down your body until you’re on display again, pussy glistening from your first orgasm. They both swear under their breaths, Eren licking his lips while Jean bites his. “Fuck, did you already come?”

“Yeah, I did,” you answer, pussy aching to be touched by either one of them. Both of them.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Eren says, inching towards you. “You’re extra juicy for me, huh?”

“Why do you get to go first?” Jean butts in, scowling. 

Eren positions himself at your arousal, his breath hot on your pussy as he replies, “I don’t want to lick your spit.”

“Well, I don’t want to lick yours either! Let me goes first.”

“Fuck you, I’m already here.”

“Then move!” 

“Guys!” you cry out, bucking your hips, desperate for anything at this point. “Just hurry up and touch me. Please.”

Eren sticks his tongue out. “You heard her,” he muffles, licking circles around your clit. “Let’s make our girl feel good.”

Jean swallows hard, positioning himself beside you, puckering his lips around your nipples and sucking. You moan, arching your back off the bed, running your fingers through his hair. “Feels so good,” you whine, feeding your other breast to him. He latches on immediately, pulling your teat between his lips while Eren laps at your puffy clit. With your free hand, you grab hold of his hair, gripping it to pull him deeper into your cunt. Soon, you’re gushing on his face, rutting your hips against him while he swallows every drop of you. 

“Fuck, you taste good,” Eren says, tongue prodding into your slit. 

“I want a taste too,” Jean mutters, giving your nipple one last hard suck before he releases you with a wet pop. 

“Not yet,” Eren murmurs, kissing the soft plush of your thighs. 

Jean crawls to where he is, shoving him slightly to stick his face into your pussy. “It’s my turn, jackass.” He laps at your clit, determined to be better than his rival. 

Eren laughs, collecting your slick slathered on his chin and lips with his fingers, licking it off. “Be honest, baby. Is he doing better than me?” He strips out of his bottoms, lying beside you, stroking his hard cock. 

You squeeze your thighs around Jean’s head, bucking into his mouth, already close to your third climax. Your eyes go from Eren’s fist jerking himself off to Jean’s face shaking between your legs, eating you out feverishly. He teases a finger inside you and when you flutter around it, he slides in all the way, adding a second.

“No fair,” Eren breathes out, stroking himself faster.

Jean chuckles against your skin, sucking on your clit while he pumps his fingers in and out of you. You turn your head to face Eren, leaning towards him to kiss him sloppily. He cradles your cheek with his free hand, pulling you in deeper, tongue swirling around yours, slurping up your spit. Once again, you’re pushed over the edge, coming on Jean’s face this time, his nose pressed to your sensitive bud as he drinks up all the slick leaking out of you. 

“Fuck me,” you beg, not directing it to anyone in particular.

Eren smiles against your mouth, licking your drool off the corners of your lips. “Go ahead, Jean. You can go first.”

Jean shoves his pants down, releasing his stiff cock, palming it. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he says, kneeling next to your head, tracing your lips with the tip of his cock. “We’re having way too much fun right here, aren’t we sweetheart?” You nod in response, moaning around his dick as you sink your mouth on it, swallowing it until it’s to the back of your throat. “Fuck, you take it so good. You wanted to get fucked like this tonight, huh? Wanted to show us what a freak you are.”

Jean slides his cock inside you, stretching you out until he bottoms out. He spreads your legs apart, holding you open so he can pound straight into you. Eren’s focus goes from his own pleasure to his friend thrusting. “Fuck her harder, Jean.”

He obeys, picking up the pace, shoving himself deeper. You choke on your own moans, pulling off Eren to catch your breath. He cradles your face in his hands, massaging your cheeks tenderly. “You’re okay, sweetheart. Take a break. Just enjoy getting fucked by this fat cock.”

“Fuck,” Jean growls, closing his eyes. “I’m so close.”

Eren licks his lips, watching. “Don’t pull out. Fill her up.”

At that, Jean loses it, spurting his hot load inside you, your pussy fluttering around him. He pulls out, switching spots with Eren, snuggling up next to you to kiss you softly. You smile at him, whispering, “Thank you.”

He plants a smooch on your nose. “Thank you, baby.”

“Hey, don’t forget about me,” Eren says, guiding his hard cock inside you. “I’m going to fuck all this cum right back inside this cunt.”

You and Jean both moan, watching him fuck you with a devilish grin on his face. Jean reaches under the pillow, retrieving the toy you used earlier. “Can I use this on you?”

Incoherent and fucked out, you nod, desperate for whatever it is they want to offer to you. He presses the button, making the vibrator buzz in his grip, pressing the fluttering tip to your clit while Eren continues to ravish you. His eyes widen when he sees what Jean’s doing. “Oh shit. She’s squeezing me so fucking tight.” 

You’re in a drunken daze, trembling all over your body from the pleasure, whimpering uncontrollably with Jean toying with your clit as Eren fucks your brains out. When you reach your final climax, Eren comes with you, burying his cum deep inside your womb. You’re stuffed to the brim with both their loads, feeling exhausted and euphoric. 

Eren pulls out, cuddling up to your other side, kissing your forehead. Jean sets the vibrator aside, spooning you from the back. You relax in their arms, actually happy to be stuck in the middle of them for once.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Eren asks jokingly, “So…who won?”

“Obviously me,” Jean grins, kissing your neck.

You laugh, snuggling closer to the both of them. “I think I’m the real winner here.”

[dollyyun]

Hi Ruby, how r you doing cutie? i hope everything is going well for you🧡🧡

I was actually gonna wait until i catch up into your DKP series before sending you a full long ass text thanking your genius brain and kissing your pretty fingers that wrote this masterpiece, but i got spoiled 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭, i technically had a feeling Beomgyu is sus but i didn't reach that part where things started getting serious when i got spoiled and now i just wanna kms (j) 🫠🫠🫠

But that aside, thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to read something as good as this for free (ngl i'd pay for that), from your writing style to the complexity of characters like every single thing is a masterpiece (also the 2nd part with Jake got me tweaking and rolling on the floor and i keep thinking about it to this date like hellooooooooo??????? 😵‍💫🥴 it was so hot and the chasing and everything made it sooo exciting like i was on edge with the mc as well) fr ghost face Jake is my weakness and guilty pleasure 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ tysm for writing it that good ) i really love how twisted his character is, like one time he is so soft with us and another time he is chasing for me with while being full of blood asking me to hide and run and shit (love me twisted man MY MAN) also Sunghoon????? (omg he had me on my knees (literally) i love his character so much in here it is exactly how i imagine him to be i lost my shit real good when he asked the mc to crawl over likeee i'd do that without asking me sirrrrr but the way u described the mc's feeling at that time had me😩), he is so manipulative but 😩😩😩😩 can't word how i feel about him better than this emoji (😩)

Jayyyyyyyyyyyy omg jayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fucking Park Jongseong i also love his character even when it's a bit (lot) mean and harsh but that just makes everything more yummy, his jealousy and possessiveness is everything, i'll go and cry in a corner cause no one would that for me real quickly but i love how the mc didn't give him what he wants that easyyy love seeing a man gets frustrated cause m not giving him attention like yes roll on the floor and be desperate plz (fr i love how made his character in here the total opposite of how he is irl, wanna kiss you real bad fr)

Heeseung 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 kept dreaming of him calling me sweetheart everyday likeeeee plzzzzzz call me that uwu 🥺🥺🥺, his character even when it's the calmest it is actually the scariest (i still didn't reach a part on the story where he lashes out completely but i just know it'd be too muchhhh), idk why but whenever he comes out in a scene my heart flutter (jake baby you r hallucinating i didn't say that) also m sure he'd be the most possessive out of all of them (and i live 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️)

I wanted so say so much more but m not good with words 😭😭 i wish it was possible to get you in my brain to know how much m loving thissssss (even tho my reading pace is that of a turtle (blame my work)), love the concept and darkness of it, love your writing style, love how u write the smut in here, i just love youuuu give me a chance plz 🥺👉👈🧡

HAYDI!!! plsss the hottie herself calling me cutie? i’m running laps rn🏃🏻‍♀️💨

i’m still feeling lethargic but overall i’m fine! i hope you’re doing fine too! we should defo interact more <3

aahhh i’m so sorry that you got spoiled😭🙏🏻but omg thank you so so much for sending me your thoughts and sweet messages :( i genuinely enjoy and love reading them! especially your inputs in brackets because same😭i can’t thank you enough for taking your precious time to send me this🥹

plsss bae you’ve already said so much and for that i’m thankful to you🩷i’m really glad that you love the series and my writing despite the flaws🫡

i wanna say more and to give you my gratitude but i lack of braincells to find the right words😭💀but just know that i’m forever thankful and my dms are always open for you <3

i love you more fr🩷giving you a smooch 💋

[moral-turpitudes]

Letting Go:

Trigger Warnings: Um Angst...and some Mutual Pining? 

Word Count: 2,276

Characters: Michael Gray x Reader

+ Polly Gray, Gina Gray.

Request: “Okay so I just came up with the idea for Michael Gray x Reader, where Michael leaves for America and comes back with Gina, and the reader learns about it and is pissed with him cause he didn’t want to “get involved” but comes back with a wife...I don’t know the ending, it may be sad or happy :) Thank you love!”

Requested by: @msbzowy​

I apologize for it taking me so long, it’s been a crazy month or so lol. I actually really liked this bc it helped me get out my own feels about a much more less dramatic situation lol. Also I liked how your idea focused on this part in the show because Michael kinda really did that one girl dirty, leaving her to have her procedure done and then later turning around and having a kid w Gina...like lol the audacity. (I realize time had passed and he’s allowed to change throughout the shows timeline but it still rubbed me the wrong way a tiny bit cuz I felt bad for that girl he had a fling with. Lol don’t come for my neck plz guys).

Summary: Y/N has no more time for fuckboys.

You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you watched the ship depart, taking your heart with it. The steam rolling out the top as it loudly groaned to life and set sail for America. You sat there until it disappeared, accepting the fact you’d never see the one you loved again.

Michael had been sent off to America for “business” purposes, much to you and his mother Polly’s dismay. You had been close to him ever since he met you at the Garrison two years ago, slowly integrating you into his life and into Polly’s as well. He always tried to keep you from the peaky business that went on, but with you being stubborn, it led you to working as a secretary for the Shelby’s and joining Michael on business runs on occasion. Giving you both some quality time together, despite neither of you admitting your feelings. You were shocked at first as Polly had hired you after seeing how you interacted with everyone else, and so when they shipped him off right under your nose you were taken aback, and downright furious.

Furious at the fact that Tommy would send him away without as much as a phone call briefly explaining the details, and furious at Michael for saying “I’m doing this for the business Y/N. It’s not you, it’s just that I’m not wanting to get involved in anything right now. It’s better if I go at this alone now.”

He said this to you at the dock, you could see in his eyes that he didn’t mean that, like it was scripted from the devil himself and he was just following along. His eyes bore into yours and he left you with nothing but a light hug and a soft kiss on your forehead.

The ghost of his kiss lingered there until the stars appeared, hinting that it was best for you to go home, away from the eerie calmness of the shipping docks.

You had let your frustrations be known before you drove Michael to the dock earlier, yelling at Tommy in front of everyone in the shop before grabbing Michael’s hand and leading him out to the car.

As much as you wanted to walk in now and pick up your work where you left off, you took a long look at the shop and drove on back to your apartment, not bothering to let anyone know your plans for the work week.

When you awoke the next day, your head buzzed and your eyes were brimmed with red streaks as you’d cried yourself to sleep. Mad at yourself that you didn’t flat out tell him you loved him like you had meant to, and mad at him that he’d lie to your face, even after all you’ve seen each other through.

A year had passed and you’d bitterly kept your job as one of their head secretaries, staying mainly for the money it brought in. Avoiding Tommy when you could, and tolerating the others as they made their rounds throughout the shop each day. Polly knew how you’d felt early on, seeing how Michael would light up when you were around, and she’d always tell him after you’d leave their house that he’d better tell you how he felt before you found someone else, but neither of you expected the tables to turn like they did.

On a cold dreary night you walked down to the Garrison, deciding to warm up with a couple of drinks before heading home. Polly had joined you, seeing as you were the only one she consistently worked with and genuinely liked in the whole office.

“Maybe if I drink enough I’ll forget...you know? Just for one night I’d like to forget...” You said, nursing a glass of wine.

“I know dear. He’ll realize it eventually. I wish he would’ve taken my advice. You were good for him...you still are.” She said.

You smirked and looked down at the dark red drink, seeing your tired reflection in it.

As you stared around aimlessly, your attention was caught by a man in a top hat walking in with a short haired blonde woman, not much older than you. She had a on a silvery blue dress and a brown fur coat, and the man had a nice dress suit on, looking oddly familiar in the distance. As they walked towards the bar, your heart dropped as you recognized the man, snaking his arm around the woman’s waist as she ordered them both drinks at the bar.

Polly gently took your hand that was clenched into a fist, speaking sternly next to you.

“Y/N...I’m just as shocked as you are right now but this is not the time nor the place. Let me do the talking if they come over.” She said.

You just shook your head and quickly drank the rest of your wine, desperately hoping it was a dream-or more so a nightmare.

Michael walked over, his eyes going wide as he took in the sight of his mom and you at the bar, immediately locking eyes with Polly.

He knew he couldn’t escape his mom so he reluctantly brought the girl over, clearing his throat before saying hello.

“Hello mum, didn’t think you’d be here this late.” He said.

She looked at him and gave him a small smile, hugging her son for the first time in a year.

“Hello Michael....who’s this?” She asked as you turned away, pouring yourself more wine.

“Mum...this is...my wife Gina. Gina Gray...” He said looking at her and smiling, trying hard not to look in your direction.

“Oh how lovely... I guess the family invitations got lost in the mail...what a shame.” She said before gently giving Gina a quick, emotionless hug.

“We just wanted to get it over with. Being in love and all... You know how that is...It’s so nice to meet ya Mrs. Gray.” She said, her accent doing a number on your ear drums as she shook Pollys hand.

“I’m sorry if we disturbed you and...Y/N...?” Michael asked, pointing over to you as you turned around as if on cue. You took a deep breath before putting your glass down, glaring into him as you put on the best fake smile you could manage.

“Michael! Hello! It’s been too long.....” You began, feeling yourself lose your cool. Polly sighed as you continued, not letting Michael get a word in edgewise.

“You May think I’ve forgotten...but you and me both know you wanted to be together, but you just didn’t have the balls to say it. And to think I was going to tell you that day as well....right before you went on that ship......things really do work in mysterious ways...” You said shaking your head and looking at him with pity before inching closer to Gina.

“My name is Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. We go way back my dear. Welcome to the family...” You said before mouthing a goodbye to a frustrated Polly and giving her a tight hug before heading out, stopping a few feet away from Gina once again. “....oh and good luck sweetheart, this one’s a real piece of work.” You said pointing to Michael and winking before walking out the door, leaving it slamming against its frame behind you.

You ran quickly over to the shop, your heart racing as you went into the bathroom. You were a bit buzzed, but that didn’t stop you from ruminating over what just happened.

Tears stained your face as your tired eyes looked in the mirror, your cheeks heating up as the heat from the building warmed your numb face.

As you wiped your tears you heard the door open slightly, Ada walking in and eyeing you suspiciously. Everyone knew you and Michael had had a thing for each other until now unfortunately, and Tommy being the devil he is, thought you’d take him away from his business duties, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. If only he’d let him stay, this would all be different. You’d be wearing a fur coat and a shimmering diamond on your finger right now, but instead you were drunkenly crying in the restroom of the shop that held so many memories.

“Hey....are you okay Y/N? What’s wrong?” Ada asked coming to sit with you on the cold tile floor. Besides Polly, she was the only other person you were friends with while working there.

“Why don’t ya see for yourself...? I’m sure he’ll call a meeting tomorrow to tell everyone all about it.” You said wiping your tears away and heading for the door.

“Who’s gonna call a meeting Y/N?” She asked concerned.

“Michael. He’s back. I’ll see you around Ada...I’ll try to write to you soon.” You said shortly, pulling her into a hug before leaving the shop for what you’d hoped would be the last time.

You felt the cool air on your cheeks as you got in your car and drove home. Your mind racing about what your next steps would be, your heart breaking with each second that passed while being in the same town as him. You wanted nothing more than to go somewhere not because your were forced to, like him, but because you wanted to. You spent so much time pining for a man who never had the balls to say three simple words. So when you got to your quaint apartment, you packed your bags, preparing to leave for London with all the money you had, ready to leave the past behind.

Back at the Garrison, Michael was left in an awkward position after you left, Gina shooting him a worried glance as she held onto his arm.

“Well that was rude of her...” Michael said and Gina nodded. Polly lit a cigarette as she turned towards him.

“Not entirely...” she said pulling him closer to her as she whispered.

“I’d advise you to talk to her, if she hasn’t left Small Heath already. But...you’re not one for taking advice my sweet boy...” Polly said, giving him a hug and flashing a fake smile towards Gina before heading back to the shop.

Low and behold the next day, Michael surprised everyone at the shop by calling everyone to a meeting, leaving the whole family shocked to say the least.

Tommy took one look at Gina and knew she’d be trouble, as he at least didn’t want to vomit every time he met eyes with you. To him you weren’t half bad, you just had a mean streak reserved for him ever since he had sent Michael away.

You had called him personally last night while he was home. Swallowing your pride and letting yourself and your qualms with him go.

“Hi it’s Y/N. I’m sorry this is late, but I’m calling to let you know that after some recent events and careful consideration, I’d...rather not be under your employment anymore Mr. Shelby. I’m grateful for your help and for your family all these years, but some things are meant to be left in the past, some people...actually...You’ll know what I’m talking about tomorrow. Goodnight Mr. Shelby.” You said quickly, before he could say anything.

You quickly packed the rest of your things, and went to bed. Mentally prepping yourself for waking up early to make the necessary housing arrangements and bank notices.

You awoke at 6am, racing with your car already packed, to discuss the selling of your apartment as you were planning on leaving the place as-is for whoever may need it next. They quickly found someone who had been in their list and you had the money in your pocket by noon. After that, you called Polly to meet you somewhere discreet.

“I can’t believe it Y/N. You’re really leaving?” She asked, handing you your last paycheck. Her nerves frazzled by this mornings meeting and last night’s incident.

“Yes. I’m not going to stay in a place where I’m not valued. It may be dramatic Poll, but I think this is the start I’ve been needing. I want to live for me. I want to be intentional with someone who intentionally loves me too, who’ll actually say how they feel even if it’s the last thing I hear from them...But just know I’ll write you and Ada and the others often. I’ll only be a little ways away over in London. I’m not going abroad anytime soon.” You said chuckling. She smiled and cupped your face in her hands, a tear falling from her eye as she spoke.

“I love you dear, so much. I’m sad to see you go....but I think this might be good for you, even though it hurts. But you do deserve so much better. I’m just sorry my son couldn’t be that person despite us all thinking he would be. But if there’s any solace from this, just know that we care about ya. We love you and you’re always welcome back, no matter what they say...just tell them Polly said so.” She said.

You wiped your tears from your eyes as she enveloped you in a hug, the smell of her perfume soothing you as you embraced these last moments with her for the near future.

After getting up and walking to the door, you focused on all that could await you in London, or who.

“Oh and Poll?” You asked stopping with your hand on the doorknob.

“If I ever have a wedding, you’ll definitely be invited. That’s a promise.” You said as she smiled at you, nodding as she watched you head off into the streets of Small Heath and toward your future.

Tag List:

(If you want to be added/removed just send me an ask!) :)

@inglourious-imagines, @caelys, @smallheathgangsters, @ta-ka-shi-ma

[itsarealshitshow]

NCT 127 reaction to falling in love with a fan

Requested by @fruityutas​

Pairing: NCT 127 x reader

Warnings: None

Author: Admin Wiki & Admin Emelia

Scenario: The members have secret accounts to keep up and interact with their fans. What happens when they start talking to you and they develop feelings? 

A/N: so we changed the request up a little bit. instead of them falling in love with a fan on their like secret account, it’s how they meet and fall for you. i hope you like it!

Moon Taeil

YOU ACCIDENTALLY DM HIM

sir is a grandfather

like literal grandpa energy radiates off this man

i see him on facebook and pinterest 

but for the sake of this fic

let’s say haechan downloaded tiktok on his phone and that taeil uses it

you sent him something once accidentally thinking it was your friend but it was taeil

and he replied to it 

soon after a beautiful friendship started 

eventually he trusted you enough to go on video call and he was like plz don’t tell anyone that you’re friends with taeil moon

and you guys start going on video calls so often that he just falls for your humour and your beauty

he eventually realizes by himself that he loves you 

it’s a late night on video call with you and he doesn’t care that he’s going to be tired in the morning during practice

he knows that you’re a fan and he doesn’t care because to him you’re so much more

Johnny Seo

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS

ok so basically 

you guys were so close as kids 

then he moved away and lost contact with you

of course when you got into kpop you’ve heard of johnny seo 

and were like omg it’s my childhood best friend

luckily

one day you go to go to an nct concert 

and he saw you and stood there like 👁👄👁 too

he got you backstage for afterwards

and was like omg i’ve missed you, i can’t believe you’re a fan 

you’re like i’ve gotta seize this opportunity

so you’re like johnny i’m in love with you

and he’s like OMG I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO

and once again you guys look at each other like 👁👄👁

johnny’s first instinct is to be like wanna date then 

and you

being the rational one 

asked about you being a fan 

and he was like OH SHIT RIGHT

but you two brought it up with sm and somehow they let you two date

Lee Taeyong

BECOMING FRIENDS THROUGH ANIMAL CROSSING

so of course this mans plays animal crossing

we been knew

but one day he needed to sell his turnips very desperately 

and used an app to find someone with the highest prices

which happened to be you

and so 

your island is the cutest and most amazing island taeyong ever seen 

you have a welcome sign and are so nice to him in the game

he saw that you have some custom designs of nct stuff and that’s when he found out he was on a fan’s island

but he doesn’t really care

and he asks for your number so you two can text

he told you to call him yongie 

so he can be anonymous

and over time you two just fell for each other

taeyong becomes worried when he realizes that he’s fallen for you

because you’re a fan and if he confesses without ever doing a video call or meeting in person it’s weird

but he decides to confess to you over text and makes sure you actually like him for him

after taeyong confirms that you like him too he suggests going on a video call

that’s when you two see each other for the first time and you’re like omg 

and he asks you to be his s/o

Yuta Nakamoto

FOLLOWS A FAN ACCOUNT AND FALLS FOR THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE ACCOUNT

disclaimer : i don't know how the photo accounts actually work

but anyways

this man is full of himself

it’s kinda obvious 

so of course he follows fan accounts

one day he direct messages you to see photos that you haven’t posted yet 

and you were like um hi?? 

who are you??

he’s like hi i’m yuta i wanna see photos of myself, also do not post about this interaction or else i can sue you 🥰🥰

so you’re like um ok first i want confirmation that you’re yuta and not some crazy fan wanting unreleased photos

anyways

after that whole shebang

you two just start talking on the regular about anything and everything

and he realizes that he’s fallen for you

he doesn’t care that you’re a fan because he’s genuinely fallen for you

and the next time he sees you at an event is when he confesses how he feels

Kim Doyoung

HE GETS SAVED FROM SAESANGS

we all know that mans hates saesangs and fights them a lot

so one day doyoung is trying to escape some crazy fans 

but nothing is working and they keep catching up to him 

you end up running into him when he’s running away

realizing that saesangs are following him like crazy you figure he must be an idol

and so you grab his hand

you pull doyoung to a really small café that no one knows about

once you’ve lost them you realize that it really is doyoung that you were hanging onto

doyoung starts to open his mouth to thank you when all of a sudden you start apologizing

“i’m so sorry! it was really rude of me to just grab onto you and drag you around. i can’t believe saesangs are like that! honestly i hate being in the same fandom as them when they do stuff like this.”

he sits there like 👁👄👁 

“so you’re a fan of mine?”

“oh yes, i’m so sorry for just grabbing you like that doyoung. i should’ve asked you first.”

he’s like “actually, i should pay you back. you got me away from the saesangs.”

so you two go on a date 

and then he finds he actually likes you and that you make him feel normal even though you’re a fan of his group

he’s surprised because he thought he would fall in love with a fellow idol and not someone who idolizes him

Jaehyun (Jung Jaehyun or Jung Yoonoh)

HE MEETS THEM DURING A BUSKING

while strolling through seoul on his day out jaehyun stumbled upon a group of people doing a busking

the songs they were performing happened to be NCT songs which is what caught his attention

there was one person who had completely captured his attention 

which happened to be you

luckily for jaehyun he was wearing a hat and a mask which meant that no one would know it was him 

he watched as you performed and was completely enamoured with your charm and looks

after your performance had ended jaehyun decided to come up to you 

he was like “i think you’re super cool and really good looking do you wanna hang out sometime”

no cap you recognize his voice and are like “🤩 yessir”

he keeps coming to your buskings and you two hang out all the time

he quickly falls for you but is worried that you only like him because he’s an idol 

he gets johnny or mark to ask you how you feel about him and if you care that he’s an idol

jaehyun’s decision is set when they tell him you like him for him and not because he’s famous 

Kim Jungwoo

THEY DO AEGYO DURING A FAN MEET

jungwoo loves the shit out of these fan meets

he’s anxious about them of course but he loves meeting fans and seeing them

before the fan meet had even begun jungwoo spotted you in the crowd

he thought you were the best looking person he’s ever seen and couldn’t wait to meet you

he forgot about you but when he heard mark laughing at someone and saw you he got all excited again

finally when you came up to him you performed some aegyo for him

he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven you are so cute

you guys chat it up during the time you guys have with each other and he sneaks his phone number in for you

he loves the fact that you’re a fan because it means you just appreciate what he does so much more

Mark Lee

ACCIDENTALLY HITS THEM WITH A NCT BONG DURING A CONCERT

ok so picture this

all the members were given some light sticks for this song to just fool around

when the song starts haechan looks at mark and is like “i dare you to recreate that video of taeyong dancing and breaking the light stick without you actually breaking the stick”

spoiler alert 

it still fucking breaks and hits you in the face

mark is screaming that he’s sorry and tells the security guards to bring you backstage

haechan is on the floor laughing because he can’t believe mark just hit a fan in the face

once mark is backstage he’s rushing around looking around for you

once he spots you he’s on his knees apologizing so hard he switches to english

you’re like “it’s ok! i’m fine! it’s just gonna bruise a little maybe”

he’s like “THAT’S EVEN WORSE”

so he’s like “how ‘bout you go out with me after the concert so i can repay you for this” 

ofc you say yes

so you two go out to get something to eat 

and mark falls for you so quick

he likes everything about you that you’ve shown so far

he also really likes the fact that you’re a fan because that means he has a chance with you since you already like him and understand what he’s doing

Haechan (Lee Donghyuck)

HE MEETS HER ON TIKTOK MAKING FUN OF RENJUN 

so this mans obvs has a tik tok

he loves the trends and seeing what fans are doing

and one day he stumbles upon your tik tok making fun of renjun 

it’s you and your friends recreating iconic nct moments and you’re the one who gets to recreate the renjun video

you know the voice crack during the my first and last era

he dies when he sees your recreation of that video

he direct messages you and asks if you guys can be friends because you seem so cool and cute

you’re like sure how bout we talk on snap 

and that’s when you find out that he’s haechan

he tells you to not say anything about his identity

you two become close and eventually meet up like regular friends

he doesn’t really remember that you’re a fan because he feels normal around you

and that’s what he really likes about you 

[princeazurathepathetic]

Okay so, Imma put some warnings about this: There is swearing, quite a bit in fact

This is about Gender Dysphoria

Very very minor Verdant Wind spoilers

Also about a young man that is trans but hasn't came out yet

Mentioned parental abuse because Count Gloucester is terrible

No Lorenz hating allowed!

Trans Lorenz

Angst

Not the happiest ending, but it's not sad either

Ty for reading, if u like it plz tell me! I also take constructive criticism. It's kinda long.

Maybe They Need Her

It was happening again. Why did this always happen? It was completely unbefitting of his station, and yet very often, Lorenz felt this way. Awkward, confused, unhappy, slightly nauseous, and anxious. He wished he wouldn't, it made social interaction so much harder, and that's almost always when it happened. 

He had been out with the rest of the Golden Deer. Raphael had suggested that they all went out to celebrate their recent victory at a local restaurant, that also happened to have a bar, pre Leonie's request. Leonie, Hilda, and the professor had jumped on the idea, Claude had seen nothing wrong with the idea, and Lysithea had immediately wanted to as soon as she'd heard that there was going to be desert. Marianne, had been wanting to push herself and participate in more social interaction, so she also thought it sounded like a good idea. And Ignatz wanted to go since Raphael was hosting it, and he would take any excuse to be around Raphael. Lorenz, of course, wanted to go as well, it wouldn't do for a noble of his class and station to be the only one not to go. Also, lately he and Claude, had started to understand each other, and he wanted to truly get to know him better. 

The night had been going extremely well, Lysithea had eaten nothing but cake the entire time, Hilda had somehow convinced half the people in the bar to buy her drinks, Raphael had eaten half the restaurant's for supply, Ignatz and Marianne both seemed to actually be enjoying themselves, and Leonie and the professor had arm wrestled a total of thirty six times. Everyone was happy, and then Hilda announced that she had promised Lysithea and Marianne that she'd take them shopping for clothes. Lysithea seemed like she would rather do anything else claiming: 

"Oh, um, we don't have to, Hilda. Don't want to ruin the party…" in which she got a 

"Nonsense! I promised you!" 

The Professor had asked if she and Leonie could come along. Leonie did NOT seem happy about that, but Hilda had agreed before she could say anything. 

"Us girls NEED to go shopping! It's the funnest thing EVER! Come on, dont’cha want some girl time?" 

"No! And I call bullshit! We could train, or spar, or literally do ANYTHING else. What's so fun about shopping and dressing up!?" 

"Come now Leonie, we'll spar after okay? That way we can do something everybody likes." 

"But Professor! I don't want to spar! That’s too much work!"

 "Hilda, it's called a compromise." 

Lorenz half listened to them as they argued their way toward the door. He wished he could go with them, but he didn't know why. What was so fun about shopping? 

Still he asked, "Are we going to go with them?"and he immediately regretted doing so. 

"And what? Buy dresses and talk about makeup? Nah. That's all girly stuff." 

"Yeah, so who wants to do something actually fun? How about a drinking contest?" 

There it was. The feeling. He didn't know why it always came on at times such as these, but it did. The anxiety, confusion, and awkwardness, was unbearable at times, and he knew deep down what caused it but he’d never admit it.  He didn't really feel like being out socialising, but he knew he wasn't going to stop, he was a noble afterall, and therefore, must set the noble standard. 

"Hey, you okay Lorenz?" 

Claude was giving him that warm smile he knew so well, but his eyes were boring into Lorenz's soul. He hated it when Claude looked at him like that. It just made him even more uncomfortable. 

"I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask, Claude?" 

"Because you look like you're about to puke." 

By the Goddess he hated how casual Claude's way of speech was, it irritated him to no end, but he'd learned to accept that Claude was never going to change. 

"Please, Claude, you think I'd get sick so easily? I’m a Gloucester, we don’t just drop dead idly.”

 “Uh huh, it’s called concern Lorenz, you don’t look so good, so I asked if you were okay. And it doesn’t look like you are, you’re being even more snappy than usual. You’re sweating profusely, and you look highly uncomfortable.”

 Oh. since when did Claude start paying such close attention to him? He wished that he didn’t, Lorenz didn’t like it when people worried unnecessarily over him. Or, really he didn’t like it when people worried about him at all, it was weird and uncomfortable to say the least. He opened his mouth to protest what Claude had said, but felt himself unable to, due to the look Claude was giving him, he really was boring into Lorenz’s soul.

 “I- uh…”

 “You know what guys? I’m gonna take Lorenz back to the monastery. He seems to be feeling unwell.”

 “What? But I have already told you, I am perfectly well.” 

But it didn’t really matter what Lorenz said as Claude steered him out of the restaurant, back toward the monastery. Although Lorenz protested the whole way back, inside he was profusely thanking the goddess for getting him out of that drinking contest. As soon as they got back into Lorenz’s dormitory, Claude shut the door, giving Lorenz his serious look. It always felt odd for Lorenz, when Claude dropped the carefree, charismatic, happy, facade, since he seldom did so. 

“So, are you going to explain to me what’s wrong?” 

“I-I don’t know what… Ahem. What you’re talking about.”

 Why was he losing his composure? The feeling still hadn’t gone away, and recently he’d been finding it hard to lie so much around Claude. 

“Come on, we both know that something’s up, and I want to know what it is. I can’t have you getting sick, we’re marching on to the Empire soon ``

''I’m not sick!” 

“Then what’s up?” 

“Listen, sometimes I just start feeling a bit... Uncomfortable -for no particular reason!- when speaking with others, but it’s not a big deal, and certainly not something a noble such as myself can’t handle.” 

“Sooo… Is it social anxiety?” 

“No. I simply feel awkward and unhappy when people speak of-” 

Lorenz cut himself off, he did not want to talk about this, especially not with Claude, even though they’d been working to better know each other, he still was a Riegan, and if word of this got to his servants or advisers, they’d use it against the entire Gloucester clan, and then his father would find out, which would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to Lorenz. “When people speak of... what?” 

“Nothing, I misspoke.” 

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

 “Possibly.” 

“Sarcasm? Really?” 

“Who said it was sarcasm?”

There was a snort of laughter from Claude’s side of the room, maybe he’d distracted Claude just enough to get out of this conversation.

“Okay, but back to the topic at hand. You know that I’m not gonna stop bugging you until you tell me.”

“Well that’s awfully mature.” 

“So… Spill it.”

“Very well, but you must swear that you will not mock me. Or tell anyone.”

“Geez Lorenz, didn’t realise it was such a terrible secret. Heh.”

“Swear Riegan!”

“Fine. I swear, Gloucester.”

“I get very anxious and uncomfortable when others around my person speak of gender.”

He spoke rather frankly in desperate hopes that it wouldn’t seem like a big deal and hopefully that Claude wouldn’t ask the questions he was dreading. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on his side that day.

“Why?”

“How should I know!? I am simply speaking the truth to your inquiries you so desperately need answered, apparently.”

Claude chose to ignore these remarks, much to Lorenz’s further irritation.

“So, lemme get this straight. You get highly uncomfortable, anxious and awkward whenever people talk about gender related topics and stuff?”

“Yes. Gender related topics, and stuff.”

“And you don’t know why.”

Claude gave Lorenz the look of ‘you better be telling the truth.’ Lorenz was fully prepared to lie. Hell, most of him wanted to lie, but there was this small part of him, the selfish part of him, who just wanted someone else to know, anyone else to know. Well except his family of course, the last thing he wanted was for them to know. And here was his opportunity, a chance handed to him on a silver plate. Maybe this was meant to happen.. Maybe this was the Goddess herself, taking pity on his sorry self, and giving him an opportunity to talk to someone. Well, if that was the case, who was he to decline a blessing from the Goddess. He answered.

“Well…”

“Come on Lorenz, tell me the truth. We’re friends now, right? I’m not gonna rat out any of your dark secrets.”

“Dark Secrets? What do you take me for? I have no ‘dark secrets’. The very notion!”

“Well, then what?”

“I just…- here it came, he was really going to say it- I don’t want… I don’t want.. To be a man.”

He’d said the last part so quietly, he’d be surprised if Claude could have possibly heard. He hadn’t.

“Sorry? Gonna have to repeat that.”

“I don’t want to  be a man!” It came out incredibly loud this time but he didn’t even care, this was something that he’d been keeping to himself since he was fourteen, and wasn’t going to come out very noble.

“I never have! That is to say, I didn’t truly give it much thought in my childhood years, but since i was fourteen years of age, I have felt uncomfortable in the identity that I had, and confused about my gender, andabout how and why others viewed me, I haven’t wanted to be seen as a man, or as anything similar since that young age, I have wanted to be… Have wanted to be a woman! That’s what I wish I was! And it makes me so confused, and anxious, and unhappy, when others start talking about male stereotypes, and gender conformity, and, and, and really about anything relating to gender. Hell, I get uncomfortable when others refer to me as ‘he’ or ‘him’. And I- I-”

Why was it so hard to breath, and the easiest it had ever been, at the same time? Why was he saying this? Why was he saying it to Calude? Why was he yelling like some drunken commoner off the streets? Why did he even feel this way? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Without starting drama? And being a disgrace to his family name? He was a noble for the goddess’s sake! He should be the picture of perfection and grace, and model for his people! Not some fucked up failure that his Father was always disappointed in! Why was he so- so-

“Lorenz, calm down. You need to breathe, ok? Everything’s okay, calm down.”

He could feel Claude;s hand on his shoulder, as he tried to calm Loenz down, he tried to look at Claude, but his vision was blurry. Tears? Why the hell was he crying!? He’s got nothing to cry about! He is lucky and privileged to be of a noble house! To be the heir to so much money and power! To be living in a time with so many changed ideals. To have crest. Unlike so many noble children who are disowned at birth, because of not having one. He is lucky. He is spoiled. So why the fuck was he breaking down so easily? If his father could see him now, he’d be screaming at him to stop embarrassing his image! Why was he like this?

“Lorenz! Listen to me! You’re okay! I’m here, you can talk to me.”

“Apologies, I-I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Lorenz, this is a lot of bottled emotion, that’s been saved up for years. Let it out.”

“I- he tried to talk. But he was heaving trying to control his emotion and breathing.

“Lorenz, If this is truly so important to you… Why don’t you change your gender? This is Fódlan. It’s gotten pretty progressive, and you know nobody here at the monastery would be a dick about it, we’re all like family here, and we’ll always support each other.”

“I thank you for the sentiment, but it’s not the Golden Deer that i worry over. I’m a noble, and as such I must meet the noble standard. If I came out as ‘transgender’ it would be the biggest scandal House Goucester has ever faced. It would ruin my family.”

“I disagree, it would be a step forward. Not backward. As you remind us yourself constantly. Us nobility have to set an example for our people, we must show them what is right. Blah blah blah. If nobody in the nobility ever adopts modern ideals, then what does that teach our people about what is wrong and what is right?”

“I understand where you are coming from, ignoring your ‘blah blah blah’s’. But I don’t ever think my family would allow such ridicule. I’d probably be disowned for just thinking about changing my gender. And that would leave House Gloucester without an heir, and that would be a total disaster.”

 

“Hey. Who’s literally in charge of The Alliance in the first place? Me. And I have absolutely taken our country’s ideals and flipped them on their head. You think I give a shit if some stuffy nobility care that I want to unite Fódlan and the rest of the world? No. I don’t. And I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did, because The Alliance nobles are quite averse to change.”

“Well, you do realise, that it is actually important for a ruler to listen to others on his council. Secondly, these are not people who I can stand to let down, this is my father and family, I refuse to be the weak link in my noble bloodline.”

“If your father would disown you for accepting modern ideals, are you sure you’re really the ‘weak link’?”

“What!? What are you even suggesting? My father is a respectable and decent man, who although at times can be a bit of a dick, is overall a proper and honorable noble!”

“Sorry, sorry. I meant no offense, and I can tell you need some time alone, but just, think about it okay? You know that me, and the rest of the Golden Deer-

“The rest of the Golden Deer and I-

“Me and the rest of the Golden Deer, are here for you and we’ll support whatever you choose to be and do. Within reason of course.”

“Thank you Claude, I promise you that I will think about it. And I must also thank you for listening to me, through my.. Er, ungraceful freakout…”

“Hey, No problem. It happens to all of us. And, hey, come find me if you ever want to talk about anything, alright?”

“Very well, I suppose I could take you up on your offer. Good night Claude. Goddess bless.”

It was quiet, alone in his dormitory, looking out the window. There was hardly a sound, the whole monastery was silent. But Lorenz could not notice, for the thousand voices in his head, debating whether what Claude said was true… Was it? Lorenz thought, and thought, maybe the noble standard had changed. Maybe his father was wrong about tramsgender and other queer folk. Maybe he did deserve to be who he wanted. Maybe, just maybe, the world needed him as he wanted to be. No not him, maybe they needed her.

Maybe…

[bhaalpit]

hey boy, you make me want to write a song

Also available on ao3

-

It’s been literally six years since I posted a fanfic, and I've always wanted to be writer so we might as well START.

DISCLAIMER!!: The song that Derek “writes” in his head is actually a Thomas Rhett song that I modified the pronouns on bc I was too lazy to write an original song plz don’t hate me or sue me Mr. Rhett. In this AU Thomas Rhett doesn’t exist lmao.

-

He doesn’t want to be here. After an eight hour work day at the pool Derek is tired, still grimy even after a hasty shower, and just wants to sleep until he has to work again tomorrow. But, after bailing on their previous outing, his friends had successfully guilted him into coming out to what looks like an impromptu bonfire beach party.

He scoops up his grocery bag (case of cider, a three-quarters full bottle of vodka, a bag of chips), and pumps himself up for at least a few hours of social interaction before exiting his car. 

“Derek!” Shielding his eyes against the glare of the setting sun, just starting to dip below the lake’s horizon, Derek spots Erica waving frantically at him. He heads in the direction of the fire and scattered blankets, sand already between his toes and under his heels. “You came!” As soon as he’s within distance, Erica flings her arms around him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes good naturally, but hugs her back. His friends are pushy in just the right ways, and Derek loves them all fiercely. “Don’t chirp me about it or I’m leaving.”

“I’ll hug your legs if you try,” she threatens. “Try me, loser.”

Isaac comes up behind him, ducking under Erica’s reaching arms to take the bag from Derek. “Hey Der, nice to see you - Erica, watch it - lemme put these in the cooler.” After Erica has finished thoroughly annoying him, Derek extricates himself, grinning despite himself, and wanders over to where Boyd is lounging on a frayed serape blanket

“Hey man.” Boyd presses a wet can into his hand. “Still alive, I see.”

“Despite Erica’s attempts at smothering me.” He pops the can open, chugging the cheap, bitter beer. He grimaces, wishing he had had the forethought to refrigerate his cider beforehand.

“You love me.” Erica plops down into Boyd’s laugh and he wraps one arm around her waist while keeping his beer from spilling. He blows a raspberry into the back of her neck and she giggles, squirming away from him.

His chest swells with a bloom of affection as he watches the two of them tussel, expertly moving his beer around their flailing limbs. He takes another sip of beer and holds back a gag. “Ugh. Isaac, can you pass me a cider? You can have the rest of my beer.”

Isaac snorts. “Sure, man. The cider’s still room temperature though.”

“Anything is better than this. I’m literally begging you.”

Isaac snickers, but fetches a can out of the cooler. “Here, you big baby.” The cider is barely anything colder than when he brought it from home, but at least he won’t gag after every sip. Beer is nasty and no one will ever convince him otherwise. “Scott just texted me. They’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”

 Derek is well into his second can of cider, loose limbed enough that he is slumped comfortably into Boyd’s side, when Scott and the others show up in a beat-up blue jeep and an old red convertible. They spill out, laughing and waving at them from the parking lot. It’s almost too dark to distinguish their figures from the darkness of the night settling around them.

As they approach, Derek recognizes almost everyone in the group, except for one broad-shouldered, narrow-hipped lanky boy with amber eyes, a ski-tipped nose, and a smattering of beauty marks. Although there is something vaguely familiar about his eyes, Derek is sure he hasn’t met him before. He would have remembered.

Feeling suddenly too warm and too big for his skin, Derek stumbles to his feet. It��s nearing the end of August, so the air is still heavy and thick as it settles around him. Derek rolls his shoulders, the fabric sticking slightly to his back.

The group of them finally reach the bonfire, and Derek waits for the introductions, stupidly. They’re a bunch of teenagers and twenty-somethings - no one does introductions, you either know someone or you fumble your way into knowing someone. The amber-eyed boy meets his gaze for a short moment before his eyes skitter away. Derek swallows, hard.

“-erek. Derek?” His head snaps up guiltily. Kira is wiggling her fingers in front of his face.

“Yes? Sorry, I zoned out for a second.” He has to physically stop his head from turning to follow the figure walking at the peripheral of his vision. 

Kira narrows her eyes, considering. “Hm. Distracted by something?”

He dangles his can of cider in front of her. “I am drunk ma’am.” He tilts the can up, frowning when nothing comes out. “And I am out of alcohol. Please excuse me.” He attempts to bow, and judging from her giggle, looks ridiculous for it. 

Also, the boy is by the cooler and Derek desperately needs to know his name. He tosses his can into the garbage bag, pinned into the sand with several large rocks, and heads toward the cooler. Scott is there, one tanned arm slung around the boy as they stand directly in his way. Derek would be annoyed if he wasn’t so smitten. 

“Hey.” Does his voice sound normal? Oh, God, he hopes he sounds cool. “Uh, could I get in there -?” He gestures to the two of them, hoping for the boy to slip in his name.

“Oh!” The amber-eyed boy jumps a little, shuffling away from Scott guiltily. “Sorry about that!”

Derek flashes a smile. “No worries.” He waits for a few beats, then turns to rifle through the mess of half melted ice. When he turns around with a wet can in his hand, the amber-eyed boy is digging his elbow into Scott’s stomach.

“Derek, this is Stiles!” Scott exclaims, suddenly and a bit too loudly. The other boy, Stiles, elbows him again, but turns to face Derek. “Uh, I realize you probably hadn’t met him. And, uh. Yeah.”

Pulse racing, Derek nods at Stiles in a hopefully-cool way. “Cool. Yeah, I don’t think we’ve met before? I’m Derek.”

Stiles smiles, a bit shyly. “I’m just here for the summer. Scott and I have been friends forever so he’s showing me around.” His fingers, wrapped around the neck of a brown bottle, are distracting. 

“Oh?” He shuffles closer, belatedly realizing that Scott is heading away from the two of them. “Where are you from?”

“Not far from here - I live over in the next county, but I lived here in Beacon Hills until I was, uh, ten. And then we moved.” He scratches the back of his neck, his face tight with what looks like discomfort. “But Scott and I stayed really good friends.”

Derek has a sudden, vivid flashback of a thin, waif-like child wearing a hoodie down to his knees with a bandaid across the bridge of his nose. Sitting in a hospital waiting room across from him. “I -  I think I remember you?” Stiles’ eyes widen. “Did you have a Mets sweatshirt when you were a kid?”

“I didn’t think you’d remember me,” Stiles says quietly.

Dirty white sneakers, knobby knees, a packet of - “- Reese cups?” When Stiles smiles, his eyes crinkle. “I hadn’t thought about it in years. I think I forgot about it because - well.” Derek cuts himself off before he can put a complete damper on the conversation. “I just forgot, I guess.”

Stiles smiles, a little bit sadly and a lot in understanding. “You seemed so cool to ten year old me. I think you had a walkman and I was so jealous of you.”

Derek snorts, grasping at the new conversation thread in relief. “I was probably listening to Green Day or something equally ‘edgy’.”

“Definitely cooler than me, then.”

They’re interrupted by someone yelling “Derek!” He sighs, turning to see who’s yelling at him this time. It’s Isaac, brandishing - his guitar? Derek had left it in the backseat of his car, but clearly he had forgotten to lock it. “Come play some tunes, man!” Everyone by the fire turns to look at him, expectant.

Stiles makes a noise beside him. “You can play guitar?” Stiles asks. Then, under his breath, “of course you do.”

Derek shrugs, the back of his neck prickling with the sudden attention. “I’m alright, I guess. You coming?” He jerks his head over to the fire and Stiles nods frantically.

“Abso-lutely.”

He settles once he’s sitting down with the guitar under his hands, fingers lazily sweeping over the strings as he tunes the old thing. The guitar is old, gifted to him by his mother, but it’s well-made and will last Derek many, many more years.

“Any requests?” Derek asks, strumming a few chords. He starts to play Wonderwall with a shit-eating grin, Isaac flips him off, and Boyd gets up and starts dramatically walking away from the fire.

Kira snickers and offers “Van Morrison?”

“Brown-eyed girl it is,” he confirms, strumming a G chord, and then they’re in it. Derek might hate being the center of attention, but it’s different when he’s playing like this. With the flow of music under his fingertips, the singing voices cresting on either side of him, he feels a part of something. He’d never ever perform, but this? This warmth, sitting in a circle of familiar and not-yet-familiar faces, all of them suspended in this moment, together? He could do this forever.

Derek cycles through the usual fireside songs - Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, John Denver, Eagles, Tracy Chapman, Howie Day, Gavin DeGraw. Somewhere in the midst of it all, Derek catches Stiles’ gaze across the flames, his eyes luminous with the reflection of fire in them, and very nearly forgets to keep playing. And then Derek has to fight against the urge to start strumming an entirely different song, one about whiskey and smoke and stars and falling to his knees.

His fingers fumble on the fret and he hastily looks away, focusing on something safe - the fire, which reminds him of how it had looked reflected in Stiles’ eyes, so he looks at the sand instead. Dark blue in the shadow of the night sky, except for where the fire cuts across it in swaths of glowing orange.

After what feels like hours of playing, the energy of the circle has dipped and levelled out to something mellow and relaxed. Derek’s playing has mostly become background music to a number of side conversations, and at least one makeout session, so he starts strumming Closing Time before he puts his guitar away.

Someone snickers from beside him; Stiles has moved from across the fire to beside him. He was concentrating so hard on not staring at him that he somehow missed Stiles moving from his spot. “Very subtle,” Stiles says.

Derek grins over at him. Stiles is staring at his fretboard, his lashes dark against his cheek. “I’m glad someone appreciates my very subtle song choices.” Derek carefully packs his guitar up, considers leaving it on one of the unoccupied blankets, but decides to keep it on him. 

The night is so clear that the moon’s path is reflected on the rippling surface of the lake. The sky is dripping in stars and Derek desperately wants to walk along the shore of this moonlit lake, wants to hold Stiles hand while he does it because he is, apparently, the world’s sappiest twenty year old guy.

“You want to go for a walk?” Stiles asks. He’s already slipping out of his flip flops, chucking them carelessly over to the side, so he misses Derek’s (probably besotted) look in his direction.

“You read my mind.” Derek digs his toes past the warm sand into the cooler layer underneath. Stiles whoops and races for the shoreline, splashing into ankle-deep water. He is bathed in silver, splashing liquid moonlight everywhere. He looks like some kind of carefree, fae-like god, frolicking along the edges of a sea of stars.

Derek needs to stop writing song lyrics in his head and actually talk to the boy.

Guitar in tow, Derek follows suit and wades into the cold water. “Shit,” he swears, darting back out of the water. “It’s fucking freezing.” Stiles laughs at him as he sticks one toe back in the water.

“Didn’t you grow up here? Shouldn’t you be used to this?”

“I am a warm-blooded creature, thank you very much.” Derek gestures down the stretch of empty beach. “C’mon, I want to show you something.”

“Ooh, are you leading me to a secret hideout?” Stiles asks, excitedly.

“Well - no. But, it’s a close second.” This answer does nothing to deter Stiles’ enthusiasm as they splash along the quiet shore. After a few minutes, they come across Derek’s something - a small, hidden rocky cove out of sight of the rest of the beach. Most of the boulders here are wide and flat, perfect for lounging or sitting on. Derek leads them to a collection of rocks a little ways down, carefully setting his guitar case down and hopping up onto the rock next to it.

“Wow,” Stiles breathes, settling down next to him. “This is gorgeous, Derek.”

Derek is a cliche because he very nearly sighs out “yes,” in response while blatantly staring at Stiles. Instead, he forces himself to look at the scenery, which pales in comparison to the way the moonlight turns Stiles’ skin luminous and otherworldly. His skin is like the inverse of the sky stretched out above them; a pale, glowing canvas pricked with dark constellations.

“What song is that? I haven’t heard it before.”

Derek pauses mid-hum; he hadn’t realized he was humming anything. And then he realizes he’s humming the song that ‘s been writing itself in his head ever since he laid eyes on Stiles. Shit. “It’s original.”

Stiles raises his brows in appreciation. “You a songwriter as well?”

Derek shrugs, but can’t help the pleased grin that sneaks out. “I guess. It’s kinda unavoidable for me. Sometimes I just see someone - something, I mean - and I start mentally writing lyrics.”

Stiles hums, leaning back onto his hands. His legs, constant pendulums, keep shifting so that their knees knock together. Stiles pauses, letting his leg rest against Derek’s. “Will you sing me one?”

His guitar is in his lap before he’s even said the word “yes” out loud. He places his fingers against the fretboard, imagines places his fingers the same way against a set of ribs, a white throat, and begins to sing. He keeps his voice as low as possible, quiet and husky in the fragile not-quite-silence on this secluded strip of beach,

Hey boy, you make me wanna write a song

Sit you down, sing it to you all night long

I've had a melody in my head since you walked in here and knocked me dead

Yeah boy, you make me wanna write a song

And it goes like ooh, what I wouldn't do

To write my name on your heart, get you wrapped in my arms baby all around you

And it goes like hey, boy I'm blown away

Yeah it starts with a smile and it ends with an all night long slow kiss

Yeah it goes like this

Stiles’ eyes have gone a dark, molten amber; either due to being away from the campfire or something else, Derek doesn’t know. His hands are remarkably steady as he plays, despite his heart beating so hard it feels like it’s trying to leap out of his chest, directly into Stiles’ hands. Stiles has nice hands - long-fingered and strong-boned - and Derek thinks tt wouldn’t be so bad, probably, if that were to happen.

His thigh is burning through denim where Stiles is pressed close, no longer subtly brushing their knees together. When he’s finished strumming the last notes of the song, letting them fade into the sound of rolling waves, he decides it’s now or never. Gently setting the guitar aside, Derek leans forward to almost-whisper into Stiles’ ear.

“Hey, Stiles,” Derek whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you now?”

Stiles’ scrunches his nose up into a shy smile and he nods, swaying toward Derek.

Derek catches him behind the neck, thumb in front of one blushing ear, and rushes to meet him halfway in a bruising kiss. He’s just drunk enough that he feels loose and floaty, but not clumsy and sloppy. He’s clear-headed enough to feel the nerves and butterflies inside him roll into a low buzz of excitement as he leans into the kiss.

Stiles runs his tongue over Derek’s bottom lip, one hand sliding up into Derek’s hair and the other is warm on Derek’s thigh. He tugs gently, pulling Derek closer, and he moves into it. Kissing Stiles is like the waves sliding up on the shore, tugged by the moon’s gravity, except Derek is the water and Stiles is his moon.

When they separate to breathe and calm their racing hearts down, Derek keeps Stiles close with an arm settled around his waist. He looks breathtaking in the moonlight, with his hair unruly and his lips reddened, so Derek tells him. Stiles flushes, squirming a little, but beams at him. “Derek Hale, are you a romantic?” he teases.

“Only around you,” Derek replies honestly.

“Oh, you’re so unfair.” Stiles ducks his head down so blow a raspberry against Dereks’ throat in apparent retaliation. He kisses the same spot right after and Derek shivers.

“What?” Derek’s lost the thread of the conversation somehow.

“S’not fair that you’re hot and romantic and ernest about it,” Stiles explains. “You’re going to kill me.”

Oh. Derek smiles at him helplessly, shrugging his shoulders. He can’t think of anything funny to say back; his mind is writing lyrics again and he can’t focus on anything else. But before he let’s it run rampant, he has something very important to ask Stiles. He takes Stiles hand in his.

“Stiles, will you go out with me?”

That seems to startle a laugh out of Stiles, who appeases Derek’s offended look immediately. “Wait, wait, I’m not laughing at you, I just. You had your tongue down my throat five minutes ago and now you’re asking me out like a gentleman.”

“Well, I wanted to be clear that I, y’know, like you. Like in a date-you way not just in a this”, Derek motions between them, “way.” He sighs, his shoulders slumping a bit. He always messes things up somehow. “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not!” Stiles holds their clasped hands up to his chest, speaking fiercely. “It’s really sweet, Derek. No one’s ever said that to me before, I was just caught off guard.” Any trace of the earlier teasing is gone, replaced by a very serious looking Stiles. “That was - you’re something else, Derek Hale. I mean that in the best way possible.”

“Oh.” Derek doesn’t know what else to do, so he just sits there while his cheeks heat up.

“And yes, by the way. I would love to go on a date with you.” Stiles smiles at him so softly that Derek wants to sing about sunlight and spring buds and early mornings. He doesn’t realize he’s started humming again, until Stiles asks him if he’s writing another song in his head. 

“Dammit,” he swears. “I can’t seem to help myself around you.”

Stiles looks impossibly fond and just kisses the corner of his mouth, asking, “will you play me another song?”

And Derek says, “always,” and he means it.

[livingasaghost]

is this too personal? should it go on my private journal blog? maybe so. but i don’t fucking care.

listen i know to fall in love is like THE PEAK of the human experience (for some people, or at least that’s what the allo world has led me to believe) and i do in fact know it EXISTS like i know true love is real and it’s out there and people are living a fairytale where someone will stay married to you for like 30+ years and they will do ANYTHING you ask them too just bc they think you’re cool but like.........the fuck of it all is that i still believe romance isn’t meant for me

way back when i started this blog when i was but a dumb high school child i would always get pent up on line UGH ALAS NO ONE WILL LOVE ME I AM GROSS AND STUPID! (which like...valid) and i kept feeling shitty bc everyone was falling in love (none of those couples save the one shitty one survived that hellhole) and no boys would pay attention to me (me, a girl who stayed at home 90% of the time, did no extra curriculars outside of guitar lessons, and did not EVER interact with the boys in her classes unless forced to) and also i think i just hated myself (still valid sometimes) ...wait where was i going with this...OH YEAH i kept feeling sorry for myself bc NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME and it felt like some huge travesty that no guy would ever tell me he thinks i’m special and beautiful and that he would do my laundry for me if i asked (the golden standard honestly). which like...in some ways, might be true. i do think true love is special and i think everyone deserves a shot at finding that, but i think it’s been cool to see my views on all this change over the past few years.

it’s not that i don’t believe in love. it’s not even that i believe i’m undeserving of it or that no man will ever find me attractive (bc honey i am GORGEOUS and i don’t CARE). like i think if i put myself out there and did try to go on dating apps or meet people at parties or go to bars i COULD do it. like i DID go on a date last year and that guy was VERY MUCH into me. and it was sweet. it was nice to have those nervous butterflies bc OMG WAIT YOU THINK IM CUTE??? NO WAY like yes that was nice! so clearly it can happen! it’s a thing! but like...i think i’ve become more exposed to that stuff and i’ve been in those situtations and i’ve realized that i am much more aroace than i thought. i still don’t think i’m aro, by any means, bc i genuinely love romance books (which means i like romance yes????? who’s to say) but like...man the idea of being IN A RELATIONSHIP...it’s weird man. 

what’s odd is that up until like...2008/2009ish i don’t think i EVER was fantasizing about marriage/falling in love...at least not like that, not dramatically. i remember in 8th grade i went to oh lord it was a BIBLE STUDY OF ALL PLACES and the girls were like “so are you praying for your future husband????” and i was like uhhh what and then i SPIRALED SO HARD after that bc i was like FUCK I MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE HUSBAND!!! WOW!!!! A WEDDING IS SO PRETTY!!! I SHOULD HAVE THAT!! I GET TO HAVE THAT!! THE UNIVERSE/GOD OWES ME THAT!!!! I’M GONNA BE THAT!!!! and like the fuck of it all is that if i had never had that realization, had never seen bride wars or started a journal to my future husband (PLZ LAUGH BC IT’S THE SADDEST MOST HETERO THING I HAVE EVER DONE AND I HATE IT BUT I KEEP IT BC IT’S A JOURNAL OF THAT TIME OF MY LIFE) i don’t think i would have spiraled so much in high school fearing i’d end up alone. like sure when i started reading romance books i got sad too, but i don’t think i realized until that age that like...i was so invested in marriage? (yes we switched from love to married we’ll get to that - apparently it’s therapy time????) like i think i always assumed it’d happen for me bc doesn’t everyone get married and have kids? (my sweet summer child oh boy the brainwashing was deep) and it’s like.......fine. bc marriage is fine. love is fine and great whatever. (and i had a great marriage to learn from) but also...........all those expectations were pinned upon me when in actuality what i’m realizing now is that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!!!!!!

like i’ve been to a number of weddings now and i’ve seen friends get engaged, have breakups, fall headfirst in love and then fall out it just as quick, i’ve seen friends be single and have hook-ups and get married and have their heart broken and like....even though in my heart of hearts i know it’s worth it if you find it, i also know that i wouldn’t know how to handle it. like i’ve read books about it all, i’ve listened to the songs, hell i HAVE watched other people go through it all...but i still don’t know what mine would be. bc the fuck of it all is that 1) i rarely feel attraction to anyone, and i haven’t met someone i’ve been attracted to since 2010 (!!!!) 2) at the end of the day i don’t think i necessarily want a physical relationship (which is kind of half the reason people marry right?) and 3) i don’t think i can imagine myself being that intimate with another person. 

is it possible? yes. maybe one day in another 10 years i’ll make another leap and i’ll be living somewhere like new york and i’ll meet some guy through a job or through travel or through some weird twist of fate and we DO hit it off and everything works out and suddenly i realize that i can only be comfortable with this ONE person and thus we take it slow and eventually get physical and get married and HOORAY ITS ALL FINE IM NORMAL and as it turns out the gut feeling i had at 16 was correct and i AM actually demisexual! could happen. i wouldn’t be totally shocked. but i also know that right now...it’s not a possibility. it would take a LOT for me to be in that place. and i think that’s the difference. ten years ago in high school i just assumed i was normal, i assumed if i got what i thought i wanted it’d all work out and be fine and i’d be happy bc I WAS IN LOVE. but the fuck of it all is that that first date i had? it was proof that you should be careful what you wish for. i don’t want a boy to kiss me. i don’t want a boy to hold my hand. i want someone to talk to, who likes what i like, who supports me and thinks i’m cool, who’ll buy me nice presents sometimes and see me for who i am and not run away. and honestly? i HAVE THAT. i have a few people like that actually.

what i realized was that what i ACTUALLY want, is for the butterfly feeling. that feeling you get where you’re like nervous bc the other person said they think you’re cute and they want to learn more about you and they’re interested in you and they SEE YOU and you feel the same way about them and you think they’re nice to look at and they think you’re nice to look at. that’s what i want. i want the butterflies. i want to be attracted to someone. i haven’t felt that in GOD so many FUCKING YEARS. i mean i feel that with fictional characters sure, but we all know that’s stupid and doesn’t count. 

like i kid you not i’ve only been attracted to two (possibly 3, but i’m not counting the 3rd) people in my entire life. just two. (i don’t count the celebrities and characters and things although i guess if i did it’d be up to like 5-10 maybe) but like people i’ve met? two. that’s it. and it’s all so STUPID. bc it DOESN’T MATTER! like i feel weird being like LOVE ISN’T FOR ME I DON’T WANT IT! bc it feels like a lie and i do know i would like someone to fall in love with me. but genuinely, truly, i feel like a different person that the hopeless girl i was in 2010 bc...i don’t need it. i don’t know what i’d do with it. i don’t want someone to touch me. 

the great thing about all this that i realized a long time ago is that this bitch is never going to have a bad heartbreak. and i know the saying better to have loved than never love at all.......but i do love. i love all the time so much that sometimes i can’t breathe. i just...don’t have that kind of love. and it’s okay. bc no one will EVER hurt me like that. 

like i always said if i WAS going to fall in love it would happen ONCE like i will not be dating multiple people in my lifetime, hell i probably won’t even go on that many dates without finding THE PERSON bc in part i don’t put myself out there often, but mainly bc i KNOW people. i know myself, i know what i want, i have intuition about all that and i truly genuinely think that if i ever found it, it’d be that or nothing. bc i also think the person i’d be into would be similar. and i know people probably think that’s stupid and also there’s nothing wrong with dating a lot of people in your lifetime, in falling in love more than once, but like...i’m not that kind of person. i think part of me really does believe in soulmates, even if there is some level of free will in the world outside of determinism. 

but because i feel like that, and bc of my very VERY private personality (who doesn’t let people in easily, who doesn’t care casually, who doesn’t give my heart away without protecting itself) i just don’t think i’d ever let myself...oh no here is a dark truth YIKES...i don’t think i’d ever let myself feel that deeply about someone. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well this is an interesting thought

which is the PERFECT start to a romance novel i might add

like i feel a LOT don’t get me wrong. i may repress my emotions but ya girl has a lot of passion a lot of love a lot of feelings for things. and i do love some people A LOT. like friends mainly. i love them SO MUCH (too much) and the ones who are STILL my friends...i have learned how to let them live their lives. i love them desperately, they inevitably let me down or move or fall in love (jesus christ it’s the worst) or whatever, and then things shift and i tell myself “hey you know what? it’s okay, you’re clearly no longer the most important thing in their life, so you can just pull back and not invest so much in them bc clearly they want to invest in other things and that���s okay!!” and then i move all my affection to someone else who DOES want it at that time, and thus i let people go bc i give them the space i assume they need and then the space gets to big and we can’t overcome it bc i don’t know what i’m supposed to fight or go back or try again or whatever and then they don’t fight for me (maybe bc i didn’t fight first, maybe bc they just stopped caring about me) and then suddenly...it’s over and i’m sad but i’ve put so much distance between us that i don’t really feel anything anymore. like oh my god what the fuck

literally my heart’s self-destruct protocol is that when i notice someone slipping away and stop caring about me i just assume the worst and immediately stop caring about them and then they can’t really hurt me. so the ones who HAVE hurt me are the ones who directly called me out and lied to me or did something bad. most of the people i drifted from who i once ADORED really only stopped being close to me because i thought they didn’t want me around anymore and i didn’t want to be annoying. (or bc i pushed them away bc i didn’t want them but that’s another thing) so like truly i think it would have to be someone being MEAN to me out of nowhere bc otherwise i’d just be like “it’s cool, we grew apart, i’ll get over it” (which i dont believe someone who really loved me would do) ahhhhhhhhhhhh

...

so anyway we all know this is hypothetical and obviously i wouldn’t know how i’d genuinely react if i fell in love but we also know that i WON’T fall in love in the next 5-10 years (prove me wrong by tyler joseph) but it’s fucking VALENTINES DAY WEEK and literally this happens every year bc i try and convince myself that HEY! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! but then sometimes i think FUCK! I WANT TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! and it’s like honestly yeah mood....but they can coexist. i want to fall in love. i know i would not do well in a romantic relationship right now. i also know i deserve love, and i would be a great partner to someone. but i also know it’s all complicated and fucked up and difficult and i don’t meet people anyway and i wonder if my real partner is somewhere waiting in new york and and and and and and and i’m just so FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL!!!!!!! truly!!!!! i’m sick of feeling inadequate just bc i don’t want to kiss a boy. i’m sick of feeling obligated to fall into society’s romantic norms. i’m sick of waiting for someone to love me and treat me well when i have people who do that already. i’m sick of my friends falling in love, sick of people having their heart broke bc they fall for shitty people...i’m sick of shitty people breaking other people’s hearts for no reason. i’m sick of my awesome parents and their absolutely beautiful true love. i’m sick of being single. i’m sick of daydreaming about what it’d be like to be romantically attracted to someone. i’m sick of reading romance books and i’m sick of wishing i was in one. i’m sick of being asexual. i’m sick of allosexual people. i’m sick of watching people make out. i’m sick of my friends falling in love and then treating their friends like shit just bc they only care about their significant other. i’m sick of VALENTINES DAY!!! i’m sick of weddings!!!! i’m sick of conventional hetero norms!!!! i’m sick of love songs and dating apps and feeling like my worth is tied to someone loving me romantically. i’m sick of SEX OH MY GOD PLZ MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!! 

i can’t believe my therapist tried to tell me that i would always be a little lonely if i never had a romantic/sexual partner. fuck that. you don’t need anything but your friends and your family and your own self love. god is big enough.

I’M NOT LONELY I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND ME AND LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM!!!!!

...

just had a weird thought that i can never be an authentic christian bc half my friends aren’t christian so around them i act like christanity is a joke (in some ways it is?) but i also can’t be authentic around my christian friends bc some of the things they say i can’t fully stand behind either bc i am a secular person too and it’s just like WE REALLY CAN’T WIN HUH GOD!!!!! i love being unknowable!!!! at least i have laura shes the only person who understands both sides that’s nice

oh my god i get to hug laura the day after tomorrow 

...

anyway. 

can’t wait to be the random single family member who shows up at all the family gatherings while all my cousins get married and have kids! i finally have accepted that i get to live that dream and WOW IT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

[charlyoddsox27]

random tf2 thoughts #2

Hey I just realised, getting into tf2 is the perfect opportunity to rejoin the Tumblr rp community.

...buuut I've had bad experiences with it in the past...specifically with the Pokémon rp community. It was great don't get me wrong, but I'm much more wary now. I only roleplay with close, trusted friends now...buuut I also really wanna rp some tf2. So here goes;

If any of y'all wanna roleplay some tf2 with me, my Discord is Charlyoddsox27#1971. Right now I have a very strong muse for Medic but I would also be down for playing Demoman, Spy, Pyro, Zhanna, Sniper, anyone really I'm just desperate for interaction plz shoot me a DM if you're interested I'm gonna close my attention-whore legs now~

[damnjooon]

Don't reject me|2

Genre: Fluff, some mild angst|ManagerAu

Words: 1210

Part: 1 2

The sound of heavy breathing echoed through your ears, flustering your eyes wide open. Out of all the positions capable in such a spacious chair, you were resting on Jungkooks broad shoulder as he inhaled and exhaled through his nose. You scanned over the plane, blackness only greeting you, both glad that you woke up first and that nobody witness you and Jungkook.

You had to admit, Jungkook wasn’t shabby, at all. Sometimes you would subconsciously drown yourself in his countenance, his physical abilities and him as a person, not a idol. But the thought of business only, prevented you from expressing your emotions, persistently reminding yourself that emotions were strictly forbidden from your career. You found yourself commending Jungkooks bloated and lifeless face. Eyes following his jawline all the way to his swollen lips. When was the last time I kissed someone?

2:37AM Jimin: I see you~ ;)

You felt a chill zip down your spine, like in the rare horror movies you watched that successfully scared the living shit out of you.

2:38AM y/n: that’s not scary at all, how can u see me?

2:38AM Jimin: A. Jungkooks TVs on and B. Im sitting next to the two of u ;)

2:38AM y/n: Wat r u still doing up, plane lands in 3ish hours.

2:39AM Jimin: DON’T CHANGE THE TOPIC! I took pics of u two…

2:39AM Jimin: … They’re cute ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Jimin spammed you with all the photos he took of the small moment you shared with Jungkook. Eyes glued to the screen, you noticed a trail of saliva forming from your mouth, onto Jungkooks shoulder. Feeling embarrassed, you removed your eyes from the screen to observe what you selflessly left behind. Your cheeks were burning, concerned what Jungkook would think. Grabbing a unused tissue from your jacket, you dabbed at the substance, praying Jungkook doesn’t feel the sudden pressure.

Jk: “Its ok y/n” -his voice husky from the nap he took.

Y/n: “I’m really sorry Jungkook” you idiot what if its noticeable.

Jk: “Y/n it’s ok, really. Honestly don’t worry nobody will see”

Jungkook softly placed his hand on his shoulder, removing your frantically moving hands. Cute. You weren’t sure if Jungkook was half asleep, but after he removed your hand from his shoulder, he was still gripping on to your hand. You couldn’t believe that such a muscular and manly hand could feel like a babys bottom, soft and velvety.

After you heard faint snores escape Jungkooks mouth, you situated your hands from his, warmth evaporating from your now isolated hand.

Without anything more important to do, you got up to explore the plane. Passing Jungkook was your next mission. After you lightly passed by Jungkook successfully, you went to find Jigaemae, wishing you could find some comfort around your closest friend on board. By squinting your eyes in the dark, you some how hoped it gave you the power to see clearly…It didn’t. After strolling up and down the aisle three times, you gave up trying to find him, heading straight to the toilet suit.

You were so used to being crammed inside a two meter cube that was mainly taken up by the toilet, but instead there was a shower and a bath, with a high tech toilet, you were hands down amazed.

Jm: “What you doing?”

Y/n: “What the hell Jimin!”

Jm: “I saw you walking up and down the plane, so I came to check if you were ok.”

Y/n: “I’m fine thanks, just amazed thas all”

Jm; “I know right, the bathroom is giant”

y/n: “Yeah~~”

Silence interrupted your conversation, slowly becoming awkward as time ticked by.

y/n: “Well, better go before people wake up to find us gone, they’ll think we did..stuff haha”

Jm: “yeah, you should learn to lock the door, imagine what would’ve happen if it weren’t me.”

You trailed behind Jimin like a lost puppy, mentally cursing yourself for failing to recall locking the door. As you returned to your seating accommodation, Jungkook was awake. Just moments ago he was a ball of fluff, fiddling with your hand. But now, he looked displeased, displeased to see you and Jimin leave the bathroom at the same time. All he did was intensely eye you from head to toe, making you somehow nervous.

Y/n: "E-excuse me"

Jungkook sat up in his chair giving you space to slide past him. You weren't sure how you managed it but you fell over your own feet landing on Jungkooks crouch. Painful moans left his mouth, making near by spectators look in the direction of the noise. You got up as soon as you landed, plotting yourself down on your chair flustered by the movement. You silently apologized to Jungkook as he bent over in agony.

Even though you basically crushed his member, he felt oddly satisfied. Sinful thoughts repeated in his hectic mind; unraveling you right there, without care on who witnesses. Involuntarily, your eyes glanced at his member but regretting soon after. It was clearly noticeable, bulging out of the jean material. When you peered at him, Jungkook also mirrored your action but his stare was full of lust. Out of discomfort, you whipped your phone out, avoiding Jungkooks presence.

3:04AM y/n: Mann I'm idiotic 😅😖

3:05AM Jigaemae: I know... Why?

3:05AM y/n: first i droll on Jungkook, leaving a whole pool on his shoulder. AND. Aigoo~ I honestly broke his dik cause i tripped over thin air and somehow landed on him. Help a friend 😣

3:06AM Jigaemae: lol...*walks out of room* shoulda helped me in the airport~

3:06AM y/n: SAVE ME! Seen

Being the incredible friend Jigaemae was, he left you hanging, no signs of replying to your desperate calls.

Y/n: "Fuck you, Jigaemae"-whispering to yourself.

Only Jungkook heard your small rant that you had directed to yourself. You looked out the window, the moon and clouds only in sight. Jungkook mean while, was hungry, starving. He wanted some sort of attention from you, weather it be good or bad. His desperation led to him slapping his hand onto your covered thigh. He didn't even know what he did, until he noticed your reaction. Studying his hand and your face. After a few seconds of realisation, Jungkook reclaimed his hand turning the opposite direction as he burnt up like a grill. What the fuck kook why the fuck did I touch her!

It was indeed unexpected, the flight to Europe felt as if it was a flight to the Moon. You prayed with fervour, pleading that your unusual interaction with Jungkook was kept unprecedented. To avoid the strong sense of awkwardness that hovered above the both of you, you impelled your eye lids shut, letting the music from your earphones hush your inquisitive thoughts.

Once Jungkook heard your muffled slurs and witnessed your chest inflating and deflating he let himself examine you vehemently. Finger on lips, he slid closer to your warmth, inhaling your freshly smelt perfume, lips inches away from yours. Without sign of constraint, he let his lips faintly graze yours, temptation controlling his actions causing him to add more pressure.

JG: "Yah Jungkook-ah!"

Staggered by the increase of volume, you ripped your eyes open, welcomed to the sight of Jungkooks face meer inches from yours...

A/N: Dukin hell this is so dukin chip! This is so bad im sorry for wasting your time...A girl got carried away and is now regretting everything bout this part. Plz leave me wat u think HONEST OPINION...Thank U. p.s that stupid tomato song is stuck in my head!

Like and Follow...

For even more failed attempts of trying to make a decent series

[empresswrites]

Anonymous said:

Hi, I was wondering if you could do a vamp!ace x marco plz? (maybe Sabo too?

MarcoAceSabo pairing commenced, but sort of established SaboAce? As in the beginning a little run down as they got together. Also, this is late, I’m trash XD But anyways, this hit me and just ran away so here you are. Spanish is involved, but I know very little and looked on translator, so excuse it being awful. I tried my best and tried to find a few areas to look. I need to stop slacking on my lessons ^^; They are basically explained in reactions and the following sentence. Enjoy!

It was a simple mistake when he first met the man, he dressed that of the time he had died and thought maybe he had been one as well. Ace had been sorely wrong, approaching the blond had him finding out that he was not actually from that time as he talked some more. Ace had thought he found someone to relate to, someone he would never have to change to be with him as a friend or partner. Being wrong left him to start stumbling to make up that he liked that era and tried emerging himself as much when he could, instead of admitting he had been a part of it. Hearing the chuckles from Sabo had been a delight and he felt himself clenching that he was falling for a human so much.

“Just one time,” Sabo had mentioned with suggestion dancing within those green eyes that Ace really questioned if he was his kind or not. 

“Okay,” Ace had agreed while being dragged from the living room of Sabo’s place and enter a room full of nothing but forbidden fruits to be bitten.

The first time Ace had bit Sabo had been on accident, in a rush as they began a relationship and he loved being bit by those dull teeth so much. It set him over the edge for the first time and craving as he hadn’t got his supply yet. Biting Sabo had sent the other in a heated frenzy at the time, but Sabo had not pushed him away once they cooled down.

“Do it again...” Sabo had mentioned raspy, attacking Ace with his own dull bites and sent a growl ripping through a throat for more of the attention.

“Not him,” Ace blanches as the two sit at a cafe. It was settled that being at a club brought more of a sour twist than what Ace preferred, Sabo serious in making him comfortable on feeding. Finding someone to feed in between for Sabo, Ace had grown used to it and only had a supplier on occasion to not make it too suspicious for the man who provides.

“Yeah, he kind of gives asshole vibes...” Sabo agrees while flickering eyes as he takes a sip of coffee and scanning the street. When his eyes lock onto a blond in a suit and on his phone while looking to the cross walk signal, he lightly chokes. “Ace, him.” A nod is lightly given in one direction and Ace turns with a stretch this time and almost slips out of his chair.

“Ay papi~! Tráelo.“ Hands had moved to making a ‘come here’ motion in front of him, grinning to Sabo. A small laugh leaves Sabo at the words and soon looks more as the businessman is coming to the cafe, blue eyes flickering to his watch after crossing the crosswalk and phone put away.

“Ve a por ello.” Sabo mentions, barely getting it out as Ace is rising smoothly with his grace that Sabo could never get over. Watching as Ace gets to line for a croissant and mocha, the businessman is behind him with a hand running through his short hair, shaved on the sides and back. Sabo smiles in amusement, Ace using the present knowledge to flirt and staying up with it and practicing so much on him that it made him chuckle so much at being cute and sexy at the same time.

Standing to the side, they both wait for their coffees and Ace’s charisma starts picking up. Getting the other interacting swiftly, though seeming in a bad mood and sees it slowly change as Ace is pulling cheesy smiles and jokes. Sometimes the best someone could do is pull out corny jokes and being a dork to get someone reeled in. Sabo thinks that Ace has it in the bag before Ace falters with a frown and scrunching his face as this businessman slides a hand to a bare forearm. It clearly makes Ace tense and he shifts a hand as a signal for Sabo to come sweep him away.

Sabo is quick to move with his coffee and appears at the counter to grab Ace’s mocha and food. “Hey, babe,” he greets as dark eyes find him quickly with relief and Sabo shifts to kiss to a freckled cheek before looking to the other man. “Who’s your friend?”

“Cazador.” The word rolls from Ace easily as Sabo knows that this person is unsafe, a hunter, and moves to pat at the hand grasping his lover.

“Please let go, Sir.” Sabo meets blue eyes and sees a smirk before doing so. “Come on, babe. You have too much charm for your own good,” he jokes on and notices as the businessman tilts his head with an interested look.

“Sabes que es un demonio de sangre.” The language leaving the hunter has them tensing and Ace is sure to grip to a hand as he would protect Sabo. The businessman is watching Sabo, referring to him when claiming that Sabo knew of Ace being a ‘blood demon’.

“Perdonanos.” Sabo says firmly with a scowl to excuse them quickly and is caught by a hand.

“We are not of Old Order, we are of the New Order.” The man explains quickly, even with his coffee being done, and Sabo faintly hears a soft growl from Ace.

“I’ve heard that enough, Cazador. I will not be fooled once again.” Ace grits out as Sabo is quick to pull his arm away and show his stance with his lover.

“Yet, I was very much interested on those teeth along my nape, yoi.” Blue eyes dance while looking to the two and gives a smirk. “We coexist, learn and teach for those unaware of what is happening or keeping them up on changes. Does Shirohige ring a bell?” The name does not with Sabo, but Ace makes a noise with a small huff.

“Shirohige? The one that the Order is unhappy with?” Ace asks quietly, Sabo knowing most see a glimmer put up around them of friendly chatter and nothing wrong, or that teeth are slightly sharper.

“Yes, we are against the Order. Most understand when I say New Order, yoi. Though, you seem old enough to know more of just the Order solely. I hope you consider coming along to visit. Our Pops would always want to help others who need it, like a drink?” A smirk lingers with eyes sitting hooded and gleaming in interest that pools heat in Sabo’s belly when it reaches him. “Along with your friend, yoi. We give jobs to help and keep everyone twined together like a family.”

“Newgate can fuck off, as if I would come along with an elder. I dealt with one too many in my life and all of them are crudo y vil.” When the language slips, Sabo knows Ace is unhappy and would most likely walk off any minute. Plus, Sabo knew about a few Elders from Ace, mentioning some awful tales. “Vete a la mierda, Cazador.” There it was, Ace had been through with talking to the man and started tugging along Sabo, who followed along with a glance back. The businessman looks a bit upset, but seeming to understand as he turns for his coffee. Something causes Ace to stiffen, worrying Sabo as they leave the cafe swiftly down the sidewalk to get away and Ace is sure to eat his croissant while lingering closer.

“Ace?”

“His name is Marco,” the vampire starts while downing his mocha and having Sabo wince as he knew the heat didn’t bother the other, but it still looked painful. “He works with Edward Newgate, an Elder vampire that used to know my... my... f-father.”

“Oh,” Sabo starts as he knows Ace’s father is a sensitive topic and watches the other stop on the sidewalk as they were some distance away now from the cafe, fast walking mostly.

“My father had been the one to start up the New Order, wanting the coexisting with supernatural and that of mundanes. He never got to do it, being human left him disadvantaged and if... if I hadn’t been changed by... him...” A vehement tone leaves Ace as Sabo knew that also being a sore subject, how Ace was changed. “Then I wouldn’t have to relive seeing him being killed, having nightmares of witnessing it while in severe pain as they burned me, deprived me...” Pain laces in words as Sabo begins pulling Ace to the side into an alley as he knows the other was shifting realities, not liking how much he had been triggered.

“Sshh, Ace... I’m here for you now... You know I wouldn’t leave you for anything.” Sabo tries to reassure before seeing that look of desperation in dark eyes.

“But you will... Like everyone else... Everyone leaves me whether by dying or...” Ace trails as Sabo winces at remembering his rambles in the night when the terrors scrapped through Ace’s mind and memories like a sharp comb. Most times people died or would ‘tire’ of him and try to either kill him or leave him bound for so many years so they could run.

“I won’t leave you... I will stay with you no matter what...”

“I won’t, Sabo... You know I won’t... I can’t after Luffy...” Words are strained, the name bringing Ace to slump like the burden has returned to his shoulders full force and Sabo moves to hug onto him while cradling his head.

“Ace, shhh... it’s okay... That wasn’t your fault...” Trembles leave Ace, having Sabo worry at seeing his lover in such a state and cards fingers through strands. “Let’s... let’s consider them... It would be for our gain... to change me... to be with you...”

“I would do it, yoi.” They stiffen, noticing the familiar voice and Ace let’s a growl rip through his throat. Sabo is shoved to the buildings side and arm protecting before him as he notices the businessman moving around the corner with eyes watching. “Well, not per say me, but we can train in people to do so.”

“I don’t want your help!”

“You could witness my change... I’m having it done by our Pops... Elders are known for the most effective... Though, you should know that, yoi.” Marco watches them as Ace stops growling while pressing up against Sabo more, who is clearly confused. “Pops still carries the family picture, you merely cut your hair and added muscle to your body, not much more besides clothing, of course. Though you still resemble your mother more than anything.”

“You shut your mouth.” Ace hisses while showing small trembles as the hunter watches them and moves leisurely closer. “You wouldn’t know anything...”

“No, I don’t... but my Pops would. He would be happy to know you had lived, yoi. I don’t know how many times he has told me he regretted not being there to protect his friend and his family. Which I know, being there to console him when he would have a moment and gaze to the picture he holds so dearly close. Roger had been the one to make sure he succeeded one way or another, yoi. That man, your father, brought so much hope to Pops and he often asks what he would do in certain occasions.” Marco states firmly, but a twinge of depth of how mournful the situation is. Giving a minute pause and standing close, but keeping a distance, he speaks up once more. “The one who changed you, we can find them and eradicate them if possible. We know who had attacked your family and have been hunting them for a while now, but we could use all the help we can get.”

Ace looks on in consideration, feeling soothed by Sabo wrapping arms around his waist. A shaky breath leaves Ace as he leans more into his lover with eyes carefully watching. “Possibly... I will... allow to meet, but from there is completely vague.”

“Understandable.” Marco comes back with and gives a reassuring smile that somewhat brings that feeling with it.

-o-o-o-o-

Newgate had been overjoyed to see Ace, smothering him in an embrace and never wanting to let go. Sabo had convinced Ace to stay around and try to get him to open up more while still being there, not wanting to leave his side. Marco had come into the picture slowly, especially after the man’s change as Sabo had wanted to know how it was and the emotions and reactions he had with it. As they grew closer on the lead for who changed Ace, things began to be a bit more strange with Ace.

“It’s not adding up...” Marco had commented once in Newgate’s office as Sabo had been with him, being told he needed to be there as well with their predicament.

“What, son?” Newgate asks with an eyebrow raised and Sabo still felt that whimsical atmosphere from the elder.

“Ace’s age of change...” Marco mentions, bringing a frown to Sabo at the mention of their lover being brought up like so. “I know, Sabo... It’s sensitive, but if in the picture he was only twelve and the incident happened when he was eighteen...” The mentioning has Sabo freeze with eyes wide and staring to the other. 

“Ace was changed at twenty.”

“Exactly, so we are missing two years after the attack of his parents...” Marco continues while a hum lingers from Newgate and having them both look to him.

“Go get him, it’s only right to ask...” Newgate brings up, noticing his words bringing a nervous atmosphere from the two before him.

“Well... that’s why we are here as well.” Sabo speaks up this time and gets raised brows, having green eyes flicker to Marco, who is frowning.

“After finding the location of Lafitte, Ace had acted strange and said he was going to be sick. We figured it had to do with his past, yoi. But...” There is a pause lingering as they both stare to Newgate with stress in their postures. “Ace is gone.”

[coffeesforfuckers]

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Three

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 3: Three: I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He's Kind of Cute?

Dallon

I lay sprawled out across my bed, I don’t know why I can’t sleep but I’m just wired. Probably just too much coffee? I’m scrolling through my phone while Spencer, Jon and Ryan all slept.

My phone dings with a new message and I check the notification.

New message from: Retrieving…

I tap it and Kik opens.

I have one new message from someone by the name of BeeboBreadbin . What the fuck? I’m intrigued.

BeeboBreadbin: What’s your favorite animal and why?

Who the fuck is this dude? And is he okay?

Dal-Do: What is this? School??

Dal-Do: The flamingo cause it’s gay I guess?

This person has my full attention and I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

BeeboBreadbin: Wtf??? Is your user a fucking play on the word dildo??

BeeboBreadbin: Kinky

Dal-Do: I know I am thanks

Dal-Do: How’d you get my kik?

Dal-Do: I’m is confuse

BeeboBreadbin: Nice Engli dude

BeeboBreadbin: It was on tumblr and I’m bored

BeeboBreadbin: Or should I say

BeeboBreadbin: I’m is bored

Dal-Do: Fuk off

Dal-Do: You just want this dick

BeeboBreadbin: I’m not against it

BeeboBreadbin: WHat do you look like btw?

I contemplate showing this random guy that literally found my account on Tumblr, of all places, what I look like. I mean it couldn’t hurt really to just show him what I look like, but I mean... I don’t even know what I mean. I’m too tired to think.

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Sorry, I was really drunk in this pic but like thats the most recent I have of just myself and it’s too dark for a good one.

BeeboBreadbin: Def want that dick fmu

BeeboBreadbin: Like you’re hot as fuck help

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: Teach me ur wayz plz

BeeboBreadbin: *Cries*

Dal-Do: Wtf??? You’re so hot??? I’m??? Sobbing????

Dal-Do: Pls don’t show me ur god face anymore

Dal-Do: So sexi

Dal-Do: I met you like ten mins ago… I need to chill

Dal-Do: My gay just couldn’t help but slip out

BeeboBreadbin: Pls slip ur gay into my ass

BeeboBreadbin: I need help

BeeboBreadbin: Gonna go drink bleach brb

BeeboBreadbin: Gotta go drwon the cringe

BeeboBreadbin: Drown*

Dal-Do: My name’s Dallon btw

Dal-Do: I realized that rn my name is dildo and I don’t want ur hotness to think I’m a dildo

BeeboBreadbin: I’m Brendon

BeeboBreadbin: Not Brandon

BeeboBreadbin: Call me Brandon and I’ll fucking cut you

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: See

Dal-Do: Yes, I am so scared of a forehead with a knife, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: I’LL CUT YOU!

Dal-Do: Sure you will

Dal-Do: If anything you’ll want my gay inside u

BeeboBreadbin: You right

BeeboBreadbin: I’m always a slut for a walking dildo

Dal-Do: I’m always a slut for a walking forehead

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch.

Damnit, this kid is actually really funny and he’s pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself. Even with a forehead bigger than his shitty bowl-cut, he was pretty fucking cute. Shit, what was I even thinking? I just met this kid.

Patrick

I felt bad, I was basically using Pete but even for someone as sloppy as him, he was really a fun person to have as a fuck buddy. He was hot as hell, rough, kinky and there were no strings attached! Perfect.

I know it’s fucked up but I’m not out and I’m the biggest commitment phobe on the planet. Yes, I understand that I’m problematic.

For once, I’m the first one awake. It’s only about six in the morning but I was wide awake. Pete squirms in his sleep, mumbling something. He talked in his sleep a lot, most of it was just incoherent mumbles and others were clear, mostly him muttering something to his mother or a friend.

I’m on my phone, checking all my notifications and such, texting some friends and writing down some lyrics.

“Patrick.” I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to find Pete sound asleep in the nearby bed.

“Yeah?” I raise my brow.

“Lay with me.” He murmurs sleepily.

“Um, What?” I choke in utter shock, this was probably the most crazy thing he’d said.

“Please, baby?” I feel the same itch that runs through my body when I’m in a relationship and begin to get jittery, needing to get out.

“Uh, I-I’m… P-Pete? I’m- er, uh, not…” I stammer out anxiously.

His words come out incoherent now and I know I can’t keep doing this anymore…

Pete

I am falling madly in love with Patrick Stump.

This is so bad.

I knew that Patrick won’t ever love me he’s not like that. He tells me all the time, he’s not the ‘forever with you’ type, he’s the ‘hump and dump’ type. It baffles me.

He’s so careful with everybody and everything, not wanting to upset anyone and yet this little ball of happiness is the biggest fucking slut on the face of the earth.

Damn, I want to hate him.

But, who could hate Patrick Stump .

Alex

The room was dim, light seeping in through the old smashed windows and the cracks in the old chipped wood of the abandoned wooden cabin Some light also poured in through the cracks and holes in the ceiling. The cabin was old, rotten, gross and falling to pieces but it was ours . And that’s all that mattered.

Hs fingers run through my somewhat long hair, his forehead pushed firmly to mine, the tips of our noses brushing. Our legs were tangled around each other as we sat across from each other on the ground.

“Lex?” I can feel his warm breath caress my lips.

“Yes, boo?” I coo back softly.

“So, um… What…” He pauses, pulling his head back from mine, “What are we?”

“Alive.” I reply with a coy smile, leaning in to kiss him again but he moves back, detangling himself from me. He seems frustrated by my reply.

“You know what I mean, Alex.” He grumbles, using my full name.

“I don’t know? We’re just friends that are like… More than friends but… Less than lovers… You know?” I let out a shaky breath and an awkward frown.

“No, Alex.” He huffs, “I don’t know.” He stands and starts to pace, “We’re either dating or somebody's being used.”

“It’s not like that! I just don’t want labels and people like, knowing!  I like our secret , Jack. I love this .” I frown sadly.

“I don’t ‘ love this ’. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, love you, wherever and whenever I can. I want to scream my love from the rooftops because, I love you, Alex . You never say it back but I’m fucking madly in love with you and you know it, Alex.” Jack tosses his hands in the air, “I don’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore, Alexander.” I wince at him using my full-on first name.

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m not ready for that… I like how we already are…” My voice cracks with desperation.

“I’m not doing this anymore.” He shakes his head and I feel my heart start to sink, “I’m done… I want to be something that you're proud to call yours.”

I swallow hard, “Wha-... What are you trying to say, Jacky…?” I’m trembling.

“We’re done. This… Is done.” He looks me dead in the eyes as he shoots his words like daggers into me. I let out a sob and then I can’t stop, shaking violently and bawling my eyes out. Jack shakes his head at my tears, turning to leave.

“I love you, Jack!” The words I’d neglected to say for so long finally spilled from me, my voice leaking emotion that spilled over the room.

“Well, you’re too late.”

And he’s gone.

Dallon

I’d been talking with Brendon for about two, almost three, weeks but I already knew this kid was something special. All of my friends were extremely concerned with how attached to this random stranger I’ve become.

BeeboBreadbin: Dallon

BeeboBreadbin: Dal

BeeboBreadbin: Dal-Do

BeeboBreadbin: Yo!!! Dildo!!! Fucking reply damnit!!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: The forehead is gonna come stab ya ass

BeeboBreadbin: (With this dick!!!!)

Dal-Do: Pls do

BeeboBreadbin: Dildo! You’re back!!

Dal-Do: And gayer than ever!! ;)

BeeboBreadbin: Fuckin’ gayyy

Dal-Do: You know it

BeeboBreadbin: Wanna see my new room decoration?? (It not for indended use btw)

Dal-Do: Yus, send (n00ds) pls

BeeboBreadbin: Those come later

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: IS THAT A /GLASS/ FUCKING DILDO!!!???

BeeboBreadbin: Yee! (Not for anal use I swear)

BeeboBreadbin: I named it Dallon <3

Dal-Do: What an honor it is to be shoved up your ass, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: >:(

BeeboBreadbin: It’s decoration

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: On tha Pianooo

Dal-Do: Urielectric?

BeeboBreadbin: ???

BeeboBreadbin: O shit that thing

BeeboBreadbin: I do the musics and that’s what my studio (aka my friend’s basement) is called.

Dal-Do: You don’t live with your fam?

BeeboBreadbin: Nah, they kicked me out cause I’m a bi atheist

Dal-Do: A Gaytheist?

BeeboBreadbin: Y

BeeboBreadbin: E

BeeboBreadbin: S

Dal-Do: Relatable

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: WHaT ArE U doInG WIth uR LEg!?!?!!????!!!

Dal-Do: Are those leather pants!???!!!

Dal-Do: You fuckin’ SL00TE!!

Dal-Do: ANd ThoSE BOOtS??!!

Dal-Do: ARE YOU A FUCKING STRIPPER??!!!???!!

BeeboBreadbin: Only for u, boo ;)

Dal-Do: That’s gay

BeeboBreadbin: Yep, That’s me

Dal-Do: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch you cheating on me with Raven Simone

Dal-Do: We ain’t even dating tf?

BeeboBreadbin: Damnit

BeeboBreadbin: My Plot

BeeboBreadbin: FOILED!

BeeboBreadbin: *Sobbing*

Dal-Do: That was fucking lammmmeeeeee!

BeeboBreadbin: Just like you

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Gon fite u

BeeboBreadbin: Ooo!! Sweati and Sexi!!!

Dal-Do: Damn right hoe

Dal-Do: You better fucking enjoy that pic!!

Dal-Do: Everybody thinks I’m a psycho from running around first to get all sweaty and then taking fucking weird ass pics of myself while running.

BeeboBreadbin: That’s hawwttt!!!

BeeboBreadbin: I’d lick you, bro (Full Homo)

Dal-Do: Wtf??? Lmao, you’re fucked up

BeeboBreadbin: You rite

BeeboBreadbin: I is

BeeboBreadbin: Fuck I gtg, ttyl

Dal-Do: Awe ;,( come back soon

I frown and toss my phone to the side. May as well go see what everybody else is doing for once.

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous -

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Two - On the Rooftop with You

Next -

Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This