#plus. im still stupid. and a coward probably. and generally a dull person.

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i will delete it later anyway but i have this chaotic looong essay on poverty drafted out somewhere in my head because it - growing up in poverty - sets you sooo so behind. everything. and everyone. and it's so common, and when i think about it, when i come across yet another obstacle existing, and being said obstacle for me mostly bc of that reason, i feel so hurt. back in childhood i didn't use to be friends with anyone who'd had the same experience, my friends were children from middle-class-ish families mostly, but the mutual recognition between all the kids like me was sooo obvious, like, yeah, we were coming home to the depression factory. anywayyyyy. it's mostly about me struggling with the access to education and it's just sad bc it's still hard, well, i mean, it's hard for everyone - if you're really trying to do your best, if you're serious about something it's never easy, it's always a long path, but i mean general access to educational institutions which still tend to do their best to let as few people get into them as possible.