#plus honestly since getting out of evangelical christianity as a teen | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cookinguptales · 1 year ago

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as much as I wish it were otherwise, I feel like the way I would die in a horror movie is absolutely going to some out-of-the-way location to learn about a local religious custom and getting sacrificed or something.

like on one hand, I am always scrupulously respectful of the belief systems I'm studying, including accepting that some knowledge is not meant for me and that's okay, but on the other hand, I have been known to do some truly stupid bullshit to learn about something esoteric that's on public display. lmao

#just me #plus honestly since getting out of evangelical christianity as a teen #I find that I don't really believe or disbelieve anything anymore #(except I guess for the religion I was raised in which I have very much distanced myself from)#I respect some religious institutions and practices more than others for sure #and I'm mindful of politics and abuse in religious sects #but when people hear I did rels in college they often ask #'so which religion is right?'#and I don't know that I can conceptualize it that way anymore #I was raised in a religious environment that didn't allow me to respect or learn about other religions and I hated it #I was so closed before that I feel like I've rebelled against that by being very open now #so everything feels equally plausible and implausible to me now #I don't know that I can fully believe OR disbelieve in anything anymore #maybe that part of me is broken #the part that can trust and have faith #even the part of me that can be sure that something ISN'T real #I don't know #but like... many religious folks and places are just happy to teach anyone who's open to their beliefs and practices #you don't have to be a true believer #they just want to share their religion with you in any way you'll take it #but sometimes you DO have to be a true believer #and those are the situations in which I feel deeply uncomfortable and try to avoid #but maybe I'll end up getting killed by some religious group that kills outsiders who don't fully believe in things lmao #dying as I lived: being a nosy bitch #cw:#religion

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