#plus i have ONE thing left to draw which i only havent done yet because. i was too lazy to double check sth + look up a ref

[humanmorph]

i loooove finishing drawings in one sitting but its simply unhealthy because i usually draw without breaks at all. and my wrist just started hurting less. and i dont want to be tired tomorrow. so im stopping but ohhh i really am pretty close to being done with this

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

[carmineclock]

> Once upon like a lifetime ago

Scratch 11/11/2018

And so a hush descends upon the city. A shared humbling sending all the dogs - and cats, back home to lick their wounds. You should feel glad for the quiet, it might mean you can finally get some sleep. But despite the wave of temporary peace, you feel unsettled. Theres something in the air. The smell of change, and you dont like it. Its partially your fault, of course. You should have crushed this particular seed of hate a long time ago. At first it seemed like the playings at a relationship, so you'd written it off. But things have progressed far beyond what you expected. How petty do you have to be to hold a grudge for so long. Ahem. Anyway, you have been preparing for the night with your favorite bow tie. The whole Nepeta, Fin, Trace 'thing' has been so volatile you'd really not wanted to go near it with a ten foot pole. As long as they did as their job. But now. You're pissed. A message was sent out to the three regarding Nepeta, inviting them into your office for a discussion. Despite your earlier invitations, this was more like a summons. So you set about preparing the tea, a glass for each of them, three chairs set meticulously in front of your desk for a nice friendly conversation. As an afterthought, you leave the door ajar, a little test to set the mood. That done, you wait.

Trace 11/11/2018

The summon was to be expected. Yet, you really hoped it would be long in coming. But no such luck. Well, fortunately a wheelchair seems to exist. That makes things much easier, even if the stairs are still... a challenge. But you all manage somehow and eventually you get Nepeta down to Scratch's office, where you just quietly push her inside.

Nepeta 11/11/2018

You had been expecting it too, yes. Or to put it more accurately: dreading it. Of course Scratch would eventually talk to you personally about this, you are not stupid. You are aware you only got off the hook so easily last time because of Snowman. Seems that you luck is running out. You are visibly nervous and uncomfortable on the way to his office, seeking out the hand of one your sharks at all times. But eventually you do reach the office and you are not foolish enough to face Scratch while holding hands like a silly little girls. You gulp and try to steel yourself for what's to come. Not like you have much of a choice.

Fin 11/11/2018

The first thing in your head is “i shouldn’t be here” and you really shouldn’t , for once you did nothing wrong but you are sort of worried about Nepeta and Trace because of course he will be worried about her so it’s a chain of people being worried for each other. ”It’s going to be fine, he will probably bark to you for the Droog shit, demand you to stop and be done with it” you shrug trying to diminish the importance of whatever will happen behind those doors. “I already got a bottle of wine waiting for us in the room after this if shit goes bad” You sigh loudly before stepping into the office.

Scratch 11/11/2018

You are sitting at your desk as they walk in, doing your best to look as calm and welcoming as possible. Tonight isnt just about punishment, its about improvement. Kicking someone while they're down rarely motivates, its about reshaping. Its what you'd hoped would happen under Snowman's tutelage. Not to say she did poorly, of course. She did her best. This is solely in the hands of the young troll, the potential she has that hopefully hasnt been thrown away. "Please, sit. You may move aside the chairs." For Nepetas wheelchair. As amusing a spectacle it would be to see Trace lift her and put her into the chair, or for Fin to try, better to just leave well enough alone. "I'm sure you know why you're here. Lets try not to draw this out with unnecessary drama, if it can be helped.  Who would like to start."

Trace 11/11/2018

As soon as he gives permission, you go to work and move some of the chairs aside so you can push Nepeta inbetween them. "Start with what exactly?" you ask as you take a seat yourself.  "How Droog can't leave his dirty fingers off her? First he kidnaps her for petty reasons, which - mind you - are mostly me, then back at the festival he can't help provoke her until someone finally makes him shut up, and not this." You gesture vaguely at Nepeta and the wheelchair. "A vicious backstabbing in a moment of mutual hardship and asssistance. He had a chance to end this and very much refused." Yeah, Nepeta can definitely speak for herself, but you know she's just as anxious about this as you, if not more. Plus, if Doc gets mad at anyone for talking back, you'd rather that one be yourself. "I know you're trying to tell us this needs to stop, but the thing is she never started any of this. So the question should rather be how you intend to keep this sadistic bastard away from us." Despite your words, your voice is fairly calm. Not much need to fake there, either, since the events have left you fairly tired and exhausted.

Nepeta 11/11/2018

It's a good thing that Trace is talking. You are not sure if you could, words were never your biggest talent. Where he has his way with them you usually prefer action... Which is exactly why you are here isn't it? You almost want to stop him, you raise your hand and open your mouth even, but nothing comes out. What do you even have to say? You just want this meeting to be over. "I'm...I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused, Sir." It's not much. Your voice is far too quiet to really belong to you. You feel like a kid facing their mad parent, and in a way you are. Trace might be able to talk to Scratch like this but you? You are terrified of him.  And you know did wrong.

Fin 11/11/2018

You take a seat and cross your arms over your chest, your entire body is in a position of bitch i will fight everything you say so you rather leave the talk to Trace, he is the one with the big words in this relationship. “Yeah because knowing that leech he won’t stop sucking until she’s dead” you add. “and it’s not fair we have to stand here and watch.”

Scratch 11/11/2018

You listen quietly as each takes their turn to speak, studying them as you sip your tea. Always so defensive right away. You havent accused them of anything yet. "To start off with, check your tone, Three." You shoot him an icy look. " I havent told you anything yet. In fact I would say I've been almost lenient in regards to this quarrel you have. All three of you. I've stayed well and truly out of the way because it was absolutely going to end up a mess. And here we are. Let me ask. Is there a good reason to kidnap? You cant justify amoral things based on your own code of ethics and expect others to adhere to them. So thats how it started. Nepeta was made his victim and you blamed yourself so you got involved. I assume Five was made to be involved just for being connected to her. The question isnt, actually, how am I going to keep him away. Because the answer to it is too simple. I cant. I may be  a man of many talents, but Diamonds is outside my realm of influence. The question, similarly, is not what do I now do with a troublemakers and their grudges. The question that needs to be asked is actually, why did it ever get this far. Ah, see, now theres a far more interesting answer, dont you think?"

Trace 11/11/2018

"Why don't we invite him over so he can tell you? I thought I already explained as much. He's not letting off despite several warnings, and unfortunately the Crew's second-in-command isn't killed that easily, so here we are." You give Fin. Such. A look. What happened of acting like we're not out for blood. You sigh. "Fin is right. This isn't fair."

November 12, 2018

Nepeta 11/12/2018

It's funny, you aren't usually timid by any stretch of the imagination. But right now? Facing Scratch? You are not the fierce predator you want to be. You are reduced to nothing but a scared kitten under his cold stare. The fact that you are vulnerable physically and mentally right doesn't help one bit of course. Fin and Trace are so much louder than you but you do mumble an answer. "I..I lost my temper last time, sir. It won't happen again." The fact that you are apologizing despite the fact that you were already harshly punished by the loss of your legs doesn't even occur to you. You are just scared to get kicked out or worse.

Fin 11/12/2018

Trace’s look reminds of you the plan yourself set for the two. Damn. Well you can’t take those words back now, at least try to act like it’s not a big deal that you really think ain’t fair but you won’t do anything about it, so you look back at him and shrug then lean back on your table and nod at Nepeta's words. You really don't have much to add.

Scratch 11/12/2018

"I forget when the world was ever fair. I didnt realize we dealt in justice and fairness. Is it fair that a perfectly good warrior wastes her formative years on hate when she is brimming with potential? Is it fair that Diamonds started it and now  wont finish it, preferring to play with the shattered pieces of what remains?" The sentence ends sharply,with more heat than you wanted. You sense yourself getting worked up and ease it back a bit. "No, its not. And as much as it hurts, life goes on." You're speaking more directly to Nepeta now, though you're still facing Trace. "You've made your cases. I want a word alone with Ms. Leijon."

Trace 11/12/2018

You grimace some at his response. While it is nice and somewhat rare to hear a compliment like that from him, especially for your beloved girlfriend, it's.. kinda bittersweet, considering the situation. There's more things you want to say, more questions you got for him, especially about what options there are for her now. What plans he got, if any. But you realize these are things you may be able to ask either of them afterwards, so you nod quietly and raise from your seat. You give Nepeta a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder in passing, then leave the room, where you will wait right next to the door.

Nepeta 11/12/2018

Was that...A compliment? You certainly did not expect that at all. Scolding, a punishment, getting thrown on the streets, sure, but a compliment? You don't exactly know what to make of it. You gulp when he asks Fin and Trace to leave. You really don't want to be alone with Scratch, but it's not like you have a choices. Trace's gestures is appreciated but can't exactly ease the anxiety you are dealing with now.

Fin 11/12/2018

Really was that all?. This makes you even more worried for whatever he gotta tell her in private, was he just trying not to make it look like a big deal and will lash out to her when you two are gone or are you just being dramatic as always. You sigh and get up  but before you go you give a quick smooch to Nepeta’s cheek and a pat in the head then leave the room to join Trace outside. Time for the bouncy leg show as you wait.

Scratch 11/13/2018

The prey have gone, leaving only the preditors remaining. So you'd like to think, anyway. Once youre alone, the door closing sharply behind them, you stand. A slow movement, non aggresssive. Despite your distaste for cats, you know their behaviors. You move around your desk and take a seat in a vacated chair across from her. Eye level, face to face. "May I be frank, Ms. Leijon. I dont want this to come off as just another scolding. You've exceeded all expectations, and with the right guidence you could become something fierce. Thats what I wanted for you when Madam Snowman took you under her wing. And it makes me wonder why someone like you would want to waste so much energy on a grudge. Its clear you realize what you're doing is wrong, so why cant you move on. How much more are you going to let this revenge war take from you?" Its a genuine question. You hope your words come across as somewhat genuine. How you must look in her eyes to make her cower so.

Nepeta 11/13/2018

You don't think you've ever gotten this close to Scratch. It's a weird feeling, to have his attention all on you. Despite being a cat you feel more like a mouse. Trapped. At the mercy of a far bigger predator. It's funny, physically there's no question that you are stronger than him, perhaps even in your current state. Mentally though? And that's the kind of game you are playing here. With Scratch it always is, isn't it? You don't quite trust his words. You are used to far harsher words, not just from him. But to be told you have potential? That you are useful? You want to believe that's sincere. In a way you have to. It's hard to look him in the eyes though. "I know... I know this can't go on. I know this can't keep on escalating or it will destroy us..Me and Fin and Trace. I know that." You do. You had plenty of time to think about it in the past days. "But he wronged me. He hurt me, he used me to hurt them. And the he mocked me for my anger. Tried to play it off as some cute little game we play, tried to push me into some weird black situation." It's hard to hide your anger when you talk about him. Your face twists into and ugly scowl and your anxiety is almost forgotten. "I know it was wrong. I just wanted.. No I needed to show him that I'm not just his toy. I'm not going to play his shitty games anymore. I'm not going to just let him get away with it. I can't do that. I can't let him."

Scratch 11/13/2018

You listen in silence until she finishes. So much pain in her voice for someone so young. Diamonds is as much to blame as Nepeta is, of course. Such a waste of time and effort on a silly game. "I know. He wronged you, and the humiliation you felt being helpless at his hands was something you never want to feel again. And you tried to show him, and maybe sometimes you did, but he eggs you on. And you eat up his every words because your hate is blinding you. Of course you hate him. But let that push you to be better. Smarter. Look at your enemy and study their weaknesses. Look at your own limitations and strengths openly. Are you as strong as Diamonds now? No. But one day could you be?" You sit back in your chair, relaxed posture. Let her have a think on that. "As far as Droog is concerned, you are his toy. Because every little provokation gets a response. Something to stir the pot with. Is it fair that your honest emotion is used against you? No. But we learn. We grow. Every time you let that anger get the better of you,you give Droog everything he wants."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

That...all actually makes perfect sense. It's something to think about indeed. It's obvious you are doing just that by the way you  knit your brows and chew on your lips. "You are right Sir. And I've been trying. I've been trying so damn hard to ignore him. Even when I met him at the festival, I tried to keep it low but then...He just had to show off his damn trophies.  And I just lost it. I just..." You make a frustrated sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. "I want him dead. I want to be the one who ends him. That's my end goal, not...Not what has been happening lately. I know it's not the time to kill him yet. That's why I didn't, even when I could have. " You sigh. "I know I have to work on this. Channel my anger into something more useful. For myself, for them.  It's been... It's been hard."

Scratch 11/13/2018

You're getting there. Slowly, you're unraveling this complicated web of emotion and hate, and laying it before you in neat, workable strands. Its been a while since you deigned to work one on one with someone, after the whole Itchy thing you'd been working on for years went up in smoke. It was always going to be volatile at best. "I do understand, you know. How hard it is. Learning to adapt in any environment can be difficult, but trying to adjust yourself in the midst of those two acting like you're infallable and that nothing is wrong. Getting contrasting validation  for emotions you think you have no control over. And you're right. Nepeta, you cant control your emotions." Its a lesson you try to teach all your children. Not that she has suddenly joined those ranks, of course, but its worth her knowing. "You cant control your emotions, that is why they are emotions. They happen naturally, without warning or apology. You cant ignore Droog because to do so is to tell yourself that your emotions arent there, and we must never do that. We have to take agency over what we can control, which is our reaction to our emotions. Be honest with yourself. Accept that these emotions are there, and that you know theyre strong, and that they hurt, but that you can move forward even with the pain. Tell your heart that your brain hears and understands whats its going through."

You put a hand to your chest, where your heart would be, and sigh quietly. You cant bear to see youth wasted, thats the whole reason for this in the first place. Its why you take in kids and reshape them. They end up lost, otherwise. Like Nepeta. Hopefully its not too late for her. "Learn to control your reactions to your emotions, while still accepting theyre there and so powerful. Its okay to get angry, but if you let the anger consume you, you lose yourself. It becomes all you are, all you ever will be,  and I speak personally when I say that is not something I want to happen. More importantly, though, nothing will stick it to Droog more than seeing his 'little toy' stay cool under his pressures for an explosion."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

He just has to keep making sense doesn't he? You listen to everything he says, the feeling of guilt clearly written on your face. He's right and you know it. You feel ashamed that you have to be told all of this but he is right. It takes a you a moment to reply. "I will... I will work on it, sir. " You don't quite want to admit out loud to Scratch that you think he is right abut Fin and Trace's role in this too. It's true, you have been fueling each others rage instead of calming each other down. That's not what Moirails are supposed to do and it just now starts to dawn on you. "I can't let Droog ruin us like that, I know that. He doesn't deserve that privilege. And in time... We will get our revenge. Good things come those who wait yes? " You hope that is what he wants to hear. Both because you suddenly feel like you care much more about his opinion and because you want to avoid possible punishment. You won't ever not want Droog dead but you know the Felt are going to be the winning team in this war. You have to believe that after all. The alternative isn't something you even want to spend a thought on.

Scratch 11/13/2018

She has the right idea, anyway. All of this emotional nonsense only matters if the person involved is willing to put in the effort to change. Its not enough to just know what you have to do, its having the strength and willpower go through with it. No matter how difficult. Now if you were her teacher...well, it depends on the pupil as well. Some just refuse to be taught. "And while we're waiting, we can plan. I know what you must think of me, Ms. Leijon. I dont make myself very easy to like, and I apologize if my men gave you the wrong idea about me. I am here to support the Felt, which you are very much a part of. I want you to be the best you can be, and I know how to help you become that. If you'll allow me, I can start you down the path that will lead to your future. And if you decide that future holds a Diamonds-based revenge, then so be it." You put up a hand at the end of your sentence, a little sharply, but mostly for effect. You want her to take her time with this one. "Don't give me your answer now. Consider everything I've said. Consider how you are right now, and what you want to be in the future. If you cant picture it, ask yourself why. Take the next few days to really think about my proposition. I may not be able to offer you everything you want, but I can give you anything you need. If you dont want my help, you have to find a way to show me you're serious about becoming a better version of yourself."

This is the turning point. You've set the line out after successfully detangling the scenario. At this point you're almost more mad at Trace and Fin for their roles in this. A girl is traumatized by a kidnapping to the point she has to spend her life on payback to cope with the pain and fear she felt, and these two idiots are sitting there encouraging her instead of trying to calm her rage. "Until you have an answer, you're temporarily shelved. You may continue to live in the mansion because my philosophy is to generally take pity on the differently abled,plus you match the carpets, but I wont have you going out into the field where your actions represent and threaten my entire business. I will not continue waste any more medical equipment or personnel, or time on this. No flashy punishments, just a cut off. I'd say your own actions have punished you far more than I ever could. And if you do manage to find a way to fix whats been done, consider it a gift not to be wasted."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

You open your mouth to protest the whole shelving thing but...You can't really protest that at all can you? He's right about everything. You are useless right now in any event, so it's not even a big difference. But your need to be useful is just so damn high it barely slips anyways. You swallow the protests down and answer. "Yes, sir. I have...I have a lot to think about." Mostly about what you think of Scratch and your relationship with Fin and Trace. You never expected to get out of this talk with some sort of? Respect? For Scratch budding in your mind. Or that you would begin to question how stable your pale relationship is. It really is quite a lot to process.

Scratch 11/13/2018

Good. You hope she will think about it, and not let the opinions of those around her sway her choices. This all could have gone far worse, so you're glad for that. Maybe she'll listen. Maybe she wont. But the offer has been handed across the table, nothing left to do but wait. "Yes, you do. Now, as far as those two are concerned, you may tell them as little or as much as you wish to. Just make sure whatever you bring to me as your answer is because of your choices, not theirs." That said, you pat her twice on the head, smile, and stand. Back around the desk you go, taking your seat for the continuation of the trial. "Alright, gentleman, you can come back in." You call to your door, knowing full well that theyve been standing outside the entire time. With ears pressed to the wall, no doubt.

Trace 11/13/2018

You didn't listen in, at least not on purpose, and they've talked fairly quiet most of the time (which is as much unsettling as it is relieving). But you trust Nepeta to tell you all that is important. (Though, you also know well Scratch can play with someone's mind and you worry about all the subtle things he may try put into her head.) Anyway, you give Fin a nod and open the door again and walk up to right behind Nepeta, eyes on Doc. "Anything else?"

November 14, 2018

Fin 11/14/2018

You would usually be the kind to even bring the glass to not miss a word but not right now. You figured that Nepeta would bitch all about it later and the sound of your bouncy leg on the floor was enough to keep you entertained for the time beings. You go in and stand next to Nepeta hand on her shoulder.  Somehow it feels strange that the air is not filled with either fear or anger or any of the sort. Makes you regret not to have listened with more attention.

Scratch 11/14/2018

"Nepeta has been shelved. Until such a time as previously discussed between us, she will not partake in any field work. Along with that, until then, I am barring her from Felt resources in regards to any future problems with Droog or otherwise. And let me just say this plainly, as I'm sure you and I will be speaking privately soon, Trace. Shame on you. Shame on both of you. Choosing to care about your own emotions over whats best for you partner. And if you didnt know, or chose not to realize, then you're idiots. Dissmissed, all of you."

[survivorelara]

Episode #3: “This tribe can literally suck my left nut.” - Toby

Well after goofing my confessional days (sorry hosts who have to figure that one out.) I got an alliance chat together so that we can communicate without goofing up the challenge the only downside is that we haven't started yet due to nobody being on. (The sucky thing of people having different timezones.)

I'm hoping we can pull another win out of this challenge, I'm trying to just keep things casual overall, I can't exactly start making big moves or anything out of the gate. (Making this 4-man alliance is as big as it's gonna get for now.)

Just gotta stay low, do my part in challenges, and work social magic on people... ew did I really try to tell myself that I have social magic?

I feel like a loser. Even though I was saved. I can be stubborn sometimes and it makes me look bad. I hate that.

ok I started writing this yesterday.... and then forgot to send it... anyways hi this games going pretty good still? we havent gone to tribal and i really think I have some good allies on my tribe. also legacy woo!!!! I’m a bit overwhelmed with work irl but as always I’m going to ignore it

RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304 RoxyToday at 3:54 PM 201 202 203 304

oh? you want to hear about my master strategy? the one where i vote for odd instead of logan? well, it's actually a really complicated plan that involves: 1. voting early because i was about to go into a really long class that i cant use my phone in 2. that's it.   this is only the FIRST step that leads to me skillfully placing myself in the FTC where i win by a vote of 8-0-0.

Me? Sabotaging a challenge?? For a joint tribal council???

It's more likely than you think.

hi.......... so immunity challenge isn't going too well... half of our 24 hours is up and we're on 67. i mean that's mainly because no one was awake when i was so i really expect everyone to be popping off when im sleeping.... i don't want to go to tribal at all (even less than if it were to just be our tribe going to tribal, despite us having the numbers) because i can see this flipping on us somehow... or an idol being played or some shiz. hopefully,,,,,,,,, the other losing tribe if we go really aren't close and don't have our ~incredible~ group morale so the chance of an idol being played is minimised.... i can't really do anything rn except be optimistic and help with immunity but no one is on! ughhhhh if i dont get to play my legacy myself im gonna be s0000000 sad. i think if i go i'll give it to andrea bc i mean i knew louise beforehand but it isn't that fair to give it her because of pre-existing relationships... and andrea's a queen so.

Well we got into the challenge a little late unfortunately. I'm also worried I might be acting more... leaderly than I wanted to coming in, but hopefully I'm garnering more respect and appreciation rather than Oh, he's bossy, or Oh, he's good at this he's a threat, etc etc.

Ideally we wanna avoid that double tribal, but if we go then we'll just hopefully stay 6 strong, because I mean if we don't that means our tribe has a snake, which would suck.

I'm hoping to keep my, overall casually gameplay up, though my social game is lacking a bit, if I talk a bit more with people I think I'll be able to get people on board the Kori train.

We are currently at 420 as a score and I kinda hope it stays that way lawllll I doubt we are going to win but I honestly wouldn't mind some excitement as far as a tribal council will go. If we lose we will have 6 going against whatever other tribe we are againsts 5. So I wouldn't by any means say this is being thrown because we have all been trying however nobody has really been panicking today which is fun. I have really enjoyed talking with Big Z as we have been getting these numbers in together the last few hours, and am hoping if we swap together we will have a good connection going forward. I want to make everyone feel good and comfortable working with me

A combined tribal council... I really don't know how to feel. I'm already set for tribal council tonight, but I just want to know who will be attending alongside us. Like, its just something that is so defeatist and shit, but like if you fuck up on 203 out of all numbers and its just you and one other person... that's concerning.

Like that is my mood when I woke up. We lost at the number 203. Probably the other tribes are in the high 1000s and idk. I'm just begging for the worst at this point.

I take it back. No one cleared 500. That's just pathetic. Truly, it is.

Wow we were trash and now we have to vote someone out if it’s me I’m gonna 🔫🔫🔫🔫 everyone before I leave they’re all getting super soaked

FUCK BITCH! We're going to tribal with the other damn tribe. FUCK! No idea what's going to take place lol. Maybe if I keep a low profile I might be safe. IDK if being under the radar is such a good thing. I haven't played like this in a while. But if something happens I might snap.

THE STREAK CONTINUES

Although tbh I'm getting kind of bored with all of the nothing happening in our tribe so hopefully something interesting or exciting happens soon

https://youtu.be/tIiYdEMW6Dg

No idea what's gonna happen, and based on the vague implications, I think we might be seeing a swap of some kind perhaps of 2 tribes of 7 plus one person exiled.

ALTERNATIVELY It's a live challenge next... both have me mildly stressed but I'm ready to embrace either with open arms.

My patience grows thin with each passing hour that these Zosma's dont answer my one about this vote. At this point, Im gon a throw out a name to my Auva's and call it a day. But then again, Dylan and Odd are too awol to be trusted- thus aggravating me a little more. So if this is my final confessional of the season, better give me that OTTN5 edit.

Hello I hope we don’t swap I wish we went to tribal my tribe sucks and loris is definitely a snake and John is meh and Emma is inactive and kori is scary and I wanna work with zosma or like literally anyone else and I think I forhot someone OH big z he’s iconic but doesn’t talk to me smh

im so lucky lmaoo the rest of the cast can suck my dick also loris is kwl

I think we are probably going to rocks me and drew discussed the idea of getting both sides to vote for each other so when rocks are drawn we’d both be safe but he got worried about the idea of someone flipping and him dying which I understand but idk I’m ready to go balls to the wall

heuse1acToday at 4:05 PM Oh Sam calls me "dude" that might be my vote we're gonna have to see

DANI LIKES TO SING, KWEEN. Toby r e a l l y loves talking about himself. Sam is definitely straight. Unfortunate.

Y e e t h a w 🤠 Toby flopped in the counting challenge that I was ready to go the distance for & I’m not exactly sitting pretty for this joint tribal. I have a feeling that I could be targeted by Auva just because from an outsider’s perspective, I’ve done well in the past few challenges. There’s a lot of speculation that we’re gonna swap after this round, so I want Auva to know that I personally want to work with them in the future. Then together we can lower Revati’s numbers since they’re a bit too stronk right now. Drew T. tells me that himself, Drew H. & Roxy have been more on the “livelier” side as opposed to Odd & Dylan, whom I presume are on the bottom. Apparently Odd argued with the hosts as he was in the middle of a timed challenge & has rubbed some people the wrong way. So...why don’t we just vote out Odd for that reason? All I need to do is convince one person from Auva to flip & we avoid going to rocks, but I’m not shying away from rocks either. Dani said she’d go to rocks if Louise or I were in jeopardy, Roxy doesn’t want to kill me, Drew H. wants to play this game with me, & Drew T. let me know I wasn’t receiving votes. Maybe it isn’t the end of the world?

Toby finally found out that the idol was hidden under 39 & someone had already found it. I decided to stick to my guns by not claiming I have it because that only gives people incentive to vote you out. I have been leading Zosma’s votes which isn’t the position I’d ideally like to be in, but no one else is stepping up to the plate. I make my Odd pitch & say that we should tell the rest of Auva that they should vote out someone disposable to them instead of going to rocks for that person. Zosma & Auva are stubbornly solidifying themselves against the other for this vote, but I believe I could get Drew T. to flip. If not then I guess I’ll be drawing for rocks. :o

I want to make a longer one when I get home but for now im ready to did to rocks and join my boy jack in the robbed premerge with 0 votes club YEEEEEEEEET

Joint tribal is interesting. I think it will just be a tie. We will see.

Odd is voted out 5-3-2.