#plus some commissions

[pikatik]

I just like drawing them talking

(Long haired Aziraphale again :D)

[aryomengrande]

aryomengrande’s 127 squad (2023 division) ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ

i reached my favorite milestone last year which is 127 (it’s also my angel number ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝) but hardly had time to make this. i planned to post this by january 27 (which is 1/27) but didn’t finish it on time but ig today is fine (02/07). basically, these are the characters featured in my top 1, 2, and 7 most liked posts here on tumblr last year—seishu inui taking the 1st place, kokonoi hajime in 2nd place, and kakucho in 7th place. i really enjoyed making these, so i’ll do this every year except i’ll pick the top 1, 2, and 7 most liked posts across all my platforms instead of just tumblr. all of these reference nct 127’s albums (for those who aren’t familiar, nct 127 is a subunit of the kpop group nct), and i will continue to do so to uphold the 127 tradition (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ* thank u to my 127+ followers and thank u to everyone who showed these posts a lot of love ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ stoked to see which ones place 1st, 2nd, and 7th place this year ! ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

more details about these pieces under the cut (bc i’m a detail whore)

the album reference for inupi is neozone (n ver.). i changed the yellow into a warmer tone that’s closer to toman’s golden yellow.

i switched the nct 127 emblem into a shape that resembles a basketball bc inupi’s special skill is ball games. i also changed it to the 1st album (instead of 2nd album) to reference his top spot as my most liked post last year.

the member i used for reference for inupi and koko is lee taeyong bc ‘yong’ in korean means ‘dragon’ and both inupi and koko are part of black dragons. inupi’s drip is taeyong’s drip in nct 127’s single ‘kick it’ from the neozone album.

the album reference for koko is sticker (sticker ver.). i also changed the album order from 3rd album to 2nd album to reference him being second to inupi as the most liked post here on tumblr. i picked sticker for koko bc bro rly stuck w inupi through thick and thin. like a stickaaa stickaaa *insert whistle tones* lmao

the numbers in the barcode are the number of likes he got from each platform—215 upvotes from reddit, 269 likes from tiktok, 577 likes on tumblr, 2.2k likes on twitter/x, a total of 3261 likes.

and finally, the album reference for kakucho is fact check (storage ver.). kakucho my beloved, the brawler, is canonically a prodigy who can even go up against the invincible mikey. don’t believe me? check the facts go check that!! (¬◾_◾) i also changed the album order from 5th album to 7th album in line with kakucho being featured in my top 7 most liked post here.

the reference for kakucho is jung jaehyun in ‘fact check’; his drip kinda resembles kaku’s tenjiku’s uniform, the pants specifically.

i switched the vault safe door into a metallic yin yang to reference tenjiku’s emblem and i also like that the storage version of fact check is grey, which is his image color! ⋆˙⟡♡

[orangeno]

oh shit almost forgot to reveal this to tumblr

big things are coming...

[paperbaghero]

Commissions are still open!!

° Sketch - $5

° Sketch colored - $10

° Line art - $15

° Line art Colored - $25

~ +$10 per character

~ Full body for any +$15

DM me by Tumblr, Instagram, or Discord if you're interested!!

All the same Username!!

[musubiki]

at first i was thinking about oscars work with madam springs being in a secondary location from her bookstore but i think a cute idea would be putting the springs storefront in the same building as the bookshops...side by side store neighbors or something...

[sophisticatedpjparty]

My Commissions Are Open!

DM me or email me at SophisticatedPJs@gmail.com with questions or commissions! Paypal:

I also sell on Deviantart!

[uldahstreetrat]

I hadn't actually been planning on doing glamtober but now that I'm seeing everyone post theirs,,,, should I?? ( ´･ω･)

[commence-screaming]

I know you all are awaiting my response, and I’m grateful for your patience. There are some things I have to address here. Never wanted to put everything out there—I don’t like drama on my blog. I have a document that’s over a thousand words long, but I realized that when people have blocked me and are saying stuff in the main tag, they don’t want to listen. They just want to hurt me.

So I guess now there are things I have to clarify… it’s heavy, but I tried to keep it short. I didn’t have the energy to read everything they were saying about me so I may get things wrong. I didn’t really want to post this.

Content warnings for mental illness, suicidal ideation, mentions of abuse.

Let’s get right into it.

1. I’ve always lived with the paranoid delusion that everyone was conspiring against me, that people secretly hated me and would smear me behind my back. I passed these off as negative thoughts, anything that might’ve “confirmed” this would set it off. I’d have an episode I would have to deal with on my own. I thought that nobody would stick with me in a crisis, and I would always be thinking along the lines of, “is it all over?”

I feel liberated, now. There’s no need to fight when they’re true. I am more at peace with myself.

2. I never want to hurt anyone. Not a real level, the angst stuff is fictional pain. I am autistic—the things you’re hearing me say are the first times I’ve talked to people (other than my family) for my entire life. I always want people to go to me when I do something wrong so I can handle it and learn from my mistakes, that’s why I have my bio set to what it is.

That, and my memory is so fuzzy that I can’t remember too much from even last week. I tend to dissociate and my brain turns into mush.

3. The “minor incident” that Ghouse and the others were talking about was one of his mods saying she’d “tear people apart” and then immediately citing me as the main cause because I was “being rude.” I told her why I was taking a break, as I couldn’t handle it, this had happened before and I asked them to correct me if I was wrong—even confirming multiple times that we were just joking around because I was paranoid.

I suggested they go straight to me for future reference. I was having a mental health episode. She called me crazy and that I was overreacting, implying I was stupid. Another mod told me I was overreacting and that I was acting pathetic and childish. This made point 1 so much worse.

4. The “suicide baiting” was something I told the Panic Room server in confidence. I told them I was talking a break. Ghouse said “it wasn’t that bad but okay,” as if he were gaslighting me. He said things like this as I was sobbing alone in my room, which he was well aware of.

I have to clarify that it wasn’t baiting. Suicidal ideation has been something I’ve been dealing with since I was 9 years old. I have been abused/gaslit for more of my life than I have been safe. I never wanted to say this, but they were brushing me off at a point where I was trying to find a reason to live. I had stupidly thought that they would understand what they were doing to me if I said.

5. That was the first time I had an episode like that. To say that it was baiting is to say I was lying. Let’s play devil’s advocate here.

If I were lying for attention, why would I destroy all my relationships in a single night? Why wouldn’t I make art or something along those lines? They’re big on art.

If I wasn’t, then that would mean that I was having a few bad days and they did nothing to help me… beyond condescendingly saying that I need help. I don’t blame the minors in the server, I’m talking about Ghouse, who is older than I am by around 2 years. I told them I called 988 and it didn’t really work. He continued to tell me off.

After I was kicked I was made aware that they immediately started insulting me. Whether you believe me or not, purposely attacking someone who’s mentally ill is… too far. I hadn’t done anything to them before this incident.

6. The reasons I freaked out was because I was sad that I had unintentionally hurt people, I had started a new, dangerous job, and… well, to be honest, I was terrified.

They were making me forget that I’d been hurt. I was starting to trust them. I had been starting to look forward to tomorrow. And, I was so scared that it would all be over. I didn’t know when, just that it would be.

Now, it is.

7. I may very well have been joking around with everything while on the server, but serious topics were serious. I was never “demeaning” when Ghouse was venting about something that happened to him beyond a couple of lighthearted comments. I thought they’d have the same respect for me. Again, I had confirmed multiple times that I was joking.

8. I might not have done much wrong in the Panic Room situation, but the other things that people are saying about me? I had no idea.

That was the first time I’d ever heard of them.

In the past, my autism had gone completely unchecked. some of those things were from when I was a week into being on my first server… ever. I was 17, had no idea how to check for age or even pronouns. Never used anything but tumblr, never interacted with anyone. Never went to school or even had a job at that point. I more tried to figure out everything based off of my own experiences… which was, not good. To say the least. The things I did, in my head, I thought they were “normal.” This doesn’t make it less terrible, but I hadn’t even remembered some of the incidents until someone pointed it out. It was so mundane to me—I was a messed up child. I’m sorry for this.

8. I wasn’t the best person, I really wasn’t. I didn’t know how to “mask” my traits at that time, I was excited to be able to talk to people. I was protective over my friends (my first friends! ever!) and very clingy. I didn’t know that people held characters close to their hearts, either? (When I have a favorite, I only want to hurt them, you see)

So while the doc was deliberately taking things out of context, some of the other accusations are true, unfortunately. I will be posting my DMs between me and the people on the server in my doc.

9. I have explanations for what I’ve seen of the accusations, but I don’t really recall anything from that incident over 3 years ago… if someone had told me, or even confronted me, I’d have known what was wrong. But they didn’t, and they kept talking to me like everything was normal. I was completely unaware. This is most of the reason I thought people were plotting against me—people would be cold to me and I wouldn’t know why. The worst part is that I can’t apologize. I can’t even try to rectify anything. Some of the people in that server still played PAYDAY 2 with me, some would even reply to my DMs. I had… no idea.

I have hurt people. Unknowingly, but still. I apologize to anyone I’ve affected. Most of it was not knowing how basic social media functions worked. I hope you understand that my behavior was out of line, and that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Don’t defend me on that, I was entirely wrong. But… smearing me in the fandom tag instead of going to me directly means that they want to attack me. They don’t want an explanation.

All of my actions were genuine. I never intended to hurt anyone, but that’s what ended up happening. I’ll put more detail into the doc.

10. I was already going to take a break. I was already doing poorly, and the server knew this. At that point, they want me to go through with it. What else would they be saying when they do all of this? Unless I’m reading that wrong. Whatever the reason is, they don’t want to help me, they’re deliberately being malicious and they know I wasn’t baiting.

Although, I guess I have to thank them. Now, I can say that I wasn’t delusional. I can say that I was too smart for my own good. How crazy does it sound to think that everyone was just waiting to betray me? But… they were. I can begin to trust myself again, even if it’s accepting some of my “negative thoughts” as reality. I won’t be reaching out to anyone I don’t already know, and there is safety in never putting myself out there again.

Thank you to everybody who stuck around. My delusions… weren’t entirely correct. Just like how most of my former friends blocked me on sight, there were a few people who didn’t mind when I wasn’t responding. There are some people who believed in me to a point where even if all those accusations were true, they believed that I could change. That’s… something I never thought I’d hear, ever, in my life. That is a form of trust I don’t deserve, really.

So, I was wrong again. Not everyone wanted me gone. It took all of this for me to realize that there were people who loved me in the truest form of it.

As for everyone who cut me off… well, I hope you understand that because of my mental issues, I can never trust you beyond a professional level. It is for my own wellbeing, because I’m still not doing good. I will still be taking that break. The PAYDAY 2 fandom was a source of reprieve for me, and now it’s not. It wasn’t an accident that it turned out that way. All my safe spaces have been taken from me. I don’t know why the Panic Room server hated me, so I can’t provide any extra insight on that.

The truth is, I haven’t been around because I’ve been dealing with depression for a long time. I’ve been passively… yknow. Not actively. I haven’t had the energy to respond to anything on most days, I’m sorry for that :(

All of this was just the breaking point, really.

Thank you for reading. I know most people won’t, but I appreciate those who do. I won’t blame the rest of you if you all decide to leave as well, I understand that. I never made the blog for other people, I made it for myself. This whole thing will serve as a reminder that there are more important things than online spaces. Can’t get therapy because I’m broke, but I can enjoy the few things I still can… even if I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. I don’t think I’ll really be here anymore, but I will be okay.

[wayfinderships]

Good morning gamers!!! Hope you're all doing well this morning! As for me, I was thinking of maybe starting some YCH Halloween Commissions next month for the spooky season! :>

[vellichorom]

Idk about other people. But, I once waited 5 months for a commission to get finished. I don't mind waiting. 🤷🏻‍♀️

that's very good 2 hear

I DON'T KNOW IF EVERYONE WOULD WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG ( NOT that any commission WOULD take that long, god & heaven willing ) NOR WOULD I WANT THEM TO, but that IS good to know... does ease the pressure some

[eldrtchmn]

Commission Mailing List

I have a commission mailing list for anyone who wants to get updates when I open comms!

[unikorpi]

I miss drawing for other people and I'm starting to more seriously consider opening commissions, but oh the pricing part is difficult

[todayisafridaynight]

warm ups for today

[taffywabbit]

hi

just a heads-up in advance since ppl have been asking me a lot lately: I'll be reopening my comms next Wednesday (Jul 24)!

you can find info about how my submission process and stuff works, as well as newly-updated pricing and examples, here:

see you then! 🐇

[dozy-draws]

Looking to do some customs in this crayon style for $10 a piece! Turnaround within a few days ^-^ These designs, along with other adopts, are also for sale on my toyhouse!

I can do designs based off aesthetics, moodboards, characters, etc! Dm me if interested!

[phyreunavailable]

I think when I have everything like, worked out, I might post the absolutely insane system I use for campaigns, like.

There is a reason I don't tag these posts dnd. This is held up by the fundamentals of bullshit and how much my brain can cook up and that's it.

Turning to the group of ppl who have played dnd and ppl who have never touched a ttrpg in their life: two of you will suffer greatly. It's the ones with experience.

My system basically priorities story and role play, then puzzles and exploration, then combat. I mostly cut out rests because like boo boring don't care. Combat? Much quicker, I hate numbers and don't want a turn to take 20 minutes. There's type advantages. I built a bloody type system.

I just reuse the same worldbuilding but in different spots. I made a silly Agency that works for literally every scenario and WILL be using them for such, thank you.

But yeah a lot of it is just me making a plotline and npcs, giving players their mission and telling them to make a character on call with me so we can live discuss what works, and based on that call and what type they choose I create their skills and abilities. They are always free to recommend things to me on how they see their character, and I take inspiration from there.

Like upcoming campaign? I gave them their roles beforehand since it's a shorter one and to keep it balanced. As I worked on the story, maps, and assets, they would hop on call and we would talk about their character. I put a human/hybrid (catgirl side of the chart) rule in due to the world they were playing in, and each player has found a way to work with that.

Currently the party is a lesbian swordswoman lizard-hybrid, a mage with a tree arm, an Irish man ready to throw hands, a nonbinary Healer that has an emo aesthetic and a giant hammer for their normal attacks, and a shark hybrid chef that throws pancakes and hot oil like Mr. Game and Watch.

Skills are balanced with cooldown rates instead of mana or whatever because I did not want to deal with that. The cooldown is how many turns you must go for before you get your ability back. You roll a d20 for everything, damage is predetermined so like it's just a crit/miss chance you roll for.

The 2 that have played dnd quite a bit hate this system. The 2 that play rpg games and have never touched a ttrpg think it makes perfect sense. I'm having fun. Everybody is stoked to start. Nobody really knows what to expect except for me, and I think that's beautiful.