#plus tangent but i think a cathartic ending for pharma would involve him getting over ratchet

[lord-squiggletits]

Having late night angst Pharma thoughts and I think besides wanting to write a scene where Pharma lashes out in anger, and scenes where he does his crazy evil doctor persona to keep pretending he doesn't care, I also do want that scenario to eventually include peeling Pharma open emotionally somehow to get him to actually say his real emotions with no pretense

I'm not sure what scenario would lead to that or what would be an in character way for Pharma to express his grievances. Out of all the things he's angry/upset about which one hurts the most? Getting betrayed by Ratchet? None of the other Autobots caring about him either? Being made to murder people and possibly never getting to be a doctor again as a result?

Canon focuses mostly on the thing with Ratchet but I do think a Pharma centric scenario should delve deeper. After all even if Pharma is in love with Ratchet, it's boring and bad writing if EVERYTHING revolves around Ratchet and Pharma doesn't have thoughts/feelings about other things

So again, idk how it would be voiced in character or what scenario could lead to it, but I'd like to somehow see Pharma stripped down to the actual agonizing hurt and grief that you could read into his actions like.....

Ratchet left him alone to go to Delphi, then abandoned him again after Delphi and didn't even bother looking for his body after presuming him dead. If that's how Ratchet treated him after a lifetime of friendship, did he ever actually care about Pharma?

Is it any wonder that all the other Autobots left him for dead and treated him like a monster if not even Pharma's own best friend cared about him or was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt?

If Ratchet tries to patch things up, is he doing it because he actually cares or just to assuage his own guilty conscience? If he said he was sorry, would Pharma believe it/would it make him feel any better, or is it too little too late?

Why is it that Pharma's endless fate is to be left alone, facing down torture and coercion, alone, with no one who's his friend and barely anyone who even thinks he's tolerable/doesn't outright hate him?

(In a post-LL/Pharma doesn't die scenario) What is it about Pharma that makes him so despicable but people (especially Ratchet) are willing to tolerate and even befriend people like Drift or Megatron who did things as bad or worse? (No hate to them this is just a 'what if' angle of Pharma coming into this scenario)

Bc on one hand not giving a shit and being arrogant are valid parts of Pharma's character, but on the other hand there's a good amount of canon evidence implying that Pharma wasn't always Like That and even evidence that his crazy doctor thing was an act he was putting on. So why not write something about Pharma getting to voice insecurity, loneliness, betrayal, etc?